The F Plus - 195: Heaven And Urth

Episode Date: November 21, 2015

Urth looks and plays like the world's shittiest video game. The creators insist that Urth is not a game (which is why they call it Urth the Game), but a path to prosperity, a tool for resurrecting the dead, a meditation conduit to alleviate your fears, and a method for winning the lottery - not for the money, just, you know, to prove you can. But video game or not, you're still moving a man in a labyrinth to min-max your Spirituality. This week, The F Plus is droppin' payloadz all over the place.

This episode is brought to you by CyberPowerPC. CyberPower. Holy fucking shit, we're terrible. This is the F Plus Podcast, a game-changing place for spooky things, read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Frank West. Halloween Karma Wash. What a wow! Kumquats up! The internet is a means of sharing data between computers located all over the world. Stog!

To use bliss is not to fade away into oblivion. Bliss is bliss. Try it before you just decide you don't want any. From idontevenownotelevision.com this is J.W. Friedman. These days I believe I can be frank and clear about what my orbs are intended to do. And lemon.

You only use about 5% of your total brain power typically, and doubling that doesn't register a gong sound or an organ flare on the universal scoreboard. It's like when an idiot goes crazy. Who can tell? You know what? The entire internet can. New York and California. Earth people. I was born on Jupiter.

Earth people. New York and California. Earth people. I was born on Jupiter. Earth people. New York and California. Earth people. I was born on Jupiter.

Hey, F-Bus. Hello. Hello. How are you all doing tonight? I'm feeling spiritually unfulfilled. Spiritually unfulfilled? I'm so sorry to hear that. Why is that, Stog?

I don't know, because I've been playing Fallout 4 for, like, the last week and nothing else. Yeah, yeah, well that, I mean, that will be, um, spiritually, I mean, difficult. Like, are you just not accomplishing your goals? Is that the problem? Well, I still haven't gotten to Concord yet, so... Oh, man. Well, you need to work on that, first of all. Yeah.

But, you know, maybe, and I just want to run this by you, Stog, and everyone else, too, is that maybe the game is actually the problem. Maybe, and I know this is going against a whole lot of, uh, of, of wisdom, but maybe Fallout 4 is not the answer to your problems. I mean, are you just mad that they took out traits, or? Yeah, well, I'm, I'm, I'm mad that the Intelligence 1 doesn't give me the same dialogue tree that it did in, in Fallout 1. Yeah, I'm pretty mad about that, too.

So, uh, but we're gonna talk about to talk about a much better game than Fallout, and that game is Earth. U-R-T-H. The document was given to us by Heavenator some time ago, and the document is entitled, A Document About Orbs, or I Want to Do McGick, But I Don't Want to Stop Playing Video Games. All right.

So we are going to be going to www.earthgame.com, and this is one of the worst sites we've seen in some time. I mean, really, not since John Kitchen have we seen this level of let's call it web design. I knew there was a reason why I liked this website. There's a sign up for newsletter graphic that's as large as anything else.

Alright, so let's find out a little bit about this game, and that means that we're going to start off with the instructions on how to install the game. Because, you know, it's a very confusing thing. So, Frank West, what are the steps that

are required in order to play Earth Game Prosperity Path? Well, to install orbs, complete the following steps. Okay. One, find the orb download file. Two, use the download file to install the orb.

Those are the steps. So what are the... In the sidebar there of the page you're looking at, there's coaching on how to get this game running. What are the different categories of guides you have? Well, in the coaching tech skills, the first guide is how to navigate to earthgame.com. You know, the same website you're on now. You already are. And by the way, every one of these pages, like, has screenshots with, like, placards and arrows pointing to stuff.

Like, one is a screenshot of Firefox, and then it's got a thing that says scroll bar. bar. The first instruction on how to navigate to earth.com is trying to define what the internet is. Anyway, so what are the other steps? Browse and select

an orb. Oh yeah, sure. We went through that. We're good. Purchase and download. Purchase? Okay. Find the download. Install. Find shortcut and download. Find the download. Install. Find shortcut and run. Exit game. Running orb for another. After exiting?

Find and email godjrun.log Godjrun. Sure, okay Delete game And install on USB That should be step three Anyway, so

I feel like that's really useful I mean, sometimes I've gotten project managers Coming over to me like Oh, you know, QA testing They said that this part was confusing. You're like, okay. Don't worry. There's nothing confusing about any of this.

I have another question. There are many steps describing what a USB socket is. Have we found out what an orb is yet? No, we haven't. An orb is more common knowledge than a USB socket. Got it.

No, no, no, we'll get to that, because I think an orb is probably a game mechanic. So, Jay, I'm looking here on this page called How Does It Work? And there's a picture of a wizard hat and some candles and a pile of money. Those sweet wizard stacks. So, Jay, this is a long page,

so please skip at your leisure, but I just want to know, how does it work? Well, an act of blessing is a prayer or invocation that is specifically acted out in the quantum dimension of cyberspace. I like to call this action my prosperity path active blessing. Oh boy, this is hard. It's done by downloading and running one of my prosperity path remedies

for personal, business, friends, and family goals and purposes or my prosperity path class levels for higher goals and purposes. In my prosperity path levels, you can easily find and run any goal or purpose, whether personal or private or universally shared cosmic inspiration love and harmony running the level increases the percentage of probability that your goal or purpose will succeed for the purpose of giving you an avatar

in a space in which to accumulate mojo for your active affirmation, ooh, active affirmation, I make what we could call an orb, a sphere, a ball of existence, which consists of what could be considered a series of chambers encased within the blackness of the open void. I do this using the G.O.D.D. 3D simulation engine and Zach's

crafted resources. The engine is capable of anything produced today, including WoW and Diablo 3. However, I use it with a very simple, non-photographic, reductionist style of architecture. You might want to know how an orb, a quantum sphere of existence within a field of voidness is made, and with exactly what ingredients. Right. What? Yeah, I want to know those things. Fair enough question. That was my question

before we even started. Well, I'm happy to answer it in detail. Number one, all items are virtual MP2 models. Yes, MP2. MP2? Try it other formats, but magically, they all suck, except MP2. Who knows why? I noticed that magically there

doesn't have a K in it. No. Who knows why? I noticed that magically there doesn't have a K in it. No. Who knows why, but that's the bottom line. How come the Wikipedia article on MP2 doesn't mention anything about that it magically sucks? Well, no, presumably that's in the Wikipedia article for every other file form. Right. Of course. It magically sucks. Right. Of course. It magically sucks.

