The F Plus - 189: Paranormal Stupidity

Episode Date: September 15, 2015

It's time for some spooky ghost stories! The website my-paranormal-experience.com is one man's mission to document other people's experiences with ghosts, psychics and other paranormal hullabaloo. This is all presented as fact, because why wouldn't it be? Learn about supernatural experiences that are completely unexplainable by any scientific rationale, like Netflix getting turned off or someone being angry. This week, The F Plus is... Steve? PS: Chris Collision apologizes in advance for his audio. He'll sound better at F Plus Live: A Two Day Event!

Hello, my name is Osama Bin Laden. Now don't hang up. I have some exciting information for you. Welcome to the F Plus podcast, a spooky, spooky, spooky place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. The mystery of the Nintendo puzzle completed whilst we slept. Frank West. A face with sad eyes appeared on my TV. From LeftHeadedRadio.com and The Sequel Machine, which you should totally listen to, it's Adam Bozarth. The light went on, off, on, off, on, off, on, off, on.

I said the first thing that came to my mind. Vince! From I Don't Even Own a Television at IDon'tEvenOwnATelevision.com, it's Chris Collision. A strange sink incident in the old hospital bathroom. And Lemon. I am denied any supernatural experience. I even challenge Satan himself to just manifest or give me a sign, and I give him my soul.

Nothing. I envy you all. By the end of this, you'll envy the dead. Cursed to live in reality. the dead. Cursed to live in reality. Cursed to mocking in a wet site. Will I never get my own bullshit?

Oh, wonderful. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Would you, in this podcast, like to go on a journey of discovery? You've asked that a lot of times, and every time we've discovered a lot of stupid things. It's always brought us great places. I want to discover a lot of stupid things. Stupid things always brought us great places. I want to discover a lot of stupid things.

Stupid things. Now, what do you mean by stupid things? Oh, any sort of stupid thing? Should I be expecting a specific kind? So I'm looking here at the hopper, and I see 58 different documents, some of which are from 2012, and sorry. documents, some of which are from 2012, and sorry. But I don't necessarily know that I have any stupid things for you.

What I do have is paranormal experiences, which are, it's a place to share your paranormal ghost stories, psychic and spiritual experience. Does that seem stupid to you? Seems spooky to me. Okay. Kind of highbrow, I don't know. I mean, I don't go in for the intellectual stuff. Well, today we're going to be visiting my-paranormal-experience.com

It's a site with My Paranormal Experience Fuck! My it's a site with my paranormal experience fuck my underscore paranormal underscore experience fuck fuck you go daddy could have taken.ru anyway my paranormal experience

is not updated that frequently I guess because the last post is from July 12th of 2014. But we're going to be learning about actual, real, factual, sourced, from the mouth of babes, stories about paranormal experiences. And I think we're going to learn a lot. So let's start out with Adam. Adam, you have a story you wanted to share about your grandpa.

Is that right? I have a question. Oh, what, what is your question? Did I communicate with my grandpa through Netflix? From Michaela. No. No. Nope.

You didn't. Your grandpa costs seven bucks a month? My grandpa is a copy of Multiplicity. Well, that's why I've never seen your grandpa. Your grandpa's queue is getting a little stale now that you just stream all the time. My story. I was laying in bed

watching Netflix. I had been watching Long Island Medium earlier and she talked about her journey opening up to spirits. In my head I thought about whether I could be open to

this ever. I was considering clearing my mind sometime and trying to communicate with my grandpa, who passed five months ago. So you wanted to. So you were watching Long Item Medium

and then you were like, okay. As I lay it in my bed, So you wanted to. So you were watching Long Item Medium, and then you were like, okay. Good. Yep. Okay. As I lay it in my bed. Why is that such a hard word? And kind of jokingly told my grandpa that if 1M came and I was still watching to shut it off. A little while later, my screen just went black.

I've had Netflix fail many times and ways, but never like this. Where it just went black? Yes. Okay. I mean, not to get too tactical, but the code base is updated thousands of times a day. So whatever. No, it's fine. It's Ghost.

Ghost. Ghost. Updated by Ghost. Ghost, ghost. Updated by ghost. I smiled at the coincidence, closed my laptop screen, and rolled over to go to sleep.

Quickly I noted up. No. Quickly I looked up to see the time. 1 a.m. Ock. Strange coincidence. Ha ha. Right? I thought I had flash. Unam. Occ. Strange coincidence. Haha. Right?

I thought I had flash. I had a thought flash across my mind about how much my grandpa loved dogs. Okay. This story's getting more believable the further you get. That's definitely ghost shit right there. Nobody would ever think that. That's some kind of paranormal intervention. Ooh, I like dogs! It was just when Netflix started playing Dogs 101.

It was his love of dogs that led to his ironic death. He should have been watching Air Bud on Netflix, Ben. He died watching Air Bud on Netflix. I have a nine-month-old golden retriever who never ever barks except for one quick warning bark if she gets scared. Right then in the dark on the floor, she started barking this fearful, eye-pitched series of scream-like barks. I wasn't even thinking.

I was so shocked and scared and ran to flip off the lights. He was standing scared in the middle of the room. Winning? Winning. He was winning. In the middle of the room winning. Who knows what happened, but I have never experienced or felt any way close to this experience. And my dog had never done anything like that before or since.

This is so, okay, let's walk this back for just a second. Okay, so she's walking, watching Long Island Medium. And then she's like, I want to communicate with my dead grandfather. And then she doesn't. And then she's like, oh, but in a way I did, right? Is that what happened? I think she was saying that she was thinking about her grandfather and said, Grandpa, make sure that I turn this off at one o'clock.

