The F Plus - 174: Icky Pedia

Episode Date: April 29, 2015

So many video games are all about violence, where's the games with the sex in them? Well, it shouldn't surprise you to learn that they're here, and that's because they've been imported from Japan. Oh, and there's also a whole lot of violence involved, as well as massive amounts of misogyny and borderline beastiality. So... this is a gross one, if you haven't sussed that out yet. We're exploring the Monster Girl Quest Wiki, an exhaustive resource for an actual JRPG about a boy who must protect his sperm from a myriad of horrifying creatures. This week, The F Plus is bummed out by Iron Maiden.

Welcome to the F-Plus Podcast, a reprehensible place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Frank West. Pussy invitation. Binded preparation for four semen squeeze. This preparation takes two takes. Jack Chick. Sweet tit frock. Normal attack will trigger chest bukkake on loss. Ace your aqua bottle.

Motherfucker, I'm gonna give you an ass press. You're gonna get worked out with this normal attack that damages three times. Oh my god, it's Nutshell Gulag! Shangri-La Screw, normal attack that causes damage three times. And Lemon, the assassin's ass fuck, normal attack. No! It just says normal attack afterwards. It's wild!

You say! It's wild! You say! It's wild! And you're right! Hey, F+. Hello. How are we all doing tonight? Pretty good.

Yeah. You know. I'm excited about recording stuff that isn't going to be really gross. I'm doing really well. I hope nothing ruins my night. Yeah, actually, my wife got this Japanese RPG thing she was going to play. I thought it was kind of interesting. Yeah.

Well, speaking of that, I thought that we could, in this podcast, try out a direction that we've never done before. Really? Okay. We've gone in a lot of fun and interesting directions here. And what I thought we'd record an episode on tonight is an episode about gross things that give nerds boners. Huh? Oh.

Yeah. Sure. Sure. I've gotten tired about reading about kittens and puppies and fluffy hugs. Sounds good.

A new exciting direction. So you might remember a long time ago we did an episode on Pokegirls. That was a sort of Pokemon based sexual concept game

that was put together by just sort of like one pervert. Yeah, and Portax really liked it. Portax, I think, liked it a lot. Yeah. I think she wept tears of joy. This episode is something that King Calamari brought to us, and it's called the Monster Girl Quest Wiki. Now, here's the one major difference with this.

The Monster Girl Quest Wiki is, you know, functionally the same sort of idea. It's sort of Pokemon-based. There's a young plucky hero, and then there's girls that exist in the game. But here's the difference. Monster Girl Quest actually exists. It's a real game, and here's the difference. Monster Girl Quest actually exists. It's a real

game, and it's from Japan, and it's real, and this wiki is about real stuff. Let's just take a break here, Lemon, so I can go get a really big bottle of fierce brown liquor, because I think I'm getting... Frank West, if you'll take Mantis Girl, please.

I certainly will. Where do you want me to take her? Well, first you have to get past the age gate for some reason. I can't imagine why that's there. Then you have to stop giggling about the picture. Yeah, you're going to have to do that. So, tell me a little bit

about Mantis Girl. How many hit points does Mantis Girl have? Mantis Girl has, well, normally, she has 2,800 hit points. Does Mantis Girl have any special skills at all? Well, she has Mantis Blowjob. Mantis Tickfuck. Tickfuck. And Mantis Rape.

Good. The famous Mantis Blowjob. Well, yeah, tell me more about Mantis titfuck, and mantis rape. Good. The famous mantis blowjob. Well, yeah, tell me more about Mantis Girl. I am interested. Okay. Well, Mantis Girl is a large mantis monster who has an appetite for men and other monsters. Although in some cases, she may use a man as a reproductive tool.

Her physiology allows her to capture and mate with men pretty quickly, holding them in her bladed arms before using her flexible abdomen to take advantage of their prone position. Okay. I'll give you a moment to recover. Yep. Like most insect monsters, her main

drive is mating, and she makes use of her mates not only as a source of semen to fertilize her eggs, but also to nourish them after she covers his body in them. As she doesn't kill her mates afterwards, anyone unlucky enough to be given the position can only look forward to an endless cycle of being

used as a reproductive tool with no escape. Yay! I have that sentence a lot in this Wikipedia. Yeah. Yeah. Yay. So can you, I mean, maybe this is a strange question to ask,

but I feel like you might be a strange person here. Can you give me an overview of a battle with Mantis Girl? Are we not going to discuss her special attacks? Oh, well, okay. I suppose, what are the special attacks? Well, there's Mantis Blowjob, which is a normal attack, which will trigger Facial Bukkake on Loser. Oh. There are no winners with this attack.

Oh. There are no winners with this attack. There's Mantis Tickfuck, which is a normal attack, which will trigger chest bukkake on those. Okay. So, question. Who gets the bukkake? Is that the person

who's being used against, or does Mantis Girl get them? You do. It's whoever loses. And right now, that's me. That's a really great... So, yeah, presumably Mantis Girl fights somebody else and then when Mantis Girl

wins, like, 14 Japanese men show up and jerk off on her face. I win, gentlemen! You know, like you do. Tailship, hey man, no hard feelings here. Or does she get the chest bukkake when she loses? I don't want to think about this.

Oh my god. Any other special attacks? Well, she has Embrace, which is a non-requestable technique. Well, that sounds nice. Well, it triggers bind status and leads to mantis rape on the next turn. Mantis rape? That sounds great. What's mantis rape?

