The F Plus - 163: This Beat Is Dope

Episode Date: January 24, 2015

Drugs are expensive. Plus they're dangerous and illegal besides, so it should come as no surprise that there are swaths of people who are looking for alternative ways to get their collective swerve on. And with the sometimes predatory nature of internet marketing, it should also come as no surprise that there is a substantial number of people who try to convince themselves that listening to bleeps and boops in their headphones will totally give them the best trip of their lives. This week, we're looking at i-doser.com, a place on the internet where people can attempt just that. There's a company all too happy to take teenagers' money in exchange for those bleeps and bloops, and a forum full of teenagers who want to write about how high they are. The results are so much fun that the episode ended up over an hour after considerable editing. This week, The F Plus finally finds some jenkem.

I live for drugs. I'm Linux US. Oh god damn it. Breast growth only with sex. I don't know how feasible it is. It's great. Estrogen in your body gets hiked. Party, party, party, party, party, party.

And your boobs get bigger. What if people used it to train Olympians? I'm the White Rabbit. Welcome to the F Plus Podcast. A terrible place for terrible things. Red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. I'm 70 years old.

When I listen to Aphrodisiac alone with a partner, it really works for me slash us. Poor Tex! Listen to this. Oh no, now you're high. Kumquats up! Well, I doubt you can afford it, but I personally like Hand of God because it made my Twilight Sparkle plushie into a real pony for a while. God damn it.

Frank West! We're taking ESP Sound Therapy into a real pony for a while. God damn it. Frank West! We're taking ESP sound therapy to a new level with ESP+. This sequence is best used under complete belief. And lemon. I don't think it works, but it freaking rocks. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hello. Hey, Lemon.

So which one of y'all motherfuckers in this room wants to get high? Yeah. So just boots. All right, that's fine. Just me. Yeah. So just boots. All right, that's fine. Just me. Yeah. Usually. Well, this is cool because, you know, like boots, even though you and me, we aren't in

the same room right now, it's fine because there is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful new product on a website that's advertised with Stock Photography, and it is called iDozer.com. It's all of the super sweet fun of getting high coupled with the delivery device of headphones. What? So, like, the drugs come out of the headphones? Listen, okay, let me just tell you a little bit about iDozer. The website is, you know, I mean, less ugly than some of the other ones that we visited,

so we'll forgive some of the Photoshop mistakes. Oh, it's iDozer. Maybe, sure, it's that too, whatever. There's no i, it's iDooser. Yeah. Maybe. Sure. It's that too. Whatever. There's no i. iDoser. So you're asking me, you're asking me a very simple question with a very simple answer, and that's how effective is iDoser?

Well, let me tell you. Despite common misconception, iDoser is not a placebo. 83% of iDoser, I'm just going to switch pronunciations every time I see that word. 83% of iDoser users have had at least one simulated experience occur. About 17% have had trouble achieving effects. This is often due to misuse or poor quality headphones. So are there actual drugs?

I mean, yeah, the drugs are in the music. I don't, like, look, didn't you see the part in the top there? So, like, in a CD case? Or when you say music? Wait a minute. You're not honestly saying the sounds are the drugs, are you? No, I mean, that's ridiculous, so I just assumed that. Look, it's, yes, of course.

Binaural brainwave research. That's what I do, sir. Okay, you got some questions. I got some answers. So, ask me any question you like. Any question at all. Wow. Cortex, you got some questions. I got some answers. So, ask me any question you like. Any question at all. Cortex, you had a question for me, right? Okay, so, just theoretically,

let's say that this shit doesn't work, theoretically. What can I do if I'm unable to achieve effects? Well, that's not going to happen, but look, make sure you have quality headphones and are listening without interruption. We recommend the official guide. Click to download

this PDF, maybe? They are methods to achieve a more powerful experience. Any other questions? Can I just do we? What? No.

What methods are available to dose? Oh, what methods? No. What methods are available to dose? Oh, what methods? Yeah. iDoser offers mobile software, full computer software, and CD and MP3s, as well as a supporting dose library of hundreds of doses. Click here to visit iDoser.com, which you're already on right now at this moment, for more information. So can I get it? Click here to go tooser.com, which you're already on right now at this moment for more information. So can I get it?

Click here to go to the website you're on. Look, you're probably looking for support, right? You want support for the iDosing? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Does iDoser offer support? Yeah, absolutely. iDoser has a thriving user forum.

Now you know why we're here. Blog and social groups like Facebook and Twitter. We also offer email supports from dosing experts. What kind of experiences can I achieve? What kind of experiences can you achieve? Yeah, what kind of experiences can I achieve?

Almost anything. iDoser offers recreational, sexual, fictional, mostly fictional, sleep, and meditation, fictional, mostly fictional, sleep, and meditation, chakra and spiritual, and hundreds of other simulated moods and experiences.

What do they mean by simulated moods and experiences? Like, a simulated experience is not an experience. Right? Like, I'm not the only one that feels this way, right? I feel like I feel like this music sucks. All right. Let's skip right to the forums here, the iDozer forums. And come Quatsop, you're going to start off with a fellow on this forum whose name is iDozer.

That must get really confusing. It's a good name. Are you feeling high yet? Yes, hello to all reviewers. My name is Edoser. Hey, guys. I know it is very popular to read and write reviews in the forum. Sure is.

And I have to say, you guys have some of the most detailed and critical reviews of our products we have ever seen. Oh, so it's the owner. We love them here around the lab. We would love it if you could post your reviews to our new storefront. Also, maybe just a quick copy and paste when you post a review here, over there, too. That way, you can help us drive some traffic on the sales front

and still have great reviews and conversations about them here. Don't spam it, as we wouldn't want the opinions to be skewed with a hundred reviews from two people. Yeah, you wouldn't want that opinions to be skewed with 100 reviews from two people. Yeah, you wouldn't want that.

No. Nope. No. But one or two of the best of your best here and there wouldn't hurt. Hey, Boots, you're in the world of eye dosing. You're a super ultra noob, right? Yeah. Well, what is it that you're looking for?

I'm dragging minor tunes. I found out about this today. I've tried Marijuana QH. Lucid Dream. I got nothing. Except for the Samoan. I need to know the best tips for doing this.

My setup was a dark room, lots of pillows, covering my eyes with a towel. I have good headphones that are the right type. I also counted numbers. During the second part where everything starts happening, formations appear in my closed eye. From what I see, and I get dicey. But none of the promised happening is...

Like alien abductions? Yeah. Any tips? Googly smiley? That smile is fucking high Oh hi I'm Michael Hello

I am Michael I keep practicing Don't be expecting a lot while dosing Stay calm and focused on the sounds But make sure you're passively focusing On them not actively trying To extract this or that from them.

So don't try to make it work, otherwise it'll fuck up. Eliminate the most eyes on your light possible. Oh, okay, sure, yep. Be as comfortable as you can be. Move as little as possible. Don't be distracted.

Okay. After doing a dose, I find sitting down quiet on my computer or reading or whatever and not moving a lot physically or mentally helps a ton to feel the desired effects. At this stage, gently scan your body and your body with your awareness for any changes in your state of consciousness and body feeling. If you detect something, enjoy it. What kind of scanner do I need for that? So if you just sit there and... Just, like, scan one part of my body at a time. Give it attention, though. It's a bit like sex.

You might be feeling like a million dollars making love to that hot chick, but if you completely go to the moon in your head and start thinking about stuff that has nothing to do with what you're doing, the pleasure will be greatly reduced. Uh. Okay. Look, this is the internet and I have to tell people, don't think about anime when you're fucking.

Think about the fucking. How can I fuck if I'm not thinking about anime? I don't understand. Right. Your mind is a structure you can aim in this or that direction while dosing remain actively passive. After dosing, actively focus on experiencing

your new state of mind. So, convince yourself you're high. Alright, fair enough. Yeah, to keep it short, I'll give you three words. Practice, practice, practice. And buy more of this garbage. Yes. With time and experience experience you'll feel amazing effects cool shade smiley also i'm still experimenting with this but with great results

so far but if you don't get any or a lot of effects dosing with your headphones in the right position switch it up try dosing with your headphones in reverse. Left to right or right to left and see if it helps. Put your headphones on your butt. Good luck. So, it's about time that we learn a little bit about the cost of this product.

