The F Plus - 199: Episode #799

Episode Date: January 1, 2016

This episode comes to you from 600 episodes in the future! In that time, there are people who go to a poorly designed forum and say completely improbable things about themselves and how they got here, and these improbable things go completely unchallenged by the other posters on the forum. More importantly, they share schematics of how you can build your very own time machine. This week, The F Plus develops really negative opinions about Einstein.

Okay, I am now not touching you. Oh, yeah. I noticed you're not touching me. Mm-hmm. Hey, how come you weren't supposed to turn around if the commissar was in town? Like, don't turn around, uh-oh. The commissar's in town, uh-oh.

I don't understand how those two lines relate to each other. Because the commissar is always behind you. I don't know. That was Falco B-Side Talk. Yay! What is going on? It's just like love. You can have anything you can hold in your hand

and a hero is always alone. At the end of the day, it's a price that you pay With your pieces of love, all your pieces of love And it's my time to turn you around And it's my time to hold out a hand And it's my time to turn around This is the F Plus Podcast. A majestic and thought-provoking place for terrible things read with enthusiasm.

In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. Okay, people. It has become clear to me that nothing I'll say can convince you I'm from the future. Frank West. The whole T-Tor saga, time travel, and the entire universe for that matter, all revolve around a sweet and beautiful girl who happens to be a friend of mine kumquats up if it's a 25 success rate you should be able to try it four times and it will work at least once yes fun yes laws of physics allow time travel nasa proved it with

the astronauts running an experiment with clocks on earth and clocks in space. And Lemon. Do you actually believe all the stuff about Bill Cosby? Have you never heard of the Illuminati? Ooh. Wow. Cover up, man. Cover up. There he is. No, it's, uh...

Okay. My time to hold on and it's my time to turn on the light for you. My time, it's my time. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Hey, do you guys feel like you were born and live in the wrong time? and live in the wrong time. Do you feel like elegant, educated men that should be living in a time where there were more fedoras?

I think we're living now in the most fedora-rich point in history. Like, people in 1955 would be like, whoa, take it easy on the fedoras there. In 2060, they're going to look back at this time as peak fedora. Maybe peak indoor fedora. Peak indoor fedora. Be like, you know, the old

douchebag signifier with the double pop collar. I mean, you could get a double fedora going on, right? Like a little fedora that's like green and then a... It's a fedora where the brim has brims. Oh, that's very nice. Anyway, this episode has

nothing to do about that. I want to bring us all to a delightful place called TimeTravelForum.net TimeTravelForum is a place where time travelers can kick their shoes up and talk about their experience being time travelers.

It was one of many, many submissions by Ms. Blank over a period of time. She went on a fucking rampage. And this is a recent one and one that you're looking at and very much like. So, yeah, we're going to learn a little bit about time travelers. So by time travelers, you mean people who really liked the Journeyman project CD-ROM games? No, I mean, that's a super deep cut that nobody gets, but that's...

I get it, but I want to know why. Yeah, I was waiting for more. No, these are people who travel through time, honest to God. Oh, like actual time. Yeah, T-I-M-E. So like John's future, for example.

He's on this forum. And Boots, if you'll take him, please. Sure. I'm John's future. Hello, my name is John Phillips, and I'm a time traveler from 2037. You're not a time traveler. Sorry, I'm a time travel.

An abstract concept from 2037. So I bet a lot of you are asking, why are you here? What's your purpose? Why should we believe you? And many, many more. So I will answer any questions you can possibly think of as long as I think it won't change the future. I hope you have fun! Wow.

Wouldn't almost anything you ask change the future? Snake, you've changed the future! I'm excited about changing the future and so is, is it L the Blaze? I think it's I the Blaze. I the Blaze. It's fun if you'll take that one, please.

It he Blaze. Hey, I the Blaze. I the Blaze. It's fun if you'll take that one, please. It he Blaze. Hey, I'm I the Blaze. I'm a cat wearing a purple star. Do you know anyone here? Where are you going to spend Turkey Day tomorrow?

Are the ETs still hiding in 2037? So you travel through time, but then Thanksgiving is a constant? Like you can change year, but you can't change day? Is that how it works? Well, no, I'm now in the present. Well, since he's coming back from 2037, he's asking where you spent Turkey Day tomorrow, November 26, 2015.

Because that's a thing you remember. Oh, okay. Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, cool. Anyway,'s a thing you remember. Oh, gotcha. Anyway, I have one last question. Have they captured a Bigfoot yet? Hey! I've got answers to all four of your questions.

To the first question, yes. Yes, I do. I do know anyone here. Number two, I bought a turkey and I got an apartment, so you guess they could say I'm staying home. Three ETs not familiar with the aberrations. Can you tell me what that means? Really?

Really? The time traveling forum that's too jargony for you? Wow. Do you think he meant abbreviations? Yeah, maybe. Not familiar. And it's not even an abbreviation. It's an acronym.

But, okay. I mean, it's not even an abbreviation. It's an acronym. But, okay. I mean, technically, it is still an abbreviation. You abbreviated it. What about my last question? About Bigfoot? Yeah. No. Boy, this is exciting.

They haven't captured it yet. This is an exciting Q&A so far. I time-traveled. It's boring. That's why he went back here. These are exciting times. I think Lieutenant He-Blaze is going to be disappointed. Lieutenant He-Blaze.

Yeah, that's pretty good. And then, come Quatsop, you are Walt Willis on the second page. I am Walt Willis. Okay, you're on. Number one. Can you or will you Describe the device We didn't say that there was a device Okay

Number two, can you see some of companies That help build the device Number three Can you tell us the place of birth You come from Number four, will you share with us the year of your birth? Alright. Alright.

Thank you for asking questions in the proper number of four. Yeah. Which I think is, I guess, standard? Yeah, and enumerated. Yeah, enumerated questions. So, enumerated answer number one. My device is sort of complicated.

It's a porter potty. Really? That's some smelly time travel. It's a guy carrying a potty. Oh, I thought it was as opposed to a stout potty. Yeah, it's a guy on a train carrying a potty. That's my potty porter. It's always occupied, so no one goes in it.

It's hidden in a school field, too. Blending in with other porta-potties. Oh, good. I'm glad you're around schools. The Army helped build the device. That is a company, yes. The company of the Army. Things are different in the future. Isn't there companies in the Army?

Oh, privatization of the Army in 2037. Wow. I just cracked the code. Things are different in the future. Oh, I see. Privatization of the army in 2037. Wow. I just cracked the code. I was born in a small town on Long Island, New York, and no, I live in this universe. I don't think small towns exist on Long Island, New York. And I was born in 1999. Okay.

