The F Plus - 176: How To Listen To A Podcast Your Parents Hate

Episode Date: May 16, 2015

Boots gets more WikiHow for his birthday.

Oh my god, the pictures devoid of context are amazing. Yes! Don't read the words, just look at the pictures. Just look at your pictures. That would be a great podcast. Good idea, Victor. Alright, so for the next six minutes, we'll be completely silent. Why don't you, the listeners at home, go to www.

If you're currently on the highway, I recommend pulling over. Welcome to the F-Plus Podcast, an informational place for terrible things, right with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. Listen to Wizard Rock. Come Quats up! Now comes the fun part, wandering through your surroundings with a cup full of guano without being caught. Victor Laszlo. Next you say, knock knock. That is where the name of this joke originates.

He's doing live shows in New York and you should come see him, Adam Bozarth. How to stop dry heaving? Consider alternative measures like acupuncture. And lemon. Just give her a hug for no reason at all. Jakes love that. What was the reason for that hug? Was there a hug for no reason at all. Jakes love that. What was the reason for that hug? Was there a reason for that hug? Or was that

a gift certificate? Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. How you doing, Boots? I'm doing great. How many more days is it until your birthday? 30-something. Okay, so it's coming up soon, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's coming up soon. I'm excited. I'm waiting for the sweet presents. What kind of presents are you expecting to get for your birthday, Boots? Maybe my mom will call me. That doesn't sound like a very good present. Well, it'd be nice. Well, all of us gathered here, we want to present you a present together.

Oh. And that present is another episode of WikiHow! Yes! present is another episode of wikiHow! Yes! I can't imagine that anyone listening to this podcast doesn't know what wikiHow is, but just on the off chance, Boots, will you explain

what wikiHow is to the people? Yeah, wikiHow is a site you go to if you're not sure how to do or be or think something, and you want to see somebody's terrible opinions on how you might do, be, or think that thing, and then look at it and go, and then just go off and do something

else. Okay, so you're saying it's an advice site with questionable use. Yes. And this is our fourth? This is our fourth Wikihow episode. Yes. Well, you know, I didn't know where to start with this. There's a lot of different directions.

We opened this one up to Ball Pit, and in the course of, I want to say, two days, received 54 submissions of different pieces that we should read. We had the restriction that every person was only allowed to submit one. Yes, every person was only allowed to submit one, and lots of people, like, immediately. Like, we got submissions so fast that I was like, okay, you guys just have this bookmarked because this happened way too soon. It was already in the clipboard.

So I wasn't sure where to go with, but I think this might be the way to start out. So, Victor, I'm a preteen girl, and I need to know how to boy-proof my room. Will you read us the Wikihow article, How to Boy-Proof Your Room, Preteen Girls? Okay, so this is how you boy-proof your room, preteen girls? Yep. You ever like get annoyed about some boy trying to get into your room just to mess it up so you get in trouble? Ever want to get rid of those pesky screw-up boys once and for all? Mm-hmm.

Here's how. Okay, okay. So you got some steps. Yeah. Step one, know what type of boys you want to avoid. They just said boys. I mean, I assume boy proof meant boys. I mean, I can... Well,

there's lots of different kinds of boys. Do you hate lame nerds? Do you despise dumb troublemakers? Make a list of what troublemakers, etc., live in your house or in your dormitory, preteen girls. What sort of house do I live in? Make sure you don't out anyone nice.

Wait, what are we, what? Yeah, like if you know, like, nice closet of gay guys, don't boy-proof your room and accidentally out them. Step two, add decorations you know those boys will never want to touch. Try using their phobias like spiders. Try using their phobias like spiders. Or something that brings back memories like the time you accidentally spilled glitter all over his shirt during the school dance. What?

Oh no, this was my good shirt. I'm a lame nerd. I would go in this room, but spiders. When the boy comes inside, if he dares, put on a chain to resemble something he hates. For example, a geeky boy could have a test paper, which you know he got a bad mark on. What?

Which you've cut up and put in a necklace? Or a string of hearts to remind him of the crush that hated him. So, I mean, all you need to do, really, just download, just cut out a picture of Aziz Ansari, put it in a necklace. Like, you're fine. Like, I'm not coming to your room anymore. But I don't want to scare everybody off. Oh, okay.

All right. anymore but i don't want to scare everybody off oh okay all right so you got that chain attach it across your walls and casually ask what it means to him he will stutter and make up a lie i think i forgive my parents for all those times they weren't listening when i was talking when I was like 11 years old. And then, there's a chain, but it means a thing to them, and then they think the thing and make up a lie. Dad, Mom? Mom! Dad, can we go? Mom! Mom! Mom!

Step four, take a box and put something that he hates in it. For example, a girly ballerina dress. Take a box, hates in it. For example, a girly ballerina dress. Take a box. Get in it. Or even a fake love letter written by his enemy, preferably a boy, to him. Even better, put in an embarrassing drawing. Plus points if he is with friends. Double victory!

Nowhere does it mention, take the thing out of the box. Or show him the thing. No, just the power of the thing itself. It'll transcend the box. When do you urinate it and fill it with broken glass? Well, if he hates both of those things, I guess you start there. Step five, choose a smell he hates along with some girly decorations. If you hate tough kids, soft smells are nice.

I hate tough kids. If you despise the lovey doves, put on pessimistic scribbles. Which is... Put them on them? Put them on you. So like, draw on yourself, but make it clear

while you're drawing on yourself that you don't give a fuck about drawing on yourself. It's completely pointless. Make eye contact with him while you're doing it. The scribble's just going to end anyway. Depending on the type of boy, you should find a smell or decoration that does not fit the boy's personality type. However, as long as it's girly and you like it, but boys don't, add it.

Or. Or? Step six. Put on a girly song and play it. The more sappy, the better. Take a girl artist like Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga and take her most girly hit. Now, how is that a girl artist? I mean, really.

Taylor Swift has a cross-cultural appeal. She belongs to the world. If you want to get to, oh no, the extreme, put on a song from a baby show like Hello Kitty or My Little Pony. Yeah, there you go! Yeah, that really repels adolescent boys. Step seven, mix up sweet-smelling hand sanitizers and perfumes. Mix them up.

Like a suicide. Make an arsenal, then put them in spray bottles. Keep them extra close so you can spray the boy on contact. It's starting to sound a little bit like assault. Step eight. Hang up pictures of famous girl celebrities. There's nothing that boys hate more than pictures of famous girls. I'll keep him out of my room.

