The F Plus - 201: Funding The Infowar

Episode Date: January 10, 2016

For a number of years, and across several different forms of media, Alex Jones has been preaching his own brand of “The Truth” and has built a following doing so. Jones has an agenda to push, but more than that, Jones also has a whole bunch of crap to sell you. That's what we're focusing on here; a whole episode dedicated only to the products sold through InfoWars, including DVDs, shirts and nutritional supplements. We recorded this episode at the exact same time that an armed militia began their occupation of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. Coincidence!? Yes!

Hi, F+. Hi. Hi, Victor. Hi, Victor. What's up, Victor? Yay, Victor. Yay, Victor. Yay, Victor. Did you want to talk about the thing?

What? What thing? I thought he was going to start doing the... I'm not qualified to do that. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? To shove away the hand so fast Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? To shove away the hands so fast Who do you think you are? Well maybe I'm the devil

To harbor sick and obscene Well maybe this the albatross I'm like a ivory tower Level or power but You're not the innocent You're not the innocent. You're not the innocent. Okay, so thanks for tuning in, because this is the F-Plus Podcast.

It's a terrible place, there's terrible things, and they're red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reign here. Without a doubt, here's the most comprehensive collection of Civil Defense, Fallout Shelter, and NBC survival prep documents anywhere on a single DVD ROM. Jack Chick? We are being hit by toxic weapons in the food and water supply that are making us fat, sick, and stupid. Nutshell Gulag? I was damaged by

red number 40 fluoride pills. Victor Laszlo? In a couple more months, my nipple might be the size of nickels instead of silver dollars. Your friend on the internet, this is Adam Bozarth. If you're not getting prepared with nascent iodine, you're crazy!

And lemon. I was dissatisfied with my old mouthwash, that's why I turned to colloidal silver. Hey, Victor, what would you prescribe for silver dollar nipples? Female super vitality, of course. Hey, F+.

Hey, Lemon. Hello, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Are you people ready for the coming revolution? What do you mean, you people? Wait, wait. Do you for the coming revolution? What do you mean, you people? Wait, wait. Do you mean the coming revolution? I'm very prepared for that.

Boots, what do you envision is going to happen in the coming revolution? It's going to be fun, but messy. It sounds like you're not ready boots well I was hoping Lemma would tell me more about it well I'm going to tell you about a different revolution a revolution that is going to be brought on to us by a man who is an actual human being and his name is Alex Jones.

Oh, good. Oh, boy. Oh, good. So Alex Jones has a site called InfoWars. If you're listening to the F Plus podcast, you are probably familiar with it. But just as an overview, it's kind of like pig-headed,

like conservative paranoid conspiracy, I guess I'd call it. If you haven't heard of it, Google Ron Paul. So that's what InfoWars is. And InfoWars, of course, has a whole bunch of arms to fund itself. And one of those arms is the InfoWars store. The top of the InfoWars store is a picture of Alex Jones dressed up like the Crocodile Hunter, and it says, thank you for supporting the InfoWars.

Alex Jones. Oh my god, so much snake oil. So what we're going to be going through in this episode is we're going to be going through all of the various items available at the InfoWars store, as well as some user reviews of said items. This was made possible by Nikir Draken. And let's start out with the Hillary for Prison 2016 t-shirts uh victor if you'll start us off here and um uh tell us just a little bit about the hillary for prison 2016 t-shirt hi folks the hillary clinton for prison 2016 t-shirt is now in stock signs bearing this hillary clinton for prison 2016 image

have been torn down and destroyed across America and the mainstream media makes it sound as if it is evil to discuss the idea of sending Hillary Clinton to prison. However, it's your First Amendment right to say that Hillary Clinton

should be brought to justice. Her open crimes of Benghazi, Watergate, Fast and Furious, IRSgate, the Clinton Foundation, and private internet servers makes Nixon look like a choir boy.

Not private internet servers, Gate? What did Nixon do anyway? She was responsible for both Watergate and the Fast and the Furious. You've been charged with first-degree Benghazi. She had Paul Walker murdered. That's why InfoWars is releasing this limited-edition run of Hillary Clinton for Prison 2016 t-shirts. Wear them loud, wear them proud, and help get the word out that all of these globalist criminals, Republican and Democrat alike, should be held accountable for their crimes. This dark navy blue shirt further drives home this point with the phrase, legalize freedom, along with the Infowars.com logo.