And she looked up and the TV had turned off. Yeah. Well, I'm glad they have some sort of system to get against that cue you know where it plays the next episode because i'll be asleep and then all of a sudden like the star trek theme starts over again i'm like oh fuck i'm awake again well i get uh i well if i'm watching it and then it uh i like if you don't pick episodes if you just keep watching and keep watching it'll check in but it feels a little, I get a little defensive because it feels like they're going like,

are you still watching Property Brothers? So Grandpa's soul gets trapped in sort of like the in-between area between the living world and the afterlife to accomplish one last task, and that's make sure Michaela goes to bed at a reasonable time. And piss off his dog. Right. Also freak out the dog.

Grandpa loved scaring dogs. There is one thing I left I must do. I gotta make that dog bark at one in a goddamn morning. That's gonna be awesome. Grandpa was a bit of a prick. Yeah.

Frank West, you have a comment, right? Yes, I'm Taylor. I'm truly jealous of your experience. My baba, cranium grandma, has been sick a long time now. She is 91 years old.

I have contemplated to myself so many occasions to ask her, if at all possible, please come back and give me a sign if you can. What? So you're like the person I know who's gonna die the soonest.

I mean, hopefully. I mean, not hopefully. So you're on her deathbed just like, hey, when this finally happens, would you come over and freak me the fuck out? It would be awesome. Scare me when you're dead. All right.

Boots. You lemon. That story was a little bit silly. I don't think that there was a lot of... What? I don't know. It was a bit of a flight of fancy. So let's talk about, like, real politics.

Do you have anything, like, substantive to talk about? Yeah. I've got something serious to talk about. Okay, what's that? Yeah, my name's J... Sorry, G-J-A-A. Okay. I gotta talk about the 9-11 prediction

and a phone call from Osama bin Laden. I hate Morrissey's new lyrics. My story, I know no one will believe me, but I remember predicting 9-11. Oh. So not Osama bin Laden. Because Osama bin Laden predicting 9-11 would definitely be impressive.

Are we sure this isn't Osama bin Laden. Because Osama bin Laden predicting 9-11 would definitely be impressive. Are we sure this isn't Osama bin Laden? 2009. Since I was a child in the 70s, I've been told by an American-sounding voice of an extremely important date that would be known as 9-11. Listen, one of these days we're going to invent September 11th.

They said it couldn't be done. By the early 1990s, I was aware that a hijacked plane would crash into the skyscraper in New York. Possibly the World Trade Center on 11th September 2001. And then I invented the Wingdings font? This could be Tom Clancy. Also aware that Osama Bin Laden would be blamed as I remember taking a phone

call as a child in the late 70s where a man identifying himself as Osama Bin Laden explained that he was living in Afghanistan and that he was smuggling opium. I reported the phone call to my father, but he thought I was crazy, and he told me the call had never taken place.

I think in the 70s, Osama bin Laden was living in Saudi Arabia. I mean, I don't want to call Osama bin Laden a liar in this case. I don't want to impugn him, but still. It sounds like he got really fucked up on opium, accidentally called America, started saying some weird shit to a kid. I told him I'm in Afghanistan. I'm in Afghanistan.

I'm going to kill the United States. But that doesn't sound like what he was doing It just sounded like he was catching up Like, hey man, what are you doing? Oh, I'm living in Afghanistan, smuggling opium It's a pretty normal day today You know, no big MPD Also on the day of 9-11 itself I was mowing the back lawn

At around 3 o'clock No, the pieces are all coming together mowing the back lawn at around 3 o'clock. No. The pieces are all coming together. If he was mowing the lawn at 3 o'clock, September 11th, the attacks began at 9 a.m. 9 a.m. Eastern Time. Where does this guy live?

Ghana? He's probably British. They're all fucking British. Sorry, he's probably British. Oh, yeah. They're all fucking British. Sorry, Brits. Sorry, British. I love you, but you got... Okay.

I got a funny way of showing it. Around three o'clock when I was sure I heard a male voice say, something has just happened. I turned the mower off and looked around, but there was no one there. After finishing mowing the lawn, I went inside and turned the television on, and both the towers were on fire.

Wow, that's spooky. Oh my god. Is there a chance that this was submitted by George Bush? Now, so 3 o'clock, so what time zone would he have been in? Right, that's what I was asking. Maybe his ghost is just really

late. And then, scrolling down the page just a little bit, GJ leaves comments on his own story. Boots, will you just take the first comment to your own story? Yeah, I also recall possibly predicting Diana's death.

The prediction came as a curious piece of prose that came to my mind, which went as follows. Diana is dead. The paper Nazis did it. From paper Nazis, I got paparazzis, but only after the event. So they mumbled? Well, this guy's also saying that he

doesn't even know if he actually predicted it after it's happened. You know what I mean? Like, when you could just say, oh, I did predict it because it did happen. He's like, you know what, I think I remember. Except for Adam, that would be lying. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, there was also something about the death of Grace Kelly in a car crash. As a child, my mother was showing me an old postcard, which happened to have a picture of Grace Kelly on the front. On showing me this, she appeared to remark, it's a shame what happened to Grace Kelly. She was killed in a car crash. Some time later, I repeated what I had learned

to someone else and received the delayed reply that Grace Kelly was still alive. I explained that my mother had told me of the actress's death, but my mother scolded me, saying she'd never said such a thing. Okay, yep, alright.

So it doesn't sound like this guy's psychic, it sounds like everyone around him is psychic. It's a fish-out-of-water scenario. I've got an update. Oh, oh god, okay. I had a, between my last post, which was November 7th, 2009, and now... Somebody left the longest comment in the world. At a time now that is November 9th, 2009, I had a breakthrough.

Okay. Just adding to what I said above, it occurred to me that I recall as a very young child receiving telephone calls from Grace Kelly. I'm going to die in a car crash. Hello, boy here. I know this could probably never have happened, and my parents have certainly never mentioned it. So, Chris Collision. Yo.

I'm so glad you're here. Just happy to be here, Johnny. Yeah, so, you know, I'm happy to have you on the podcast, you know, to rescue you from, you know, certain persons in your life who, you know, might, uh... Make me read something horrible and awful? No. Well, control what you're going to, you know, what you're going to communicate here. So know that

this is a safe place, and we're safe people, um, and we care about you. So that said, is there a story you'd like to share with us at all? Um... You know, as a... as a man who does require corrective lenses, yes, there is. Okay. And that story goes a little something like this.

