The F Plus - 151: F Plus Sings

Episode Date: September 13, 2014

SongWritingFever.com is a place on the internet where self-professed songwriters can post lyrics without accompaniment, and it's up to the internet to build a song around what they have. Alright then, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Our first-ever musical episode has 5 ridiculists trying their best to sing the unsingable. The rest is for the remix.

Greetings F-Plus podcast listeners. We hope you enjoyed this very special episode. The F-Plus is also giving you a chance to remix some of the audio. You could win an F-Plus t-shirt. Details at the end of the podcast or at thefpl.us. Enjoy the show. Baby Daddy Movies. It's gonna be terrible Yep There it is Do you like good music?

Ha, that sweet soul music Welcome to the F Plus Podcast A terrible place for terrible things Read with enthusiasm In the room tonight we have Jimmy Franks If I were any other dude I'd ask you to do me. Jack Chick. Cancer fast.

Now I will infect your ass. Goodbye. Isfahan. Ants on kitchen counter. Stuck. I hate an apartment like sandwich. And Lemon.

Ooh, nice. I got it. I got it. Hey, F+. Hello, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Are you guys looking for inspiration? No.

Yes, always. Yes. Yeah. I'm not. Oh. It says yes and no. hello Lemon are you guys looking for inspiration no yes always yes yeah I'm not oh it says yes and no you convinced me the internet as you know is a wonderful place for creators to create you know it's a saying

in people that work in the internet that content is king and that people want to provide their content to the world at large and, and deliver. I mean, it's a big word, but people want to deliver art. You know what I mean? They want to deliver art to, I want to say, make the world a better place. I think that's what, that's what we want to do is make the world a better place.

So to that end, I'm going to introduce you to a site right here. And that site is called songwritingfever.com Oh boy! Guess what? Let me guess, you got lady friends again. No, I got songwriting fever!

It is contagious and we're all going to catch some songwriting fever by the end of this episode. The website, for those of you that are interested, is black and green. Well, and then there's clipart graphs. I don't know a whole lot about web design, but I know that this is awful. Well, then you know more than you think. Those are not complimentary colors. Those are insulting colors.

Alright, alright. We can stop talking about visual things. Shut up. Alright. So, but whether or not you think it's a nice looking site, and nobody does, it is a site that provides the content the content is the king and

that content in this case is song lyrics song lyrics for the public for the public to appreciate and enjoy now in almost all cases not all cases but in almost all cases they don't actually have the songs um written they just have the lyrics you know they they started started from there, much like, you know, Kurt Cobain. Yeah. So, actually, Kurt Cobain is the only way around. But anyway, so what we're going to do at the F Plus as a service is we're going to bring some of these songs to life and, you know, yeah, make the world a better place. So, let's start out with the first song in this document here.

And this song is called Warrior. Well, it's actually called Warrior. What do you think? All right. So, Jimmy Franks, if you'll start us off and shoot down the walls of heartache. Bang, bang. Here we go. I'm a warrior.

I fuck off the door. Pop up a power. Stay with me, fire. Stay with me, fire. All right. I'm a warrior. I drink alcohol. You drink alcohol?

And I'm still sober. I still see you nowhere. Why? Because you're my tie-yai-yai-yai-yai-yai-yai. It's like... You're my tie-yai-yai-yai-yai-yai. It's like tie-yai. Oh, yeah.

This is not a very good kink song. Are we to the chorus part yet? Oh, yeah. Electronic music. An instrumental chorus. Ooh. That's the chorus. Okay.

Keep going. The second verse, please. All right. Here we go. I'm a fighter. Fuck. I pretend living without you, baby.

I'm zero. Naked. I tolerate love. Maybe you're not so not. Come on and tell me or leave me crazy cause you're my tie. Tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie.

Oh, yeah. Electronic music. electronic music oh oh are we in the bridge yet what's the bridge sound electronic music tell tell me uh ah ha ha ha these are actual lyrics written out this guy channeled little Little Richard for this part.

Come on, come on. Till, let, let, let I fuck you. I want you. Little Richard didn't write that. That's all I got. Well, that's good. That was written by Daniel Notion. You can follow him on Twitter. That's Daniel Notion. I, that's good. That was written by Daniel Notion. You can follow him on Twitter.

That's Daniel Notion. Oh, I thought that was one of the lyrics. Follow me on Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter.

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Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Before we get any further, I want to thank Marcus for providing this doc. Thank you, Marcus. First one for Marcus. Thanks, Marcus.

I am enjoying this, and I think let's go, this is song number three in the doc, and it is called, Any Thoughts Add to This Song? It's by Emma Felton. Yeah, great. And it's fun, if you'll take this one, please.