That's a blinded attack that leads to a one-hit KO via instant follow-up. Yeah, okay. Sexy. So, anyway, you were going to give me an overview of a battle, right? I was. On paper, Mantis Girl does look like nothing out of the ordinary with two normal...

Right? Completely normal... I'm sorry. Woman-Mantis hybrid. With tits. Needs quotation marks around the normal. Normal. This whole paragraph needs quotations.

On paper, Mantis Girl does look like nothing out of the ordinary with two normal attacks and a bind attack. But in reality, the battle pace is kicked up a bit by her binding ability. Once she uses Embrace, Luka has only one chance to escape before Mantis Rape comes into play and ends the battle in one hit. Gnome is the key to break out of Embrace quickly, so having her up from turn one is preferable, seeing that her

shallow attack pool gives her a fair chance of using binds quickly. Afterwards, she can be blown away with Death Sword Chaos Star. Oh, okay, cool. Now I've got it. Yeah, I mean, this is basic stuff, people. Okay.

Although Undine is mentioned in the dialogue, using her will just create more dialogue and how useless she is in the battle. Yeah, take that, Undine. Fuck you, Undine. Fucking useless. Probably only have two tits, you gross bitch. I bet you just

do sex normally. What is normal, really? Not this. Yeah, whatever's the opposite of this. If she defeats Luca, she will grab him from behind and push his penis into her abdomen to fertilize her eggs, before cocooning him in said eggs, effectively keeping him as a meat. Just any part of her abdomen, it doesn't really matter. Yeah, just, look, we haven't, the writer hasn't gotten that far in sex.

We think that's how it works. Right, right. The cycle continues ad infinitum. I guarantee he has a very detailed write-up of exactly what this insect vagina looks like. Hey, I'm Unfortunate Mermaid, and she Oh, hey, Unfortunate Mermaid!

She has an abdomen and knows how to use it. That's good enough for me, Winkyface. I'm all about that thorax, about that thorax. Plus, did you find that entry from the Monster Girl wiki to be lacking in eroticism?

Yeah, I really didn't. No! I mean, yeah. Of course not, honey. You did a good job writing it. Well, you know, maybe Mantis Girl wasn't your thing. Maybe Mantis Girl just didn't, you know, do it for you. That's fine, no problem, because there's also Earthworm Girl. Jack Chick, could you tell me about Earthworm Girl?

Oh, hell yeah, I can. Oh my god. Yeah, this drawing's way grosser than the previous one. Yeah, it is. It's fucking horrible. Oh, this drawing's way grosser than the previous one. Yeah, it is. It's fucking horrible. Jesus Christ on a crutch. Alright, you guys ready to hear about Earthworm Girl? Totally.

Okay, I'll take that as a yes here. Earthworm Girl is a slimy subterranean monster with the lower body of a worm and the bust of a woman. Her skin also has the ability to absorb semen? Just semen, though. And she can open up the tip of her tail to suck out as much semen as she

wants. I don't like this gritty reboot of Spongeongebob Squarepants! I thought it was Earthworm Jim. Upon leaving Eliasburg, Alice notices Luca's hesitation during battle and gives him the Blade Angel halo. Immediately afterwards, an Earthworm girl

shows up and tries to rape Luka, only to find that the sword does not wound her, but actually saps away her power. Eventually, her powers fade to such a level that she takes a sealed form, turning into a normal earthworm.

What? Okay, that's a weird sword you have there. Is that all that sword does? Yeah, probably. Oh, boy. Alright, so let's just talk about the attacks there. I think that's the interesting part.

Yeah, yeah, attacks. Great. So, Earthworm Girl has Sticky Mucus, which is a normal attack and will trigger Belly Bukkake upon losing. I'm noticing a theme here. She also has Coil, which is a non-requestable technique. It triggers bind status and causes damage. Titan, which is a binded attack, will trigger Tail Bukake upon losing.

And Sweet Worm, a binded attack which leads to a one-hit KO via instant follow-up. I have no idea what any of that means. No, no, no, no. What? Huh. Okay, awesome. Great. That sounds... erotic. That's what I'm looking for. Yeah. Well, so, then there's

some stupid stuff, but if Luca loses, she will suck up his semen before opening up her tail, clamping onto his penis, wrapping around him and keeping him, even sucking away while he is asleep. Of course she will.

And then the evaluation is, you lost to an earthworm. How disgraceful. If you don't struggle, you will surely lose. If she coils around you when you are below half health, there's a 50% chance she will use sweetworm. How disgraceful. If you don't struggle, you will surely lose. If she coils around you when you are below half health, there's a 50% chance she will use sweet worm. If you get caught with that attack, there is no escape.

Now go, oh brave Luca. Don't be beaten by the earthworm again. You got beaten by the earthworm again? I mean, for many, many reasons, maybe you should type less, buddy. Yes. Do you have any trivia about Earthworm Girl

that you want to share? Earthworm Girl is the first monster to be sealed with the Angel Halo turning into a normal Earthworm. Lacking facial and chest attacks, Bukkake's 1 and 2 are not achievable in gameplay. Well, maybe not without the DLC. I'm disappointed by the limited Bukkake

attacks of this character. It gets worse. It gets worse. Oh, good! It gets worse. Bukkake's 5 and 6 are just not used at all. Oh, boo. So wait, I can only get 3 and 4? Yeah, Bukkake's 3 and 4 are still on the table. This game's fucking broken.

There's no palettes at all. Acier? Yeah? Do you think you can tell me a little bit about Crab Girl? No, I can't. I wonder how this game thinks of its names for all of these. Oh my gosh, I'm so depressed. All of these characters.

