The F Plus - 155: The Search For Terrestrial Intelligence

Episode Date: November 16, 2014

There's a whole lot of planets out there, but this one's mainly nimrods. We're looking at the curiously named alien-ufos.com, a very popular forum for true believers to discuss the various things aliens did to their butts. This week, The F Plus wants to get abucted (we will not state our reasons).

Fuck off. I think you can fill in the blanks. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. And whether you believe in it or not, they hate us too. Welcome to the F+, your place on the internet for out-of-this-world things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Jack Chick. Question number four. Do you have hemorrhoids? Boots ring here. Okay, who believes in fairies? I do, I do. Frank West. Are you an alien who has been abducted by humans?

From LeftHandedRadio.com, Adam Bozarth. The prank the aliens pulled on me is that they placed me in a cylinder and put long pins through my body. From Lou Reads the Internet for you at LouReads.com, this is King Lou Fernandez. Years ago, a small stocky gray came into my house and said they were going to take over the Earth and start destroying satellites. I wrote the date down, but nothing happened. I'm glad they were lying. And Lemon. Once controlled, the grays would be able to manipulate our communications and thus our actions.

It certainly explains the emergence of reality TV, no? No. Sorry. No. It's good to think these things, run them through, see what happens. It's called research. Hey, F+.

Hey, Lemon. Hello. Hello. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hello. Have any of you gone out recently into the night sky and looked up at the stars and pondered your own insignificance? Yeah. No.

For the sake of this intro, I'll say yes. Yeah, I've watched Cosmos. Does that count? That's better, because it's like that, but you're looking at your TV. I can't see stars in New York. That's true. So I want to tell you about the world of aliens that's among us, but it's something that we've all been too dumb and ignorant to really open our eyes up to.

Now, we've dealt with a little bit of alien material in the past, but that was literally four years ago. So, you know, it's time. And we're going to start off at a site here called alien-ufos.com, which must have been a very frustrating day on GoDaddy for that person. Alien spaceship. Fuck! Anyway, alien-ufos.com.

That's what we're starting off here. It's a big forum. They've got, let's see, 58,570 threads with over a million posts. It's a popular place. So we're going to start off with this thread, which might as well be called

F Plus Bait. It is called The Gay and Alien Connection? You know what, Stuart? I like you. I like the other people here in this trailer park. So,

I think, Adam, start us off here. You're CSCC. Okay. And CSCC, where are you located? Tacoma, Washington, USA, on a boat. Oh, okay. Wow. Off the coast of Tacoma, Washington, USA. On a boat. Oh, wow. Off the coast of Tacoma, Washington.

Just in case you thought I had any sense of respectability. No, no, no. The boat's parked in his driveway. He's just on top of it. Oh! All right, well, what's your thread here? The gay and alien connection? What's your threat here?

The gay and alien connection? Is there any evidence of a connection between the aliens and the gay movement? Or gays in general? Are gays in more danger of alien abduction or have more close encounters? Well, this may be... What? No, I'm just... Are you trying to be a writer for Fox News?

Um, I already am. Oh, okay. That's where you picked up your style guide. Um, hum. While this may be a highly controversial thread and there could erupt

some anti-slash-pro-gay responses, I think the questions have merit, and I am interested in any research or statistical figures anyone may have. Um, let me... Alien face. Alien smiley face. I mean, when I think of these people on the alien and UFO forums, they're really certainly interested in research and statistics.

Yeah, I'm sure this is going to be hard data here. Boots, you're memory bomber. I'm memory bomber. By the way, Lee Max says that he's never heard of any gays abducted. So there's proof right there. Thanks, Lee Max. Yeah, I'm Memory Bomber, and I'm a light minute. What's your avatar there?

Oh, it's the Unabomber. Yep. It's the Unabomber sketch. But for your memory. Self-portrait. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have much evidence yet of what you're hypothesizing. And this may open a can of worms, but from stories I've been getting,

it seems that people are being hypnotized to be gay. Sounds crazy. He must have downloaded that video of the woman's tits. You like the titties, you like the dick! Sounds crazy. you like the titties you like the dick sounds crazy and and like i said i've just begun my journey on collecting the data but so far every gay i am aware of who has made themselves remember everything they consciously wanted to know has come to the conclusion that they were never gay only under mind control. And now I will get my

body armor on. What? That's every gay he's aware of. Every gay he's aware of who has made themselves go through a procedure designed to basically make them think that they weren't gay thinks that they weren't gay.

Where does this alien investigator get his facts? Memory Bomber's research is that he's been going around fucking men and then saying, So how do you feel about it now? I wish I was never gay! Frank West, you are Freya. You're a sexy lady. Yes, I am. Is that... What is that?

Is that like a Disney princess falling in love with an alien? Yes. Reading a book? Yep, I think that's... That's an ice avatar? I'm Freya. I'm Rey the Grey Tamer. You're that as well.

My location is over the hills and far away. Yay! We're friendly in the realm of reality to start this post. I've not heard of gay abductions either. However, there was something about virgin females that

grays seem to like. I don't know how prominent it is. It was just something a few had said offhandedly to me. Oh, wait. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was personally acquainted with these greys. Oh, you tamed them. And like sitting in

conversations where they're just kind of like just chatting around. It's like, hey, aliens, fucking virgins, huh? It's like, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, it was this girl. You know, she's a virgin. I mean, I like that sort of thing. These are just things I overheard at the plasma cooler.

They said it was easier to track things that way. Anyway, I don't know if this would be of interest, therefore, in gay individuals to aliens. I don't know. It would be interesting to hear more on the topic. You want more on the topic, huh? More. All right, we can give you more on this topic. Lou, page three here has CrashB92.

He's a dimensional being. His avatar is a motivational poster on telekinesis. Alright. In response to Memory Bomber, enough with the hypnotized stuff already. Care to convince me that hypnotize solves all

problem? Ha, think again. Why use trance state for something that is just ordering subconscious mind to remember while we should look for the future? Is that right? Yep. Maybe. And you may or may not have noticed that people who are aware of abductions and aliens don't get abducted because they already know what's happening. And Nicola's reply made no sense to you

because you're hypnotizing asterisks. Is it? It's a rule. Don't solve problems or make sense. So I am going to make this as simple as eating a cake as bright as day.

Okay. Simple as eating a cake. I hate the new Green Lantern. That's a really bright cake. Enjoy the plutonium cake. Do not stare directly into the cake. Hypnotizing isn't the key to the door of knowledge. Nuff said.

No, absolutely not. No, staring at the alien with the eye on it on the dollar bill, that'll do it. So, back to the threat, shall we? First of all, no one is a quote-unquote gay on Earth. All right. Oh, well, okay. But I saw one this morning!

