The F Plus - 164: Father Goose's Nursery Crimes

Episode Date: February 3, 2015

Mpreg is a term that means "male pregnancy". And if you know that, you've been on the internet for too long. But you're in good company, because we're gonna spend the longest hour of our lives finding out what mpreg means, what people who are into mpreg fantasize about, and what exactly they think is so sexy about the whole thing. This episode, I shouldn't need to tell you, is very very gross. You should know that going in. This week, The F Plus enters the Pregnancy Olympics.

What language is this? It was funny, but I wish they had the other guy pregnant, too. You think he's posting this from the public library? This one's gonna be disgusting. This is the F+, Terrible Things, Red with Enthusiasm. In the room tonight, we have poor Tex. My cock's a super soaker that fires toddlers. Jimmy Franks.

Dark villain came over to super guy and helped press on his belly while the superhero pushed. Two hours of pushing resulted in a 12 pounds baby. Boots ring gear. One is where a dating girl turns out to be the magical or a alien and can't get pregnant

so she gets me pregnant. Welcoming back a terrific submitter. This is Cheapskate. When I was 16, I used to fantasize about being knocked up by my hardcore feminist but exceptionally hot future.

And Lemon. The guy giving birth looked a lot like Robin Williams. I'm gonna keep my baby Oh, oh Papa don't preach AF+. Hey, Lemon.

Hi. How are you guys doing? Are you guys keeping all of your weight under control? Nope, I'm 500 pounds. Wow. See you next F Plus Live. That has been quite a weight gain then. I know, in the past couple months.

She stole all my weight. I'm looking pretty good these days. You know, do you remember, have you ever seen the fun gimmick t-shirts where it's like, I'm not fat, this is my baby kind of thing? Yeah. I think. Yep, I'm not fat, this is my baby kind of thing. Yeah. I think.

Yep, I see those every day. This is me struggling for a segue, because today we're looking at male pregnancy. That's good, because I need a segue too, on account of the 500 pounds. Yeah, what is male pregnancy? To be honest, I don't know exactly. I mean, I've always known that, like, M-Preg is a concept

and it's a thing that's sort of, like, written about and sort of talked about on the internet. So, I... I could tell you. Well, you don't need to, because Cheapskate here provided a document, and it is... Jesus Christ, how long is this?

40? No, 23 pages. So we got 23 pages of Mpreg, and we're going to get through some of it. It feels like 40-some pages. Yeah. And hopefully we'll be a little bit smarter at the end. So...

So let's start out here. We are going to mpregcentral.net. My site is so great, their logo is a broken link. This new comedy channel sucks. And Portex, if you'll just start us off here with Sgonvw. Sgonvw. Sgonvw.

All right. I'm Sgonvw. I joined in March 2012. Mm-hmm. I have 15 threads, 66 posts, and my reputation is zero. Yeah. Alright.

Do you ever imagine... I'll start that over. Do you ever imagine a world in which Npreg is normal? In a world. If so... In a world where no more babies come out of cocks. If so, that's what...

What's that world like? And how is it different from this one? Men get pregnant? Men have babies. That's the primary difference. Men have the same genitalia as women? No, not necessarily. Just you pee it out.

Also, the Nazis won World War II. I don't remember that in the new Wolfenstein. That happens in every parallel universe. It's true. As will become clear, I've asked this question to go on at length about my own vision of utopia. Okay.

The way I imagine it, heterosex would result in male rather than female pregnancy. That way, women won't exist because I'm misogynist as hell. No, no, no. It's just heterosex, so the same sexual thing happens, but

just men get pregnant at the end of it. Okay, so the man bites the woman's skull off and feeds it to the baby. Men would carry babies to term and give birth to them. That's not going to happen in this episode. Men would carry babies to term and give birth to them, but women would still breastfeed them. Thus, the bonds men and women form over children would be naturally stronger than they are in the real world.

You hear that, parents? If men gave birth and women remained nurturers, members of both sexes would be invested in life and production. Maybe this would check men's natural aggressive qualities, making them less likely to kill. Video truths. Okay. Isn't it great how this thing that I masturbate to is actually going to change the world and, like, lead to world peace? There might also be less coercive sex, fewer unwanted children, and less overpopulation. Sure, they might. What the fuck? Why not?

Sure. I guess what I'm describing is a world without hypermasculinity, or a world in which hypermasculinity is checked by having to face the painful grittiness and reality of reproduction. Well, okay. Great. Cool. Alright, let's get into the fucking facts of this thing.

Let's get deep into the facts of male pregnancy. I'm looking here at Baby Daddy. And here's a picture of him with his belly sticking out. So that's actually not a unique avatar. Like a lot of people on the site

have avatars similar to that. Yep. Got a big fat bull's tail belly. Still with hair on it. It's pretty gross. Alright. I'm Baby Daddy, and this is my Mpreg world. Since we all know that, as of

now, Mpreg cannot happen in our world. What kind of universe do you imagine Mpreg in? I have two, depending on what mood I'm in. One is a world very similar to ours today. Only the sexes are switched. Men get pregnant. Women? Only the sexes are switched.

Men get pregnant. Women have been the dominant gender throughout history. This is where my pregnant house husband fantasies take place. Oh my god, okay. The other is an all- The mood is sexual mood. The other is an all-male universe. Everyone's biologically male and technically hermaphrodite. Any guy can get pregnant or impregnate.

I tend to imagine my kinkier and dirty ideas happening here. One's biologically male and technically hermaphrodite. Any guy can get pregnant or impregnate. I tend to imagine my kinkier and dirty ideas happening here. I really want to fuck a snail. I want to fuck all the snails. But only in this universe. Do you think he came up with this concept first and then started masturbating? Or if he was masturbating first and then decided, hold on, hold on, I've got gotta come up with some backstory to justify this.

I need character development in my masturbation. Is that what your masturbation rituals are usually like? What am I really doing here? What's the point of this whole thing? What's my motivation? Just think about it afterwards. It's like backtracing trying to find your keys.

This is Duda. Hi, Duda. Yeah, I was just looking at what Goddess wrote about how I always liked male pregnancy to be a very rare thing or either a pure freak of nature that is unexplainable or it happens through magic or some underground scientist figures out a way to impregnate someone and uses it to torture them. Good, good summary. I pretty much think the same thing. The world I imagine is always about a boy that is part of an experience and gets impregnated. I prefer alien experiment. In the beginning, he doesn't know about it and figures it out only because his body changes a lot.