So, if you are an Apple iTunes user, you can buy the iDoser Premium app, which somehow has made it through the iTunes filtering, so fucking congratulations, I guess.

That's capital I. Yeah, so the iDoser Premium app is basically, it's a $5 product that allows you to download other products for a price. The top in-app purchases that you can buy after buying the $5 product are Lucid Dream for $2.99, Orgasm for $3.99, Condition for $0.99. I don't know what that is.

Then there's Trip for $4. Out of Body for $3. Green for $4. Then there's Orgasm QH. I really wish my sex had DLC And you know this is all fine Because like we're going to go to the official Does it work poll And Frank West what have you learned from the official

Does it work poll 15% say It blows my mind 193 people How stupid this is. 20% or 247 people say, I have felt the effects almost every time.

Okay. 29% or 364 people say, some doses work, some don't. 10% only a select few doses have worked for me. Oh, sure, sure.

That's why you want the orgasm normal rather than the QH. 9% say I have felt the effects with only one dose. Which could mean two totally different things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And 17%, or 214 entire people say, it is a complete placebo. I never felt anything. So over half of them have negative responses, right? Well, no.

I mean, I would say, I don't know. There's a lot of middling responsive. I think that this last one, the 17%, is kind of the only negative response. But these are 17% of people self-selected because they're people who have signed up for the iDoser user forum. Then have found this thread.

Well, I mean, okay, I admit I have never taken drugs, but how many times some work and some don't, does that actually apply to actual drugs? I mean, sort of. Hallucinogenics can have a failure rate because hallucinogenics could be anything. That's kind of one of the things about man-made drugs is it could be fucking baking powder.

But this is like a data file. Oh, well, yeah. It could be a data file version of baking powder. Yeah, it's literally the same thing over and over again. So there's never been a more perfect drug is what you're saying. So the iDoser official account, he looks at these results, and he's very proud of himself about everything. And then Kiddo responds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, guys. My name's Kiddo. Yeah, I'm level one. And so far, French Roast did its job. Wait, so it... Okay. Yeah. It got rid of your headache in the morning? I did it once, and my sleepy eyes

were gone. So you took the time to listen to an entire audio file, and by the end of it, you were slightly less sleepy. Wait, so this is seriously simulated coffee? Is that what they're talking about? Yes.

Yep. What? No. I felt... There's also Mary Jane opium cocaine and Divinorium. Divinorum. Okay. I felt that I could think more clear after a day of work.

Sure. But you got high at work. I tried it X4 at the same time. Of course. Yeah, me too. Good idea. What? Somebody tell me what that means. I cannot. I cannot do that. He listened to 4.1.

Yeah. He put headphones on his headphones on his headphones on his headphones. Yeah. There's at least three King Crimson albums that are written to be done like that. What about marijuana? What did marijuana do for you? Marijuana didn't feel shit.

Oh, no. Maybe because I listen to music at the same time. What? Yeah, marijuana doesn't work with music. Yeah, exactly. There's no people that get high while listening to music at the same time. What? Yeah, marijuana doesn't work with music. Yeah, exactly. There's no people that get high while listening to music. No. Well, no, he's listening to the marijuana file,

but also overlaying music on it. Remix! What about Black Sunshine? Black Sunshine. I heard something I thought was a French smooth voice. Ooh la la. And thought this shit worked.

Turned out it was a Swedish voice in a stupid sex ad banner. Ooh la la. Ooh la la. Oh yeah. Oh, tell me to put the chicken in the pot again. And cocaine only did this for 15 minutes, but it made me more active and ready to tackle problems. And that's my story so far. Sure.

My name's Sweet Lemon. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Yeah, Sweet Lemon. Yeah, blows my mind also. Not just expanding, tonguey face. Just finished peyote, and it was weird. I finally stopped thinking about what was going to happen while I was listening to it, and bam, it hit.

I noticed that where the wall and the ceiling meet was looking funny, I stopped focusing on it and saw purple bleed out of the corner in my peripheral vision. I looked back, and it disappeared disappeared and saw the other wall turn purple and then the lights had purple flames run across the ceiling. 20 minutes of craziness! Give it a shot! So he was... That's just like after images.

Right? The trip reports we read in other episodes seemed a lot crazier than I saw purple once. Right? So... I stayed with my eyes seemed a lot crazier than I saw a purple once. I stared with my eyes open for a really long time and then everything went kind of purple.

Right, it only works if you listen to it and then like press your fingers into your eyes really hard and then like rub around for a while and then let go.

Hey, I'm I'm Mo Ching. Alright. I dozer application works and all doses works as far as playing it is concerned, but it does not give any effect on me. Well then, alright.

Welcome to the forum. I was Mon Ching. I, I don't, I don't understand You're welcome Okay thanks Appreciate that Thank you for helping I'm Mr. T34

I really hope It I'm not immune I have tried tons of doses Though all of them just make me sleepy I listen to them all the way through Good volume setting. No distractions. Quiet area. Dim lit.

Comfortable. Concentrated on the sound. I want to feel the effects, but they're just not there. Guess I could just keep trying. Yeah, you could. Could and should. Marijuana. Three doses. Just makes me tired. Sure. Alright. Peyote. Three doses. Just makes me tired. Sure.

All right. Peyote. Three doses. Made me a little scared. Not peyote then. If the word little is anywhere in your peyote trip, that's not peyote. Trip. Three doses.

I think it made me talkative. Oh boy. A-bomb. Two doses. I was told if this one didn't work, I'm hopless. A-bomb. French roast. One dose.

Notice nothing different. Cocaine. One dose. Made me laugh a little, I guess. Wow, this guy's the biggest sucker in the world. Totally cocaine. Quick happy. One dose.

Didn't notice a difference. Sure. Lucid dream. One dose. Only one that worked. I remembered four dreams. That's not what lucid dreaming is. Well, maybe he just remembered his lucid dreams

So with that much time and money spent It's thumbs down for me So that's like 20 bucks right? I mean yeah at least At least Cause they go up to like 5 bucks a piece So man this guy just really wants to believe. Over at page seven here, there's Hero.

And Hero, he's noticed that this could be dangerous. Boots, what is dangerous about this product? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's a lot of caps. Read it all. Oh my god. I've had the worst experience of my life.

Yep, sure. I highly recommend people being careful about this. Any sound wave that can mimic a drug should be reviewed by experts for potential dangers. Okay. I really regret trying this. I know there aren't any bad experiences on here, but that's probably because the only ones that have bad effects are too scared to admit it.

Yeah, you're going to get called a pussy. Beat up. Yeah. Well, I tried Divinorum Dose on May 25th. That was horrible. Sure. I had a panic attack shortly after. I've had tension headache for the past two weeks.

Every single day. I went to get acupuncture to try and get rid of this headache. The thing probably exacerbated the stress I already had. thing probably exacerbated the stress I already had. But the fact that my headache lasted two weeks shows that this could affect your brain for the long term.

If anybody had genuinely bad experience, please use this post to vent. We just taped seven of some other post. Yeah. No, use my post. Okay, sure. Just edit my post. Alright. Just read it out loud

like I'm doing. Like Boots Ranker is doing, not me. Wait, so Boots Ranker, that means that you had a bad experience with this. I'm one person who would not recommend this. I'm willing to look further into this company's

credentials. I'm extremely disappointed who would not recommend this. I'm willing to look further into this company's credentials. I'm extremely disappointed. Oh, no. Portex, you just found something in this thread, page 20, by The Dosification. The Dosification. Yeah, I've read documentaries about the dosification of America. The Dosification. I love iDoser.

I'm a super cool druggie guy. It's kept me away from IRL drugs, which could get me into a lot of trouble. I mean, sure. Most of them work for me, because since I don't do drugs, I know exactly what they feel like.