Alright. Forums member, It's by Emma Felton. And it's fine if you'll take this one, please. All right. Forums member. I made a deal with God. I made a deal with God to do my best and keep strong to help guide others right from wrong and turn my emotions into songs. turn my emotions into songs. I made a deal with God to speak when I'm hurting or when things ain't working like the traumatic time I had when I was 13. But I don't want to go into that. I made a deal with God not to take the good for granted.

I made a deal with God not to serve to Satan for how big things get. He'll keep my head up and walk forward with no regrets. things get you'll keep my head up and walk forward with no regrets i made a deal with god to smile when i'm down to turn my emotions into sounds to smoke my troubles away and make green clouds i made a deal with god to do my best to search for happiness and success and to remember that there's no need to stress or i am blessed. I made a deal with God to share my pain and let everyone know that you can't play life like a game

to learn every day to make a deal with God is what I would say. Is that the end of the song or is that more of it? That was another sort of Sousante of Corey Harton

there, I think. Now, for the folks listening, I know that sounded like a long song, but it was actually only about six lines. I like how all these so far sound like

80s theme shows to television shows that got canceled. I think that says more about us than the song. Just the ten of us and we're all leaving. All right.

You know, I think it's time to party at this point. Stog. Stog, it's time to party. Let's party. This song's called Party by Gary D. Gray. Yeah, I'm DJ Stog now. And it needs a composer slash partner to musicate fast music.

Musicate this shit. Hey, that's a good idea. My song is called Party. Needs composer slash partner to music-ate Fast Meat Country Demo. Music-ate this shit. Hey, that's a good idea. My song is called Party Needs Composer Slash Partner to Music-ate Fast Meat Country Demo. I'm Gary D. Gray. Music-ate my lyrics, bro. Party! Alright, let's party. Party, party.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Gonna call a few of my friends. We're gonna get it started. That's when it all begins, this good time called a party. Oh, that's a good time call. Okay. Oh, are we ready for the chorus? I'm ready for the chorus.

Chorus it up. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. Let me hear you holler. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. That's that you say? Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. That's that you say? Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. If it ain't a party, it's just another day. I want to say to like three or four of our listeners right now,

you're welcome for your new ringtone. Yeah. I'll make sure Jack is here and all those related will even have wine and beer whatever it takes to get wasted or if you're or if you want more party

it's alternate choice it's to help some get naked alternate choice sure the radio edits party party party party party party party party let me hear you holler party party party

party party party party what's that you say party party party party party party party if it ain't a party it's just another day so red blue sky foo and stog a party is just another day! So Red, Blue, Sky-Fu, and Stog.

When the Pele's get called, and I'm sure they will, cause some neighbors are too nosy by some old fogies, we're gonna be forced to tone it down or be hauled off to the pokey! Oh man, drop that rhyme.

Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. Let me hear you holler. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. What's that you say? Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. If it ain't a party, it's just another day. Crack it up. Take a shot.

What was, was cold is now hot, hot, hot. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. Let me hear you holler. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party. And thanks to us, it is now officially a frat of seagulls. Because that's what you guys sound like. Congratulations, everybody. I think we managed to record a song that sounds worse than TV Party.

We knew it had to be out there. By the way, that song is Copyright Party by Gary D. Gray, All Rights Reserved, 2014 BMI. Oh, he got picked up already. Yeah. That's a terrible body mass index. Sing. Alright. Well, Jack Chick,

do you think you're ready to do what I'm... Oh, I was... Okay. Jack Chick, there's a song in here that's called Losing My Religion. Oh, that Losing My Religion? I Recognize is an R.E.M. song, but you'll notice that this song is not by R.E.M., but in fact Bruce Ritza. And it's not in the sort of college pop rock category, but instead, it's in category

goth genre rap. Good luck, sir. Indeed it is. So, this is a goth rap song called Losing My Religion. Alrighty, I will do my best.

And since he doesn't have line breaks, you have no idea what the rhythm is. Nope. I'm sure you'll find it in there somewhere. Nope. I must mention that I ain't up for being ruled by convention. The strength I have is a substantial trait laden with the desire to replicate and emulate the prior greats. Those waiting in vain at heaven's gates, low's faith in themselves, such a fatal mistake. Don't you see it's only you that can make yourself great.

Absorb the knowledge and enlightenment that awaits. I send myself to the desert as an act of faith, hoping to return a self-redeemed man warmly embraced. I gotta say, I don't know what RZA sees in you. That's the first line. Yep, that's the first line. One of two. Yes. Well, this one has some ellipses.

Well, enjoy those pauses. Okay, then. Well, enjoy those pauses. Prodigal son to the earth god relinquishing my soul to promote what I got. Yeah. Rhyme and reason. Ha ha, yeah. This is where they put the music in.

