The F Plus - 181: Go Fund Yourself

Episode Date: July 15, 2015

What a wonderful time it must be if you're the owner of a crowd funding website! Presenting one such example, GoFundMe is a crowdfunding site where people can raise money for a cause without being hampered by constraints like minimums or timelines. Is this a good model for persons deserving of help and/or charity? Emphatically yes. However, as you might expect, none of the people covered in this episode are terrific examples of this. This week, The F Plus is starting an anti-cowboy rodeo church.

Hi. Boots Reingear here from the F+. In a couple of minutes, you're going to hear Lemon give credit to this episode. He's going to say it was compiled by Cheapskate. He is a fucking liar. The doc for this episode was compiled by Ameet, from content submitted on Ballpit by Nigeline and Ameet. Enjoy, and stop listening to Lemon's filthy lies. Welcome to the F Plus Podcast, a very profitable place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. In August 2013, I took a leap of faith and quit my job to pursue a dream of starting my own company, building things. Come quats up! my own company, building things.

Come quats up! I'm rassing money to pay for my beer and video games. I'm in college so I'm not working, so anything you give me will be wasped on beer or video games, pretty much. Thank you. Frank West! For instance, if you lack magical items in prison, make some by mixing

toilet paper roll and paper dust with soap shavings and water into a crude paper-shaped paste. Then shape and decorate them. Poor tax! Spanish for gringos is a modern program breaking down the language barrier with humorous anecdotes and sexy, new, unique methodology. And lemon. I need $280,000 to eat at every three-star Michelin restaurant. Every penny counts, so if you pledge a few dollars and the next person pledges a few dollars,

we can all make this happen. It's the Loomis method. We can all make this happen. It's like a community. You know what I mean? We can all make it happen together. It's like you're eating the food, but I am. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. food, but I am.

Hey, F+. Hey, Matt. How are you doing? Are you accomplishing your goals this week? Yes. You could call it that. Correct. I'm not entirely wearing pants, and I have a beer, so yes. Not entirely wearing pants. That's a mental picture I'm just going to roll down the window and chuck out of my brain.

going to roll down the window and chuck out of my brain. So, if you're having problems with your own life goals or finances, that is, and this is very important, somebody else's problem.

It's true. That's what I've been telling people, and nobody fucking listens. Do you have pants? Not entirely. We are going to visit a site called GoFundMe. GoFundMe is another in a series of

dirtbag websites in the Kickstarter tradition. We've done a couple of these now. There's Kickstarter, there's the Indiegogo, there's the one for... OffBeater. Yeah... Off Beater. Yeah, Off Beater. And this is another one in there.

And before... And other than talking about Monster Girls fucking, the crowdfunding episodes are the ones that cause the most ire in listeners. So let me start out by saying that, like, I'm not saying that these sort of things, like, shouldn't exist. No, no, fuck this. These things should not exist. And here's my proof, goddammit.

Oh, god, no. No, now that they're all distracted, we can finally start reading. Oh, great. So here's my proof. And that proof is starting with this here. And this is called Fund for My Magical Education. Sure. We're going to fund my magical education.

Great, great. Cool. So, currently, I have $200. Okay. And I'm looking to hit for $9,999. Yeah, you want to be greedy. Yeah, it's the damage cap, buddy. That was raised by three people in one month.

Okay, good. Yep. Hey! Hey. Hey. My name is Amanda Maloney. That's like malarkey and Baloney wrapped up in one. That's fitting.

And I have a desire. Oh boy, why? My desire is to be filled with magic in every cell of my being. You could talk to Wizards of the Coast about that. There's a lot of ways to get there. And every one of them is a potential to grow in numerous unfathomed ways. So I need to get my magical education, because clearly I'm completely educated.

Well, yeah, you're English education, so you're going to double major. I believe the unfathomed part. My goal is to go on a one-taste immersion program. They have many programs, which includes the Mastery Intensive Week and the Coaching Program. Now, just like you, I am interested in both. But I won't know which way I'm going with this until later. So I ask for your support. I just want to pause for just a moment because I googled the OneTaste immersion program.

So did I. And I came across OneTaste.us and here's what it says in the header. OneTaste. Registered trademark's what it says in the header. Onetaste registered trademark powered by orgasm trademark. It took me to onetaste.wpengine.com which says take your orgasm to the next level.

We believe orgasm is more than a 10 second party. Well, don't worry. I'm sure this will clear everything up. The principles behind orgasmic living. Discover your orgasm personality. We picked the wrong doctor, Reed.

Wow. What kind of orgasm are you? Are you Slytherin orgasm? Are you a little orgasm? I don't know. Let me put on the magical sorting condom. The sorting Jimmy hat. Oh, yeah.

Anyway, back to this bullshit. Orgasm. There's a well of energy that lives inside you. We're not going to stop unless you keep reading, Borthek. Okay, sorry, sorry. Every contribution fills me with gratitude and makes it clearer to me just how right it is that I'm on this journey right now. Okay. If you'd like to learn more about the One Taste Foundation, visit their website at onetaste.us.

We definitely are. Jump the gun, asshole. The reason I'm choosing One Taste as the organization for my magical education is because of the 15-minute orgasm cultivating practice called OM, short for Orgasmic Meditation. I'll bet they pronounce it OM. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just someone sitting there with their hands out and legs crossed just going, and just screaming, just rocketing out of every orifice. I've tried a lot of different practices of meditation,

and I've always wanted to have something in my life that would cultivate my sexuality Okay. You got me? Because I don't. OM is that and much more. This practice resonates with me more than anything has for me ever. See? Except maybe yoga and eating healthy. It's so simple, yet it's effective at creating heat and changing the way I'm living my life.

So you're not coming enough? Is that your problem? Creating heat. I don't know if I'm coming or going. Do I need to pay for your orgasms? It's creating heat. They need't know if I'm coming or going. Do I need to pay for your orgasms? Creating heat. They need us to pay.

Look, I tried setting up a Patreon where you donate one dollar every time I cum, and it's just not working. Do you have to provide proof of your cums? No. Look, I just cum whenever I feel

like it, and when that happens, you just give me 15 bucks. Alright? My intention for going to the coaching program would be to get more turned on in my life. Learn how to receive the way I want to receive. Get super good at integrating my

polarities and shadows. What are you, asshole? Turned on is all one word and has a capital O-N. So I'm guessing it's sort of like a point system that they have in the one-case method. It's like yammy beans. Turn O-N level three, Scientology kind of thing. I got thetans in my cut, you guys. Turn ON level 3. Scientology kind of thing. I got thetans in my cut, you guys.

Where am I in this? My intention. Your intention. And learn how to show up in my life in all these places that we aren't normally accustomed to allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in. What? Whatever. Like anger, rage, vengeance, sadness.