You might have not been on Earth then, motherfucker! And everyone has character and no, Grey's has nothing to do with being a quote-unquote gay. Brackets, not because gay and grey sound similar, but it means

there is a connection. Winking, animated winking emoticon. No one on Earth is gay. Okay. on Earth is gay. Guys, the evidence just speaks for itself.

Fuck it, I already printed an FF Plus t-shirt. Page seven here. This is OLP. And Jack, check if you'll take this, please. Okay. So my name is OLP. I am apparently a light-year form voyager. My avatar is of an Ewok.

No intention of insult, rather a hypothesis. This gay observation would fit to the theory that greys have lost their ability to reproduce due to various reasons. When a gay man is attracted by fuck another gay man, then apparently there is no intention of reproduction. At least you can expect attracted by fuck another gay man, then apparently there is no intention of reproduction.

At least you can't expect to reproduce fuck another gay. So when these... What are either of those fucks supposed to be? It's seven letters long. Asshole. Asshole? Attracted by asshole another gay man You can't expect to reproduce

When a gay man is attracted by asshole Anyway So when these greys observe that those That are still interested in reproduction Heterostyle Yum I love getting heterostyle fries I did an outburger

Let's do it heterostyle That's my next R&B single. Then part of their study might as well include to examine those that are not so interested in reproducing by choosing the same gender for sexual intercourse. I said hypothesis because I do not know what the intention in Fuck Another Man is. Reproduction can't be the intention there is. Why are you guys doing that, huh?

What's the deal what's all the fuzz what are you even going for when i'm having sex with another man i'm always asking what is the intention here what is happening why are you pounding my asshole why in the ass i'm always, why are we going in this relationship? Why 10 times? I feel like those asterisks actually just stand for fucking. You're probably right. Oh, okay.

I agree. Interacted by fucking another gay man, reproduce fucking another... Okay, yeah, alright. Where's my fucking... Understanding the intention why heteros and homos have sex could be an important part in their studies. Beep boop. Can I just ask a question? Like, is, fess up, is this forum just like auto-generated?

A great experiment. I'm going to reveal something to you. The entire internet has been auto-generated. Oh no! You've been the only person on the internet this whole time! Oh my god, it's like the truman show but saturn all right um i like that i like the implication that gay people are so confusing even aliens can't figure it out just we had to travel millions of light years to just

hey these guys are guys are doing it with each other. I think it's worth the trick. I like that this next guy scolds him and says, you know, you can just call it sex. Just saying. No, it's trophy! And his reply is, yes, there's a variety of synonyms.

Great. And then the next guy makes fun of him. Alright, that's enough of that. Have you ever thought about how UFOs are powered? Because I have. My name's King of Sharts. Oh, good. Great.

So, if you want to shart in my kingdom, you must pay the toll. You need the proper licensing. Yeah. So, thoughts of how UFOs are powered? Okay. I have always found it interesting that pretty

much every single UFO story talks about the object making no noise at all. That, to me, suggests that it must be powered using magnetism. I just can't think of anything else that makes no

noise. Considering that they are able to change direction and fly at thousands of miles per hour, because that's enough, and inertia isn't an issue, well, it just seems impossible to use conventional propulsion fuel perhaps the magnetism dampens inertia or something i recall one man who was a very private

person edward leedskeldnan who built coral castle completely his own, using nothing more than a basic winch. Some of the stones weighed... I'm certainly probably going to get there. Some of the stones weighed several tons. He never revealed his secrets to anyone, although some teenagers witnessed him moving stones, quote, like helium balloons, end quote. He also believed to have said he knew the secrets of the Egyptians. Perhaps he knew the secrets of labor?

I was like, yeah. Hummus recipe. Ancient Egyptian secret, huh? A secret is a violation of human rights. Lemon juice. Oh, yeah. What was I?

Oh, yeah. So perhaps he knew the secrets of magnetism. Perhaps not. That's an intriguing story. And then Spearchucker, next one down. He has a response. Good. I think Boots, go for this one, next one down. He has a response. I think Boots, go for this one, please. Sure.

I'm Spearchucker. Sure are. Yeah, bird food, wind, piston motors, jet motors, rocket motors, electric motors. Agreed. Rocket motors. Electric motors. Agreed. Gravitation and mass ESP for downness or rotation around various heavenly structures.

Okay, good. Uh-huh. I'm with you. Where does this hovercraft get its downness from? Hmm? Nothing, sorry. Yeah. Helium or hot air sometimes for upness. Okay.

Hot air spacecraft. Upness. Hot air spacecraft. Luminescence. Imagination mixed with perception. Movements of observer. Some other stuff. Okay, so

what was he trying to communicate at all? I think that was... He just read the title, like, how do UFOs move? And so he just started listing them. Bird food. Wind. I don't know. This is my Allen Ginsberg poem.

Bird food. Bird food. Number one answer, bird food. Bird food. Number one, bird food. Also motors. Powered by bird food, presumably number one bird food also motors powered by bird food presumably wind piston motors i just want to hear the uh whoever's like driving the ship that is powered by gravitation and mass esp for controlling the downness

presumably there's got to be a gauge increase the downness mass ESP for downness engage helium for upness your downness is too high lower your downness we're moving around to have a new structure it does sound like it in directions in that game space team

yes and Frank West you're Pepe on page two there. I sure am. There he is. I'm Pepe. I'm an astronomical unit forum voyager. They arrive as light

and are invisible to the mind. Help me. He wants out of the forum, right? That's actually the description of the posts on this forum. We're invisible to the mind. All right. So then, oh, by the way, I forgot to mention it until now, but this document was put together by Caroline,

who is really just cranking out a lot of them. We were actually deciding between two different Caroline docs for this reading. So thank you for this. And also thank you for starting off with this stuff. And then your fingers go, I wonder where the poetry is. Well, here's where the poetry is. This thread is called Alien Poetry. And people are now using their own

photos as their avatars, so that's good. But we're gonna start out with David Zero in the Alien Poetry thread. And Lou, if you'll take this, please. Where is this? David Zero.

What makes you think that anybody has it be the Rostislav what's the Rostislav oh here it is I see it David Zero Earth Radius location Lisboa or whatever that is poem

I had sex with an alien once. Yay! She was a gorgeous looking woman from Cygnus 5. Her extra hands were handy. After the joyous hours of intercourse, I had a ciggy. Great. As I was getting dressed, she tells me, Oh, darling, I think I am in love can i visit you

again and i said no way woman and that was that tinny jerry blossoms up the stream is that last i think the last time he's like wait shit this isn't poemy enough people talk about sherry blossoms a lot in poems, right? Yeah. I think that he sort of glossed over what would be the interesting details of this. You want to hear about my ciggy, right? Frank West, on page three there, Martians Away?