Like this! Aroused by a creature I could not see. This is from Nikekeeta. Also Andy, man? I'm not see. This is from Nike Keita. Also, Andyman? I'm not sure. I think Andyman is the guy that posts these from... Yeah, I don't think Andyman has the wherewithal

to really allow people to submit stories. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, he vets them. So these are all resourced. It's a Snopes kind of thing. These are good ones. Please let me tell my story. Through Andy Mann or not. I am not someone who turns to the internet for information like this.

I'm not a person who shares stories like this, but I need someone to tell me that they have had an experience like this. Validate my bullshit! I was sexually assaulted by something last night. I don know what it was but i do know this i have had a lot of experience in my short 23 years with spirits and spiritual entities and what i experienced last night was not a spirit i was laying in my bed meditating as i do every night before bed as i lay there i felt something caressing my body oh we, we get Incubi and Succubi back again. Yay! Whatever it was,

touched me in all the right places and in just the right way. I was in complete ecstasy for a good long while. I had no control. I was just spell bound. I actually enjoy it, which by the way disgusts me. I'm fun. Eventually, by the way disgusts me.

I'm fun. Eventually, my mind broke through the spell and I decided that whatever was going on needed to stop, only I couldn't stop what was happening and the more I fought this thing off me. Period. It was very odd. I couldn't see the thing other than the actual pleasure it was giving me, but I

knew where its chest, if it even had a chest, should have been. I put my hands in that area and physically pushed them upward toward the ceiling. I felt nothing when I did this. But the sexual sensation did immediately stop. I have never had an encounter like this before

and I am bothered by the fact that a creature I cannot see was able to arouse me in such a way. That's the first reasonable fucking thing I've written. There are only a handful of people who know how to touch me in such a way. Does anyone have any idea what this could have been? Help me. Help me.

My body felt good when I was meditating. I just want to say that everything in this story is actually completely consistent with masturbating and then stopping. Yeah, sure. Adam, can you take Terrence? You have experienced demonic incubi slash succubi demons. Seek Jesus for help. You have sinned and open the door to it

you need to repent and it will leave you uh I'm Aiden yeah or just enjoy it then read Dawkins the God Delusion what I always like to curl up with after masturbating. Yes, the icy cold.

While masturbating? Emptiness of the universe, yes. I don't masturbate to Richard Dawkins. I masturbate to Richard Dawson. Oh, I'm Prowless. Okay, Prowless. I say a bunch of stuff that's pointless, but I'm going to say, worst case scenario,

my guess is you've been playing with Ouija boards. Bad idea. Not Ouija boards. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah. Ouija boards. Ohai boards. Ouija boards.

Don't be playing with those Ouija boards. Bad idea. Ouija boards can get you laid. Or Ouija boards. I boards. Bad idea. Ouija boards can get you laid. Or Oya boards. I need to find those. Ouya boards. Don't play with an Ouya board. Frank West?

Yes. You feel like shouting? I think my neighbors would hate me. Okay, good. Fuck you, Frank West neighbors. This story is called Face of Spirit Guide Manifests After Meditation. No, it's not called that. It's called Face of Spirit Guide Maniests After Meditation.

I'm maniesting right now. Bye. M. Sanderson. My story. After a meditation in my home, which I regularly do daily, I ask for my guide and inspirers to come closer and show me themselves to satisfy my curiosity about the afterlife. A few hours later, I was sitting and relaxing in my living room with my son, who is 19, and I was made to look up at my ceiling where a man's face began to manifest. Oh my god, that is amazing. I just want to point this out. There's an ellipsis and then a period.

Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen that configuration before. Yeah, because the ellipsis looks different than the period. That's probably what's summoning the demons. Strunk and White have come back to, like, teach you how to fucking type. I guess people use ellipses so much in this place

that they have to make their own special symbol for it. I asked my son if he could see anything and what could he see? He agreed and described exact what I was seeing. Luckily, I had my mobile phone and in my mind, I asked

Spirit itself if I could have permission to take a photo for my own peace of mind. To my amazement, the picture worked and ended up taking more as the process of manifestation got stronger. Excuse me. The pics are absolutely amazing,

and I was honored to be shown this proof. Hey, you know what's to be shown this proof. Are they with your girlfriend in Canada? Hey, you know what's not attached to this post? Just hold on to them. My ceiling can cast shadows that look like a face that both me and my idiot son could see after doing nothing for a few hours. So I could get a picture of it with my Razor's camera. These pictures were for his peace of mind, not your satisfaction, okay?

I guess. That's fair. That's fair. The guide I got on a picture has since been verified as a Native Americano Indian warrior. Americna. I'm going with Americana. With the coffee? Who works with me in spiritualism. His name is Bear.

Oh, come on. No, it's not. It's not. His name is Bear and brings me much strength and guidance. Okay, his name is... Alternatively, his name is Bear and brings me much strength and guidance on my journey on the Earth plane. Yeah, that's what happens when it goes into the 20th or 21st generation. All the names are taken.

Walking Tiger? No? Oh, fuck. Tiger? Ambling Tiger? Seriously? Tiger? Tiger? Tiger? Ambling tiger? Seriously? Tiger?

If you ask your spirit guide to confirm things with you for any questions you need to be answered in life, they will do this for you in the most fascinating manner as you would imagine.

In the most fascinating manner as you would imagine. In the mot fascinating manner as you would imagine. Trust in everything you believe and ask for guidance and you will be shown. XX God bless X. Guidance. I

didn't... What? Cool. That was... Huh? Man, he asked. All right. I think it's time in this podcast... The previous post before that, I don't know that the whole post lives up, but the title is

The Mystery of the Nintendo Puzzle Completed Whilst We Slept. I just noticed that the site's subtitle has two very distinct typos in it. Share your paranormal space, comma, space. Ghost stories, space, comma, no space. Physic. Pysite. Pysite.