I'll put up that Kim Kardashian break the internet photo. Step nine, tell him to go away. Oh, that's all the way at nine. Nope, nope. Step ten, watch the boy run away screaming. 10. Tell him to come back. Watch the boy run away screaming. Step 11. Enjoy your sweet victory with a movie,

a snack, and no boys. Forever. Just snacks and no boys forever. I love these ones where the first eight steps are completely unnecessary. Well, it's not unnecessary, more like nothing. Step 1. Tell him to go

away. Step 2, he goes away. Step one, make a wish on a pony and draw it and send it to your grandma. Can I get the third warning, please, Victor? Warning? Don't do it if parents are near your room. But feel free to do it in your parents' room because it's kind of fun. Oh, Lord. You. parents room because it's kind of fun oh lord yeah all right well that was uh that was really educational uh i really liked that a lot um so now that we know uh how to boy proof a room for

pre-teen girls uh we are going to find out how to remove mine tattoos. Now, this is a one for... Oh, we should... Should we announce who submitted these? Oh, yes, I'm so sorry. Yes, absolutely. So that first one there,

the how to boyproof your room for preteen girls, that was suggested by Glitter Bomber. Thank you. And then this one here... How apropos. And then this one here, how toropos. And then this one here. How to remove mind tattoos was submitted by

one Victor Laszlo. Yay, Victor! So, Kumquatsop, how do I remove mind tattoos? I don't know what mind tattoos are, but here's how to remove them. Well, you're gonna learn. You're gonna teach. You're gonna teach and them. Well, you're going to learn. You're going to learn. You're going to teach. You're going to teach and learn.

So, mind tattoos are mental imprints. They cloud and pollute your sense of mind and sometimes make you incapable of having happiness. Though not physically visible, these manifest themselves in your actions, reactions, and

thought processes, and more often than not, they are a negative imprint. Okay. So like debossing. Yeah. Not, yeah. Uh,

if body tattoos are exhibits, might we not view mind tattoos as inhibits? No, because that's not what inhibits means. Inhibits means a completely different thing.

Unable to be concealed, no matter how hard you try to cover them up with excuses, distractions, or addictions, mind tattoos harm you through their persistence and habitual nature. However, with small effort and much resolve, it is possible to shed your mind tattoos. Okay. Okay. Yeah. This makes so much sense. Oh, my God. This makes so much sense.

Yeah. On paper, the recipe is very simple. On the internet, it doesn't make fucking any sense at all. On the internet, it doesn't make fucking any sense at all. And certainly it will be harder to actually implement, but once you're resolved to deal with your mind tattoos, and once you dedicate yourself to this task, your life will take a turn for the better.

Okay, cool. So what's step number one, then? Ah. Number one. Use the simple displacement method. So, like, just put in a tub of water. Measure how much the water increased. That's the volume of your tattoo. That seems simple enough.

Yeah. Mind tattoos and negative mindsets grow in a vacuum. Oh. Yeah. Do not allow such a vacuum to be created in your mind. Because that'll make your mind implode. Increase your curiosity for things around you and beyond.

Allow yourself the privilege to be wonderstruck. That sounds like a privilege. I like that. Let the newness of every moment tickle your senses. Yes!

Do we understand any more about what mind tattoos are? Do we have any idea at this point? They are made by Dyson. Oh, okay. Question yourself. Keep asking what, why, when, where, and how. I am doing all of that right now. Yeah. A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind.

The knowing mind soon leads to arrogance and shutting down on newness. What? Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative. I know how to be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative. I know how to be creative. You don't. You don't. Knowing and creative are mutually exclusive. I feel like I'm getting suckered into a Reiki healing once again.

Once again? Tell me the first time. No, seriously. That's not a shoot for this podcast. This is not the Talk About My Mother podcast Oh, jeez Oh, God, where the fuck I don't know, man, there's a lot of fucking text on here

There's so much text I think there's at least eight steps here I think we need to skip to step six Maybe that'll help us learn what the hell is going on here. No, I think I need to read number five. Alright. Number five!

Come out of the habit of perennial dissatisfaction. Perennial dissatisfaction is a major indication of a person with a negative mindset. A positive thinker can spot such a person a mile away and will do their best to steer clear.

Hence, you attract more negativity than its opposite. Is perennial dissatisfaction like unhappiness with flowers? Yeah. It is good to be acutely aware of your dissatisfaction and unfulfilled desires however this awareness should not frustrate you or cause you to give up citing everything

as being too hard or all over even if you are frustrated, it should never be reflected in your behavior toward other people. As a matter of fact, you should use this awareness as a stimulus to realize your dreams and to be grateful for that which you have achieved already. I just posted another link. All right. What's step number six? I just posted another link. All right, what's step number six? Don't overestimate the effects of your level or lack of schooling.

Okay, I won't overestimate that. No, a feeling of being uneducated or inadequately educated is one of the biggest self-destructing tattoo one can carry around. I disagree. I think an SS tattoo on your neck is probably one of the most self-destructing tattoos one can carry around. Well, it depends on your environment, really. That's very true. But higher-level schooling can also imprint more negative tattoos, arrogance, self-righteous behavior,

and greater dissatisfaction with one's lots in life or sensitivity to past failures. Whatever category you fall into, understand that schooling is different from education. Okay, sure, I'll agree with that. Yeah, okay. I agree with one thing you said. Education is sourced from life itself. The people you meet, the things you discover, and the environment in which you move and observe daily.

Facebook pages you subscribe to as well. Very often, people with less or no schooling are found to be highly educated in matters of life. Left-schooled people are often highly successful because they have minds clear of the biases that

schooling can build into us. And all the bullies at school are just jealous of me anyway. So, did you drop out or flunk out, Kumquat? No, no, homeschooled. This is homeschooled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. The more highly schooled who have simply associated their learning with being of a higher status

might actually lack openness to new ideas and empathy for others so they wind up less likely to succeed. Okay, so if only somebody had done research on this. Those who seek education are less likely to learn.

Yes. Alright. Gotcha. Lab is clear. They're fucking brainwashed. Yes. Gotcha. Lab is clear. Fucking brainwashed. The benefits of an uncluttered mind. Probably getting vaccinated and shit. Boo. I have a warning.

What's your warning? What's your warning? Your mental tattoos are well entrenched and may resist evacuation initially. You need to be persistent and confident. You can and you will release your mind from them. So tattoos are thoughts that you poop. Bowels.

