The F Plus - 188: We Still Have Questions

Episode Date: September 11, 2015

We've asked a lot of questions on this podcast, but often the answers have not been satisfactory. I'm sure that's a trend that's going to change as we visit Quora: A top-ranked question & answer aggregator with a billion dollar valuation and the slogan "The best answers to any question". So we're all feeling super confident we'll get the best answers to questions like "Can Plants Fart?", "Why Aren't There Dinosaur Ghosts?" and of course the perennial favorite "How Can I Increase My Sex Power?" This week, The F Plus is being very progressive with our fetishes.

Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more. Do-do-doodle-doodle-do-do-do-do-do-do-do! Welcome to the F Plus Podcast, an inquisitive place for questions and answers, but mostly terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Jimmy Franks. Why do I get a boner for procrastinating or putting something off when I actually know it has to be done? Hmm. Sheepskates.

Why is art boring? Jack Chick. Shortly after moving to the U.S. when I was eight years old, I peed my pants because I didn't know the word for bathroom. And lemon. First, you got to know the person, like how he treats that kundiv issue from his daily behaviors, and then you can make a judgment of whether to ignore the boner or not.

Ugh. Got enough naivety, and you got conviction, and the answer is perfect for you. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hey! So, guten tag. Do you have unanswered questions that have been niggling away at your brain like a maggot in your dick? Yeah, I've been wondering why this maggot's in my dick. Did you put it there?

I plead the fifth. Fair enough. There is a website out there that is called Quora. I think that's how it's pronounced anyway. It's Q-U-O-R-A dot com. This was actually one of the first sites that I remember did a thing where it would try to block out the text for the answers to get you to sign up. But it is another in a long F-plus series of documents of questions asked by idiots and answered by other idiots, which I think, you know, will be self-evident here.

This is from Old Zircon. I think this is Old Zircon's first doc here. And, yeah, let's get right to it. So Old Zircon here put this document into sections. And the first section is titled Dating, Socializing, and Boners. Oh, my. Yay! Yay!

So let's start out here with what does my girlfriend really mean? Jimmy Franks, if you'll take that, please. I asked my girlfriend earlier today if I've been a pain in the arse for trying to talk to her a lot. Well, more than she's interested. She replied, telling me to calm down,

stop being dramatic as she's been busy with school. She went on to not understanding why I haven't been busy. I don't stress slash take my time with college like her slash good planning. Sure, I don't sentence slash construct slash well. She went on to say, why do I always have to be the mean one? Because I want some space. I told her, I'll loose her.

That's why I try to make conversation. Okay, cool. She said, you will if you ask boring questions. Now, I got a little annoyed at that. I mean, she doesn't do much better. As we're long distance, she finished by saying, sometimes I feel we're just good friends and the boring questions only emphasize this.

Then she linked me to this thing about avoiding excessive conversation and then went to bed. I don't know what to make of this. It seems like she's saying it's my fault. Does she really not me? Does she tie me in a knot? Despite her saying she wants me, what can I do?

Cut all communication and see if that makes her happy the thing is we're pretty serious like we think when we're finally reunited in a year it could end up in a marriage down the track and then there's some answers and they are terrible and not terrible in the uh let's read this uh but just just generally terrible so instead when we're gonna move on um and uh you know we're all gentlemen here in this room. And I think that it's probably in our best interest to find out what is the general consensus, quote, most romantic thing ever, unquote, that a guy can do for a girl.

Without spending very much money. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know the classics. A note on the mirror and lipstick, a trail of rose petals leading to another surprise. But what do you all think? From holding the door open and foot massages to writing your name inside of a heart after taking skywriting courses. What? What?

Colin. skywriting courses. What? What? What do girls feel and guys think is the most heartwarming thing a female can experience from her mates, no matter how big or small? And then Jack Check.

Remember, girls feel, guys think. And then Jack Check, you are Haley Family. That's family with a PH. So that's like a fish family, maybe? Yeah, I think so. So this one received 31 upvotes, so it seems somewhat popular.

Okay. I automatically thought of flowers when I read this question. Ellipsis, ellipsis, ellipsis, ellipsis, ellipsis. But if any guy bought me flowers, I wouldn't find it romantic. Which led me to believe that there is no general consensus for romanticism. It's dependent on both parties. The most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me was oddly picking out sour cream from my food. Let me elaborate.

You have a great life. Yeah, I do. It was a Sunday and my then boyfriend was too busy watching football to even think about lunch. I remembered I had to return something at the mall, so I offered to pick up lunch for us. When I was buying the food, the restaurant accidentally put sour cream all over my food! That's the best. I absolutely despise sour cream. I was already having a bad day, so by the time I came home, I was ready to lose it.

I walked in and found him where I left him, on the couch watching football. I told him what happened, and I picked up the food, and he immediately offered to go back and get me food. I was being stubborn and said, forget it. He was trying to persuade me to sit and eat, but all I could think about was sour cream. I was so annoyed with him trying to convince me to eat that I screamed at him and ran into our bedroom crying. Is she going to realize that she's pregnant at some point? In hindsight, I know that

the crying had nothing to do with the sour cream, but really the other issues I was facing at the time. Oh my god. You sound fun. I want to date you. After I calmed down, I walked into the living room and my boyfriend begged me to sit down and eat at least a bite. So I sit and found that he picked out every grain of food that had sour cream in it.