And I like bizarre body changes like a very big belly and a couple of big female breasts. Okay. I think fat guys exist anyway. Oh, I think they're more like he experiences a lot of pains because of the heavy belly and heavy breasts. I don't like that kind of story about a guy finds out he's pregnant and is super happy about it. I like it when it's completely bizarre and he needs to hide it from his friends in the beginning. But he gets big and it becomes impossible to hide.

He suffers about it and imagines how hard it will be to take the baby out. He's shy and needs to show to his best friend what's happening yeah have you have you considered more of just like a like a three's company kind of uh fetish as opposed to going going all out with this like you seem to be really into this sort of the awkward you know i like it when the pregnant guy has two girlfriends and they don't know about each other and he's got one in the living room and one in the kitchen and he's got to keep them separate.

This is just like with the sneezing thing where it's just like, I just like it when a dude's just miserable. Is anyone else into that? Yeah, sociopaths. I also like the sexual part of it. He's young and has problems with girls Has never had a girlfriend before And his body has female breasts

Now And he gets sexually attracted to them Yeah that's I'm not sure if he's talking about Attracted to his own breasts or his Girls but anyway No his own he's own like He grows breasts and he's like, Yeah!

I'm gonna fuck my own titties! I've always imagined like this. I like imagining it like an anime. It's like Goddess said, pure freak. I apologize if I said anything wrong because English isn't my first language. Smiley face.

Well, you did say something wrong but I don't think it was because English isn't my first language. Smiley face. Well, you did say something wrong, but I don't think it was because English isn't your first language. I'm HugeBelly, and I just responded to this post. Basically what happened is I quoted absolutely everything that Duda said, and then I said, I love anime!

This is great! I'm contributing! Hello, great! I'm contributing! Hello forum, I'm helping! I wish that guy went to every forum we've ever read and just said that, no matter what the content. I'm still eight years old and I still like fried chicken!

I like anime fried chicken! Anime fried chicken? Is that Curious Charisse there? It is Curious Charisse who does like anime fried chicken and would like to add interesting topic.

In my impreg world, I think that some men and some women will have the ability to become pregnant, while some men and some women will only have the ability to imp pregnant, while some men and some women will only have the ability to impregnate a man and or a woman. So it falls into the following. Number one, if a man can

get pregnant, then he cannot get another man nor a woman pregnant. That man can become pregnant by a woman or another man. Oh my god. This is getting complicated. Is this all written down in the monster manual? Oh shit We do different D&D jokes at the exact same time

Welcome to the F plus I was about to make a scatter dice roll joke But you guys beat me to it This reminds me of One of the logic puzzles I had to do on the LSAT Number two If a woman can get pregnant Yeah, this reminds me of one of the logic puzzles I had to do on the LSAT. Number two, if a woman can get pregnant, she cannot get a man pregnant. Number three, no woman can get another woman pregnant naturally.

Maybe with the help of an in vitro, but I don't usually go that route in my in-preg world. Who masturbates over in vitro fertilization? Wait, don't answer that answer so if one pregnant guy leaves san diego going 60 miles an hour number four if a man is able to get another person pregnant then he himself cannot get pregnant he can get a man or a woman pregnant number five if a woman is able to get a man pregnant then she herself cannot get pregnant is able to get a man pregnant, then she herself cannot get pregnant. She can only get a man pregnant. I kind of take the idea from the real world.

Kind of. That's a big, strong kind of. The reality show, right? Yeah. Where not every man and woman have the ability to reproduce. I also take inspiration from, well, penetrative sex. Hence, no woman getting another woman pregnant. Another flip on my Mpreg world

is where men are the only ones that can get pregnant by either male or female. It changes. As for roles, the idea stays the same as the real world, really. So, it's still a man's world, it's just that men have the ability to conceive. Why wouldn't it be? Men are mostly the breadwinners. However, women are the only ones to have breasts,

grow breasts, and therefore are the only ones that breastfeed. You fucking perverts. Hey! Hey, it's me again, HugeBelly. I just wanted to contribute again to this forum. And so what I did was I quoted absolutely everything that CuriousJurys said. And then I added, I love this, although I would love to have breasts in another world. Just like portals that lead to

your breasts. Maybe it's quantum jumping into the tit universe. Nice. Everyone's got gazongas. Gazongas at your nose, gazongas at your ears. Owee moe. Owee moe. Put an ass on those tits so we mow it. Oh, we mow it. Oh, we mow it.

Oh, we mow it. Put an ass on those tits so I can fuck it. My God, it's full of boobs. Hey, this is the boy with the belly. Oh, hi. I don't really like that children's cartoon. Yeah, um... I don't like that Paul Simon song.

My reputation is also zero. My universe is similar to the second one that Baby Daddy mentioned. Plus, I have some science behind it. Men and women both have a uterus and vagina, so both can carry and birth a baby naturally. Only women have ovaries, though, so they are still women in the scientific sense. All right. Yeah, you know, because ovaries. Likewise, only men have testes.

When members of the opposite sex copulate, the egg and sperm meet up, and based on any number of factors, the zygote will implant in the woman's womb or travel through the urethra and through a diverging tube into the man's womb. Wow. I'm expecting the word Illuminati to show up any minute now. I'm picturing it just swinging back and forth like a pendulum until it decides where it wants to settle. Cold, cold, cold.

Warm, warm, warm. It's like a game of Plinko. Oh, I can picture it. I'm picturing it right now. It's a longer trip, but there's still a 50-50 chance of either partner becoming pregnant. This results in a very exciting period when both partners suspect that they're pregnant but don't know which one is doing the real work. In some cases, split twins may occur when fraternal twins are fertilized and one implants in each parent.

Okay. Science, man. Yeah. Hot. Despite the fact that all... Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sexy, too.

Yep, yep. It's just like, I want to know if my masturbation's canon or not. This cum didn't count. Yeah. I know it's been retconned. This cum doesn't count anymore. Despite the fact that only women have breasts, I like my men to stay men, but

no hate if you like the alternative. I see the appeal. I don't think you do like your men to stay men, but whatever. There was a vagina and testes. That doesn't seem like a... That was unsightly. The sexes have always been pretty equal. Being the source of food,

women are sometimes seen as slightly more parental. Because they have breasts in the shoes. I thought they were cannibals. No, they have breasts in the shoes. Lady burgers, just like Dad used to make. But society still recognizes them on equal footing with men. Therefore, the parent that stays home is usually the parent that has the most recently given birth.

