The F Plus - 168: Sir Rev. Dr. Prof. John Kitchin Ph.D, Esq.

Episode Date: February 28, 2015

You've probably come up with your own beliefs on sex, politics, race, religion, and capitalism, but you're about to realize that all of those beliefs are wrong. And maybe that reads like a strong declaration, but I bet it would be even stronger if was in 24pt Times New Roman orange bold italics. We're reading the personal website of John Kitchin, a homelesss Ph.D with a lot of ideas and just as much anger. This week, The F Plus is sick of binary code.

Cocaine and Sibylacrum. No, no, no. You're going to search for it like cocaine. The other dangerous drug. Oh! Black as a song I'd rather die To give you control Welcome to the F Plus Podcast

A crazy place with terrible things Red with enthusiasm In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear And when Santa Claus say ho ho ho He wants three of them bitches Bunny bread Who taught tantric clergy sex. I'm not considered a very good lover, but an excellent teacher of sexual

things. Have not had sex in years, by the way. Jack. The only authorized restaurants are as follows. McDonald's, Burger King, Carl's Jr., Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, and Del Taco. Under no circumstances make a room. Come quads up. The page I wrote on this, I think, is the best article ever written

on the topic in all of history. Hi, Periodically Add Update. And Lemon. Love can be produced by placing the person's DNA into an electronic circuit to form a radiofrequency electronic oscillator. Works for me! Hey, Atlas. Hey, Lemon. Hi. Hello.

How close are you to knowing the truth? Like this close. My fingers are really close together. Not anywhere close. All the truth? Please teach me. No. The truth. Oh, the truth about cats and dogs. Yeah. Not anywhere. All the truth. Please teach me. The truth.

Oh, the truth about cats and dogs. Yeah. Love that. I got Amazon prime. I want to introduce you to a site called www.nz9f.com. That rolls off the tongue. This is the, what do you want to say? Screed? No, nine F.com. That rolls. Uh, this is,

uh, the, uh, what do you want to say? Uh, screed. No, the,

the personal site, uh, by my man named John Kirshner, PhD. Uh, I questioned both of those honorifics. Um, you mean kitchen?

No, I meant, I meant kitchen. You're absolutely right. John kitchen, PhD doctor. Um, and,

he has some truths to share, lots of them. He also has lots and lots of fonts. This is a site that Montreth was very, very, very excited about and was messaging me about frequently. So I think that we're going to learn some things. Certainly. So I think this is going to be pretty exciting. Let me start out here from the About Us page. This header is on each and every page,

so it does not look like the page change when you click a new one. You will need to scroll down after clicking on any selection. Hint, use Internet Explorer, and 125% to 156% browser magnification for best results. If you can do better than operating a search engine website, small university, food pantry, soup kitchen, two newspapers, political party, 3.2 million emails a year, write news articles, and provide psychological counseling all on $40 a month, then you are better than me, most reverend Dr. John Kitchen, NZ9F PhD.

So he just got one more honorific. Yes. Hey, are you new to San Diego? You will need two identification cards, one from the Jewish Protestant Mafia at 299 17th Street and the other from the Catholic Mormon Mafia at 15th and Imperial. Click here for more info. Caution

that those are the places that are both in Machine Gun Alley, the core of the Bottoms Ghetto. I should point out to anybody listening to the podcast who is not seeing this website, just know that no matter what words you're reading on the page, it will be a different color than the word five words before it. Yeah. And possibly a different font and or size.

If you're at work, if you're on the bus, wherever it is that you are that you're listening to this podcast, you don't have to read along. I know some people like to do that. Some people don't like to do that. Whatever it is, your choice. But you should absolutely just bring up nz9f.com in a web browser. Just look at it for just a minute.

No, not a full minute. No. I mean, it might be a bit long long but just to get a perspective of uh what's going on here so uh let's start out learning a little bit about um about dr john kitchen i'm sure that's uh that that intro was helpful uh so boots if you'll scroll down to about us that's the it's giant red underlined text. Oh. And then there's blue text that's also underlined in red next to it. There's a shopping cart that says homepage, and then there's a mortarboard hat that says Milwaukee Free University.

Wait, there's text on this page? Yeah. Yeah. Try to read it. Originally formed because of the inability to locate resources via San Diego 211, either by telephone or on its website, NZ9F.com is a search engine... Yep, sure is. For specific information... You're learning more every day!

For specific information which impacts poverty and homelessness in San Diego. There are lists of hot meals, food pantries, commodity and food bank sites, non-profit service providers, medical and psychiatric providers, and way, way more. In addition, there are college courses online, courtesy of what's left of Milwaukee Free University, with no tuition nor enrollment required. Hey, Boots! Boots, Boots, Boots! Boots, I have a very enrollment required. Hey, Boots! Boots, Boots, Boots!

Boots, I have a very important question. Oh, yeah? You know the part on a website where you have a picture of a gorilla giving a thumbs up? Yeah, yeah. And it says humor underneath? You know that part on the website? It says humor, yeah, okay. Will you read the part that's under that standard piece on the website?

Same page. Same page. This website also contains both public indexes and secret ones. One of the many public indexes is

the publication help page, PH, at www.nz9f.com slash PH. Okay. It gives arrows,

boxes, buttons for go-to clip art, links for free online photo processing, type over photos, icons, backgrounds, wallpaper, etc. for publishing your website or newsletter. It also has subpages with more info. All right, good. So now I know a little bit of the site.

Now I want to know a little bit more about the man behind it. So, Bunny Bread. Yes, yes, yes, good. So now I know a little bit of the site. Now I want to know a little bit more about the man behind it. So, Bunny Bread. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I need to learn a little bit about Dr. John Kitchen. So you're going to start off with the headline, How Intellectuals Become Homeless, My Personal Story, Rules Typical. Oh. First, I present the condensed version of all this, as it is lengthy.

The complete text is below, along with updates in the lower right and ramifications lower left. Great, cool. The story of how I became homeless by Dr. Ph.D. Kitchen John 9-A-5-A, but patterned after Goodwill Industries. Okay, yep, Goodwill. I operated a non-profit sole proprietorship that was a place which employed 26 people

who probably couldn't get a job anywhere else for a variety of reasons. President Reagan, you may have heard of him, had the country in a recession, a capital recession. And many of them were too young, too inexperienced, too old, or even too intelligent to get a job. Myself included. He was all of those.

I'm all of those at once. He was young and too old. Nobody would hire me. A price at 40 million in today's dollars. I ran it as a heating and air conditioning business, primarily to employ people as telemarketers. But selling the cleaning of homes' furnaces. I learned something very disturbing early on. Certain elderly people became very disoriented in winter if they had exhaust leaks into their home from furnace quit.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. What? And then you take their jewels. winter if they had exhaust leaks into their home from furnace quit oh dear oh dear what and then you take their jewels even extremely small leaks gave them some of the symptoms of alzheimer's i wanted to look at every furnace in milwaukee and test for leaks i believe it to be caused by oxides of nitrogen uh well scroll down, scroll down to the church groups, please. Oh, my favorite. I want to just, if someone could keep a running tally of how many times in this episode I say, scroll down to... The church groups.