Hey, you guys want to hear about Taper Girl? Yeah, it's better than Tapeworm Girl. ACR, can you briefly paint a picture with words and describe to the listeners what Crab Girl looks like so they don't have to go to this website? Pretty fucking gross. Style? Yeah, totally. Oh god. The crab girl was a beach monster obsessed with washing

men. Right. Like all crabs. Washing them? Yes. Crabs are very sanitary, don't you know? Yeah. Now, using her large claws, she holds them down while her four pairs of hands scrub and clean their dicks, which seem to be a near

endless loop due to ejaculation. What? What? It's the Sisyphean handjob. All I can think of is the chafing with the sand and the... Yep. And the crab claws.

Well, she's got actually at least, she's got four pairs of hands in addition to her claws, in addition to her other hands, in addition to her kitten's feet. Well, that's not scientifically accurate. This is some kind of

octocrab thing. I don't know. So Nia lands this loop to ejaculations and then what? Well, when finished, she will usually release her catch. However, the man may become addicted to her washing

techniques. If made into an enemy, she can be extremely vengeful. She'll pinch it right off. As Luca attempts to head into the water to meet Kraken to fulfill Maya's pledge, the crab girl shows up. After Luca seals her, she pinches him. Oh, no.

And runs off. What? She pinches him. So just Luca doesn't deserve a handjob from Crabbrook? Or was, like, Luca too clean? Unless you didn't eat clean. No, I think Luca just wasn't being punished by Zeus to have a handjob happen every day.

Okay, okay, okay, cool. Hey, what's the... Oh, wow. Crabbrook has a lot of attacks. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow, okay, okay. All... Oh, wow. Wow. Crab Girl has a lot of attacks. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay.

Okay. All right. Oh, man. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Tell me about the attacks from Crab Girl. I think most of them are pretty obvious. I mean, she's got Wash Wash.

You know what that is. Right. And Firm Grip. Sure. It's got my asterisk. And then there's Bubble Wash, which is different than Wash Wash. I want you to know. All right. Bubbles. And then there's also's bubble wash, which is different than wash wash. I want you to know. All right. Bubbles.

And then there's also bubble scrub, which is different than bubble wash and wash wash. Okay. And there's bubble hand job. Okay. Which is, I think that one's obvious. Right. Come on. Yeah.

And then there's full body bubble massage. Yeah. Because that's. And then there's melty wash, which is different than wash wash, but it's similar to bubble wash. And there's bubble bubble. Is there bubble Bubble, which is kind of like Wash Wash. We're getting there. We got Crab Beam, which is delicious.

Full Grasp. Now, I guess if you get leveled up, you get Bubble Wash Heaven. Ooh. Oh, Bubble Wash Heaven. That. Oh, Bubble Wash Heaven! That doesn't sound like something I'd like at all. I don't like Bubble Wash Heaven. What else do you have? Well, how about Bubble Shake Hell?

Yay! Yay! I think we can safely say all of this is Bubble Shake Hell. Fuck. Bubble, special bubble hand job. Sweet. Full body bubble hell And And

Hellish penis washing Dun dun dun Dun dun dun These were all offered These were all offered by the car wash that Walter White owned Jesus And I gotta tell And just so you know

In case you ever encounter this person, if she gives you a hellish penis washing, that could be a one-hit KO. So you watch it. She ties a pine freshener on it. I think it's a bit of a stretch calling Crab Girl a person. I mean,

she's a girl, right? It says it right there in the name. That's fair. Yeah. Somewhere in there is. That's fair. Yeah. That's a little silly. Somewhere in there is some human body parts. Wow. So yeah, so we've done Mantis Girl, Earthworm Girl, Crab Girl

of course, and that means that I think it's probably time for Sea Cucumber Girl. Yes, yes it is. Wow. So, Nunchuck, can you tell me a little bit C. Cucumber Girl. Yes. Yes, it is. Wow. So, Nunchuckool, can you tell me a little bit about C. Cucumber Girl? Oh, my God. Oh.

Sure. Better you than me. Let me describe what C. Cucumber Girl looks like. A fleshlight with a Barbie doll glued to it. It's like a really bad version of those Barbie doll cakes that your parents make when you're little. Monsterpedia Entry. An extremely greedy monster, they infest the shorelines.

Their staple food is male semen. Of course it is! Which is hard, because in this game, I think that that's pretty rare and in demand. It's like these guys can't even go outside anymore for fear of, you know, Oh, God, it's a monster. No, well, they're part of the bukkake train, I think.

Do any of them just eat plants? What's really the nutritional content that they're getting out of the semen? Tell me more. Okay. Tell me more Okay When they find a healthy male They attack and suck his body into her mouth Looking like a huge female genital If you've never seen a female genital

She is able to control every muscle inside of her To force the man to ejaculate Able to shake her inner wall The sea cucumber girl is able to give an amazingly pleasurable squeezing stimulation. I doubt that! I mean, maybe I just don't know what the meaning of pleasure

is. You haven't known pleasure, so you've been squeezed by a sea cucumber girl. I haven't known pleasure. I guess so. Okay. a sea cucumber girl. I haven't known pleasure. I guess so. Okay. Like that, she can force her catch to ejaculate until they are sucked dry, greedily sucking up everything. She's a very dangerous monster.