Pysite. Pysite. Pysite. Ampersand spiritual experiences. Pis-chic. Pis-chic. Pis-chic. Ampersand spiritual experiences. That's my new clothing line. Pis-chic. Pis-chic. Pis-yourself-chic.

All right. So, Chris. Chris Collision. I'm going to read a piece, and it is up to you to decide which piece I will read. Now, this is your first time on the podcast. No pressure, no pressure, but you are being judged by the decision you make here. So the two pieces that we may read here, option number one is a devil-like monkey creature used to wake me up. Is your son used to wake me up?

Nope, used. Wow. Oh, used to make me up. Oh, used to wake me up. Yep. And the second option is I dated my friend's dead brother. Dear God. You know, I'm a both-and kind of guy.

But I sense that's not going to fly here. No, it's not going to work. And to be quite honest, I like monkeys better than dead boyfriends. Yeah, to be fair, the submitters, Mitzi Ray and Brojack, gave us a lot of material, so we really have to narrow it down. Yeah, and thank you very much, Missy Ray and Brojack. I want to say that that's a first-time read for either of those two people, if I'm not mistaken.

No clue. But we've had some stuff from them. So, yeah, thanks a lot for the submission. But anyway, you said a devil-like monkey creature used to wake me up. Here we go. This was submitted by Rebecca. So, my story. My story is more of a

question. I am 45 years old now, but when I was about 17 or 18, I was visited by a devil-like monkey creature several times. It always happened when I was alone. This two or three foot creature would

wake me up and sit on my back, snarling and showing its many thin, sharp teeth. Are you sure that your mom just didn't own a Pomeranian? My life is an anti-smoking advertisement. Uh, Oh, I was looking at the dead brother. Okay, so it was something to me, but maybe in another language. It was heavy, and I couldn't move, but I could speak,

and it would put its face right down in mine while it was sitting on my back. So, I mean, draw a picture of that if you can. It scared me at first, but after a few visits, I started to scream back at it and finally told it I believed in God and he would protect me, so leave me alone. I've never seen it since. Oh, jeez.

Thank you, God! I didn't realize you were going to preach at me, Jesus. Alright, I'm gone. Another God squatter. I was going to grant you wishes. If you survive the test of 40 nights of not screaming.

Just wondering if anyone has ever experienced anything like that. Oh, my brother did. This was not a dream to me, but always happened to me while I was trying to sleep. Hmm. No, just weird. I could feel its weight on my back, and even though it was only two or

three feet, it felt very heavy. I could not get up. I even remember feeling its slobber on my face while it was yelling at me. Has anyone ever experienced a Y thing like that? Tags, devil. Tags, devil. And if you scroll

down, you will see the longest comment ever left on the internet by Zarkesmi. That's an entire episode. I like just in the confines of this episode and everything that we've read, I like his last sentences. I'm a 26-year-old guy from Finland, just for the record, and I swear on my mother's life that everything I've told above is true.

Hi there, dears. My name is Dahl. Hey, Dahl. What's up? I'm a 58-year-old woman, dears. My name is Dahl. Hey, Dahl. What's up? I'm a 58 old woman. And I have also seen this thing

as a child you have described in tea. I was about three my brother a year younger. It was about nine in the morning. We all slept in the same room my father had gotten up for work. I, sorry, had gotten up for work. I, period,

heard him and wanted to say goodbye, but when I went to c- period, Lime, out of my crib, I noticed this creature on my brother's crib. He was looking at my brother as he slept. His claws were wrapped around the top of my crib and i was against his i stood in crib looking at him for a few seconds he turned and looked at me then turned his attention back to my brother that's the end of my story jesus what happened next leave your own story lady why you gotta hijack mine and how how like because uh this was actually a thing that came up on Ball Pit recently of like, you know, like, is it unfair to like non-native English speakers, the idea of kind of like the spelling. But like, so we've talked about like the sort of like spelling mistakes, but you spelled climb, C-I, period space, capital I, space, I-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-I-M-B. How did you get there?

How? Just doesn't make sense. There was a monkey on my keyboard. Have you ever tried to type about your ghost stories while you're trying to drink a melting slush puppy? No, but it sounds fun. God, shit. Got water on the god damn thing where was I in the ghost story Frank West

yes would you like to make a choice here I love making choices okay great these are one of my favorite things these are thematically similar so it might be good for you here. So, option number one is by Glanea, and it is called The Ghost of My Dead Siamese Twin

Pulls on My Hip. Just give it that a minute. There we go. All right. And the second one is by Jesse And it's called My Unborn Twin Has Been Haunting Me I think I'm gonna go with Jesse

Jesse it is, alright, here we go So this was from December of 2011 So this has stood the test of time You know, things get truer the older they get And you're Jesse This has got the test of time. You know, things get truer the older they get. And you're Jesse. This has got the tag of Child and Voices. My unborn twin has been haunting me.

My name is Jesse. Since I was younger, I always had this feeling that someone was beside me at night. It was only a minor feeling when I was young, but it started to get worse as I grew up. Then at the age of 13, my eye color changed, but only in one of my eyes. David Bowie? Are you an anime character?

I don't think that happens. No, it's a Rob Liefeld character. One of them is glowing. You take that back. I just spontaneously grew all these patches. My crotch is a vortex and my feet come to points. Gun pouches. Yeah! Comic book jokes!

Enjoy it, audience! Go look up Rob Liefeld. You'll have a lot of fun. Check out his Captain America. And then, because we've always talked about it before we hit record, we've never talked about it at the appropriate time, you've got a minute, you need to spend some time, Google image search Andrew Dice Clay.

Just do it. Just do it. You'll be so happy. The results are terrific. Yeah, that does most of our prep work for this podcast. Sometimes, you know, you want to get a couple giggles out before you get started. Look at pictures of standardized clay. It's terrific.