The greatness I envision. Envision. My broad-minded intuition. The want to be self-sufficient. This is the reason for me changing my religion and taking up a different position, joining an underground division, the society of true light, staying faithful to my decision. I was once a follower, but now I stand a leader my purpose is not misled the herd but guide my people

to pastures much greener this is the new era where wolves and sheep create a strong bond through witnessing the pain and misery overwhelmed by this life's complexities in search of uncovering life's mysteries loss of souls due to spiritual suffering.

Losing my religion. Yay! I should probably drop the song title in here somewhere. Bring it back around. What the fuck? Fuck, man. You read it. Mad flow, yo.

So I want to bring you my song. It's a song written by Cherries. And it's not Naina Cherry, but just Cherry. The song's called Na Na Na. Needs music. Okay, here we go. I'm a forums member. Name's Cherry.

Na Na Na. Eyes glowing. Sky blue. Feel so trance. It's true. Prestigious. I'm up with stars having loads of money and fancy cars you want

me now should have asked at the time when I asked for love and life gave me limes when I think I'm wrong they tell me I'm right because I got my head screwed on so my future will be bright these are just getting longer and longer yeah you question me how many days just say no and get your grades hey

rainbows can take us there to make me happy. Get me blue hair. Mom, I want to dye my hair. No, just get your grades. I'm bored of all these kids who act like adults. I want to sit in the front seat. I'm the one to consult. Hey, rainbows can take us there to make me happy summer's in the air my friends remind me of happy memories like when we were dancing wild and free i like sunshine to get a tan i'm like do i

what's with my brand my brand you know the thing in my head. My brain. She's very concerned about her fiber intake. I am the prime don't give a damn about finding a donkey who's gone insane. What? You question me. Drunk or high? Say what? Cause I'm sober as the sky.

Hey, rainbows can take us there. To make me happy. Get me blue hair. I'm bored of all these kids who act like adults. I want to sit in the front seat. I'm the one to consult. Hey, rainbows can take us there to make me happy. Summer's in the air.

My friends remind me of happy memories like when we were dancing wild and free. Rainbows, rainbows, na-na-na. Rainbows, rainbows, na-na-na. Rainbows, rainbows, na-na-na. Rainbows, rainbows, na-na-na. Rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows, Email if you're interested. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay. Let's see. All right. So, okay.

So I think, yeah, Jimmy Franks. We're going to have to do a choice here. Would you like to read,'m sorry sing would you like to sing Clean Slate by Justin Hattaba or The Blind Teacher by Mortimer Mortimer

well I'm feeling in a country mood I don't know which one that is I think well I want to tell you a story tell you a story about the blind teacher alright hit him with the stomp

I went to school to find knowledge a waste of my life in the college if I see and say I wait for the face of chance if I dance in the swamp of problems and trance, that's how simple I am. Am I able to say about who I am? Wow, Jimmy Franks is making this work.

Sing it, brother. Oh, shit. One more couplet. No, I lost my place on the page. I've got to scroll down the page. Like a dreamy man, I have a plan. Oh, the church of my head has no fan. Oh, boy.

What does that mean? Okay. Society's the blind teacher. Great goals made me like a beggar. I need to help someone in need. Helping first to myself, then others indeed. Talking about girls, talking about trucks On the dirt road

Went to the street to find a job I lost my chance to the Rob of Love What? What? Hello, my name's Rob, you look attractive Maybe he misspelled it and meant he lost his chance to the Rob of Low This fall in ABC, the Rob of Love. Rob Low took his job.

If I laugh in the face of what sorrow brings, if I forget nothing but the bad luck rings, that's how much hope I have. Who's able to see how romantic I am? Like a lover man, I have no ban. The home of my heart needs a war man Yeah, I made that rhyme If I was a political cartoonist I would be drawing a car

With the rhythm written on it And you chasing after it Society's the blind teacher Great goals make me like a beggar I need to help someone in need Helping first to myself Then others indeed And then this next part's in italics for some reason

Taking it to the bridge Stumbling blocks of pride Like a high wall inside me Hence I may lose myself So I need to find a key My role of life is small, but I'm a big actor. This scene needs both hero and the anti-hero factor. Oh, God.

That's the worst. Society's the blind teacher. Yeah, it goes maybe like a beggar. I need to help someone in need. Helping first to myself, then others indeed. I like how the author of this song confused her homework and the song she was

writing. These people are very concerned with rhyming, but not with meter. None of them are concerned with meter. You can have one or the other but not both oh yeah I think we're going to do a song called new song need music

I look at clean slate and I really think it would work well with like kind of a Shatner style spoken word treatment well I don't want to doubt your instincts. All right, fine. Clean slate it is. So go right ahead.