Particularly anesthesia, oxy, absinthe, and Adderall. Adderall? Yeah! You know what gets your kids to pay attention? The ones to avoid are any QHs and nitrous. Nothing at all from

those. The reason some people aren't getting results is because they aren't doing it right. I see tons of people saying, I started with peyote. H-O-G-G-O-H. Other strong dose. You can't just start with anything.

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! You can just listen to a sound file. Yeah. Try some more beginner-friendly doses, like French Roast or Anesthesia. I have a full list of beginner doses on the support form.

Go check it out. Then work your way up to the stronger doses. I'm a fucking dumbass. Good God. Fuck. I'm a fucking dumbass good god fuck I like to think that at least two thirds of these posts and these accounts are just fake ones made by admins sure it's like no no you have to buy all of them

I bought all of them and it's the greatest thing that's ever happened. The first ten sucked, but the second ten were so good that it made up for it. But I had to do them in order. If so, then that's kind of sad because they still can't spell or anything. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, what's up? I need help.

Oh, what's your name? My name is RabbiG404. All right, well, hopefully. Hey, what's up? What's wrong? I need help. Oh, what's your name? My name is Robbike404. All right, well, hopefully we can help you. I need help. Okay, so I started doing eye doses about two months ago. And I used to do it every day until my friend tried Gates of Hades. Yes, stupid idea. every day until my friend tried gates of Hades. Yes. Stupid idea.

But I told him what he was up against, but he didn't listen. Oh, I'm so excited to look up what gates of Hades. Yeah. Yeah. After he finished, he flipped out and screamed on top of his lungs.

On top of lungs. Okay. It scared me so much, but now whenever I hear any kind of frequency from the gates of Hades, I cringe and have to turn it off because I get chills. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

My problem here is I want to start getting back into eye dosing again because it used to relax me. Is there any eye doser that could gradually get me back to listening to any decent ones? The problem. I need drugs to help me do drugs? Is that what you're saying? Like most drugs, iDoser is really easy to accidentally quit. I agree.

Yeah, I need help. Yeah, you need help. Can Frank West help you? Yes, I can. Oh, good. Boy, oh boy. Try to be more rational. Don't be so scared.

How old are you? Not judging. Just trying to analyze the situation. On MP3, I can recommend you White Crosses, First Love, all the sexual doses. Sure, sure. Alright.

Who knows? A bunch of doses can do the trick. I don't even listen to pure malevolent audios. What? Pure malevolent sucks. I always think, like, what is wrong with people to go for a recipe of a bad trip? Most people take psychedelics and hope they don't have a bad trip

and end up slightly or significantly damaged. And here we are, seeking out fear and panic like it's candy. I, Doser, makes it possible like they should, but what is wrong with people for going for it? Just my two cents plus my opinion. So you, poster on the iDoser forum, is saying this product does exist. Maybe it should, maybe it shouldn't, but it sure is a bad idea to do it. Oh, it's too powerful and too dangerous.

We can't possibly. The mystical powers of shit in my headphones. Hey, what was your most intense eye doser trip? My name's Plug and Play and I just want to hear your stories. Tell me about your most

intense trip. Was it like real drugs? What dose was it and how long did it last? I can't wait to hear your replies, tonguey face! I mean, but it's... No, if you hover over it, it says Raz.

I can't wait to hear your replies! Pffft! Poor text, you're Scott Grijalva or something? Grijalva. Scott Grijalva. uh poor text you're scott grivalja or something right yeah scott realva hi plug and play hey hi what's going on the most memorable and interesting trip i had with a dose was lsd and the experience was when i did it the first time. I only own LSD, Astral Projection, Reset, Lucid Dream, and You Choose.

Reset makes it feel like you did before you started listening to it. It worked perfectly. Go back to start. But I have had the best experience with LSD, but here it is. So I laid on my couch in my room, turned on the dose,

and started my relaxation techniques, which makes the dose take effect sooner. Or it makes you believe that it works, but yeah, sure. Yeah, that's what I meant. I was then in a semi-sleeping state of consciousness, kind of like I was taking a nap

or some shit, and after a little while, I snap into, I would say, an emulated consciousness state of mind. I don't know that you should say that, but sure. Yeah. I didn't vision, live, or dream of this following event, I am about to tell. But I would say I live it in a very realistic third-person point of view.

But this is what I experienced when Dose kicked in. The one I fucking... Yeah, I get it. That's what I'm... God damn, Mike. I was laying on the couch and my roommate came home and he brought some Nutella spread. No, he bought some. Oh, sorry.

He bought some Nutella spread in my house. I live in a store. He put it away in the pantry. I live in a store. He put it away in the pantry and then went to do something. I didn't vision what he did after that. Because he was behind a wall of some sort? He went into the other room. Fucking drugs!

Woo! The rest of the dose was hazy. But this is the part that wows me every time I think about it. The Nutella part or the next part? The next part. Okay, good. Nutella's pretty fucking amazing on its own. That was good, though.

No, that was a good lead-in. Yeah, you really got me on the hook. Chocolate sandwiches? Is this a drug trip? What? I awake from my dose, and I feel fully rested, and not remembering my dose at I feel fully rested and not remembering my dose at the time I woke up.

That blows my mind too. I went downstairs to get some Nutella and it wasn't there. Oh my God. I thought about it for a second. Then it came back to me when I visioned my roommate buying Nutella. It's amazing how it got put

into my subconsciousness that we had Nutella in the pantry. It just proves the power and the potential of iDoser. It gives me dreams about chocolate. Where's the chocolate spread from my bread? This was a bad trip. I dreamed about chocolate

at the end. The potential of iD trip. I dreamed about chocolate at the end. The potential of Vidoser. Why, I could have imagined that my roommate bought all kinds of foodstuffs. Just imagine. Uh, yeah. Good God.

That's such a fucking boring-ass dream. Hey, I had a dream once where, like, you know, I saw a rock, then it turned out I never saw that rock. Fucking drugs! Yeah, that's, yeah. Boy, that sure is a lot like LSD. Yep. That's the kind of story you walk away with after doing LSD.

Oh, I thought there was Nutella, and then there wasn't. Man! This is totally, yeah, this is totally nerds that are just trying. They're posing posing, which is really bizarre. They don't even have... Can I, uh, I want to read the one that Kumquat just posted.

Then do it. Okay. Hello. Hello. I am Ziff Venturaix, and I want to talk about brown note dose. Oh, God. I sleep over my friend's house and I sleep first. And Dick draws over my face with pernament marker and puts Cool Whip on my chin when I'm asleep.

Or when I'm a sleep. when I'm a-sleep. When I'm asleep, yep. Yeah. Just saying, the brown note dose would make a good revenge on your friends when they're asleep. Okay, sure. Evil smiley. Sure, that would be... Hi, my name is Fusion!

Hey, Fusion! Hi, my name is Fusion! Hey, Fusion! Yes, everyone needs help from White Noise so they can take a shit easier! What? What? So, if we haven't explained it very well yet, and I don't think that we have, the sort of principle behind idoser is that it's binaural beats,

so that it's like asyncopated rhythms, right? What? So there's like two different rhythms that are playing simultaneously. So, like, stereo? Yeah. Yeah. So that's confusing. Like, that's confusing to your brain.

So then, obviously, that makes you, like, you know, it's like a peyote trip at that point. Because that's what happens. Or coffee. Or coffee. Yeah. Or an orgasm. It could be any of those things. It's the magic of

asyncopated rhythms. But my name is Legalize It. Legalize this. I don't sing. Are you kids listening to things? Just putting stickers up everywhere that's like, sound is not illegal.

Listening to headphones is not a crime. Yeah, I know it's not. Well, I'm glad we agree. Okay, so legalize it. Binaural beats make me angry! Oh no! Binaural beats make me angry! Sometimes they'll be dosing and I'll just get bad for no reason

I'm not thinking angry thoughts or anything It just comes out of nowhere Nick, do you have a question for me? Nick? It depends on what dose you... Are you dosing? It could be anything! For no reason at all!