You're still masturbating? Hell yeah, that's the only way to know. Vengeful masturbation. Those are just the names for the various fleshlights. Oh, I think Kumquat's right, because the next thing just on its own, just all one sentence is, heartbreak. Yeah, these are the five stages of realizing you're a Hufflepuff.

Just Hufflepuff. You're welcome, Kumquat. It's a moaning myrtle, but it's not the kind of movie you like. I also want to bring my incredible wisdom out in the world and help out the rest of us who just want this amazing juiciness in their lives, too. Oh, God! What the fuck

was any of that? She wants us to pay her money so she can orgasm until she feels confident. Come quiet. I know this is gonna surprise you, but they have a San Francisco office. Oh, boy. I know, I mean, I know that you all are aware

of my interest in magic. Right. Yeah, magical orgasms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I tried to take their which orgasm are you quiz, but then they were like, give us your email and we'll send you the results. So, I don't know which kind of orgasm I have. So instead, I'm going to try to help this guy write his gay rave fiction books.

Hey, Frank West. Yes? Do you need help writing your gay rave fiction books? Do I ever. Then why do you always... You never respond to my emails. What's your name there? What is my name?

I'm Sean A. Delage. Okay, sure. Sean A. Delage. Sean of the Delages. And help my gay rave fiction books. You bet. Not exist, sir. I've raised $2,138

of $10,000 I've raised by six people. Well, that's pretty impressive in what I'm sure is a very short time span. Uh, 25 months. So, campaign's still going. We're really starting to build steam.

This is an ongoing process. This will be your master opus. Oh, $2,000 of those dollars. We're really starting to build steam. This is an ongoing process. This will be your master opus. You're done. Oh, $2,000 of those dollars. Of those $2,138, $2,000 may have been donated by somebody named Patrick, which I'm going to assume

is somebody who is also really gay raved. Donated by Sean, I mean Patrick. Alright, so tell me about your project here. So I start with update. No, here we are. I have written a superbly surreal

and dimensional book called Xenophobic. How many dimensions? I have copywritten the name with the government of Canada. Oh, my. Does that count, Boots? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, but it's pronounced Xenophobic. I was thinking maybe he decided to address the Canadian people and was like, let's give xenophobia a chance. Let's just pick a random country and just hate the shit out of them. So who are you? Do you have any credentials to write this kind of book? I am a reclusive rave reverend that lives in the forest community on Vancouver Island. I was a part of the club scene of the 1990s, which influenced this project. He was a part of the club scene.

He was not involved. He was not in it. The first module has been completed. The editing. Thanks! First he edits the book, then he writes the book. No, no, no. First he edits the book, then he writes the book. No, no, no.

First he edits the book, and then the next logical step is to get the e-book some studio time and be published as an audio book. What? And the second module includes editing the sequel. Oh, okay. The word module makes this... Okay. Yes. Right.

Hey, what is a xenophobic? I have no idea. You're not done asking the question. You are done asking the question. What is a xenophobic? A mis... God damn it. Okay.

Fuck, I signed up for this. Here we go. Hey, Frank West, I have a very succinct question for you. Sure. Okay, what is a xenophobic, a misspelled interpretation of xenophobia? Well, the book is based on a gay stud with schizophrenia that travels through a massive multiplayer virtual world called xenophobic. He meets gurus and goes to raves.

Wow, that sounds... Frank, didn't you already read this book at F Plus Live 3? I'm almost positive. Pretty sure. His best friend in the virtual world shows him how he can actually morph into his avatar and literally be the character in the virtual world.

Literally? Okay. Literally. Okay. Literally. That's literally a good idea. Literally. Fuck everyone? It was written in literature. Much of his insane and funny travels through the virtual world are a byproduct of my own dream state.

Not only that, but he meets a ferret. Furry. Guru. Yay! And attends her enlightenment talks, and the sidekick character does quite a bit of poetry in the real world at a poetry gathering at his local cafe. What?

Fuck! I don't even think that's related to the story. Not even in the virtual world. Just off, you know, some poetry. Yeah. This book charts their lives, and through the world of love and never-ending fun. Everyone that helps fund this book gets a PDF copy of Xenophobic to read. That's a great description of your book.

Can I just get a bunch of words for no reason? Sure. Sure. Ravers. Virtual worlds. Dimensions. Poetry. Small animals.

Gurus. Furries. Drug culture. 420. Mental illness. Enlightenment. Gay men. Love.

Parties. Literary trippin'. What? Yo, dog, I'm straight literary trippin'. Audio vacation. Furry transgenderism. Weight. Schizophrenia. Wealth.

Dream state. Buddhism. Meditation. Virtuosity. Thank you. Oh, thank you for all your keyword jamming. Yeah, can you make every last one of these a tag when this episode goes down? Sure, what the fuck?

One of the things I really liked about, by the way, this document put together by Cheapskate, thank you, and Cheapskate very much showed some restraint this time. This document is only 18 pages. As opposed to the

72 page one he gave me recently. But yeah, the thing that one of the things I enjoyed about this document is it says, for this one it says, Writer, help my gay rave fiction books, 2,138 of 10,600, raised by six people in 16 months. Parentheses, worst book cover in the world goes here. Wow. He's not lying. It's hard to make a good book cover

if you get it printed on corrugated cardboard. Yeah, what is this important Photoshop filter? No, that's a Photoshop. That's a straight Photoshop filter right there. Oh, I know.

Yeah, but like, why did he do that? Because it looks great. That's why. Hey, come quats up. Yes, hello! What are... I know two of your favorite things.

One of your favorite things, of course, meditation. Yep. And another one of your favorite things is death matches. So, will you read about the meditation death match? I love both those things so much that I want money for them. Hey, Kumquats up! What's the URL for the meditation deathmatch? www.gofundme.com

slash 93JDLG You cannot stop him when he starts. That's true. That's true. He is a force of nature. Now scroll down and find out the actual URL for the meditation deathmatch. Oh, that's a much worse URL. http://meditationdeathmatch.ch

I love Switzerland. That's the URL we'd get if we had meditation deathmatch. That's absolutely true. And if you want to have a meditation deathmatch, go on down. I like balloon juice. I don't own that URL anymore. I hate you.

So what is meditation deathmatch? It's a game where we put PEGs on two players to read their brainwaves. We ask them to show us their war faces. Then we can find out who can relax

harder. What? I'm so relaxed I'm not donating. Oh yeah! I am so at peace right now. Brother. Yeah, it's like if cuddle party people cut wrestling promos on each other. Anyone can get excited in an instant, but few can relax at will. But few can relax at will.