If she's just interested in cum, like, is sucking up the entire... I mean, that just seems like overkill, doesn't it? Well, she's a monster girl. Yeah. Not human's a monster girl. Yeah. Not human girl, monster girl. I don't fucking know. I'm just trying to... Unable to differentiate

between feeding and reproduction. God damn you to hell. Much like the writer of this wikia who is always eating Cheetos and masturbating. What if there was a Cheeto? I'm sure there is. I'm sure

there's a whole monster wikipedia that's nothing but anthropomorphized junk food. Yeah. Okay. The semen she squeezes is used for conceiving children. In addition, there have been cases of sea cucumbers attacking human females and other monsters. Holding them

in their mouth, she will squeeze out all of their bodily fluids. Yay! Yay! Yay! So, you know how C. Cucumber Girl, not Shell, you know how C. Cucumber Girl has a move that's called suction preparation? Uh-huh.

I don't understand that. Why is there a move called suction preparation? I don't get it. Well, it's an attack that's used as a preparation for C. Cucumber's suck. Oh, of course. Thank you. You can't just, like, suck a guy.

You gotta do a little sucking foreplay or something. The thing that gets me is that this is a C. Cucumber, and there's nothing in here about her turning inside out. Yeah. Now that you mention it. Can you give me an overview of the battle with C. Cucumber Girl? Sure. This is an easy battle. Sea Cucumber Girl? Sure. This is an easy battle. Just use normal attacks to defeat her.

If you're bound, struggle to break free. If Luca loses, his semen is endlessly used as a source of food for the rest of his life. Oh no, looks like I lost again. She will occurs. So, my name is Beezjo I'm Beezjo This is my review

She is Hmm Unique? No! You'll use the word Unique to avoid using the word Bad but she isn't. The way she looks and how she'll rape a person is like copy and pasted from The Leech Girl, but has an aquatic look.

Oh. Yeah. Ugh. Gross. Gross. Her battle is another copy and paste easy fight, which is the only nice part. Wait. Which the only nice part is the scripted moment before the fight start and i must say semicolon if i had to get raped from any of the monster girls on that beach i wouldn't mind if it was her because i wouldn't want a handjob or sex from Crab Girl.

And I think the only way I'll have sex from Shellfish Girl is if I marry her. End of review. Oh, wow. Are these people even from this planet? What the fuck? So now I'm going to go look at Shellfish Girl.

Oh, there's Shellfish Girl, yeah. Well, you go ahead and do that because I had to scroll down because I did find Anglerfish Girl in the document. So Anglerfish Girl is the final monster Luca faces before meeting with Kraken. the final monster Luca faces before meeting with Kraken. She is devoid of thought and completely blind and doesn't in fucking

the slightest way look like an anglerfish. That in no way looks like an anglerfish. I thought anglerfishes were covered in tentacles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she does kind of have the head dangly thing. Yeah, except for it kind of looks like a chandelier

Yeah I guess she's got a taste for home decorations Sort of She is devoid of thought and completely blind To compensate, she senses body heat To detect her opponents And This may surprise you

Devour their semen You just flipped the fucking script there, didn't you? That's why this game is so good, because it always keeps you guessing. Yeah. Fuck yeah. All right. So, okay, so here's the Monsterpedia entry. So, obviously, you're all going to want to consult.

And here's what it says. A large fish monster, she is close to the mermaid family. What? However, since she lives in the deep sea, her face and behavior are much different. Unable to see due to living in the darkness

of the deep sea, she uses temperature to detect her prey. Her abdomen has a mouth that is not seen in other monsters. As if a digestive organ, her flesh is able to suck in and assimilate her prey. Once her prey gets stuck in her flesh, they are slowly dragged into the angler fish girl's body. Why can't she just use her mouth? I mean, isn't that what mouths are?

Oh, never mind. Just think about that. Just take a second to ruminate on that. Once her prey gets stuck in her flesh, they are slowly dragged into the anglerfish girl's body. Sounds like my ex-girlfriend. Am I right, fellas? Yeah, so, I mean, the anglerfish is basically

the second cousin of the gelatinous cube, so this all makes perfectly logical sense. Yep. Alright. Even after being assimilated, it appears as though the man's consciousness remains like that, comma, the man will remain

aware of being one with the anglerfish girl, but unable to speak or do anything. Isn't that hot? Isn't that fucking sexy? My favorite part was when she ate semen. My favorite part was when the man was trapped with her forever and ever.

I like that she can't break up with him! Well, we seem to have done a lot of fish and insects and stuff like that. Let's do some plants! Let's do some plants, you say? Yeah! That should be safe.

Alright, Nutshell, you're looking for a plant girl, no problem. We're going to be looking at Alla Rudy. Alla Rudy. I don't understand what I'm looking at all Rudy all Rudy I don't understand what I'm looking at here but I do understand that it's gross so explain to me

what the fuck's going on here with this plant girl do you want just the monstropedia entry or do you want the whole thing well I need to get a summary first I need to know what I'll... I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at. Are you sure that'll help? Alra Rudy is an...

Alra... Fuck, I can't pronounce it. Alra... Raun? Sure. That sounds perfect. Well, the sad thing is that I know that's a monster from folklore,

and I've seen B-horror movies based on it, and now they made it into a nutty anime girl. That wants to suck you off, probably. No, I'm pretty sure Bukkake won't be involved in this one. You're right, I'm probably assuming. I'm putting $500 on the line on that one. Absolutely. Congratulations on getting $ that one. Absolutely.

Congratulations on getting 500 more dollars. Yeah. I mean, in advance. I'm just going to say it's Alroon. It's an Alroon from Plant Sect Village that contains dryad blood within her. Rudy's body is mostly composed of tree roots. Hot. Alright.

That sounds chafey. When Luca when Luca first meets Alla Rudy she and Alla Arum were cornered by a pack of insects.