Right. So skipping along here, there's a lot of pictures of what appear to be Crash Bandicoot levels with no background. Right. Yep. And. What is the caption on that first Crash Bandicoot picture? Oh, goodness.

Wow. I use a virtual super begin Tesla Dunwotype front-end coil antenna rig with a Morgan antenna tuner and a Butcher Crystal Radio QRM rejector and a quantum device called an induction ring. Other people use Maya. Yeah, seriously. He managed a new age graphic design. And just for those of you listening in, that appears to be captioning a picture of some watermelons next to some plants and a mushroom. There's also a picture of what appears to be a Mario Goomba levitating in midair next to some arrows on some gears. Hey, I have a question. You had an encounter with a donut.

Oh, hang on. That does sound familiar. I think I read that somewhere. Your encounter with a donut. Tell me about any encounters you might have had with donuts. Oh my god. Oh my god. Anything that's made today has a list of ingredients, even house paint and the casual donut.

Hey, that's a great name for a donut chain, isn't it? Use it if you wish. I have no foreseeable use for it. It's not bad. I spelled it donut instead of dough nut because this morning I suddenly found myself sitting around in the 21st century all of a sudden. This morning I suddenly found myself sitting around in the 21st century all of a sudden. Sick burn, people who spell it doughnut. Stock, I have a couple of questions for you here.

Just a couple. Well, yeah, just a couple for right now about your game called Prosperity Path. Now the screenshots look much different. Now it looks like a dating sim. Like a dating sim except somebody's

going to get murdered. Yeah, like a cyberpunk prostitute stabbing simulator or something. But anyway, Sock, about this game, is it legal? Is it moral? Is it ethical?

Is it witchcraft? Legal, yes. Emphatically legal, but to try and better your condition. Even the government likes it when you improve yourself because it makes you a better taxpayer and a more likely voter. What?

Yeah. Is it moral? Depends on whom you ask. And the parent of the year award goes to... Some say yes, some say no. But that's the very nature of morals. Morals are fine as long as you don't try to cram your brand of morals on someone else's forehead. Righteousness is often mistaken for morality.

Being doggedly and meanly righteous can often get you your way, but along with it comes a reputation for ugly. Is it ethical? No question mark. That's very different from moral, don't you see? And there's my question marks. Ethics has to do with a code of conduct dedicated toward the common good. That's it by definition. Do no harm is the Hippocratic Oath and is the very heart of prosperity path. So this makes me a doctor? Yeah.

Doctor game. I got the game doctor. It gave me all my cheat codes. I don't know why I keep asking this question, but is it witchcraft? I got the game doctor. It's gave me all my cheat codes. I don't know why I keep asking this question, but is it witchcraft? If by witchcraft you mean the practice of lunar worship by pagans, the answer is no.

Well, it certainly doesn't preclude pagans, but prosperity path is not actually anything but itself. If, on the other hand, you meant by witchcraft the practice of attempting to alter one's life and to help others through invisible means, I guess I'm guilty of witchcraft. So are you. Hey, watch it, bud. So, if I try to help somebody through Wi-Fi, I'm a witch. Yeah.

Is it witchcraft? No, paganism is far too strict. Code Quad the techno witch. Alright. I think it's about time to talk about mojos, don't you think? Yeah. I like mojos. So, Frank West,

there's a secret alert, big secret time. Law of contagion, law of similarity, two major laws of magic, meaning fringe science by today's standards and knowledge. Oh, no. That's what magic means, is fringe science. Of course. Here's the science coming up now. Both of these common terms describe an invisible connection, a coupling factor, between two seemingly unconnected and unrelated

people, places, or things. Okay? Okay. Okay. So this all makes sense, right? Yeah. I mean, so far, I've pretty much

followed everything. Great. Science cannot presently see the connection when prayer, invocation, blessing, or mental and emotional powers are used to establish a connection, but there is more than ample evidence that it is so. There are entire expensive government agencies devoted to the study of ESP and related phenomena that it can be applied in warfare and international espionage. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

International? Heck, I did itoh. Uh-oh. International? Heck, I did it for the U.S. government and for the private sector. Give me a bit of industrial espionage every time, but you can keep the government job. So, Frank West, I would like to look at charms, amulets, and talismans. Can I? Yes. Meanwhile, let's look at charms, amulets, and talismans. Okay.

These are not mojos. Oh. Meaning they're not exactly what you're looking for. Not directly. They merely make it easier to find what you're looking for by a measured percentage anywhere from plus 10% to plus 30 to magic find. That is a measurement. A range of measurements. If you're not experienced at this sort of thing, be patient with yourself.

With experience comes knowledge and understanding and eventually, one hopes, wisdom. The crowning achievement of them all. Like Steam achievement? No, no. No Xbox. No. Oh, okay. Okay. Get those cheapos. The point is that you have on your person or somewhere close by, you will resonate better with the target items in quantum space of the prosperity path level.