Um, I mean, I feel like I... Well, I don't know. I have troubles relaxing sometimes. Okay. Okay, so tell me more. Ultimately, we want to teach people to develop better control over their neurological states. As a team, we're excited about the opportunities for personal development that this technology makes possible. Meditation Deathmatch is our first public release in the neurofeedback arena! Stormo versus Goliad. Yeah, that's where I love to have my meditation deathmatches. Yeah.

Yeah, that's where I love to have my meditation death matches. Yeah. This project will let us field test our plans for a future system that you'll be able to use to enhance your meditation practice at home. With EEG, we can provide people with a quantitative framework to develop their own techniques for neurological control. Yay! I love when science enters hippie bullshit. That's always a really

great marriage. Yeah. There are many ways to reach a target state. You know, not all states have targets. Sometimes, you know, you have to go to Walmart. Thanks, Conkwad. Run them crickets in.

Yeah, yeah. The name meditation deathmatch is absurd. And that's intentional. Because we're not recommending particular beliefs or techniques. We're not gurus. We're not going to teach you how to do it.

We're just going to tell you if you're winning or not. Oh, for fuck's sake. So can you rig the game? Can you fix matches this way? FIFA meditation. Can you, like, fix my edges this way? I have the FIFA meditation.

A 25-year sting operation in the World Meditation Organization today. Can we shoutcast this shit? Oh, he's sitting there. He's sitting there so hard. Hey, when's your next major exhibition going to be? In Qatar? No. Nope. Oh!

Our next major exhibition of this project will be at Burning Man! Yay! We... I can't believe... Fuck you. We need your help

to construct the geodesic thunder ohm. Oh, boy. Wow. Two men enter, one man sleeps. Create your own cult, but donate to us first. No.

Nope. Nope. I want to do neither of those things. You are so annoying. Hey, did you have any sort of fun names for the people that donated to your GoFundMe campaign? If you give me $5, you're called five as a crowd. All right. If I were to give you $23, what would you call me, and what would I get in return?

You're called a prickly patron! And you get a meditation. You didn't have one before, but now you have one. And then you get a death match? No, no, no, no.

Just read it all as one thing. And then you get... What? Read it all as one thing, come on. And then you get... What? Read it all as one thing. A meditation death magic obvi lotus necklace. Is that one thing? Yep.

Fuck, I hate me. That sounds good, but I want to give you $64. What can I get for that? I love you. You're a tentacle pupil. You can't see out of those. Thanks. Metal condition. Get a glass tentacle and skip the line of the show.

Oh, God. Do I want a glass tentacle? Apparently the glass tentacles are game tokens. What? Yeah. What game? It's like there's some sort of Buddha surrounded by glass tentacles. And then if I can give you $93, can I get anything from that? You're a serene zealot and you get dinner in Austin with the members of the team.

But if I give you $111, no, if you give me $111, you're a probationer! You will be assigned a training program and tested over an eight-week period. Oh, God. That sounds terrible. I don't know what... For what? Herpes?

Magic? Tentacles? Yeah. Herpes. For what? Herpes? Magic? Tentacles? Yeah. Herpes spelled with a C-K? Herpes C-K is my least favorite comedian, I gotta say. Hey, hey, hey guys. Hi.

Hi. Who are you? My name is Cormac Colin, but some people call me Nerdicus. No, I'm Nerdicus. Wow. Wow. You can find my GoFundMe

at GoFundMe slash Nerdicus. Help me get Nerdicus started. So... Judging from your picture, you already got started on being Nerdicus. Help me get Nerdicus started. So... Judging from your picture, you already got started on being Nerdicus. That's what you're talking about. I gotta get rid of these unnerdy Oakleys. Okay, so

34 months ago, I started a $10,000 YouTube channel. $10,000 campaign to start a YouTube channel. No, not starting000 YouTube channel. $10,000 campaign to start a YouTube channel. No, not starting a YouTube channel. What do you need a YouTube channel? Oh, you're absolutely right. I'm so sorry.

I am stat-ringing a new YouTube channel called Nerdicus. Simply, I need help to get it started. No, you see... The fees of entrance for YouTube are really high. Yeah, that's why there's only top quality content on youtube so clicking the link is really hard yeah this their vetting system

is real tight 30 34 months ago uh you know maybe someday uh i'll get there but anyway what is it about a channel that I will would What? Okay. One more time. Here we go. What is it about a channel that I will would upload videos of gaming anime views sci-fi

historical reenactment and the actors with inter-vials it will mostly it will be mostly nerdy and geeky stuff vials on vendors

who make armor or costumes for histrochial seafy cosplay and steampunk which is like punks that use steam, who makes them and were to buy it. Yep.

And maybe some fun parodies of your Anime, or whatever, is nerdy, with your donations, it will help me buy PCs, HD camcorder, software, which is like, you know, a sweatshirt, for editing.

I need to have my editing sweatshirt. Recording mics and anything for this project. If someone has any suggestions, let me know. I just want to get this started. Thanks,

Stoggs Garfield boys. So yeah, so let's see. YouTube.com Nerdicus. I don't know if this is the same guy, but it seems to be some bunch of videos of a tank rolling around in some Arma 3

videos. I would have loved for there to have been anime on YouTube, but this guy wasn't funded, so there's no anime. Yeah, it's really sad. It really is. Such a bummer. So, you know, you're all hungry for

video games. That's okay because, you know, GoFundMe. It will help. And I think that... Boots, you know, GoFundMe, it will help. And I think that... Boots, you need a startup cost for a new game company, right? I do, I do. I'm starting up a game company. Okay, what's your name? I don't know.

Okay, well, I'll let you figure it out. Nope, I can't. Nope, I can't help you there. Oh, okay, I see that. Sorry. So what's your name? My name's Andrew Pace. And what are you? And I'm a game developer!

Okay, cool, great. I live in the Denver area, and I need help with a startup cause for my new indie game studio. Okay, sure. Yeah, I'm currently in the process of assembling an international team to work on a game project, but the process is starting to get away from me. What? Everyone's so excited about the project. And they want to move forward.

But I still need to ensure that our hard work isn't all for nothing. I need to register for all the necessary trademarks and copyrights. But I don't have the money to do it. What? What? What? That's the first thing you need to do. Yeah, please help me get this taken care of.

How about I want $750 and you save up for it? How about that? No, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. Let's let this guy live his dream. So you get a new video game company. It's an indie game. Indie game? I want to make

a game that is indie and new. No, so lower budget. So what are we talking? So we're talking like $3 million, $4 million? What do you need? What do you need? $750! $750!

Fuck Bloodstained, I'm back in this asshole. My game is Pong? I've only got one-fifth of what I need so far. Oh, well, that's okay. You got time, unless, of course, you pull the URL and then... Well, you raise that in two months, so... Well, by how many people? By one person.