Martians Away. Martians Away! Yes. Underneath many a moon aliens hide, sometimes from view. Many are friendly at best. Things they do,

wandering the rest. I know. They are here, hiding away. Living secretly under somewhere. That's not even close. hiding away, living secretly under somewhere. Someplace? That's not even close. I know they're here, I just don't know where they are.

Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, you're Ranruss. Asking these questions seems questionably outrageous. But the possibilities throughout the universe I believe alien species are numerous. Where on earth are they hiding now? Galaxies afar or secretly undetected

somewhere where they're. He was abducted in the very middle of it. Last edited by Martians Away. Reason? Mistake. And yet the poem is still there. Oh, thanks you for fixing that. That would have been embarrassing.

Undetected somewhere, we're there. Bob E. says, Me like lots! Clap, clap, clap, clap. I'm surprised they aren't using the alien emoticon more, I'm gonna be honest. Alright, this next thread we're going back to, I should say

we're going back to poetry. That will not be our only poetry outing. We will be back there. But first we need to deal with some alien UFO advice. These people, you know, they've walked a mile in their shoes and then they've

not walked because they had a beam that kidnapped them. And so they've got advice to give. Advice like this. How to deal with gullible people? Okay. My name's Falakius. And how to deal with gullible people? Unfortunately, there are some people who believe anything E.T. related.

Ain't that just the way. Without considering the possibility of it being untrue. I know. I know. So, although some E.T. I know. So, although some ET reports may be true, it has been showed that people do lie about things. Oh my god, what?

No. That would be a good graph. And there are people who like to pull pranks by creating hoaxes. So I'm wondering, what can be done to help these people stop being so gullible?

Delete your accounts? So is this the sticky on the main thread of how to use the site? What? What'd you say? Jack? Oh my god, the aliens got him. Oh my god. Quick, write a poem about it

I like that this This question is just wondering what we can do to help them And the next answer is ignore them Alright then And then this response here On page three is by Alienamong And Bootsy will take that Yeah, oh This response here on page 3 is by Alienamong.

Bootsy, you'll take that? Yeah. Oh. A-L-E-I. Wow. Alienamong. Yep. Gigameter.

Alien. New York City. Alienamong. Anyway, let them believe what they want, just like you should let the control freak anal debunker be anal. Maybe just let an anal debunker be anal. Man, anal debunker's gonna be anal.

Yeah, anal debunker hater's gonna hate. And then, Lou, your star power. Star power number 28. I see. IDK. I have seen gullibility in other ways as well. People believing everything someone else tells them on the internet. Two.

I cannot be anyone's savior in that regard. I have an open mind. And I will investigate anything like a detective. Some things like thinking I saw a shadow person or ghost or something. I cannot explain either, but I'm still very scientific in thought. You should probably see a doctor. You're leaking ellipses. He said his mind was open.

I try to keep my mind open to it being something else. Like orbs, for example. On ghost shows. People think they are spirits. I get those too in many photographs and I think it is moisture in the air just playing with light at any rate

things seem very sad to me lately about lots of things they seem sad to me about lots of things I cannot do anyone else's thinking for them I

can barely do my own. You're honest. Definitely true. There's no responses to this one, but I just wanted to very briefly. There's a thread entitled, how do I get abducted? And he says in my biz post, I will not state my reasons. We know your reasons.

We know. Lemmon, can you read Immortal Legend 527 on the end of this page here? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not the point that they are gullible! It's the point that they have been programmed.

Are programmed. And from our calculations can never be disprogrammed. It's sad. Dread's really big on ellipses

Okay This next one is called Have you been pranked by aliens? Does anyone have any funny alien pranks? Has anybody ended up on alien punked? Alright So So And someone posted one example of how it goes.

When I asked them one of their blondes, if they wanted my sample, they putted a blonde artificial head in the head of a gray and putted him inside of a spacecraft saying they would send me him. Then made me see the image of my wedding with the gray and a white dress. Too funny! Anyone else get pranked by aliens? No, but I have done shrooms. Oh, I've done a lot of shrooms

myself! They don't have any effect anymore! Jesus, what the fuck? And then, uh, SC... SCPool1986. Jackcheck, that's you, please.

Okay. Number eight? Yep. Scapool. Alright. Not sure if you could call it a prank or not, but I've been returned to between my front doors. Both of them locked,

so I ended up spending the night between them in the front porch area. It was like they couldn't tell I couldn't get out of that part of the house and into the main area. That sounds like a good prank. Was this aliens or your friends after you were drinking for the night?

Like, fuck him. Unlock his front door, leave him in the mud room. What's more likely? That aliens abducted this guy or this guy has friends? On page two, zero with an X. Adam, take that, please. Not pranked as such, but one time they held a birthday party for me

in one of their chill-out rooms. I can remember telling them it was my birthday. Yeah, it was at Burning Man. I can remember telling them it was my birthday and they were out of line to abduct people on special days like birthdays

get to the back of the line to abduct people you can't do this to me it's my birthday so they shut me down and when I woke up they had me seated in front of this big cake with lit candles. They all sang happy birthday to me, and at the end of the singing, they all stood there with the stupid grins on their faces,

waiting in expectation for me to blow out the candles. My response was to raise my arm and bring my clenched fist right down on top of that cake with a lot of force So it would splatter all over the place That'll show them It worked It worked It worked

No one ever threw me a party again Yeah It was aliens But it went to a lot of effort to make that cake. It worked. A few of them got splattered. I thought it was hilarious, but I was the only one laughing. I would imagine why.

And mom took me to have my dosage reevaluated. I've experienced a few more moments that were fairly comical, but I need a few hours, Kip, so I'll post them within a few days. No problem. I can give you a few hours. Go to page three, and then on post 22, Zero recalls some more funny moments, and he himself puts funny in quotes.

Good lord. Great. Oh, boy. Thanks for doing the work. Oh, boy. Okay. Yeah, you're gonna be skipping some of that. Okay, alright. Tell me what to skip. Yeah, keep going. Here are some more funny moments. The first time I was abducted, I was carrying a portion of fried chips. Fries.

Oh, thanks. I had brought them for my mother. For my mother. And here in Britain, we usually have our chips with a piece of fried fish such as cod. But in this case I only had the chips. Oh my god! What is this fish and chips of which you are speaking?

Look, I don't know if you... I bought it in a store and I paid money. Now let me explain money to you. During the abduction one of the ETs took two samples of the chips and put them in beakers. Many years later, I'm abducted again

and I'm with one of the male ETs who seemed to have some respect for me. Gave you a little nod. We generally got along and would sit with me after the primary purpose for the abduction and had taken place and act as a bodyguard so that the others couldn't abuse me. What?