Get it? No! Oh! No! Yeah! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. To put it another way, resonance is key factor to achieving similarity. Oh!

Wait, wait. Frank West, how do I resonate? How you resonate is to use the same incense, the same candle, the same powder, the same oil, the same type of meteorite, the same object, and smells and sounds that your on-screen avatar is seeing as you move your character through the spaces provided in the Prosperity Path level. All right. So when I'm playing Fallout, I actually have to drink radioactive water when I'm drinking from the toilet.

You need to get some Nuka-Cola. You know, wear the party dress and the welding goggles. Yeah. Right, but what do I have to do out of the order? So, okay.

So you're playing a video game, but you mirror the actions of the character in the video game, thereby invalidating the entire point of playing a video game. Okay. So, resonating is just cosplay. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Like Bobo virtual reality. Frank West, that sounds great, but I have a question for Kumquatsop. Oh, hello. And, you know, so obviously this is a game that helps me reach my full magical potential.

That's terrific. But who does the work? One of the major points overlooked by human modern medicine, a term no off-worlder can hear without cracking up into peals of helpless laughter. Into peals? Yeah. You're a bell. Is, as mentioned previously,

the effect of past lives on the present lifetime. Also unconsidered are the many disembodied spirits that may intentionally or unintentionally cause harm or mischief. Yet another, as mentioned before, is the totality of effect of the buildup of karma, which must be reduced every day in order to live an effective work life, but the most unconsidered cause of relief of human ailments of all kinds is angelic help. Yes, angels are real, and under the right conditions, they can and will respond with powerful intervention.

Okay, that having been said, I want to make perfectly clear my official position on all orbs. You do all the work. The orb merely suggests paths. What you can take or not take and indicates events that are occurring in that world. This guarantees nothing about your present condition. In accordance with the laws of the land of the free, the land of the total religious freedom,

I make the following claim or claims of my product, i.e. Prosperity Path Remedial Orbs. This product is intended for entertainment only! No supernatural claims are made for this product! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the thing you see on the side of pachinko machines. Yeah. Hmm.

Ha, ha, ha! What? That's the disclaimer that was forced on all non-Christian manufacturers of off-brand candles! Oh. What's the proper magical brand of candles that I should get? Yankee candle. Incense,

oils, powders, bath salts, and health foods throughout the last half of the previous century, which according to my calculations and my trans-dimensional watch, turns out to

have been the XX if I read my watch correctly. Yeah, you see this trans-dimensional watch? Yeah. This trans-dimensional watch costs more than your trans-dimensional gun. Second place is your trans-dimensionally fire. Second place is you're trans-dimensionally fired.

Always be spell-casting. This means that from the standpoint of this planet, the root causes addressed in the orbs would be non-physical, non-mental, and non-emotional. In the ordinary senses of the words, if you follow my meaning. I do follow your meaning. Can you tell me about the time I'm sure the only time that you were arrested? By which I

mean the time that you were taken downtown? What? Uh, maybe. Oh, yes! Let me tell you about I got taken rather roughly downtown. Right, that's what they call it on SVU. Meaning the precinct for doing a tarot reading

for my friend Jose Ferrer at another friend's restaurant, the Odyssey on Sunset Boulevard. It was, in short, a non-commercial interaction on private property, but it wasn't about law. It was about fear. Fear of the unknown.

I don't think that was why you were arrested. You were doing tarot readings at somebody else's restaurant. Were you wearing pants? The restaurant owners were uncomfortable and called the police. Listen, I was wearing trans-dimensional pants. Hey, are you a qualified psychologist? No! Okay.

Somehow that's going to make you a qualified psychologist, I bet. Even though I've taught it and been chief admin at the Cowie Chan Center for Gestalt Learning, the Cowie Chan Center for Gestalt Learning. With many clinical psychs working under my direction, I also organized and directed the Center for Conscious Birth. What? What? What? So, like, in the middle of childbirth, you're just,

Are you paying attention? Hey, hey, eyes up here. With several MDs and RNs on my staff, plus many trainers and coaches for the many home deliveries we did over a five-year period in Los Angeles. And the many fine cars. I'm sure you hung out with Willie Ames at some point. Yeah. Yeah. Why did you close down?

Uh. What? Because nobody can offer a $350 doctor and nurse assisted home birthing plan that includes pre and postnatal care and get away with it. Hmm? What? We were working for the underprivileged and they don't have a vote as well, you know. Psychologist, I'm not Psychologist, I'm not.

Doctor, I'm not. Then how come you were in charge of all the fucking doctors? You had a team of doctors and nurses under you at some sort of gestalt, learning, conscious birth center. Did they mind that you weren't qualified? his birth center. Did they mind that you weren't qualified? Maybe he means birth not in the literal birth term.

Oh, like what other term? Transdimensional birth. I don't know. Healer I am, but doctor I am emphatically not. What am I? The best you can nail it down is that I'm not from around here!

Yes, you are. Oh, he's fucking Jim Morrison. Some of my best friends are angels! I'm not angel racist! Fuck! Would you like their help? Climb into the driver's seat of one of my

prosperity orbs. Come on, ride the prosperity orb. Only 2.9% APR. And that's mostly the help you'll get, invoked automatically by the orb as you proceed through it, triggering off angelic calls and intonations, smudges,

oil disseminations, and more. Hey, I came to help, but like any lifeguard worth his weight in sea salt. Nice metaphor. A lifeguard is not worth much. I have to be trained well in order to know how to effectively and harmlessly help someone who is struggling and trying to bring me down with him.