That was not a question. I mean, the universe thing. That wasn't a question you were posed Does the Martian have anything to ask? Uh I don't have anything to ask Am I on page three? Page four actually Oh

Because he says something on page two Which is boring Well Walt Willis has something to say about his answers Go on Yes Sure you do Well, Walt Willis has something to say about his answers. Go on. Yes, sure you do. And Mickey Mouse was just another soul brother with large ears.

Goodbye, jackass. Whoa. Whoa. Dismissed. I'd also like to point out that for whatever reason in the time travel forum, as soon as you travel into it, you end up on paranormalist.com. Yeah, that is interesting, huh? Time travel forum.

Well, I think as soon as you click on any of the forum links, you enter an alternate dimension. Oh, yeah. Like a paranormal thing, or just in a different time? Maybe this is... Paranormalist is the only website that actually has a paranormal thing? Or just in a different time? Maybe this is... Paranormalist is the only website that actually has a time tunnel? Sure. Anyway, Frank West, what do you got? I'm Martian.

LOL. I've long maintained that the best way for a time traveler to evade detection is to look like a hoaxer. That'll be my strategy if I ever succeed with time travel. Okay. I don't believe you, so therefore I believe you. LOL means laugh out loud, right? Internet acronyms are lost

technology in 2000. Clearly! In the future, we write everything out. It's whatever's after emojis. That's how people communicate in 2037. A post-emoji America. So another thread, sort of another introduction from a time traveler, and that is a post from Physics vs. Jaden. His avatar is like a 3D

rendering of H.G. Wells' The Time Machine. It kind of looks like if The Time Machine was in that game Dismount. Nobody gets that. Anyway. That would be awesome. Video game deep cuts! Time Dismount, it would be like the bad guy

dying at the end of Time Cop. It just turns into a red goo. It was this German art game where you pushed a man down the stairs. Anyway, so my name is Physics Versus Jaden. Hello, my name is Jaden, and I come from the year 2040. Now, there are so many people who claim to be time travelers. So in that case, since I know the future, I honestly don't want you to believe me. You like that?

Okay. I'm also not using reverse psychology. Unless you're using double reverse psychology, leading us to think you're not using reverse psychology. Interesting. Ask me anything you could possibly ever ask me, but there are certain questions I will not answer, but I will always give my honest opinion about a John Titor question. So look that up.

Anyway, warning, I'm not staying here long, as I just wanted to revisit my childhood, so I'm only staying here until March I just wanted to revisit my childhood so I'm only staying here until March 1st, 2016 Okay? So he's still around I know it sounds a while away but I want to see how you guys celebrated

a lot of the holidays I don't remember like Valentine's Day So, ask me anything So, if you're a time traveler, you have a limit on the time that you can stay in a time. Well, come plaza up, your name is Einstein. Yeah. How about telling us about time? What is time?

The magazine. Yeah, it's all caps time, so time the magazine. Time is nothing. Time is just something used by humans to tell the date, year, past, present, future. From a theoretical stance, yes, time is something. But to me, time is something that humans use and it doesn't really exist. me time is something that humans use and it doesn't really exist if also i think i think of all the people who need to ask what time is einstein shouldn't be the one no what happened was einstein went forward in time asked what it was and then went back with

the knowledge oh great um if you were asking about time travel, here's how I travel through time. You have to go at the speed of light. This goes between you and I over and over again. It's very confusing. You have to go at the speed of light to go back into the past. But how do you get back into the future? You need to travel at the negative speed of light. The speed of light is a vector, you idiot.

You can't go backwards at the speed of light. You'll always be going in forwards and some directions. Okay, whatever. No, it makes so much sense. You just put the time machine in reverse and then look over your shoulder with the steering wheel. It's like the end of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where he couldn't get the miles to go off.

Yeah, he just put it up. I do not want to reveal how to do that, though, because if I do, it would be a major breakthrough. It isn't even supposed to happen yet, even though it's okay for us to travel the other way in time. That's fine. Sorry for taking so long to

respond. Just getting used to these keyboards. Okay, Scotty from that one Star Trek movie. Thanks. In the future, everyone uses Dvorak keyboards. Only hipsters use QWERTY. Only obnoxious Linux nerds use QWERTY in 2040

Linux is still the weird nerdy thing okay so this topic here is called hello 2013 and Frank West your name is A.V. And Frank West, your name is Avi... Avi Vegger, I think? Avi Vegger.

But actually, my name is Floyd Ellison. Great, thanks. And I am a time traveler. Okay. I am not supposed to be in 2013. But since I am here, I have decided to join this forum to ease my loneliness until the time I am capable to continue my journey. It's a good thing I found this totally obscure time travel forum.

Please allow me to tell you a bit about myself. I left from the year 2043. I believe that I am 19 years old, but I can't be sure. I wasn't around for all of it. How many boners do you have per day? We're on the internet, Lemon. The boner never goes away. Nobody shuts off the boner factory.

I am an orphan who was found living on the streets of a mostly abandoned Dalmatovo. I traveled back in time in a homemade machine that was built by myself and a few others in a small underground group. I am really not all that great at introductions, so please just ask me questions. I am willing to answer to the best of my abilities. Okay, great. Great, okay, cool. So, yeah, just a simple question. My name's Sam's Twitch.

So, like, Samantha from Bewitched. Her Twitch. That's what my name is. Hi, AVVegar. Welcome to Paranormalist. There's my question. Do you have an answer to it? Oh, do you?

I do have an answer. Oh, boy. I guess I should go ahead and give the story of who I am in 2013. During the 2020s, the last of the rebels were trying to reorganize a new anti-government initiative after their failed revolution. The revolution is still in its beginning here in 2013, but there are still a few years left until things are successfully violent. The revolution is worldwide, but the outcomes in the world's superpowers will have more open interviews. This is like Experience Project at this point. Hey, people ask me anything.

Hi, welcome. Oh, that's somebody responding. That means I can talk about myself. Skip several sentences. I can't pick out... It's a block of text. Start reading random words. Superpowers, governments, undesirables,

orphan, absent, governmental records. Is it true, Aval Vector, is it true that youval Beggar, is it true that you were taken by a local underground cell? Uh, Control-F. Because I think you were taken by a local underground cell.