Apparently I was abducted by alien pirates. Yes. I'm in a semi-conscious stupor, so I'm coming out with all sorts of crap, and I start going on about my first abduction, and how they owe me some chips with a piece of fish. He accuses me of lying and states that there was no fish. But because I'm in La La Land, I insist that there was a fish, and that his people now owe me a fish.

Anyhow, I'm shut down again, and when I come around, he's sitting opposite to me with a few sheets of open newspaper in his lap, and the newspaper sheets have something heavy lying on top of them. He's looking down at whatever it is that's in the newspaper with a confused look on his face. I'm now completely

conscious, and I ask what he is doing, and with that, he gets up and throws the newspaper in my lap, and I look down to see that there's a fresh trout in the newspaper! He then stomps out of the room, but stops for a moment to turn around and give me a

dirty look, which made me laugh. It was bizarre. And then there's a few more paragraphs, but paragraph number three contains the word kickboxing, so we should probably take that one. Paragraph three, I came around? Yes. I came around one time to find a big lab robot right in front of me.

I believe it had been doing some work on my body, but what it had been doing, I don't know. I was stood up, and the robot was directly in front of me, but turned to one side. What? its body suddenly spun around and its big arms forced a pincer shape. My instinct was to kick out the robot. Kick out at the robot. Which is what I did. Then I put him in a suplex. My first instinct was to kick out at the robot, which is what I did.

I used to do kickboxing. I had to hold my punches because otherwise I'd kill him. I could blow a hole in the hole with my fists. Do kickboxing. That's the proper term for that. And I caught it square on the trunk of its body. The robot flew across the lab like a beach ball,

which was a shock to me as it looked so heavy. And I don't know this lump of scrap is more than agile enough to ambush a human, but the bloody thing crashed over those benches. Like it had hit, like I had hit it with a car. The ETs were as pissed as a hook. And with that,

I had, sorry. And with what I had done, but I had got to do my And with what I had done, but I had got to do my impression of Rocky Balboa dancing on those steps with his arms in the air, so I was happy enough. That sounds like a story that happened. Oh, shit, did I forget to mention

that all this happened in Mortal Kombat? On the stage at the top of the steps in front of the Philadelphia Art Museum. Yeah. Which they had also abducted. Yeah, but the steps are all creepy. Dave, do you think aliens have pastimes? No, I don't think so.

Well, Frank West thinks that aliens have pastimes. I certainly do. And you're C-3K. C-3K. C-3 business. I certainly do. And your C3K. Seek. C3K. Something like that. C3K. From Warwickshire, UK,

which sounds made up. Well, that's pronounced Warwickshire. No, it's pronounced Wuh. Probably. Wuh. Wuh.

Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh.

Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh.

Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh.

Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh.

Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh.. Wuh.. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh. Wuh-sh-sh-sh-sh. Wuh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh. There we go. There we go.

That's pretty jackass, ain't it? This is part serious and part tongue-in-cheek, if that's possible. But recently, I've been wondering what ETs might do in their spare time. I know what I'm about to list are all based on what humans do in a modern human society, and that some aliens may not even be humanoid. But I think I will waste my time anyway. Oh, wait, am I signed into alienufos.com? Yeah, I guess I'm wasting my time!

I know this is all bullshit, but look at the forum we're on. I guess I could include questions on politics, education, and employment, but I was thinking more along the lines of everyday things relating to what we consider to be pastimes, hobbies, and sport. Alright. One, do aliens have the equivalent of

sport? Two, are there any alien photographers that keep photos in an album, share with their friends, or enter competitions? Three, do aliens need to keep fit, lose weight? Four, is lying on a beach getting a suntan a popular pastime amongst aliens? How does your brain work? What are the four things that people do? Let's see.

Play sports. Take photos. Eat food. Lie down. Well, he had to come up with at least four examples before he got to his example of what he spends all his time with, number five. I wonder if aliens have the equivalent

of online forums where they can exchange views and speculate on various issues. Yeah, they spend all their time on notaliens.com. We call them terrestrials. Do aliens have a sense of humor? Or crack jokes?

Cracking wise? Do aliens crack wise? Do aliens congreg a sense of humor? Or crack jokes? Cracking wise? Do aliens crack wise? Do aliens congregate in public places to watch movies, protest march, or go on rambles? What? You know, a fun Saturday night out! Well, like, I thought, I go out in public places and ramble. That's normal. Yeah, but I thought that was a solitary activity.

Congregating and going on a ramble is migrating. These might seem stupid, dumb questions. No such thing on Earth. But I just can't get my head around what aliens might do on a day-to-day basis, or how alien societies might work. If indeed they have societies. Especially if they were the non-human, interdimensional, morphing type. Confused face. Yeah, confused face. Why can't they just morph into an alien that has a suntan instead of sitting out in the sun?

Because they lose the experience, you know? It's a hand-crafted tan, which is more interesting. Looking forward to some incisive comments. Good luck with that one. Looking forward to that. Jack, check your binks with two X's.

Yeah, I am. Well, that's interesting and amusing! I never thought of that before. Maybe they're like the movie Paul, where they act silly and dance and smoke cigarettes. If they were like Paul, that would be neat, but I bet they've been their time down eating cats and cows and looking for women to experiment on. Trying to return to Melmac. Yeah. We both got there.

Good job, us. Yay. We're alive. Something, something, Gordon Shumway. I always wonder where these missing person S are. There are so many that just disappear, space period. Wait, I'm sorry. In the middle of the joking, did we fast forward to something other thought, like what happened there?

No. Nope. That's how his brain works. Okay. Oh shit, were you done? Yeah, he's done. Oh fuck. I'm so confused.

Alright, here is the first post in this thread which has been Bold Comic Sans. So that means read me. I am Alien Ambassador. Oh my gosh. And I have a Yahoo profile. Okay, here we go. Do you believe

interdimensional slash otherworldly love is possible? Oh no. Okay, what do you guys think? I was just raping the replay button on Katy Perry's ET video, Love Her. That's a shitty word choice I just had.

That is the worst way to say that I've been listening to a song over and over. Oh, yeah. I wasn't shoving the song into my ear. Anyway, anywho, when I used that, I was thinking, it's all about her being an alien And falling in love with a human Do you believe it's possible For beings from other dimensions and worlds

To fall in love with humans I mean, we can't be the only race With emotions, plus Katie was the sexiest alien ever Next to Anna from V-Law Oh boy What the hell is that This V next to Anna from V-Law. Oh, boy. What the hell is that? This...

V? V? V. V is the show... The Visitors. It was the show where the men got pregnant. I remember that. Well, the original series was way better

than the second series remake. Oh! Don't you remember the Freddy Krueger guy was the friendly alien? Anyway. Sorry. The beard episode is next week. And then on page three, Adam, you're

just in case. The Bible has episodes where the gods took human wives and mated with the humans. The Greek slash Roman god religions had the same. Which episode of the Bible was that? It's the remake.