Okay. This is Clean Slate by Justin Hedebog. I cleared my profile so I could have a clean slate. And if you seal my fate, a monster is what I will create. Stacking punchlines in an ammo crate. What had you caught? But they bid on the bait. A little too late. In Arkansas, you gotta

have the right state of mind. But him in the mind of the state, they all put too much on their plate. No time to wait, no time to hate, no time to judge and rate. Rhymes off in the distance like Kuwait. Course for lunch. Dinner time. Diverse is what he ate.

Mmm, yeah. And it filled him up with a little bit of transition words in his cup. Try to battle with me and get tore up. Wow, what a stupid pup. In an active volcano, just waiting to erupt. Yeah, he's so corrupt. Okay, I think you have rage issues. You should go see a therapist.

Yeah, he's so corrupt. No, I think he just rage issues. You should go see a therapist. Yeah, he's so corrupt. No, I think he just wants to be in a slam poetry competition. It's sort of a battle for the worst. Stog, what do you like better, Nirvana or freestyle rap? I think I've been hearing a lot of Nirvana lately, so I think I'm going to go with that. All right, the song's called New Nirvana Inspired Peace. It's by Finlay Flanders.

Finlay Flanders is a forum member. And yeah. So you've been listening to a lot of Nirvana, and you've been dissecting the lyrics. And so this is what you came up with, called State of Mind. Hi-lee-ho, neighbors. This is my new song called State of Mind. Hey. You-ho, neighbors. This is my new song called State of Mind. Hey! You're the Simpsons fan fiction flavor.

Oh, hey, it's my cousin. And if it's all right with you, keep to your own place. I think it's best for me that you keep your waists. Let's just say today I'm not in the best mood. I'm too tired. Got a migraine.

I can't chew my food. Yeah, that definitely sounds like a Nirvana there. Yep, perfect. Get away, get away, get away, get away. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. At least people got some choruses.

Let me live and enjoy. Don't stay undestroyed. What? I gotta take this flannel shirt I'm wearing and nod it about my waist. This guy's never actually listened to Nirvana, has he? Of course he has. Keep going. I think I'm right when I say ill kindness.

My curse, it's a kick in the head to myself, my sir. My sir? In the driving seat, but I don't have the will. Ooh, metaphor. Am I too tough on myself? This ragged ordeal. You're not tough enough on yourself, have the will. Ooh, metaphor. Am I too tough on myself? This ragged ordeal. You're not tough enough on yourself, by the way. You should be a lot tougher on yourself.

If you had more of a critical mind, you wouldn't have done this. Get away, get away, get away, get away. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. Let me live and enjoy. Don't stand to destroy. okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. Let me live and enjoy. Enjoy. Don't stay and destroy. I'm not too sure what I'm on. I'm too sure of where I'm from.

Huh? Why can't I reach out to me? I might just let it be. Jesus. And if it's all right with you, keep to your own place. I think it's best for me that you keep your waist. Let's just say today. Is weight loss tips now?

I'm not in the best mood. I'm too tired, got a migraine, and can't chew my food. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's how it ends, too. Can't chew my food. Oh, there we go. I've gotten this as bad as it's going to get.

Time to snort some more paprika. Yeah. I like it that he just got to that point and even he knew it was bullshit. Just said, fuck it. I'm done alright alright songwriting's hard I'm gonna go cry some more this next conk's called dare you stood girl

this feels kind of black street to me here we go Robert William Gruner wrote this a good rap name okay dare you stood, girl. First time I saw you under that summer moon. Your eyes blazed me, promised tomorrows in June.

Baby, that smile melted this man's frozen heart. We drowned willingly in love never drifting apart. Verse two. Those lips of yours beckon so sweetly to me. Golden hair flowed in the golden hair flowed so gently in a soothing breeze. Alabast arms

reaching out, pulling me to your face. My injured spirit inviting with that loving embrace. Chorus. Yeah, there you stood, girl. Dancing without dancing without dancing floating into my eyes there you stood girl girl the chorus is the worst part verse three you know darling you spoke a thousand words all the while only a moment passing, I heard my wonderful angel. You flew to me that very day.

Your voice ringing over vast oceans asking to stay. And then that really super awesome chorus I'm going to repeat twice. Let's do it. Here's the tag. This fades out. This fades out at the end.

There you stood, girl. There you stood, girl. There you stood, girl. There you stood, girl. There you stood, girl. There you stood, girl. There you stood, girl. Ooh, I like that. I like these special effects that we have here. Yeah, thank you, yeah.