I'll just get pissed! Uh, hmm. I have no idea what could that be. Maybe some kind of side effects of eye doser? Why is it written on the label? Side effects. Anger making. In that case,

did it work on us? Because this is making me kind of angry. Frank West, you're getting close to astral projecting at this point, right? You're getting close? Yeah, pretty much. I'm nearly there.

That's so good. I hope you have a great journey. I'm RepelDarkness11, and I'm close to astral projecting. Sure. Okay, so I decided it was difficult to project myself into the astral plane. I also decided that. I decided that a long time ago. As well as reaching a higher state of awareness for it. So I listened to a calming, isochronic tone

from a different website to get myself calm and not my body. After I listened to about ten minutes of it, I put on an isochronic astral projection tone. After ten minutes of this, I felt way different than when I first astral projected. I felt my body tense up and my breathing become faster. Sure. Wait, that's not... That's nice. That's a long name.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay, I just... Yeah. Like my soul wanted to shoot out through my body, but I got too tripped out and opened my eyes, thinking I had done it. My head was trembling, and I was so close. And I blew it.

My last astral projection must have been a dream state of some kind, because this was a way different experience. Maybe of some kind, yeah. When it really happens, it's not going to be anything Like a dream It will be 100% real Anytime I talk to people Who said that they were dragons

They didn't need this shit to astral project I think this might be A scam you guys I'm starting to feel doubt Oh you think this is a scam You actually think this is a scam? You actually think this is a scam? Look, I'm just, I have misgivings. I just, I'm not entirely, I haven't really seen anything that, uh.

You're such a sucker. Because this stuff really works. Oh. Right? I'm Grandpa Jackson, and this stuff really works. Okay. Oh, Grandpa Jackson. Grandma's doing it again.

Every Thanksgiving, I swear to god this stuff really works though i tried the astral projection sound thing works one more time because that's just a great sentence i tried the astral projection sound thing works i listened to it tonight and i could see my body as I floated up. I heard voices calling me, but the book I have on astral travel told me that the voices can lead you to evil. Oh dear. On my trip, I traveled

forward in time to 2015, and there is nothing but ice. The population is just over 2,000. Welcome to the future, Grandpa Jackson. I posted this in 2007, so yeah. Lots of people have died from the cold food is hard to find. I have to warn you all to prepare.

In the future, refrigerators will be so efficient that everyone will die because their food is too cold. There's an important thing I need to tell all the F Plus listeners. I have to warn all of you to prepare for the year 2015. Oh, shit. Everyone is busy. Yeah, look out. Look out. Once we

get to the year 2015, it's going to be a problem. Store lots of food tin cans of food. Store lots of food tin cans of food. Store lots of food tin cans of food. Keep well and so dose water and alcohol. Is he saying also water and alcohol?

Is he saying dose that? Like we don't need water? Yeah, can I listen to a sound file that gives me water? Keep well and then dose all of the water and alcohol. Take the water dose and the alcohol dose. Or is it saying, like, put headphones on a glass of water? Because Fred might get into a drug problem. I want you to imagine now the teen comedy,

and then the guy shows up to the prom and puts headphones over the punch bowl. At that point, if that worked, it'd just be like, I think someone sp over the punch bowl. At that point, if that worked, it'd just be like, I think someone spiked the punch. How do you know? There's fucking giant headsets sitting on it. Fucking I don't know. My first tip off.

Look, take note of all fields with animals and where stores are as you can find them and take the food. From the animals? It was a freaky obo, but it was interesting. Maybe it was a freaky-obe, but it was interesting. Maybe it was a freaky-obo. It was a freaky-obo!

You're one freaky-obo, Grandpa Jax. Vale, what's your take on my prophetic dream? Again, sorry to burst your bubble, but that was only a dream. What? See, I was right. Well, um, astral projecting sounds, I mean, really super fun

and powerful and great. But I wonder if I can have sex while I'm astral projecting. Can I have sex while I'm astral projecting? Yes, hello, I'm Vamplina. Sure.

Vamplina. The fifth version of Vampirella and it just keeps getting worse. Yes. I just wanted to pass off some of what I know about this since I see a lot of

people having evil encounters and fear. What? I won't get into if app is a lucid dream or really a spiritual journey, but

I can tell you the end result is the same. It's a realm of thought. And if you're afraid of creepy voices, demons, and all those things, you're going to have a hard time with the Associated Press. Does this mean it'll always be like this? No. No.

No, it doesn't. As it happens more and you stay calm and get through the experience, your fear will lessen. And you'll start having normal advanced placement experiences. I fell asleep a lot in AP, too. Yeah. I never had a problem with this as I faced my fears of the dark and demons long ago. And while I'm still not fully experienced in this, I can tell you the rewards are still worth it.

Once you fight off your fear, the real fun begins. This is something most people won't talk about. Yeah, this is true. But you can have sex while astral projecting. Good, my griffon form is so fucking horny, I need to... And it's unlike anything you could experience in your body. That's true. It is, yeah.

It's probably the main reason I keep trying to get fluid with astral projection. Hmm. Oh, I think it's fluent. No, I'm sticking with fluid. I don't know about that. Yeah, I think fluids. Astral fluid. Uh.

Having incredible sex with various beings and even other astral projectors is mind-blowing. I'm such a super cool stud in my head. You guys think I'm a bad guy. Damn. Yeah, you're an astral poop. I like how he's like, you can have amazing sex with crazy spiritual creatures and even, and I know this is crazy Other human beings Oh that's if you're into the weird shit

We won't have to just fuck chickens any longer Hey I want to talk about breast growth I talk about breast growth What I talk about breast growth. What's your name? My name is Boobs666. Man knows what he wants. This is my only post, and it's about breast growth.

Okay, so Boobs666, he says, If you guys could find a way to stimulate progesterone and estrogen, et cetera, you might be able to help women grow bigger boobs. Why is the science gone out on this? Hey, so it's now time. It's been long enough. We need to get into the bulk of what these products actually are. So I am on now iDoser software. There's a couple of different iDoser domains.

But on idosersoftware.com, I have a list of all of the drugs represented by iDoser. You can also buy them in packs. So, for example, there is the Sex Pack, which includes each of their best-selling sex doses. You get Excite, Extend, and Ecstasy. Experience the full spectrum of sexual doses. Excite is the perfect dose to put you or your partner in the mood. If you finish too soon and you can't finish at all,

or you never get started, Extend may be the dose you need. Our strongest, fastest sexual dose. Ecstasy was designed to bring you to the state of near orgasm. And leave you there, motherfucker. So it really just is that Digital Underground album, isn't it? Yeah, it's Sex Packets, yep. Yeah, okay.

Anyway, so this is the page of all of the drugs that are represented by iDoser. Boots, pick a drug. Let's try to find it. Yeah, Molly. You want to go Molly?

All right, I'm sure we can find that here. Yep, there it is. Yeah, yeah. All right, tell me about the Molly experience. Yeah, Molly is our simulated advanced upper dose. With an attempt to simulate rolling, this advanced sequence might make you space out and can end intensely with an after-effect anxiety after you roll.

Nicely mixed with music or a party, we tried to get enough similarities to both the stimulant, amphetamine, and the hallucinogen mescaline. It produces feelings of increased energy, euphoria, emotional warmth, and empathy towards others. It distortions in sensory and time perception. I think Molly has mescaline in it, but whatever, that's fine. I mean, neither does this fucking thing, so I guess it's okay.

Molly, mescaline, amphetamine. Molly. All right, fair enough. Come Quatsap, what did you think of the Molly product? Yes, hello, my name is Nicholas. I felt warmth and happiness.

Sure, that makes sense. Later, I played music, and I could felt the music so crisp and clear, I ellipsis. Yeah, that sounds like amphetamine and mescaline, all right. Portex, pick a drug. Pick a drug.

I need a drug. Oh, my God. The most intense thing I can think of off the top of my head, the Yaba, the crazy drug. Take an Asia to make you stay up for weeks at a time. Let's see. Yes, I got Yaba. No problem. All right.

All right. Awesome. Yaba, very strong. All right, Portex, tell me all about the Yabba. Recreational, very strong. It lasts 30 minutes. Yeah, that's totally, yeah. Yabba has a very short, whatever.