Yeah, the remake in third season of the remake of the Bible. Oh, okay. Sidebar spin-off. Yeah, the Roman slash Greek religions had the same. I would imagine that many of the big religions do as well. And I would suggest that gods in these religions are aliens. Okay. To answer your question, history tells us yes.

Yes. Why did you start with all that other boring shit? us yes so you know I said aliens are to have sex with it well gods are aliens I mean, the evidence adds up. Yeah, well, hi there. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm JMC. Okay. I love my gray. I love my gray. I want him to come back and enjoy the ride. Ooh! But seriously, I want him to come back.

I give up on human men. Oh, sure. Will he be allowed to see me more? No, I'm not kidding. Don't judge my love. It's worth noting that the first sentence there was a separate post. Then she came back ten minutes later and was like, serious. Seriously, I put aliens in my post. Wait, she's from Los Angeles?

What? Then Frank West, your flight? What's so great about the gray that doesn't apply to human men? Yeah! Hashtag! Hashtag not all aliens. I keep hearing grays are emotionally dead. And then JMC, your response to that? Yeah, in response to what is

wrong with human men, that question would take too long to answer. I have abilities which make it hard to be around people at times. To put it in a nutshell. She has fart problems.

Yeah, she's talking about the stench. The fight continues on page four. Flight, you're back. Oh boy. True first abductions. I was more curious to know what was better about the gray. Well, he's almost seven feet tall. If you don't understand, can't help you there.

Smiley. Flight skip down to 37, please. So aliens have huge dongs. Yeah, the height, yeah. So dongs. If this is one of those sexual things, height doesn't dictate much in the bedroom. Whoa. Is this one of those

sex things? I've heard about these. The post is titled Do You Believe Interdimensional Slash Otherworldly Love Is Possible? And I was talking about raping Katy Perry. But is this one of those sex things? Although studies show

that really tall guys are more likely to be married because women expect them to be the best protectors so there's that i guess lol so there's that lol is the end of a sentence um on the internet it kind of is yeah it's a punctuation. Yeah, instead of stop, like on telegrams, it's lol. 40 men died. Lol. Lol. Send supplies immediately. Lol.

And then JMC finished this up. Yeah. How old are you? Maybe it's an American inside joke. Size doesn't matter, but it sure helps human men. It was just something I noticed, since you can't help but notice. It's not like you took me out to a movie first. I just woke up and surprise, there's an alien in my room about to get freaky.

So it was right. Sounds ridiculous, but so was George Bush getting elected, and it happened. Jesus. Good. Wow. I didn't realize that George Bush said we weren't reading the poetry thread right now.

Why, because that was such a slam? It was beautiful. I'll leave it ambiguous as to which George Bush I'm talking about. Sure, why not? Whatever. All right. So this is Close Encounters of the Best Kind. Oh, no.

Yeah. All right. Close Encounters of the Best Kind. Great. And Lou, you're going to start off with Jabberwocky. Oh, God. Oh, Jabberwocky, Earth Radius, location Australia. Last night I got a call from the great man himself,

John Frum of Alien Agenda's family. Oh! Hey. No, you didn't. I did too. It turns out he'd received a request to meet some first-time travelers to our solar system. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't make it and requested if I could take his place. So rather than heading off to work like I normally do each day, I went to the designated place and waited.

This is like a casino bus for space. I have to go meet the alien ambassadors. Yeah, someone take my shift at Subway. I was just about to give up thinking the travelers had forgotten or had a better place to go. I can't imagine they would have a better place than to hang out with me. I heard the hum of the non-nuclear powered runabout craft. It was very hard to distinguish because of the design features of the exterior of the craft, which allows it to blend in with the surroundings. Not so dissimilar to a chameleon.

Moments later, the craft landed and I was very surprised at what emerged. Even a little anxious. As it turned out, there was no need to be. Each crew member appeared to be of a different race. The one that gave me the most concern was Jim, a curious female of mixed race. Her skin was similar to a human's except that it was slightly segmented, a bit like a reptile. More about this later.

Sure, I'm looking forward to it. These travelers have no home planet, and do enjoy, and enjoy doing the intergalactic tourist bit. Thankfully, I'd remembered a great man's instructions. Bring along plenty of food. After treating them to an Australian-style barbecue, which took quite a few hours, we talked about the racial makeup of the crew.

As they have no home planet, crew members can get on and off where they please. I was quite tempted to go along, but decided against it because I had to work at Subway the next day. Thus, crew members intermingle, have sex and babies, of course, leading to a crew of quote-unquote hybrids, or in a current parlance, a melting pot of ethnicity and fusion of cultures. Jim appeared to be the most different to my eyes and she said she was comprised of about six distinguishable races and that she was predominantly

querian. After we had... What did you call me? After we had a group sex session then left. That's why you bring food.

Then they left, promising to return in a few days. As soon as they left, I went to Frumbo's house. Describe the Kurian. John hypnotized me in hope of getting more details and has promised a painting. Oh, hypnotism is not the... Oh my God. Something or other. promised a painting.

Oh, hypnotism is not the law of the something or other. I wonder if the Aquarian might somehow be responsible for the belief in a reptilian race. Oh, I wonder that too. Perhaps you will be able to comment once

John Frum completes and publishes said painting. Alien terrifying gif or what is that? This terrible face. You know, it's a roll your own alien smiley. I is that? This terrible face. It's a roll-your-own alien smiley. I guess so. Tidy square.

So, what would you like on your footlong? I tell the story to everyone that comes through. And then, Frank, you're Asura from the Ukraine, number 10. Yes. Yes. Uh, yes. Why would they be sterile if they're having kids with each other?

Wouldn't that be like calling them mules? I mean, I know you said that members come and go, so the crew alters, but of the ones who have been on the ship for a while and may have had kids, or are CrossFeed second-gen crew members, wouldn't that mean that their cross-rating is for naught other than physical satisfaction? Or just contradictory to the sterile ideal? Haven't you ever heard of anchor babies?

Some of them are sterile. Others aren't. Remember, yesterday was a chance for the aliens to experience some haute cuisine from Australia. Knocked up at the last moment. This lasted about two hours. The porking session lasted about the same.

This conversational session only lasted about three hours. They had as many questions as I did, which means that you don't really get to cover much depth. I guess there are about 350 crew on this alien-gypsy caravan of the universe. He fucked 350 aliens at once? Hell yeah! Only about 20 of those are juveniles. It would seem that the young crew aren't as interested in the more mature aliens and get off where it suits them.