Oh my god. Oh god. Did he do anything to address any of the other issues you were facing at the time? Fuck it, I'm just going to focus on the sour cream for today, and then I'll go to sleep. Eventually she'll go to bed and I can jerk off, fuck this. Yeah. That was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me. The fact that he put up with me because he knew the issues were deeper than

what was going on the surface. The fact that he took his time to try and make me happy in my time of weakness and vulnerability. Yeah, your time. Your one time. Your one time of fucking the sour cream disaster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I'm usually pretty balanced.

Well, they actually after, went to the trophy shop and got a little trophy to commemorate the sour cream disaster. I mean, you have to commemorate these occasions. It's just good science. The rest of this is boring. Great, cool. Hey, Cheapskates. Yes?

I got a question for you. What is the best thing to do if I get a boner while in contact with a woman in a crowded bus or metro? Should I apologize? Sorry about King Dong. Should I apologize and maybe make she feel ashamed or just act like nothing is happening until I can move out? Sorry about the boner there. I know it's a little too big for my pants. I'm an energy guy.

So it's extremely unlikely that she will notice it unless you bring it to her attention by waving it at her, rubbing it against her, or weirdly apologizing to her. Okay. Do not do any of these things. Ignore her and your boner and get off the subway at your stop. If this is a persistent problem and you are over 16, consider seeing a doctor. If you're over 16, it's cool.

Or getting a girlfriend. Or learning how to masturbate. If your boner lasts for more than 10 minutes on the bus, please see a physician. Should you consult your doctor about how to masturbate? On the bus? What is the best thing to do if to masturbate? On the bus?

What is the best thing to do if I masturbate while in contact with a woman on a crowded bus or metro? There are a lot of very, very good documents in the boner section. Yeah, there are. Really, this is a great section here.

But I think we just got to pare it down here. So this question is, how common is pure yellow fever or Asian fetish? And what is wrong with it? And why is it regarded wrong? And what are its symptoms? Is it good to claim someone has yellow fever? And Jimmy Franks, that entirely succinct title is a question you need to ask.

How common is pure yellow fever, Asian fetish, and what is wrong with it? And why is it regarded wrong and what are its symptoms? Is it good to claim someone else has yellow fever? That entire thing is the URL. www.corey.com that. Update. We do have a bit of discussion. A thing more useful than the discussion now would be for someone to give an example of how Asian fever has a tangible

impact on himself or herself or someone he she is observed slash knows. Other info discussion are still appreciated. As are more generalities. Update number two. I think this might be an issue more for Asian American people. Asians don't really care. Yes or no? And why?

What? What? Asian people don't care about their humanity being a fetish? Okay, yeah, fine. Great, cool. Okay, listen.

Listen, from answers to many questions, there is a perception that many white men in the USA have a fetish for Asian women. How common is this?

I heard rumors that Asians themselves are only into Asians. How narrow-minded. Why can't I be into Asians? Oh, okay. What the hell, dick?

Isn't such Asian stereotyping of out-group human beings much more harmful to the world than an out-grouper trying to like people across races? I don't know. Maybe I'll ask you that question. My fetish is progressive. Does yellow fever, the way it is presented, like some sexual fetish or objectification or romanticization, even exist? No rants welcome.

Yeah. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Do you need mantras to put together a document for you? Because yes. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Good. How is this any different from women liking mysterious men or outlaw bikers? Ladder theory? In ladder theory, men and women recommend to men to be more mysterious. The analog to the yellow fever situation that would be to recommend to women to be more exotic and mysterious.

But that wouldn't be socially accepted. Yeah. Yeah. How different is it to just consider an entire race of people the same as Sons of Anarchy? Yeah, men be more mysterious, women be more inscrutable.

Most answers and discussions completely ignore those people that are fine with their roles. What about Asians wanting to marry out of their country and see nothing morally wrong with it, and white guys wanting someone looking a certain way?

Oh, my God. Guys that are all white guys. What a go-boy. It's like those prostitutes that love their profession or rich people marrying attractive younger people. Some people don't see moral issues with marrying for superficial reasons, though it may or may not pan out in practice. Oh, God.

It's like those prostitutes that love their profession. Oh, my fucking God. Remember that show with the metal soprano in it? It's like that. I know of a mail order bride case that has worked out very well, with everyone happy. Everyone's happy. And a good character with no one feeling used.

Some people are stating a moral high road where there is no or little real discrimination involved in the end. If an Asian girl doesn't want to talk to a white guy, they'll work it out. And if not, it's a problem with him or her that exists outside of the yellow fever phenomenon are we done with that question because i feel really more of a manifesto than a question sure is it sure is and and the weirdly like if you go through the cora answers here like people really spent quite a bit of time like trying to. I mean, really, like more so than most other sites we've read.