Let everybody know that Hillary Clinton deserves to be in a prison cell, not in the White House. And then, nutshell, there's a whole bunch of reviews here, including one by Charlene Keller. She's from Houston, if you'll take that, please. Sure. I wore the Hillary shirt at the Effingham, Illinois Halloween Parade, October 25th. Is that censored fucking him? Yeah, it's fucking ham Illinois. It's right next to Cuntsburg.

It's a fun place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Joe begs Paul Joseph, our FB friends, to see the pics. It was a positive reaction. Only one woman said, we need more social security. Oh my god, social security. I'm stealing that. That's awesome.

It was so much fun walking in the parade with the Republican Party supporting Kyle McCarter for Congress. My friend Susan Petty is very active and worked to get Rauner elected for governor. My son said I would wear that until I asked, did you read it?

Now he wants me to order him one. At the STL airport I will when I get home. Oh, this makes sense. This lady posted this from the St. Louis airport. Fuck that place. Adam, would you like to share your St. Louis airport? No.

No. We don't have time. This is about InfoWars. Stay tuned to Adam Bozars' St. Louis airport talk. And then long range, please. I got my wife and I one of these shirts. They wear it together. Yeah.

I thought they were expensive for a t-shirt. Right up until the first demo zombie walked over saying, I love the shirt. Demo zombie. Demo zombie. It's a Democrat. They're so stupid. They're like brain dead.

They're like zombies. Oh, I thought it was a zombie that was like really good with demolitions. It's like a sick burn that works on so many levels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was a zombie transformer. It's because these people...

If you're running with a horde of zombies, you always want to have one that can tear down walls. Otherwise, you're running with a horde of zombies you always want to have one that can tear down walls. Otherwise you're just standing outside the mall scrambling on it. This demo zombie got close enough

to read it and they'd turn and walk away mumbling to themselves. Worth the price. Now all my friends want one. Hi, I'm Freedom Rider.

Hi, Freedom Rider. Oh no. I'm from Fort Myers, Florida. I'm Freedom Rider. Hi, Freedom Rider. Oh, no. I'm from Fort Myers, Florida. I'm sorry. I have never had so much attention as when I wear this shirt. Today alone, 50 to 60 compliments, 15 plus picture poses, handshakes, and high fives. And the key to the city. Just like the real freedom riders.

I had a fun day meeting people of like mind. I'm Jim the Runner. I'm from Kingsport, Tennessee. Prison might be too good for a lesbian traitor. Yep. Sure. I love the free stickers in the citizens rule book. I hand them out to the uninformed.

Is that like they're praising citizens because they rule? I just can't figure out like a lesbian trade. Is that like a trader to the lesbian cause? Yeah. What's up, you stupid motherfuckers? I'm Dan from Jersey. Oh. Let's go bowling. His edgy attitudeuckers? I'm Dan from Jersey. Oh. You know, I've always liked his edgy attitude.

Yeah, I wear it to work. I travel and repair industrial machine tools. So by me wearing this shirt, roughly 100 to 1,000 people see it in a day. Not only do I wear this shirt, people see me wearing this shirt. The sad thing is most people just see it and laugh, thinking it's a joke. It's not a joke at all. Everyone who says, ha, ha, ha, that's a funny shirt, I tell them, no, it's a serious shirt. No joke.

She belongs in a cell, not an Oval Office. I don't think that's why they're laughing, Dan. It's great. Another one of those shirts, huh? My shirt's not a joke. I actually want to know who farted. Really,

my companion here is quite stupid. All right. So we're going to skip over the NWO playing cards. That's okay, I'd rather have NWA playing cards anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So instead, nobody wants MC Rand, so instead we're going to go to the InfoWars Molon Labe Custom Minted 1-ounce Proof Silver Coin. It is a coin with sort of a Brotherhood of Steel logo on it

or something. It's like if 300 had AK-47s. Oh yeah, that makes sense. It looks more like Talon Company. Jack Chick, if you will take the description of that please. Of course. Moulin Labe, please. Of course. Molon Labe.