Taken by shows up nothing. Oh, I was taken in by a local underground cell because I do not have ID implants. Unfortunately, a cell safehouse got raided by police and the cell scattered. One of the members took me and smuggled me across

countries until I was taken in by an American cell. I was raised as a child to be a spy and thief by the cell for about four years before I began receiving field missions. Field missions like posting on this forum? Yeah.

Yes. This is important stuff, man. My cell sent me some... My cell sent me to Dr. H at that time. I want to protect the identity of this doctor who hasn't been born yet. No, but Dr. H hasn't been introduced before this. It just comes up like that.

You know, Dr. H. Everybody knows Dr. H. Dr. H realized how hopeless our war had become and decided that extraordinary methods should be taken to prevent the need for revolution. Okay, okay. Jesus.

Eventually Okay, okay Jesus Blah, blah, blah Eventually Something happened He programmed himself his own software He's flipping through his Shadowrun book Looking for more ideas Jesus It's very hard to parse this After a few months

After a few months of testing and historical debate, it was decided that I would go back to January 1st, 1840. You've been hanging out here ever since? Apparently. One day there will be a forum. I left on 27-10-2043 and came back to 12-8-2013. The computer tells me that the machine received damage from exotic particles at the moment of time travel, and the

safeguard split me back into the normal flow of time at the earliest date that I was anchored to. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was trying to go... It's like a Gilligan's Island story. Like, he was trying to go to 1840, but then there was some rough weather.

Yeah. Exotic particles. The particles you save your ones for. Watch out for those. And this is the last piece from the introduction section of the documents. And it is called, Hello, sorry for intruding. Isvan, if you'll take that, please.

Hello, sorry for intruding. Hello. Your if you'll take that, please. Hello, sorry for intruding. Hello. Your name is Catherine. You're a junior member. Nobody's got a high post count on this forum. No. They never stick around long enough. Except for Einstein, who has like 2,000 posts.

No, never mind. I'm wrong. He's collecting as much as possible for us to go back to the early 20s. The other participant in this thread is Time Flipper, who has 2,073. So, never mind. I found someone with 4000. Exactly. Hi, my name is Catherine. I came here from

2046. It's comforting to use one of these computers again. I remember them from when I was a child. Computers are all sharp and pointy now. They're once again the size of buildings. Computers 31

years from now are terribly drab. Sorry, I'm getting off topic. What? They're not much to look at. How fashionable is your computer? It's a great Apple crash of 2022. Well, I did buy my computer from CyberPowerPC,

so it is blinged out and broken. Yeah! Catherine Faye Johnson, to be exact. I was born in the year 2000, and I am part of the first group in my future to quote-unquote perfect time travel. I put that in quotes as we had not worked out how to move forwards

in time. If only there was out how to move forwards in time. If only there was a way to move forwards through time. At the time of me volunteering to use the machine. Since I am stuck here, I may as well tell you the events that occurred up to my departure. I'm not sure whether me... Is she in a library or a public library or something? Anyway. I'm not sure whether me posting this or even typing this will change anything in the future, but I must tell my timeline.

You must? And here's the timeline. 2016, UN places more sanctions on Russia. I believe that. 2017, the Islamic State has been nearly defeated. What remembers remain live in hiding. That kind of defeats the purpose of the Islamic State. Really? So just like all Islamist... what? It defeats the purpose of the Islamic State. Really? So just like all Islamist... what?

NATO-Russian tensions raise dramatically as Russia annexes eastern Belarus. Racial tensions in southern USA reach breaking point, semicolon. Many battles between the races can be seen. That's a weird way to word that, but okay. 2018, Chinese Communist Party's power is fading rapidly. Palestine recognized as a sovereign state by US, UK, France, China and Russia. We're three years away from that. Yeah. That's exciting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's weird that everything that's happened with Palestine has been in the other direction, but I guess, you know, it's just so that the backswing is really severe. Yeah. It soon after joins the UN in 2019. Nothing noteworthy occurs in 2019

It was kind of a drab year I mean we got peace in the Middle East So we kind of took a year off 2019 was terribly drab Just like you 2020 Eurozone on the brink of collapse Oh then is when it happens.

Yeah. Oh, no. In 2020, there's going to be problems with the Euro? Isn't Eurozone that pop contest? Yeah. Because of the terribly drab revolution. There's no flamboyant acts to go into. Anyway. Kim Jong-un suffers from an undisclosed disease.

Mm-hmm. The ISS is retired, sunk into the Atlantic Ocean. He's given up a fucking funeral. Take that, International Space Station. Yeah.

I like to think that people are still bored when they do that. It's like, no, we're retiring it now. They just hit a big red button. Guys, can we just... Can we hold off for a couple minutes?

With what, the shuttle program? We don't have that anymore. Bye. Bloop. Yeah. Ask Elon Musk to come get you. SpaceX. He never answers my tweets.

2021, Chinese Communist Party loses power. People's Republic of China falls. People's Republic of China falls Republic of China gains control and begins environmental repair program .exe Okay U.S. declares martial law In the southern states Citizens outraged

Like you wouldn't even be able to tell the difference Lots of guns and angry white people down here. Yeah. 2022, Islam outlawed in U.S. No mention of Trump getting elected. Mexican government on brink of collapse. Okay. 2023, Kim Jong-un dies.

His young five-year-old son, Kim Chung-min, gains power. Doesn't know how Korean names work, but that's cool. U.S. declares martial law nationwide. Oh. It doesn't say anything about the citizens being outraged about that. No. So, yeah, it's cool. That's actually working out pretty well, actually.

You notice how all these timelines get really exciting and sci-fi, Tom Clancy, future tech and stuff. Also, you're really good at remembering the specific years that things happened like 30 years ago for you. Yeah. Yeah, if you asked me what happened in 2005, I'd be like, Hurricane Katrina. Uh, yeah. Okay. Second American Civil War begins.

Five factions vie for control of America. I will not name them. Oh, like the end of a Fallout game. Yeah. You have to choose one and increase your reputation with that faction. The winner was Carl's Jr. Yes. Eurozone collapses.

World economy experiences the worst depression in history. Hawaii becomes an independent nation, and Alaska becomes a Canadian province. Oh, good for you, Boots. Yeah. Yay. You get Alaska. Great.

Yep. I also get Alaskans. Yep. Yeah, I was going to say, if Canada gets Alaska, they will suddenly become the most heavily armed nation on Earth. Skipping just a little bit here. Oh yeah, this keeps going. Are we...

