The F Plus - 18: Cut My Life Into Pieces, This Is My Last Resort

Episode Date: February 28, 2010

This episode, we take a brief but ever-insightful dip into the minds of teenagers. From rants about how parents don't understand, to indecipherable poetry about blood, to the simple impotent rage so timeless to the age group, we're about to get angsty all up in this bitch.

Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys!

Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys!

Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys!

Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Parys! Like a tool, they take me far, far Hey! Why won't they shut up? Hey! They're so fucked up Oh, they're so fucked up Hey there, welcome to the S Plus Podcast where we're still trying to figure out what paint to use on the nipples. My name's Lemon. And I'm John.

And today we want to talk about what is, I guess you would call it the backbone of the Internet. I mean, obviously, you know, the Internet is something that usually sort of came out of the, you know, universities of California in the 70s and went from there. But the popularity of the Internet, the actual usage, the per bit usage, that's teenagers. Teenagers are the backbone of the internet. Yeah, and you know, I mean, think about it. You've got the internet and it's got all these places to just rant and rave and write on and have your own

space to say these things. And who else would want to just go on and on about the most boring things like they're the most important parts of life than teenagers? Right. Like, I'm a 29-year-old man, and if I were to go to YouTube and there was some video of some idiot talking about how Soulja Boy is great, it would not occur to me to respond to that video.

However – And, you know, I'm 24 years years old and the thing is i have a shitty day you know maybe my car doesn't start to get a flat tire ah shit well this happens and that happens and i've just had a shitty day well you know what i do i go to bed i'm like oh man this day was shitty hope next day is better but if i'm a teenager i go on the internet and write 500 words about my life is over and i'm going to cut myself right now because my parents are shit and you know that goes on for forever

and you know it's a more uplifting of our podcast I mean coming off of the completely soul crushing fucked all episode I mean that's something where you know it's not like and by the way there are valentines now on the website which have pictures of the, um, fucked all owners.

But what I was going to say is that, um, you know, the actual people in, in a lot of our subjects, like sometimes these are just people that are interminably and irrevocably broken. But with the, with the, you know, with the teen angst, um, you know, you might be a prick now, but you might not be a prick later. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, as a side note, it kind of shows kind of the material we get when angsty suicidal teenagers is a step up. But anyway. But yeah, I mean, they're teenagers.

And when everybody, aside from like maybe that 2% that was normal in high school what the hell was with you you know for the most part every teenager is fucked up in the head and they're gonna be fucked up in the head for a couple years so you know get it all out but that doesn't mean what they write when they are fucked up in the head isn't freaking hilarious I bet that 2% that was normal

in high school ends up being that 2% that's also the like you know key enthusiasts and the fucked enthusiast and the fuck doll owners and shit later on. Yeah, I got some. Or like, yeah, that's the whole act and they never stop doing that act and then they drown their

kids or something. Feel our nerd rage. Alright, let's get to our readers. This is the Teen Angst episode and we hope you're going to enjoy it. In fact, we think you will. Turn that frowny face into a happy face. Let's go.

In the room tonight, we have Ace Rockwaddle. Don't angry or yelling or any negative thing from this podcast. That's so low. Boots Reingear. My mood is suicide. Bump Girl. Oh, my God. I just don't know anymore. Oh my god, I just don't know anymore.

Oh my god. I don't know. Bunny bread. Hello, smelly ladies. How you doing? John. My dick does not, in fact, have a nose. Jack chick.

You can call me Sonic. Come, Quats up. My parents think I'm a whore. Squiddy Wiganwe. I'm far away. Stog. My dick smells. Fuck you, Dad. stog my dick smells fuck you dad

and lemon wondering why you don't understand I'm a boy and I'm toy I will kill it I'm toy I'm a boy and I'll destroy I will kill it, I'll destroy I'm a boy and I'll destroy I will kill it, I will destroy Parents, parents, parents, parents Rant against parents.

This is my rant against the parents of teenagers. If you're ready, read on. Oh, I'm ready. Let's go home. Warning. Prepare yourself for an all-out, no-holds-barred rant without any pause to regain dignity and honor. Regain?

What? Regain? Regains the incorrect word there. You'll buy the whole razor, but you'll only need the edge. Wow, I nearly jet-washed the monitor. This may take a while. If anything offends you, or offends or insults you, good.

That's what it's supposed to do. If you think you have the balls, read on. Oh, boy. Well, hello again, all of my enraptured followers. Yes, it is I, known only to you as Ex-Zonen. Ex-Zonen Ex-Zonen I think I gotta get that glottal stop in there Here once again

To turn your world upside down And play dodgeball with that thing You call your brain Ready? Of course not, but here we go So we've got one more Foreplay, but no actual text I'm not ready, wait!

I hope there's no actual article and it's just a whole, uh, preamble. Are you ready for this terrible thing I'm going to write? But no, I'm gonna write this awful thing and it's gonna be great! Are you ready yet? So this is the thing I'm gonna write! Please subscribe! 100 positive comments and I'll write part 2. For those of you who did not read my first rant,

you stupid, pathetic losers who will burn in hell, I basically destroyed most of the beliefs you established to live your life upon. Wasn't that fun? That explains the terrible void in my life. Oh, I mean for me, of course. Well, don't worry.

The next rant I did concerned the entirety of humanity, so you aren't alone. There are other stupid pathetic losers around you. Well... I feel shown. He's shown me already. Man, I was depressed and then I read that.