To the Mormons, I was a business competitor. And to the church competitors, adjust the appliances how they have it. I, too, was a manufacturer of underwear. You've won this time, Mormon Inc. Alright. And convincing competitors unjustly of crimes is how they handle competition. They sent

out agents to many of my customers to try to convince people that I had somehow cheated them. Alright. Mostly they failed. Because although many of my customers were elderly and could be talked into lots of things, not that I would do that, the bulk of them were smart.

Not stupid. Uh, I feel like you contradicted yourself just a smidge. You'd be wrong. I think that'll get resolved. But, I mean, my question is, are there any other players in this conspiracy?

Funny you should ask. The Jewish cabal played a major role in this as well. Yes, the Mormons and the Jews, the best friends forever. BFFs! In three ways. First, the peer review board of the Jewish so-called

Better Business Bureau, which is a group of business competitors that have a vested interest against competition, started spreading lies about what I was doing and how I was doing it. Secondly, the Jewish television media made me look both unethical

and criminal, demanding action from the local district attorney, if look both unethical and criminal, demanding action from the local district attorney, if that was his real name. Third, the cabal themselves, in the form of such groups as Court Watch, jammed the courtroom at my trial, abusively interfering spiritually, medical term, not religious, so intensely. What? I'm also a doctor. It's in my name.

Oh, you're right. Yep, yep. Fair enough. Doctorate and a PhD. Yes. So, interfering spiritually so intensely and so extremely that I could not even think straight, much less advise my attorney. And I represented myself, so.

For a discussion on how that is done, see some other page will have to scroll down agree they actually had several expert witnesses lie at my trial were they experts at lying yes indeed that's what we are in retrospect it makes sense two of them have since apologized sorry about the line so i i have another question i If you scroll down a little bit, did you spend any time in prison? Say, just above the scapegoats section? I did spend time in prison, and that was an education unto itself. At least 80% of everyone in prison did not commit the crime that they were sent there for. Whoa! Fancy that!

Fucking! Why have I not seen that HBO documentary? I was surprised as well. How do I know? I volunteered as free legal counsel and found that many had absolute and irrevocable... Wait, from within prison?

Yeah, he volunteered to visit prisoners in prison, while in prison. Why not? You know, like you do. I mean, you know, you can't fault them for convenience, can you? And found that many had absolute and irrevocable proof that they did not commit the crime. Things like ATM receipts, you're allowed to keep those in prison after you've been convicted. Sure.

Picture included. Picture. They had picture, one of them. No, no, no, no. You know, like when you go to the 7-Eleven, you buy a pack of cigarettes, sure picture included picture they had picture one of them no no no you know like when you when you go to the 7-Eleven

you buy a pack of cigarettes they give you the receipt and then they take a picture of you oh yeah

and then put it on the receipt memories the old photo receipt I used to get a caricature drawing of

every time I was a little boy you used to cigarettes do you like roller skating yes here's your cigarettes. Do you like roller skating? Yes. Here's your balloon animal receipt.

M14 fighter jet. Oh, cool. I'm flying a kite. Things like ATM receipts, picture included, that prove they were someplace else. And when I contacted the press, they always made matters worse. Isn't that just the way? They were in on the corruption. In fact, they were often responsible for the corruption.

So, now you know. I'm going to try and just not do, like, every network reference I can think of. If we'll scroll down. So, you had a trial. The Jewish cabal, the Mormons involved. You went to prison. Did you learn any lessons? Were there any lessons learned?

Hmm. Well, there was the learning that all government, including the criminal justice system, is 6 million percent, at least, corrupt. That is the kind of percentages that they used to use on Maury Povich, isn't it? I'm a hundred and thousand percent sure that ain't my baby. Yep, yep. Six million percent, at least. Corrupt. Caused me to lose faith in...

It might be more than six million. At least, yeah. Six million and a half percent, I think. Corrupt. Caused me to lose faith in everything I believed in. I saw corruption as early as the university, where many organizations wanted to get bogus research published to further their political goals in return for million-dollar grants. I thought that to be the exception, not the rule.

I believed in the law, religion, the truth of the news media, and all that, until one day the media started to lie about me. Oh, come on, media, get it together. Yes, media. And the lies continued. I was very upset, especially because something I held sacred had been compromised. What, the news media? I always depended upon the 12-vision news to tell me what was going on.

12-vision? To 12-a-vision. Yes, on Channel 12. I always depended upon the television news to tell me what was going on and what I needed to know. And of course, we do not unjustly convict people of crimes. Now do we? I mean, if you can't trust Wolf Blitzer, who can you trust? So that's all great, but what's

your ruling on this? Hmm, let me think. My judgment is that the Jewish Kabbal, Mason Knights Templar, and Latter-day Saints pay criminal restitution jointly. I'm sorry, what? Yeah.

Shall I repeat? No, this is great. They should pay criminal restitution jointly and serve severely liable for the crime of intentional obstruction of justice. I ask a minimum of $1 billion in very fair damages. That's very fair. Very fair damages. Highly fair damages. That's very fair. Very fair damages. Highly fair damages. All things considered.

And an additional billion dollars. Pro-rated overtime. Because I was worried that that was it. Just a billion dollars, right? No, pro-rated overtime for each year past January 1st, 2013 that it takes to resolve this.

This is $83 million a month, in case you're wondering. Okay, so a bunch of organizations that don't exist, except maybe the Mormons, should give him a bunch of like, just fuck-tons and fuck-tons of money because? Wait, are you saying the Latter-day Saints

and the Jews don't exist? He just doesn't believe in the Jewish cabal. Oh, okay. He's one of those. Oh, yeah? Well, who did 9-11 then, huh? The Latter-day Saints, obviously. Oh, whoopsie. Get it together, Bunny Bread. Come on. I feel like an idiot.

So that's cool. We know that Dr. John Kitchen is a victim of circumstance, and that page, God, does it keep going. Yeah, it does. Just keeps going. There's stuff in bold, there's stuff that's not in bold, and there's stuff in red. So instead, we're going to leave slash me, and we're going to go to... Lemon, did you notice that it's to be continued?

Yes, it did. I might go to prison again. So we're going to leave slash me, and we're going to go to www.nz9f.com slash Jesus. That sounds like a check page to me.

Yeah, it does. Actually, if we'll just start off here, I got this is like a 20, I want to say 26-point font, Jesus page in red, bold, underlined, page in development. Where would you like me to start? Oh, just start at the top there. Jesus of Nazareth was born.

Okay. There's a top? Yeah, you have to scroll down past the top to get to the top. Yeah, you have to scroll down past the top to get to the top. Jesus of Nazareth was born on March 21st, 4 BC, the son of a Roman soldier and a Jewish temple prostitute, virgin named Mary Magdalene. Oh, wow, that's rewriting everything.