They spend a lot of time trying to like dissuade this guy and talking about how gross he is. No, it's fucking. Hey, how do couples manage to fart when they stay living together? My partner and I have two dogs. They get blamed for a lot of farts. Beyond that, though, about a year or so into our relationship, my partner and I were having an argument. At some point during the argument,

he got focused on being extremely frustrated over how reserved I am. He felt rarely ever showing emotion. Felt rarely ever showing emotion meant I must rarely ever feel emotion. My never losing my temper or getting visibly angry, sad, ecstatic, or any such thing meant to him that I must never feel any of those emotions and thus must not be emotionally invested in the relationship. He felt I was too restrained and not opening up. He felt I was detached and not willing to be completely open and relaxed around him.

Admittedly, I've always been a bit reserved, but was not aware it was causing my partner so much frustration. You still go into the bathroom to change. You still have a hard time holding hands in public, he complained. For fuck's sake, he finally yelled. We've been together for over a year, and you won't even fart around me!

Like I'm a stranger, someone you just met. You can't be yourself around. He regrets ever having said that. As I've happily passed gas around him whenever since. And whenever he complains, I just smile and wink and I say, it means I love you. Jack Check, you are Paul Reiber.

You are in Unix and Linux customer service. Yeah, I am. So relationships eventually have to pass the fart barrier. Usually that'll be some time before living together even starts. Unless you're particularly in a hurry to have someone help pay the rent. A guy trying to be a gentleman should endeavor to not be the first one to burst past that barrier, so to speak. Yeah, the fart barrier, yep.

Yeah, the fart barrier. When she does, eventually, however, because hetero relationships are the only ones that exist, excepting, of course, the first response. Anyways. And does the obligatory looking embarrassed thing. It's important

he be ready with a great phrase that will help dissipate the situation. Okay. My favorite phrase for this, which my wife to this day repeats to me at least once a month is, all farts are funny. I mean, no.

Nope. Nope. Also always funny, saying all farts are funny every time. You're right. Cheapskate, you... That's so bad. Cheapskate, you have a question for us. Oh, and this is

a question that is near and dear to my heart, as I spend a lot of time on airplanes these days. Oh, is there a way to make your air travel any better? There is. Step one is not flying United. Step two, how do I optimize my airplane seat selection for probability of being seated next to a hot chick? of being seated next to a hot chick. My weekend seminar is only $4,000.

Whenever I am choosing an airplane seat online and see a picture like this, this being the picture that they show you when you're booking a ticket and you have a choice of where you're going to sit, I ask myself, if I were a hot chick, which seat would I sit next to? Okay. Can there possibly be a better solution to the problem

of how to sit next to a hot chick than trying to put myself in the mind of a hot chick? So, yeah, so presumably, like, oh, God. So you're looking at the seating chart, and then you're putting together... Fuck, okay, okay, we gotta get this answered. We gotta get this answered. Jimmy Franks, you're anonymous.

Take a middle seat. You're then sitting next to two people rather than one. Odds go up. With an aisle seat, one could argue conversations are possible with the person on the other side, but in my experience, that's much less likely, but clearly the worst choice would be the window seat. Thinking more about this, you're also less likely to sit next to a couple since you're dividing that three-seat section in half,

so the odds of that person being single go up, too. You could also try to convince the airline to change their graphic. Yeah, so literally like, let's convince the airline to put big titties on the airline seating chart. Oh, it is. I didn't see that. Yeah, yeah.

They get the big titty graphic. That might be the image for the episode. Hey, so I'm Caroline Zalonka, and I pay attention. This is the same idea as a non-users, but more foolproof. Step one. All right, you guys ready for this? Absolutely. All right, step one.

Buy two adjacent seats in first class. Sure, that's like $1,200. Yep. It'd be cheaper just to get a couple of prostitutes at that point. Yeah, but then you might have to actually interact with them instead of staring at them longingly and that's just what they'd be hiding.

Observe as coach class passengers board watching out for wedding rings and age appropriateness because you'll have better luck with a hot older chick than a young one, especially if you are older yourself. Come on. All right. You don't want the potential creepiness factor to thwart your plans.

I'm so glad Cougar Town got canceled. At least one of us is. So forlorn. Three. Identify two or three prospects. Four, after the plane has taken off, casually stroll down Coach Isle until you see your first prospect or alternately your most desired one.

Approach prospect and using all your charm and sincerity. Yeah, all of it, all of it. A hundred and two percent. Explain that your mother slash grandma slash aunt couldn't make the flight and that you wouldn't want her first class seat to go to waste. Ask her to join you for a drink or meal, not the full flight. This is important.

Shit. Act modest and self-effacing to avoid the deadly creepiness factor mentioned in step two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nip that problem in the bud. If she rejects your offer, move on to prospects to improve. I'm so sorry, madam.

So would you like to ride this dick? If they also reject you, you will have to lower your standards. Look for the people who had to buy two seats. Repeat until you're successful. Once you have lured said woman into your spare seat, engage her in conversation.

Lay on the charm. Treat it like first date. With any luck, she will stick around for the full flight. And then what? With any luck. Yeah. This is very similar to the circumstances in which my parents met. Except for the second seat was empty and my mom was an off-duty airline employee.

So they let her sit in first class. Normally they would make you go to the back of the coach seat. And they already sort of knew each other because my dad traveled a lot and my mom often worked flights he was on. They've been married for 45 years now. Yeah, that's the same story. I mean, that's exactly the same story. Yeah. Minor differences. Literally the same same story. I mean, that's exactly the same story. Yeah. Minor differences.