This new rant is about teens. Specifically, the parents of teens. So it's not about teens at all. Ah, screw it. Anyone ever thinking about being the parent of a teen should read this. And don't worry.

All you adults with busy schedules, it's a short one. So, get ready to get pwned, new bays. Oh, man. What? What? That was actually, used to be the beginning of the preamble to the Constitution.

20 years ago, you prepared to get poned, noobies. That's clearly the Declaration of Independence. I think the correct pronunciation is... Actually, that was the Gettysburg Address, but anyways. I think the correct pronunciation of that is noobs. I like noobies better. It sounds exotic.

I thought noobs were supposed to be with two O's or two zeros. Hey, c'est toi, là. zeros You're my noobette goddess Alright Parents suck Well alright then We all remember our parents And no matter what you or anyone else thinks, their parents sucked too. They just can't remember

or are too stupid to notice. For the really unlucky people out there whose parents beat or abused them, this ain't for you. Those parents don't suck. They don't. Yeah, apparently not. Oh, okay.

If you're reading this, tell someone because it's wrong. Public service announcement. Hey, guys. Guys, I've read this article. I'm telling you. It's wrong. Now, back to what I was saying. Parents seem to only care about grades.

They could care less about you or your personality. They just want you to succeed. Where they failed. Oh no. That's horrifying. They don't care about you. They just want you to succeed. Oh no.

They want you to get good grades. Go to get good grades, go to a good college, get a good job and lots of money, and then give them some. What assholes. Those leeches. While some of you may think this isn't so bad,

a plan shut up! Parents don't care about you, they just want you to make them look good and give them money. They could care less about what you want or like, and if they care about what you do or your friends, is only so that you don't embarrass them. Child rearing is a financial

scam. They look for any opportunity they can get to make you feel bad because they think it'll encourage you. What? What? What? Yeah, you read it.

Please. I believe you're getting pwned, noobs. I tried to comprehend that statement, but my mind was already blown. There was nowhere for it to go. Then, they say that they're there for you when you need them, and that they're your friend. You've got to be kidding me! When you really need them, they don't care. Seems like the only way teens can get their parents' attention anymore is to commit suicide or a crime! Note, I don't encourage that.

You offer problems but no solutions! After a suicide, the parents cry and say things like, why didn't he tell me? Or I never could have guessed. Well, guess what? We do try to tell you,

and you should have guessed. If parents do their best to tell their kids' friends, they would be able to see things before the kid says anything. But do they try? No. Sure, they do bonding with their kids, but I think we all know how that

ends up. With a lot of ejaculations and relaxation, I tell you. I mean, wait, never mind. Either it's the family watching a movie or playing a board game or going to a symphony or museum. None of us are getting any good at learning about their kids. What? What?

Hey, we're teens. We don't like monopoly anymore oh my god good movie is full of blood gore and sex. I love blood gore, and I have an inconvenient truth about it. Gore is going to rain from the skies. Blood gore takes his mother to the doctor, part two.

And what we consider art or music you consider horrible or noise live with it we don't care about your childhood your music is made of horrible we don't care about your childhood. It apparently was completely different than ours.

Wow. Shut up about World War II, Grandpa. We don't care about your ideas. We want to do what we want. We want to know who we are. Don't just yell at us for everything. You want to know why the teen suicide rate and the depression rate are rising? You're causing it.

So stop causing it. Stop killing children. The depression rate. You guys should understand us. Also, we have no compulsion to understand you. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 10 points when the Depression Index went down. It's called the Pitchfork 500.

You don't care about who your kids really are, and they try to get your attention whatever way possible. Don't send us to programs to try to help us. You're the people who need help. So stop being such a stuck-up, condescending person and get to know who your kids really are.

If you don't want you kids to kill themselves, don't send them to programs or doctors, just get to know you friggin' kids. That's... That's seasoned advice. That's seasoned advice But for the love of god Do not play Monopoly with them

Don't send it to the Monopoly doctor Only if the Monopoly is the Blood Gore edition Stop being such a stuck up condescending person Because then you'll have a kid like me Is it so hard For you to take some time To find out who your kid is can you make some time for your own frigging kids out of your busy work schedule stop telling us what to do stop trying to control our lives stop hide behind the bonding illusions and get to know who we are. Really get to know us. Know our likes,

dislikes, friends, enemies, and everything we think is important. Love of long rambling lists. Get it yet? Good. Tune in next week when I rant on schools.

Yay! I don't want to wait until next week. Oh, hang on. Copyright 2007 ex-Zonin. U.N. Rummigan at writing.com. All rights reserved. Ex-Zonin has granted writing. Got common affiliates and syndicates. Not exclusive rights to display his work. Non-exclusive rights?

Non-exclusive rights. So, yeah, the reason why your parents don't want to get to know you is because you're a cunt, and they just don't want to get to know you is because you're a cunt and they just don't want to They're just in denial about that So honey is there anything wrong? No there is nothing wrong

I don't want to talk It's like the dad pops in and it's like Hey son your grades have been kind of falling we want you to get those back up Also we were wondering did you want to play Monopoly or watch a movie tonight? And then, oh, the internet is going to hear about this. There's no blood gore. If your teenage child has clinical depression, don't send him to counseling because that will make him commit suicide.

Just take his advice on how to take care of that. So, son, what are your likes? Nothing. What are your dislikes? Everything. Everything. Everything. I didn't say a word to you. I guess I'll just hang out. I'll run it down. Living by my intuition.