Are we... I feel like we're just changing the Earth so that it's a risk board. Like we're simplifying the Earth so that it's a risk board. Yeah. Like, we're simplifying the nations so that we can play risk on it, right? Well, for example, like, in 2029, North Ireland gets captured by Ireland. Sure.

Yeah. Let me guess, it was a land invasion. Yeah. So, yeah, so then there's a whole lot of sort of, like, Canadian and Russian intrigue that happens for a while, but it's not particularly interesting. What happens in 2035? Oh, 2035. Well, that was quite a time to be alive, let me tell you. Not one of those years where nothing happens. Yeah, this was not a drab year.

Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Denmark, and Greenland unite to form the Nordic Federation. The Koreas are unified. North Korea rapidly modernizes. Oh, boy. Yeah, that... Oh, boy. They got a lot of axes to bury there. Yeah.

It doesn't go into detail about how this happens. You know... Okay. Listen, you don't want to ruin the space-time continuum. You're Korea, I'm Korea! Let's hang out! Yeah, right here. The new Islamic State, NIS,

rolls off the NIS, is formed and gains power almost unopposed as former world powers cannot spare manpower to stop them. That sounds familiar. I have a question. What happened in 2040? Oh, 2040.

Well, let me see here. I don't you in the back. What happened in 2040? Oh, 2040. Well, let me see here. I don't think anything noteworthy occurred in 2040. And then in 2041? UN headquarters moved to Japan. The World Orbital Station, or WOS, has been launched, and a lunar installation is built. Six people sent to it to try living in it.

I like the way that's worded. Let's fucking give it a shot. I don't know. We'll either live or we'll die. They didn't test it out. They just threw some people in there to try living in it. Chinese Yuan replaces the American dollar as the currency of trade.

Oh, that one. Nice. Yeah. 2046, Timestream Labs perfects, quote-unquote, time travel, begins human testing. And I have made a map of the world by 2046. It's a risk board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got this color-coded map, but then, like then none of the colors are indicated in any way.

The lines are obviously drawn by hand. Also, you'd never... I don't think there's anywhere in that explanation where it explains how the Great Lakes got filled in. Oh, well, you know, that global warming. Also, apparently Canada only got half of Alaska. Yeah, and also the eastern U.S. got most of Alaska. Well, we skipped over it, but there was a war between Russia and Canada for Alaska. Oh, God.

Sure. I haven't played Fallout ever during the years of time that I wrote this. Snake Plissken number seven and time flipper like this. skin number seven and time flipper like this it doesn't say anything about new york being a prison colony uh yeah so uh section number one there uh was labeled uh by ms blank as a section number one let's meet the triumph travelers um that goes on for a while and then section two is called now let's just sort of bullshitshit About Alternative Dimensions. Yay. Sure. All right.

So, Boots, your name is Num7, and this is either the title of your post or the name of your twee-pop band. Yep. Planet of the Dolphins. Yeah, I'm going to go into it. Planet of the Dolphins. Imagine I'm gonna go into it Planet of the Dolphins Imagine a timeline in which humans didn't evolve

But dolphins did Sure, okay I definitely have played Sim Earth, yes Okay Maybe the dolphins would have become an unexpected sentient species Sure Do you think, because of the Unexpected by whom? unexpected sentient species. Sure. Do you think because of the...

Unexpected by whom? The only reason they didn't is because man was too much in their way. Right, right, right. They stole all the thinky meat. Yeah. Was God going to be like, well, this was unexpected? Do you think that such a specie, singular... Oh, Num7 has 7,547 posts.

Oh, Num7 has 7,547 posts. Oh, boy. God. Would need to exist on land or can possibly advance civilization and evolve underwater? I guess it all depends on what kind of creatures we're talking about. But since dolphins are perfectly made to live and thrive underwater... Except for the whole fucking breathing air part. Yeah. I'm wondering if they might have been able to evolve enough in the right direction to become a sentient and advanced species underwater. Or they absolutely need to exist on land in order to technologically evolve. Wow, there's a lot you don't understand.

Since the title of this discussion is reminiscent of the classic movie Planet of the Apes, I'll ask the following. I mean, it's a lot more like that one Treehouse of Horror where the dolphins take over Springfield. Crickets! The sound of crickets! Crickets! Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp!

Crickets! I'm sure somebody watched that. Crickets! I only watch old episodes of The Simpsons and I think that makes me cooler some shit. Do you think that in a distant future after which mankind's civilization will basically self-destruct with nuclear

its own weapons dolphins might suddenly evolve, emerge and take control of the earth like the apes did in the movie? Crazy, right? Suddenly evolve. I do think that because radiation wouldn't ever affect the oceans. It'd be like, oh, there's a whole big radioactive cloud,

but obviously if you're underwater, it's cool, you're fine. Yeah, it bounces off. Because radiation is the same as light, which bounces off. Suddenly a dolphin evolved. Radiation helps you evolve? It's called mutation? But yes, dolphins are intelligent animals So why the hell not? Why, why

No reason why the hell not Um Um I don't want to read Eye of the Blaze No, that's So, instead, we're going to move on To the Nazi timeline. Oh, it's another one from Num7.

Oh, boy. So, Kumquats up. Tell me about the Nazi timeline. This is a discussion in alternate histories and timelines. Hello, I'm Num7. I know some of you have heard about it before. It's the timeline in which Hitler won World War II and a lot of countries became under their control. Yep, certainly have heard of that.

Fast forward to 2015, we have a weird world that is nothing like what we know here and now. Imagine the Nazi States of America. We're already there, dude! Ooh, edgy. Ellipsis, Nazi USA, broken image. A new Ice Cube album?

I have a question. Are you ready for my question? Yep. How many death and destruction do you think happened? Twelve. Thank you! Do you think that world would be more evolved and technologically advanced than we currently are in 2015? Who really knows?

It might be that crazy. What about the space race of the 60s? Did any of that happen? Do they have iPhones with a swastika logo instead of an Apple? Are they running iOS 9? I mean, iOS no.

iOS no. Sorry, I couldn't keep that one to myself. Whoa! Okay, jokes aside, what else do you know about that timeline? What did you hear or think about? What were the odds of that timeline to myself. Whoa! Okay, jokes aside, what else do you know about that timeline? What did you hear or think about? What were the odds of that timeline to happen? I wouldn't have thought this guy has trouble keeping dumb ideas to himself.

In this timeline, iPhones with the swastika logo would be like iPhones with the American flag on the back. It's like it could be a corporate logo and the symbol of your government. The Nazis have really strong branding.