What I mean is that most of the time, the knee-jerk reaction of the local population is to get out the big roasting pot. feathers, tar, pitchfork, and torches in a very convincing imitation of a bunch of riled up hell beings on a spree. Okay, so I'm looking up the San Francisco Salt Company. I'm just trying to see how much. Okay, so I can get 20 pounds. Is it Himalayan? 20 pounds for...

It is not Himalayan salt. That would be more expensive. But it comes from the same company. So I can get 20 pounds of sea salt for 30 bucks. I guess that's not too bad, you know? A couple hundred. That's a couple hundred dollar person. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, I've certainly paid more for... Yeah, but you just pay for remnant parts. Yeah. So, at this point, so one of the things that I was hoping to do is to, because I know that the next part that we're going to read about is the orbs that are the sort of central tenant of the game. I was hoping that before getting to this point... I think the orbs are the games.

The orbs are the games. I think every orb is like a separate install. Okay. Do you think they're like levels? Like self-contained levels? Like that Far Cry 4 thing? That is my understanding. Okay.

All right. Well, you know what? Let's just go under that assumption. That's what an orb is. We've been looking at this website for an hour, and that's about as far as I've gotten in my understanding of what this is. All right.

Cool. So there's a whole lot of orbs. Man, this company is happy to sell you... They're not free, right? Yeah, it's money. Okay, so we're happy to sell you a whole bunch of... Hey, come quats up. What is an orb?

I've totally found what an orb is. What is an orb? It's sort of like a video game. Okay, thanks! Okay, bye! Jay, why call it an orb? Strangely enough, we use the enigmatic name orb

in order to avoid confusion. Huh? Here's the thing. If we called these orbs a video game, then you could be seduced into making all kinds of assumptions about the orbs you might expect to find monsters to kill you might expect to get shot at you might expect there to be dangerous situations in the game none of this is true in a prosperity path orb your character will not be shot at or in any other way experience danger. Great!

That sounds... Yay! That sounds so good. This is a 99 cent orb, and it is called Goddess. Stog, if you'll take that, please. Goddess. Goddess updated Tuesday night, July 10th, 2012. Many fixes.

More problems. This shit was busted before. Yeah, the second, we didn't rip enough models from Second Life. Right, right, right. So tell me about this. I've got a goddess inside me, right? Sure, there's a goddess inside you, but do you have any idea what she does for a living? What's the point of being a goddess if nobody knows you're a goddess?

Do goddess things. Manifest as a goddess. In order to do that, you have to find work as a goddess. So how? Find your goddess strength, skills, and blessings in this orb and begin manifesting your goddessness right now, today. Don't just wish for it, work at it. God damn it, I love Beyonce.

Beyonce don't have to work She chooses to work So I'm a goddess, right? Sure, you're a goddess What woman isn't? And some men But what exactly do you do as a goddess? You see, most goddesses of the ancient variety didn't have to do housework,

weren't members of bridge clubs, seldom went shopping with their BFF, had no text messages beeping at them every ten minutes, and didn't work on the side of soccer moms. That's a curious occupation. What time frame was this that there were the soccer moms and the... Never mind, never mind. I'm getting distracted. It's like you

suddenly steal a van full of kids you're a soccer mom. There's not a lot of opportunity to do goddess business when you're stuck in a pair of pantyhose, standing on five inch spike heels in a mini skirt, bendinghose, standing on five-inch spike heels in a miniskirt, bending over a file drawer with a low-cut blouse,

all for the purpose of getting a raise from the boss. What kind of boss do you have? This guy works at Brazzers. Take that any way you like. It's the truth. It's how business is done. No, it totally isn't. Stop watching 70s pornography.

Look, this guy ran a very successful hospital. I think he knows a thing or two about me. Here's your coffee, Mr. Spader. Maybe goddess business is just the title of a porn. So where's the profit in the goddess business is just the title of a porn. So where's the profit in the goddess business? Given that for at least 10 hours a day, you're stuck

in some kind of traffic or other, whether on the freeway or at the water cooler. If we were in grade school, I'd say it's long past due time for recess. In short, a toga party. You know, like they have in grade school.

Time to dress up as a goddess and go into the goddess dimension. The world of goddess miracles. When I complete the levels, not you, me, you'll be able to do just that. Go into a world filled with gods and goddesses, all with miraculous powers.

So I have to dress up in a toga to play a video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because your character is also dressing up in a toga. Do I also have to have very few polygons that render my body? Yes, you render yourself.

Simplification. But I'm a guy. Surely I can't be a goddess. Just because you're manifesting as male at present doesn't mean you're actually male. That needs a Z-snap right there. Gender is such a wild card that it isn't even on the options menu

when entering Rebirth. So a video game is not a video game, but real life actually is a video game. Frank West, you thought I skipped something important? Well, I'd like to know why should I do it if it's all just make-believe anyway? Okay. You'd like to think that. It makes it nice and safe. It's just fantasy, like all those other video games.

War and violence and pestilence and damnation filled with pyro-explosions and booming, screaming bloody hell. Wrong. First of all, those worlds are emphatically not fantasy. They exist somewhere. Ask any scientist. There isn't... Mr. Wizard, are dragons real?

They're real on your hard drive, Timmy. There isn't anyone who would disagree now that they found the god particle within the Hadron Collider. Yay! That's totally what happened. Yes. All right, dance party. Five-minute dance party. See my Hadron Voyager for how to actually operate in other dimensions.

Well, he made an orb about the Hadron. That's wonderful. Yes. I love that. The fact is that when you take the controls, you are actually operating your own body in another dimension. You can see what's happening to that other you on the display screen and hear what that other you hears.