Horrified to see the forest embroiled in civil war Luca rushes to the rescue and seals and drives away all three insects.

By singing the song Civil War by Guns N' Roses I'm sure. Nothing lasts forever with us. Turn November in. I don't need your Civil War. Yeah, there it is.

Fucking shitty band. Okay. Astonished but grateful, Allra Rudy and Allra Arum grant him an audience with the Allra Priestess. They give him a history of the war from their view and enlist his help in overthrowing the Queen Bee,

despite Alyssa's warnings to stay out of this. However, even after he finally defeats Queen Bee, Allra Rudy and Allra Arum show up and continue attacking the helpless insects, and Arum sucks a hornet girl dry. Disgusted at their cruel behavior, Luca turns against Allra Rudy and Allra Arum and promptly seals them both, defeating Rudy's first... defeating Rudy first.

Later, Allra Rudy is one of the plants who's restored once the Canaan sisters were vanquished, having acknowledged the war was over. She promised to stop sucking insects dry, and she'd rather have human semen instead. Oh, no!

Damn it! Chick, chick! Damn it! Yep. Fuck, so many words weren't semen, and then they were. She begs for Luca to give her some, but he flatly refuses. Yeah, my boy Luca. Luca has standards.

What are all of Rudy's Attacks Wow Well there's double tit fuck Which is a normal attack Which will trigger chest bakaki on loss God damn it And there's double blowjob

Normal attack will trigger mouth bakaki On loss I don't know where she's getting these doubles from. She's only got two tits and one mouth. What's up with that? Maybe she gives you one and then she gives you another one immediately thereafter? I don't buy it. Is that a double blowjob?

That's just a consecutive blowjob. I don't think that's a double blowjob. Anything else? I wonder if Luca wouldn't give this lady a semen. Hang on here. I'm going to Google double blowjob and see what comes up. All right. See you on the other side. All right, then.

Rudy Kress. Normal attack will trigger hand Bukkake on loss. Guys, it's all pornography. Rudy... Rudy Hold triggers bind status, and Rudy Draw is a blinded attack. So let's say hypothetically that Luca gets into a battle with all of Rudy, and Luca loses. What would happen in that situation? Oh wait, no, before I say. I think I, before I say, I think I answered my own question

because it says in her battles, she teams up with all of our room. So I think that the double tip hook and double blow job is probably a team. Oh, okay. That's, yeah, that's actually pretty erotic. Yeah, I can see it. Sounds great.

Yep. There's nothing more erotic than having to have something explained to you. Okay, so this time, losing to a couple of plants? Sheesh, you have no taste in partners.

These monsters are not too powerful alone, but together they are quite troublesome. But with that said, since they are plants, Sylph is quite effective. If you summon her, you will be able to avoid many of their attacks. Gnome has been quite useful until now, but Sylph shines against plant types. It may also be a good idea to quickly unleash powerful sword skills to bring the fight down to a more manageable one versus one. Now go, oh brave Luca.

This time, bring your blade of justice down on the Owl Runes. What? Okay. Wait, I'm the first commentator on Owl of Rudy? Okay, great. And I just have this to say. Yep. This is a nightmare. No way.

I'm a Wikia contributor. Yeah, she looked kind of ugly. Yeah, that's precisely why I wanted Luca to become her slave. Except she kills him when he loses. Oh, yeah, I was disappointed by her game over. Then I was hoping for a post-game ending with her.

And I was disappointed again! Much like the rest of my life. Then Mom burned the mac and cheese and I was disappointed again! Oh, god damn it. Yeah, gross. So that was Alla Rudy. It's one of several plant-based monster girls. There's also Allra Vor, which is pretty much the same basic idea,

except for this one's a little bit more of like a kind of a Venus flytrap thing. I found a pitcher plant, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, totally. Yeah, pitcher plant. But, you know, the idea is pretty much the same. But this one, if you scroll down there, Jack Chick, what did Baraka from Rose think of this?

Hey! Where are the nipples? What is the point in censoring hentai? That just shows how stupid is this government which demands it. I hope they will erase that stupid article about punishment for not censoring. Hey, hey, yeah, you know, it's true that it's idiot and no logic. And I want to pump you up.

Censoring real video can still be done for a logic reason, even though it pissed me off too. But censoring hentai? That's a really stupid and no logic thing to do, because it's not real. I tried to understand why, but I really can't understand why!

This guy really needs to get a waifu so he can understand that hentai is real. I demand that all my plant monsters have nipples. Does that make sense? Yeah! I'm gonna go, like, I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna picket the White House right now. Nipples

on plants! Who's with me? You listen up. You want this wiki to stay up? You deal with it. When this wiki was first created, we had terms and conditions to agree to. As this is still wiki's web space, not explicitly ours, censorship being one of those conditions.

Imagine they want it back. If you find it cuts too much into your rights, then by all means, set up a server and pay for the bandwidth. Otherwise, this is a dead issue. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, this is a dead issue. Did you say dead tissue. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, this is a dead issue. Did you say dead tissue? Oh, fuck.

No. We tried to get away with what we could. We were threatened to have the wiki closed down and we had to barter to even keep up with the pad. I'll give you 50 bobble caps if you keep the server running I have 5 grain cards

I don't know all my rolls to oxen yolks? I have this spare grain silo if you wanted to help us out with that what is the 1910 gangster doing with a grain silo? hey I don't ask questions about how you run your business.

I guarantee it. Anyway. So don't give us the crap because you can't see a few glorious nipples in a game which already has cock and vagina censored. Us admins did what we could to even keep the site up.