Okay. Filter the advice that comes in from other people with trial and error. Well, so that would mean do the advice that people give you? Because that would be the trial part. Yeah. But then do it wrong. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. But that goes without saying because of your mind tattoos. Yeah. Try it honestly. But when the trial fails, look at why. They can be right for themselves and wrong for you. Get ready for this I'm about to say. Sedentary people can get sick from lack of exercise,

but a disabled person can get sick from exercise. That is exactly how that works. No, no, don't take me to physical therapy! No, don't take me to physical therapy! Everybody knows curls give you cancer. If your friends and enemies both agree

on something about you, it's probably true or something about you that makes people see you that way. Profound. Hey, Adam. Do you know how to send dirty texts? Not really.

Okay. This explains so much. You never responded. I hope step one is get a phone. I mean, I think all of us here, we want to send dirty texts. But it seems kind of confusing. I would like to know how to send dirty texts.

I don't know if there's a why or... There is a how to send dirty texts. Okay, okay. Sending dirty texts or sexting is the perfect way to turn on your love interest and take things to the next level. As long as you send them to the right person at the right time. If you want to know how to send a dirty text that will excite your conversational partner as soon as you hit the send button. Just follow these steps. Okay, okay, good. Yeah, I'm on the hook. Part one of three.

Initiating a sexy texting session. Initiating step one. Test the waters. Even if you've been dating a girl or guy for months, it may turn out that this isn't the type of communication that she or he is comfortable with. For that reason, it's important to test the waters before you get into raunchy or explicit messaging and completely throw the person off. Start with a simple greeting like, hey, baby, or hey, sexy, and see how the person responds. I am about to text you a picture of my balls.

Text back opt out to not receive a picture of my balls. Siren emoji. Siren emoji. Balls. If you're not too explicit at first, you can also just play it off

and deny that you were even trying to send a sexy text if the person gets angry or accuses you of trying to start something. Yeah? Okay, sure. No, that was a sentence, so ignore it. Yeah, let's just listen to another one. Just start with a sexual undertone. If you just say, what's up?

Or, how are you? It'll be more difficult to transition to a sexy mindset. You are wet. It's better to set the tone right away so the person knows what to expect. You are insanely wet. Get ready. Hardness coming. You can also say,

I'm a little bored. I could use some excitement in my life. Block. Why don't we go bowling? Why don't you go snap into a Slim Jim? Go fuck yourself. Try this. I saw a girl who looked just like you in this movie.

Best start. Best start possible. She was really hot, but you're even hotter. Yep, works every time. Nothing a girl likes more than being compared to another person. Hey, you kind of look like Scarlett Johansson sometimes. Thanks, Lemon. I mean, it's true. Step two.

Wait for the person to respond in a sexy way. Once the person on the other end responds to the opening text in a favorable manner, it's time to play ball. I do look like Scarlet Trance and want to play baseball. But how long should I wait? See, I'm looking up how to respond to sexy texts. It's not actually helpful. I don't know how to respond if the thing's happening. I do not believe that.

Everything on Wikihow is helpful. If it takes too long, you may not be in the mood anymore, and you can have fun another day. Don't keep sending dirty texts if you get no response. If the person comes back to his or her phone to a slew of dirty texts, that will just look weird.

Where are you? I'm licking your pussy right now. It's hard. Look at it. Look at it. Look at the underside of it. If the person isn't into it, don't try to pursue it. Just apologize quickly and move on with your day. There's no need to make a big production out of it.

My day just involves fucking texting people, so... I guess I'll have to just send it to somebody else. Part two of three, keep it going. Up the ante. Continue to send dirty texts, but make them more explicit. You can even start to suggest that you can come over

to put your dirty words into action. If the girl you're texting says she's studying sex ed, you can just ask if you can come over for a hands-on tutorial. Here's some other things you can say to Up The End. Don't do that.

Hang on, let me put on some clothes. It's so hot in here, I'm going to take off my shirt. You are getting so hot, you're going to take your shirt off. What are you wearing on this balmy night? Balmy? What? Balmy. shirt off. What are you wearing on this balmy night? Balmy? What?

Balmy. It's such a hot, balmy Mississippi evening. I could use some excitement in my life. Can you guess the color of my underwear? Sure, yeah, okay. Black. Great. It's black. It's downtown brown.

Ew, that, okay. Black. Great. It's black. It's downtown brown. Ew, that sounds horrible. If the person responds favorably, raise the stakes even higher. If you see that the person you're texting loves the dirty texts and maybe even wants to connect in person, then you can make the conversation even more explicit. You can talk about actually seeing the person you're texting, or about touching yourself, or taking

off your clothes. Here are some things you can say. I took off all my clothes. I'm just lying under a blanket now. Under a blanket? It's a little cold in here. I'd text you, but I'd rather close my eyes than imagine you were here.

What? Okay, well, good night then, I guess. It's freezing in here. Why don't you come keep me warm? Oh, my God, I'm so cold all the time. On this balmy evening, it's so cold. Sorry it's taken a while to text you back. My hands are a little busy.

No. No. I was masturbating when we were talking. Is that okay? What else should I do? Get creative! Okay. If both you

and the other person are really into dirty texting, then you can keep going. I think that's been the last three steps. Well, okay, what sort of things should I say? What sort of things should I say at this stage? Oh, to keep going? Yeah, well, how do I keep going from here? How do I get creative?

If you were here, I'd start stroking your hair, but then I'd start stroking something else. I don't... I'm so excited I can barely text. I'm wearing this tight shirt. Do you want me to take it off for you?

I'm taking off your belt. I'm thinking about whipping you with it. Huh? What? I just got out of the shower. Got out of the shower? What's up?

So my hair is soaking wet. Do you have a towel? Well, sure, but I'm somewhere else. Come bring me a towel. I'm not going to deliver you a towel. I'm not Pink Dot. Use the offer code. Come bring me a towel. I'm not going to deliver you a towel. I'm not Pink Dot. Use the offer code, ComeTowel to get 30% off.

Part 3 of 3, Finishing Strong. Here's a bottle of champagne. Oh, there's a bottle. It's Finishing Strong. And then there's champagne coming out of a bottle. It's just a bottle that's ejaculating. I get it. Have fun with mutual masturbation.

If the dirty texting is going in the right direction, I'll just go ahead and say, all you have to do is let loose and talk dirty until you've both orgasmed. That's all. Okay, but what should I say while we're both talking dirty? You could say, I want you to verb my body part. This can make the sexy experience feel more real, robot beep boop. Hey, Adam. Yes?