Quite often, that means mom and dad do as well. Apparently, the caravan tries to come back every ten years to see if they wish to continue the journey. This naturally slows the progress of the travelers throughout the universe. Yesterday was more of a social interaction rather than one of

study. If you think I'm gross, you should meet the aliens. Frank Asura? The kids were just masturbating in the corner. Do you want cheese on that meatball? I left ten minutes ago! What are you talking about? And you're fully

conscious during these meetings? No mind control? No REM sleep stage widgets or anything? And why don't they come here? An iris shape? You mean you porked an alien that looks like a flower? Yeah, dog!

I'm just noticing that a few of the details in your gigantic alien orgy storage aren't connecting right. Connecting, right? And then, Lou, you have a response to that. Okay. Number 17. Okay.

I hope I'm fully conscious. I had to drive over 45 minutes to get to the meeting point. What do you mean, why don't they come here? Are you talking about your house or something? They do come here, here being down the road from my place. Not porking aliens that look like flowers.

I'm talking about the iris of the eye. Some of these good folks have eyes with an iris more similar to a cat or goat. I do expect a raft of jokes from that comment. However, it really is a thrill getting a shiny top from some Sheila from another planet. Another raft of jokes.

I often use the term shiny top for having sex. Thank you for term shiny top. Thank you for the shiny top. And then the jack chick at the bottom, EBE. I bet Jim looks hot in red stilettos, fishnets, caked on red lipstick. Ooh, baby! Yeah! Okay.

We're going to be leaving this site in just a minute, but before we leave this site, before we leave alien-ufos.com, we need to read this thread here. This is called, One of my missions is done, so far as I know. This is Adam. You are GVK.

You're a gigameter. GVK. Destructions before even Earth. One mission. That's the acronym for Bible. What? Sorry. What?

I'm sorry. Okay. I apologize. Derailed my own podcast. Yeah. Good job. Sorry. What? I'm sorry. Okay. I apologize. Derailed my own podcast. Yeah. Good job. Sorry. You ready?

Yeah. One mission of every... Sorry. One mission of every male human on planet Earth who get abducted by the grey slash Zetas is making a genetic manipulated grey alien or a kind of

hybrid pregnant! Okay. This part sounds crazy. Oh no! Can you highlight the part that sounds crazy? Let's get it out of the way. To make a alien hybrid pregnant,

you are going through a couple of nights getting abducted. The probe is real, because that way they reach your prostate to charge your hormones a little bit. And that infects also your dana, more than it used to do without. This happens also being a kid. Oh, gross. And that infects also your Dana, more than it used to do without. This happens also being a kid.

Oh, gross. Oh. Uh-huh. Also, they genetic manipulate your balls in your sack a bit. Because you have to make an alien pregnant. So they actually changing your sperm a little bit so you can have children with a genetic manipulated gray alien. The next day

after that, you feel a horrible pain in your ball sack. Two balls hurts a lot to then. What? Oh, if this was just one ball, it would feel fine. Then you know it had happened. Some people remember

how it, some people remember how they did it with a grey alien or hybrid or human looking grey. Some people don't but they do remember pain in their ball sack after waking up. If you have that you know your balls are changed

for a while. So did happen that with me. Okay. But I remember a gray slash hybrid slash human alien took away my virginity. The next day, I can feel it. Jesus. She took it away. It's the alien's fault that I'm so fucked up in the head. I'm pretty sure you still got it. Jesus. She took it away. It's the alien's fault that I'm so fucked up in the head.

I'm pretty sure you still got it. I could feel I did it for the first time the whole day because the top of my... We're feeling strange. Because maybe my thing had prefer a human... God damn it. Than an alien her... Anyway, it was nice. And I remember a little part of it.

What the fuck? A small smell... No, sorry. A small, small part. Because when I started, they tried to let me forget everything because they wanted me to have normal experiences with a girl.

Yeah, yeah. Can we get the fourth last word of that sentence again? Because they wanted me to have normal experiences with a girl. Experiences. To have normal experience-es with a girl. Sure they did. Experience-es.

You didn't fuck up the subject at all, did you? No. No. But the three to six times I did it with them made me having enough. Somewhere in there. Three or twice that. I don't know. Wow.

First time. Made me having enough talent from nature making me a pro. Because people didn't believe it, I did it for the first time when I did that in real. And the second time and third time, they thought I was a pro advanced baller. So. So... So you'd recommend

getting abducted? Yeah. I guess. Thank you to the Greys. Thank the Greys for my talent from nature. I got a question about your DNA. Um-hum.

Is your DNA different at all? What do you mean? I'm just wondering, is your DNA different as far as you know? Also, my DNA is different so far I know, plus my temperature is an average 34, 35 Celsius instead of 37, 38. Am I a kind of human with alien genes?

All right. Am I? Genes. Am I a kind of human with alien genes? I mean, sure. Yeah, maybe. I mean, if it makes you feel better, fuck it. You're a human alien.

I am three degrees colder. Per gene shallot. I'm three degrees colder. Part Jean Shallot. I'm three degrees colder, and I'm really good at sex. Alien. All right, so we are leaving alien-UFO. No. What about Keylogger? The first thing Keylogger says, somebody.

Okay. Check, check, Keylogger, please. Well, that explains how Jesus was born. Sure. 34 to 35 degrees is normal. Under 35 degrees, you have no power and pretty much can't move much. Also, the feeling you could have had is called a wet dream. Try to put cameras around your house and backyard.

That advice from a man named Keylogger. That's quite a wet dream. Just so you know, I'm a creep. And then, Boots, you're the hazard. Yeah. Man, I thought I was smoking way too much pot.

Glad to hear my blue balls are not the result of my wife's knee, but rather alien rape. Makes me sleep a lot better at night. What? So this pot smoker gets kneed in the nuts by his wife a lot, huh?

No, it was alien rape. I'm telling people on alien-ufo.com about this. No, honey, I was asleep. I certainly didn't knee you in the balls repeatedly all night. I like this. I'm really surprised. All of these posters are from Australia or Britain.

Right? Have we seen anybody from America yet? There's been a few. Yeah, there's been some Americans. Okay. Okay, I see G-Man. Okay. Yeah, but this is striking.

I feel like this is like an American, like a really American thing, you know what I mean? I did actually, yeah, you would think. I mean, you're expecting sort of southern, rural. But that's Australia, too. Oh, yeah, I guess so. I mean, but they do have that hot cuisine. That's true.