See what he or she sees. Experience it as they do in their world. In an infinite set of parallel worlds, you can find yourself anywhere, anyone, and even any who. Wow, and all for 99 cents. Yeah, but Stog, the Labyrinth is always the same. I get bored so easily. So do I.

I feel your pain, but however, yes, the Labyrinth is always the same, with a few minor additions in each orb for the sake of function, not variety. Frankly, I don't give a damn how easily you get bored. I'm here to see a bomber. What? What? What? I'm here to see a bomber?

Yeah! Uh. Uh. Do we need to call the police? Dear. Out of, like, three inappropriate jokes I'm not going to make right now. Is he saying that every one of these games is basically the same? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. I think that the labyrinth means the shitty nightclub that we've seen rendered so far in screenshots. Awesome. With the purple rug. No, there's another place you go where there's a labyrinth. Oh. Oh, and the labyrinth... And so the labyrinth is literally all the same?

I don't know if you mean... If you're going to make a maze, you're not going to change the... Fuck that. He does a few minor additions. I think he means in all of the goddess levels. Maybe? I don't know. Please just read.

Okay. Okay, keep going, Stock. Do you have any idea what goes in the making of a labyrinth this complex with so many invisible functions as well as visible and audible interactive functions? You don't find a builder for one of these. You do it yourself, and I did. You want a different labyrinth for every occasion? What are you nuts?

You wouldn't have a... I'm here, aren't I? You wouldn't have a different dining room for every menu change, would you? Yet each meal is different to some degree, greater or lesser than any other meal served in that space. Even if it is served on the same table with the same old flatware and tablecloth, chairs

and wall decorations and last year's ratty old carpet. That ratty old one-year-old carpet. Gotta get that shit out of there. One of the lessons to be learned in the Prosperity Orbs is how to handle higher energies in the Fatty old one-year-old carpet. Gotta get that shit out of there. One of the lessons to be learned in the Prosperity Orbs is how to handle higher energies and emotions, but another very important lesson is the lesson of patience. Right. You are mathematically destined to get better drops, i.e. better karma, when you wait for the sound and text message to finish before picking up the next item or opening the next portal.

Boo. Not cool. By the way, if you scroll all the way down the page, you can see that the game itself is being sold by http://www.payloads.com with a Z. That's L-O-A-D-Z.payloads.com with a Z that's L-O-A-D-Z payloads anyway

so okay so that was goddess and that's nice Jay which which character do you find more compelling and do you think will teach you more? William Blake? Hmm. Or Pan?

Let's do Pan. All right. Pan it is. Okay. Pan, just like Goddess, is only 99 cents, available at Payloads.com. Oh, by the way, the guy's name that does this is E.J. Gold. He's working for the liberation of all beings

everywhere. So yeah, tell me a little bit about Pan, if you would. Well, pardon me. Pan. He doesn't have a good reputation these days, being the robish god of robust sex and reproduction. But just you wait until infant mortality rises back to its natural normal level, about 70%, and the birth rate drops to almost zero after the last explosion at Fukushima in 2054. You'll see a resurgence in interest in Pan and his powers of creativity, but it won't do any

good by then. So this is the backstory for the not game? Yeah. Yes. No, this is the backstory for real life. Oh. That's going to happen. Which is mirrored by the game. Spoilers! Duh! Come on, guys! And the screenshot

is a little person wearing denim everything, standing in front of Pan, a couple of fairies, and some goddesses. Yeah. A word about this orb. Pan is a most extraordinary oracle. You awaken to snazzy drumming that goes on and on and never lets up, ever-changing rhythmic fire letting you know.

Wait, how did I get to Bumbershoot? I don't know, but the rhythmic fire is letting you know pan is in the house and boy and boy is he ever talk about presence you'll get to like him he's not the self-regarding thoughtless heartless goat god we've come to know through hollywood mythology no he's quite the opposite. Pan is the most thoughtful considering well-met demigod we could have looking out for us whose steady gaze into our life and mind allows us to open up and let it all out at the feeling level

which is where it really counts. You think Pan would follow your logic? He wants to know how you are and no bull. Pan drinks monster energy drinks. Pan's half-man, half-goat status gives him the unique perspective necessary to pinpoint our particular difficulties with evolving into fully human beings. human beings let me tell you standing there before pan feeling naked and utterly alone with our truth with the drums blasting and the clear sky calling is an experience not to be missed make it your own

look dude i'm not going to burning man so i think the whole game orb is that you stand there and some drums play. And then Penn judges you with his eyes. Like that screenshot might be the game. Ten points. Frank West. Yes. I have two different emotions that you can choose from now.

As you know, we did William Blake versus Penn. But now you get to from now. As you know, we did William Blake vs. Pan. But now you get to choose emotions. Would you like to experience humiliation or approval? Humiliation. The other thing would just be foreign to us.

Approval? Humiliation. approval humiliation we all need a little humiliation now and then and this is the perfect way to get it with yourself in charge running the show from where you really are instead of the body mind earthian thing you've been forced to obey

so boring actually humiliation is part of thing you've been forced to obey. So boring. Actually, humiliation is part of karmic reproduction karmic reduction process and is very highly accepted in many traditions leading hopefully to acceptance and a sense of humility.

I myself have earned the humility award. What's up? I myself have earned the humility award. I believe you. I have earned the humility award several times over the past several millennia, and I keep them proudly displayed on my stage. They're actually Taco Bell wrappers. I don't care who you are or where you came from.

I agree. He's not wrong. Oh my god. I just want to mention from the one you didn't read, the approval. There's a disclaimer on that page that says, you're not allowed to run this orb unless you have parental approval. And that, as we know, is almost impossible for anyone to obtain. I agree, website.