Literally the same exact story. This does give me a great idea for a fucking TV show where you have a dude where that's his goal and they film it. Hey, my mom just died and I used to have an extra seat. You want to sit in first class with me for a drink? It's a spinoff of Finding Bigfoot called Finding Pussy. I have a question for you, Cheapskates.

It's pretty direct and to the point. Sex health. I want to know what is the effects of MasterBot? I want to know what is the effects of MasterBowtion on our body and how to stop it at all!

MasterBowtion is when you're masturbating at the Bauhaus. You didn't even include the double ellipsis. That's aating at the Bauhaus. You didn't even include the double of lips. That's a waste of a Bauhaus. Bella Lugosi's gist. Bella Lugosi's gist. That's right, I said Bella Lugosi's gist. All right, all right, all Yeah. Alright, alright, alright.

So, number one. If you are handsome and with good personality, stop it now! As it will rob the sheen from your face. Excessive MB is the reason for that. What? What? How fully sheened

is your face looking these days, Jack Jack? Is it very sheen? Is it like a semi-gloss? I mean, it's like Charlie Sheen. Ooh, I'm sorry. Me too. Number two. Doing it occasionally is not a problem,

but doing it every day is not required. I mean, agreed, I guess? but doing it every day is not required. I mean, agreed, I guess? In a week, two times is not an issue. Number four. When you want to do that, get out of the bed and go out and have a smoke

or talk to someone. Smoking much healthier than masturbation. Yeah, it is. Okay, sure. Yeah. Number five. When you want it, start thinking about your office.

Not office. That makes me so much hotter. Yeah. Just thinking of my cube oh I got two monitors set up one's at a 90 degree angle so I can code more I don't think I

I don't think I put the dishes back in the dishwasher so I'm gonna have to do that on Monday is it my turn to buy coffee or is it Kathy's number six try not to see the penis whenever you change your dress Is it my turn to buy coffee or is it Kathy's? Number six. Try not to see the penis whenever you change your dress or when you went to toilet. That seems hard.

What? Not if you're fat enough. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen my penis in years. Step seven, get fatter. Number seven. Read Bible or Rameon, etc. When you start getting the thought of

that. Great. My name's Madison Hankey. That's my quest, Khan. You stole it, you motherfucker. Jack Chick, I have a question for you. Are there any benefits to licking girls' pussy?

Nope. Answer. Next question, please. Oh, wait. Unless Anonymous has an answer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The benefit of having them reciprocate after smiley face with a winky fuck that

yep yeah oh should I be reading the first so they're both anonymous yes yes yes oh sorry okay

yes of course there are a lot although it might be smelling at first, you will enjoy it when you're used to it. Actually, the juice comes out from the pussy is really nice and tasty, as well as stimulate one's sex desire up to top. It makes your penetration smooth and feeling great.

Oh, yeah! The girls can get to Climax in much shorter time, so they feel good and they will pay additional benefits to you. Okay. For example, they will invite you more frequently to hang out and more. What? The girls will become really addicted to you and love you more and more. What?

What? Okay. I feel like Annabelle never calls me over. Would you lick her pussy? No, I didn't think about that. We just had coffee. You see, the first step is to get the woman addicted to having her pussy licked. Second step, video games. Oh, yeah.

I have a follow-up question. I'm hoping that Clerps Jongsnack will have an answer for me. Yeah, so Clerps Jongsnack, why does people enjoy licking each other's ass, Rimjob?

Is it something new? What's the wrong website? Is that normal? Even though you didn't go to isitnormal.com, I'm ClerpsJogsNack, and I'm going to field this question for you. Thank you. I get that's a real name, but it's so fucking fucking funny to me a colleague told me she pissed on her lover i asked her why this is a bit of a departure from your question but great i shot an arrow in the air it fell to earth i asked her why she said she is not really into it, but it is

a very intimate thing to do. I guess the same goes for the rim job. That's true. I see. The anus is also very sensitive, so I assume it gives both physical and psychological pleasure.

You know what happens when you assume you give a rim job to you and me. Ugh. A shared rim job is really best. I assume people have been rimming since the dawn of time, but the stronger the taboo in a culture about poop

and the anus, the less likely a person will do it or enjoy it. Nowadays in the West, fetishes are pretty accepted, and extreme porn is very accessible. So more people give it a try than before. Yeah, totally. Thanks, pornography!

Hey, have I told you guys about my new app? It's like the Uber for rim jobs. I'm going to shut your business down! So once again, old Zircon put this thing together. And again, it's in sections. So there was a section called Dating, Socializing, and Boners. There was a section called all-purpose sexuality section,

and there's a section that we're on now called health and anatomy and boners. So here's my question for you, Cora. Why do my balls itch? Jack Chick, does David Schroeder have an answer? Get used to it! And then, Cheapskate, you are Juan Hauser.