Don't forget that. You ungrateful bastard. We served at Iwo Jima and then we kept the monster girl wiki up. Hey, hey man. Hey man, don't be like that.

I didn't blame the wiki, Steve. I'm just blaming the creator of this law, which censors hentai, not the wiki. So we're cool. I'm not actually making a strong declarative statement. That would be dangerous. No, no, no. Then people wouldn't like me. Well, everyone, it's Then people wouldn't like me. Well, everyone,

it's the name. The ending is Vor. I hope you can sleep better at night because I really hate Vor. Sex is all and good, but not worth dying. Oh my god.

Is this the lone voice of reason? Yeah, let me edit that. Edit. Well, everyone, it's in the name the ending is for. I hope you can sleep better at night, because I really hate for. New paragraph. Sex is all good, but not worth dying for. There.

I like how he updated that, like, two weeks later. Like, oh, hey, I didn't clarify that enough. Let me type the exact same fucking thing in. Unless it was somebody else. A different Wicked contributor who had to go correct him. She look ugly. All right, so we've had some insect girls, some fish girls, some plant girls. But this is a video game, and you know what video games have?

They have zombies. Oh, no. What? Good lord. Great. Acier. Acier, tell me about Zombie Girl, please. Well, I've got to tell you that she's an experiment of chrome within the haunted manor.

Oh, so she's got like OpenGL and Green Sock and nobody else thinks that's funny but me. Never mind. Sorry. Correct. Magic collected in a human corpse that turns it into an undead monster. Due to the brain rotting away, the zombie girl has almost no intellect and barely any memories of her previous life. Cold and

craving warmth, they desperately attack and rape men, trying to claim the faint memories of their old bodies. Oh, is that why zombies attack? Right. They're just looking to warm up. Very slow. Their vitality is very high.

Once they mount a man, it's not possible to get them off, no matter how much you attack them. If you're undead, come ride it! And this is the clincher, so you... The strange feeling of her rotting jaw... He is able to force men to eject him. the strange feeling of her rotting gender. He's able to force men to ejaculate. No. It's ejaculating horror.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. So that's what happens to the pot roast. Fantastic. Honey, I'm a little bit disappointed in you We just won't tell Aunt Ethel Since the zombie girl Will never reclaim what she has lost She will continue raping men until he dies. Of course.

In some rare cases, the magic sustaining the zombie girl will flow into the man and turn him into a zombie. Like that, he will be raped for an eternity. Wait, what? Wait, so then he's a zombie. Yeah. But then he's raped after being a zombie, what? Wait, so then... So then he's a zombie. Yeah. But then he's raped after being a zombie, too? It's like a perpetual zombie motion machine. With sex.

Oh. Right. So, well, I mean, that would neutralize her, I guess. I don't know. All you need to know is the one attack she's got is called Pointless Mating. Man, I just can't get into this one. I just don't feel like there's anything I need to do.

You don't? Okay. Well, that's cool. You know what? Fine. That's cool, Jackcheck. No problem. I'm looking out for your boner. I really am. I really am. If you didn't like Zombie Girl, no problem. No problem. Let's find the thing you do like. So let me ask you, which thing do you think that you'd find more sexy?

Would it be Leech Girl or Lava Girl? Ooh. So, I mean, I saw the comment earlier that Sea Cucumber Girl was really similar to Leech Girl. So I'm going to lead away from that and I'm going to go with Lava Girl. Makes sense. Makes sense. Okay, so Lava Girl. Tell me about her, please.

All right. Give me one second while I load up the page. Okay. So the Lava Girl is the first enemy. Luca fights in Gold Volcano. Oh, good. This accent. Oh, yay.

What are you talking about accent? I knew it would show up at some point. She is a type of slime composed of magma. In order to prevent her prey from being killed in her intense heat, she lowers her body temperature to the same as a human female's vagina. Yeah, sure. So she's thoughtful, I guess. Yeah, sure. So she's thoughtful, I guess. Yeah, definitely.

I mean, that's nice. She doesn't want to kill people. She wants to rape them. Type of slime composed of magma. Yes. So magma. A monster who lives in a volcano with her body comprised mainly of magma.

A subspecies of the slime family, she's able to freely manipulate her body comprised mainly of magma. A subspecies of the slime family, she's able to freely manipulate her body. Clearly. With semen as her energy source. Oh, interesting! How unexpected! It was just a matter of time until that showed up, duh? Duh.

She wraps around the male's body in her magma when she locates from... Never mind. Nope. Naturally, she lowers her body temperature so as not to kill the male. The preferred temperature is the same as a human female's vagina. Holding her prey like that, she

will spin her magma around his penis, forcing him to multiple orgasms. Why does this always force orgasms? Like a whirling dervish of lava around your dick? That's what this is all about? No, but if you wanted to force an orgasm out of somebody, I feel like some of these methods are questionable.

You swirl magma around your dick. That's just good practice. It's okay. It's not hot magma. It's only the temperature of a human female's vagina. A human female's vagina. It's not hot magma. It's only the temperature of a human female's vagina. A human female's vagina. It's cooled down to rock. Yeah, just swirl a bunch of rocks around your head.

Oh, it would be, wouldn't it? So why is she like friction burn girl? Yeah, it's a 98 degree... Oh, god damn it. There's a swirling vortex of obsidian chunks. By my penis, I'm okay with that. Oh my god, this is forcing me to orgasm.

I mean, Lemon, presumably you're a man and you have a penis. Sure, yeah, absolutely. And how? Haven't you ever taken your penis and given it an Indian burn? Uh, I don't think so.