Thanks, Mom! No, it was Nerdicus. Oh, thanks was Nerdicus. Oh, thanks, Nerdicus. Yeah, also support Nerdicus, because there's nothing out there that caters to people who like nerdy things. Oh, I love it, yeah. Nerd's on YouTube, terrific.

Wouldn't it be great if we could all get together, start channels, and then recommend it to Lemon no matter how many times he says not interested? That would be great. But Lemon, I play a video game and then I yell over it. Don't you want to see it? And then YouTube will actually take my recommendation. So it's like, oh, I don't want to watch this, Les Player.

And it's like, okay, okay, I understand. Fair enough. How about this one? Anyway, so Frank West, it is time for you to go to gofundme.com forward slash fund three songs. I didn't know you had three songs. I only have three songs. Oh, okay. And so what's your name, first of all?

My name is Johnny Rowlett. Oh, that's a good name. I like that. So what are you trying to do? I'm trying to put God back in country. Okay, good. I wish a politician would say that out loud at some point. You hate all those atheist country songs out there?

Country. God country. See, it's hard. This is why I need $5,000 Alright well tell me about your heart will ya My heart Our heart is to take an Evangelist

It just turned into our heart Well so suddenly All of a sudden it's our heart Well we're legion We are many Do the borgs now know how to love Well, we're legion. We are many. Do the Borgs now know how to love? They're trying to put the Borg back in country.

Cun Borg tree? Our heart is to take an evangelistic message of the love and restoration of God wherever God would have us go, without concern and constraint of money. No matter the size, we will believe he will provide. Through you! He told me to ask you for money. He'll provide to me. We want to take the money

out of it, therefore give us money. We believe that cities can be won and we are to go in faith. If we are asked to go, our heart is to say yes. Please stand with us in 2015.

Consider partnering with Johnny Rollit Ministries and sending us. Your donation not only helps us to continue to do what God has called us to do, but it helps smaller and even rural churches all over the U.S. somehow. And someday the world will have

a ministry come and bring a message of hope and restoration to their cities. So partnering with you literally just means it gives you money. Yes. And through the nature of trickle-down spirituality. I could either donate to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, or... God, they never put the God back in country.

Or I could give all my money to Double Chin Johnny. He puts God back in country? His redneck, dumbass crew, and they'll be able to put the God back in country. God escaped from country. I gotta put him back in. God escaped from the country. There's probably not a whole lot of people at St. Jude's that wear acid-washed jeans, but Johnny Rowlett.

That's true. In all the St. Jude ads, I have not seen even one cowboy hat, and now I realize that's a failing on their part. Actually, I would go fund me to put cowboy hats on everyone at St. Jude's Hospital. Oh, man, I would fund that. I'm down. I'm totally down. As long as that money does not go to actually help anybody, I'm totally giving to it.

Yeah, that's why we're on this guy's page. Like, is this guy actually Toby Keith? I genuinely have a problem recognizing different white guys in cowboy hats. They all look the same to me. That's the secret. They are all the same.

Oh, wow. They're doing very well for themselves. They are putting the board back in country. That's reassuring, though, because I feel better knowing that it's actually one asshole as opposed to many. It's just one really busy guy. Yeah. He's running around all the time. Why is he so fucking doughy, then? so fucking doughy.

He points out at the end of this pitch that he's a 501c3, which is really just a damning statement about how easy it is to be a 501c3. I'm Christian! Okay, here you go. Okay, so I'm just like... What's this money for? Me!

Just skipping through the video, it looks like a... It's shot very much like a truck commercial. Yeah, I would imagine. And his, like, arm motions while he's... I'm assuming singing, I have it muted, but his arm motions always make it look like he's giving, like, a what-the-fuck motion.

Which is pretty great. Does he do the, like, jerk-off motion at any point? Oh, man, I hope so. That would put the gun back in country. You see him skip? Okay, just skip directly to, like, I hope so. That would put the gun back in country. You see if you skip? Okay, just skip directly to, like, 222. Sorry. I'm on his website, and it appears that he was declared the male vocalist of the year

at the pro-rodeo cowboy church. Oh, shit! Well, he doesn't need any money then. He must have gotten all sorts of funding from that. Are they rivals with the anti-rodeo cowboy church? Like, is that the snooty, upscale cowboys that are trying to get rid of you? No, no, no! It's the rodeos that are run by broncos. It's a blood sport. Kill him!

The horse camp across the lake is a bunch of jerks. Alright. Boots, it's time for you to go rhino hunting. But rhino is not spelled with an H.

That was the most disappointing click I've had all week. It's not that kind of rhino hunting. So, Tony DeMott, tell me about your campaign for rhino hunting. Hi there, I'm Tony DeMott. Oh, there's a picture of you in a suit, Grid. And I'm Reno hunting,

or rhino hunting. Nope, rhino hunting. Rhino hunting? Oh, okay, that's Republican in name only. Now you get it. Voting for and supporting progressive policies such as the Medicaid expansion, Obamacare exchanges, the internet sales tax, Common Core, etc. is what's truly supporting Democrats. Voting for.

Okay. Those that expose this behavior are the true conservatives in opposition to those policies. What? The beatings will continue until the votes improve. Ah, that's a clever turn of phrase there. That was nice. That was an update. Sorry. I have a hard time reading this web page for some reason. Yeah, no, it sucks.

So yeah, tell me about your campaign. Sorry. Oh, yeah. My purpose in life is to expose the rhinos, Republican in name only, who voted for and supported, in any way, Medicaid expansion. Those people are just a bunch of fucking assholes who just want to take your money. Anyway, go fund me. Give me $1,000. You got me.

got me. I will utilize political theater, flyers, mailers, robocalls, email, and any other means necessary to expose those charlatans. I'm gonna tattoo my mission statement on my cock and then wave it in people's faces at the bus station?

Political theater's supposed to be like a epithet you use to be empty political gestures. I think this guy might think it's an actual theater. It's an interpretive dance. I mean, yeah, this is a good campaign, because finally somebody will be out there on the front lines calling out Republicans for not being conservative enough.

That's a new and exciting voice in modern media. It's terrific. And then it's a bunch of comments with people yelling at him, which is what you would expect. It's the difference between all those other people doing this and this guy is this guy wants to get money for it. Well, they want money for that, too. That's true.

The greatest lie of politics, good people are obligated to support the lesser of two evils. That's true. The greatest lie of politics, good people are obligated to support the lesser of two evils. That's a lie? Yep, it's the greatest lie. Wow, that's... I don't think it's the best Congress money can buy! Ah!