I thought at first it was just some tijing I had done, but it started to change each day. At this time, I was 15 years old, and I was asked to babysit my neighbor's younger son. He was only three. I put him to bed around 10 o'clock. As laid down in my setia, my eye color had got worse. I was just about to ring an emergency doctor. Doctor, it's an emergency! My eye color has been changing gradually over the past two years!

But it's an emergency. My eye color has been changing gradually over the past two years. But it's reached critical mass. You rang an emergency doctor. Oh, I'm sorry, an emergency doctor. It's a legal thing. They can't spell it the right way. Have to get the doctor from emergency.

They're supposed to spell it backwards. So when it's... When the baby monitor for the kid... No, sorry. When the baby monitor for the kid started making weird whispering sounds and let out a loud screech, I picked it up.

I was scared, as I was only 15 at the time. Then a whisper came from the monitor saying, I'm here and I want to be born! What? I remember this clearly! I jumped. I went upstairs and everything was normal.

When I was 16, I went to a doctor to find out that since I was a twin, but I took everything thing to help it live away from it. I want to exorcist to find out that from the age of two, my unborn twin has been haunting me.

They would say that, wouldn't they? Okay. So this is the first draft of the Venture Brothers script? Adam's got something to read, but before he does, I just want to tell you that my name's Alid,

and we had just stripped the wallpaper off of our hall, and I was sat at top of the stairs looking at the wall when I noticed a letter 8 scrapped in the wall very high up. I said the letter out loud

from behind me. Somebody said, that's me, that is. I turned around quickly, but no one was there, but I could hear someone walking around on the landing, even though I couldn't see him. I knew he was there, but I think he was very friendly.

This really creeped me out, though, as my bedroom is in the attic and I can hear all sorts from up there. I'm done! Goodbye. I saw a ghost. Goodbye. So, Adam, you have a little bit of name confusion. Isn't that right?

Yes. Okay. What's your problem? When do people call me Steve? When my name is Jeff. My name is Jeff. My name is Jeff. Why did I see that coming? Okay, sounds good, Steve.

Steve, your coffee's ready. You have the mentee, right? I'm waiting here, Steve. Get on with it. Read your story, Steve. Steve, I love you. Wait, shut up. My name is Jeffrey. You said it was Steve, damn it!

You call me Jeff. And know me as Jeff. I am 53 years old. For the past 30 years, I have had this same experience with people that know me pretty well. Usually, through business relationships, all of a sudden, they will get excited to get my attention. And they call me Steve by error. Not any other name. They slip. Steve. I'm gonna say

I have this exact same experience. Yeah? People call you Steve? At least a couple dozen times people have called me Steve. Oh. I've gotten Andy, so I don't blame people when they say Andy, but it's usually always Andy. Yeah. I've never Andy So I don't blame people when they say Andy

But it's usually always Andy Yeah, I've never assumed it's ghosts When I questioned them Most were compelled to do so Even though they knew it was not my name And they knew it was Jeff This can happen two to three times By different people in a given year

And did not occur for several years. The other day, it happened during a phone conversation. After I confronted the person, they said that they wrote my name for a work order on the backboard as Steve. Right, because your name's Steve. Steve was wrong. What's up with this? Also in the past two weeks. Because your name's Steve. Even though Steve was wrong. What's up with this? Also in the past two weeks.

S-T-E. No, none of these letters are correct. Why do I keep doing this? V-E exclamation point. It's Jeff. Underline. Also in the past two weeks, I was the person that came to rescue a faint victim that fell down

and hit their head. And a person that came to rescue a faint victim that fell down and hit their head and a person that had their first convulsion and almost died from not breathing and I was also the first there to respond. Then the Steve name-calling started up again. Steve!

Steve! Steve! Steve! You saved my life! Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve! Eventually this guy's just gonna like walk into the bathroom sobbing Steve, Steve, Steve. You saved my life. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. Eventually, this guy's just going to walk into the bathroom sobbing. He's going to look deep into the mirror and realize that he's been wearing the wrong name tag for 30 years. Hi, I'm Tilly. Hey, Tilly, what's up? Maybe that's a name you were in a past life.

Or maybe that's your soul's name? My soul's name? Your soul's name? I'm Steve. First of my life. I can see souls and their names, and yours is totally Steve. You're Steve, and you're Nathan,

and you, I don't know what. Get out of here. Chad, you're Chad. Cece says, try looking into past life regression. Hope of here. Chad. You're Chad. And then Cece says, try looking into past life regression. Hope that helps. Yeah, that always helps. Hope that helps.

Everyone always says, I looked into past life regression, then my life got way better. The only people that ever say, hope this helps on this podcast are the people that say the most inane advice. Put it in your butt. Hope this helps.

Play your acoustic guitar for your rock up your butt. Hope this helps. I hope the end of this dog has butt ghosts. Oh, I hope it does too. Speaking of butt ghosts, did you know that we have new stickers, Boots? I did know that. Yeah, we have limited edition polyvinyl stickers that you can buy from THGFPL.US.

There's only 100 of them printed. And you, for the low, low price of $3 or other prices, could get a sticker that says, There's a ghost in my butt. And then the bee looks like a butt. And then there's a ghost that's coming out of the bee that looks like a butt. That was made by King Calamari. Anyway, let's see. Let's go on to

The Cheeky One Who Hid My Book. That's a story by Emma. And Frank West, if you'll take that one, please. The Cheeky One Who Hid My Book. My name is Emma. Okay, Steve? It's Stavino. I got peace that I put in my wallet.

I've had quite a few paranormal experiences. The most recent one happened two days ago. I had pulled a book that out... I messed that one up. I had pulled a book out that I had purposely wanted to read and had left it on my bed while I went and got a drink.