Wow. She was a well-educated and high priestess. Jesus was her third child, as was the custom when a temple virgin becomes pregnant with the third child she's given away as a wife. The unmarried men... And then everyone looks into what the word virgin actually means. I doubt he even knows

what temple means. The unmarried men, boys in Judaism, assemble and place their staves, staffs, walking sticks, into the ground. A dove is released and whatever staff it lands on gets the virgin. In honor, she is holy.

Joseph, a member of the Nazarene cult, won the honor. The Nazarenes pioneered carpentry and so were permitted to operate their own religion within Judaism, a religious order. Thanks for clarifying. So it's not a sports team, okay. Everyone was Gnostic and

contributed their blood and or semen to all of the food of the group. One for you, one for you And here's one for you They also had group sex And sex with their own children Sure Adding a high priestess got comments all the way from Rum

The emperor saying This is a perversion of religion The only good thing to ever come out of Nazareth is very fine carpentry. Well, that's Jews for you. So why did we hire Louis Tully to do this sermon? Jack Chick, I found your inhaler. Just take a couple puffs on that.

Maybe it'll calm you down just a little bit. All right. Keep reading, then. Jesus was precocious and got spiritual and sexual help from his mother. Studied Buddhism as a young child. He certainly did. That's about right. Preached as a young child and even got into trouble because Buddhism is blasphemy in Judaism.

Blasphemy is anything going against the established religious truths of a specific region. So even- AY! A true sentence! Oh wait, no, that's a comma. Never mind. Jesus of Nazareth lived on rooftops, homeless much of his life, but attracted a following, including rich people. Buddhist preacher, he taught forgiveness instead of revenge,

alms for the poor, emphasis on one's own relationship with God instead of one's relationship with the temple, and so on, all Buddhist principles. Buddhists do not believe in God, except as a symbol of the power of the universe. God is not a being. Buddhists, then, are just atheists as atheists as us ancient pagans.

Wait, pagans are atheists, too? Yes. Okay. They believe in multiple gods that don't exist. Just, you know, because, I don't know, I guess it would look cool. I like rocks. I like to stay rocks up. Pretty cool.

I like your dumb atheist character. He's good. That's a dumb pagan, thanks. Oh, yes, I'm so sorry. Right. Rome noted Jesus, its religious being ancient pagan, and frequently sent undercover agents to see what he was all about and maybe trick him into saying something punishable. His band of followers grew large enough

that he had to take up residence at the Jordan River, where some accounts have him running into John the Baptist. Other accounts say the two lived hundreds of years apart in history. Saul, an ardent Jewish leader and a potent of Jesus, infiltrated Jesus' camp in an attempt to harm it. Jesus introduced him to Buddhist love. Oh, yeah. Slow down.

Linger on this part. My apologies. Jesus introduced him to Buddhist love. Hundreds of times more powerful than in Judaism. And Saul became converted to Paul. I want to know, what were the... So that's a little bit of the story of the history of Jesus. What about the Roman Catholic priests?

What are they up to later on? Yeah, well, so the Roman Catholic priests have many wives called nuns, a religious order being a group marriage, including sexual, involving many people. They also fill orphanages with children, as the church no longer uses abortion nor infanticide as it did for a thousand years. Okay. Yeah. Hey, guys, I got an idea.

First, let's stop doing this. Then let's talk about it all the time. Priest pedophilia has been a secret part of the religion all along, too. I mean, for a while. The Jews do not like to talk about their virgins, temple prostitutes, either. Only we bishops write about these things, and only for a seminary course like this, too. Wait, he needs another title on his name now. Are you a bishop?

Yeah, he was a reverend on a previous page. Father, doctor, Robert Kitchener. Can you be a bishop and a reverend? Yeah, he got promoted on the previous page. Persecuting priests for pedophilia breaks a 2,000 year tradition. I mean, I mean, there's, yeah,

I mean, kinda. About 15 of them tried individually to seduce me when I was a young boy going to Blessed Sacrament Grade School in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. No success there, and made me an atheist as well. All at once, I was like

a gang. Come on, buddy. Hey, fresh meat! Still, I earned... They're banging on, like, cell bars with cups. Altar boy, come out and play! Still, I earned both Cub Scout and Boy Scout merit badges for Catholic religious participation. Well, then you were diddled. I mean, guaranteed.

Yeah, you don't get that shit for free. The reason for the priest's lack of success with me is that I was fed such a huge quantity of Holy Communion, plus school lunch food, containing such a huge quantity of human DNA, blood, and semen, that I could not feel human love at all for much of my life. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh my god. Until age 37.

After that, it took 20 years to age 57 to recover from the religious victimization. I write more about my victimization on another fucking page. Yeah, but what about your first religious victimization. I write more about my victimization on another fucking page. Yeah, but what about your first religious victimization? Well, my first religious victimization was at the hands of the Jews, where the main nerve endings of my penis were cut off at just seven days of age. I remember it well. Leave the foreskin!

Just get the fucking nerve endings! Circumcision is the exact equivalent of cutting out the female clitoris. It guarantees that the victim can never have complete sexual satisfaction in their lifetime because the nerves that have to do that have been cut out of their body. Okay. Then what? I would continue to be hugely victimized by other religions my entire life.

They were cutting off my balls and then, you know, the glands. They were cutting off a lot of my dick. They were cutting off my balls and then, you know, the glands. They were cutting off a lot of my dick. That's a pretty, actually, that's a pretty good summary of Satan in general. Continued to be victimized. All right. So that was nz9f.com slash Jesus.

So I think we all know what's next. And that's nz9f.com slash fish. Okay. Shit. Yep. I was going to say superstar. Come Quatsop. Okay, you're going to scroll down.

Yeah. And what's the first headline on this page? The actual text that I'm looking for is, Successful lying is the second most productive Oh, there we go Yep, yep, yep Yes, successful lying is the second most productive tool That one can possess socially behind flirting, unfortunately Okay, That is unfortunate. Uh, business,

sales, marketing, relationships, family, ministries, all require being able to skillfully lie and yet be believed. I claim that the most skillful liars of all either become news anchors or political candidates.

Zing. I, yeah, let me tell you. What about pussy seekers? Cause, yeah, let me tell you about airline. What about pussy seekers? Because I've done okay. We call people who are skilled at telling lies, yet they get believed, professionals.

Yes. That is literally what that word really means. I don't think that's true. It means news anchors? This is like a failed Michael O'Donohue sketch. Alright, that's probably the joke. Getting back to sex. Forget it.

Getting back to sex. Oh, thank God. Yes. We all want to get back to sex. Yeah. The difference between a friend and a relationship is prolonged periods of time in which sex

occurs, period. Alright? No other difference. Okay. That means friends have very brief sex? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you've been drinking at my house. Yeah, booze, come on.

This is true. You wake up with the bruises in the wrong places, come on. And that was the fastest sex, really. It was, like, record fast. Yeah, I mean, come on. Just, shh. No, I know. It was great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what I loved about it.

And sexual compatibility is one of the easiest things to tell about a person. Do you got a vagina? I bet you we could have sex then. Does my bit fit in your bit? After their appearance, smell, and chat. Yo, can you hop on AIM for a second?