Okay. I'm sorry, Juan Hart Houter. I think every male has this problem. Quite recently, I got the idea that the itch that I was experiencing might have come from my hair's growing back after shaving, but

I also felt this itch after I had sex and did not ejaculate. I always noticed the roots of my hair are buried rather deep in the skin, and I got the idea to pull the hairs just a little bit, not hurting myself. So it remained in my skin but was not buried so deep. I started experimenting on a few hairs, and noticed my skin suddenly felt much smoother and less prone to irritation. I now did my

complete balls, and the itch I was referring to now is one-tenth of what it used to be. I'm very glad I did it, and recommend it to all men. But I don't take any responsibility, smiley face. I don't take any responsibility. Smiley face.

I didn't invent ball shaving. I don't always shave my bones. You just perfected it. Most interesting ball shaver. Hey, there's a gross diagram on this, but I have a question. How do I make my anus tighter?'s a gross diagram on this, but I have a question. How do I make my anus tighter? With a gross diagram.

Uh, that is gross. Oh, God, you weren't kidding. I'm going to scroll down a little bit. Okay, here we go. I've had sex with men that have large penises. My current partner has complained that my anus is loose. Other partners have complained about this very thing. Is there anything I can do to make it tighter? I want him to have the best sex possible,

but if I'm all loose, I don't see how this could happen. So that's, I have so many questions. I have so many questions about this asker, but I'm assuming you're female. Whatever. All right.

Jimmy Franks, George Andreas. This is George Andreas. I'm a nipple coach and a pump coach. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, you can do something. Yes. Benita Cantonelli is the authority in this area.

It can help men as well, by the way. There's a book in German. I don't know if it's available in English. There's a link to Amazon. Yeah. What? All right, I got to go do some nipple coaching. I'm out of here.

I'll see you later. The picture here, for those of you not looking at it, appears to depict a woman sitting on a school in a local community center. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true. She's being possibly nipple-coached or pump-coached by an older woman. No, no. You know, Fridays we do a hot yoga class,

and then Saturdays we tighten our buttholes. Okay, so, Jack Chick, can you get an erection in space? Yes, of course. In fact, just as the height increases in space and the eyeballs bulge out, I've heard that erections are larger, harder, and meatier in space. What the? Only problem, you don't get women in space. Hope this helps.

What? What? Yep. No women in space. But there have been women in space. No, they're not allowed. It's against the law. Their breasts get in the way of the equipment.

Anyway, do we somehow smell gravity? We, by the way, have left the boner section. We are in the miscellaneous section. In case you were confused. I expect we probably do smell gravity. When we oppose it, our information universe has proven itself to use most every communications path conceivable. The physical turns out to be memetic by nature. Gravity is an easel cavity exhibits differences between what is sensed at the top and bottom.

This is like a Macho Man Randy Savage promo. Gravity in the nasal cavity exhibits differences between what's sensed at the top and bottom to a brain trained only by differences. If the difference were to be significant to our survival in any convoluted manner, then it would affect our behavior and possibly be noticeable consciously. Since gravity affects the whole body,

it's sense of gravity in the nose is likely redundant and not worth noticing. However, the sensitivity or delay it exhibits could be significantly unique to make it relevant for all we know. By the equivalence principle, we cannot distinguish gravity from acceleration. So what we would sense is acceleration, not necessarily gravity. Gravity just happens to have the same effect. In free fall, it is unlikely that gravity can be sensed in any manner, including smell.

So I'll see you, Ultimate Warrior, at SummerSlam. I like this In free fall there's no way you can tell that gravity Is acting on you Oh wait why am I screaming Everything's fine He appears to have changed his position On this issue while writing

His paragraphs So hey Jim Whitescarver Could a new world order be a good thing? Oh, yeah. The old world order is a bad thing and a new centralized world order would be like going from the frying pan into the fire.

The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men. We've come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the civilized world No longer a government by free opinion No longer a government by conviction And the vote of the majority

But a government by the opinion and duress Of a small group of dominant men Said Woodrow Wilson What? Yeah Yep It's his most famous quote Three Felix Frankfurter justices of the Supreme Court from 39 to 62,

said the real rulers in Washington are invisible and exercise power from behind the scenes. Let me drop some more historical quotes on you. Whoever controls the volume of money in any country is the absolute master of all industry and commerce, said President Garfield. And William Jennings Bryan said money denounces, money power denounces its public enemies. All who question its methods or throw a light upon its crimes.

Look, if I'm crazy, so is all these people I just quoted. In order to evolve and thrive, humanity must think globally and be free to act locally. Preserving diversity and denying central control. Any centralized authority can and ultimately will be controlled by the powerful at the expense of individual freedom and thus human potential. Oh, yeah. But there is a notion of a new world order that is decentralized down to the individual, which should embrace it will free us from the powers that be. Achieving at last the American dream, allowing humanity to thrive, heralding the end of the wage slavery and consumerism, which we train. What?

Did you have a question? I don't know. How does the new world order like upturn the whole wage slave idea? Man, I don't know. How does the New World Order, like, upturn the whole wage slave idea? Man, I don't know. Oh, okay. Heralding the edge of the wage slavery and consumerism, which we've been trained. Look, man, I'm just on a roll right now, right? You sure are.

Yeah, you're just making sense after sense after sense. Yeah. Words mean things, man. Yeah, you're just making sense after sense after sense. Yeah, I'm just putting words, mean things, man, heralding the end of wage slavery and consumerism, which we've been trained like chickens by the powerful to relish, ignorant to the fact that we are really little better off than serfs or slaves of the past.