All right. That's your lifespan. Yep. All right, so, oh, it's on sale. It was $3. Now it's $2.25. Oh, thank Christ. Yep.

It is known as crazy medicine. Mm- Christ. It is known as crazy medicine. It is known as crazy medicine. This dose, which creates an intense hallucinogenic effect and can enable users to stay aware, alert, and awake, makes for a powerful one-two punch. Hallucinogenic plus stimulant equals yabba. That's good math. Yabba. That's good math. Yabba! You will have an extreme sense of alert

while experiencing some hallucinogenic effects such as sound distortion, vivid colors, and visual effects. The combination of those two types of dosages can have different effects on the user, but one thing is sure, it has the potential to be a very powerful

combination, so please use with caution Crazy Medicine! Yay! Yabba! That sounds great. I can't wait for the crocodile. Get the crocodile in one ear and the yabba in the other. Come quats out. What drug

do you like? Well, I mean, you know, I like roofies. Oh, good! Okay. I think I mean, you know, I like roofies. Oh, good. Okay. I think I could probably find that for you. No problem. Who doesn't really when you think of that?

Let's see here, Paige. Let's see. Roofies. Yeah, we got it. Roofies. No problem. Roofies will cost you $3.94. Are you shitting me?

Yeah, roofies. Tell me about the roofies Yeah A roofie, singular Details Roofie slash recreational Intense 45 minutes Hey baby, just slip these headphones on

For 45 minutes I'll be right back Did somebody put a headphone on me? No, no, no, no. You have to leave your drink alone with me for 45 minutes. This is a binaural simulation of the slang term roofie or ro-hip-nol, where medical use is as a pre-operation anesthetic or strong sleeping pill. That's what the prosecutor keeps calling it.

Yeah. Well, we don't intend this to only be used for its intense calming ability. Sure. People are always roofing themselves. Yeah. We also enhanced it with party drug qualities

by designing aphrodisiac and stamina qualities and its ability to enhance out stimulants like alcohol. That's why people take movies. Right before you go into the OR, they totally give you an

aphrodisiac. Who are we bullshitting? General enhancement! Exhausting undertones! Part enhancing midlife! This is one truly advanced simulation for whatever the night may bring. Whatever the night may bring. Whatever.

We did, you know, whatever. Probably a rape trial. You said you were up for whatever. Frank West, pick a drug. Jankum. Jankum. I'm sure. That might be hard.

I don't know. Tell me. Tell me they have it. Oh, no, no Jankum. No, no, sorry. J-E-N-K-E-M. I just found it. What? I just found it. Oh, no, no, Jankum, no. Are you sure? J-E-N-K-E-M. I just found it. What?

I just found it. Oh, shit. Well, all right. Tell me about Jankum. I'm like, I know. I'm sure. Holy shit. Oh, my God.

First of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, Frank West, because I'm sure that there's going to be a listener confused by this. Frank West, what is Jankum, the actual product? Jankum is a drug produced by fermenting human waste in a plastic bag. Now, you're saying that you put your shit in a bag and then let it ferment and then you huff it, right? It might be fictional. Yeah, this is listed under the fictional drug section.

Oh, fuck! Wow! That's why I couldn't find it. There's a whole category. There's also I searched for something else. There's also the drug from Skyrim. Skuma? There's Spice Melange which is from Dune.

The shit from Scanners? The thing from Scanner Darkly. Oh good, I can take V. That's great. All right, well tell me about the fictional Jankum experience. It was 575, but for some reason, this huffing shit has gone up. Damn Steam sales always give me all that Jankum experience was $5.75, but for some reason shuffling shit has gone up. Damn Steam sales always give me all that Jankum.

Yep, yep, yep. I mean, you don't really want to buy shit at those prices. It's hard not to. Jankum. Recreational. Very strong. 30 minutes. Jankum is a purportedly hallucinogenic inhalant created from fermented human waste.

With media attention and curiosity through the roof, we offer you a safe way to try one of the most talked about drug experiences of recent years. It probably does smell like a safe way now that I think about it. With none of the revulsion that comes from the alleged creation of the inhalant. But that's really part of the experience. Right, exactly! You're missing the Jankum experience. Yeah, no, I agree, yeah.

To create such a complex simulation, we modeled methane, carbon dioxide, ethanol simulation forms with hallucinogenic undertones. This all sounds really good. We've gone into some of the hard drugs And by the way If you are addicted to iDoser heroin You can

Take iDoser methadone But that's not what I want to read to you I want to read about iDoser nutmeg Okay about Eidoser Nutmeg. Okay, here we go. Nutmeg. Nutmeg is basically the seed that is obtained from the nutmeg tree.

It's basically that. Can I listen to it at the same time as I listen to Eidoser Eggnog? The seed contains what is known as Mers... Mers... Mers-stick or something. It is a kind of

monoamine oxidase inhibitor of a mild nature, which is actually an antidepressant drug. The agent is what's considered the main source of the most nutmeg-high effects. Nutmeg! Side effects include visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations, one of the profuse symptoms of a mental

disorder, where the person perceives illusory elements, or buys bullshit for his MP3 player, and delusions, forming deceptive ideas. Some people have experienced abnormal personality changes, sensations of hot and cold, and blurred visions have also been reported to occur in some.

Accompanying these, there may be a double vision, headache, and drowsiness. iDoser closely simulates the knockout effects of a large nutmeg dose, and thusly a strong dose. So, yeah, you can probably take, like, the iDoser cinnamon challenge with my shit. Like, if I'm cooking, can I just put the headphones on there for just a moment, have just a pinch of nutmeg in my food? Right, yeah. I mean, yeah, but don't use too much, because it gets kind of gross. Well, but you have to grate your hat on.

A little goes a long way. Yeah, absolutely. I'm feeling a little too hyperactive, and I need something to calm me down. What do you find? Oh, God. Well, you know, maybe, I don't know, maybe you can find a drug that'll calm me down a little bit. I don't know, maybe some sort of, you know, Percocet or something. Rufy?

No, no. I think I found the one I want just now. What's that? It's chloroform. Oh, sure. Yeah, that should work. Yeah. So, yeah, chloroform is a volatile liquid that was used as an anesthetic drug in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Sure, yep. That was used as an anesthetic drug in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Sure, yep. And I'd also spend many years researching the effects of trichloromethane as an anesthetic volatile solvent. We put chloroform on a lot of ladies! They'd have the control lady and... This is a slow-reacting dose, similar mimic to the experience after 10 minutes you will not feel anything however after that threshold the slow intoxication sets in your head begins to pleasantly throb as the intoxication washes over you there's a distinctive wow wow in your ears

that increases the further you go. Your vision may become grainy but detailed at the same time. As the dose passes 75%, the experience takes on a bodily turn. Your midsection and face become pseudo-numb. It feels like jelly. Sure. It does. It does.

Yeah. Despite this, the feeling in your center and extremities still present. If it is touched, the simulation feels as it would always feel. As you come to the edge of consciousness, the dose will end and leave you stranded. Yay! Sounds great. Yeah! Yeah.

I know one. I know one. What drug do you like, Vortex? My favorite drug is alien abduction. That's not a cute nickname. I don't know if I can help you out with that. I'm sure there's no way there's a drug called alien abduction. Oh, wait, here it is!

Yeah, okay, so abduction premium. This is a premium one. This is the overpriced one. It lasts for 45 minutes. Abduction attempts to recreate primal feelings associated with a close encounter. Lost of perceived origin, detachment, and a strong disconnection to everything earthly kicks off a journey through space and time. So put the headphones up your butt.