I also like the verses where he, by the time he got to the fourth line, he was just like, how many syllables can I cram into this line? Now, now, my homies, this is the second verse. We are past the first verse. If you don't calm down, I'm going to have to cut this off early, okay? You stood, girl. This guy's also been picked up by body mass index. All right.

So let's do immortality. Immortality, Jack Chick. This is another song by Justin Hattabaugh. Does it have to be goth rap again? You know, I mean, I know that he likes goth rap, but, you know, I'm sure that he's got, you know, varied musical approaches. So, oh, man, Justin Hattabaugh is really just burning up

this forum here. Yeah. Yeah, he is. All right, so Immortality, oh man, Justin Hattabaj really just burning up this, uh, forum here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he is. All right. So, uh, immortality, bring it please. All right. Sometimes I feel like an immortal, like I changed completely teleportation through a

secret portal. Oh yeah. As a rapper. I don't like this Andrew Dice clay musical. And you expect it to, I'm sure. As a rapper right now

I'm at the bottom of the sea. Just another piece of coral. Coral. Coral guide is it that says you have to keep adding more and more syllables to each line. Or you can rhyme.

I have a pretty fucked up moral. Oh, reset. Yeah, I can write rhymes, but most of my shit is oral. But I guess this can be a starting point. But I guess this can be a starting point. I'm not some wannabe gangster. I don't rap about smoking a joint. I just say whatever is on my mind.

Sometimes I gotta dig deep. Yeah, some of my shit is hard to find. Always living in the now, never going rewind. This is where all my lyrical thoughts are combined why can't a woman be born like a man underwater coral the musical yeah it did have that Pirates of Penzance feel to it but yeah I think actually that was supposed to be

more goth rap so Jimmy Franks But yeah, I think actually that was supposed to be more goth rap. So Jimmy Franks. Yes. I'm going to give you a choice again. One song is called Arms of Calmness. And the other song is called One Last Time. I think I want to go with the second one. All right.

Well, I'm going to get comfortable. All right. So that song is called One Last Time. I think I want to go with the second one. All right. Well, I'm going to get comfortable. All right. So that song is called One Last Time. It needs music and a singer, which is what most music needs. All right. Okay. This is the one you picked.

Yeah. Yep. I'm going to you picked. Yeah. Yep. I'm going to regret that. All right. So this one's going out to all the lovers out there tonight. Okay. One last time. One last time.

Something's rug with me tonight. I just won't stand still with myself. I have to fight. Can't stop shaking my feet. If, oh, lie, how it feels you canoe. I keep rolling my arm to you. So why don't we just hit the floor? Come on, I canoe.

You want more? Turn our heads until we feel dizzy. Let's not worry about our hair getting frizzy. Just let it fly open. I think Neil Diamond should stop going on Tories Too Old. Why does Neil Diamond think we is spelled with the letter V? Because it sounds like we when you say V. Oh, kind of.

So let's just pretend it's our last chain to dance. It's the last song that will be played tonight. Let's sing it loud. Let's break some more rules and act as if there's no restrictions. Nice rhyme. As if it's our one last time. Let's have the time of our life. Music is too loud, no, no, turn up the volume.

All your tensions are out, no, no, take in the music. Let's do something crazy, run away somewhere screaming. Let's just stay here and make the most of this party. Choose your next song. The DJ is ready. The drinks are being served and the house is full. What are you

waiting for? The number four. The number four. This guy was like, I got to get this. I got to text this out so fast. This is a brilliant. My muse is speaking to me.

My brain's working faster than my thumbs. And now Yahoo Answers writes a song. Tonight, nobody cares how you dance. They are all busy in their own world. Let's get your life started started giving it a kickstart so let's just pretend it's our last chain to dance it's the last song that

will be played tonight let's sing it loud let's break some more rules if there's no restrictions should I keep going? yeah absolutely what the fuck rules are they? I could not have enough of this. At the time of a life.

I think this song is about smoking pot during the prom. Alright girl, let go of all your stress. Don't worry if you create a mess. Try caring a bit less. Nobody is perfect. See the moon bit less. Nobody is perfect. See the moon's out. Everybody is moving their feets fast. Let's see how much time you can last on the dance floor.

Dance epidemic tonight! Just pull out a girl you just met and dance with her the whole night. Oh, that was the bridge. Okay. Trust me, your tomorrow will be fine. Except a bit of a hangover. So why don't you have a good time tonight? Oh, fuck, a rhyme.

So let's just pretend it's our last chance to dance. It's the last song that will be played tonight. Let's sing it loud. Let's break some more rules. Some more rules. Act as if there's no restrictions. Oh, there's not going to be any rules left. As if it's our one last time.