Just work it out. Get it all out there. So this is an orb that I want to talk to you about. And it is called Love 2.0. Now, I have an important thing about that, which is that Love 2.0 is not an update of love. Oh, fuck. This is a new dimension. A new dimension on payloads. And by the way, I did click that because, I don't know, I'm stupid.

And payloads just takes you to PayPal, so it's a good service. Anyway, so Love 2.0. Who doesn't want a little love in their life? But there's a higher love, too, called... Gosh, what is that ancient Greek word for higher conscious love absolute? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! A gape!

What? He does work for Brazzers. I want to high-five you and then immediately wash my hands. Where's the high-five orb? Three days of peace and love. Well, in spite of the publicity and Where's the high five orb? Ha ha ha ha! Ugh! Three days of peace and love. Well, in spite of the publicity and promotion and the absurdly romanticized books about hippies. A gape!

Not the love they spread at Woodstock. What? Which one? Double hyphen. That love resulted in a highly localized baby boom amongst the aquarium age folks who are now quite aquarium aged feel the love of a gape not the love of lust okay right so so yeah so i hate hippies right i've demonstrated that that uh you know that hippies and their dirty, filthy hippie love is just not, it's not right.

Anyway, my friend Harry Nilsson used to say, love is the answer. But think a minute, the answer to what exactly? That's the real issue, not the love. Love is a substance, something that is quantitative. Not the love. Love is a substance, something that is quantitative. And like all substances, it can be handled, moved, directed, pushed, pulled, and manipulated all sorts of ways for all sorts of effects. Just like magnetism, electricity, gravity, heat, light, and ping pong balls. And hair dryers, and power outlets, and toasters.

We'll talk more about that later. Love has a number of manifestations, all of which are irrelevant to the main issue, which is not what is love, no question mark, but more a question of where can I get some? I think this orb will help you. I'll be reading all that. Kumquat's up.

What did you think of my Love 2.0 orb? Did you have a review of it? Testimonial you want to share? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This diff works! It sure does! That's called love, baby! Shortly after running Love 2.0,

I meet someone really special. Did not expect this to happen. Smiley face, incredible stuff! I'm hoping that's actually PK stands for Philip K. Dick. Thanks, dog. You're welcome. Glad he found love. And then, Frank West, PK stands for Philip K. Dick. Thanks, Doc. You're welcome. Glad he found love. And then, Frank West, what did you think of Love 2.0?

Have worked with these remedy orbs for a while now. They are amazing, more than I can describe. I can say from experience with them that they have the ability, with repetition, to powerfully transform your life. And then some. But hey, don't take my word for it. Sure won't! A note to our viewers, don't take this man's word for it. Experience it for yourself.

This will be a great one to start with. And they're free, except for a $1 fee to the download company. Payloads. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Such a deal. Hey, Lemon. I'm really concerned. What's up?

Obviously, orbs are the greatest fucking thing to ever be on a computer But I'm really concerned For our international audience I mean people that don't speak English Have to be able to experience orbs as well Of course Could you tell me about the international options we have?

Oh yeah! Of course I can! Okay here we go So, remedies index Parentheses, translated orbs. Okay? As we generate foreign language translations for orbs, they will be listed here and made available for easy download.

Broken link, end of page. Other people just don't deserve this kind of salvation. You just need to run the orb where that page is a bunch of translation. Oh, fixed website orb. All right. So, Jay, did you find one you wanted to read right there? I did. Okay. What did you want to read right there uh i did okay what did you want to

read well fat burner is here another fucking seth rogan movie the quantum remedy to that unwanted weight a way to realize your desired form and figure in another dimension a dimension right next door to your own experienced runners will attest that once coupling factor is in what happens in that other dimension begins to overlap and transform life experience in your prime dimension the desire to lose a few pounds it's a fine place to begin but the run doesn't end there even those who are trim and without concerns over health and body image may still be fat karma accrues daily in our inner being, our mind, our emotional body. Our essential self may be wrapped in layer after layer of cumbersome weight.

Karma has a weight? It does. The human body is a transformational apparatus. What is done in our flesh form may be linked into our deepest spiritual state and turned into a tool for genuine inner plane progress. What? What? What? malaise into action to project our tinkering with the physical body into a profound benefit within the bardos we must eventually enter what what i don't know is that the voice of like uh randy savage jr i guess so it's so forceful fat burner has a unique departure point a surprise ending brother you are given the opportunity language is a magical device yeah for healing and empowerment through this you may direct the same

to all those around you wow oh my god just okay just don't be surprised when you're focused on being a force for positive change in the world also sees you tightening your belt oh boy right uh stock yes um uh you know i'm i'm i'm a i mean i'm a slight man i'm not a strong man yeah man. I'm worried about the dangers that are out there. And I've always really liked fucking shitty tanks. I like shitty tanks, too. So, can you help me? Yeah, I can help you. This orb comes with a free shitty tank.

It's called Protection. Oh, great! This is something you use to pay the local hoods to prevent accidents from happening to you and your family and your business. Right. It's still a good deal, even today, homie. I used to live in Brooklyn in the 1910s.

So this guy is saying that he's roughly as good a deal as paying protection money for the mob. Hey, listen, you need to open up your third eye over here, buddy. Nice chakra you got. Shame if something happened to it. The local hoods, in this case, happen to be wildly enthusiastic lower deities out to make a name for themselves in the help department. Gabriel wants to reach Capo. Some angels also respond to

requests in this orb. It all depends on what you're open to. Oh, right. Wanna buy some protection? I sure do, Sesame Street Gangster. If you do, that's lucky, because I happen to be in the protection racket. Oh, my God. Wow.