So that's my universe. Men and women both naturally enjoy the privilege of pregnancy, and I love it. Sure, it sounds super delightful. It does sound like a privilege to be pregnant in this universe. Check your pregnant privileges. Portex. Hi, I'm not Portex. I'm Hanabeth.

Oh, Hanabeth? Hanabeth. Which Hanabeth are you? I've met a lot of Hanabeths in my life. I'm number 24601. I'm the defective model. They released me into the wild hoping I would just die in the woods. Joke's on them. Defector model.

Take that, Darwin. That's right. I have a reputation of O. Still don't know what that means, but that's cool. This is my time to shine, though. Please don't take this idea. Where would I take it? Where would I go with this idea?

Who would I bring this idea to? What would I do with it? Kickstarter. It's your dude uterus. Your deuterus. Kickstarter. That's where you'd take it. Patreon.

With my impreg universe, my multi-fanfic universe, but I might make original stories down the road. Men can get pregnant by this potion known as seahorse blood that was created by a trickster god in order to upset natural order. Like the order of closing parentheses

on statements. When a man drinks it and has sex with another man within two weeks, they are able to get pregnant! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! And go, go, go! With the potion, it has been in the land of mortals since Middle Ages, and has been around

since even today. It has been around since even today. It has been around, like, ever since. It has been around since even today. Even today, it has been around since. It has been around since, even today. Even today it has been around since. Right.

When the child that was the result of the potion turns a year old, they will have a seahorse. Semicolon for no fucking reason? They will have a seahorse-shaped mark on the side of their arm below the shoulder. That's the color... That's in the color of the child's birthmark.

Jesus Christ what they have a birthmark a second birthmark that's colored like the first birthmark and then when the child turns 30 it turns red starts blinking and they have to renew but also children that were conceived by BDSM would have a bruise-colored seahorse mark and would also have higher pain resistance as sort of a defense mechanism.

So, in this perfect universe of mine, every child can imagine their parents having BDSM sex when they look at their birthmark. I love that it's like fetish-free association. You have to explain that seahorse-shaped bruise to CPS every time. No, my parents are just really into whipping. I know, it's gross too. I'm going to throw up now. This spell sounds great.

Can I make this at home? How do I make this? Yeah. Here's how it's made. Blood of a seahorse. Got it. up now. This spell sounds great. Can I make this at home? How do I make this? Yeah. Here's how it's made. Blood of a seahorse. Got it. Not sure. That's literally whatever. Peppermint leaves. Baby's breath. Mandrake root. And bayberry.

And that's how impreg is possible in my AU. This is the short version. Quotes for some reason. As long as there are men in power, there will always This is the short version. Quotes, for some reason? As long as there are men in power, there will always be a seahorse child within their walls. Human beings to the mob.

What's a mob do a king? What's a king do a god? What's a god do a non-believer who doesn't believe in anything? Fucking let's quote that for no fucking reason. I'm fucking, I'm gonna go slit my own throat now. I dreamed a dream. Bye! Sorry, I forgot I'm happy.

Bye! I dreamed a dream of common womb. I looked back on the beach and only saw one set of footsteps. That is when your daddy and your daddy were making love and giving birth to you. So one set of footprints, a big round imprint in the dong. Yeah, seahorse tail. Hi. Hi, everybody.

Hi. Hello there. My muppet. Oh, God. My name is Brimming Belly. My avatar is my big fat man belly and my big fat man tits. It looks like a screaming emoticon. Walleyes.

Like a fucked up bagel. I think that can technically just be called Pussy Naval. It's what Munch saw in a nightmare. Oh, that's why he kept screaming. All right. All right. Okay. So, BrimmingBelly04, I have six reputation. With all the excitement going on right now with the Olympics, it got me thinking, though it would obviously never happen, how could would it be if there were an Empreg Olympics?

What the fuck are you talking about? How could would it be? Yeah. How good would it be? So the baby, like, does a front flip out of the mangina and, like, lands and sticks the landing, puts their arms up and shit. Like, what the fuck are they talking about? Well, you know, it's in response to the...

It's like they luge out or something? Yeah, to the... To the vaginocentric woman Olympics. Listen, you don't fucking have to guess. You don't have to spitball. I've already done that for you. I think I'm a little bit more familiar with the Olympic Olympics than you anyway, asshole.

Okay, think of all the crazy events there could be. Like longest pregnancy, largest single pregnancy, largest multiple pregnancy, fastest delivery

etc I think the fastest delivery involves like a pit crew just fires them out like a human cannonball or something oh I don't like this Tijuana strip club okay what events would you want to see?

Boots, Boots, by which I mean Killix, what events would you like to see? Yeah, I'm... Oh, you're a Drifloon. Yeah, I'm Killix. Yeah, you are. I feel silly tonight. Separate categories available for singles, twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, and a massively multiple category for everything beyond that.

John and Nate plus a distended urethra. There's butt births and penis births. It'd be like pouring M&Ms out of a bag or something. Longest pregnancy. Fastest pregnancy. Largest pregnancy. Girth-sized. Largest pregnancy. Weightth-sized. Largest pregnancy, weight gained.

Fastest delivery. May have separate categories for vaginal, anal, penile. I fucking said it. And miscellaneous births. You know, ear births. Miscellaneous? Nose births. What is miscellaneous?

Ear canal? I cried babies one day. Longest in labor. May have separate categories from vaginal, anal, penile, miscellaneous, C-section births. How long can you handle a tough guy? 40 meter waddle. The what? The 40 meter

waddle. Greatest appetite with a side award for most bizarre craving. You can say the 40 meter waddle anytime you want. Just go to Costco. Yep. Most amount of milk produced. Or parks.

Most stretch marks. Biggest baby, which is not a thing I already covered. And most babies from single pregnancy. That's all I can think of for now. Literally!

Literally! There's nothing else in my brain what the except that little note at the bottom that's from pokemon we're gonna skip that wait I'm sorry what shut up

we'll ignore that um hey uh hey f plus uh yeah I just want to give a little poll here uh hey would you have a penis birth now don't answer just yet let me give you some options i'm gonna have difficulty answering this question you birth to a penis well i can't elucidate i mean you know the the pollsters just give me the script. I have to read it.

I don't want to influence your vote. But I have a soothing lie down inside a penis and give birth to Matt. That could be fun. It could be. Well, okay, so would you have a penis birth? Okay, so here's some options. Yes. Maybe.