Let's have the time of our life. Pulling out the blow-up doll from my pocket. Dancing with her at the prom. Flicking off everyone that looks at me weird. Tonight, it's all about crazy fun. Stupid death sessions. First love. Last mistakes.

Second chances. Bad choices. Oh, God, there's more. Here's the smiles going hand in hand, living a bit. Let's pretend as if we don't have a past. Let's scream as if we don't have a voice. Let's cry because we are so happy. Let's just act as if it's our one last time.

Let's just have the time of our life. Last chance to dance. Last song to sing loud. Last kiss I will miss. Last goodby. Cause I ain't going anywhere. So high. High.

Hello there. Will you dance with me tonight? Nope. Will you sing with me aloud? Nope. Will you kiss me like you have never before? Will you pretend as if we just met? Nope.

I mean. Let's pretend it's our one last time and have the time of our lives. I'm drunk on Tropic Killers. Dancing with my blow up doll. I'm going to go vomit on the floor. I don't even taste the alcohol in these wine coolers these are pretty good I have no sense of how many lyrics are actually in a song

oh god I'm gonna vomit someday I'll learn that the word two is spelled T-O. Really, that's the one you're getting hung up on? I just love that it was always two. Yeah. Okay, so the next song after this is

by Clifton Baird, and here's why I know this song needs to be read. There And here's why I know this song needs to be read. There's one reason why I know this song needs to be read. And that's because the song starts out, Don't worry, who is the best friend? He's white. Thanks, Cliff. Oh, boy.

I wasn't sure there for a second, but all right. Don't worry who the best friend is. He's white. Oh, he's white. Okay, fuck it. I don't care about him. second, but all right. Don't worry who the best friend is. He's white. Oh, he's white. Okay, fuck it. I don't care about him. Yeah, so Isvan, this is called Loyal Until You're Spoiled. Okay.

Featuring Jerry. Okay, who gets to be Jerry? Oh, fuck. Shit. All right, Jack Chick, you're Jerry. Oh, great. Okay. So Jerry does the parts in...

Yeah, okay, so yeah, Jerry is the parts in either parentheses or brackets, depending. You know what this song needs? A co-writer. Okay. Alright, so I'm the parentheses or brackets. Okay. Long, dramatic intro. Okay. Alright, so I'm the parentheses or brackets. Okay. Long dramatic intro.

Loyal. I'm with you. Spoil. I'll forgive you. Loyal. I'm with you. Spoil. I'll remit you. Oh, thank you. Spoiled. I'll remit you.

Oh, thank you. Verse one. Come. Whereas I repeat, I petty the thief. Repeaty the thief. You know me. Hard to be chic when you're checking your fresh. Matter of

fact, hard to check when you're checking her dress. I PD. I really think that's how that's spelled. Fuck, I was fly by myself. I met her. I PD fly me.

She bought a Samsung Galaxy 3 by myself. I met her. I Petey Fly me. She bought a Samsung Galaxy 3 by me. So she Petty Buy me. She bother me for things she don't even want. Petty Buy Flea. Petty Buy Flea? That's the best kind. Yeah, she absorb

the environment and go to anyone who's weak. Even if you squeeze your fingers together, she'll be trapped in the knee. And if you drown her head in soapy water,

she won't pee. No! Won't pee! She not hardworking like her mother, she won't eat. Jesus Christ! This got dark real quick. She not hardworking like her mother. She won't eat. Jesus Christ. This got dark real quick. Hardworking people eat?

Okay. Intro interlude. O to X. Chorus. Why is that easier than writing O-R-E-S? Loyal. I'm with you. Loyal.

I'll get with you. Oh, shit. Spoiled. I'll miss you. Enjoyed. Enjoyed. I'm with you. I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Spoiled. There's, sput, spoiled. There's my tribute to Phil Collins. Interlude. Semp, Lauryn Hill, Jerry. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ooh. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ooh. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ooh. Verse two.

I petty my hard work. Fuck, didn't get one in general. I petty my degree of respect for her. Overwhelmed, overjoyed, overstepped my bounds on her touchy subject. I petty my assault rifle I should have used on her when she used it for four hours and sixteen minutes. Calling sixteen digits. When I set bounds, she leaps. I petty my hard work, but I never went to Harvard.

She'd get out of me then the weekend. I guess I didn't watch that clip in the bed from Rush Hour 3. That's what it says, folks. What the hell is going on here? When I got my snow sled and muffs, she was going to rush hour me. I petty my hamachar juicer, she gonna rush hour and eat it. Star, star, star, star. Fuck chorus.

Oh wait, no, maybe Jerry was supposed to say fuck. No, I did the star, star, star, star. Oh, sorry. It's always pronounced fuck. Yeah. Star, star, star, star means fuck. To X loyal. Star star star star. Let's fuck. It's always pronounced fuck. Yeah. Star star star star means fuck. Two X. Loyal.