And Coco, beware, I will see you at WrestleMania. So this is actually probably the first time that I've ever read the words of a man on the internet that was super in favor of the New World Order This guy hates the old World Order It's a bad thing If the New World Order is bad, then a New World Order must be a good thing, right? Yeah, I mean

The world's black and white I guess you can quit your job if you get the New World Order. That seems better. I just really fucking love how the question itself is totally bonkers, and then all of the answers are extra bonkers. Well, you assume that Jim White's Carver there, every day he gets up, makes himself a cup of coffee, and then he just goes on to Cora and then just goes,

all right, here we go. Gravity. Okay, here we go. Well, you know, as an information physicist wannabe, I feel like my expertise is, you know, varied and covers a wide spectrum of subjects. So now my very favorite part of any question and answer episode that we do, and that is the topics that we didn't have time for.

So, Jimmy Franks, if you'll start us off, please. Are some farts hotter than others? If so, do hot farts smell more than regular farts? Wait, which version? I'm sorry. This is a multi-part question. Multi-part question. Are some farts hotter than others?

If so, do hot farts smell more than regular farts? And if so, why? So you mean temperature hot? Or do you mean like sexiness hot? Or like these beets are so hot, and then I'm farting. This fart is too hot. This fart is too cold. This fart is just right.

You're laying down the hot farts. I discovered how human consciousness works. It's not a joke. What should I do next? Inform Jim White's cover. Oh, yeah. I could just make a website and then submit it to theagfbl.us. Can plants fart scientifically?

No, they fart religiously. When I sit on the toilet to defecate, my anus sticks out approximately the size of my fist or larger. Oh, my God. Is that normal? No. Oh, it isn't? Guys, I got to go. Yeah, no, you really do.

Quit this podcast. Go to the doctor immediately. Listeners, please call 911. What are Estonian boner pills how come they work so well is it safe to eat bird poop sure I mean sure that's pretty safe yes

it's white it's fine what is the best way for men to enlarge their nipples does nipple pumping for men really work? A couple backup questions. How do I ask girls that I want to lick their pussy? They will agree or not. What will be their reaction? I hope a woman can answer that.

Is it weird that I finger my ass every time I take a poop? Yeah. I feel like this ties into the previous question. Is it weird that I elbow my ass every time I take a poop? Could there be some sort of identifier in each person's consciousness allowing scientists to revive dead souls by tuning into some frequency of some physical or spiritual medium? Oh, and the classic. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yep. Who could forget? How do I increase my sex power? Yay! Yay! That is my favorite feature

in Rigger's Digest. Improve your sex power in 20 minutes. How did Neil Armstrong manage to poop on the moon? How did his poop reach the surface of the moon? What?

Get back here! You get back here! You get back here! There's the flag, you know, that's like... And then right next to it is a little pile of Neil Armstrong's poop. Well, it's a little known fact that Neil Armstrong actually pooped on the moon and then proceeded to spike it like a football and did the icky shuffle. This is one small poop for man. One giant poop for mankind. What causes people to not feel disgusted with each other

after seeing each other naked? Oh, my God. Wow. Just different life experiences in general. And why don't atheists follow the Bible? I mean, plenty of them do. I'm really terrified about what I'm going to get to read. All right, Cheapskate, what do you got?

Why do girls have to make eye contact with me? They're trying to get you to stop strangling them. Do I need a jungle gym and ball pit in my startup office? Are you in San Francisco or Portland? Are you a professional child molester? It doesn't matter.

I don't even understand. They're looking at offices that don't come with those? What kind of fucking savages are they? You know, I went to a startup office the other week, and there was one foosball table? Like, what the fuck? You can only fit two people on a foosball table. Four, actually.

That's for doubles. What does Bjork smell like? Swans. I'm going to say even money on stale Cheetos. Really? I'm going to say like Raekwon. Like Raekwon? I would assume that she would taste like fish,

right? Because like Iceland? Iceland? Yeah. I mean, are you saying the Wu-Tang Clan isn't in Iceland? We have no way of knowing that. Okay. Does having an erection affect a migraine? It depends on where you put it.

Oh! Hey! I think it could. I think it actually could, right? Migraine's blood flow, right? Maybe? Victor! Yeah, paging Mr. Laszlo.

Is it possible to hypnotize someone without them knowing it? I'm asking for a friend. Yeah. Why is consciousness as defined by Eckhart Tolle not taught in school? Ooh, ding. That should be right at the top of Common Core. Yeah. Is it morally wrong to pee in the sink?

You know, I'm actually going yes. I'm going yes, it is. It is morally wrong. Morally wrong. You know, I'm going to go with no, and we're just going to disagree on this. Well, it depends on which sink. Are you talking about the kitchen sink or the... I mean, laundry room sink is fucking fair game.

Who gives a shit? I feel like, yeah, we need to be a little more granular before we start judging. Hotel sink, obviously. No problem. Yeah, I'll shit in that thing. Just leave it. Why do people who can't afford kids make babies?

Alcohol. And if you can't have a baby, then don't have a baby. Do babies pee inside the womb? And if so, where does it go? I wondered this myself. The umbilical system certainly doesn't exist.

Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! That's a fucking... That's when you gotta kind of back up. Yeah, we've gotta get our

best paleo-parapsychologist. Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts? Three Dianetics. Why are people fascinated by porn even after they've had and do have the privilege of having sexual intimacy with someone they're attracted to?

Boy, yeah, okay, yep. I know what your life's like. Yeah. Can a man be a good feminist even if he is extremely horny and crude? No. No. Ass. Only during a full moon.

Feminists aren't allowed to have sex. That's part of the thing. Yeah. I always want to lick my girlfriend's pussy, but she gets wet very quickly, and after that, liquid comes from her vagina. Because of this, her pussy smells bad and has a salty taste.

What should I do? Examine the whole I always want to lick my girlfriend's pussy statement that you made at the beginning. Yeah. Okay, I want to lick someone's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a definite disconnect

happening here. Just ram a strawberry shortcake up there before you start. Would a more nudist society make sexual intimacy less valuable? I mean, it'd be more gross. Yeah.

My new girlfriend invites me to share a bath, but I keep getting an erection in there. Is that an issue? I mean, if that's a problem with you and your girlfriend bathing together and you have an erection, then yes, there are issues in your relationship. I can't ask her about these things.

Yeah. Well, the internet's a better source than she is. Would you like to take a bath with... Oh, God! What is that?! Religion. Do Christians believe Maslow's hierarchy of needs is accurate, and why? The fuck is

Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Oh, God, no! it shows up all the time Self-actualization Yeah And finally Do vampires poop? Good The answer to this is no

because my vampire headmate Franz is triggered by mentions of poop And Anonymous, by the way, answers your question. I haven't seen that mentioned in any vampire canon. Sorry, sorry, holy shit. I haven't seen that mentioned in any vampire canon. I would guess that vampires, if real,

would simply convert any nourishment to energy, assuming that they're only consuming blood. Eh? Yeah. Yeah. Eh? Yeah. Uh, yeah, okay. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, what do you got, Jack-Jack? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, uh, my sister's boyfriend keeps hitting on me. Last weekend when my sister was out of the room, he pulled out his erection to show me. Does this mean he wants me to leave my sister to be with me? Well, he wants to leave my sister to be with me, but no, no, that's not what it means. Oh, okay. Why did dinosaurs exist?

Do French people hug at all? Why is it that a girlfriend does not appear in Maslow's Pyramid of Need? It does. Sex is in there. During the course of nightfall, does the penis undergo erection?

I was working in the lab. We'll take the... I don't know. That wasn't really a joke. Edit point. No. No. No.

Hey, Jimmy Franks? Yeah? Will technology ever make Pokemon possible in real life? So, like, Island of Dr. Moreau type of technology? If a human ate poop, what would actually happen?

You would lose a lot of friends do you get a boner when you're in a coma a coma boner maybe i mean maybe i don't know i i i think i am in love with my wife's younger sister and we have had sex multiple times how do I divorce my wife and marry again into the same family with another member without things getting ugly? Without things getting ugly, okay. Yeah, uh-huh, yeah. Listen, his name is Maury Povich. He's going to fix everything in your relationship. Yeah, he is.

Is there any song that is more completely 100% about having a boner than Too Close by Next? Hard Candy Cock. Nope, nope. That is scientifically quantifiably proven to be true, that Too Close by Next. That's actually not true because you're forgetting about Detachable Penis by King Missile.

That's not about a boner at all. That's just about a penis that detaches. I would say that Pony by Genuine is really all about a boner. You're making it hard on me. Pour some sugar on me is pretty much all about a boner. No, but it's not 100% about having a boner. Okay, okay, fair enough. Why is life full of shit?

Slipknot! Should high IQ people be required to do medical research instead of math and physics? What is the purpose of nipple boners? To make good hentai. Tonight on Nova. What is the purpose of nipple boners?

Californication TV series. Basically, my question is, would Hank let a woman lick her tongue his anus? I'm truly stumped. I mean, is Hank the... Is it okay for girls when guys hug them and their crotch touches them? Is this okay for you? guys hug them and their crotch touches them? Is this okay for you? Yeah, do you mind? Should humans wipe out all carnivorous animals

so the succeeding generations of herbivores can live in peace? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's... Wow, there's a lot you don't understand. Is Pokemon really different from morally different from cockfighting oh wait the whole fictious the fiction part of it

how can I stop being such a useless piece of shit stop posting on Quora I've stopped listening to Slipknot now I'm listening to Elliot Smith do women really have an extra hole near the vagina other than the anus? Okay, Cheapskate, I have one more question for you. Where can I find horny girls?

Tinder, idiot. Let me Google that for you. You can find them at Balls! What's the website for that? TheAlob.it Register today. I have a couple more here. So why shouldn't the smarter, more powerful,

and more productive portion of humanity call the rest? We're going to divide humanity into two camps, Reddit and not Reddit. I won't tell you which is which. If someone got a boner from watching me sleep, what does that mean? Hey, why is racism frowned upon? How can I be as great as Bill Gates Steve Jobs Elon Musk Richard Branson all of them I fell asleep on a road trip and when I woke up he was hunched over with his elbows on his knees

do you think he was watching me sleep and then was trying to hide a boner? I can't imagine what keyword old Zircon searched for here. Well, now, it depends on which seat she was in because if she was driving, he may have been bracing for impact. Remember, he just said he here

and the last guy we mentioned was Richard Branson. What a great erection. Is it possible to enumerate smell? It depends on if it was a hot, cold, or regular fart. Do gals like the penis to be rubbed? Wow. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, here's how sex works.