Yes. That's why it's called Astral Project. Don't laugh at that. Abduction may dislodge memories, give interstellar or otherworldly knowledge, and open visitation pathways that might have remained closed. Fear and disrupted dreams may be a side effect as you become more open to encounters

and abductions. The end. Great, yeah, that seems uh, come Quadsap, what drug do you like? We're fucking just doing every drug here, it's the best. What drug do you want to do, man? I, I, I Do you want to do, man? Do you want to do

Meow Meow? Because there's fucking Meow Meow in this catalog. I didn't, but now I do. Great. Alright, here we go. Tell me about Meow Meow. It was $6.66, but for now and, I don't know, maybe only

now, it's $5. $5? That's way less metal. It's the most expensive fake drug that we've seen so far, so tell me about Meow Meow. Fucking Meow Meow Premium Extreme One Hour Attempted Simulation of the

Street Drug Methodrone Commonly Referred to as Meow Meow. By who? Cats? Because they call everything Meow Meow. It's a partly distinction. As innocuous as the name sounds,

Meow Meow could be the most gruesome of all recreational drug reproductions. Uh, well, I mean, maybe of the reproductions, I guess. Yeah, yeah. The actual amphetamine. I don't know if that's the amphetamine reproduction or the actual amphetamine reproduction caused a recent user to engage in horrific self-mutilation. Sum me up, motherfucker!

Meow, meow. Our recreation tries to simulate the recreational experience, that's why it's called recreation, with undertones of nightmarish qualities. A potent concoction that may cause effects similar to a combination of MDMA, cocaine, and alcohol, all topped with nightmare

sleep qualities, morbid thoughts, and equally low valleys as peaks for experienced dozers who want to attempt something extreme. Hey, I tried Meow Meow. Oh, did you? What did you think of it? My name is Michael Krom, and I put my real fucking name on this thing. Sure. Oh, did you? What did you think of it? My name is Michael Crumb, and I put my real fucking name on this thing. Sure, why wouldn't you? Yeah.

What did you... How many stars did you give Meow Meow? Five stars. This dose is amazing. Sure. I tried it a few times now and only had positive effects from it, which include strong euphoria, a clear mind, a light-bodied feeling,

and a feeling of being connected with everyone. Someone like MDMA. Sure. But then completely different. Oh! How helpful! This dose gives me four to six hours for a full effect.

Frank West, do you have another favorite drug? I do. Peyote. Oh, you like peyote? No problem. I love peyote. Here's a picture of a cactus with the word peyote on it. Peyote was on sale for $4.25, but there is a sale $3.19 for peyote. It's recreational and very, very strong.

Wow. Okay. Some of these other ones were just very strong. But this is caps and everything. Oh, wait. Isn't this the one that makes you think that there's Nutella? Yeah. That's pretty hardcore.

That's very, very strong. If you don't like Nutella? Yeah. Oh, man. That's pretty hard for her. I mean, that's... That's very, very strong. If you don't like Nutella, do not get this dose. Straight out. If you are new to hallucinogenic experiences, then we highly recommend, suggest starting with our trip dose. It is much more mellow than peyote. If you really want to fly through the outer stratosphere... Which I do, yep. Of course. Then we are happy to offer you peyote. If you really want to fly through the outer stratosphere. Which I do, yep. Of course. Then we are happy

to offer you peyote. We sent one of our senior techs to Amsterdam to sample some of the best peyote in the world. Wait! Wait! Wait, Amsterdam? Oh yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Amsterdam! That's where cactuses grow, right?

Yep. That's a place where drugs are, I think. Look, they don't pay me to do research for these blurbs. They pay me to write them. It's why all the Native Americans in Amsterdam have peonies as part of their ritual. Hey, it was a quest, man. Equipped him with a laptop and told him to write a dose that gets you as close as possible. He came back with this, and it blew our minds! Causes a mystical loss of one's self.

Disorientation of the senses, distortions in body images, distortions in perception, the inability to communicate, and hyper-suggestibility. Please contact your doctor if you experience any of these symptoms. A true altered state of consciousness. Not a toy. Not for the state of consciousness. Not a toy.

Not for the weak-minded. Not for most people. Not for the weak-minded. Okay. Explicitly for the weak-minded. Okay. You know what one of my favorite drugs is? What?

What's that? Choking to death. So this drug is called asphyxiation. Wow. Okay, so yeah, this drug is called asphyxiation. Sure, and it's sexual extreme and it's 45 minutes. So continuing the idoser.com extensive line of extreme sexual doses, we now offer the asphyxiation dose.

Erotic asphyxiation, or breath control play, is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. The sexual preference for that behavior is variously called I'm just filling text because this is all garbage! is variously called asphyxophilia, autoerotic asphyxia, hypo-asphyxia, hypoxyphilia. Colloquially, a person engaging in the activity is sometimes called a gasper. I think I made that up.

The powerful dose combines restriction manipulation and sexual triggers to truly create an intense sexual experience like no other. And then, Kumquatsop, what did Naomi Robicoff think of asphyxiation? Did she like it? I'm Naomi Robicoff. Oh, yeah, you are. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Robert!

Robert! Yeah, so... I never know. I started playing the dose. Yep. To my surprise, I know Sir legitimately made this into a sexual dose. Legitimately, okay, sure.

I didn't expect that even though it was part of the sexual album. Whatever. But I have to say, it was definitely the way to go for this dose. I continued on with the dose, enjoying listening to the back track very much.

It is by far the best back track I heard with subtle sounds of love and gentle ambient music. It really put me in the mood. I became very aroused and... And? And she choked to those. Well, all right. Bye, Naomi. She was found naked with headphones on.

No foul play was suspected. Hang on, I'm very confused. See, you know, the thing is that I just, you know, I just, like, strip naked and then listen to In Excess Records, which kind of does the same thing. But I became very aroused and wet between the knees. Ooh, wait, what? That's, ugh. I think you need to, like, your vagina.

That's what they call me, Naomi Sweaty Knees. Keep going. The dose at this point feels very similar to orgasm or multiple. Oh, a warm orgasm starts to brew within my belly. Beneath your belly. Like bacteria. Beneath your belly. Like bacteria.

And starts flushing outward as the dose progressed, and then it hit me in sort of an A-bomb fashion. My body filled with the most intense floating euphoria, and my mind spiraled into darkness as my body flushed with pleasure. This pleasure became more intense, doubling with each passing second. And just as I feel like I'm about to pass out, the dose lets me go. I never choked. Wait, what? What?

No. The product's called asphyxiation. I could always breath through the entire dose, but I had all the feeling as if I was being choked. I began to recover, panting a little bit, caused the shocking pleasure that had just ensued. I never choked, but I always had the feeling as if I was being choked. Okay, yeah, no, no, no, sorry. I'm so sorry, I doubted you, okay.

No, no, no, the dose finally finally finished and I laid there in bed panting gently holding Twilight. Yeah! This has to be fake. I'm going to go to the thing and make sure that Twilight is a square in bingo just to make sure. Yep. All right. It is now. Yeah. to make sure. Alright, it is now! Yeah, holding Twilight. As if I just

had the best sex of my life! You know, when I hold Twilight! And my wife... My wife? What? My wife went to go do something and I am just laying there alone recovering in a semi-contorted position in bed. As an overview of this dose,

to best explain it. Best explain it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! I know, sir, mixed aftermath with masochist and gave birth to this amazing dose. That best explains it right there. Yeah, thanks. That was the best.

Yeah. Yeah. This is my favorite dose now. And I would say you've got to try it, but I definitely will not recommend it. Because it is by far the most powerful dose I ever tried. Oh, it's too good. Yeah. I'm actually typing this with a sinking feeling in my tummy holding Twilight. Hey, wait a minute. You're totally cock-blocking us

from asphyxiation! That's, uh... Okay, okay, we gotta do one more round of this because there's still so many drugs. There are at least... I just want to say that since I've been taking all this THC sounds

in here, I noticed that Naomi Robicoff's name backwards is Fockebor I moan. That's it. Thanks. Thanks, dog. Thanks, dog. Alright, so we gotta do one more round

because there's literally hundreds of drugs here. Portex, any other drugs do you like? Yeah, so I'm going to blow the lid off the speedrunning community because I found out something. What did you find? Yeah. What did you find?