I'm with you. Loyal. I'll get with you. Spoiled. I'll miss you. Enjoy it. I'll remit you. Enjoy it. I'll remit you. Spoiled.

Bridge, question mark, Alice in Chains. Yeah! In my mind, not forgot. Feel as though two for rot. Behind the as though to rot. Behind

the smile a tongue slipping. Buzzards cry way in flesh. She's ripping.

Verse three. Once again, I petty my fresh heart when you're checking fresh. The check around a bracelet should be checking her neck. What? Oh my God.

Hard to be a baller when you're her number one problem solver. Friend in need of a friend she caught up. I try to forgivever, friend in need of a friend she caught up, I try to forgive her, but I'm not a Jesus. Jesus? From a guy who, when he was five, sprained his ankle getting a rhesus...

Oh my god. Getting a rhesus pesus. Rhesus pesus. Rhesus pesus. That's a rhesus monkey, pesus. Yeah. Rubbed her the wrong way like folks who bought tickets in the Lakers 2014 season. A little comedy for you there.

2014 season. A little comedy for you there. 2014 season. I try to forget the past. She won't forget a jag. Who does the talking? Who gets the math? She don't get over things easily. I'm Democrat.

Okay, sure. I'm Democrat. From a kid. Okay. Holy hell. From a kid when she was 19 years old. Had an assault rifle that could shoot 60% of its aim, and 500 yards at.20 speed like Ron Isley, I'm going to get my some piece. Holy crap.

This guy's gone up the rails. Don't worry about her. She's white. Okay, this one, what gun was it? I don't know. I have no idea. I don't even know who Ron Isley is. I think it was in the Isley Brothers, the song Shout. Just thought you'd like to know. Thank youley is. I think it was in the Isley Brothers, the song Shout. Just thought you

would like to know. Thank you very much. Yep. When that shower get cold she going to

hear me shouting. Shouting. Stop turning on the faucet. Chorus. Jerry. Reacts. Loyal.

I'm with you. Loyal. I'm with you. Loyal. I'll get with you. Spoiled. I'll miss you. Enjoyed. I'll remit you.

Spoiled. Interlude. Sampy Lauren Hill dash Jerry. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I'm with you. Bring back the Smurfs! Wow. That's what somebody in the audience is yelling. I think that was some teamwork there.

At first I thought he was trying to, like, pity, but apparently he really did mean petty, but he was using it as a verb, so I don't even know. So is Jerry supposed to be Jerry Cantrell? No, it's just Like there was an Allison Chains part Because there was a Lauryn Hill part

I think Jerry's the Jerry's his buddy Hey Jerry come here and write a song Oh shit I'm with you I'll miss you I don't know what remit means Jerry why don't you sing in this microphone?

Make sure it works. All right. Please remit me to the above address. Jesus. All right. So this last one's a little bit more freeform. It's called No Sex. It does not follow the stringent song guidelines.

It's by Poetic Love Poet Music, and music has a Q in it. Aw. Yeah, of course it does. Yeah, so this song's called Love Sex. It's in category Other Genre Jazz. And we're all taking this one. All of us get together, and when all of us are together in a room, no sex happens.

All right, here we go. All right. No sex. I wish that was always true. There are exceptions. I wish there was no sex. Wish there were no men, no women, but human beings. So wish there was no sex, no romance, no lust, kisses and smooches.

That pains from sex, loneliness and hurts after love or lust won't be. No child would have been exposed to danger if there was no sex. Human beings would have grown from birth as adult that there could have been no sex, no pregnancy, and no drama. Wish one could say just hi to a human person, not men or women. Wish there was such a life without intention to romance, melodic love, and hot sex. And it could have been fun without lust, emotional attachment. No longing for souls that they be taking advantage of.

By so doing, life would have been for beautiful. Life would have been full beautiful. Yes, it would have been wonderful without sensually homosexual emotion. Yes, without sex, the many souls lost to the power of death would have been here. I wish there was no thought for a male-female relationship I wish it were so No sex, no violence, heartbreaks, no death No drama and baby mama drama Baby daddy movies

You know what? When I truly need someone to talk to, a soul to touch, someone to hold, caress and kiss, no one is there. When I need love, I deserve to talk sex, get nasty, kinky, and get some spicy, juicy, crunchy, lively. Yes, true wet sex. Yes, true wet sex.

When I truly need, want some good sex, everyone is in someone else's arms. She is snoring or breakdancing in someone's bed. Moonwalking to heaven. Yeah, no, not the route.