Would you verb my body part? Lemon. What? I am a noun who's been taken for a number of years. You adjective, adverb, pronoun. Tell the person how your body feels during the exchange. Okay. I'm all clammy and gross.

Do you know what a stroke feels like? I'm shivering on towels for you, baby. No, not that kind of stroke. Yeah, the bad one. I thought that was the bad one. Describe every little sensation, even what you're feeling in your toes. Really? Jesus.

My toes are getting cramped, baby. My lungs are like a fungus. My fingers are really sore from all this fucking texting. See the person you're texting. Mutual masturbation is fun, but so is hooking up in person. Oh, have sex with a human being. Of course. Let's just skip that one.

What's next? Have sex with the person. If the conversation is going in that direction, then you can just ask the person if she wants to come over or invite her over to your place. If it's clear that this... Wait, wait, wait. What? Is this article assuming that the readers of this are male?

Well, at this point, they are, yes. Texting a girl? It was... What? Yeah, they're only straight males from now on. All right, so then go over and fuck them, and then what? What do I do after that? Here are some things you can say.

I'm trying to picture how hot you look, but I'd rather just see you in person. Why don't you come climb into bed next to me? I want to see if it's as good as I'm imagining it to be. Yum. Gross. I guessed the color of your underwear, but how will I know if I was right? You're a liar! Why don't we continue this in person?

I want to use my hands for something other than texting. I want to play the new Call of Duty Black Ops. Jazz hands! Why don't I drop in on you? I'll be in the neighborhood anyway if you want me to be. I'll be in the neighborhood if you want me to be. Okay, yeah. Man, I remember when you had to do all this without a cell phone.

You only had to do it with index cards and ballpoint pens. Man, the Dewey Decimal System was really a boner. It sucked so much. Yeah, you'd have to file all of your texts. Yeah. And cite the sources, too. And then what's the last step? What do I do after that?

End the exchange. Whether you're ending the exchange because you're coming to see the person or because you both got what you wanted. You should be suave when you end things. Oh, those are the only end scenarios for this. Yes. Yeah. Thank you.

I got what I wanted. Well, there was no possible failure in any of this. You read a Wikihow article. It's fine. Apologize extensively. Hey, Boots. Hey, Levin. Hang on. I would just like to point out that

after the end of the exchange section, WikiHow really wants to know whether or not I can help them with telling them about turtle care. I got, I got, we can really use your help. Can you tell us about guns and ammunition?

I got, can you tell us about tying yourself up with rope for a magic trick? They asked me to rate articles. I feel like I got a rock. Anyway, Boots, I got a whole bunch of submissions here. And that one, oh, I didn't mention it. I'm sorry. How to send dirty text there was suggested by Old Zircon. So thank you so much for that.

But, Boots, what would you like to do? Would you like to make a hilarious comeback? Okay. Or would you like to, where was it? Okay. Would you like to find a foreign wife from Europe or America? Okay, well, I'm already kind of a master at hilarious comebacks. Yeah.

So you really need a foreign wife? Yeah, so let's find a foreign wife from Europe or America. All right, well, this one was suggested by a Mr. Boots Reingear. So, sorry, Montreth. I liked it. I liked it. But, yeah, you got thrown in the pressure.

Yeah. So, this is pretty special. If you go to, and this is only at this recording, I have no idea what will happen in the future, but what I know at this moment in time is that if you go to and this is only at this recording, I have no idea what will happen in the future, but what I know at this moment in time

is that if you go to How to Find a Foreign Wife from Europe or America, you get the following text. This article has not yet passed Wikihow's quality review process. Okay, close! Wait, wait. The biggest

revelation of this entire show is Wikihow has a quality review. Yes! Yes! I mean, we're this many episodes into Wikihow, and that is stunning that this feature exists. Well, I mean, for the third episode, the pictures were new. So now it's finally like, Well, I mean, for the third episode, the pictures were new. Yeah. So now it's finally like, okay, now we've got to make sure these pictures aren't of something gross.

Oh, yeah. And I guess we've got to figure out whether or not you can find a foreign wife from Europe or America. Yeah. How to find a foreign wife from Europe or America. Okay. Find a foreign wife from Europe or America. Okay. If you are a guy who wants to improve his living and move to other countries and find your soulmate,

then here are some tips that will help you. And I've got five methods, which... These are methods. So method number one is to collect money for going to the country you want we are raising money for a schmoole to buy wife in america yeah just you gotta find a job and start collecting money for going to the country that you want to live in uh this is the toughest thing you might have to do if you're not rich because going to European countries requires a lot of money. I mean, not more than no money.

So that was the first method. Here's the second method. That was a good method, yeah. It's a method two of five, getting a girl. Whoa, seven steps. Yeah, seven steps to this method. This step is not much difficult if you have a smartphone and internet and you know how to use your phone. You must also be able to speak English in order to communicate to women of other countries. What?

Of other countries? Other than... All foreigners speak English. Everybody knows that. Haven't you ever seen a movie? Yep. I hired a... I hired an American to read this for me. He didn't read it

and he stole my money. Number two, choose the most popular dating sites of the country in which you want to go. You can find dating websites in specific countries by simply searching Google. You can also download dating apps from Play Store, which are worldwide popular. Number three, create your profile on dating apps or websites that you find most working. Upload best of your photos

on those websites. Do not upload the photos in which you look ugly. Let's see. I've got my ugly photo and my handsome photo. If you can't have me on my ugly photo,

you don't deserve me at my good-looking photo. Number four, pretend that you live in America or Europe. Wait, but... Don't tell people on that website. Don't tell people on that website that which country you are from. What country am I from in your assumption? America, obviously.

Yeah. Or Europe. Okay. Wink, wink. I am from Europe. Number five, contact the chicks that you like. You mean sexy American foxes, right? Contact the real American woman.

Contact the chicks that you like the most on that website. Text them your bulges. Yeah. Try to contact chicks who are new on those dating websites. Chat with them for a few hours. Get to know them. Don't ask them any personal questions. Just ask them a few simple questions.

Just be normal. For hours? So no personal questions. Remind me again how the weather is over there. How many colors can you name? This is a really important step. Number six. After getting to know them, ask

them for their Kick Messenger ID because Kick Messenger is one of the most popular in America and Europe. Oh, yeah, right behind ICQ. If they don't use Kik, then ask them for Skype or any other social messenger they use. Just call them a liar at that point! Don't ask them for Facebook or Twitter, because if you give them your Facebook or Twitter, then they will get to know where you are from.