These chefs, what they'll do is they'll take meat, and then they'll make it hot And then they'll give it to you On some sort of barbecue? Anyway We're going to leave this place We're going to leave AlienUFO.com The reason why is that

It's a good reason And that's because Caroline Has also put in the doc We're going to leave alienufo.com. Goodbye. The reason why is that it's a good reason. It's a good reason. And that's because Caroline has also put in the doc a lot of pieces from spaceofjoyce.tripod.com forward slash meeting. Caroline presumably looking through the document, trying to find the poetry. And then after finding the poetry, went, oh, one of these assholes has his own website. And so that's why we're here. So this first poem is called Alien, and Frank West, if you'll take this, please.

Oh, boy. I will when it loads. Yeah, it's a tripod site, so... Oh, my God, it is tripod. Oh, boy. In a big way. That still exists? Apparently.

I can't figure out if this has a gradient or if it's just my eyes. Alien. Here we are. Traveling in our ship. Trying new things. With a certain spear it. Passing planets. That's not okay.

A certain IT spear, maybe. Yes. You don't even need to change that to make it... Are you tired of throwing your own spears? Now try spear it. Wait, so does the spirit throw the spears for me?

Automatically spears fish, animals, human beings. I like to use a spear for all the times in my life that I need to throw a spear. It doesn't come up super often, but that's why I'm not so good at throwing a spear. Stock footage of man with spear through own hand. Passing planets side by side, cruising the universe to where we arrive. Not really, no. No. We received a certain call from a planet that is far.

Not to travel way out there. Ten clicks from the nearest star. That's not very far. Super close. You'd be burned alive. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere too, machines were changing out of the blue.

It was like magic we found a place to land the ship after we fall from a dis-tance. She put two hyphens in front of tance to go like, I know this is wrong. Like, those two hyphens are just, fuck. Okay, here we go. Yeah, it's like somebody transcribed an improvised song. It's like somebody transcribed an improvised song. That's why she put spirit up in the second line,

to lower our expectations when we get down to distance. We crashed, fell hard, and we did fall to a certain world we do not know of. The end. We don't know at all. It's not hard. It's literally set up in a rhyme. Because, yeah, it's not like fell hard and we did not

and we did fall as naturalistic anyway. So clearly you set up a rhyme that you couldn't get anyway. What rhymes with fall? What? Of? That's the only thing I can think of. It's like orange fall. Fall of fall of fall of fall.

I gotta go to work. All right. Jack Chick. This poem is called Human. Because Space of Joyce is human and she needs to be loved. Jack Chick. This poem is called Human. Alrighty. Because Space of Joyce is human and she needs to be loved. Here I am in my own room looking up

at the moon. Not that far away I did see a light shooting somewhat near me. I called my friend on the phone, but I'm afraid to say he wasn't home. Then I got my coat, went out back to investigate that sudden flash of light.

I climbed a little to the site, then saw something that made me want to run in fright. I fell down, but did get up. As they yelled at me, I looked up. They ran toward me,

which made me freak. The only thing I knew to do was yell, then scream. Oh, okay. Human, help me! Synonyms for scream. Again, I don't think there are any. Yell, bellow, scream.

I can't, sorry. Gotta go to work. Just ride it on the bus. I'm off the bus. I gotta go to work. Anyway, what's the next part of your structured poem? Yeah, okay. Tab human, help me.

Tab tab alien, help who? Tab tab human, help me. Tab tab alien Help who? Tab tab human Help me Tab tab alien Help you? Tab tab tab aliens Help us fix our ship Tab tab tab tab

Both alien, human, and alien Tab tab tab tab Tab tab Help Tab tab Tab tab Help Tab, tab, tab, tab. Help! Tab, tab. Tab, tab. There's several more of those.

Help me write this poem. Guys, guys, guys. I'm trying to read here. Tab, tab, tab, tab, tab. Help! Tab, tab, tab, tab, tab. Help! I'm getting thirsty for tab.

Tab, tab, tab, tab. Well, good luck. You're not going to be able to find one. Use them all. Tab, tab, tab, tab, tab. Oh, fuck. Really? The yelling was over. Thank God.

After some time, then we looked at each other for a short time. They told me they were in trouble. If I would help, I agreed and hid them away so they could go to their planet. I'm honestly glad you've given up the rhyming pairs. And some people are afraid to speak in public.

Could you imagine? Some people should be afraid to speak in public. I just imagine somebody reading this as part of poetry class. Like, alright, everybody now let's read their poetry. Can we skip? Can I go last? I can't do it. We have to be nice.

I can't do it. I can't do it. Class dismissed. Class dismissed. I have some really important poetry to share. This is based on something that happened to me. Based on true events. They're done. Later, I did find on the news, the government said it was a weather balloon.

We made a device for calls far away. They left on Saturday. Huh. Alright. The aliens came back and stole back their ship. Made a visit with me and now

they're out back. Yay! Stay, Gus. No rules, just aliens. I don't know about you, but I like it when poems are broken into two parts, so like two different

voices speaking at each other. Do you also like that? I love it. Yes. Great. Lou, do you want to read the part of Human or Alien? Where? I'm not going to tell you.

All right, sure. Tell me first, then I'll give you the link. I will read the part of Alien. All right, you're going to be Alien. I will be Human. So you start us off here. This poem is called... I have no idea!

Maybe this poem is called, There are hundreds of thousands of alien races in our galaxy. We do not know which one may be good or bad. Here is a poem that brings my wishes to hope, then it will come true. I think the poem's called Story... Alright, so you said alien? Yep. Alright, here we go.

So, I'm human. I was lying asleep in my comfy bed when ten aliens were surrounding my bed. I knew for once I should be scared. The aliens had big giant heads. I only wanted to laugh instead. That's when they looked

at me and said, Oi, oi, oi. We're far away from home. We will fear the human race. Never. We will probe and probe and do a dance.

Because we are advanced. Wait, this is from Rocket to Russia by the Ramones, isn't it? No, it's pretty clearly the Exploited. And they beat me so, beat me so at best. Oi! Oh, man, you know,

I thank them for recording that song just so that they could inspire Bono to make fucking disgusting bullshit. Fuck that guy so much! Sorry, that's an aside, but Jesus Christ. What the fuck was that song about? Alright, anyway. Human. You woke me in the middle of the night.

I saw a light and I should be in a fright. It seems I should be rather quiet, but I can't it seems tonight. Alien, we have good intentions we want you to know. We're very far away from our home. We aliens will always know the secrets of the universe we hold. We have weapons. We have guns. Push the button. Then some. Hide from us.

Some will know. Abduction starts fear to come. But I know this very night aliens are something that should not hide. We hold secrets you should not hold because some things are very scary to know threats are out there every day hiding amongst you in every way please reveal yourself this day we want to know you some way some some way, some way, some way afraid, but that will change.

This very change could be today. Who would think we come tonight to find a human who would fight? But we must let you know, scared of the reaction you would pose. So we hide far away, hoping we might meet you someday. Pose a reaction. I woke up in the night to find the aliens hour of sight.