I drew iPhones with swastikas on it for my new TechCrunch cartoonist column. Take that, establishment. Boy, oh, someone should be Einstein. Oh, somebody will be Einstein. Oh, boy, Einstein, what has be Einstein. Oh boy, Einstein. What has happened to you? Okay, look.

I've come across little tidbits of info that suggest Hitler might have been the good guy. Hmm, interesting theory, Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein.

Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein.

Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein.

Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein.

Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein.

Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein

Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein Einstein I don't know where I would have read that. But he refused to use it because there was no defense against it. That's what I read. That's what I read. That's what makes him a genius. That's how war works. Hitler was about fair play, you know.

Yeah. Well, okay. So, look, I know what you're thinking, okay? I know what you're thinking. What about the extermination of the Jews? Did he have it in for the Jews? Or was he merely... Oh!

Yeah, you didn't read that sentence, did you? Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, that took a turn. Did he have it in for the Jews? Or was he merely trying to eradicate greed? Oh, boy. Well, seeing as how he

used the word Jews a lot in his speech, yes, I think he had it in for the Jews. I am pouring more blackberry moonshine. Why did you take the name Einstein? Because I'm smart. That's why. Oh, my God. Just think of how much nicer the world would be without, you know, greed.

Right. You know what I mean by greed. Right. Am I right, folks? Yeah. I think it has been pointed out that technologies were much more highly developed under Hitler's regime. We might all have flying cars today, taking vacation on the moons of Saturn.

Well, I had to read Einstein, which disgusts me, so Frank West, you get to read a guy agreeing with me. And it didn't take long either. It's the very next post. I'm Snake Plissken, and I have to agree with Einstein. Many of the world's problems would not be existing in the Nazi timeline. Okay.

Yep. Sure. I actually think the Nazi timeline was more probable than the one we inhabit. Huh? Probably like 60-40-ish. We're the one country... Okay.

Yep. Yep. Okay. Yep. In the context of now, the Nazi prime timeline was more probable. Yep, we beat the odds. Wow. The Germans lost the war because of Hitler. They even tried to assassinate him themselves.

If that had worked, then we could all be goose-stepping our way down the road and know nobody. I would like to point out. That was great, except for the whole Hitler part. I would like to point out the word could. As in, the hopeful could. This guy imagines the alternate universe where the Nazis won, where everybody, like kids, are just goose-stepping.

That's what I was going to say. A goose-step is a march. It's not a way of walking. This is how walking is now. In order to get to the bus, in order to get to the bus, goose-step five blocks. Think of how difficult that would be to get on a

subway. You'd need so much room. To go upstairs, you'd have to zigzag. Can you imagine the Stairmaster exercise equipment? Let's actually do something for the obesity epidemic. Yeah, I can see it now. Well, I mean, don't worry about any of those concerns, because technology would be much better. Not sure about flying cars, but basic flying saucers definitely.

Is that basic like the pejorative? Man, these flying saucers are so basic. They're programmed in basic. Q basic flying saucers. 10, sig, 20, hile, 30, go to 10. But at what cost? Millions suppressed, 10 of thousands dead.

A few more than that dead. Ten of thousands. Don't worry about it. And then we get past it. Would it be any better? Some things, yes. I like the China comparison. I suppose it comes down to whether you think

you'll be one of the suppressed or one of the ones doing the suppressing. So this guy's like, you know... This would be great as long as you're the ones oppressing other people. Look, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Nazi super line is terrific if you're Aryan.

Yeah. Great. I think, I think, here's my guess, and this is just a guess, but I think Snake Plissken might be a white man. Could be. Wants great thighs. I'm not going to judge or make assumptions.

Okay. Wow. Yeah. My name is Voyager. Oh, boy. I'm sure you'll bring science. I am glad that in here we can finally say that things would be better. Oh, God damn it.

Listen, listen, I don't know about any of this time travel shit, but I love the anti-Semitism. Sign me up for this website. I think they would not, but if we can express those ideas, we can have a much more realistic conversation. Usually people go mad when someone even tries to pick up things that Nazis did better. People always flip out when we say

Hitler was right, but here at least, we all know how unreasonable they're being. Also, Trekkie Forever liked this. Fuck Trekkie Forever. They belong in fuck you. You think Trekkie Forever is white?

Okay, we're going to move away from that for obvious reasons, and Isfahan, this post is called Time Slip for a 65-Year-Old Blues Magician. I'm sorry, Blues Musician. I like the idea of a blues magician, though. Yeah. Complain about your ex-wife and then do magic tricks.

Ba-na-na-na-na. Sin-sa-la-dim-ba-ba-sa-la-dim-sa-la-doo. Okay. I'm TikTok, and I'm a junior member. I am 65 years old retired now from a real job at a computer company our blues band was playing at a blues fest in 2013 we were setting up our equipment behind the group that was performing before us so we could move it quickly on stage after they finished we had some time to, so I sat on the back of the stage and watched tourists walk by looking in shop windows on the sidewalk

to my right. It was about 11.30 and we were scheduled to go on at 12 noon. Each band had to perform a 20 minute set. It's starting to sound like an SAT problem. I'm making notes. I noticed one couple walking by the shops. He had a biker jacket and a

bandana on his head. That's complicated. This couple did. He did. His girlfriend or wife was wearing a fringe jacket, and they were holding hands, swinging them as they walked. I thought to myself, well, they're a nice couple, young and probably in love. After about 20 minutes of sitting on the back of the stage,

I saw the entire event repeat itself. They walked past the same shop, swinging their hands, and I thought, what? Why would they go back? I dismissed it as weird, and we took the stage at 12.05. This is a very efficient blues band. Yeah. The set is two songs. We finished at the 1225! We finished at the 1225! I have a 4x12 cabinet and head, guitar with equipment case, and head to carry everything about a block away.

Okay. When I finished loading up, I went to the outdoor club to meet my bandmates for lunch. We waited forever to get served, and more time went by waiting on our burgers. It really seemed, as in the thing that you use to stitch cloth together, like we were there for a couple of hours. After I paid the tab and left, I met some old friends outside and visited for a few minutes. Finally, I made it to the car and was so glad I could get to go home. I looked at the clock and it said 1.10 p.m. I said, what, the dollar sign in, dollar sign in, percentage, dollar sign, percentage.

There is no way. Wait, holy shit, so wait, is that your time slip? Right there? You waiting for the burgers? Is that what you're talking about? Wait. Oh my god, it seemed like hours. It was actually 30 minutes. I'm a time traveler.