Also, don't exchange your phone numbers at the moment. Just ask them for the messengers in which there is only your username shown and nothing else is shown. Okay. I mean, this doesn't really seem like a relationship at this point. It seems a lot more like sex tourism. What? Yeah. No, no, no.

We're only on the second method. Oh, God. Really? Jesus. That's a long window. Fuck! Number seven, chat with them and get them to like you. If you're handsome, then it will be very easy for you, because there is a deficiency of handsome men in Europe.

Wink. Ah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep. Yeah, try to be a romantic person and never tell them where you live currently. That is romantic. Alright, so that was the second method. How do I get her to like me? Oh, method four. Yeah, method four. Just getting her to like you. I want to get her to like me. Okay.

Just scrap those other options and do this. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, number one, uh, the only step of method four. Yep. Real world is very different from the chatting world, so you'll have to do the same things again in real life to get her to like you. And when you think it is the right time, just propose her, and she will say yes. Have lovely life with her.

She will. life with her. And finally, method five, never tell her about what you did. We swore we were going to keep a secret. He was dead! We all saw him die! This is its own method all by itself. So that was a lot of sort of do's to how to find a foreign wife from Europe or America. Are there any don'ts?

Yes, there are. Don't do anything against the laws or you might get punished. don't do anything against the laws or you might get punished that could be at the end of every single wiki how article I think I would rather have don't do any of the shit above that was

really super helpful man um i know how to uh do all of those things this is terrific that article has six co-authors uh so oh my god oh my god it took six people to write that there are so many articles that are so good so good okay I think I'm gonna do the one that I that I found for myself no no no no nevermind I'm gonna do the one that was

submitted anonymously and that article is, How to Cope with Relatives Who Make Fun of Your Geeky Ways During the Holidays. Boy. So, yeah, so,

How to Cope with Relatives Who Make Fun of Your Geeky Ways During the Holidays. By the way, I just want to thank everyone for submitting these. Anyway. While the holidays may be a nice time for families to come together, Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa provide a ripe breeding ground for torturing

the ones we love. If you're a little different or nerdy and often find yourself the butt of relatives' jokes, here are a few ways to deal with their insensitive insults that don't involve a pickaxe and a getaway plan to Mexico. Okay, so don't involve that.

All right. So step one, block out relatives who are rude or who tease mercilessly. Remember when you were little and you just cover your ears so you didn't have to listen to the annoying kid on the bus? Do the same, but now in a more subtle way. Act like you have no idea what they're saying. When the insult is hurled away, simply stare at the relative who is

throwing the verbal cocktail of bile and give them the awkward silence moment. They want you to react, so don't. And make them feel incredibly uncomfortable and small in the process by staring them down. Don't break the stare until they avert

their eyes. That way, you win. Other good ways to block their jibes include avoid being in front and center during gift exchanges. Also, be too busy on your smartphone or texting. So, at family events, if you don't want them to

think you're weird and make fun of you, get really weird. Okay, so that was step one. Step two, thank them for their rudeness. Let them know that it's rudeness and teasing like theirs that has taught you to deal with difficult personalities. And that skill, in turn, has enabled you to become the successful leader or team manager that you are. The number one, yeah, the manager of the number one rated GameStop in the whole Southwest. Tell them to stop smirking because in all likelihood, one day, very soon, you'll be their boss.

Cite such famous geeks as, never mind, I'm not going to read that shit. Ask them who their favorite movie and TV stars are. And then, yeah, that's all nerds too are claiming all that shit. It's like, fucking, like, it's just like gay claiming, but for nerds. Anyway, finish

off your list with a smug comment along the lines of just how far being a focused geek can take you, unlike the scatterbrained or conformist approach of your relative. Your uncle is already smoking cigars on the back porch by now. I know! He's smoked three so far because I have the one cigar burn in my arm, and I have the one cigar burn in my forehead.

Okay, step three, show them up. They might be a powerhouse of knowledge in their own field or expertise, be it fine-tuning a car or fine-tuning the stock market. What? What? Yeah. That's a job. You didn't know that?

Yeah, do that in the garage. My uncle's the Koch brothers are so good. Ask relatives a few questions you know they're too stupid to answer. When they can't answer them, make a comment like, and I really thought you were the smart one. Smile as you conquer them. Also, when discussing gifts, be exacting. Your cousin Fred might have received a digital camera he really wanted,

but he's been teasing you all afternoon. So when he proudly displays the camera and says it's 10 megapixels, interrupt and say it's 10.6 megapixels to be precise. And you hope that the giver bought an X-Star, X-Store, where it was $4.21 cheaper than another store. Then go into detail about how the camera was made, and point out that while some improvements were

instituted since the one before, point out how it's technically deficient or inadequate, and state emphatically that he would have been better off getting a different model. By this stage, Cousin Fred will want to throw the camera at you but has to politely put up with

your interesting background to his gift. Lemon, while you were reading this, I browsed away to how to be the most unlikable motherfucker at Easter and found the exact same text. I'm getting second-hand annoyed.

Okay, so step four Bring up the family dirt The quickest way to stop the hit parade Is to remind the family About the time Uncle Jim got so wasted On Christmas day that he stripped off his clothes And went streaking down the street Because that's a thing that happens for real people. Or the time your cousin Jennifer was busted

making out with a girl under the table. The family table, Jennifer. Boy, I tell you, Jenny just drops her napkin so often. And her mutual heterosexual friend seems to do the same. And then there are all the reminiscences about when your cousin Katie was a hippie and cousin Bob was a hipster and brother-in-law Bill, which is lowercase, so it's a Bill, was a greaser. What the? Wait, what the fuck?

Okay. So in this family, Katie was a hipster, Bob was a hipster, and Jennifer kissed girls under the table. Cross-generational family. Rummage around for the yearbook filled with 80s bouffant hairdos. Who's laughing now? And to really nail it, ask the relative who is prom queen or athlete of the yearbook filled with 80s bouffant hairdos. Who's laughing now? And to really nail it, ask the relative who is prom queen or athlete of the year if their employer has found their titles

really useful in hiring them. Ask innocently to have maximum impact, such as such as So, did you ever get asked if you were the prom queen in a job interview? I'm doing some research in best interview tactics.

Step five, die alone on Christmas Eve, homeless and frozen. It's a great strategy. It's like Uncle Bob won't stop teasing me about my veganism. I might as well bring up the fact that Janice had an abortion. teasing me about my veganism, I might as well bring up the fact that Janice had an abortion. I'm going to make Thanksgiving... Yeah, you're goddamn right I like Battlestar Galactica the same way you love crystal meth, you junkie whore.