I just need to check something out. That's how you flirt, right? I like the smell part. How often should I smell my girlfriend's butthole? We humans jump right into bed. If you do not believe that, go back to kindergarten and start learning to be a human all over again.

Oh, yeah. Bringing the real truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do we fuck first and ask questions later? Because we don't like the questions as much as the fucking. Also, I don't ask questions. Yeah. So, you got a way to get home, or?

Is it, is Brenda? Not Brenda at all? Okay, I'll just go. Are you a dog? Because it takes many years to really get to know somebody, and we cannot waste all that time only to find out someday that we do not get along in bed very simple. Everything about this has been very simple.

Yes, you're right. Yeah. Hey, Dr. John Kitchen. Hello, yes. Dr. Bishop John Kitchen. Yes. What gives you the best possible orgasm? I'm sorry, the greatest possible orgasm.

What gives you the greatest possible orgasm? I'm sorry, the greatest possible orgasm. What gives you the greatest possible orgasm? Me or you? I mean, rhetorically, you. What gives the human race the greatest possible orgasm? Hey, hey, hey! You have already taken this person to bed, so that is a valid question to ask. Taking a human race to bed? That sounds about right.

Yeah. How could world peace be attained? Orgasms. What is your concept of God? Orgasms. Yeah. Why do you vote the way you do? Why do you ask so many questions, kid?

Suck in the dick I already had sex with you, that's why Oh, God, one of those You brought this on yourself What are your religious beliefs? Have you had emotional problems? Do your parents get along? Orgasms

Do your drugs and alcohol get along? What are your sex fantasies? Orgasms Dream about Orgasms. Your drugs and alcohol get along? What are sex fantasies? Orgasms. Dream about. Orgasms. Ah. Ah. Sounds like a shrink.

Yes. We are getting a gentle person out of this process by being both lover and shrink at the same time. Eventually, this is easy. Since it takes so much long to get to know someone, you absolutely must have more than one lover at the same time. Eventually, this is easy. Since it takes so much long to get to know someone, you absolutely must have more than one lover at the same time. Oh!

Of course! Of course! Right. Oh, it's so good. It all comes back to the Mormons. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you might be Penn Jillette now. Anyone who demands to have you exclusively or even worse, calls you a slut, you must immediately be dropped like a hot potato! Oh, I finally remember writing

this now. Okay. You gotta give them a hard sell sometimes. Yeah. If you learned nothing else, learn that. You may need to file several restraining orders. What? What the hell?

What is way better than having to hand in your life to someone first and then having to file one? Hey, Dr. John Kitchen. Your excellence. Hi. It makes a whole lot of sense what you're saying here. Yeah, I know. I just want to have one, hello. Hi. It makes a whole lot of sense what you're saying here, but... Yeah, I know. I just want to have one sex partner. No.

Can I just have one sex partner? No. Seriously. What? No, just one sex partner, sorry. Just one human will be fine. That's what I'm looking for. You want just one sex partner?

That is like having just one vegetable. Say broccoli. Okay. I like broccoli. Okay. I like broccoli. Me too. You want to fuck broccoli for the rest of your life? Yes. Kind of.

Okay. Did you put your blood and semen in it? It's important to consume enough human DNA with every meal. Yeah, yeah. Or just one flavor of ice cream, perhaps. Vanilla. You and they will get tired of just one choice and break up. Yeah, break up with your ice cream.

Choosing tonight's lover is as important as choosing tonight's wine or dinner entree. Our specials are we have a lovely Bernadette. A lovely schnauzer. What pairs with this broccoli? And just as much fun to

jealously as for insecure wimps who want to control you, the same kind that eventually want to beat you into submission, do not get beaten up, now that you know how to avoid it. Yeah, fuck lots of people, then you certainly

will avoid all of the crazy people. Yeah. It worked pretty well for you, right, BunnyBrun? Oh, shit, yeah, my god. P.S. I'm dead. Uh, alright, well, that was, shit, yeah. My God. P.S. I'm dead. Alright, well, that was nz9f.com slash fish. We are now going to nz9f.com

slash God. Good. I've heard of him. I'm going to scroll down to the God page. I would like to give you the details of a meeting that I had with God around 1990. Did you make a deal with him? Was it on your calendar?

God does not photograph, but many have seen it, the creator. So I looked on Google Images for a few representations of God that may be accurate. I will eventually do my own artwork for greater accuracy. So far, knowing what God looks like is one of many controls that separates the pretenders from the true Gnostics. Those who know God in person and have looked at it. No, I think that's, I think that is

have looked at the IT department. Yeah, information technology. I was totally trying to avoid that joke, but, you know, pulled me back in. Sorry. I want people to be able to identify God if they encounter same, and there are a few things unique to the experience of meeting God and looking directly at God.

God is nothing at all like the religious ministers brainwashed you to believe. So what's God like really? Well, it seems like the religion business was taken over by Satan years ago, and I wrote that in my biography calling it the parable of Satan. It tells a story. For those of you who are wondering why I am so strange, well, meeting God will do that. What did God do to me? It certainly goes that way.

It's certainly not the other way around. It's a pretty long T-shirt. Most of us shut up about it for several reasons. First off, we get treated like lunatics. The psychiatrists want to call us delusional, schizophrenic. And since meeting God is almost always accompanied by meeting angels, too, well, we treat anyone who has encounters with UFO aliens, angels, as a nutcase. See what I did there?

Angels are actually aliens. That makes sense. Not true, I guess, apparently. Yeah. The government wants those who have met God to shut up. The monolithic world government. Yep. Because we contradict what they teach.

And religious leaders call us evil, demons, and Satan. All three of the ones. Yep. Because we contradict what they teach, and religious leaders call us evil, demons, and Satan. All three of the ones? No good. Talking about UFO aliens, angels, meeting God in person, and all that is just as taboo as speaking about how much blood and semen goes into Holy

Communion. Yay! Is it a lot? That's bad for religious brainwashing. I already talked about Holy Communion. Holy shit. This ain't the Catholic Church, XXX. Personally, I thought

Holy Communion 9 was the best of the series. Yeah. Ass angels. Please tell me this is going to tie into that Metallica album cover. Yeah. I don't...

What? He's making a joke about load. Yeah, he's making a joke about load. Oh! Wow. The limitations of God include its inability to touch anything. He must use solid creatures to do that.

And it must use science and scientific procedures. God's biggest asset is that it can stop a reverse time to get a different outcome. Powerful guy or gal or thing, it. So I asked God, why me? And was told that it had to do with my being both an atheist and victimized extensively by religion for years. God was extremely pissed off, too. I... How are you an atheist and you believe in God?

No, no, no, you're not allowed to know. No, that's why God chose me, because I'm an atheist. Stupid. I mean, I am. Notice I didn't put that in past tense. I am an atheist. And I met God. I don't... What the fuck problem are you having here? Nothing. Never mind. Okay, cool. Great. And that was all, you don't... What the fuck problem are you having here? Nothing. Never mind. Okay, cool. Great.

And that was all, you don't exist, man. Hey, Lemon. Yeah. How big is God? That's a super great question. Killing time. How big is God? Okay.