Goodness. Uh, well, let me tell you, you're missing out. Okay. Okay, cool. Excellent. Awesome, tell me more. There are very few adventurers who travel near the volcano, so prey is extremely precious. Due to that, the lover girl is very careful not to let any precious prey die.

Due to that, the lover girl is very careful not to let any precious prey die. She will hold him inside her body in an aura equivalent to her womb and ensure he's perfectly safe until his natural lifespan runs out. I have no idea what the fuck I just read. That does not make any goddamn sense. This specifically doesn't make any goddamn sense. Okay. It's all been pretty sensical up to this point. Yeah, I mean, you can draw logical conclusions, but I mean...

All right, all right, all right. And then if Luca dies to Magma Lava Girl, what happens there? What? Stuck inside a Lava Girl's womb and giving her semen? How is that even possible? Well, I guess you're slightly special in that regard. Gnome is effective against

her, so be sure to summon her. In addition, the new skill is quite powerful, so make use of that. Now go, brave Lucan. Remember that magma is dangerous to play with. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey hey hey hey hey what's up look something's not right here all right well some some things plural things something no one just one something oh just one okay because i thought more things were fucked up than just one hear me out if you will just one thing now if the profiles say that she keep her victim until the end of

their lifespan, period. That's it. Anyway, how do they get nutrition? Based on what she said during her H scene, they won't die anytime soon. So how do they go on without water and food? And please don't tell me the lava gives nutrition because that makes no sense. And I will laugh my ass off. Oh, indeed.

I'm laughing and I'm coming. This is the best Oh wait wait wait Ace here I actually have a response to you I'm Red Lotus X So let's think of it this way Smiley face She keeps him alive through magical means

I was right. Yeah, I know it's stupid, but every monster in this game are monster girl, and lots of them are, and lots of them know magic or something similar, so it's not far-fetched that

how she keep him alive. Okay, okay. The only one thing that I am curious about is how it must feel to be completely inside. I know when partway through, it can trigger incontinence. And then the ejaculation get worse as you get inside. Completely must be insane.

I guess having a boner would be Luca least worry smiley face. I think so. How does he know that? Ugh. How did this dude make it more horrifying? How is that physically fucking possible? Magic!

This whole wiki is on a dare. Fair point. Nutshell, what does a wiki contributor think of this? You know, this lady remind me of quicksand, a very warm quicksand. You sink down in her until you drown in pleasure forever in her womb. No, I mean, that's just like you antlion girl. I don't think so. Antlion girl drains you straight to death, I believe,

while lava girl likes to smoke in a pleasuring bath for as long as you have left to live. I agree with you, but I just like slimes! You say you like slimes, so does this mean Quicksand is slimy? I don't...

How is slime related to Quicksand? Nothing, it's just comparison. I mean, the way the age scene goes and how Luca get gradually covered by the lava or sink into. Remind me of quicksand. I am amazed there are no comment for this one. Well, anyway, she looks strangely kind of cute. And there was something that was bugging me. What was that?

How hot is she actually when she get you? I know Luca was describing how it feel in her so is this wiki as well but when it's say as hot as a vagina frankly i don't know what it means no shit no you don't is it as hot as a hot spring or lower oh underscore oh question question question question sorry if you use the word hot so time, although no one can blame me for this. I mean, I can. Since she is lava, it would be hot. But not hot enough to kill somebody.

That is what I am curious about. Lol, just imagining how hot it could be. How hot does it take for incontinence to kick in anyway? Where are they getting the fucking incontinence from? From themselves.

From their fucking diet. Hey, guys, guys, we need to get this fucking thing removed. Her image has fucking nipples on it. Does it? Really? Oh my god, you're right. I can't cope with that. I am reporting you, lava girl. This is unacceptable.

Oh my god, all the blob girls unacceptable. What if children see this? The previous conversation about that, about the censoring of the stuff means that somebody at Wikia headquarters ended up finding out that this Monster Girl Wikia existed.

And then didn't immediately hit the kill switch. which is what I would do in that position. We have a wiki on? No, we do not. Do you know? I mean, sure, there's some wikis on various popular games, but otherwise, this is where they make their money. Oh, really? I would assume.

No, I guess you're probably right. That makes sense. Or like, safe for work porn. Fuck. Horrible. Okay. So we are right here at the end, which means that we have... Before we end, can I just play a little game?

Yeah. What two categories of monster do you think have the most entries? Hmm. That's a... Okay. Animal girls. That's close. Slime Okay. Animal girls. That's close. Slime girls. Yeah, insect.

Insect. Nope. No. That's pretty high. Blob. Tentacle monsters. Oh, dear. God damn it.

Okay. And then the second most common is voracious monsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that just a predator? That would just be a monster to me. Aren't they kind of all voracious for dick? If you know what I mean.

So, yeah, thanks to King Calamari for putting this thing together. There's a bunch more. Mosquito Girl. She looks punk. She looks punk rock. There's also Beelzebubs. I don't know what the fuck they are, but they're gross.

But there's one more monster, and that is a monster that is actually an Iron Maiden. Yeah! Fucking finally. Yeah, so obviously, Jack Chick, this goes to you. So tell me about Iron Maiden so Iron Maiden is a kick ass metal band from Britain I disagree heavy metal parking lot taught me

that Judas Priest was better than Iron Maiden I mean I think we're splitting hairs here really but you're probably talking about this fucking asshole thing on this fucking wiki that I don't want to read okay and torture device invented by Lily through transforming

a villager, the Iron Maiden catches men and locks them in, squeezing their semen dry with its tentacles. With its tentacles! Well, if you go down to the gallery, it does have a shot of what it looks like when it's open. Boo!