I'm going to make Thanksgiving better. Make stuff up about yourself. If you're a little dirty. Well, that's what everybody's doing anyway. Oh, yes, the job's going well, of course, and the house is in great shape. No, we're getting along very well. Oh, yes, terrific. I mean, we're doing a lot of great things together.

Yeah, she doesn't bore me. For example, tell people that you've been commissioned by the President of the United States to work on a top-secret formula which will most likely cure stupidity. Or tell everyone you're with the CIA, and unfortunately there's a hit out for someone in this room but you can't reveal who's the intended target. Spend the rest of the day

talking to your secret earpiece. Oh. I'm not gonna read step six. I mean my fleshlight that has an ear on it. I got it for $4.21 cheaper because I went to the right store.

I'm not going to read all of number six, but here's the title of it. Start being really annoying. Wait, what were steps one through five? That was just kind of annoying. It's going to get more annoying if you were literally Mr. Bean. One of the bullet points in there is lick people's faces.

Come on. And then another one is speak in Klingon or Navi. Arrive at Christmas dinner dressed as your favorite superhero? Why do I have such trouble fitting in with my family? Is this a how-to guide for F plus Life 4?

Okay, so I got some tips. Remember that when you're rich and famous, you will be the one calling the shots. Also, remember to always be creative when it comes to coping with rude relatives and their comments. After all, they're only jealous that you are smarter and cooler. They're SPs. You're on your way to becoming an OT3. Oh, okay. Don't irreparably damage anyone's property during your retaliation extravaganza. I don't remember talking about that, but yeah, you're going to have a retaliation extravaganza.

Don't damage anyone's property. But you can temporarily hide people's trophies. So do that. And then finally seek professional help. I had to deal with someone who was being really annoying at your intervention. You're just jealous of all the drugs I did! Alright, I think we got one more that we should probably close out on. And that one, hmm.

I think that one's probably up to you, Victor. Ooh. So which of the following things would you like to teach us how to do? Would you like to make a cyball? Or would you like to make a plaster cast of a lady's derriere? I only know what one of those is. Pick the derriere. Pick the derriere.

It's not a choice, Victor. I'm going to go with the derriere. Pick the derriere. Yeah. It's not a choice, Victor. I'm going to go with the derriere. Sorry about that, Ford the Love.

All right. How to make a plaster cast of a lady's derriere. This one was suggested by Digital Walnut.

All right. How to make a plaster cast of a lady's derriere. Yes, some women have derrieres that cry out to be sculpted in marble and exhibited in the Louvre. Unfortunately, though, that isn't always possible.

It's only sometimes possible. Even with 3D printers? Louvre? Okay. What follows is a practical and economical alternative. Instead of marble, the final product is plaster. Instead of the, the final product is plaster. Instead of the loo, the resulting sculpture might be displayed on the wall of a workshop or hunting cabin,

on the door of the refrigerator, or on the tailgate of a pickup truck. Oh, we know all about those trucks. Or, ladies, think of the romantic surprise you'll spring on your man if, on his way to work some morning, he suddenly notices an autographed full-sized replica of your fanny in the passenger seat. He will recognize it, right? Lucy!

You have some splaters to do! Now I can drive in the carpool lane! There literally is my wife's ass in the carpool lane. There literally is my wife's ass in the driveway. Now, speaking to the ladies, abandon any notion that you can do this yourself. Your job is to provide the butt.

Someone else needs to perform the procedure. If you want to surprise your man with the end product, the best approach will probably be to ask one of your girlfriends to help you. One of your girlfriends and a VHS tape recorder. Of course, you can also have your man do it, which spoils any element of surprise, but which may produce other welcome side benefits. Like what?

Like just a bunch of like oil and grease all over my butt, and then like I gotta it'll take like days to try to get all that shit off me? You're learning a craft together. Conversely, speaking to the men, don't even consider having this done to you.

But if you want to do it to your woman, you may find that there's an artistic side of you that you never even knew about. Who knows? You may even decide to take up this activity as a regular hobby. So, Bob, what do you do for fun? Again, well, this is the 17th time we've done this, honey. I know I have to get it right! Step one.

Identify a location where the lady can comfortably lie down bottom up. A bed is not... On this deck! A bed is not ideal because it flexes too much. A carpeted floor is better, or a kitchen counter covered with a throw rug. Or, you know, a cellar.

A coffin. A coffin. A coffin. Dungeon. You can improvise by using a pair of sawhorses and a few planks topped with a throw rug. Oh my god! Oh no!

Oh yes! Oh boy. Somebody's got to go to a room that has carpet in it or something. Because this guy has spent too much time in his hunting lodges and workshops. The very best spots are beaches and lawns because you do not need to worry about making a mess. But stay away from putting greens on golf courses. Golfers won't appreciate it. Okay.

All right. Now we know who we're dealing with. Wow. Step two. Turn on some music, give the lady an alcoholic drink, and assemble the materials. Uh. Yeah. Yeah.

Your lady will accept alcoholic drinks from you. Absolutely. Have this while I get my things. No. The drink is important. You will be dissatisfied with the results if the woman's gluteus maximus muscles are tense when you start. Loosen your ass!

We need to have a drink so the lady can go to sleep. Oh. Oh. Put the plaster on the lady's behind. Step three. Have the lady get completely naked.

Plastering procedure may get messy and you do not want to ruin clothing. So might you. Have the lady lie face down and get comfortable with her drink within reach. Tell her to part her legs. If any hair longer than a quarter inch is visible in the sculpting area, you should shave it off as a precaution. Now I'm thinking about wet plaster on freshly shaved skin. Well, the one thing you do not want to have happen is to get any of her body hair embedded in plaster. I think there's a lot of things you don't want to have happen.

Just one. I think there's a lot of things the lady doesn't want to have happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Step five, smear petroleum jelly over the entire region between the small of her back and upper thighs. Or, you know, anything that helps her breathe. Do a particularly good job on her goodies. You do not want the plaster to cause a skin irritation.