Subject, my parents hate me. My parents hate me. My parents think I'm a whore. Because I am goth punk. They think I'm going to get raped because I'm going to attract the wrong guys. They don't love me the way I am. And when I ask them why they don't, they're like, you don't know who you are. And I'm like, yes, I do.

I'm just not the person you want me to be. I feel like shit whenever I'm home. I'm very depressed right now. My dad actually told me the other day, why can't you dress more prep? Shut up, Dad! You don't understand. But he's using the lingo in everything. He said that just to piss her off on purpose.

Why don't you dress more like those models in Abercrombie & Fitch? I was so mad at him. I hate not being loved for the person I truly am. They think I'm going to have a bad experience with guys. That's a joke, because I'm 17 and never had a boyfriend. I'm just really upset right now and was wondering if anyone had any helpful advice. Okay. They don't hate you.

They just don't understand. Just like an upset parent with their son's possessive homosexual, no puns, indeed, just an example, maybe not a good one. They love you. Don't take it personal. Make it as a joke. Say it like this. Oh, gee, Dad, why don't you dress more like

Goth? Oh, how awesome that would be! Goth Dad! Uri only 17. Uri gonna be semi-adult soon. Just bear with their craps. But yeah, I am rambling out my ass. I'm done. Bear with their craps. But yeah, I am rambling out my ass.

I'm done. Bear with my craps, baby. I can say with experience that one should never play craps with bears. Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, this is Dark Winged. My family act like bitch over my emo or punk clothes. They always act like Jesus religion to rub in my face. Fact.

Most of these clothes is actually made from Germany. A lot of people think it was from devil. What? Because I just heard. What? Because I just heard. From Germany, they affect to movie that vampire Dracula, Frankenstein, werewolf, and anything on

television was black and white. There is no color at times, so they created new black clothes. Goff! What? What the hell? What the fuck are you talking about? No, see, Citrus, it's from Germany. You wouldn't understand.

I think it was about 70s or 80s. But wore the goth clothes wasn't make ya whore. It is who as normal, just herself in goth clothes. If her parent act like shit over who, stand up right in front of them. Okay, type in Google. Google. Oh, yeah. Girl, I went through as U did. I fight for my own right. I kick their ass for disrespect me. My father, oh my god, he is crybaby like bullshit.

What the hell? I fight with him in hard as rumble Yeah Me too He always talking about my clothes And me in everything I finally stand him up And beating him with pan from kitchen Maybe U can take Tupan

to beat him up. Maybe U can. This is not my fault. They the one who's starting. Wow! Wow! This is not my fault. They the one who's starting. Wow. Wow. Holy shit. My parents were the same way.

My dad still has his pickiness, but of course, I remind him illegally an adult now. But before I was, I sat down with my mom because she thought I wanted more attention because of the divorce. And now I had to share my dad with more than just her I explained to her that if that was the case I would have started this when they had got divorced six years earlier but I had found what I had truly liked and was who I was and that I was tired of working so hard to fit in with a bunch of backstabbers but I had the best friends in the world too which are now like my sisters and the only people I trust, she told me, she just thought I wouldn't be happy if I wasn't popular.

And then later we sat down with my dad and had the same talk. My mom also explained that it wasn't like I was going out of myself and making new stats of myself. And to think of all the things I had done at my age that I wasn't doing. So they both finally accepted me. Maybe that will work with yours, maybe not, but if not, you're almost 18 unless your parents really want to lose you forever.

They had better get over themselves soon. There's no period. That's continuing somewhere else. First, goth, not punk. Second, looks like you come from some poor stock. What you have to realize

is... Yeah. What you have to realize is that you are doing what you like, and it seems like you can make good personal decisions. Your parents may not like you how you are, but what matters

is that you like how you are. Plus, I suggest taking the good over the bad. They haven't disowned or thrown you out. They still feed you. I'm sure you have friends, so not all is lost. What the fuck, man? Like, Jesus Christ. I love that it's just like this

Flat out insult You have terrible genes You're a whore, keep on doing what you're doing And now the final response from Vampire Girl Wow wow wow Is this ever old lol I've totally gotten over all that BS And I've changed into the person I always wanted to be.

Thank God. I grew up a hell of a lot. Being 18 or 17 or anything had nothing to do with it. It was my mindset and my stupidity and immaturity, so I guess it did have something to do with it. Lol. Well, it's good now, and I personally think this thread has lost its meaning and could happily be happily deleted smiley face p.s i beat my father with two frying pans that's nice that's nice to have closure it really is vampire girl Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage. Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage. Someone will say what is lost can never be saved.

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage. My mom is such a total bitch. I can't believe what she did. I was playing FFA 09 for my PS3, and I was in an intense match with Manchester United against Barcelona. Those are the only two teams you can actually win with, but that's another story. Anyway, it's 3-3 going into the 87th minute and my mother starts bitching

about how I have to mow the lawn right now. Not in 5 minutes or 10 minutes, but right now. Apparently, I had been putting it off for a few weeks and it was getting long. She bitches so much that I actually have to leave mid-game and take a loss oh no

and to top it all off she burnt the pizza today and only gave me 20 for mowing lawn when i usually get 40 i can't wait for university i can't wait for university to start again, so I have an excuse to not have to be your slave. Cliffs. Playing in FFA.

Mom bitches about mowing the lawn. Lose game, get paid half. I usually do poorly cooked food. Oh, no. Signature. Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. Gandhi. I don't think Mahatma Gandhi said that.