Only if it was the only way for me to give birth, and not for any tning. You know, I'm starting to think you're not a real census taker. Why? Are you sure he's not trying to say, would you have a penis, bitch, and just misspelled it? At this

point. I sell those shirts down at the shore. At this point. It could go either way. I sell those shirts down at the shore. Next to the FBI female body inspector. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And cool story, babe, make me a sandwich. So that's my question to you, but Goddess, poor Tex, what's your take on this, uh, this penis birth thing?

Well, my reputation's nine, so, uh, I'm not just, uh, whistling Dixie here. Mm-mm, you got five stars. Yeah, I got five stars, just like Fred. I got four stars, actually. But, anyway, uh, well, since I don't have a penis, I'm not sure how to vote. Would I like to see a penis birth? Yes. Yes, I would.

I'm not sure if it's possible. I really don't think so, but many would disagree. I think the urethra is something that stretches over time, not quickly, the way the vagina does in birth. You have the oratorial approach of Donald Rumsfeld. Oh, is that not who this is? I can start over. I'm afraid to say I'm pondering this sentence.

I think the urethra is something that stretches over time. I mean, that's true. I mean, it's got to be, right? Like an earlobe. Now are you pondering it? Why wasn't Biggest Urethra Stretch one of the events in the Olympic? Most exciting sounding. Cheapskate, you have a very, very strong opinion on this

whole thing. Your name is HugeBelly. It's all one word, HugeBelly. And what's your opinion here? My opinion? Hell no! With three exclamation points. Well, good, good. I don't know why you're on this forum,

but I'm glad that you sort of have a nice moral compass. Yeah. No, here's why I'm on this forum. I'm sticking with anal birth. It, I don't know which one I'm discussing, would be extremely painful, and I don't want to see my members streaked, and injured.

Anal birth for me. My ass getting injured, that's fine. Isn't that just pooping? It's pooping babies. Yeah, pooping babies. Oh,

okay. Not a very successful R. Kelly song. So I guess the water birth probably would just be a given at that point. And then, finishing this thread up here

with Jimmy Franks, your sugar kitten cat face. Is that your pet name? Your name is sugar kitten, but then you did put a cat face on it so that we knew that you were sugar kitten. What's your title? There's sugar kitten cat face. This is sugar kitten cat face.

I'm a yummy male mommy. That's my favorite cereal in October. My reputation is eight. Before you start here, sugar kitten cat face. Yeah. I'm looking at your profile and you know, you're in the West of England.

And so just tell me a little bit about yourself. Is there anything you can tell me about yourself? Well, I am PM Friendly. Drop me a message anytime. You bet. And check out my X-rated M-Preg amateur porn videos at Pornhub.com. User slash sugar kitty. I clicked that.

Oh, why the fuck did you? Why did you do that? Okay. Don't click that. Oh, you want to know more about my bio well i've been into mpreg since i can remember i also cross-dressed but it wasn't until i became sexually mature that it became an erotic thing because you're sexually mature now. Now, now F-Preg slash M-Preg is my biggest turn on. Wait, F-Preg? Yeah, female pregnancy. Okay, fuck it.

You have to specify. I spent years trying to simulate pregnancy and now can do so in the comfort of my own flat. Wait, did you need to go outside before for this? Or like go to doctor's offices? I was doing it out in the woods, the grocery store.

Anyway, listen, the way I imagine the penis birth is as follows. The penis dilates like the cervix in a woman giving birth and then opens up around the head. Oh, boy. Which head? and then opens up around the head. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Which head? I'm not sure if it would be more or less painful than a regular vaginal birth.

More. More. More. Just, how is your geometry, idiot? I guess it depends on a large amount of variables. No, it doesn't. I mean, how big is your urethra?

Maybe it's a really small baby. Oh, God, you're done. Oh, thanks. Oh, boy. And then I'm going to take Mermaid... Mermaid... Mermaid Una. Mermaid Una. Mermaid Una. May I introduce

his Elvira teepees for a moment? Oh, I guess you have to, yeah. I'd just like to add the only good yet creepy part of penis birth is who can know or ready to push because the base of the penis will be shaped like the baby's asses.

So it's like a cartoon snake eating something. That is... We are now at... You will see the outline of the whole child the farther it goes. It gets into the penis. So it's like when a guy

robs a bank and he puts pantyhose over his head? That's what it's gonna look like? Yes. You'll know it's a boy because there's a shape of a penis in your penis. look like? You'll know it's a boy because it's the shape of a penis in your penis. And if you'll direct your attention over there to the TV

screen, you'll see that we are now at 100% Cronenberg. The Cronenberger meter is going off the charts. Woo! Woo! The Cronenberger meter is going off the charts. Okay, so I'm Mermaid Nuna, and I've participated in one thread, I think. So I would, if I had one, I actually really love the idea of penis birth. It would make the ordeal very painful.

Yes. Yep. Those two sentences right next to each other. Okay. But I think that in order to have a penis birth, that during pregnancy, the penis would have to grow wider. What? I don't get it. Why?

Then, while in labor, a man's penis would have to grow wider. What? I don't get it. Why? Then, while in labor, a man's penis would have to dilate, and he would have to slowly push the baby out of it. Guess I'm just a sick person, lol. This is just dawning on me.

Are you sure it isn't the sound of the baby bursting out of the penis? No, that's hello, my baby. Hello, my baby. Hello, my ragtime gal. Oh, it's a dick burster. All right.

Spaceballs reference. We've got a deep bunch of references tonight. Hey, young people, don't watch Spaceballs. It's not very good. You know what?

It's fine. It's not that great, but it's fine. But you should watch Robin Hood Men in Tights because that movie is objectively really good. Anyway.

Oh, yeah, that would be hot hot that's how I conclude my post because I like writing true things oh that's nice my name's Escon VW my name's Escon VW it seems to me neither the anus nor the penis is constructed

in a way that would make male birth anything like female birth. So for my scenarios, I imagine an opening in the perineum that line between the anus and the scrotum. I suppose birth of this sort would be easier for men with longer perineums, which incidentally has been

liked to high sperm count. So just get like a fucking zipper there anytime you want the baby to fall out. So just get like a fucking zipper there and just anytime you want the baby to fall out. Yeah. Yeah. Check out my taint zipper. This Kingdom Hearts game sucks.