As an extra precaution against skin irritation or getting body hair stuck in plaster, press a strip of plastic wrap into her butt crack and wrap it down over her labial region. Step seven, reposition her legs in the pose you want to cast. Move it! Move the legs over! Move them! Your butt looked nicer for me tape crumpled aluminum foil to her body to outline the region we're going to sculpt this will contain the wet plaster mix two pounds of plaster and apply it work fast

press strips of die wall drywall gauze into the wet plaster, crisscross fashion, then more plaster, then more gauze, until you run out of plaster. Instruct the lady not to wiggle her butt. Don't move your butt! Don't move that perfect butt! You wouldn't know how! It's hot! At this point, the basic mold is done, but you still need to strengthen it, so mix another three pounds of plaster and apply it, again pressing strips of gauze into it in crisscross fashion. When you have done this properly, her butt crack will no longer show from the outside, and the

top side of the cast will be reasonably flat. She'll be the perfect woman without a butt crack! Wait at least 15 minutes. Have some meaningful conversation during this period. So, why did you do it? What's your name?

So how do you like living in Europe? Or America. Gently lift off the solid cast, flip it over, and let it set for a few hours. Next step, put the lady in a shower, soap her up, and scrub her off. Next, step 14,

procedure for the final casts. At this point, you have a negative cast of her butt. This is your template for making a positive cast, or multiple positive casts. You can now make dozens of identical derriere sculptures. Multiple positive casts.

You can now make dozens of identical derriere sculptures. I never fuck the same ass twice! Carefully inspect the inside of the cast for imperfections. Inspect the woman for imperfections. If there are any large holes or cracks, you need to fill them

with wet plaster. I got one big crack. Applied with your finger. Oh, dear. Jesus. Lightly sandpaper the inside of the cast. There will be a ridge running down the middle, which is actually a negative of the lady's butt crack. Oh.

This will probably be a bit ragged on top. Uh. Hmm. ragged on top. At no point does it explain why we're making a plastic cast of somebody's butt. Alright. No, no, we're getting there. Because now we're going to smear the inside

of the entire inside with a generous application of petroleum jelly. With the index and middle fingers. Yeah, yes. You've got to be generous. That image, just,

like, if I were looking at it on its own. Yeah, exactly. Alright, I'll just tweet this, no problem. And there you have it, the perfect Derriere sculpture. I leave it to you to think of creative ways to display it. What?

It's in the carpool lane. Why? Why are you doing this? Hey, hey guys! Hey guys! What? Yes, what? Yes, what is it?

Yes, come on. Yes, hello? How do you clean yourself? Soap, water. Jesus soap. I thought that was like Israeli. I thought that was Jewish soap. Oh, I don't know.

I don't read that bottle of soap. Yeah. I get in the shower and cut a bar of soap in half with a knife. If you had to make the difficult choice to not use an enema. Oh, well, then I wouldn't bother. Wiki How is here to help. Oh, what? Good.

How to clean yourself without an enema. But that's so hard. That's kind of like how to pour yourself a glass of water without giving yourself an enema. Yeah, I don't know. Feel the need to clean yourself out but don't have an enema? Shit, I'm all out of it. Yeah, I mean, I am.

I don't have any right now,, I'm all out of... I don't have any right now. I'm all out. Well, if you have a bathtub with jets, you're in luck! I mean, in more ways than one, I'd say. Number one, fill your bathtub with water. You'll need a bathtub with jets or anything

that it can apply. Quick, narrow forces of water. Most likely, your shower will not work. Number two, turn on the jets. Number three, place the anus so that the jet is shooting at you. Wait a minute! How will I know? You will be able to feel it.

Hey, Kumquat. I know. You will be able to feel it. Hey, Kumquat. Just as a coincidence, I happen to be reading the Wikihow article called How to Get Shit in Your Hot Tub. And it's got the exact same text as this. No! No, Moe!

I didn't give myself an enema this time! Oh, I was reading How to Give Yourself a Yeast Infection. Number four. Stay like that for a few minutes. Try to relax. Number five. Stand up out of the water. It will take

a few minutes for you to feel the water inside you. It will make your bowels feel full. Okay, you've given yourself an enema. You realize that, right? No. Number six, relieve yourself. Number seven.

Image number six has a photo, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Number seven, if warranted, repeat. If listening to warrant at the time, repeat. It's Friday night. If listening to Warrant at the time. Repeat. This is a too bad video. It's Friday night. Time to give myself an enema and listen to Warrant. She's my cherry pie.

I'm a breeze. Make a sweet, sweet pie. I mainly made that joke because I was wondering if anybody knew any other Warrant songs besides Cherry Pie. No. No, of course not. I don't think there is another one. Well, Jack Chick does. I mainly made that joke because I was wondering if anybody knew any other Warrant songs besides Jerry Pye. No. No, of course not. I don't think there is another one. Well, Jack Chick does.

Jack Chick knows other Warrant songs. All right. Now time to get to the part of the episode, my favorite part of a Wicked Cow episode, and that's the reading of the titles. Once again, we sourced this out to everyone who wanted it, so thank you to way more people than I could list. But a whole lot of titles to be read. Boots, start us off, please. Oh, boy.

How to develop emotional intelligence. How to be sassy. How to not care. How to control mood swings. How to be emotionless. How to be elusive. How to not talk in any situation. How to cry in a public bathroom.

I don't know, turn 25. This whole elusive thing is going really well for me. How to be antisocial. How to be the kid that everyone wonders about. How to be antisocial. How to be the kid that everyone wonders about. How to be talented. How to get cute and kawaii hair.

How to make people think you were smart. How to be smart and cool at the same time. The same time? Yeah, I know. Man, I just got smart. I was happy with that. That'll really fuck up Uncle Joe at Thanksgiving.

It's like, I like this guy, but I learned something from him. How to achieve your full potential. How to get more followers on Twitter. How to become a dictator. How to deal with being in jail. Adam, what do you have? How to make goldfish more interesting. Do something!

Read a book! How to hug a guy. Come on, hug a guy! Come on, hug a guy. Come on, hug a guy. Come on, hug a guy. How to kiss and cuddle with your boyfriend. How to break up with your significant other when you're actually dating someone else. I mean, that kind of sorted itself out, really. How to use Grindr.

How to use Grindr. Now, this guy says he wants to slam his big dick into my tight young ass. What exactly does that mean? I don't know. I'm not good with phones. How to survive Christmas Eve and morning. For kids. Survive? That sounds dire.

How to defend yourself in court. Excuse me, I think I've got this, thanks. You're looking at him, Your Honor. How to write an interesting Legend of Zelda and Powerpuff Girls crossover. Interesting, you say. All right. How to appreciate Sonic the Hedgehog as an older teen. Okay, that's not the article that the world needs. The world needs the other one.