Ah! The only person that donated that as an avatar is an avatar that says, Michigan loves Ted Cruz. Yeah. I bet they won't prove that love. Be the first to like this. No.

So, Portax, you keep bees, right? All the time. I'm covered in them as we speak. Great. So, the bees that you keep, are they sacred? Of course. Why would you keep any other bees? That's good. So you should teach us how to

keep bees in a sacred sort of way. Okay. My name is Aileen Peterson. It's Aileen. It's a name. Right. My name is Eileen Peterson It's Eileen, it's a name Right, my name is Alien Peterson And I'm

I'm teaching a Sacred beekeeping course And I need supplies And I have $150 raised by Three people in 16 months And that's just shy of my $1,500 goal. Yeah, you'll get there. It's just a zero.

Yeah. Well, that's why people keep calling me, too, and I still don't give up. I'll donate you $0, and you'll be there. Ooh. So what have you just started? Let's see here. What have I just started?

Yeah, you've got to scroll through bullshit. All right. I have just started? Let's see here. What have I just started? Yeah, you've got to scroll through bullshit. All right. I have just started midwifery training and was making plans to attend the 2014 Sacred Beekeeping Program held by the Ashland, Oregon-based College of the Melissae when I lost my job unexpectedly with no notice given. The college entirely of people named Melissa? say, when I lost my job unexpectedly, with no notice given, suddenly... People named Melissa?

No, Cheapskates points out that Melissa is a word for honeybee. It's an etymology word for honeybee. Yeah. So, my boss tried to kill me, I fell into a vat of bees, and this is my supervillain origin story. Good. I mean, maybe it gets better.

I'm the apophile! I am using this to reach out to those in my community for help in order to attend- So it's a superhuman that fucks bees? Yeah. Oh. File can also just mean love just in general. Not on the internet, it can't. Audiophiles do not fuck their het weight.

No, okay, bad example, bad example. My nemesis is the apophage. Anyway, sorry, keep going. Sorry. I am using this to reach out to those in my community for help in order to attend this amazing program. It is the only program of its kind that I have come across and teach a sacred beekeeping and holistic natural biodynamic-based beekeeping practices. It is the first program to offer students to be certified as natural beekeepers with the forming International Natural Beekeepers Federation after one year full study of starred fuck-fuck courses. fuck fuck courses.

After two years and full completion of all the courses with a minimum of 65% homework return God, really? You can pass while only knowing slightly more than half of the knowledge you need to know about bees. To be fair, the homework is just handing in bees. So as long as you keep

as less than 65% run away from your B-high, you're good. They show you flashcards. One's of a dragonfly, one's of a B. And if you can guess the right one after three tries, you pass. Then you get a B.

Now keep it! That's okay. So your ultimate goal? What's your ultimate goal? My ultimate goal? Yeah. Let me... Just remember.

Just, you know, search through your memory. See if you can remember what your ultimate goal is. Okay, sorry. The bees are crawling into my ear and it's affecting my brain. My ultimate goal is to have a biodynamic sacred bee sanctuary and temple. Whenever we start our permaculture homestead, hopefully within the next three to five years. I also want to be able to offer clients and temple goers epitherapy. What?

The modality of healing and maintaining health using bee products. Bee venom, propolis, raw honey, beeswax, etc. I believe in raising bees in a natural, biodynamic manner, and that is beneficial for all quote nothing, the bees. The earth

and people too. I want to interrupt for a second. I don't know if anyone here has ever communicated with somebody both before and after they tried to go off the grid. Because the after part is so much more fun than the before part. I would imagine. But they've learned so much. They have so much information to bring back.

Portek, this sounds fucking terrific. I love this. I want to give you $25. Ooh, okay. So bees are very important creatures. They're really important I want to give you $25. Ooh, okay. So bees are very important creatures. They're really important to the ecology. Yeah, whatever. $25.

So I'm going to offer something that's just as important. Okay. Okay. First of all, you'll be a pupa. Secondly, I'm going to give you a tarot. Bears will find you delicious. Mm-hmm. They already do.

Anyway, I'm going to give you a tarot reading They already do Anyway I'm going to give you a tarot reading And a handmade piece of jewelry Your choice of finished pieces Oh great I mean okay yeah I feel good I feel like the luckiest motherfucker in this room I got a tarot reading

I'm jealous And also I want to one up him I'm jealous, and also, you know, I want to one-up him. I'm going to give you $50. Oh, God damn it. Fuck. Well, don't worry. You're just a little worker bee then, lady.

You're going to get a tarot reading and a commissioned hemp jewelry piece. And you get bi-weekly updates on personal beekeeping progress. What? Wait, your bee writes to you? Look, for just a dollar a day, your bee will write to you. My beehive, it had no well. My commissioned help jewellery piece. Does that mean I can request that it be like

an anthro fox with both tits and a dick? No, it has to be a bee. It's an echo bee. Bee tar. Neither of these guys know how to treat a bee. I'm going to give you $100. Oh, shit! Frank, I've always called you my little

queen bee, and now you've just proved it. You're gonna get a tarot reading, commissioned hemp jewelry piece, bi-weekly updates on personal beekeeping progress, and a large bee-thieved painting.

Painted just for you, and a handcrafted magical or ritual item valued under $20. So, please, oh, please be a

bee-themed painting of Frank West. You know what? I'm pretty sure for a hundred bucks we could all get Dan Lacey to give us a much better

bee painting. Well, is this, I mean, is this going to be Bee. Well, is this going to be a fan art of Bee Movie, that Jerry Seinfeld thing, right? Yes, correct. It's going to be Charmy Bee from Sonic the Hedgehog. Hey, hey, everybody. Hey, hey, my name's Solstice O'Brien. Okay, hi, Solstice. I gave you $25.

Okay. Ryan! Okay, hi Solstice. I gave you $25 and that let me write on your GoFundMe page and here's what I had to write. Blessed bee! Is there a way to get you back the $25? See, without bees, the crickets will rule the world. So... I was about to suggest we just put a bee buzzing sound in.

Oh, that's nice. That's nice. And then we have to put it in before, too, when it doesn't make sense. I was really hoping that one of the... I was really hoping one of the rewards would be that they do the Wicker Man thing, where they put the cage on your head and pour the bees all over you. Well, one of the rewards should be called, yes, the bees! Ah.

I just wanted to read just a quick snippet from College of the Melissee, slash home underscore page dot html. The College of the Melissee offers a community-centered hands-on approach to the beekeeping science, art, craft, culture, and ceremony. Modeled after ancient village-based temple education systems, the college will

offer a multifaceted curriculum that will train students to become proficient beekeepers, as well as develop the skills to provide action-based magic in the leadership in these changing times. I want that. Through collective envisioning and prayer, we will celebrate and strengthen community and learn from one of nature's greatest emissaries, the mysterious honeybee. Our mission is spiritual, cultural, and political as the Melissa's energy directs and defines itself. The bees tell me what to do! It's the bee-controlled media. Kumquats up.