How big is God? If you can answer that one, then you really have seen God. I am not telling you as a control. Wait, that wasn't even the sentence I was talking about. There's another one. God damn it. Well, let me finish my sentence then. I'm not telling you as a control.

If you can answer, you get to chat as opposed to me blowing you off as a lunatic. You fucking weirdo. Not like us, sane godly atheists. Ask me that question again. Let's see if I have a different answer. Also, how big is God? How big is God? What are his secrets and weaknesses? The first one is a check

to see if you really have seen God and the rest have to stay a secret, as per orders from God. I was ordered to write this, by the way, and God has a gun to my head. How big do you guys think God is? Like, probably bigger than a bread box. And what if he was one of us? Oh, fuck you. Just a slob like one of us?

Yeah, yeah, just a stranger on the bus. Nobody calling on the phone. Except for the Pope, but he's in Rome. Maybe in Rome. Maybe in Rome. Alright. Well, that was

nz9f.com slash god. Oh my god. Oh, my God. Okay, just pointing out briefly that thfbl.us is the website. This document I have been really scrolling through a lot, and I just wanted to point out that this document that Montreux put together is 44 pages. And I can tell you this because she told me this. It is currently 44 pages. And I can tell you this because she told me this. It is currently 44 pages. It is pared down

from, I think she had it at somewhere like 70. I was like, I can't read that. And she goes, alright, fine, 44 pages. That's the best I can do. How about now? Well, I mean, the whole site is just, you can click fucking anywhere and get madness. Alright, so we are leaving Slash God, and we are going to Slash Drugs.

Oh. You mean like ones I listen to on my headphones? Well, you know, drugs are actually broken up into categories. Do I get them from the Jewish cabal mafia or the Mormons? It depends on who's holding what. You gotta kind of check their inventory and see. So, Bunnybread, you're gonna tell me

just a little bit here about drugs. It's broken up into sections. We have a section on marijuana. We have a section on caffeine. We have a section on tobacco. Obviously heroin and opiates. I mean, no surprises there. But I think we should actually take a little bit of a drug called alcohol.

It's a friend of mine. Alcohol! It kills my soul! Alcohol is the most widely abused drug except for caffeine. The oldest psychotropic Neolithic cavemen had booze and knew how to use it. The fermentation occurs naturally and any fruit juice will automatically

turn into wine. Automatically? Pick your poison. We really mean that. Alcohol and humans evolved together. The strains of yeast which ferment wine live in the human reproductive system, being held in check by our immune systems. Like the E. coli, which help our digestive systems.

Yep, right. Yeast. You heard me. Yeast is a beneficial and necessary bacteria in our bodies. The earliest intentional manufacturer of wine was the mead industry. Honey with water added and fermented. This was done by priests, who held the secret of how to make it ferment

quickly into wine. Ooh, I don't trust those guys. They put in their blood and their semen from what I understand. Oh, never mind. I trust them now. They knew where yeast came from. Okay. Alcohol manufacture led to monasteries where grapes were grown to make wine. Life was

okay, as a priest could stay high on alcohol and love at the same time. Yeah. Hey, Dr. John Kitchen. Are you a brewmaster? Yes, I am a brewmaster. So I will try to stay on point. I will try, is what I said. This is the brewmaster's code!

He's got a tattoo on his forearm that says, I will try to stay on point, that he just looks at every once in a while and goes, Fuck you, tattoo! You can't tell me what to do! You're part of the brewish cabal, aren't you? Okay. So I'll try to stay on point. Widely available, ethyl alcohol has traditional uses in medicine. Sleep, pain, sterility. Traditional religious uses.

And to this day is used as an antibacterial agent in hand cleaners. Good call. As it is an excellent solvent and quite edible. Probably better than fictional 3- 9 lambda poco tecta lacobactera A shot of that stuff on the rocks

Yeah. A shot of that stuff on the rocks would probably be dangerous. Sure. The thing that Zaphid Beeblebrox drinks? Yes. The causes of alcoholism are unknown. I blame booze. The thing you invented? Yeah. The thing that Zaphid Beeblebrox drinks? Yes. Yep. The causes of alcoholism are unknown.

I blame booze. That's not fair. But it is likely that people become alcoholics as opposed to addicts of other drugs because of the legality and availability of booze. All drug abuse, of course, including alcoholism, is a mental illness and must always be treated as such. Okay. Substitute something else for the dope before withdrawing it. That's actually kind of... Well, that sounds bad, but there's got to be an upside, right?

Oh, fortunately, alcohol has no permanent nor physical addiction in most people. No withdrawal symptoms except a hangover caused it by blocking antidepressant hormone dehydration. And the only thing... Wait, was it... Okay, yeah. And the only thing needed is some rest, sleep, and peace. Great, yes, because DTs don't exist.

That's right. Cheer don't. That just means that you're crumping. I'm so happy I'm off the booze, I'm a-dancin'! Bunny Bird? You. I mean, Dr. John Kitchen. I have a question about food.

That's not booze. Well, that's what you think. How is food like cocaine? That's another QI question. Because like cocaine, food stimulates the reward or pleasure symptoms of the brain. Systems, even. Like pleasure from sex,

that is all a part of life. However, not automatically an addiction Just like cocaine Just like cocaine So, I gotta say I mean, if I gotta come clean to all of you here I have Eaten food I have

I've dabbled in food myself I have had sex and I have done cocaine And I would say that the three things are very different from each other. I mean, they were all nice. Did you have sex with your food? Yeah. I mean, yeah, coming from a similar place, I would tend to agree with you, because I actually like food. Sure. agree with you because I mean I actually like food sure alright I'm sorry

keep going okay moving on restaurants are the whore houses of becoming food satisfied one more time please restaurants are the whore One more time, please. Restaurants are the whorehouses of becoming food satisfied. So is Rick showing up at my party the whorehouse of becoming cocaine satisfied? Satisfied? Satisfied?

Major D is actually Madame in French. Like being sexually satisfied. It feels really nice, but eventually hunger comes back. Getting back to food, we have diastema to mysoportliness, trying to shut off our genetic programming to eat. We use drugs to suppress our food drive, such as the stimulants. We establish fast-fix instant food restaurants, perfect for addicts and prey upon their addiction quite successfully. Snack food companies do the same thing, as we have pleasure centers in the brain for salt, sweets, and fats. of pleasure centers in the brain for salt, sweets, and fats.

The hat trick, Triple Crown, is all three in a single unit. Such as Beer Nuts. Yeah! Nobody could possibly resist the siren call of Beer Nuts.

Oh, Beer Nuts. Is this the siren call of beer nuts? Because they're food, they're food, and they're alcohol, and they're made of sex because there's nuts. Yeah. And we're assuming, I mean, it's just, it's taken as a given that there's semen and blood in all of this.