She's speaking in tongues. Telling him the same thing she told me. When it truly needs some good sex, everyone is in. Everyone is in Everyone is in It's such a fucking weird show

This one is going to be fantastic I got the submission from Marcus And I looked at it and I was like, shit, this won't work. Let's do it. Oh, man. Thank you. This has been magnificent.

That was great. They say you are what you eat, but when the fuck I eat a legend. Great. Perfect. F plus what did we learn from this? If you have a song in your heart, you have to share it with the world no matter how no matter

how nonsensical it is you have to share it with the world it's the rules yeah yeah yeah yeah because i mean you know someone will appreciate it probably not in the way that you imagined apparently someone's gonna have fun with this apparently a lot can be forgiven as long as you can show that you at least made the effort to rhyme. Yeah, meter is totally irrelevant. In fairness, these guys are at least, I mean, this is how you start. This is how you start writing. As you make bad shit.

And then hopefully you get better. And it's less shit. And there's more good stuff. And then hopefully you get better and it's less shit and there's more good stuff. Yeah, I don't know if Justin Hattenbaugh has moved on from this stage in his songwriting. I can take a fucking guess. Let's wish him well. He's probably writing for Kelly Clarkson. I have one of those two and a half inch Office Max, three rim binders full of just stapled together notebooks of the bullshit that I wrote in high school

because I'm far enough away from that that I can look at this garbage poetry and be like, what a dumb idiot. But then you can put it away and not everyone else in the world can see it. Yeah, yeah. That was one of the perks of growing up like at the time we did. Yeah, I mean, that's a luxury that we had.

And that's a luxury that other people can have. Like, it's out there. I recognize that it's out there. I recognize that you can put your stupid fucking face onto YouTube. Not a requirement. But, you know, whatever you want to do. The thing that I found amazing is, like, you know, we've talked before about, like, when people have done, like, sort of screenwriting and stuff like that. And how, like, and how it's obviously fails the test of nobody.

Nobody tried to say this out loud because nobody trying to say this out loud, because if you had said this out loud, you'd be like, oh, this is completely off. But this is off to the point that it's obvious on the page, because if you write four lines, and the lines keep getting longer every time, you can visually see you're doing it wrong. I'm making pyramids with my lyrics. Check me out, guys. Yeah, that's true.

Like, do they read what they wrote and they think, oh, I'm sure somebody will be able to put music to this? We certainly tried. Yeah, they're not even thinking about it, right? Because they're not actually, none of them are musicians.

They don't understand how any of it works. They're just sort of like of like well i want to put what my thoughts are down and you know fuck everything else uh but but the thing but but the other thing that's that's sort of interesting about is that is that um it's not you know it's not just a simple matter of uh they're like oh here's the dumb shit in my head let me put it on paper because there it is. Because, you know, that's a fine thing to do, whatever. But they're beyond that because this whole thing is supposed to be a songwriter's database. It's people connecting with each other like, hey, I have these lyrics and I'm trying to get this thing together. Like all these song titles are called like, you know, I need a composer.

So they do think they're on the road uh and and you know and presumably like if they actually found somebody like that could play bass uh then they'd be like no we can't shit my lyrics are precious well if if you're on the road to writing your 20 minute rock opera about food yeah where should i go with my rock opera? You should go to Ball Pit. What's the address for that, Ball Pit? B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. We have burgers. That's fine, but you know, I also just want to comment on things and go to a place where I can just learn about podcasts and maybe even buy a t-shirt.

Where should I go for that? Uh, T H E F P L dot U S. There we go. Thank you very much for listening and, have a great one. Bye. Bye. Goodbye.

I'm naked. Yay. I'm naked! Yay! Sing, sing a song Make it simple to last your whole life long Don't worry that it's not good enough For anyone else to hear. Just sing.

Sing a song. Hello, F-plus listener. This is Lemon. We haven't talked in a little while. This was a fun one. And so there's something I want to try with you. You, you, you right now with the fucking headphones in your ears, you, the person who's listening to this,

I want to try something here because I think it would be fun. So what we're going to do, we're going to put all of the MP3s that you just heard on the website, thefpl.us, going to do like a remix the f plus contents so here's the idea you download the mp3 you remix it into something that's listenable or funny or you know the banging fucking club hit of the winter, you remix any of these audio tracks into something that's a song, I'm going to pick my favorite.

I'm going to send that person a free T-shirt. You get it to me whatever way you want. Email it to me, lemon at thefpl.us. You put it on ball pit, whatever it is. You send me that song. I want to give you a free t-shirt. Details on the website. We're going to try this. I think it might be fun.

So, that's what we're going to do. Thanks for listening. Get remastering! Alright. Thanks a lot for listening. Bye-bye.