How to stop appreciating Sonic the Hedgehog. God damn it, and get the fuck over it. Just get over Sonic the Hedgehog. Stop appreciating Sonic the Hedgehog. But he's an hedgehog that runs fast. Yeah, you don't need to appreciate Knuckles the Echidna either. And his arms are blue, damn it. You're just jealous because you can't appreciate Sonic on the level that we do.

are blue, dammit. You're just jealous because you can't appreciate Sonic on the level that we do. Lemon, you're obviously not blessed enough to understand the wonderful Japanese culture that gave us Sonic the Hedgehog. Shut up, you're ruining Thanksgiving.

Ooh, the dice man. How to play tic-tac-toe. How to play cy-ball,ac-toe. How to play cyball, paintball. Wait, what? How to play paintball with your mind? With your mind balls. Okay.

How to administer a coffee enema. How to receive a coffee enema. How to avoid laughing at obese girls. How to be a techno pagan. That's one of the later KMFDM albums, right? Skinny puppy, but you got it.

How to bite your lip seductively. How to be inspired by clouds. How to become a full-fledged curmudgeon. The order of the curmudgeon. Yes. Level up. Kumquat's up. What do you got?

How to multitask. How to avoid multitasking. How to do both at once. How to live. How to survive in a world with no upcoming Harry Potter books. How to get over a Harry Potter obsession. How to avoid getting into an argument over Harry Potter. How to make people at school think you're a wizard like

Harry Potter, how to be a Gryffindor, how to make a Harry Potter broom, how to make a Harry Potter room, how to do Tai Chi, Harry Potter! Tai Chi, Harry Potter. Oh, my goodness. I need more chin.

I need more Harry Potter. What else do you have? How to resist wearing nail polish How to dress undead How to do black magic How to be a Christian goth How to become pope How to get a little healthier while staying just as lazy How to stop belching

How to mash bananas How to lose five pounds in five weeks How to lose five pounds in five weeks. How to lose five pounds in a day. How to deworm yourself. How to gain weight. How to vomit while driving. How to defecate. How to defecate in a cup.

How to poop while standing up in a toilet. I think you just broke me. Guess what, Victor? You get to follow that now. Oh, Lord. Good luck, asshole. All right. I'm sure I've got something way better than that.

How to eat a corn dog. Yeah! Good job, Victor! Ding, ding, ding! MVP! MVP! How to grow garlic in Florida. How to be a grammar Nazi without annoying people.

How to juggle a girlfriend in video gaming. Impossible. That's not going to be a grammar Nazi without annoying people. How to juggle a girlfriend in video gaming. Impossible. That's not going to be a problem. Drop the girlfriend ball. How to eat a cake while looking feminine. If all the birthday parties I've ever been to are any indication, you don't need any help. How to eat hot wings with grace. How to forget a creepypasta.

How to make a fake dolphin habitat for a rubber dolphin. What? What? What? Why? How to be zen about getting bad grades in college. How to be friends with everyone.

How to speak in a British accent. How to eat roadkill. How to be friends with everyone. How to speak in a British accent. How to eat roadkill. How to teach your dog to surf. How to hide your period from your parents. How to talk to your parents. How to feel comfortable talking about sex with your mom. How to tell your mom

you're attracted to animals. Checkmate, kumquat. How to get your mom to stop blogging about your life. Mysonthedogfucker.tumblr.com How to avoid talking to your parents. How to bri to your parents. How to bribe your parents. All right.

Yeah, Lemon, what do you have? Let's see. Well, I have how to pet a cat and then how to be nice to your cat. How to sneak your cat into work. How to dress up your cat. Like somebody your cat, how to crochet a cat hat, how to make a snail costume for your cat, how to make Halloween wings for your cat, how to make a harness for your fat cat. Was Montreux supposed to be in this episode? Yeah, these are all for Montreux. How to make Nerf wars with fat cat. Was Montreth supposed to be in this episode? Yeah, these are all for Montreth.

How to make Nerf wars with a cat. How to tell if your cat sees a ghost. How to throw a cat party. How to bring out your cat's inner gamer on the iPad. How to have cats without being a cat lady. How to act like a werecat.

Ah, yeah. How to be a better furry. How to become the most successful furry on MySpace. Or were B-Boy 360. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then semi-related, somewhat related, how to discourage sexual attention.

How to deal with odd sexual requests. How to become a loner. How to become a polygamist. How to defend traditional marriage. How to sneak around in the suburbs. I think a Chevrolet celebrity is good enough. Wow. So, F+, what did we learn from our glorious time back on WikiHow?

We learned how to flirt with a boy. Now, how do you spell flirt? Like it sounds. I learned how to flirt with a boy. Now, how do you spell flirt? Like it sounds. There's definitely a lot of people giving free advice, but to no real benefit. I don't feel like they were really saying what the benefits of anything were.

It was just like, well, of course you want to do this. You want to make a plaster cast of a lady's derriere. Yeah, let's skip all the flim-flam about why we're doing it and just tell you how to do it. Sorry, that's our next week's episode. That's called wikiwide.com. Why would anyone do this? The answer is always boners. The answer is always boners. Yeah, it's a strange mix because it's very, very teenage.

Oh, yeah. I mean, even the drawing styles really appeal to teenagers a lot. So that's pretty prevalent. But there's also a lot of gross dudes. Yeah, I feel like they have to do more work to hide themselves now like when we first did a wikiHow episode like hitting the

random button like every other click was something fucking insane and now I feel like that random button is linked exclusively to featured articles yeah because it took a lot of weird mining to random button is linked exclusively to featured articles. Because it took a lot of weird mining to get at the

craziness. It's still there, but it's sort of hidden under a varnish. You just have to find a keyword and just do searches for keywords. It's amazing. I don't think it's

hidden. I mean, if anything, the varnish is just making it shinier and more polished. The fact that Courtesy P went from a bunch of creepy

drawings to a highly illustrated, very specific... There are like 40 drawings in that article. Yes. And like, you know,

like, pelvis know, like, pelvis with red arrow going forward. Yeah. Yeah, this, it's always fun to do. You know, it's one of those in this podcast, I tend to shy away from revisiting topics to some extent

because I just don't want to repeat ourselves. I don't want to do the same thing over and over again. That wouldn't be interesting to me. But Wikipedia, or I'm sorry, Wikihow is so deep and so dumb that every single time we find new levels of dumb. So thanks a lot for listening to the website, thefbl.us and hey, if my

Google Analytics are any indication, you haven't been playing the wrongest words enough, so fucking fix that. Bye. Love it. I don't know what you kind of mean but I love you just the same