Yeah. That's fair. Sweet, salt, fat, which is like the drink rum and cola. all of this. That's fair. Sweet salt fat, which is like the drink rum and cola. Thank you for not breaking a trademark. That was good of you. Okay, so

there's plenty more that we could be reading, but we do need to hone in just a little bit. Because we're brewmasters. Because we're brewmasters, so we have to stay on point. Okay, so Jack Chick, I'm going to give you a choice here. Okay. All right, so option number one is that we can go to nz9f.com slash i,

and the page starts out, page continuously hacked. I never got paid for any idea in my life. This page lists internet ideas for patent and development. So that's one option. The other option. So is that I as in like the Apple product prefix? Yeah, you just couldn't think of anything to follow it. The other option is NZ9f forward slash web underscore ratings

um and that page um is sorry that page starts out beware of fake non-profits government propaganda websites this includes the san diego city websites the san diego publicity websites non-profits totally funded by the city in order to assist propaganda official government news and other government websites, many trying to look non-government, including state and federal websites. Oh, yeah, I think we've got to go with the second one there. What was it? All right, so this is the web ratings page.

So Montreth points out that in this layout that you're all enjoying, she points out, after you click on a link, a hidden web page appears in the list it writes, in the white vertical bar. Click on it. It is hidden page 227. This will show the products of the deployment of this idea. Wait, where?

Why are they? Secret pages! Oh god. How do I get to the secret page? Is this like the In-N-Out menu? Alright, um... Hey, Jack Chick. Hi, Lemon. Is it true that the internet

will die from selfishness? It is true that the internet will die from selfishness. Let me tell you a little more. Okay. Okay, when was this written? 2010, on my 58th birthday, which is on July 30th, in case anybody wants Oh, this is... Yes, it is. This is an open letter. Nice.

Sort of a birthday present, such as moldy cheese. That would be great. To Yahoo, Google, Apple, ATT, Verizon, Microsoft, Hot Mail, that's not a part of Microsoft apparently, Facebook, Twitter, and more. I'm irritated.

Why are you laughing? I'm irritated. I'm fucking irritated. I'm irritated, not because of the grief you've been giving this website, but because of your failure to get along. You're trashing and burning the web. Do you know what that means to you? Guess

Burning trash I'm a proc fit predicting no profit Recently Microsoft Hotmail Stopped the system I was using To place sprint pictures on my thumb drive And place them onto this Yahoo site Sure sure that'll happen And comma

It changed the features and operating system on my email to something foreign to me. I'm an IT person, I can confirm this. The day before, Yahoo, also known as AT&T, changed its small business login program

to accept only Mozilla Firefox and not Microsoft Internet Explorer. Since San Diego libraries have banned Firefox, I only have Intex and cannot log on to update my site. Shall I continue for another 225,000 pages? Yes, I will. I am currently withholding a few hundred Internet ideas from all of you. Some of these ideas are highly profitable. I will be shutting down this page temporarily because you children are not behaving.

Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Internet ideas. Internet ideas. You need to cooperate or there will be no web whatsoever as a result. Oh no. And that comes from God. Not me. You don't believe you don't believe in God?

You know what? Fuck. And it kind of looks like he doesn't believe in you either. Fucking told. Fuck. Can you skip down to when I get irritated? When I get irritated, I take action. I'm thinking of posting a real military cloaking device.

You're going to post it? Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm on the hook. I'm super interested. I already bought this bomb with air. Sort of like in a science fiction movie, except for real, on my website. Sort of. Solutions page

S. Perhaps giving military solutions to the problem of being visible to the enemy? Bipolar? Yes. I plead guilty. Lock me up for that crime. Genius? Well, read, bite me, end my blog, etc Oh, damn I'm going to skip down

Because I think we need to hear more about his ideas Okay, yep, I want to hear ideas Okay Getting back to the web And what you must do to make it survive. Cooperate. I will develop both my headphone laptop. Good.

Sure, sure, good. What? Plus my social networking site with money to be made by all. Microsoft gets all software except web creation. That's Yahoo Site Solutions to make it easy for the people creating same. Browser is Internet Explorer

and the phone portion works four ways with the internal program to determine whose network fits best at any given moment. It runs all networks, including Sprint. Plus, it can go directly to satellite. The program for choosing nets has detailed coverage info. For example, if AT&T coverage area is going to run out in three minutes

based on your current GPS location and direction and speed of travel, then the system knows to kick in coverage on the more expensive Verizon so that your call does not end up being dropped. Most simple stuff can use Sprint. I believe it is the best application for Sprint is to send pictures because of the spectrum they're on and the difference between PCS and a cell phone. Broadcast

transmission of newspaper photos is a great use of Sprint and my use. I intend... No, no, no, don't skip that. Don't skip that middle paragraph. I want to know what happens if no nets are available. Okay. If no nets are available, there's the satellite option,

but you will be prompted as to whether or not you want to pay the $5 per minute extra charge. If you're bleeding bad, it might be worth it. All phones can access OnStar. Yay! I intend to force all of you to cooperate and get a piece of the action. You won't deal with me. Oh, wow. I will establish a competing trinary or tetranary, not binary, web and blow the doors off you.

Yeah. Do you know what happens to speed in apps? Binary is the problem with the web. Huh? What? What? Hey, come Quasop.

You and I, we work in tech. Sort of. I thought so before this. Would you agree with this analysis that binary is really what's holding it back? I didn't know it was, but now I do. Will you, when you get to work on Monday, will you get to work on that?

Yeah. Well, no, I'm not going to go to work on Monday because, fuck, it's binary. You're obsolete, baby. Well, just go into all of your machine code and just add twos to all of them. It's not saying a decimal or hexadecimal system. It's saying a trinary system. Or a tetranary system.

0, 1, 2. So that means you play Tetris to program it. Or 0, 1, 2, 3. That's quaternary, isn't it? Those are some very complicated looking transistors On, off, kind of on That's a setting Do you guys want to hear what my last resort is?

That's good Do you guys want to hear what my last resort is? Oh, yes, cut yourself into pieces What is it? Bennett Fuck you Jesus Christ Yes, cut yourself into pieces. What is it? Bennett. Fuck you. Bennett. Bennett.

Bennett. Jesus Christ. In all seriousness, last resort, I have the capability to design a radio wave that would destroy all life on the planet. Oh, shit! Somebody get this guy money so he doesn't do it. Tell me how it works first. But there already is a Spin Doctors song.

We have one more piece that we're going to get to. Before we get to that piece, I just want to run through a couple of a small enumerated list if I could. This is just a short enumerated list. I am could. This is just a short enumerated list. I am withholding a few dozen other ideas

that you will need to make this idea work. They come with the purchase, but I won't tell you what they are until you buy. Okay, number nine. One man said he's afraid to log onto my website or operate a computer at all because he could be sent to prison for 20 years if somebody were to force his computer

to accept child pornography. A lot of people are afraid of that. I propose an antivirus device that rejects all Trojan images, whether by cookies, programming, or whatever. Include it free in a web browser. That stops lunatics, religious leaders, and our corrupt government. What? You like it?

Yeah. Great, that was number nine. Here comes number eight. Implement this vague thing. In email security, why not have the customer log in with a phrase known only to them? Ooh, like a word that gets you passed. Wait, wait, wait. Screw all your other ideas.