Join me, won't you? Protection orb now uploaded and ready for downloading. Okay, well, that would be the proper section of events, yeah. We all need a little protection now and then. The kind the Mafia sells doesn't work, semicolon. The only thing they protect you is from the cells. If you need some protection spirits guardians around to keep bad things away,

protection is the orb of choice. Not recommended for use as a contraceptive. Although... Whoa! Hmm. Although what? Although what? Hmm, I said.

Hmm. I think the implications are clear. Although you'll never get laid if you play this. Come Quatsap. Yes. I don't want to intro uh, intro this one at all Um, because I feel like I would be doing a disservice

In doing so, but uh Make my life better, won't you? Uh, MetaTool functions Lottery Want to improve your odds of winning? This has nothing to do with winning money at a luck game The lottery of life is what it's all about Your luck is tied to your present karma thing to do with winning money at a luck game. The lottery of life is what it's all about.

Your luck is tied to your present karma. Change your karma and change your luck. Of course the orb didn't work. Your karma is all fucked up. Get your karma better, you'll win the lottery. This is even more focused on the lottery than Lucky Buddha.

If you win the lottery, just remember not to keep all of it for yourself. That's the wrong action that invokes the so-called curse of the lottery right on down. We gave away most of the $15 million we won over 35 years ago, which is why it didn't come down on us.

Just win the lottery to prove to yourself that you are actually in control and that your karma is indeed successfully burning down. Oh my god. Picture of Purple House with stack of money. And anime children. Yeah, I was gonna say they're like

Jet Grand Radio characters or something. They even made a ramp out of money. So we are about ready for the last section. But before we get to that, I want to read a little bit here of something that Stog found. And that is called Tantra. Tantra.

The link on the right will take you to the download page on Payloads. Trepidior is a modest 99 cents. This is a one-time fee. There are no in-game fees or charges. Okay, here we go. Don't let its reputation fool you.

Tantra has uses you wouldn't even dream of. Nominally of use in the lower organics. It really has its functionality plugged into the higher levels of meta.

It has been long known that sexual energies can be aroused. Period. Stop there. So the last section we're going to get into here is called Testimonials, which has been subtitled in the document. Testimonials, a.k.a. Read This, F+. All right.

Let's get to some testimonials, a.k.a. read this, F+. All right. Let's get to some testimonials here. I guess let's just go in order here. So let's go Frank West, Jay, Kumquats, Up, Stog, me, and then loop back around. I'm not going to remember that. All right. So, yeah, Frank, you got a testimonial for us? I do. I just want to thank you for helping me overcome my stage fright.

I hope others will use the orbs in the same way. Me too. I have had great success by using courage, fear, and shyness with a dash of goddess. Stage is the perfect place to manifest. I'm experimenting with pride and self-esteem now to see if that

will enhance my stage time. But I just wanted to say thank you. Love, love, and love, Callie. I mean, thank God she was doing a play that was a toga party. Why is she wearing a toga for open mic night?

It's not... Before running the QED orb, I was a real knuckle-dragger. Now my attention is hooked up to a star. Essay, Dallas, Texas. Am loving the UGG orbs and passing them on to friends. Please thank EJ, Cloud, and everybody else who have brought these gifts to the world.

It is especially moving to run the orbs for others. KB. Just rant surrender. Highly recommended as a staple meditation. I also noted that, unlike certain other power orbs, this one allows

inventory drop, and you can see I placed the prosperity amulet in the psychedelic energy room for pickup. Oh yeah, you can see I've placed the Prosperity Amulet in the Psychedelic Energy Room for pickup. Oh, yeah, I can see that. It's self-explanatory, really. We'll try to capture a good screenshot during my next run, but

you can also build a Superstar with Lava Room pickups. Take them to a desired location, unload, superimposing them, and pick up your surrender, superstar. Amazing. Wow. That is amazing.

I've been running cancer killer for some people. Oh, Jesus. And I'm not in jail yet. And I have to tell you, it's the most amazing orb. Everything about this is superior. Superior to what? Superior to other video games that kill cancer? And it feels real.

Amazingly, it's only 51.4 megabytes. What is EJ doing? Dark magic. Dark programming magic. Oh, the compression engine is just too good. I want to stay in the Chamber of Healing forever. Well, maybe a long time. There is overall a feeling of health, what

health should be, and is mostly the absence of something our egos? Enty. So I acquired E.J. Gold's game, Fear,

and for 99 cents, it is delightfully strange. I'm sure that's true. A bit like Quake, only instead of picking up a grenade launcher and ammo, I head into the Bardo with an assumed form. Grab the American Book of the Dead and implement fear reduction while burning karma. Oh, sure, that's a lot like Quake. That's a lot like Quake. It's a lot like Quake. It's Quake, but without the violent parts. Just the storyline.

And there are tarot readings, teddy bear hugs, and demon pigs. Just like real life beyond life. Yeah. I have discovered a new use for the Energize Orb. Trance dancing or ESD.

I put on the orb and let it run. It might be fun to have an orb dance loop. I'd also vote for Zombie Jamboree and the new Shake Your Buddha. Smiley from Monday's music session. Dub C. Shake, shake, shake. The dog is now recovering health. What?

What? I fucked him with this game. She had very deep wounds in its hind legs. Serious injuries. I ran the orb, heal my pet for her. And her wounds began to bleed profusely. It worked great! Oh shit, it did Suffer Dog.