Okay. Well, after that, I went home only to sleep the entire afternoon and wake up with a really bad headache. And I never get headaches anymore after my heart attack in 2004 where I had three stents. Anyone else had a time altercation like this? The hour hand and the minute hand just start fighting. This was my first and I have lived a long time. Well, well 65 years long really spooked the hell out of me i've never told anyone except my son in this form today never told my wife for good reason

smiley face anyway thanks for listening that's all i have and hopefully we'll have no more i think you might have had a stroke yeah i'm not seeing where the anomaly is here. But he waited for lunch. Yeah. Yeah, like this guy's Yelp review is really scathing. So that section was fun, and then the last section is something I'm very excited about, because Ms. Blank has titled it,

Now Let's Build a Time Machine! Yay! So, this is a guy I think you're going to like quite a bit. He's a very, very fun and interesting guy. And his name is Einstein. You know, Einstein, the guy that we like. Good. Perfect.

I feel like later on I'm gonna like have like really unfounded negative opinions on Albert Einstein like not know where they're coming from there was another thread about the Nazis

winning the war timeline yep where he he went into more detail about his about his theory

and said well since Jews created capitalism ooh fucking prove him wrong prove capitalism... Fucking prove him wrong! Prove him wrong! Yeah, prove him wrong. Alright, Frank West. Yes.

Tell me about your multiverse resonator, you wonderful, wonderful man. Yes, I have a multiverse resonator. Oh, do you? Well, it's really just a hyperdimensional resonator built into a copper pyramid. Don't fucking waste our time.

Jesus. I thought you said you were serious about this shit. You're gonna just tart up a hyperdimensional resonator and try to pass it off as a multiverse resonator? Fucking amateur hour.

Well, I built it so long ago, I don't really remember when. You know, that old thing. But I never completed it until recently. The problem was the time coils. Consulting with HDR Kid helped me

resolve that problem. Good resolution on HDR Kid. A lot of bloom. A lot of bloom, yeah. I was thinking of bloom in HDR Kid. Apparently the time coils are to be made with guitar chords. I was using bass strings before that. Well, in the original schematic, it says to use blue phone cord.

Blue phone cord didn't work because the wires were so fine, the connections easily broke. So my multiverse resonator has been sitting in the closet all these years unfinished. Oh, that's embarrassing. I nearly had a time travel device completed, but the wires broke, so I put it in the closet for like a decade or whatever. I can travel! Oh, it doesn't work. Fuck this. I'll have to wait until a time in the future when there's something thicker than phone cord.

If the Jews hadn't been here. phone cord. If the Jews hadn't been here. But I just recently decided to make a hyperdimensional resonator, so now I have a completed HDR with the electromagnet and time coils. But the HDR doesn't seem to me to be performing as it should.

How should it be? You never articulated how it should be performing. Does it travel through time? Because that's a very simple pass-fail analysis. So I decided to connect the electromagnet and the time coils to my multiverse resonator

to see how it performs with the copper pyramid construction. So everything was connected. I turned on the power and bang! I had to think quick. I pulled the cord. Then I realized what happened. The electromagnet had pulled a few of the tools on my workbench towards it,

making a very startling sound. Oh. Come on. Oh, come on. Come on. I'm building. I've discovered the magnetic properties of electromagnets. It's electromagnet.

And he was fucking surprised by it. That's the thing. He was surprised by it. Spending all this time gluing wires to a fucking electromagnet. And then it's like, what the hell? It's moving all this metal shit around. How do they work indeed? Fuck.

A warning comes with my magnet. It says the magnet is strong enough to break the bones in my hand if I should get in the way of something being attracted to the magnet. Well, it looks like I now own an electromagnet that is just as dangerous. Okay, so far you have an electromagnet. Yeah.

Congratulations. Hey, Einstein, put your head in front of that fucking thing. Seriously. Do it once. I bet you'll travel through time. So I will be doing some experiments to determine, to figure out if I can see what's going on. But I did a comparison amperage draw with my HDR. It uses the same electrical circuit, but it only draws out about a third of an amp.

Now, I think that is too low, so currently I've looked over the construction of both machines, and I did find something odd. The diodes in the multiverse resonator look like RadioShack diodes! Oh! Oh my god! That's so weird! I know this says more about me than the post,

but as I was scanning that, I read that as, it looks like Radio Shack dildos, which was a terrific mental image. Maybe they'd still be in business if they had those. But the part numbers on the diodes indicate they are not, so it might be the diodes that are causing the big difference in the electromagnet's performance. Today I made a trip down to an electronic surplus store and got hold of some diodes very similar to what is in the Multiverse Resonator.

I plan to put these diodes in my HDR just to see if I can up the current used by the electromagnet. Well, I made a video for everyone to see my new electromagnet hooked up to my Multiverse Resonator. Yeah, and he's got a YouTube channel, a whole YouTube channel, where he's got a YouTube channel. It's a whole YouTube channel. Where he's got his various... He's got a bunch of different, like, pyridine-looking machines here. There's one that's a pyramid.

There's one that's, like, kind of an arc welder. One that looks like just a raspberry pie. And, you know, they all travel through time. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, congratulations, I suppose. But anyway, so that was Einstein's device, and he has more to say, but he is human filth.

So we'll move on to... Right. human filth, so we'll move on to Right. To Numb7, who, for some reason, has a schematic for Pooh's device?

What? I don't understand. It's Pooh's device. Oh, I saw this earlier. Like, P-O-O. Oh. Not Winnie, as in... No. No. The guy from Earthbound. Ah. Okay. So, Kumquats up. No, the guy from Earthbound. Ah. Okay. Sure.

So, come close up, if you'll take that, please. Oh, my God. Pooh's device. Pooh's device supposedly allows you to physically visit alternate parallel timelines. This universe is not much as known about it outside the following schematics and information for now. Okay, I'm looking at the schematic. Oh, I have to be a registered member to see the schematics? You have to be a registered member.

Damn it. Information about the device. Okay, these are kind of old now. I have more transformers and soon I will adjust it to run off a battery and skip the radio. When you use it, turn the radio on and just to a station AM. That is just a squealing noise. They tend to work more often. No talking or words.