I think he might be confusing Dr. Mahatma Gandhi. No no he did. It was in his gangster book. Dude it's Jimmy Gandhi. He gets me my dime bag. Actually I gotta say the responses have really made the thread worthwhile, even if they're not worth reading.

No, that post is just fucking... That's ridiculous. Wow. Mom is such a bitch, man. She burnt the pizza. But at least you did not get a blowjob from a dude. I was wondering, is that a standard

to run these posts? I always get that one but he's still, he's like this and he's in freaking college he does not grow out of this care for a blowjob maybe she

hates you for getting a blowjob from a dude my weakness I figured it out. Why I feel so sad when I watch movies and anime where people lost people they love or care about. Six years ago, my brother

was murdered in cold blood. It hurt so bad, I didn't release it, but it hard. A bigger effect on me than I thought. I no longer get close to people fopper that reason alone for your being hurt yet again. I've blockaded myself from everything and distanced myself from all my free ends and family. It hurts watching shows and anime and such lost people.

It kills me. I just thought I would write this so I would never forget my weakness. Just in case you forgot the close family. Wait, wait, wait. You're not finished. Mood.

Yo, let's have a sexy party. Yeah! Just as long as nobody dies during it. I can't watch anime about parties anymore. I'm feeling lost. After that paragraph, you know, I am feeling bad for you. Let's have a sexy party.

Sympathy sexy party! I'd like to point out that the forum he is most active in is fantasy roleplay. I love fantasy roleplay. So I guess he started this exchange cumulative forum story that each person adds a

paragraph or something. And I would like to read a full Metal Wars entry. I go over and sniff the new person that is now a cat. What?

Why did you do that? Then I lift my leg and peed on her. I've been sat back down. I have a feeling that we are going to be traveling together. This puppet master has brought six of us here for some reason. Have you heard the name before? I look up and sniff the air.

I say we travel south. The smell of death is coming from the north. I stretched out and start heading south. I look back. You might want to come with. I have a feeling we'll be eight alive if we part ways. I wag my tail as I continue to walk south. Wow. Well, now that I've peed all over you, come with me.

You smell like me. Let's go. Now we're friends for life. me let's go so i think i just want to jump into this. Mood of Death Kiss. Mood not sane. Gender female. Birthday 1991. Who cares about the date? Rank is fledgling.

This is the poem titled Crazy House. My body is still when hearing screams at night. My eyes are wide open. Open with such fright. My heart stops beating while my mind's still breathing. I look at the mouse. He says to me, You're crazy. This

is the crazy house. I lay in the darkness. It comforts me for a while. Till I wake to the showers and everyone's around. Watching your every move like a hawk in the sky. To see if you're stronger enough. Will you live?

Will you die? I gaze at the people around me with my head held high. Cause I know I'm not crazy. But yet I'm in the crazy house. Sweet! So the rhyming scheme is still in the house. Sweet. So the rhyming scheme. There's tears.

Oh my god. The tears run down my face as they strap me down. I spit on them. Then they slap me around. I wake up laughing. Oh, how funny it is. I guess I am crazy. Living in this crazy house.

It's crazy. The food this crazy house. Oh! God, slapstick! The rhyme scheme for that sequence was A, B, C, C, C, D. The strange thing was that started out as just a dirty limerick on a bathroom wall. That's the weird thing. Okay, we got two more

of Luna Deathkiss's poetry. This is the second. I hope you like ellipses. Oh, she's still not saying... Oh, no, her mood for this one is sad. Oh, it doesn't have a title. No, it's called Double Ellipses. Yeah, it's six dots.

Oh, my God. No. You got to commend her for having an accurate title there. It's true. You know what you're getting into with this one. Okay. So apparently this is called dot dot dot dot dot dot

My love leaving doesn't love me no more. Broken I love me no more. Broken. I'm broken hearted. You don't want me? Don't even care.

Are you crying? Oh yes, I'm crying. I feel so sad. So damn bad. Walking and you don't look back. All our memories have diffed away.

What's diffed mean? I don't know what diffed means. Forever. There's no more of you and me. Now I watch you run you and me. Now I watch you run away from me. Do something better.

I think that I can't live on. Why do you do this to me? I wish that I never fell in love Go on Bye You're free

That's not how you spell your in that situation This is what you always wanted. Dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot. I mean, like, a long, rambling guitar solo here. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I like to picture her, like, throwing her hand against her forehead every single time she writes in ellipses. Every dot represents a slap to the forehead. I love slap. Just fainting.

I love! Okay, so the last one had ellipses. This is our last bit of poetry from Luna Death Kiss with more, let's say, unconventional punctuation. This is a poem that I wrote a long time ago. I would say it's only for girls. But anyways, smiley face, it's a Christian poem. I wrote it

when I was a Christian. Pass 10s. Take that, God. Score one for God. Excuse me, I'm reading my poem. God, shut the fuck up, guys. God, I'm trying to be miserable here. Imagine

a world where the sky is black. Everything is dead. You're cold, dirty. You're wearing nothing but a black slip. Your hair is wet and soggy. Okay, your hair is wet

space comma space soggy. I'm your hair is wet, space comma space, soggy. I'm liking this more and more. Ah! You... Your bare feet, as in your ursine feet, stand up and ask God. You fall to the ground,

you close your eyes, and when you open them, dot, dot, dot, dot, you're something in a world, comma, where there's peace, love, beautiful flowers. You look amazing. Yay! A handsome young man says, take my hand.