Do you usually pull up books that you accidentally want to read? Yes. When I came back, I noticed that the book wasn't on my bed, so I initially thought I may have put it somewhere else, so I began searching my room, looking for it. With no luck, I decided to leave the room and say aloud,

Can you please put my book back? Ghost, I'm gonna leave and count to ten. Dummy, you should have prayed to St. Anthony first. I waited five minutes before walking back into my room to find my book on the floor of my room. This wasn't the first time this has happened. Happened to my mom and brother. Whoever's doing it is a cheeky one. It's the cheeky girls. We

are the cheeky ghosts. You are the hidden books. Hi, I'm Michelle. Hi, Michelle. I shared a story similar to yours on a website called Experience Project. Oh yeah, we know about that. That one's in the hopper.

I was going to bake cupcakes and one of my cupcakes pans went missing. Experience Project. Oh, yeah. We know about that. That one's in the hopper. No, that's episode 124. I was going to bake cupcakes, and one of my cupcakes pans went missing. I just had it, and then it was gone. So I said, I'm going to leave the room. When I come back, please put the pan where I can see it. I really need it. And when I went back in the kitchen, it was next to my coffee pot. I said, thank you. I guess

some spirits got jokes. God, you're being haunted by a terribly, terribly unfunny ghost. Russell Simmons, deaf ghost. Adam Sandler is back in ghost form. This will inexplicably make $10 million.

I'm making the cupcakes in there. I mean, it's not even a good... Tell me you looked by the coffee pot and it wasn't there. Like, come on. Chekhov would not approve of this fucking cupcake pan joke. This? Oh, sure, you know what Chekhov would approve or disapp this fucking cupcake pan joke. This. Oh, sure, you know what Chekhov would approve or disapprove. He's right here.

He haunts me. Chris has a Wii-O board or whatever. Oh. An Ouya console. Watch out with those things. They're dangerous. A Boo-Yah board. He has a Boo-Yah board, which was made by Bunny Bread.

All right. by money bread. Alright, so Chris, you've had some strange experiences in South Louisiana, isn't that right? I mean, it's as true now as it ever was. Yeah, yeah. Only on TLC. Strange experiences in South Louisiana. Well, so you're going to read a story

by Samantha, and it's called Strange Experiences in South Louisiana, and I'm going to read a story by Samantha And it's called Strange Experiences With South Louisiana And I'm going to spend your entire reading Avoiding the temptation To go, it's okay It's okay Everyone gets one

Damn it, I spent mine already Get it out of your system You can do a bill, yeah, that's fine Strange Experiences In South Louisiana From Samatha Get it out of your system. You can do a bill. Yeah, that's fine. Strange experiences in South Louisiana from Samatha. My story still misses. You can spell your own name. But yet I still don't know what it is.

I will look in a mirror and zone out and my eyes will turn completely dark like nothing's there. And I will listen to music and hear someone scream, Sam! This happens over and over again. I hope you don't like breathing. While my family goes out and I was in our kitchen. Uh oh, it's True Detective Season 1. I keep on thinking I see something and say that I'm just paranoid. I go into

the bathroom. The door closes itself upstairs. You can hear my TV turn on and get louder and louder. I can tell them watching me as I type this and I am fine with. First period. Living in South Louisiana where it is the darkness. A lot of people

belive in this stuff. My grandma told me that my family can see them. I say them because I am not sure what they are but it skips a generation. Now back to being home alone. So I turn out of our kitchen and jump out of my skin as to what I saw. I can't really remember what they looked like but it scared me. My friend says

if he tries, he can see them. And he said one is latched to my back today. I was taking pictures and every picture I would take a red thing would appear. Then being scared, I went upstairs and I had an urge to run. So I ran from my bed and the doorbell rang.

As soon as I laid on my bed, I said, what the hell? Went downstairs. No one was at the door. So I slammed it close and turned around after not even taking a step. I hear my sister banging at the door saying, why did you slam the door in my face? What in the world is wrong with you? Still no punctuation. That is really hard to do that capitalization and not do punctuation.

I think somebody might be haunted by alcoholism. What? Who's out there? Who's? You know, it doesn't help anyone to point it out. Just... It's fine.

I mean, you got, I mean, this guy's got a prowl. The worst punctuated fucking intervention. The F-Plus is either drinking or sucking dick. Why does it have to be either or? No, it's one than the other.

It helps the voices. I open the door, seeing my mom's friend's car in the driveway. She having a questionable look, my older sister made sure she passed through the door. I went back upstairs, think, what the crap happened? I know what I saw when I opened the door. Nothing was there. Then less than a second later, my sister at the door.

But how could my grandma be right? The things I have been seeing, feeling, hearing are not my imagination. Am I not crazy? Then I kneeled on the ground and asked my grandpas up in heaven if they are real. I heard a whisper more like a threat. It said in a deep voice, nothing like my grandpas. It was raspy and coarse. It said, yes, Sam. I got scared

so much I went straight to sleep. The only thing I could dream of was them. And I decided I should write this and here it is. Not even a period there! Dear grandpas, who are real up in heaven, hearing my prayer. Why did I slam the door by my mother's face

amen to my grandpas in heaven so she had a questionable look like you know culottes yeah trench coat but it was the middle of summer in south Louisiana who dresses like that so coming down to the end here coat, but it was the middle of summer in South Louisiana. Who dresses like that?

So, coming down to the end here, but I've heard that Boots, you're under constant attack from rope psychics. Isn't that true? Constant, constant attacks. So, by the way, there are I don't want to say categories.

I don't think the site is sophisticated enough to have categories. But it does have tags. And the thing that Boots is about to read is tagged true ghost stories. No, these are actually categories. This is under the section categories on the right. Okay, what are the other categories? Events, paranormal experiences, psychic experiences, spiritual experiences, and uncategorized, which is a category. Wow, look at that.

The only thing in uncategorized is, what was the strange whooshing sound outside my window? Jenny wants to know. I'm just impressed that all but one post are categorized. This is a flashback. This is a long story for something that probably didn't happen. Yeah, I'm... Why do you always say it doesn't happen? Constant attack from rogue psychics.