Who's that? Howdy, this is Mark. I'm a crazy old coot uh back when i first started fantasizing about impreg also fantasized the birth being a penile one right of course never never really gave any thought as to how possible it might be back in the days of wine and penis birth how did you fantasize about it then those were the days.

Well, anyhow, I never really gave any thought as to how possible it might be. It just seemed perfectly natural that if a guy were to get pregnant and give birth, it would just be like a woman giving birth. With the only real difference being with a guy, the baby would be traveling a bit farther along because of a guy having a penis. It's not a playland slide. I'm trying not to. I'm trying not to. You keep trying to lead me into this alley and I don't want to go in.

When I first started writing out Mpreg stories, largely for my own pleasure, since that was when the internet was either not available at all to the general public or just starting to become available. I had this vague explanation that the penis was really very elastic and could handle having a baby that had been developing inside the guy for the standard nine months and that weighed several pounds go through it with no damage worth noting. It's almost like the internet made my life a lot worse. noting it's almost like the internet made my life a lot worse yeah but eventually i started wondering if that was really plausible and for a time considered having the birth be anal rather than penile you're not thinking about the child's best interests at this point

when was that ever a factor? Now, when I started writing hemp break stories to be posted on the internet and be read by others, I still liked the idea of penile birth a lot, despite the fact that it would certainly be a major owl factor by my own admission. As opposed to shitting out a child. Well, yeah. The idea, the more I read about the human penis, the more I realized it'd be hard to explain how a human

penis could handle having a baby large enough to survive on its own and go through it. So you're an evil robot. So I gave him old dog cocks instead. Something of an armchair urologist, you know. I must study up on this human penis.

This is unrealistic. On the other hand, why can't this baby get his nutrients from my feces? Like, education system has failed a lot of these people. A lot of them just straight up don't know what a dick is. Thanks a lot, No Shell Left Behind. Anyway, I toyed around with a few ideas, eventually decided on the ideas that you can read in the prologue in Brett's story.

The idea that some sort of genetic mutation would, among other things, make the penis more elastic, shorten the pregnancy by three months, and making the baby at the time of birth smaller. Is the explanation still a bit implausible? Probably, but it works for me.

Instead of doing that, you could have thought about something else. I mean, that was always an option. Nope. I got a lot of time on my hands waiting for my disability check to arrive so just kind of amuse myself with just like pick up

cat's cradle or something or I don't know knitting do that alright it's time for our first choice we have a couple choices here.

Let's see. Boots. Yeah. Would you like to read Pick the Anime Girl to Get You Prego? What, like the spaghetti sauce? Go out to the store and get me some damn spaghetti sauce.

Or Cow Transformation. Oh dear. Go out to the store and get me some damn spaghetti sauce. Or cow transformation. Fuck. Oh, dear. I'm going to go with the anime girl one. Oh, interesting. I need to scroll back up. There was no way I expected that choice. Yeah, I know.

All right. All right, great. Oh, boy, there are some terrible avatars on this page. Okay, here we go. Pick the anime girl to get you this page. Okay, here we go. Good. Pick the anime girl to get you preggo. Okay. Yep.

Told you. And he posted a couple times, so you can see that more than once. Oh, yeah, he does. That shows up quite a bit. Hi there, I'm Pregnus. And pick the anime girl, get you prego Yeah It's time to play

Pick the anime girl to get you prego I watch a lot of anime Yes you do As a result, I have a wide knowledge of woman in the genera from Sailor Moon to Lady Un from Gundam Wing I should read I have

no knowledge of women yeah so sorry my question to all you men out there is, which anime girl out of the entire anime universe would you want to get you knocked up?

For me, it's Toss-Up between Sailor Moon and Lady Un from Gundam Wing. So those are the only two that you actually know of. So, just wondering what the rest of you thought. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. My name's Amur Ray. Well, who cares? Ha ha ha ha ha.

I believe it's about which anime girl you would want to get you pregnant. And before I even stopped reading the post, I was like, Lady Un, done. If I had to be geeky, which I'm not doing yet, but if I had to be geeky, I'd say her Colonel Oon personality because dominant and glasses.

Vortex, what's that? What did I just read? They all want to fuck the girl from Gundam Wing, apparently. Okay. I did not know that the robot anime was the sexiest thing ever, but They all want to fuck the girl from Gundam Wing, apparently. Okay. Yeah. I did not know that the robot anime was the sexiest thing ever, but apparently. And then Cheapskate, ToboRP.

I know they side more on the video game side of things, but I'm thinking Felicia or Morrigan for Darkstalkers. There's something appealing about the supernatural slash monstrous element from them, and Felicia might even give me a whole litter. Tongue-y face with a wing. Another choice here. Jimmy Franks, you're always good at choosing. Oh, yeah.

Here we go. Choice number one. Choice number one starts out pole colon tentacles. Yes, please. The other one is also a question. The other choice is huge mondo question. Breasts. Man man that's tough if uh i've played day of the breasts and it wasn't that great so it does sound actually really good let's uh i i gotta i gotta we gotta go with

the first one i gotta go for tentacles all right all right. So, Jimmy Frank, start us off here. Your thread is, for some reason, entitled Tentacles, My Dear Watson. Tentacles, my dear Watson. So, my poll is the USA Today fast poll of the day is tentacles. today. Fast poll of the day is tentacles. And the options for answers are tentacles in my empreg. I think not.

Aw, so cute. Nope. Nope, that's clearly wrong. That's not yours? Okay, well, how about head explodes, body wanders away aimlessly. I mean, that's my fetish. All right.

How about the idea is kind of hot, actually. That one's far and away the winner with 50% of the results. And your final option. Where am I? What thread did I wander into? That's my answer. That's my answer right there. Well, clarify. What thread did

we wander into? I was watching an anime the other night and of course one of the episodes had your stereotypical tentacle scene in it. So I figured I'd ask what's you guys guys take on tentacles when it comes to mpreg love it hate it for me i'd be open to seeing it in mpreg more in pretty

much any role whether comedy horror angst whatever you think angst is a genre i think in anime it is you don't remember the tentacle scene from The Sorrows of Young Werther? Oh, yeah. That's pretty sad. I like the idea of a tentacle and break comedy. Yeah. So it's, like, knocked up, but even worse? I think that's the title of it, actually.