Yes? This page is no longer online, sadly, but I've heard that there's a... You know, I like to laugh. I know you like to laugh. And I've heard that there's a stand-up comic that wants to stand down. Is that right?

I hope not. There is a few that should. So it's just like, there was like an uprising and the supervillainous stand-up comic was just like, Stand down! Stand down!

Sir, haven't we gone too far? I mean, the knock-knock jokes are killing people. No! No, I'm going to carry forth this Gilligan's Island premise! No, please don't take the slug hammer to my head! No! First off, how much money are you looking for? I don't know who I am.

You're a stand-up comic that wants to stand down. I don't know who you are, unfortunately. For stand-down. I, in order to stand down, because I am a stand-up comic that wants to stand down. I don't know who you are, unfortunately. I, in order to stand down, because I am a stand-up comic who stands up by the intrinsic definition of my name, I watch Stand Down.

It will cost you a lot of money to make me stand down. I want one million dollars! See? He is a supervillain. How far are you so far? $105! Great. Great. Okay. Thank you, three people.

In two months, the transition is on. Hello there. I've been a stand-up comic for 30 years. During that time, I have brought laughter and at least short-term happiness to literally millions of people from ages 8 to 98. Nope. From all walks of life around the globe. During Gulf I, I traveled to Spain, Italy, Germany, England, Scotland, and the Far East to entertain our troops. Okay. help people get out of themselves for a while to simply feel good and to set their day to day worries aside

for a bit. I was away for my wife and three kids often too often. Anywhere from often to often. Somewhere in that range. Where is this going? I wasn't thinking about the money, and I realized

now I am thinking about the money. The enemy's comic is down! Missed too many family moments and celebrations, but that was part of the gig, and we all knew it. Never been to rehab! No, no, no.

No drug, alcohol, never been to rehab no no no no drug alcohol or gambling addictions no tats or piercings just a regular guy which sad to say is not particularly fashionable in what showbiz is today

uh huh uh huh yeah yeah showbiz these days is like it's about good-looking people. Yeah. I'm ready to get off the road and stay home with my family and hopefully grandkids soon. We recently purchased a small farm, and the money raised here will help me transition to another new, rewarding, and productive life and allow me to stay off the road, clear up debt, and populate the self-sustaining farm with ducks, chickens, goats, sheep, and alpaca. Don't fuck the alpacas.

Are they in on the act? on the act. We hope to give back by opening a free petting zoo for the kids and community and by donating food grown

on the farm to local charities and families in need. That's really good, but why am I giving you a million dollars Instead of just buying Free Petting zoo

Oh wait, you're right Free petting zoo Thanks for your consideration And thanks in advance for your generous donation And your parts in helping this Stand up Stand down generous donation in your parts in helping this stand up, stand down. So, Boots, what did you find out about this GoFundMe campaign guy?

Oh, yeah, this comedian's name is Noodles Levenstein. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's been in such things as E! True Hollywood Story, Dice Rules, and Stand-Up Comics Take a Stand, presumably before they stand down. Yep.

And that is all. That's all there is to know about Noodles Levenstein. Well, that's all you really need to know. Other than he's simply hilarious. It's true. He wears a white suit and a black shirt. See, you found one more piece of data about Noodles Levenstein.

See? You found one more piece of data about Noodle Clevenson. Kumquat, I do have to say, after that reading, I'm just going to let you know, you have a very promising future as being a lunatic who yells on a sidewalk corner. You're just finding this out? That particular voice, I feel, really sold me on it. Yeah, a good backup voice in case the guy does your nerp on No You Shut Up. Gets a cold.

Wow, that's... What? It's quite a reference. Alright. Okay, so let's see, let's see, let's see. Um... Vortex. Huh? Which of these delightful um Vortex huh

which of these delightful Kickstarter sorry GoFundMe campaigns would you like to hear about um they are super not infuriating okay so number one pay my beer and video games pay them to do what

I can't tell you number two 365 days of bacon games. Pay them to do what? I can't tell you. Number two, 365 days of bacon. Oh, man. Let's do 365 days of bacon. 365 days of bacon. Because, I mean, 12 days of Christmas is an

okay song. The 231st day of bacon. 212 bacons. 211 bacons. My heart surgeon gave to me an operation for my coronary.

55 bacon baskets. 54 bacon. 54 just bacon? No, it's 54 bacon. 54 just bacon? No, it's just bacon. Alright. Anyway. Okay.

You alright? Shut up. He's eating his bacon. Just shut up, guys. Hey, LSP. Shut up. Just shut up, guys. Hey, LSP. Shut up! As a bacon lover and bacon enthusiast, I have accepted the challenge

to complete 365. He's got awake apnea. Yeah. He's got awake apnea. Yeah. Intravenous CPAP. 365 days of bacon will do that to a man. Okay. To complete 365 days of breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and desserts centered around everyone's favorite fruit bacon.

Wheat bacon? I'm more pig than man at this point. I will be coming up with unique recipes, cooking them, photographing them, and completing a cookbook documenting the whole 365 days. I will also be documenting the whole process on my blog with occasional recipes, photographs, and videos once the process begins. I need $10,000. 365 days of bacon or until I die.

Okay, so I need $10. I would give you a hug, but I'm afraid grease would just shoot at you. Oh, you don't want to do that. Oh, that won't end well for you. You're going to need at least a couple people to give him a hug. Four years ago, a man gave me a hug.

He's still in therapy for it. He's became a part of you. If you're going to be so covered in grease, you're going to be like those bugs in Amber. Eved in Jurassic Park. Alright. Coming down to the end here.

Let's see. Yeah. Okay. Boots. down to the end here. Let's see. Yeah. Okay. Boots. I know that you are a fan of Reiki.

The voice of the spearhead and a fan of Reiki. Love it. Love Reiki. And I also know that you are a fan of Reiki. Love it. Love Reiki. And I also know that you are a fan of great titles of pitches. So tell me about your campaign here. What's it called?

Well, first of all, I'm Kerry Den Heaton. Okay. Den Heaton. Den Heaton. Yeah,aton. Den Heaton. Yeah, and I've got coaching program far right in photo.

So you're the heart with the five in it? Yep. Coaching program far right in photo. So she used a program title to say which one she was in this photo

of like six people because presumably there's only one photo of her? Look, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity when you get to get a photo of yourself next to Jackie Chan farting and she wanted to use it. Alright.