He leads you to a place where there's nothing but nice, beautiful angels smiling at you, welcoming you into their home. You go to this feast where you're sitting with Jesus Christ! Yay!

He talks to you. He says, I love you and I forgive you. Reach to go give him a hug and when you. He says, I love you, and I forgive you. Reach to go give him a hug, and when you open your eyes, dot, dot, dot, dot, you're laying in your bed at home, hugging your pillow. Smiley, winky face. Winky face. This only happens to me in a dream.

Weird, I know. Smiley face. So wait, Jesus is actually a pillow? Yeah, I mean, that whole thing about heaven is all well and good, but do I still have feet like a bear? This is important. Sad kitten says, I was a Christian too.

Nice poem. No, she does not. No, she does not. Sorry, I was a Christ-ane. I was a Christ-ane. No, she does not. Sorry, I was a Christ-dane. I was a Christ-dane. I was a Christ-dane.

The stain of Christ compels you. Maybe that's what he left on her pillow. Hey, I'll be here all night. I have to wonder if, like, Immolation looks at these forums just to come up with song names. Like, hmm, Christ-dane, yeah, that'd be a good one. Before we move on, can I read just a little bit of Sad Kitten's likes and dislikes? Sure, absolutely.

Okay, mood. It's raining cats and dogs. Location. Location. My fucking world. Like. So it lives on the side of the corner. Sad Kitten. Likes.

I really like cookies because it sounds funny when you make it sound stupid when you post it everywhere. I also like horrors, books, hugs, kisses, internet, cello, cookies, monster, and a lot more. I think she also likes... Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. She likes monster? I like monster. I should message her. Yeah, totally. Judging from that past paragraph, though,

I bet she also likes having her own gravity. Dislikes. I hate backstabbers that pretend to be your friend, but they are using you to get something. I also hate slots! Slots! that pretend to be your friend, but they are using you to get something. I also hate SLOTS! PPLE who

watch porn, liars, hugs, wait. That was in her likes too. Hugs, expect from like. Kisses, expect from people I like. People who think they are better than everyone. People who don't know what the real world is like.

Close-minded people. Most of all, I hate it when I feel left out of something or not cared about, just left to sit there like I'm going to die and no one cares much more. Man, it's like I've known her my whole life. She dislikes kisses unless they're from people that she likes so there's a whole lot of people just running up and kissing her at all times

yeah that's what happens what did your bio do? I am very pessimistic and I am shy around the people I like that is when I blush get nerves and want to hind in a dark corner

I'm a very friendly person when you get to know get nerves and want to hand in a dark corner. I'm a very friendly person when you get to know me because I show vicious love. That is what I call it when I smile for a long time. I tend to get obnious. Obnious. Do I understand? I'm always getting obnious. Boots, for a quick second while you were reading, I turned on

Front 2, 4, 2, and then had both playing at the same time. I'm just saying as an ending note, it worked quite well. Yeah, Headhunter is the soundtrack song to that. I'm sorry, I can't let this one go. Yeah, please read Help Me Choose.

Help Me Choose. Help Me Choose. Should I get, one, the skirt, hot topic, two, the pants, hot topic, three, the skirt, hot topic, and get the pants from Walmart? I think the pants from Walmart, absolutely. Yeah, it ties it all together. I think that's actually enough of that. Yeah, it ties it all together. I think that's actually enough of that.

Oh, no, it's not. Oh, should I? Okay. Here's the problem-y. Sorry. Here's the problem-y. Have to wear pants because of orchestra, but my teacher brought a towel in so I could wear a skirt but here's the catch i don't

want to be stared at and have people's eyes gluttoning over and i hate it when people stare at me help me on what i should get yes what the what the hell is i with extraordinarily fat goth chicks and orchestra? P.S. I would give you a link, but it could... how to? What the hell is happening? Well, you know the best... You know the actual ideal best way to express your pain and grief at being human? A tuba.

What was that thing with the towel? Do you see what I mean? What happened with this? What the world needs now is a true words of wisdom like la la la la la la la la la. What the world needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole in my head. Why is my head so big? Man, I've been going through so many different emotions lately and thinking about death almost every day. I'm turning 17 years old in November, and I feel like I failed my teenage years, and I just can't take it.

Was there a test on teenagehood? Yes. I have no real friends at home, but a few at school. I'm so insecure about myself. It's because of the size of my head. It has affected the way I have lived. I'm about 5'8", and the size of my head is kind of big for my body. I've been made fun of my entire life from elementary and middle school.

It never really bothered me in elementary and middle school, but it has deeply affected me through my high school years. I've been called big head a few times, and it really hurts me inside. Jesus, that's the best they can come up with is big head. This is some scathing shit. Yeah, man. Whenever I walk through the hallways, I get stares from people, and I start going crazy, and I ask myself,

where are they staring at me because they noticed I had a disproportional-sized head? I barely have spoken to any girls at all in high school because I'm afraid that they will think I'm a freak or something because my head looks big. I'm afraid to go outside anymore because I always get the feeling of people staring at my head. My friends from school and I don't know, but it's like they don't see the size of my head

and haven't really made fun of me or called me big head, so I feel comfortable around them. But when I walk by myself in the hallways, I feel like everyone is looking at me all the time. I get depressed every day because I look at everyone else and everyone looks so normal and I'm the only one with the biggest head.

If I didn't have freaking macrocephaly or it disproportionalizes its head, then I would be more confident in myself. But I just don't. I was thinking maybe I could hide the size of my head by growing out my hair. But I think it will just make my head look even bigger. Well, because you know that guy's got, like, the afro thing going on. Oh, guaranteed.