Do gals like the penis to be rubbed inside the vagina or outside on the clitoris? Like you're coloring it with a magic marker? Yeah. Okay, we got the clitoris done. Now moving on to the inside of the vagina.

Is this good for you? We're just going to put a happy little tree over here. Okay. Why can't we say Africans are stupid, yet they... Jesus Christ. Why can't we say Africans are stupid, yet we can say they are better at sports

slash have a longer penis if they are black? Race relations in Oklahoma. All Africans are stupid, but only the black ones have bigger penises. Why, after college age, no erection for hot girls in a bus or a mall, though an erection

was common for boys in their teens? That was my question. All of that. Yeah. You say that like it's a bad thing. Do lions understand the difference between good and evil? You mean like the Lions Club?

They have no sense of morality at all. Well, I mean, they do make blind people make light bulbs, so I don't know if that's good or evil. You're charging me how much for a roll of mints? Fuck you, you immoral bastard! If you smell marijuana being smoked by a neighbor in their backyard, should you notify the police? You absolutely should here because they legalized it

Hey Cora, how can I be the biggest bummer in the world? Why does my boyfriend always ask for sex twice a day? Sometimes thrice And why does he like me to finger his anus? Is that normal? What do you do if you're 24 and have wasted a lot of time?

That's a unique case. Yes. Yes. Hey, I'm 24 and I feel like I'm wasting my life. What do you do if you're watching 24 and have wasted a lot of time? What do you do if you're watching 24 and have wasted a lot of time? Do scientists, specifically physicists, outside the U.S. know that the world is quantum mechanical,

or are they still stuck in the dark ages with classical conceptions of the universe? Oh, sick burn, bro. Yeah. Where did I get my information? Like, if I'm smarter than just scientists... Well, specifically physicists. Okay. And then finally,

is it acceptable to punch your partner when you are angry and profusely apologize after? Oh, hell yeah, brother. The fuck, baby? I said I was sorry. When Halloween comes around. The night on the F+, the mega powers explode.

Hey, F+, what did we learn from this? That it doesn't matter if you put your site behind some sort of wall idiots will still flock to it and post stupid shit because I mean I've actually read a lot about

Quora in like tech blogs and what not and they're talking about are they a San Francisco company? are they a San Francisco company? yeah I'm pretty sure i assume so or you know a website on view all right yeah so you know but like like you read a lot about them and it's all talking about how it's you know this new dynamic way to ensure that accurate information is bubbled to the top and it really cuts down a lot of noise of sites like Yahoo Answers and stuff like that.

Wait, by what rationale do they claim that? Are they saying that, like, upvotes are going to, like, mean trueness happen somehow? It works on Reddit, right? Yeah! Mm-hmm. Is that genuinely a claim that they make? Yeah, it's like, you know, because, I mean, I guess because there were a number of evangelists who adopted it really early.

So it's generally like, you know, considered the sort of high reputation Yahoo answers. Wow. And so looking looking through this is fucking, you know, because I basically like I looked at it a couple of times and said, oh, I need to sign up. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. But this is super educational for me that it's essentially Yahoo Answers, but the startup version. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely, I mean, this site, just in general, like if you kind of click randomly, is less stupid than some of the other Q&A sites.

I mean, to be fair, it's less stupid. But again, that's a very high bar to get to. But what this site isn't is not stupid. Because I remember there was a point where if you're looking for kind of like tech help, there's a point where you'll either end up on Stack Overflow or you'll end up on Quora. And Stack Overflow is good and helpful, and Quora is stupid and not helpful at all. Quora is the place you go to find out if you can rate your farts. Yeah, exactly.

And so there was a point when I needed to Google a lot more for tech answers, and I just told Google, like, okay, just never show me Quora. This is not helping. I would just like to block that. And so I haven't seen the site in years because it doesn't show up in my Google results anymore. So it's interesting checking in with it and seeing how they're doing. I'm sure you're quite impressed. Pretty nice.

I've learned that boners are mysterious. They really are. There are so many questions about boners. Yeah. I learned that apparently the guy who designed the world's first web browser is completely fucking bonkers. I would assume so. I mean, that seems like a hard job. Yeah, that's Jim Whitescarver.

Oh, really? Yeah, look at his resume. Oh, my God. Like he's one of the guys who developed like email. Fuck. Wow. I've been working. Hey, fellas, listen.

I've been working on this idea for electronic mail. I've heard Tim Berners-Lee is a little bit crazy. Anyway, the website is always thefpl.us and you can always sign up to Ball Pit. And the other thing you should do, the other thing you should do if you've got friends and you've got liquor and you want to have some fun

before fucking them, you should play The Wrongest Words. Oh, before fucking them. You're going to be too tired afterwards. You're not going to be able to make a good claim the wrongest words www.wrongest.website all the information you need

and we're the fuck out of here bye peace later I got it from the toilet seat I got it from the toilet seat It's your fight or die