Then go through the warp coil. Now there won't be any visible way to tell if there's a wormhole there. So, when you go through, you have to really pay attention to your surroundings and try and see any differences like how people you know act. If things aren't the same as where they go you experimented, then you are experiencing an alternate reality. Now, the more Transformers you have in there,

then the farther away of our universe you should reach. If you build it like just in the plan, then you should be able to make it through 25% of the time. So you turn this machine on, and then you start looking around like, is this an alternate reality? And then you have to gauge and see if people are acting differently around you. Only if it's AM radio. I can't imagine anyone acting weirdly around this guy. So, just to reiterate, when you listen to AM radio,

you're in an alternate reality. I mean, an alternate reality where it's like Steve Miller band all the time. Yeah. When you get it to work, don't expect real big differences in universes. The device can't go far too far yet, so when you make it

to another universe, it will probably be much the same. Okay. Can I make it go further? Just put more transistors in it and then it goes farther, right? It took three days before I realized my first experiment worked.

It took three days before I realized my first experiment worked. Don't go around another world and break laws or get it to deep shit because there is probably another you in your world doing the same thing. Sources, Einstein. Oh, yay. No, they're Einstein, not the Einstein. At, at, at, at, Einstein. Sources, the Einstein. At, at, at, at Einstein. Are you, are you not the same person? At Einstein, which is not a Twitter handle. Sources, at Einstein.

Classical fan 626, Oppermuhr and Einstein like this. I just like, well, he follows it up and he talks about it a little bit more. And then he goes, and then he goes, search for poo on Google. Yes, by all means. it up and he talks about it a little bit more and then he goes and then he goes, search for poo on Google. Yes. Yes, by all means. What you find will have an equal chance of you sending you through time to alternate

worlds. This will be the last post here, but it's a great post. It's a post to be excited about. It's a post to be happy about. It's a great post. It's a post to be excited about. It's a post to be happy about. It's a celebration of our scientific accomplishments to date. Because, F+, Rico has solved the problem of full-body teleportation. Has he ever. Johnny Rico.

Killed the bugs. Johnny Rico killed the bugs my name is Opemur your avatar is also a picture of Einstein yes we're all super smart Rico's patent application explains the unlikely confluence of events

that led to his discovery and there's a full body teleportation system that goes to U.S. Patent Application Office. Brief summary of the invention. This invention is a system that teleports a human being through hyperspace from one location to another using

a pulsed gravitational wave traveling through hyperspace. There's a perspective view of a site where full-body teleportation occurred. It is a picture of a person standing in one place and, I guess, the same person standing elsewhere at the same time. Okay. The basis for this invention is an event referring to Figure 1 occurring on May 2, 2004, in which the inventor, hereafter referred to as he,

personally experienced a full-body teleportation while walking to the bus stop A along road B that runs perpendicular to the nearby commercial airport runways where the planes are landing. Was he goose-stepping or regular walking? Might be goose-stepping, I don't know. This might be the universe where the Nazis won. That's the most comfortable walk there is.

There is a wide iron grating D for water drainage that crosses the road at the center of the bus stop. The grating width is such that one has to make a concerted effort to jump across it in order to get from one side to the other. Okay. Approximately 50 meters from the iron grating, E felt a vertical wave F, which on the drawing just looks like the road juts up and... Okay. Similar to a flag waving in the breeze traveling down the street towards a bus stop.

The wave velocity was about one meter per second, which was slightly faster than his walking speed. In the next instance, he G found himself down the street near the corner of the next block realizing that he had passed the bus stop he turned around to see the iron grating approximately 50 meters up the street

in back of him that all sounds i mean that that's actually stuff that i learned you know in in full body teleportation 101 i mean you know i i it's great that you gave a primer for these people, but my question is, what does the full-body teleportation system consist of? Okay, well, the full-body teleportation system, I'm not even going to try and describe that drawing. The full-body teleportation system consists of the twin granite obelisks, which I guess look like dildos for the brave. Is this a fucking Serious Sam game? Yeah. Serious Sam concept art, on which are mounted near the top

of each of the toroidal waveguides, which produce the pulsed gravitational waves. Excellent drawing of toroidal waveguides by the way. Yeah. And they run the length of the obelisks. For the listeners out there, this is two Illuminati flashlights. Yeah, there you go. Because the gravitational wave is rotating inside the obelisk,

which I think we all know, the granite stone undergoes a very small asymmetrical compression and expansion. A cylindrical gravitational wave propagates out from each obelisk such that along the center line between the two, there is generated a plane gravitational wave. Now this wave enters the wormhole. Yeah! Yep.

That's H. That's point H on the figure. I want to see that granite obelisk enter that wormhole. Well, that wormhole is created by the magnetic vortex generator, which is located a short distance from and parallel to the obelisks. The wave is amplified by a factor of almost 1013, or 10 to the 13th. He probably couldn't do superscript. When it enters the hyperspace co-dimension.

So as long as you introduce a new Technobabble word every sentence, you're good. But these people live in a world where, like, Star Trek Technobabble exists and is real, only the payoff is you fail to travel through time.

Speaking of more bullshit, Jackcheck the other day sent me a link. It's subpierce.com forward slash bullshit, and there's a site that just randomly generates new age bullshit religions. Oh, cool. Yeah.

So every time you click it, you get a new look on life. Let's see. You and I are the beginnings of the universe how should you navigate this high frequency planet the solar system is calling you via solar energy can you hear it it can be difficult to know where to begin anyway sorry so uh f plus uh what did we learn from any of this? I learned fucking nothing. I want to know how to be invisible. Why didn't nobody hear? You can travel through time.

Why does nobody know how to be invisible? You want to be invisible? You know, okay, fine, fine. I mean, I understand you don't want to get out of this episode without learning to be invisible. Okay, invisible. Many movies and story have talked much about invisibility, but have they ever wondered what it takes to be invisible?

Basically, I think invisibility is rather impossible by nature. Good. If we would want to be invisible, we would have to allow light to pass our body, but this is impossible. Light is shitting us out. Yeah. Light can't pass through out matter. Only matter like glass. Light can't pass through matter.

That's why light never goes anywhere. There is more to this invisibility, but I am tired of writing them down here. Oh, the old teenage, I don't know how to end my post gambit. Look, I have so many examples, but I'm busy. After writing the 40 words that preceded it, I'm tired. So basically the above is the main reason why invisibility is impossible. But there are many other ways to be hard to see. Like camoflaggy.

Yeah, camouflage. Camouflage. Bet y'all didn't know about camouflage, huh? So that's all, folks. Drop the idea of invisibility. Carbon monoxide, it's never going to happen. Correctional officers. Commanding officers.

It's never going to happen. Fuck you. My name is Karaskin. Oh, no. I think the idea of invisibility is a pretty interesting one, too. The idea of invisibility is a pretty interesting one, too. I got a card from Foot Locker a couple weeks ago with a hologram on it, and me wonder if someone could make one big enough to put on the side of Tank for Kevin Flowers or something. The hologram would make it super shiny.