I'm assuming he looks just like his avatar, which bones and thugs in harmony. No, it's like he looks like a snowman. It's like his head is a big circle, and then his afro is a slightly smaller circle, and then there's a hat on top of that. And his nose is a carrot. Well, yes. And, of course, his body is a bigger circle.

Ever since high school, I've been thinking suicide. In the past couple weeks, I have been thinking about suicide even more but i just can't do it because i love my family too much i don't want to leave them blah blah blah my little brother is probably the only person that has prevented me from committing suicide because i love him too much to leave him the only reason i continue to live is because of him but it's so hard when you're lonely and depressed. So the responses to the actual forum aren't golden, but Jack Chick, I found this, which is a response to him in another place.

Read the post by Forby King. Forby King. Foby King. Dude, I feel just like you. I thought of killing myself, too. Yay! I have the biggest, largest head in the world. I am in high school, too, and people stare and talk about me, too.

I can't capital W wear hats because of my head size. I can't really get a girl because the first thing they look at is my big ass head. People have always made fun of my head when I was little. When I was in grammar school, it didn't really bother me. But now that I'm in high school, that's the only thing I think about. Sometimes I wish I was never born. Because of my head size, I am forced to live a different lifestyle than normal people. I hate going outside because I am afraid people are talking about me and staring at me. Sometimes I wish God would have gave me something else, like a big nose or big ears. But I feel I've been cursed with a really big head.

I always wanted to be normal. I always tried high school school girls, friends, and happiness I always wanted. But now I realize that will never happen. Four. And Crazy Teen responds. What's up? Hey man, what up? For a little while there

I was like, boy, I think Jack Chick made completely the wrong choice with that voice and then all of a sudden I heard sometimes I wish I was never born that's a lot of excitable misery there well the whole thing was like this big down in the dumps guy so I figured you know Ash from Pokemon

would be I think we did Darkwing already but this is a So I figured, you know, Ash from Pokemon would be appropriate. I think we did Darkwing already. But this is a... It's called Men Compare Women. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. They do. They do.

This is so incoherent. You're right. Wow, this is awesome. Can anybody figure out what the hell the signature for Flicky is? I'm still on Darkwing, who looks like it's like an archangel that's sitting on a three-day swastika. I'm pretty sure, I'm looking at DeviantArt account right now, and I think he's making a comic. Oh, cool. Of course.

That's good. I'm happy about that. I think that angel is in turn unleashing a blue angel. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Doesn't it? Oh, man, the back of Darkwing's account is awesome. It's a whole tile of this image or video has been moved to deleted photo bucket. Darkwing, the postaholic.

His mood is kicking their ass! Men compare women. In my opinion, men are best than women because we have muscle, great looking, resist, and great humor. Oh, okay.

Men get pulled of stress to keep inside and never ball out to front of people. Some men do. What a idiot! Yeah, I know. So true. For women, it's kinda hard to notice because they always say,

I have to do but fail. Jesus Christ. They really are always saying that, aren't they? I know what you're up to. Always worry about makeup, but come on, two hours to get ready with shit powder or everything for faces? They always with stress. Arrgh! Who care about broken nails?

But what man does have a same common with women? That's easy! They married, have sex, and happily ever after. This topic is about comparing between those men and women. Women have got to be better than men. They put up with the fucked up minds of adorable guys,

and most of the girls I have met have a really good sense of humor. Not only that, but they can withstand 7x the amount of pay that us guys go through. You know childbirth? Never heard of it. I grew up with a sixer that is six years older than me, and having almost all of my friends be girls, I have learned a lot. And I am one of the only

guys who will admit that women are way, way, way, way, way more superior than men. And I am resolute on that. Now come pet my dog. I have a dog.

His name is Girl. Mood. Mood. Mood. Sick. Oh, I gotta read. I gotta read his... He's got two quotes bookending each part of his signature picture, and I've gotta read I gotta read his, he's got two quotes like bookending

each part of his signature picture and I've gotta read those in that voice Okay, here we go I am ready to beat my maker whether my maker is prepared for the ordeal of beating me is another matter And

And Absence from whom we love is worse than death and frustrates hope and and and absence from whom we love is worse than death and frustrates hope severer than despair wow I should like to add that this post is closed with a dark winged post

I thought he said absence from homey love and that was even better chills out I may post this thread doesn't mean this said absence from homie love, and that was even better. Chills out, people. I may post this thread, doesn't mean this meant to insult women. Sorry, I'm gonna share this again. Doesn't this meant to insult women?

Well, some of ooh take too personal. But I just want to see her reaction after ooh read this, then see what happened. Some men support women as equal well yeah I know that that's why I wrote short on this thread I don't write long paragraph

to insult all entire world to hate me nah some guy say this thread that love me PTW PS I bored so that's why I put this up so TAS PS, I'm bored, so that's why I put this up. So that clears it all up. Thanks. TAS 9303, sensitive guy, his last post right now, as of this reading,

his last post is, People are freaking out over cars and such, destroying the Earth's atmosphere when cows are giving off natural gas that is even worse than cows, so if they really want to slow down global warming, make more hamburgers. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh! I have a very cool sense of humor.