Seeing two tentacles at the same time. Guy slips on a banana peel, a tentacle gets stuck up his urethra, he gets pregnant. An idea that I find endlessly amusing is the thought of a young man getting impregnated by, and later married to,

a gigantic tentacle monster that keeps him in a kind and submissive housewife-y role. Just the concept makes me laugh. Or cackle. Maniacally. You're killing me, pig. Well, I have something to say about this. My name is Kalex.

I sound different than I did last time. Oh, Kalex. Welcome back. Yes, Kyx. I sound different than I did last time. Oh, Calyx. Welcome back. Yes, Calyx. I've gone on and on quite about... Okay, take two, because Jesus Christ. I am literate. I've gone on and on quite about about insect pregnancies here on this site,

and how I'm a huge fan of them. A close second favorite behind insect-themed pregnancies, however, is probably cephalopod. I love soft, squishy things, sometimes even slimy in the case of tentacles. No, really, I do! I'd call it an obsession! Fuck off. I know you don't believe me, but I'm a pervert!

No, I believe you. Could you please fuck off? No, no, no, let me spend more time convincing you. Put this bus behind us for more hours. I would sometimes just fill up balloons with water just to sit them on my lap fucking while and hold them. And I don't mean the thick, durable ones we Mupreggers use. I mean the cheap, flimsy party balloons that are extremely malleable when filled with water.

I find it hard to believe this isn't somehow connected with me being a fat admirer, too! What? What? That's crazy talk! Buffet and took one of each. Yeah. Fucking pitchfarsh. That looks disgusting.

That looks disgusting, too! But I digress. I think my ultimate story fantasy involves being impregnated by an insect-cephalopod hybrid inspired alien. Something

with the soft squishiness of cephalopods, but the for lack of a better term, culture of an insect society. What the fuck are you talking about? So I want my head to explode at the end. And oh yes, there will be tentacles.

Lots and lots of them. LOL! That's probably also why I have a soft spot in my heart for slugs. Soft, squishy, slimy, and more closely identified with bugs in today's society. I happen to think they're very cute. Keelix Stockpile 3! Shut up! To bring it back to the Cronenberg thing, this is probably the first person to ever jack off to Naked Lunch.

I hope that's true. I mean, I hope that's rare. I mean, but then, I mean, there's, I mean, Boots, I mean, think about it. There's a lot of scenes of a talking butthole in Naked Lunch. Talking butthole typewriter spider. Yeah, exactly. Huge belly contributes to this. You remember Huge Belly?

Previously, it was all like, hey, I'm totally into that, too. I love what you guys are into. Here's what Huge Belly says. This is just too weird. Sorry. Sorry, I'll do that again. This is just too wired. Certainly wired!

Alright, well, I still am failing to kind of understand some of the more salient concepts behind Mpreg. So I think the only thing that will really solidify everything in our hearts and minds and toilets is a story. So it's time. It's story time. Hooray. So, Cheapskates, which of these

stories that you found would you like us to read? Should we read Abduction? Or should we read The Mutant Octopus and Puss is Spelled with Two S's? That's how it's a mutant, abduction? Or should we read the mutant octopus and puss is spelled with two S's? That's how it's a mutant, obviously. Does that mean

he's scared of everything? I'm going to go with the mutant octopuses. All right. Well, both of these have tags that are fucking horrifying. Once again, Cheapskate put this thing together, so blame him. This has the tags, not safe for work, der.

What you reading? Quickie, rape, and hermaphrodite. So here we go. Jimmy Frank, start us off, please. Okay. Oh, boy. Yep. Yep. All right. Just because I'm going jimmy frank's curse all over all of us this is spitfire princess uh with the yes the mutant octopus just because i'm in a silly mood here is an mpreg quickie that isn't for the faint of heart, Smiley Face. Did you ever get into a silly mood and write rape?

Isn't that, like, so fucking silly? It's so random. It's so wet. It's fucking zany, that fucking zany rape he got going on there. Fuck off. Tuck got off of work early and was wiped out. He got into his car and started driving. All of a sudden, the world around him started to morph and distort like a

funhouse mirror. Panicking, he sped up and then, in a flash of light, he found himself on an alien planet that seemed to be made of water. He'd always loved... Act one. There it is. He'd always

loved the ocean, so he abandoned his car and started to walk around. Then all of a sudden, he started to feel the horniest he's ever had in his whole life. The need to fuck was so intense that he pulled down his pants and started to masturbate. I don't, well then he didn't quite, I mean there wasn't really much of a need then. This is a character I can relate to. One hand started to rub his ten inch cock while the other fingered his clit. This went on for about an hour.

He came multiple times. The last orgasm had brought him to his knees. I gotta say, if I had a cock and a clit, I feel like masturbation would just be too much work. That would just kind of be a pain wouldn't it you have to look at the schematics to figure it out a little bit of this a little bit of this that belly patting and head rubbing

conundrum it's like Rube Goldberg I don't know what the fuck to do he's just going through boxes and boxes of gold bond powder. That's a lot of area to cover when all of his cum had activated

some kind of portal. Yay! As it often does. And Tuck found himself in a watery room that appeared to have no exit. A bubble issued from his open mouth and at first he panicked, then noticed he could breath.

All was good, until a few minutes later, two gigantic eyes stared at him through the other side of the watery prison. I like to think of this as like a Buck Rogers story. Just another tale and tux adventures of things that happen when he jizzes. That's like the worst Saturday morning cartoon ever. Every week his jizz does something different and crazy.

Every episode ends with a cliffhanger. Cliffhanger? Cliffhanger, yeah. Okay. After the eyes disappeared, a table morphed into the center of the room. It was perfect because Tuck was tired from a long day at the strip club. He took his clothes off and laid down. The table was soft and conformed to his curves.

Then, out of nowhere, watery manacles clamped themselves down over his wrists and ankles. I like, I mean, I will say this, Spitfire Princess. I'm sure you're going to be showing us terrible things. But, I mean, stylistically, you're actually not a terrible writer. Like, there's a lot of, like, you know, show don't tell happening. Not a lot of preamble. I think that, yeah, I mean, like, I mean, these paragraphs are doing a lot of work, and I commend you on that.

So I'm sure I'll have a very positive opinion of you this whole way. Yeah, I don't even know what you're wearing on your legs. Mm-hmm. Which is rare for a story that we're reading. You're much better than the clown fetishists. His eyes grew wide, his gigantic tentacle shot out from every direction. One immediately shoved itself up Tuck's unprepared ass, while another

violated his vagina. Surprise, said Riker! Another tentacle had wrapped itself around his penis. Then a fourth started playing with his balls. I'll take over at this point.