The Suffer Dog orb. I was scared, but I had confidence in the effect of the orb. When she bled, the infection was expelled and began to recover. I had a great opportunity to test the effect of Prosperity Path. Muchas gracias. Air Spain. You're welcome, SA I got the love orb to work

Yeah Yeah Yeah Sa, di moi I got the love orb to work on the Acer Aspire 1 mini laptop It was all operator error

LOL Once I found out how to move this morning laptop. It was all operator error. LOL. Once I found out the how to move this morning, and how the mouse works with the keys... Wow! Holy shit! Whoa, whoa. I spent 45 minutes in Love Orb, got negative

5,000-something karma, so I'm gonna say yay! Thanks! SC California. Was meditating 5,000-something karma, so I'm gonna say yay! Thanks. SC California. Was meditating this morning and this came to me. The orbs are a vehicle for the channeling

of the guru's blessing power and getting people receptive. You plug yourself into the grace stream of the guru and the vibrational frequency of that grace kiss to work on tuning the system. You literally ended up with an ellipsis. All right, let's do one more round of testimonials because there's so many of these. There's a lot.

And this is just the ones on the testimonials page. Right. Not the ones on the testimonials page. Right. Not the ones in the actual games. Starting to notice residences between love orb space and Anstinian. This space. As I coquiously move my orb character with grace, I notice I behave with here more impeccably. Jim H.

What does that mean? You can finger somebody better? Is that what you were saying? A-yo, A-yo. Hey, what? I think that the Prosperity game is absolutely amazing. The bomb. A genius game even without acknowledging the self-help part

and the magic field behind the shell it is gorgeous fun and fast considering the graphics which are the best graphics i have ever seen on a game although there are games that are photorealistic war games so you can really see someone get murdered with a real gun and people might believe that quality is the true apex, but those people are those people for now. It's got the best quality, except for the people that think that quality means quality. Peace out. You guys are the shit.

MC Canada. And the Tim Hortons. It's J-Rock. I just ran the Hadron Orb with the Matrix, Beacon, and Ami all set in their places. F-S Chicago. Wait.

What? What happened? The Matrix Beacon and Ami were all sat in their places and then he ran the Hadron Orb. They all sat in their, like, at the dinner table? Yeah, no, it was a race. Look, if you really want a more specific answer, you're gonna have to ask

F.S. Chicago. Two nights ago, I was dreaming and realized that I was in the Bardos. I think this game is helping create a continuity of consciousness. TM. Prosperity Path games are like getting a full-body astral body massage followed by a metaphysical fitness training session. Wow.

So, F+, did we learn anything from this episode? People will believe New Age bullshit about anything, in any form. I tried so hard to learn what this was. Yeah. I don't think I'm up to the task. I mean, you know, 99 cents to payloads will fix that problem. It sounds so dirty. I learned that

there is a single player second life. There is. That's absolutely what it is. I like all of the sub-nav things. For example, if you go on the top nav, the sub-nav will change

depending on it. Under testimonials, it'll say, recent testimonials, fear and running for others. And then, you seem different. I think if I learned one thing, I learned Windows, yes, and Mac, run. I did actually find one foreign translated. He's translated one orb. Okay. He translated the Lord Buddha orb.

Great. And it is named El Señor Buddha. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

El Señor Buddha. El Señor Buddha. And then the rest of the text is in English. I feel like this was definitely something that just came out of somebody that at one point tried to make a video game, sucked at it, and it's a little bit, this is almost like the L. Ron Hubbard approach.

Oh, I grew up I don't know. I grew up around people not very far separated from this basically surrounding me at all times which is the joy of having living in the liberal parts of Massachusetts. Go on.

This is a man, I'm almost confident here, that this is a man who believes all of these things and did, and then was like, these guys always have to find a hook? A new way to deliver with a thing they're doing? This is his hook. He knew a little bit about how to make a 3D model move around

in a game, and he's just like, this is my hook. I can make another dimension. Yeah, I guess that's true because it's the same fucking self-helpy bullshit that you just get over and over again of this self-actualization of like, oh, believe that you're successful and then you're successful. I mean, that's really what's happening, except for there's a medium now. I think that the Dr. John Kitchen comparison is an apt one because if Dr. John Kitchen knew how to make a 3D model,

we would have executables you could put on your Windows computer about blood and semen. This guy genuinely believes this, and he has made single-player Second Life to tell you how to you know make your pet stop bleeding yeah it's like 20 years ago he'd be playing like some new age guitar stuff and selling it like in the back of a magazine is therapeutic music you know hey it's all shit to sell right um uh the uh the other thing i found funny was like so you know in all the orbs, it's broken into categories. And there's a seance category with the four people that you can contact via seance. William Blake, of course, Harry Houdini, Elvis Presley, and Annie Oakley.

She was available. It's a good get. Oh, I see. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess, you know, there's an appearance fee. And with the 99 cents. I mean, any time you have, like, a third-party licensed game, you know, you've got to make certain sacrifices. The website is always thefbl.us. We want to sell you shit.

And we also want you to come to Ball Pits. Anyone here go to that website? Never heard of it. A ball is kind of like an orb. That's true. Oh my god. We got a whole pit of them. That'll make your life better in immeasurable ways. Come to orbhole.com

That's O-R-B-H dot O-H It's actually an umlaut in it as well. It's O-R-B-H dot O-H. It's actually a new. Umlaut in it as well. All right. Bye-bye. Bye.

Goodbye. When we die, buildings and bridges will rust. No heaven in the sky, no burning gates on clouds and stuff. The monuments we build will crumble and decay someday. As an update, Curiosity got the best of us, and I spent t-shirt money on buying these orbs. As a result, the F+, is doing our first ever video game live stream, The F+, Plays, Earth the Game. The details are in the show notes for this episode on the F plus is doing our first ever video game live stream. The F plus plays earth. The game,

the details are in the show notes for this episode on T H E F B L dot U S. And also in those show notes will be our full length commercial for our sponsors. Cyberpower PCs, cyberpower, your agony is our ecstasy. Outro Music