I should know not to say a single word that talk... Whoa! Whoa! Holy God, the thing I'm about to read. I should know not to say a single word that talk did say. Is this poem put together like a mosaic, like one word at a time over a span of months? Absolutely not.

How do you accidentally commit that kind of grammatical crime? At this point, I got to give this rap battle to the aliens. I'm dropping the mic. Space mic. Remember, I should be afraid. The aliens hope that will change. But truly, I am afraid. No shit.

Did I not just say I was hoping to meet you someday? Why are you afraid of me? But truly, I'm afraid. I said it twice. Just like I said, say twice. There are things you should not know. How do you rhyme the word to itself? Not just once, but like right next to each other.

Studying the Puff Daddy school of rhyming. Yeah. Guys, I'm mad at these cats. Because I'm so bad with these cats. What? Guys. I think this lady might be crazy. What?

Every step you take. What? Good. We got one more couplet poem. Oh, I want to be the alien in this one. You want to be the alien? Alright, so you're going to be the alien

and then Adam, you're going to be Sam. Okay. And let him tell us the name of this poem. Oh, sure, I would love to tell you the name of this poem. This poem is called Today is a Historic Day for Earth and Aliens. Have contacted. What does the future have in store for us today? Streaming live here is reporter Sam.

I'm trying to do my Brian Williams voice, I think. Welcome, friend, to planet Earth. Please tell me, have you seen enough? The air smells and the water tastes funny, but the people here are dumb to a button. Dumb to a button. Dumb to a button. Dumb to a button.

Why do you say such a thing as that? Some would lie to a question such as that. Surrounded by the things they love, humans are truly not really dumb. Please remember, I am from a different world, away from all my species' glore. Sleep glore. What the fuck does glore mean? My species' glore. My species, Glorp.

Love your world to a certain point till it leaves you forevermore. What do you... What do you happen to mean, I say? Because your logic is not close to play. After all of that fucking torturous Like at least the syllables Could have matched I mean if you're just putting in words randomly

I think we should call Pete People for the ethical treatment of English This is P Oh No it'd be Pete Oh yeah that's right Pete Sorry P. Oh. No, it'd be Pete. Oh, that's right, Pete. You're right. No, sorry.

Hi. Our world is gone thanks to a fluke. May I please ask, can we have yours? Nope. I am... What? Don't forget. I am afraid to say to everyone, the aliens may not be this dumb.

Let's hope the moon will stay in place, that an invasion is unlikely for Earth's space. And they think we are dumb. Oh, is there a Greek chorus in this poem? Apparently. For three in the species glore. The sirens of dipshit.

What did we learn from all of this, Fplus? Come on. There may be some crazy people on the internet. I didn't realize that previous to just now. Thank god you learned that. It's sort of a fascinating thing, because people have these very specific

opinions of what aliens are, what they're doing, and what their motivation is. But there's not a lot of fighting over that. There might be. Again, a million posts. Yeah, of the stuff that we found, like, you know, people... They don't disagree with each other that much,

really. They do kind of just go like, well, some people say this, and that's it. But because they're not disagreeing and they have such varying opinions, none of them are actually talking with each other. Yeah, most of them are just asking a question and only one or two people

actually put out opinions. It seems like, right? So they're like, do the aliens do this? And they're like, I don't know. Good question. It's like there's some sort of dearth of information about the topic. I don't know. I don't know why.

Why could that be? It's not true. And no one knows. I have learned that words like monsoon, like research has become one of those words that means the opposite of what it used to. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like in the common vernacular,

it just means I barely glanced at this stuff that confirms what I already thought. This BuzzFeed headline says the thing, I think, Facebook. Yeah, it's, I mean, because it sort of, it does follow because it's not, it's not really, I wouldn't call this a hippie community. I mean, definitely, like, you know, there's

those people on this, but this isn't really a hippie community. I think it's a little bit more kind of, like of redneck-y, but it still follows that same general hippie forum idea of just like everyone has unsubstantiated dumb shit to say

and then everyone else in response has their own unsubstantiated dumb shit to say. And they just sort of whizzed together like some sort of Virginia just whizzed together, like some sort of like Virginia highway that just interconnects in 10 lanes. The other thing that,

the other thing that was that I thought was pretty interesting was just like the guy, the guy that was talking about the probe and, and like his sperm being changed and stuff like that. Like, like I definitely do think there's something to like, you are the person that you are. You realize at some point that you like butt stuff and then you have to go

through some sort of like fucking crazy path to like make sense of it. Well, I like this. Oh, path to like make sense of it I guess it was abducted by aliens and they made me like it they changed my sperm or something some people some people like have really vivid dreams and this is what I've learned it's I don't think I've ever had my life changed that much by a dream that vivid, but the human brain is a powerful thing, I guess. A powerfully dumb thing.

A lot of them sound like they came from excuses, like the dude who locked himself between two doors. Honey, did you lock yourself in a nose? I know how this is going to sound. That alien put her phone number in my phone. All those texts.

The aliens are texting me sexy pictures of their underpants. Darling. The website, as always, thfpl.us. Our forum is Ball Pit and F Plus Live. Fuck, that might be over by the time you're listening to this. And after you're done listening to the F Plus, you should go

listen to Lou Reads the Internet for You, a wonderful podcast with just some fucking heartbreaking things. Pleasantries. I will say, I think the Brazzers episode has been one of my favorites.

Yeah, people seem to like that one. I loved opinionated porn fans. Why doesn't she do more reverse cowgirl? I don't understand. She's got a great ass. I don't understand. Her manager should be telling her to do more, don't you think?

And of course, Adam Bozarth, Left Handed Radio. That's lefthandedradio.com. The podcast as well as cartoons and other fun stuff, right? Lots of stuff is being made, and we will see it soon. Right. You could be more coy, but I guess you don't need to. That sounded like a threat. So before we leave, West Before we leave Frank West

If you'll just take this last poem From spaceofjoyce.tripod.com It's called Oh My Oh My Oh My I don't think you linked it to me Oh yes I did Oh wait Fuck The dismount everybody

Damn it Professionalism. We don't need another intro. Fuck it. Oh my, oh my, oh my. Tick tock, clock the tick. All the clocks running amok. Here, around there, then everywhere.

Running clocks among the talks. Stop, I say. Stop, I say stop I say no they say no they wait for a single moment to run away

happy clocks talking the talk tick tock why won't my clock stop my clock is making me run a month goodnight thanks for listening

bye bye bye bye Good night. Thanks for listening. Bye-bye. Bye. Have I been probed? This is very embarrassing to ask. I have been getting a strange feeling in my behind, which feels like somebody has stuck something up there. And I'm not really sure how to explain why I feel this way.