Game Enhancer. Ooh! Game Enhancer. Yeah, they all have pretty much the same description, so I'll just pick the Game Enhancer Shooter one. Okay. Okay, what does the Game Enhancer Shooter do? It takes only 15 minutes,

which most shooter games last longer than that, but whatevs. iDoser.com exclusive line of game enhancer doses designed to be administered either just before or during gaming session. For casual, moderate, hardcore, professional gamers

each dose is designed to enhance your abilities in a specific game genre. Example shooter games include Doom, Raystorm, Left 4 Dead, Army of Two, Battlefield, Bioshock, Call of Duty, and other shooter-oriented games. Those certainly are shooter games.

Congratulations on listing those. Let's talk video games. I've now uncovered everyone's dirty secrets. Yeah, that's cool and all, but all I play is Zuma. Do you have something for me? There is a game, it's a casual. Yep, yep.

Tangle and Farmville. The text is essentially the exact same. Except for it's a different list of games. Oh, oh shit! But the game Enhancer Casual will make you better at Farmville. Oh, oh shit! But the Game Enhancer Casual will make you better at Farmville. Oh, it'll give me Facebook friends that care.

That's nice. I'm gonna keep playing this fucking horrible sound until you support my Farmville. Frank West, you find any other drugs you like? I found the Gate of Hades. That's the thing from before. Oh, we talked about that one earlier the Gate of Hades. That's the thing from before. We talked about that one earlier. It is the thing from before.

Now we get to know what it is. I think the most important thing about it is that it usually sells for $200. But don't worry if that's a little pricey for you. It's on sale for $149. Oh, well, I can't afford not to buy it now. So, details. Gate of Hades. Premium in the unexplainable category.

I want to see more with that tag, please. Love crafty and drugs there. Smoke of their torment. Weeping and gnashing of teeth. Death. Destruction. No rest day and night. Tormented. Their worm does not die. Expect

nightmares, near-death experiences, and strong onset of fear. A failure of a creation that we offer only as a premium for those who want to experience both sides. And he opened the bottomless pit, and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace, and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit. Good God. Good fuck.

I'd like to read the first review of it by Baratta. No, that's mine. Oh, you can have it? All right. Hey, Burato, what did you think of Gates of Hades? I'm Burato. Burrito? Mm-hmm.

Yep. Burato. Not burrito. Burato. Oh, this opened a new door in my mind that can't be closed. The can't be closed. So this is the only other product in the unexplainable tag of iDoser drugs. It's called the Hand of God. It's also same exact price point.

It's a premium 30 minutes unexplainable. It's a dose that has been a lifetime achievement for iDoser.com, and it held internal to iDoser Labs for a very good reason. It isn't meant for public consumption because it is considered too powerful. It's like the Holy One reaches from the sky as you lay with closed eyes and shows you the universe, everything, infinity. lay with closed eyes, and shows you the universe, everything, infinity. Only five people have ever witnessed the power of this dose, and it was put away in the iDoser vault for fear of release. Fluttering eyelids, great and almost supernatural clairvoyance,

rings of light and great insight. But this all comes at a price. But this all comes at a price. But this all comes at a price. It could also bring fear, an unknowing realization of self, and a breakdown of all senses. Weeping, fear, anger. You need to realize with such insight can come bad consequences. Add this to my cart. Also, read many reviews.

Also, three people have Google Plus-wonded. Yeah, I know why. There's got to be many more by the time... Four. Four people have. The first bit of activity has been about Google Plus for like two years. Yeah, so there are so many, I mean are so many drugs. I would not mind spending two hours reading all of these drug descriptions.

Well, yeah, we have. But we're just going to have to sum it up here. So I just want to tell you about a couple of the other products that are available. And I'm going to look at the drug section here. So obviously Absinthe is available, as well as bath salts. Brain Plus is an option, so, you know, go for that if you like.

Codeine, crack, crystal meth, I mean, that's all stuff that we would assume, but there's the hangover cure. And... A hangover cure, so... You don't forget it. No, no, no.

As I said, there's both methadone and heroin and methadone. But then another one that I very much enjoy is Nightshade. Tomatoes. This sounds just like a pizza. You can have the super fun experience of fucking poisoning yourself. Or choking yourself. I wonder if there's a hemlock one. And then the other one that I really like is nitrous,

just because I love the fact that you would... Recreational nitrous? Yeah, yeah, recreational nitrous. Oh, and overdose, also in that category. Boots, what's in your category? Oh, I've got the premium category, which includes A-bomb, which makes it feel like a bomb has gone off in your ear music. There's also bath salts are on sale.

Yep, good. There's black bath salts are on sale. Yep. Good. There's Black Sunshine, which... I was going to say about the... When you're in the premium stuff, I feel like I've taken the Big Bang and it wasn't really that impressive to me. It's getting ahead of me here. I'm so sorry.

The Big Bang is a pretty good, pretty popular dose. But why not try the six-hour fucking version of the Big Bang Dose? Why not dedicate an entire fucking day to listening to two different beats in each ear? Hey, that's great. Except for I want to, like, float. Can you offer me that? You want to float? Yes I wanna, like, float. Um, can you, can you offer me that? You, you wanna float? Yes.

I want to literally float. Oh, it's not like a ruby. Uh, oh yeah, why not try zero gravity? You know, you don't have to have a spaceship, but now you can feel like you do. Only three, man, only three dollars to defy gravity. Yeah. Fuck you. Like, that's longer than any of the rest of us have defy gravity. Yeah. Fuck you. That's longer than any of the rest of us

on defied gravity. Yeah, that's even cheaper than sleep paralysis. Is there anything else that's on that page right there? Anything else? Yeah, is there any other things that are on that page? The Satan's jackhammer? Awesome, I saw them last week.

The Satan's Jackhammer, as seen on the hit TV show 1000 Ways to Die. Oh, good. Great. Kamkwazap, what are you looking at there? Yeah, I want to enhance myself. Oh, good. Great. ComeQuadSop, what are you looking at there? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I want to enhance myself.

That makes sense. Yeah. Um, so... Yeah, I can take Genderize. What? I'm sorry? It's an advanced sexuality dose. Okay, that doesn't explain anything.

It's designed to simulate a gender swap including thoughts of and body harmonics and mental physical reactions and it's bi-directional meaning from male female or female male that's awesome I'm so glad that I listened to the sound file and now I'm a woman

but I've got all of this gray hair yeah yeah well that was my next thing cause that caused all the things, and so now there's gray-be-gone! But you're fucked because you already had the gray hair, and iDozerSoftware says, we are not going to lie, gray-be-gone

will not bring a head of gray hair back to color! Oh, they're not going to lie. No, you have to listen to it before your hair is gray, and it will slow the gray hair growth. Oh, that's why it's called Grey Be Gone. Of course. That makes sense.

Yeah. Hey, Kumquat. Yeah? If I wanted, like, gross, weird muscles that don't actually make me stronger or healthier, and, like, tiny penis, do you have anything for me? Yeah, you can take gender eyes. Oh, me? Yeah, you can take gender eyes. No, we already take gender eyes. Well, I also

have something called Juice It. Or, no, I actually think it's called Juice IT. I was actually hoping for the one that begins with an H. Oh. Oh, there's also HGH slash steroid very strong.

Yeah. Human growth hormone! Yay! Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can listen to Human Growth Hormone. I hear their new album's really great. And if you want really buff

IT guys, you can listen to Juice IT! It's the IT exclamation point. Who doesn't want really buff IT guys, you can listen to Juice! IT! Exclamation point. Who doesn't want a buff IT guy? Think about it. Yeah. Yeah. What about if I wanted to go to sleep, but I couldn't?

Well, I mean, assuming you're so tired from all your muscles, you can listen to Lullaby with an E at the end. Wait, how do you communicate a lullaby with sounds? It doesn't make any sense. Spritling her kid, putting the headphones on his head. It's part of our daily regime. It's important to note that's not actually a lullaby. It's a sound that gives you the sensation not actually a lullaby. It's a sound that gives you the sensation

of hearing a lullaby. Yeah. And it promotes sleep and cell restoration. And chakra sleep. I'm glad they cut out the middle, man. Or wait, added an extra middle. I fucking, I don't know. Hey, that's super good, man. This is great.