Thank you. So relieved. Oh boy. and a fourth started playing with his balls i'll take over at this point thank you so relieved oh boy jimmy frank jimmy frank's gonna sit down and fan himself have a stretcher prepared we got an oxygen mask just off set you'll be fine he writhed and shouted in pain, and then it started to feel good. He thrust himself onto the tentacle in his vagina and moaned. The tentacle in his ass and on his package also sped, making

his orgasm multiple times. The slimy tentacles and tuck couldn't get enough of each other until the final climax he was aware of hot, thick seed filling his womb. All of a sudden his stomach and breast started to grow. More tentacles joined the other, stretching his ass and vagina as far as they would go,

filling him with more seed. Tuck retched at the sight of himself. An hour later his stomach and breast were so... The sight of himself? Also, here's a mirror! Yeah, two more tentacles held up mirrors. This is like that scene in Batman, right? Yeah.

The mirror! An hour later, his stomach and breast were so large that he could not move by himself. The watery walls of his prism seemed to be holding him up. Another hour passed, and soon he felt a splitting pain ripple across his back and his stomach contorted wildly. Fluids gushed from his vagina and ass, then disappeared into the floor of his cell. Tuck gathered his wits long enough to feel between his cheeks.

What? Okay, that's... Sorry. Tuck gathered his wits long enough to feel between his cheeks where his fingers met the head of something fleshy and strange. Then it dawned on him that the mutant octopus had knocked him up and was using him as a man-cow. Turned him into a shitty DJ. That's an awful lot to deduce from just that.

Fucking Sherlock Holmes. Oh, it's this again. Oh, goddammit. Thursdays, am I right? Why are you late for work Oh Tuck bared down with all his might in a deep squat Not having any time to pull off his boxers His poor erection was trapped under his massive belly

When the head of the anal baby Was out Another was sliding down his vaginal birth canal Bulging out his boxers Pain clouded his vision As he staggered onto all fours with his stomach squishing against the water. His arms and legs could barely touch the ground. He was that huge. The water seemed to sense...

These raping tentacle monsters are, like, super duper good at reproducing. That's true. And so the answer to the earlier question about how would you like to give birth as a man is apparently all of the above. Everything at once. All of my halls. The water seemed to sense what was best for him and shoved him back onto his feet. The anal baby's shoulders were stuck, so he continued to

give it everything. He continued to give it everything as he got the vaginal baby to start it to crown. got the vaginal baby started to crown. Boy, wow! Just at the same time? Am I still going? I'm still going? Okay, good. His box was ripped as he grunted.

He's going to look like Swiss cheese by the time this is over with. Actually, Cheapskate, take over for him. He needs a break. Alright. His box was ripped as he grunted and the anal baby slid out of him, covered in birth fluids. That's not, those aren't birth fluids.

You notice that instead of arms and legs, the baby had tentacles. Ew, that's gross! Then why did he have shoulders? If he had tentacles. Shoulders and then tentacles. This is the one thing with the story that I have a problem with. No, it's like the tentacles need something to hinge onto, you know?

There's tentacles and armpits. Yeah. No, that doesn't make any sense. The next baby starting dropping into his ass while the vaginal baby was fully born. Now the baby's going back into his ass? Yeah, it's like an orogoros. Wait, is that the vaginal baby was fully born. Now the baby's going back into his ass? Yeah, it's like Wait, is that the vaginal baby? Ass babies and vaginal babies

and they're all giving birth back. Doing a Chinese fire drill? Oh, there's multiple ass babies. Okay. The cord from the last anal baby was still inside him, stuck in all of the baby's crowding his impossibly huge belly

he had to know the cord and placenta of the vaginal baby just fine the next anal baby had come reach nearly getting caught on the last baby's cord some tension here

another vaginal baby was making an entrance just as the anal baby slid into the strange world on and on baby after baby came from both anus and vagina. I'm so glad that we've gotten to a point in the story where I've lost the ability to picture things. At this point, it's just the words anal baby, vaginal baby. There's no connection of those words to a real thing in the world.

You think maybe when they get older, the vaginal babies and the anal babies form rival groups? Like the sharks and the jets? Yeah, they all came out snapping their tentacles. When you're a butt, you're a butt. His poor anus and vagina were getting so stretched out that two and three babies would attempt to be... We're getting, yeah. Past tense. Yes. Two and three babies would attempt to be born at once.

It seemed like an eternity before he could feel the last three children inside of him. He pushed on his deflated belly and started to satisfy his constant hard-on. He didn't bother masturbating since he was currently a water slide for these mutant babies. That's a good reason to not bother. Tuck had also gone back to normal. Ass and vagina were nice and tight again, but no new clothes had appeared. Tuck thought he was done, but the tentacles came back for more!

No. To be continued. My name's Scorpion Claw 7682! Interesting story! You're welcome, I contributed! We can't end there, because that's a terrible place to end. I don't want that to be the last thing that anyone listens to. We need something...

What were his last words? Yeah, exactly. If any of us die tomorrow, that's literally the last thing, the last imprint we leave on the world. I always remember the last thing he said to me. So we're going to do one more story just so we can kind of transition.

It's still going to be an end prank story, but this is definitely, definitely walking this back a little bit. So this story is called Club Mammaries. Boots, you will be Chris.

Jimmy Franks, you will be the bartender, and I will take the narration here. Mammaries. Mammaries. Oh, you are so right. Club Mammaries. So this is a story Man-murries. Man-murries. Oh, you are so right. I'm so sorry. Club Man-murries. So this is a story written at the beginning of 2014 in the evening.

Chris walked in the door looking around the club. His friends had suggested this place to him as it was new and seemed to fit his taste. The club specialized in the idea of men with breasts. The club specialized in the idea of men with breasts, and all of the staff were either naturally, I'm sorry, all of the staff were men with either natural or surgically augmented bosoms. His eyes widened. They were really sued for gender discrimination.

His eyes widened at the sight of them all. So many guys with bulging shirts making his way over to the bar. He sat down and within moments someone approached. Can I help you, hon? As Chris looked at the bartender, his eyes almost popped out of his head. It was a man. At least he was fairly certain considering the club's theme,

but his blonde hair fell around his face and shoulders like a golden waterfall. Because metaphors are hard. It's supposed to be a ruby volcano. Baby blue eyes locked on to Chris's brown ones. His skin was peach and smooth looking, but that wasn't all. The man's chest was full-size. Easily D-cups or bigger. They rested on a basketball-sized belly,

which seemed to have settled into a widened pelvis. If Chris didn't know any better, he'd have guessed the man was pregnant. He had. Yeah, exactly. He can't be fat. That doesn't make any sense. I went to Club Man-Maries, and if I didn't know any better... He had heard of Men Capable of It, but he didn't really expect one here.