So tell me about this campaign here. Okay. For the last week since I've returned from immersion I'm not gonna elaborate on that. Nope. I've returned from immersion... I'm not going to elaborate on that. Nope. I've been spinning and going crazy with despair about my finances. Not seeing a way to have my strongest desire staying in CP.

I'm not going to explain that either. Okay. Also, that's an update. She's just been immersed in CP. Ignore what I just said. I got ahead of myself. I'm still having a hard time reading GoFundMe from when I was a different person. All right.

So tell me about your campaign, please. Yeah, I'm embarking down the rabbit hole into the magical places that the coaching and leadership program will take me. This has been a desire of mine since I learned about it. I just couldn't imagine that I could actually have it. Now I am learning to believe in myself and in my life and all that it can hold. I am choosing to

eat the muffin and drink the elixir. It's an Alice in Wonderland record. Holy shit. Holy shit. No, I'm looking at another document. Fuck this. Alright. Fuck you. Fuck you, bye. I was a Reiki master. Fuck you, Carrie.

Well, I am going to say that someone donated $10, and they wrote something in Japanese, and putting it through Google Translate, apparently the $10 was donated by Pussy You Want to Know. Just Pussy You Want to Know. I'm no longer Carrie. Yeah, no, you're not Carrie. You're Trina Brunk. I'm no longer Carrie. Yeah, no, you're not Carrie. You're Trina Brunk.

I'm Trina Brunk now. Trina Brunk. What? And I want you to walk with us on our soul path. You bet. That soul path is all one word. Sure. It's not a registered trademark yet.

Isn't that the facial hair the douchebags have? That's soul patch. All right. No, the soul path is like... The soul path goes all the way down the neck. No, no, it's just, yeah, it's a straight line that goes to your dick. It goes down the neck, and then you shave it into the chest hair, and then into the pubic hair. That's what the lice use to migrate.

It's their highway. It's like a dusty trail. Dear friends, following a lifelong dream of being able to move about the country is guided. Living simply, urged on by my unschooling kids' desire to see more of the world. This makes me feel good. Good feelings. Oh, God. This makes me feel good. Good feelings.

Oh, God. It makes me feel bad. I decided to rent my house out and move into an RV. I just wasn't trashy enough. Yeah. I'll be traveling as a guided and as invited,

bringing music and bringing soul path work to individuals, couples, and groups who want to receive sessions and learn how to use these tools to activate their own relationships and shared journey. I'm assuming these tools refers to her and her family.

I envision setting up the RV with solar power so we can be lower impact environmentally and be more flexible about where we stay. How are you going to do that? How are you going to do that? You're going to make a solar power RV? You're going to invent one? You're going to give me money and it's going to happen. Oh,

sure, because I thought that solar panels were really expensive and didn't really work with an RV. I don't know. Okay. Yeah, you're right. The boys and I will begin May 15th at an intentional community near Boonville, Missouri. Fuck. Fuck you.

Where we'll be visiting and I'll help community members there learn how to use SoulPath skills in exchange for our time there. They will then be with their dad for a while in June as I travel by air to Mexico to visit my sisters in their community and share SoulPath and music. Back in the end of Missouri to pick up the boys. And I have a singing engagement at Unity of Denver in the end of June. Still building that trip. And if you live in the Boulder slash Denver area and would like to schedule some music

or soul path work, please contact me! Just whatever I'm doing at the time. Oh, also, soul path? Give me money. Yeah, I received a very generous loan to pay for the RV, but would love your support in raising money to pay that back. Set up the solar power and build a safety cushion for our travels as we get used to this very new way of life.

For more information about the music and soul path work I do, please visit TrinaBrunck.com. So you are looking for $8,000, but you've helpfully itemized this into some things with some broken image links. So what are you going to get? What things are on your wish list? Oh, you know, just the normal things like 50 miles in the RV, 100 miles in the RV, 400 miles in the RV, 10,000 miles in the RV, solar power for the RV, RV loan payment, and a Kindle. So how much would it cost to get solar power in your RV? Oh, $800. Right.

To totally reconfigure an RV to use solar power. You just have to buy a bunch of those calculators and tape them on top. It's real simple. And what, $600? What will $600 get you? Sales tax for RVs. Don't you own it? Why are you paying

sales tax for the RV? You could just pay me for the miles. Oh, hey! She, Trina Brunk, who is a stupid cunt that I want to die. Oh, dear. We'll set up a GoFundMe page.

Maybe the bees will get her. Fuck you. So, she is a freelance graphic designer and web designer. Oh, you know what? That's such a coincidence, because so is everybody else. Maybe they know each

other. each other. Oh, God. Oh, dear. These designs are powerful. Yeah. Wow. I think she must have designed Avatar in the movie

because there's a lot of papyrus font. Okay. We could spend some more time, but she has made me really angry. Soul Path supports healing. It is gentle and powerful. Shut up. You might enjoy deepening your connection in a soulful Soul Path circle of like-minded folks.

Shut the fuck up. That's a great tongue twister. Soulful Soul Paths are out. Regardless of the format, the experience can be mind-blowing and livid-ing quickening. Quickening? Wait, so licking? You'll get de mind-blowing and limiting. Quickening. Quickening? Wait, so licking? You'll get decapitated in the process. Oh, right.

Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, how much money do I pay to get you decapitated? Can I read you the title of the recent post on my blog? Yeah. Okay. It was Into the Heart of Money. Yep.

Open. A Little Song for Valentine's Day. Angel band. And ugly. Well, it is the root of all virtue, I hear. I believe you missed Popping Bubbles Countering Mind Control. Okay, so Boots, in the Into the Heart of Money blog post, pick it up with I Saw Money Everywhere.

I saw money everywhere, spilling out of pots and pans, and under the hood of my car, and on the living room floor, interspersed with all the Legos. the living room floor, interspersed with all the Legos. Checks lovingly made out to me in gratitude for the gifts I give. I feel a big wad of it in my back pocket and open my purse, and there was more. How am I doing, I asked. Fantastic, my team

said. That's great. Cool. I like you a lot. Okay. I think it's probably time for us to open a school of witchcraft, right? I already have one. Fuck you.

Yeah, we already decided all our houses earlier. Well, I'm opening a competing school of witchcraft. You're gonna need to try to exist on the free market, motherfucker. Here we go. Can I transfer my credits? Uh, okay, so open a school of witchcraft. So here's a summary of the first 19 courses of Coven Oldenwild's school of witchcraft, which we'll be offering at archmagicalacademy.org.

Oh my god. Wow. So it's like full sale for witches? Oh, dude! Okay, ArtMagicalAcademy redirects to oldenwild with an E wild with an E dot org

which is terrific. Oh my god. Coven Oldenwild is my favorite brand of magical popcorn. A traditional Wiccan coven. Oh my god. Remember when we used to sacrifice deer under the moonlight? Coven Old and Wild, remember?