It would be even easier to make, but it's therefore invisible. I have a friend who owns a card dealership. That's called a game shop. No, it's called Hallmark. About the idea of putting a big hologram on the side of a car. And after a very curious why, he said it probably could, but was sure the sun would damage and after a very curious, why? He had said it probably could, but was sure the sun would damage it after a while. That was the only problem I'd seen with it.

Trying to maintain it after applying it also made me wonder if any other similar material could be applied to something to fool the viewer into thinking they were seeing something they weren't. I made an earlier thread with a link to some neat movies of objects in a cloak similar to the

one Harry Potter wore. I wonder how you found this post complex. Yeah. Hmm. Mystery Men is an awesome movie. Oh, fuck you, it is not. Greg Kinnear, underrated actor. Yeah, absolutely. I believe invisibility occurred when nobody was looking at him, including himself.

But he does actually go invisible eventually in the audience. He's a smiley face. Personally, I've worn the invisibility sunglasses when I have them on. Newton can see me, but I see them, Big Daddy. In the movie, man with chevy chase when he eats food it's only partially digested i was thinking he would slowly create it back when he ate because his body was replaced with new energy as he'd come back after a while and they ate invisible food when he gave me out of sun at the end i was thinking it just looked a little

crazier than what it did it looked invisible too and with thinking you're thinking of coming out a hybrid or something like you can see halfway through him or something. I saw that movie with Kevin Bacon, too, where they made him invisible hollow man. What I couldn't understand is why they made him all crazy acting. I don't think just being invisible is going to make someone turn into a criminal, especially when his scientists now were influenced by a personal agenda of hiding in people's rooms while they're undressing. Oh, boy. That's the worst thing you thought happened in that movie?

You have a terrible book. I learned that. That's what I learned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else do we learn? I spilled moonshine everywhere.

And blueberries. I learned that there's still people taking John Titor seriously. I don't know who that is. Who is John Titor? John Titor? Oh, he was a... I don't even remember. It's like 2001, okay okay but it's a series

of posts on a forum where he claimed to be a time traveler and he came back for a very specific piece of computer technology and as long as he was here he'd answer a bunch of questions about the future on a random forum okay oh so he was like a coast-to-coast kind of guy? Yeah. Yeah, he's notable enough to have a Wikipedia article. So how do you, like, so here's my question as somebody who has and will continue to fail to be famous. So, like, how do you get famous as being, like, the one conspiracy theorist or, like, the one, like, crazy time traveler guy? Like, I mean, there's so many of you. Do you have an agent? Well, I think the internet was a lot newer,

and this dude just got slightly covered in the mainstream. No one had just considered making up bullshit about being a time traveler before. Okay. He was a visionary. All these people are basically John Titor cosplaying, and then mixed in are a handful of crazy people. You think they could have like a Tony Robbins kind of course about like how to

be a lunatic on the internet? Oh my god! It would be like the thing you were talking about before Kumquatsop about like learn how to use fucking insane fonts. Oh, exactly. A lot of these guys could have seminars on how to do the thing that they want to do it's sort of the meta game of you know when you

need to when you want to do a thing but you're the only one that knows how to do a thing well because also i mean you know i mean because obviously like schizophrenia is you know it's it's powerful thing but like but like you know if you're if you're if you're on the internet and you're espousing your like crazy ass ideas there's got to be i mean you've got to get beleaguered by it at some point you got to be like okay i really did everything i could i talked talked about the aliens, and I talked about, you know, Hitler was right. Taking off the boxes. Yeah, so like, I don't

have any new truth to give people. Like, maybe you need to retire and teach other people how to spread their own message. And, you know, honestly, if I was a time traveler, and I could access any point in time and do anything and bounce

back and forth through positive light speed and negative light speed and, you know, drift around the corners like sideways light speed and Tokyo light speed. Tokyo drift light speed. Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The point I would obviously choose to make my maximum

impact on all of our space-time world line whatever the fuck they used word continuum was i would post on a fucking internet forum called paranormalist.com because its tagline says think outside the mind yeah well what i learned was well going into the when i learned it was about time travel i was like okay so we're gonna have an above top secret situation where yeah you have people saying i came from the future and they'll say this happened and that happened and obviously two people coming from the future will say two will say the future goes in two completely different directions. It will be directly contradictory and nobody will point it out or talk about

it. And they'll just kind of politely stay in their own clicks because it's pretty much just like a shared delusion between, you know, the OP and whoever, you know, just kind of indulges them. So,

Oh, what happens here? What happens there? Yeah. Yeah. Just carve out, just carve out little areas for every different subsect of crazy.

It's exactly the same as starting a thread on who Severus Snape is going to have sex with next. Well, so the other thing I noticed there is that when you scroll down to the very bottom, they proudly

advertise their Alexa ranking. Yeah. That's nice. And for what it's worth, Paranormalist.com, think outside the mind, is twice as popular a website as T-H-E-F-B-L.us. You win this round, Paranormalist.com. Now, U.S., we actually do pretty good, but the global ranking, they're much better than we are. We're still thinking inside our mind. Fuck.

Anyway, that's the website. We've got a forum. It's called Ball Pit, and we can sell you shit. Yeah. Buy it. Anyone else got anything to say? There's a thread on Ball Pit that I've really liked. It's stuff that would have been great

on great F Plus material, except it's not in English, that Ambia started. Because he starts it off with a couple of really great posts, one of them being a bunch of excited ladies speaking in Hebrew about a carrot they found that looks both phallic and vaginal.

It is comforting to know that the English-speaking world does not have a monopoly on crazy people. Oh, yeah, yeah, that is very nice. And that's all we got, so bye! Bye! See you next time! Or have we already? It's the super city.

Go a few posts down and look at the picture of the time machine. What time flippers are? Here's a picture of it. Oh my god. Well, this is an audio podcast, but... That's a powerful image. All right. This is a front-load washer.

Mental note, when you're editing this part out of the S-edit, let this serve as a reminder to put this fucking image somewhere in the show notes. Jesus Christ! There's a power core. One label says, Whole, always cold. And the other label says, Comes out hot.

Date, key food. Some dube. Some diode. Keypad. Ignition. Key. Some diob. Jesus Christ.

Maybe it's some Dio 13. Alright, well thanks, Catherine. You're welcome. Went to Earth 13 and brought back Dio. Yes.