I'm very sensitive. Those poor cows. Yeah, but if we're making more hamburgers, like if there's more demand for hamburgers, there'll be more cows, and it'll just be worse. Oh, he really thought this through all the way. This guy's awesome. Hello. I'm not really jerk, but I can help a lot

with no complain. I can work out a lot an hour. Sometimes I play some games, but I like to more time to have chat with people here or outside. I don't care about people who complain about small reason as shirt,

foods, and many stuff. Anyway, I love to be in Gothic because it was more comfort for me. I don't care if someone say to me that I am goth, so fight them to bleed. and the line got your chin held high and you feel just fine cause you do what you're told

but inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold I will link you to Suicidal Vampire profile it is completely unreadable so I had to copy and paste it into Google Docs so that

it could read. I gotta say, whoever has that name must feel lucky that they actually fleeced getting Suicidal Vampire. I know. It's a coup. Alright. I'm so sick of everything with six pcs. I really am sick of everything.

I don't know where to start. I'm quite busy with Ooni. Still have two essays and then it's exams, but I'm so sick of the annoying people there. They really drive me insane. There is this one guy in English class, and he thinks he's so funny, but he's not. He just retarded with no fucking manners.

But every other loser in class thinks he's funny, so they laugh, and he never fucking stops. Today, I was seriously thinking about killing him and his preppy girlfriend

who is so fucking religious and pathetic, I could torture her and not feel bad about it. Really. Oh my god. My English is busy. Also a little broken. My psych is okay.

No, it's not. I'm really enjoying social psych but not enjoying psych and the law. It feels like my mom pressurized me. Enjoying social psych, but not enjoying psych and the law. It feels like my mom pressurized me. Do not run over suicidal vampire. Do not shake suicidal vampire.

Do not stab suicidal vampire. Do not subject suicidal vampire to extreme heat or she may explode. Okay. But anyways, it's almost over. Work is so shit. It really is. I was only paid for August on Friday and still haven't been

paid for September. And then this weekend I wasn't working and I told Dave, the manager, and Jason, the boss, that I'm not working. And then at like 4, we start at 5, Graham, the other manager, calls me and asks if I'm going to work and I told him I'm not. And I told him that I told Dave and Jason that he said

I must tell him too but I mean hello what? my English is busy we gotta introduce her to that oh god surely telling two people is enough

especially if there is only three oh no and I told him anyways then he said that i have to pay a fine because i didn't work yesterday sunday but that's only if i was meant to be working in the first place i could kill them too seriously and now we. And now we've moved into an even worse office. It's round the back of the house and it has really steep ramp as an entrance with hardly

any light and it's fucking dirty. And the other day I realized that I work for an alcoholic, a drug dealer, and a rapist. We all own the same guy. He drinks all the drugs and then rapes you? How does that work exactly?

I think he rapes the booze. Oh, beer and bag of marijuana. I'm gonna stick my dick in both of ya. No, it's a three-person hug. Hey, we're no consent neither. Fucking lovely, hey? Home life is up and down. My sister is back from the UK, which is cool,

but now I don't think I'm going to have as much freedom as I did before. On the other hand, I could go out more at night because then she would be there to look after my mom. My mom is really annoying me. She feels so sorry for herself like all the time, but she never wants to talk about it, and she enjoys making me feel stupid and unwanted. She really irritates me. Really. Okay, and here's the next sentence. Things with the werewolf are going okay. And here's the next sentence.

Things with the werewolf are going okay. Oh, no! I was going to ask. Okay. Ask about your drug-dealing rapist boss, and then, oh, how's the werewolf doing? Oh! Loves Poochawanna.

There's no Hallmark cards for that, for some some reason sorry to hear about your werewolf loss okay the next half that sentence is nice too we had a fall out he caught me cheating with one of my exes we've tried to make things better but it doesn't feel like it's getting anywhere. It's like he doesn't want to see all that shit that went wrong that led me to cheat. Oh, I cheated on him. It's his fault. Don't get me wrong. I know I fucked up, and I know it was wrong, and I feel really shit about it, but there were reasons why it happened. There really were.

And he just doesn't want to see them. He wants to make things better, but I don't know. He says we must spend less time together. That's good. And we tried it today. Whoa! We spent like an hour alone. But then what did you do

Jesus Christ she spent that time writing this I think we need some time apart I'm gonna go take a shit I'll be back in a minute I might be in there a while okay and then we went to

okay we spent like an hour alone and then we went to... Okay, we spent like an hour alone, and then we went to But Weed, and then we went to visit Sleeves, who I thought was a mutual friend, but we broke up for like a day, and he took the werewolf side, and I don't want to hear my side until after the werewolves and I got back together

and he never asked me once how I was doing with the breakup! Over the course of the whole 24 hours. Never asked me once. So we went there and spent like an hour watching stupid things on his comp and then I wanted to see

him a bit before work but he was too busy he was doing a break but then he wanted to go to the LAN and spend time with even the guy whose awesome party he went to without me

okay we were broken up and I know that he needed time but I was dying to go but he went with Sleeves and I know that he needed time, but I was dying to go. But he went with Sleeves, and they had a fucking awesome time. And I went to this stupid club and hated it. So now I'm worried that if we spend less time together, the time we spend together will be spent with other people, which is cool, but not all the time. Oh, okay, yeah. Finally.