Again, at Club Man-Maries. He didn't expect one there. Yeah, it's my first time. Sorry. What do you recommend? Well, since it's your first time, you could go with the Tit Boy Special. No, no, whiskey sour will be fine, thanks. What's that?

It's served with a boy horny. The man grinned and groped his breast through his shirt. As much breast milk as you can stomach, hon. 20 bucks. An extra five if you finish both my tits and need someone else. Oh.

Chris gulped. You're making breast milk? But... The man just patted his belly. This ain't a pot gut, sugar. I got a baby bouncing around inside. Until he's born, though, my milk's on sale.

You want it or not, hon? Chris nodded and fished his in his wallet for a twenty, handing it to the man. The man grinned and walked around to the bar to sit next to him. I'm Lexi, by the way. I think it's a good choice for me. I'm a female.

Lexi slowly lifted his shirt up, giving Chris a good view of that smooth, perfectly rounded dome. When the shirt up, giving Chris a good view of that smooth, perfectly rounded dome. When the shirt got higher, Chris saw a pair of breasts contained in a lacy front clip bra. Lexi slowly capitalized. So the last name was slowly.

Lexi slowly unclipped his bra and exposed those thick, dark nipples. Well, you know, most men wear the wrong size bra. Well, go ahead, sugar. Get you some. Get some! Chris nodded and leaned forward, wrapping his mouth around one nipple. He slowly closed his eyes and sucked down all the warm, thick milk. As he did, Lexi rubbed a hand over Chris's head and moaned gently.

Oh. There you go. Drink your fill. Oh. Space immediately around the two grew quiet. Because everyone left. As Chris drank and drank,

Lexi's breast seemed to have an almost limitless supply of milk, and he was almost starting to feel full when Lexi signaled that breast was empty. Switch over, hon. Lexi smiled. Chris moved to the other breast and continued to drink. Despite how full he felt, he wanted to get his money's worth, and

he was so amazed by how thick and delicious the milk was, he couldn't have stopped if he wanted to. His jeans started to get a little tight from the milk, though. Of course, that's what always happens when you drink milk. It's just a normal reaction, right? I noticed there was a dude in my fat guy story that wasn't fat. What the fuck?

I've written myself into a corner now. Wait a minute. Chris is the Kobayashi of man milk. No, no, the other kind of man milk. No, no, the other kind of bad milk. Oh, yeah. A low gurgling and groaning emanated from Chris's belly. Making Lexi giggle.

Chris didn't seem to notice until a sudden snapping made his eyes open and his cheeks flush red. The button on his jeans had snapped off, allowing his bloated belly to spill out a little. Lexi grinned and patted that belly, making Chris let out a huge burp. Burp. You're a greedy one, aren't you?

Looks like you're full, though. I always fill them up. Come back when you're ready for more, okay? MMORPG fetch quest? Chris nodded and got up, slowly making his way to the door. As he went, he couldn't stop rubbing his sloshing belly

and letting out little burps. Blah. The end. I'm surprised there was no onomatopoeias in there. That's, I mean, yeah. I guess clearly they're just not in the verbs. I'm sorry. Blab. God damn it.

Yeah. So, F+, what was learned from any of this nonsense? I learned that some people have no idea how anatomy works in any capacity whatsoever. No, they do. They just shove through. Much like a baby out of dick. Is this what happens in a post-Fred Rogers world? You think the death of Mr. Rogers

is responsible for this? Maybe. I just want to blame something. All the male pregnancy episodes of Mr. Rogers? So this is just, you're just saying that this is just people just not getting enough hugs in their life? Yeah.

Maybe. I mean, yeah, sure. That could definitely be a cause it may be uh looking for maybe people looking for nurturing men in their life and associating you know pregnant equals nurturing therefore if a guy's pregnant then maybe he's not going to be an asshole like every other man i've ever met, like my dad. You think maybe these guys have mummy issues? It's possible. I think it's just as frequently female as it is male, too.

Yeah, there's a lot of girls that do this shit. That's true. Also, this is kind of a catch-all for anybody who wants to see something growing inside of a guy. So, I mean, there were the alien people with the bugs, the bot fly people. I don't know. It seems like anything that you've got a guy who wants a thing to come out of him alive,

they could kind of find a home in this community. Yeah. You don't really see the babies. As far as we know, as soon as all these guys in these stories give birth, they just toss the baby in the fucking trash and start over again. That's true. It's definitely the action.

It's either the being pregnant or the action of the pregnancy. Because I feel like there was sort of two different overall themes. And the thing that Cheapskate was talking about being the first theme of kind of like the sort of picture of a nurturing man kind of happening, and maybe the nurturing, like being forced upon a person,

I think was definitely like a hook. But I think the other one was just, I mean, genuine like male suffering was not a small undercurrent here. like a hook, but I think the other one was just genuine male suffering. It was not a small undercurrent here. There was a lot of just make them hurt! Make them hurt in their genitals!

In another thread which I didn't present to the document, they noted that the population of this forum is overwhelmingly Catholic. Make it up. Holy fuck, why didn't I guess that? We learned something new.

Man, that makes sense. Mystery solved. Well, that answers all our questions. And if your upbringing's fucked you up, come to Ball Pit. How do I get to Ball Pit? That's B-A-L-L-P

dot I-T. That's true. There's a whole section called, yeah, get to talk about me, and you can, I don't know, complain about your parents or whatever. Maybe don't. But, you know, make an account anyway. And the website is

T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S. It's got a whole new redesign looking real pretty. Uh, it's got a very big, uh, font size, which some people find super offensive and want to let me know. Um, but yeah, uh, do check out the website. There's a lot of cool new features in there. And, uh, if you want to contribute like, you know, 20-30 cents to a society that just put nightmares in your mind

you can sign up for Flatter and just Flatter every episode when you finish it because why not you know yeah

that's all goodbye bye have to come out soon have to meet the sun and moon and All the bagel mateys All the finger babies

If you like it then you should have put locks on it All the Kraft Singles ladies