Cheapskate, why didn't you make this a duck? That'll be for a future episode. Oh my god, okay. Each has illustrated my courses, okay Each is illustrated My courses, I think Who cares Okay, so here's my courses Level 1

The Goodly Spellbook Level 2, these are the required classes Everyday Witchcraft Making All You Do Magical The Air Danes Explained Traditional Witch Guidelines Secret Witch Words Complete Oral Witch Lore you do magical. The Air Danes Explained, traditional witch guidelines. Secret Witch Words Complete, oral witch lore.

Witch Tools, how to find, make, consecrate, and use them. Rites and Rituals, ensuring that your spells work. Goddesses and Gods, working with powerful, benevolent beings. And then there's elective options, such as magical names, controlling the elements, familiar spirit, wax, wick, and flame, hypnotic trance induction.

Oh, so that's the musical genre, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, well, actually, as another musical genre, everybody's talking about pop spirit. Yeah. Pop, pop, pop spirit. And that pop spirit is called How to Be a Popular Paid Pagan Author. Well, first go on GoFundMe.

Then there's Kairomancy, How to Read Palms Like a Pro. Get that shit on Twitch. You want another elective? I got another elective. It's called It's in the Cards, How to Read Tarot Like a Pro. I'm already going to get the bee woman to read my future.

I don't need to do it myself. To the T, that's Tassiomancy. That's the tea leaf reading. Italian Straga, Working Prival Magic. Pagan Ethics, The Four Cardinal Virtues. That's an elective. Astrology, how to read birth charts. And for mine is the ecstasy of the spirit, how to sense, raise, and direct energy.

So is that for mine is the ecstasy of the spirit 101, or is that like advanced class? No, I mean, you can go deeper with it. I mean, how much, open your it. I mean, how much... Open your wallet. How much money do you have in your wallet? I have, like, a toonie from about ten years ago. Okay, I'll take those. Yeah, I'll take that.

You'll take all of my toonie and, like, a one-dollar bill that's kind of torn in half. Okay, well, bye. Just so you know, on their website, they give away a spell for free. So if you don't feel you can afford at this time to help out, you can use the spell that they're giving away for free to conjure abundance. Why don't they just use it then? Hey, did you know that the yin-yang symbol decorated ancient Roman shields that the exclamation,

holy moly, praces a magical herb? What? Holy moly. Not so much an herb. That eating certain seeds can banish an incubus and that striking a flamingo pose can stop an attacker, Cole?

Maybe for a few seconds. Is he going to do the karate kid move? The flamingo kick, yeah. Do you want to learn magic, like how to influence anyone by plating string, and how to compel a godness to get you child support? Oh, dear. Do you want to foretell the future

by tossing dried beans? I've just been tossing these dried beans for no reason. I think she means by throwing them up. See, you projectile vomit onto the wall, and then it spells out what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm sorry I'm giving this stuff away for free.

You guys should be paying me like 50 bucks a pop for this. Yeah, the only free spells are Conjuring Abundance and Identifying a Thief. Why don't we just go to Spells of Magic? They have lots of spells for free. Yeah, but those aren't the good ones. You know, you gotta really pony up for this. Like, the people on

Spells of Magic, do you think that they have pagan cloaks, like the people in this photo right here? No, they don't. So, F+, what did we learn from this somewhat frenetic episode? People want money and they don't want anything for it. It's gotten to the point where when Kickstarter first blew up, people said,

okay, so I make a project and I put put the project on there, and people can initially invest in it so I can make it. And then, of course, idiots jumped on it and said, oh, then I can ask people to give me money. For no reason. And now this has just kind of devolved into the sort of just Yahoo Answers-esque, like, just general public,

not even coherent, jump on and say, I make a thing happen, and you give money. If you do, you be worker bee. And then I have a bunch of anime videos? Just leave it up forever, because on an off chance somebody will stumble by and go, yeah, sure, whatever.

The thing that's most fascinating about this is that, I mean, prior to us going down the Indiegogo route and this route, I did not consider Kickstarter to be the bastion of responsible financial investing.

Responsible integrity. Kickstarter means integrity. Kickstarter actually started implementing rules for this shit. Good on them, I guess. The fact that these make Kickstarter seem like Goldman Sachs. Well, I mean, it's an interesting comparison. This is the stuff people use for medical procedures and stuff like that, right? I could see something like this being useful for that,

because they don't have to go through the... Yeah, right, right. The vetting process of Kickstarter. Like, I've done a couple Kickstarters. I've never done an Indiegogo, but I've done a GoFundMe, because, you know, situation, friend of mine, very sad thing happened,

you know, somebody started a thing, like, let's give her money so that she can, you know work like cool like you know yeah absolutely um and and again like these these platforms themselves are fine except for i i'm i'm annoyed i'm annoyed at the platform i'm annoyed at how like completely capricious they are with the money that they have. And let's be honest. I have given a lot of money to fake spaceships on the internet. Sure. Yeah, you have.

It's a problem. Yes. But I am very pleased and aware that they're fake spaceships on the internet. Right. The fact that you can give money to bees... Just the concept of bees, question mark. That's the thing about so many of these is, almost all of these, is none of these people have any intention of doing this.

There are parts during a big project where you need funding. That part is not the first step. I want to make a video game company, so I need money now, and then I'll start doing things. Shit, I woke up with an idea. Sometimes I wonder, what if some sort of

flash mob happens and someone shows someone who clearly has no intention of fulfilling this and just like funded it like what would they even I mean they probably just steal the money but like yeah they would just spend it on you know they just spend it on living expenses buy fake spaceships

yeah well yeah because the thing is is that like so you know everything that we've looked at in this episode has been in some way funded. And again, the GoFundMe is the same approach where you put money in and your money's gone. Your money immediately went to the source after fees. Well, the rhino hunting guy actually put money into it himself using the same account. Wait, what?

So he paid his own fees to his own... Sure! That's a perfect job of priming the pump there, buddy. I think a lot of people did, but he might be the only one to do it under his own name. He really must have tossed some dried beans in the air

and known his future. He will get some money. The website, once again, the T-H-E-F-B-L dot U-S. And we want your money, too. Give it to Ball Pit or hit the flatter button. And bye. Bye.

You're so great at outros. I know. I'm super great at ending these. Let's keep this shit in. Oh, I'm so glad that you listened. Can we start a GoFundMe campaign for outros? Oh god, the peas are coming.

Stop fucking now. I love better outros. the problem i just had in trying to search the google doc was i was unsure whether to type a k in magical