I've switched genders back and forth. I'm slowing the the coloring of my hair um and uh i've had all sorts of penis problems but i wish i could tell what other people are thinking about me is there do you have a product where i can read people's minds um well yeah so we have this thing called telepathy. Yeah, so it helps open channels to achieve mind-to-mind communication. That makes sense, sure. But if you practice, it can achieve links between multiple minds. It's like a party chat, you know.

It's chatterbait. Yep, mind reading is cool, but I want to know what umami really is do you have something for me well assuming that I mean I know that you're a man of limited means you can't taste things normally. There's no way you can help him with that, could you?

No, no, you just can't taste things. Until now, if you listen to this, you can taste things. You can listen to our intricately designed audio doses prior to having a real life sense experience. What? What? Sportex, do you have any drugs you're looking at there? You eat with your fucking drugs. I'm about expanding my mind to the point where I can just see all of reality.

Alright, so we've got astral projection. Yeah. It helps enhance the interpretation of out-of-body experiences. And then it can test sex with women. So yeah, there's a drug that helps you see the future.

The only intent to tune extrasensory perception are clairvoyance dose opens gates that may allow you to create invisible and magical sensors at a specific location that can enable you to hear or see almost as if you were there. So they're literally saying it's magic, so that's cool. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. As opposed to the rest of these, which are grounded in science. That's right.

We got precognition. What? For those who truly believe, this is our endeavored enhancement of your inner eye. The improved foresight and fortune-telling qualities laced with premonition acceptance. Hey, that's awesome. I mean, that's super great.

I love everything that you're saying. It makes me really super happy. But I wish I was coming all over my sheets. You can help me come all over my sheets. I can. Those Power Rangers are going to be drowning in your jizz. Yay! Because we got the sexual exploration pack.

Oh, that wasn't the one I was talking about. All right. I'll do the one you're talking about. But when you're done with that, you can try smell. It's a sound that helps you smell. I can augment my taste with that. Because these people write muck descriptions. Wait, wait, wait.

Do you have a sound that can help me hear? Fucking don't be stupid now. You're just patronizing me. No, he does. It's just not on this page. But yes, there is one of those. Well, fuck me blind. And then give me a sound that will be stupid.

Hey, Portax. Hey, Portax. You're not one of those bullshit eye-dosing companies that tries to sell just one kind of chakra sound, are you? Oh, of course not. God, no. Don't be stupid. I have several chakra sounds. And then, Frank West, what do you got? I've got the love section.

Oh, all right. Notably the love section. Ooh. Oh. Ooh. All right. What are your secrets, Frank? Notably the smallest section. Oh, that's because these people don't need any help in that category. Of course. So, you know, you've got your standard things, your afterglow to make it feel like you already had sex. Ooh.

Oh. That's okay. I mean, your first love to make it feel like you've never had sex before, which that would be hard to simulate. Yay! Simulate the first time having sex! Hooray! But of course we've also catered to other tastes.

We've got the masochist, which is not for the faint of heart. It's the sound that makes you feel like you're feeling pain and you like it. This hurts, but you like it! Is that what it is? Like a German school teacher? This hurts! You enjoy it, Zol! Well, reportings of pings of pain in your teeth, like drilling, or under your skin, like you feel like you're getting a tattoo.

Uh, those, yeah, that sounds, ooh, that sounds super sexy. Yay. Dental pain. And we've also got Viagra, which is not, of course, the pill Viagra. No. It's a sound that makes it, you feel like you have taken a drug that would give you an erection. It's important to note that it doesn't actually claim to give you an erection. Okay, that's what I was going to be able to explain.

How many different kinds of orgasms can you sell me? I can sell you multiple orgasms. Ooh. Wow. Or I can sell you orgasm controls. Oh, sure. Or I could just sell you an ordinary orgasm. A run-of-the-mill orgasm. Vanilla orgasm.

You know, if you're... An ortogasm. They call it a borgasm. Hey, what happens... I'm experiencing the orgasm, and then there's a world of pleasures and vibration enveloping my entire body, what happens there? Well, you're experiencing a world of pleasures and vibrations envelope your entire body and soul. Yep. And then there's a release unlike anything you have ever experienced. What kind of assumption are you making about me?

A fair one. Okay, it's called an orgasm. You wouldn't understand. It's not underground. Oh my god. Jesus, I love this site. So, F+, what did we learn from any of this? No, no, no.

Our final and most important one is Wet Dream. Yay! Coming on my bed sheets! And just to be clear, that's not like Stop Having Wet Dreams. No. Although it does state in the front that it was not their intention to induce one. But it might happen.

If you listen to this, you could theoretically have a wet dream. That sounds amazing. That's really fun. Jesus Christ! What did we learn from any of this? If you want to know what I learned from this, you should probably

buy the Boots Reindeer Closing Thoughts Dose. It won't actually teach you what, let you know what you learned from it, but it'll make you feel like you know. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I, it reminds me of way, way back when

I was in school. There were some you know, just random like Wiccan girls or whatever. They were just kind of doing tarot readings and stuff. They were just fucking around. It was for fun. Who gave a shit? There was this one guy that would talk to me and just be like, oh man, I don't know. I don't know, man. I don't know about

them doing that. I said, what do you mean? You don't know what's going to happen if they do that card stuff. And I said, literally nothing will happen. Like, nothing. They're going to get bored and stop. Yeah, because people are just asking them for terror, he's just for fun, he's like, I don't know,

I don't think, I don't know. And I said, well, here, I'll have him do it to me, and we'll just see what happens. I don't know, no, you can't do that. Like, you don't know what's going to happen. I told him, literally nothing is going to happen. Literally, absolutely fucking nothing is going to happen. Yeah, but like, you don't know, man.

You don't want to mess with that stuff. And it's just fucking, it's the same fucking thing. For so many people, this shit is just science is just random blah, blah, blah, gibberish words. And then you know what thing happens. And so when you do, when you give them shit like this, they just believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Like sometimes I wish I could be one of these people for whom

literally anything is at least like one percent yeah yeah like yeah any like like they're like maybe i'll go around the corner and see a unicorn you don't know and it's like i i do know because i'm i'm an adult there there's actually there's a slight part in this thing that almost, like, whatever believability you would have in this concept is belied by the store. Because, like, because there's all of these different products that, you know, will try to sell you a legal high. And there's something about that that's possible. I mean, there's something where, you know, you could have, it's a bunch of caffeine or something like that. Or there's these legal high things that could somehow give you something. Yeah, it would be like a little bit up or a little bit down.

It's possible. It is possible. I don't think it's possible in audio, but then you're like, well, I don't know, maybe. But then the fact that the company that does this is willing to sell hundreds of products. Yeah. does this is willing to sell hundreds of products. It's like, just in case you think we're on the level,

we are not on the level. Yeah, it's just meant to trick shut-in nerds that don't actually know, like, obviously that had no idea what actual drugs feel like. So it's just, oh yeah, you put these things on your ears and something, something, something science magic happens

and then you're high. And if you're looking for a web experience that is sure to get you high, you should go to Bulbit for the low, low cost of $10. You'll see the font Cabin, which is like, it's well known that the font Cabin

produces hallucinogenic effects. And then if that doesn't work, then you can supplement your ball pit by hitting the flatter button on our episodes, and if those don't work, then I don't know, keep hitting the flatter button, I guess. You can download more

episodes, and it'll give you a dose of listening to an episode. It'll feel just like you listen. It simulates you listening to the episode. Alright, thanks so much for listening. Bye-bye. Bye. so i think that i think that we should just do a nice fun list of just like, just list out some of the other drugs that are available. I think we're actually probably pretty good.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I think we can just wrap it up. All right. All right. Because we're at an hour and a half, and I don't think there's much we want to cut out, so.

But hang on. Then if we read out drug names, we'll be able to read out drug names like anti-sad. I mean, I understand, I understand, but just know that we're going to leave that on the table. I already know what I want. Fuck. You want scissor? One apparently does the Kama Sutra.

I don't know how that works. One gives you telepathy. You know all those real drugs out there that give you fucking telepathy? This simulates those.