And lately, I've just been feeling really shit, to reiterate, about everything. Like, really, really shit. Last night, I even dreamed about suicide. And I've been having really fucked up dreams lately for, like, the last week and a bit i've been having nightmares about when me and the werewolf have children i'll see because then the werewolf's gonna want to fuck your child and we constantly fight about how they being brought up because i want my kids to be brought

up in a specific way and the werewolf and his bro and sis have been able to get away with SHIT! SHIT! Well, I want the kid to go to bed during the day and sleep during the night. Well, I want my kid to run around on all fours and eat from a dog dish. And I'm just not having that. And there are going to be rules

about my baby. Like, you can't hold it when it's a baby unless you really know, and you've had when... What? Like, you can't... Okay, hang on, I'll get this, I promise. You can get it. No, I want her procreating.

Like, you can't hold it when it's a baby unless I really, really know you, and you've had your own child and the other night I dreamed that his sister wanted to hold it and I said like no a million times and she kept coming to hold it so I

pushed her and then it was my fault but I've been having these dreams and I wake up every night sometimes more than once from these fucking dreams and I can hardly breathe and get so angry i once checked my pulse and it was insane it takes me about an hour after each time i wake up to calm down and i don't know why i'm having these stupid dreams i'm not pregnant and we're not planning on a baby anytime soon i mean the werewolf hasn't even asked me to marry him. Not prop... You are crazy. Not properly. And we've been dating

for like four and a half years and it makes me really fucking secure and not like I'm wasting my time at all. Fuck, I wish I had a gun. Wait. They've been dating for four and a half years and their idea

of spending less time together is like an hour? Yeah. Yeah. We're not believing that this is another person, right? It's just one of her personalities. Wait, you still have one more line. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. I wish I had a gun.

Well, I feel a bit better now. Mood. Fuck what you think. So, yeah. Yeah. I don't think we're going to have a child anytime soon, but I'm going to freak out about the theoretical child that I have and the rules that I'm going to set forth when my theoretical child exists. And there we go.

Fuck you, Dad. That was our teen angst episode. Hey, John, what do you think you learned this week? I learned that everything sucks. You knew that already, though, didn't you? Yeah, okay. Well, okay, here's something new I learned. Or at least reinforced.

It's just that, you know, teenagers are pretty much the same whatever generation. You know, the teenage adolescent angst. It's just, it never really changes. The names of bands and the names of the stupid things they take up their time with change. But, you know, a shitty teenager

is just pretty much a shitty teenager. It's a constant. And for me, it's a perspective that, it's a perspective that's changed for me. And it's a perspective that I hope that I, um that's changed for me and it's a perspective that i hope that i like i honestly i find them i find them adorable like i really like when you know there's the youtube thing it's like i hate you and you don't understand it's so stupid like i when i watch that youtube stuff i go like oh that's cute yeah and you know that's the thing you know when you're a teenager and people tell you's cute. Yeah, and you know, that's the thing.

You know, when you're a teenager and people tell you, you know, it'll change when you're older. It's not going to be the way. And you're like, no, it's going to be this way forever. And yeah, like you said, now I realize it will change. And what will change is that you'll find that kind of thinking hilarious. Yeah. It's not that the world will change, but whatever sort of psychosis that you have during a certain age period will go away. Right.

And, oh, and the other thing, I just thought of this. And the great thing about it now is that, you know, before the Internet, this kind of stuff would be locked away in a little fuzzy diary or a little journal thing. That's right. Or maybe before it was connected, computers were really connected, maybe some Word file saved on some random computer. It would have been locked away, tucked away, or it would have been just shitty poetry you never did. And it's the kind of thing that, you know, you become our age.

Like, you open it up, and then you find that old journal, and then you laugh at yourself. It's like, what the fuck was I thinking? Well, now you can do that with other people's writings and the whole world can see it's true it's true and god bless us for it i mean i know that i somewhere i think probably still have some sort of like binder of shitty poetry that i wrote when i was 15 years old i'm not putting that up on the internet nobody's gonna be seeing that shit and in fact well never mind i was gonna say that if i was 15 i wouldn't have been stupid enough to actually put that stuff

on but i probably would have been. Yeah, there's a lot of stupid decisions. Because my stupid poetry was going to be better than other people's stupid poetry. Exactly. They need to see mine of higher quality. But the fact that this can be shared and that it's digitally archived, and that to a certain extent you can keep it alive

and in people's minds forever. You can keep it live and re-upload it. It's just beautiful. It is. It is. The internet's a magical place, and I'm glad to have this little part of it. Until next week, I'm Lemon.

And I'm John. And I don't know, some sort of tagline. Well, fuck you, Dad's working so far, so yeah. Fuck you, parents. Our dicks don't have noses. Good night. Good night. Now everything's wrong. Yeah. Now everything's wrong. Yeah.

Now everything's wrong. Yeah. Now everything's wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know about anybody else, but that actually is a situation that has happened to me.

Yes. Can somebody go post about your smelly crotch? Jack, I said I was sorry, okay? John's got smegma. We were getting all hot and heavy, and then she discovered that my pussy smelled really bad. Wait a sec. No, sorry. I'm reading Wait a sec. No, sorry.

I'm reading the script here. No, no, no. I mean, I was going to go down on a girl, and that happened. And my response was to just say, hey, it's kind of gross down there. I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but seriously. I don't want to hurt your feelings? You followed it up with, I don't want to hurt your feelings? Hey, I'm not a very classy guy, but hey, it worked out.

No, that's not very good. See, I was right when I had that situation. I just didn't go down on her and, well, opted for other things. Leaving and asking the internet, right? I stuck it in and then I fucked her. Mike Jets doesn't have a nose. He doesn't? Oh, it's true.

F plus, the sex advice issue. We didn't read anything. Next up, Dan Savage shoots himself. We're coming after that terrain.