That's horrible! Oh! Now, listeners, you know, I like you guys, so, you know, you probably don't want to look at that, but imagine an Iron Maiden with tentacles inside. And now imagine that it's horrible. That's what it is.

And somebody wrote poetry about it, too. Yay! All right, keep going, please. I'm sorry. Okay. All right. Yeah, don't look at that anymore. Ooh, okay.

It is a lewd monster. For once captured, there is no escape. As Luca transverses through Lily's mansion in the Witch Hunt Village, he meets a hero battling an Iron Maiden. Luca tries to help, but the cages between them continuously deflect his attacks. The man is then sucked into the Maiden's interior and squeezed endlessly. A second Iron Maiden proceeds to attack Luca, but he holds his own and defeats it. Turning back to the first Maiden, her smile becomes

more lewd as more semen drips. Well, that does make her more lewd, I suppose. Angered, Luka marches into the Mastermind's room once and for all. Does that make sense to anybody? He's... I'm gonna go into this room now.

I'm so furious. The result of another Lily's experiments in transforming a villager into a torture device. It locks a man inside of his body and uses every aspect of her interior to stimulate the man. Yay! It's like you're inside of a pussy,

but it's made of tentacles and metal. Yay! That sounds kind of... Oh, wait, no. Okay. No! Bad! Oh, I realized it was the wrong kind of metal. Fill the tentacles

inside of her body. He is left unable to move. No, that sentence doesn't make sense if I read it again. Once locked inside, the amount of force needed to open or back up is greater than the power of 20 men! If caught inside, there is no escape. The Iron Maiden will force the man to orgasm repeatedly until their death. By orgasm. It's new and original.

Lily uses the device to both collect a large amount of semen quickly and to dispose of men that have lost their use. Great. But wouldn't men who have lost their use have already been sucked dry by previous monsters? Yeah, I imagine that's probably something that Lily does anyways. Well, maybe you should play the game. Do you guys like trivia? The original translation is the best.

Do you guys like trivia? Yeah, I totally love trivia. Let me read you some trivia here. Okay. Despite being a counterattack, Nightmare Embrace does not need to be triggered by an attack when requested.

However, the only way to request is only by selecting the only option, Invitation to a Nightmare, as the former attack follows from it. That's good trivia, because I'm going to remember that. Yeah. That came up in a pub quiz last night. I didn't know, because I hadn't read this yet.

Also, the oozing pose of the Iron Maiden is not seen in battle, but it is seen on the epilogue losing screen and after capturing the imprisoned hero just before the battle. Did you notice that the internal shot of the Iron Maiden, now that we've scrolled down that far again, there's a sphincter in it? Yeah. No, I'm not looking there again. That was fucking awful. There's a piece of trivia that's incorrect, though.

What's that? It says here that the Iron Maiden is one of of trivia that's incorrect, though. What's that? It says here that the Iron Maiden is one of two monsters that can inflict confusion. I say all of them do. Now see, I thought you were going to go with the other trivia fact

of the Iron Maiden is based off of a torture device invented in the 19th century when that has been disproven and the Iron Maiden actually never was a torture torture advice invented in the 19th century when that has been disproven and the Iron Maiden actually never was a torture device. I like that you initially read that as torture advice. Torture advice. I don't know, maybe step on his balls? You know, a few minutes ago...

Have you tried sucking his semen dry? That's what it's for me. Dear Avatar, a torture advice column. So, F+, what do you think you learned from all of this I didn't drink enough that's what I learned no that's you know that's on you I mean fucking how many of these have you been in like

yeah but come on I think this hit a relatively new low for me god damn it much like how nerds will take anything this hit a relatively new low for me. God damn it. Much like how nerds will take anything and sexualize it, they'll also take anything

sexy and nerdify it. Wow. That's a great one. But that's a weird thing, because that is like this perverse Venn diagram of extremely perverse and extremely nerdy. And it's like this... It's a Japanese RPG where you've got, I don't know, min-max your fucking stats or semen reserves or whatever to withstand the bukkake attacks of monsters.

God damn it. Does it have a semen meter? Does it have a what? A semen meter. Do you not have HP? Do you just have sperm count? god damn it does it have a semen meter does it have a what a semen meter like is your do you not have hp do you just have sperm count and then as like you fight monsters your sperm gets sucked out and you have to maintain an acceptable level of sperm it's it's it's sort of i mean it's sort of interesting that like you know so again a long time ago uh we did the Pokegirls episode, which was, I mean, just fucking ridiculous.

But then we did this one, and this one exists. Like, this one's real. And this one's way grosser. What? There are three of these, from what I gathered from the comments. What?

I, I, oh, and there's a DeviantArt fan group run by Furrific. Of course there is. Well, I, oh, and there's a DeviantArt fan group run by Furrific. Of course there is. Well, der, yeah. Well, yeah, but... The website is always thefpl.us. Our forum is Ballpit, where, among other things,

you can find a posse to play the wrongest words with. And, uh, yeah, hit the flatter button. Bye-bye! Bye! Put the ejector seat on that one. wrongest words with and uh yeah hit the flatter button bye-bye bye But I'm almost there It's torture But I'm almost there It's torture It's torture And I'm almost there It's torture An upholstery

By the way, there's a category called Unfortunate Monsters. Is there another category called Fortunate Monsters? Would that be us? Her smile becomes more lewd as more semen drips. Yeah, I suppose it would.