Ooh. My name's... My name's... And the only person on the internet who can spell rogue. It's more of a multi-class. I'm actually impressed. I had both of them at level one, but anyway. Oh, God.

I'm David C. Traverso, and my story is, my paranormal experience started four days possessive before the Super Bowl, and this story is psychic and weird. Okay. before the Super Bowl. This story is psychic and weird. The first day I was jogging and I heard a voice yell slash swear at me. It was about... It was about 100 feet in the air.

One word is all stopped me in my tracks and made me look back. I shook it off and kept on jogging. On the second day I was lifting weights. Sure. And on the third day you did

fuck. I handwrite menus. Daily specials for a living, so I have no concept of possessives and plurals, but anyway. I was lifting weights. Sick burn. And I heard three words.

The observational comedy that people really love to watch. Hey waitresses, don't touch this plate or you'll get a sick burn. It's hot. I heard three words. My full name and a swear word. That was about seven feet high.

I said to myself... David C. Traverso comes. David C. Traverso. Shit. He's coming. I said to myself, what's going on here? I shook it off and finished my work out. The third day, I felt weird.

I felt weird. I felt a weird... Okay. My mind and body felt a weird shiver, quiver, and hum that I'd never felt before. Yeah, on the fourth day, he slash psychic broke through or connected with me.

I talked to him four or five hours. Did not have a choice. Told me he was a psychic, remote viewer, and a communicator. I could tell this person was disturbed. Four or five hours you didn't have a choice with a psychic. Yeah, that makes sense.

The guy in my head's crazy. They told me to go to my front window and watch. It was 4 a.m. First across the street, a neighbor came running out of her house, screaming and shaking while she was holding her head. Then she went back inside instantly about 15 minutes later. He told me to look out the side window. Then my next-door neighbor came running and screaming out the back patio.

It was weird to see two of my neighbors being attacked or invaded by a psychic while I was being attacked slash invaded. The psychic mentioned how it was a strong connection. I thought the psychic would go away. I was wrong. He's rogue, evil, and disturbed to say the least. To say the least.

To say the least. To say the least, yeah. For the first month I was scared and trying to make sense of this while I was being screamed at and attacked constantly. This psychic started a power trip on me, saying I was this robot and he was in control of my life. This psychic was screaming, swearing, and attacking me constantly. Then he started asking me for money, jewelry, or whatever else he could get.

I started dating the man in my head. It's weird how this guy's haunted by somebody boring and long-winded. I thought I'd heard it all. Psychic extortion. Give me money or I'll stay in your head and try to you have a

psychotic breakdown. Try to you have a psychotic breakdown. That's what I said. You said it because it makes sense. That's why you said it. That was just a start. Then another more powerful psychic came into this and I recognized

right away. I have not seen or heard from him in 20 plus years. He was my old grade school science teacher. Right away as soon as he started attacking me hard and strong he made it perfectly

clear this was about money. He almost gave me a heart attack. Thank God I work out three times a day. And then I got a foot-long dick. It's like Harry Potter without wands. It's

that many words, too. Yeah. That apostrophe S when I started to get when this started getting tense. Oh, dear. I had two psychics attacking me for money, power trip, and addiction. Okay. The first psychic was in the mind, and the second in the body slash spine.

This is a nice gray matter you have here. Be ashamed if somebody made you have a psychotic break in it. Hey, you got a B on your spine. I felt a lot of attacks, such as blocked thoughts. Every single time there's an S, there's an apostrophe in front of it. Jesus Christ. Almost done. You're almost done. Mind of... Am I?

No, he's not. Well, then skip some, damn it. These two psychics were trying to extort $5,000 to $15,000 from me. They didn't get anything from me but trouble. I had to start taking sleeping pills to sleep. I sleep five to seven hours a night. I don't understand how I could be connected to these psychics for so long. Oh, I think I have an idea.

All of the K2 that you smoke. That's how I stay connected. Yeah, this went on for a year The It was gone I think it might have been The victim of a spinal tap What? Yeah, that's what I saw Or they let me see their psychic machine

The victim of a I mean, spinal taps are very Like, labor intensive They just knocked him out on the sidewalk And quickly did mean spinal taps are very like labor intensive they just knocked him out on the sidewalk and quickly did a spinal tap on him you know oh yeah it's like they got one of those things that you get maple out of

I just got a spinal tap when I got my tetanus shot do they do those at the same time well yeah cause the pain of the tetanus shot is enough to distract you from the spinal tap. Oh, yeah, that is when I saw or let me see the psychic

machine. It is big. I did not know psychics could enhance their ability with machines. Me neither. I'm learning that now. Let's skip a paragraph. Let's skip a paragraph, but know that the paragraph that he's skipping mentions Coast to Coast. Yeah, I've been trying to talk to other well-known psychics in Coast to Coast AM to tell people about this.

I know my old science teacher has a list of students, and he attacks them ESP in that machine. What? You heard me. He's been doing this for years I'm not the first or the last criminal and invasion one's most privacy

I'm trying to bring more light on these psychics and what they're doing I believe hundreds of people have been attacked by these two rogue psychics thank you for posting my experiences weird but true have been attacked by these two rogue psychics. Thank you for posting my experiences. Weird but

true. Thank you for listening. It's weird. It's what happens when you work out. It drives your brain crazy. It's weird that there's no comments on this. Yeah, there's no comments on this. I could not be sadder that there's no comments. This guy needs to be heard. Well, I guess we just helped with that. Well, you know, he

called in to Coast to Coast. Good luck, David. Good point. Wherever you are. Good luck, David C. Traversofuck. So let's close this up with one last story here. And once again, thank you to Brojack and Missy Ray for this document. Terrific.

Really, we were spending some time looking at the documents and trying to debate, and then Adam was like, oh, isn't there a thing in here about paranormal experiences? And then that was our decision made. So, but Chris,

or should I say Steve? You should. You almost certainly should. So you have a story you want to close out on, don't you? I do. I've never wanted anything more in my life. Okay, good.