I don't care about any of them. Tell me about the web index. Web index. Yeah, because you go 9, 8, 7, 6, and then 1. Web index. Yeah, so 9, 8, 7, 6, and then 1. Web index. Yeah, so 9, 8, 7, 6, 1. Okay, web index. www. www.

www. www. That lists all websites in alphabetical order with a bit of info about each. So, then there's eBuy. That's point number two. List item sold by anyone, such as gold, bikes, auto parts, etc. Opposite of eBay.

Go to the website to see what you may have that somebody wants to pay cash for. So exactly like eBay. So it accepts cash. No, no, no. The site just knows what you have. There's a search engine for search engines. This is an active desktop display with icons for the URLs, which is Yahoo and Google.

Specify the type of search desired, and one or more will light up. They also be used to run three search engines simultaneously. Left column, Google results. Center column, Yahoo results. Center column, Yahoo results. Right column, Bing results. This also permits interplaying one search engine against others. Google exact phrase intrepid three minus Yahoo and or Bing special phrase one.

Used as homepage. Didn't that already exist? Is it a thing called dog pile? Yes. There should be an icon for the word bullshit or prove it so that someone can make a really hard-to-believe statement followed by the icon. You don't believe me?

Click here. Is that the symbol? The happy face? Yeah, no, that's a million-dollar tech idea. Fucking icon. Okay. So that was point number four. Then there's point number D.

Facebook? Okay, but a commercial website like this can be used to make money, So that was point number four. Then there's point number D. Facebook? Okay, but a commercial website like this can be used to make money, post entire movies, contain pages of family photos with restricted access. Very versatile. I envision a billion such websites. Do the math on how much profit that's worth. I can't.

I, yeah. Hey, Lemon? Yeah, what's up? What happened to you when the food was so loaded with human blood and semen? That's a great question. Thank you so much for asking. Can I do this one?

Yeah. Oh my god! I can't believe you just fucking volunteered for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want it. Holy shit! This is for me. Wow! The food was so loaded with human blood and semen that it made me very sick.

It made me somewhat crazy as well, which is very normal. They got upset when I wouldn't eat it, and when I got really bad case of diarrhea, they refused to give me medicine for that. I was wet, farting liquid shit all over for days. I wanted a shower, but it took a day and a half to get permission. I wanted to keep a log, but that was not permitted. Every hour or so, they took a large blood sample, not just a finger poke to check blood sugar for diabetes. Plus, every hour or two, they presented me with legal papers

asking that I consent to stay there permanently. I wanted a lawyer, but I was denied. Eventually, I threatened to sue, but I did not lose my temper, gently delivering that message. I believe that. Yeah. Okay, but then your doctor, the doctor that diagnosed you with attention deficit disorder. So he asked what mental health issues I was suffering from.

Is that it? Okay. And I told him ADD, attention deficit disorder. He said that there was no such disease. Just then, his cell phone rang, and he spent the next 50 minutes on the phone helping his wife with her car that refused to start. Keep in mind that at no time was I ever interviewed. I have no idea what he may have diagnosed me as in the end, but I diagnosed him as being extremely incompetent.

I personally do better psychiatric work than that. As demonstrated by your psychiatric work. All right. You know, I feel like, you know, the F+, us, the five of us here in this room, you know, we're, I don't know, I mean, intelligent by some definitions. But I don't know what our IQ is. I think that we should, right now, in this podcast, get an IQ test. Does that sound like fun?

No. Is it by this guy? Thank you so much for your enthusiasm. It's really important to the pit. I'm sorry. No! Hey, comequats up. Will you administer an IQ test, please?

Yeah. Hey, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Everybody. What's the difference between Buddhist and Christian spirituality? Like all of the religious tenets? See? No.

Jesus. No. Jesus? No. Anybody? Moving on. Anybody smart? No. I mean, I think they're basically identical from what I understand. Is it blood and semen? You get half a point. Both involve the

Eucharist. Yeah, Buddhism involves that. Big fans of Christ. But the Buddhists do not add bread and wine to the blood and semen. Oh, they take it straight. Doesn't seem very good. Yeah, they call it neat. All right, so Jack Chick, I think you're ahead right now, right?

You're the smartest one in the room? Well, no, I said Blood and Semen. Yeah, what is socialization? Just like talking. Eating Blood and Semen? You've got another half point. Oh, but you're super-carnivorous! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Socialization is a form of brainwashing. Socialization is the use of Eucharistics, which is the definition of secretly placing blood and semen in the food of others in order to force them to believe something. I think I get a full point for that. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right.

You have 1.5 points. This is the smartest person in the room. All right. What's next? What's next? point for that. Okay. All right. You have 1.5 points. This is the smartest person in the room. All right. What's next? What's next? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What are the two primary functions of liturgy? Jesus? Boy. No. Blood and semen. No. No. They're to actually ruin the black metal scene by being really fucking crappy and from Williamsburg.

Can I get a negative point for that? Portland. Liturgy. Here's what liturgy does. Let me tell you about liturgy. Liturgy is the collection of love from the people in the audience and charging up the clergy with the same.

Plus socialization or brainwashing via gnosis. Oh, man. It's like when the crowd's really getting into it. Okay. All right, what's next? What's next? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so is God all-powerful?

I'm going to go yes. No. No, because God doesn't exist because the concept of God is actually an it, which is a different thing. Wait, I got this. I'm an atheist. Boots is closest again. Damn it, Tim!

Not even close. God has to adhere to science, but does have the... What? You win again, science. Fuck science. But it does have the technology to stop and reverse time itself,

like Superman, to get another outcome. Oh, right. Like science does. Yes. Yeah. Hey! Hey! hey! Hey! What? Hey! What? Hey! What?

Are space aliens real? Uh, I'm gonna go no. I'm gonna go no. Uh, yes. I'm gonna go with maybe. Are they actually ruining the black metal scene by being... Uh, Bunny Bread wins! What?! Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Most are fake stories made up to conceal Uh, Bunny Bread wins. What? Yeah. Yeah. Most are fake stories made up to conceal the truth or even hallucinations, but a handful are very real. There are currently 150 space-capable cultures that we know about. Doesn't that mean I'm right? No. Roll. Shut up. The answer is maybe.

The answer is no, but yes. Which means maybe. Hey, will Jesus return? What will happen then? I'm going to say, okay, I'm going to go with... It's a two-part question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I want to say yes, he will return,

and then he's got a happy hardcore band that'll start. I'm going to say, no, he will not return, but when he does, he will be killed. I'm going to say, Jesus will return, but he's ruining the metal scene right now. Black metal scene. Yeah, no, I'm going to say that, yes, he will return, and when he does come, he will ruin the Black Duel of Steam. That is true. He would ruin it. You're all wrong.

It's not clear. But if he did, it'd be very possible that the Atlantean angels will get their planet back. They won the World Series two years ago. Angels, roll out! After a million left turns, he still found a new way to go. Pod! Hey! Hey! Hey! What did Jesus mean when he said that he would make the apostles fishers of men?