I mean, that's sad, but, you know. Don't judge me, Lemon. Well, I'm kind of judgy. Kind of? Like everyone else in this room, back me up on that. Oh, you? I don't know about that. All right, back me up on that. Oh, you? I don't know about that. Alright, so

buckle up, grip your broomsticks tightly with your thighs, because it's about to get a little witchy in here. Because my name, as you might have expected, is Claire. And I knew a girl who could control the wind.

I listened to a lot could control the wind. I listened to a lot of Fleetwood Mac. My story. I was about 11 years old. I joined this archery class. There was a nine-year-old girl named Matilda there. Her eyes were orange. I'm not kidding.

Orange. We talked for a while. She looked at me with this deadpan expression and said, I have something to show you. We snuck to the back of the class, and she said, Watch me. She held up a finger and spun it. Suddenly, on this hot, humid summer day, there was a breeze.

I wasn't imagining it. Other people noticed. A few of the kids went, ah. Ah! Ah! She did it several times every day. I could feel wind setting in.

I haven't seen her since then. Oh, Matilda, thanks. I often wonder what Oh, Matilda, thanks. I often wonder what happened to Matilda, comma, the little girl with the ability to control the wind. This is 100% true. I'm not kidding. I promise.

Matilda was probably like, look at my weird finger. Also, you were 11 years old. Yeah. Isn't that old enough to recognize that if you meet somebody and then the person that you talk to says, I have something to show you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's another running F plusplus theme of, like, being fooled by people that are younger than you. Yeah. Hi, I'm David Gladwin. I have something to say about that story. I think I know what's going on. I know what's up with Matilda. She is an alien hybrid being.

Oh, shit. Well, now I have to move it to the different category. Fuck. Frankly, I believe David Gladwin. It took him a little over two months to come up with that explanation. I assume he was researching the entire time. So,

F+, what did we learn from this? Well, Steve, I've learned that people have boring stories. That's a good point, Steve. And you know what I have learned that people have boring stories. That's a good point, Steve. And you know what I've learned? If you tell a boring person a boring story,

they'll often respond with a similar boring story of their own. Steve, do you have anything to add? Oh, yeah. This is actually at least way more interesting than uh the people's dreams oh yeah like like because yeah even though a lot of them are people's i do like a good ghost story like i'll be honest i do like a good ghost story even if it's like you're full of shit i can you probably saw somebody else who was in the place you shouldn't have been in or something like that or whatever but like if they tell it right,

it can kind of send chills down your spine and it's kind of cool. But like, if somebody is telling you a dream, it's like, shut up. Yeah, absolutely. Do you end up hearing ghost stories from like people that you talk to in

your, not every day, but if it's like a, you know, like you're camping with people and everybody's drunk and somebody's got a flashlight and it's like, let's tell the ghost stories. And then somebody has a good one.

Are they ghost stories that they're inventing? No. It's like, I saw something once. It doesn't make me go like, oh, that's a bright person. It's like, oh, that was a good story if they tell it right. Okay, cool.

If you like a good ghost story the last hour and change Must have really sucked for you Well I'm not a connoisseur I'm being tortured by these cliches And odious metaphors When I was in Seattle earlier this summer I was drinking in an underground A bar in the underground

And the bartender had claimed that, said that one of the claims for fame of the shitty bar, it was a good bar, but it was a shitty bar. So one of the claims for fame of the bar

is that three different ghost shows had done episodes in that bar. Great PR. Yeah. They're haunted by great PR. Yeah, yeah and i and i said so do you

think this place is haunted and he's like give me a fucking break i i would say that i mean like the the thing that the thing that um that i would put here on uh man there is that Andy man, you know, there there's that, there's that thing that, that we, I think really every episode we've done is hit this point of like how the internet like makes crazy,

crazier. And. Well, there's like not crazy people here. And then they're supported by the genuine crazy people. Right. But like most people aren't very good at figuring out that other people are crazy, so they're just like, oh, this is a person who has also had a ghost experience, and they're

like, I am battling psychics in my mind. One of them is a teacher. But that's the thing, is that, like, okay, so that thing, that long-ass thing that Boots read, I mean, this was emailed or somehow submitted to andy man right so then andy man like cut it like parsed it did not spell check it and then put it online and like at no point did he go hey you're a danger to yourself and others like maybe you should seek professional help and that's like that's the point that that's the point that should have happened with this if you're willing to believe a ghost enough you're running

a whole website about it then like you're not gonna pick up you're not the sort of person who's gonna pick up on those signals well you need content yeah that's gotta gotta hit that uh seo you know yeah exactly i don't know why you guys are so cynical scream engine optimization you don't know why we're so cynical we've done almost 200 episodes of this I don't know why you're so cynical I am a 100% confirmed

absolute believer in goats I just don't think that there's any room for debate about this well then we won't I guess the website is room for debate about this. Okay, cool. Okay, well then we won't, I guess. The website is always THGFBL.us. It's the place where you can leave a comment if you feel like it or not. That's fine, too.

Yeah, and if you want to tell us about the ghosts that live in your house, your locker room, your dorm, whatever. What should I do? Come to Ball Pit. That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. That's our forum. Ball Pit, there's a pretty good food sub-forum there with the cooking disasters.

I gave my report of my 10 hours at the Minnesota State Fair. Oh, and then there's that thing where people were making their own booze for a while, which was harrowing. Harrowing, I think is the word. Yeah, and if you've consumed a dangerous amount of chocolate milk... And if you're looking for a place to get drunk, why not do it at F Plus Live?

Bye! Bye! Goodbye. I'm really sorry, Stephen, but your bicycle's been stolen. I was watching it for you till you came back in the fall. I guess I didn't do such a good job after all. good job after all I was feeling really sorry Stephen and I spent some morning

grieving We shouldn't read it but the previous story was a strange smell emanates since my cousin drowned. Yes I would imagine. Written by Phil Collins.

Oh, my. Deep cut.