He meant that the unbelievers in the society were just sort of like, they didn't have enlightenment and that they would sort of fish them out and turn them into enlightened individuals. He meant he was going to fuck them. Something, something ruining the black metal scene. You're all wrong. They were fishing with spawn sack,

which is fish semen and eggs. Of course. Mensual blood. How to do that with humans. I get a half a point. Okay, maybe. Hey, how does the miracle of the loaves and fishes work?

Okay, so the fishes are the blood and the loaves are the semen. Jesus is magical. Yeah. See, it has to do with homeless food tokens that sell for more than they're worth. Valid answer. But Bunny Bread wins again because, hey, have you ever had a loaf or a fish? I don't think you have because here's what happens. fish? I don't think you have, because here's what

happens. Everybody consumes so much DNA that they cannot wait to get home and fuck somebody! How many children did the Virgin Mary have? Zero. 80. What's a litter?

Wait, is this the Virgin Mary Magdalene? The Virgin Prostitute Mary Magdalene? No. Oh, three. Three, we've already covered this. Boats wins! Boats wins!

Damn it! Jesus was... Good shepherding. I'm wearing the crazy from earlier. Yeah. He was the third and she was cast out. Yeah. No, but there's qualification here.

Three, Jesus was her third, and under temple law, three bastard children was the maximum before being fired and given away to a single man. Alright, I I'm tired of getting beat by Boots Reingear in this goddamn quiz. Do you have two more IQ questions for us? I don't know.

You have two more IQ questions for us. Fuck. Perhaps, maybe, why did Adolf Hitler kill Jews? Maybe. It's to build a giant reservoir of blood and semen. No, no, no, no, that's not the question. Why was Israel created? What can we

learn from this? To ruin the black metal scene in New York. I'm going to say to ruin the black metal scene in New Jersey. Damn it! Israel was created to compensate the Jews from losing Germany. Unfortunate that they were not given Berlin. Instead, we learned from Israel that land

should never ever be given back to a previous owner, such as the Native Americans wanting their land back to do kills off the entire planet Earth? Yes, Native Americans, they're going to kill the Earth. Yeah. Okay, my final question. What's your final question?

I was going to say, my hair just raised on end for a second because I thought you were going to bring up the Large Hadron Collider. That's what I call Jesus. Okay. Why should you care about God, truth, religion, and salvation? Because they're all going to feed me

blood and semen. So everyone will fucking shut up about it? No. You're all wrong. Oh. No. Because there is nothing else. Earth is crap. But if you understand how it works, you have the process licked. Got it.

Holy shit. Wow. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. What did we learn from this really, really long website? The opposite of knowledge. Is the answer blood and semen? I guess it would have to be. I mean, I think

that I've discovered that I've been browsing the internet completely incorrectly. It's way better in Internet Explorer at 150% magnification. To those listeners who don't understand that joke, Internet Explorer is a web browser that is generally used. Wait, what?

Wait, let him finish. Where do listeners go from being young to being dogs? There's something that, like, what do you think? Do you think there's like a there's like a visible thing that happens when yeah there's a lot of visible things that happen thanks thanks a bunch do you think there's a visible thing that happens when you show like people of this disposition like the internet and go like so here's where you can just kind of like write whatever you want like Like, and then do you think that it's that moment where their sort of eyes like open up and they're like, oh my God.

Oh, yeah. The erection shoots through the pants at that point. I have an answer to this. So I know that, so we've read a couple of genuine crazy people's sites before. It's always amazing. This is something. And, you know, at some point, I don't remember what episode it was, but somebody said something to the effect of, you know, you can hear where the font changes color. Sure.

And this guy has, we didn't get to read it because it would be useless to read it, but he has a subsection of his site that is literally slash font. He has a subsection of his site that is literally slash fonts. Yep. And it's as though he wrote a how-to guide for internet crazy people. He's trying to show them how to change fonts and colors. Listen, motherfucker, you want to be crazy? This is how you're crazy. Yeah. And so I think, you know, the standard garden variety,

crazy person, when he understands that he can write things on the internet has to go through a voyage of self-discovery. Oh, I can, I can write in, you know, bold blue times new Roman.

He'd take that. It takes three years to discover this guy is trying to cut that time down and be more efficient. So, so I always think about it is that there's people you know, occasionally you have deep ideas or thoughts about the world and whatnot and you

maybe want to write them down. People whose brains are misfiring, they're gonna have a lot more shit to write down because they think that everything that's going through their head is monumental and important. And then you have to prove it. They need to prove everyone wrong. Right. And then you have to prove it. They need to prove everyone wrong.

Right. And so then they're trying to emphasize their text, but they think all of it is of critical importance. So they're trying to just emphasize everything. Yeah. But while you're emphasizing a sentence, what happens if you need to emphasize another word in that sentence? Well, that's the point.

It's a continual sort of escalation of, you know, okay, now I'm in red bold font. Now it's red. Yeah, now it's Comic Sans. Now it's underlined. Yes. Like, I firmly believe that there's sort of a rule in copywriting of, like,

the worse the line of copy, the more exclamation points it'll have in it uh nothing yeah no we read a lot of copy I gotta chuckle all of the rest of us designers

uh but yeah it's I I mean cause this guy this guy's crazier than But yeah, it's... I mean, because this guy is crazier than Connie Marshall. And he's... Hey, don't talk shit about Connie Marshall.

You don't think so, do you think? Well, okay. I feel like Connie Marshall, she had a sort of lunatic objective of just sort of conspiracy theories and everyone's out to get me. Yeah, she was focused. Right, exactly. There was a point that she hammered home.

She's a more advanced master. This guy is so crazy that he just can't be one kind of crazy at any time. Yeah. one kind of crazy at any time. Yeah. Although, I will say this is, I think, I mean, I've seen a lot of crazy websites. This has possibly

the least misspellings of any crazy website I've ever seen. Yeah. And if you're looking for a crazy website, you can go to thefpl.us It uses one font. Ugh, boring. Yeah, and if you need somewhere

to tell people how much blood and semen you've consumed in the last day, come to Ball Pits. You want to get to Ball Pits? That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. It sounds super great, but I don't know if I really want to sign up to the forum, but I sure would like to give this podcast money.

It seems like a cool thing that I should support. Okay. Fuck you guys. Fuck you guys. Well, hey, it sounds like you would really like to flatter us. Shut up. Fuck. You assholes.

Fuck this podcast. Uh, yeah. Hey. Hey, everybody. No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah. Yeah. Ah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, yeah. Ah! Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah!

No. Uh, no. Uh, yeah. Portland. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah.

Uh, not even close. Yeah. Uh, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Uh, yeah. Yeah.

No. Maybe. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey.

Uh, uh, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Semen. Ah! Hey. Hey. What? I. Hey. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey! Uh... Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Semen? AHH! Hey!

Hey! I... Hey! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Menstrual blood?

Fuck. Yeah! Yeah. Uh... Uh... No. Yeah! Yeah.

Uh... Hey! Hey! Hey! What are sex fantasies? Ah... Yeah! Sh...

Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Hi. No. No. Uh... Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hi. No, no. Uh. Yeah.