Come and take it. For collectors and investors alike, the InfoWars Molon Labe Proof Silver Round contains one troy ounce of.999 fine silver and is struck with a proof finish. This special edition coin was custom minted and comes in a decorative box and case. Each case includes a certificate of authenticity

that is individually numbered, making it a one-of-a-kind collector's item. Certificate of what authenticity? Authentically from Alex Jones' fucking store? This is silver. Goodbye. This is totally a thing. Enjoy. This is money in case the economy eclapses.

No. You guys are all making fun of this, but this is a perfect gift for any fellow patriot. Okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. We were making fun of it. You goddamn commies.

It's a keepsake that can be treasured and passed forward to future generations. As an added bonus, each purchase of the Infowars Molin Label Proof Silver Round comes with a free Made in 1776 lapel pin. Except for it wasn't. There's no way that was made in 1776. No, it's just a general statement of, hey, we're all made in 1776. Not me.

Not me. No, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. That's actually when the atoms that comprise your body were created. Nope, that's not true either. Carbon dating is a lie. You know that. Oh, I forgot.

There's a whole made in 1776 section to the Alex Jones site. Also, I was noticing here, looking at the sidebar, and I don't know when this episode comes out, things might change, but I just want to tell you that while we're looking at the site right now, 25% off all belt buckles. Get them now before they are gone forever. Can I get one with that

Mullen Lab logo centered right over my crotch? Yes, you can! And also it has like a bunch of Greek lettering that I don't understand. Yeah, I spaced out for a minute. Did anybody point out that that's not how you spell moron? Well, I don't know, but Victor, I think you sound like Mad Mike to me.

It's Greek. It means come and take it. I'm Mad Mike from Denver, Colorado. Okay. The Molon Late Proof Silver is a spectacular-looking silver piece that will stand out in any collection. It is tangable and worth more than the dollar spent for it. It is tangable and worth more than the dollar spent for it. The 1776 pin is also included.

It's high quality and a great conversation piece that always gets noticed when I wear it. Yeah, every time he wears it, somebody says, what the fuck, Grandpa? So Nakey or Draken here put this document together. Broke it up into sections. The section one here was general info war is nonsense. Section two, there was a DWI survival guide. We're skipping over here, but it's fun. It's definitely fun.

But instead, I would just want to skip right to section three, which is called bullshit supplements. Yay. Yay. to section three, which is called Bullshit Supplements. Yay! Yay! And Boots, if you'll start us off here with Lung Cleanse. Yeah.

Yeah, great idea. So first of all, how much is Lung Cleanse? Lung Cleanse? It's $49.99 for Lung Cleanse. Oh, that's too much for me. I can't afford $49.99 for lung cleanse. Oh, yeah, but right now you saved $20. It's on sale for $29.99. I'll buy seven! Okay. Yeah, let's just get in the top five reasons for lung cleansing. Number one, indoor air has been shown to have pollutant concentrations much higher than outdoor air.

By who? A scientist. Okay. I withdraw my question then. No, we don't believe in scientists. By InfoWars.com, we are a source of information. We don't need to cite anything. Sure enough.

Number two, people spend over 90% of their time indoors trapped in pollutants. Number two, people spend over 90% of their time indoors trapped in pollutants. Number three, over 35 million people in the U.S. alone have some form of chronic lung condition. Chronic lung condition. Number four, an estimated 42.1 million, around 18.1% of the population, Americans smoke. Hmm. So, I don't see how that's bad. 42 million people smoke, and 35 million people have chronic lung conditions. Hmm.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Correlation is not causation. Unless, of course, it is. As she knows we're on the site. Unless it's convenient to make me sell things. Number five. Over 1,000 types of mold and mildew have been identified by scientists

within homes located in the United States. Wow, that's a lot. But let's get into some shocking statistics about air quality. Oh my God, I don't know. I'm going to be shocked. Okay, okay, okay. Six out of ten homes and buildings are sick.

According to EPA, this means that they are hazardous to your health as a result of airborne pollutants. Dude, all the fucking graffiti on the walls from the spray cans. Totally sick. Yeah. I thought the EPA was bad. Unless they aren't. Unless they're selling things. Damn it.

So confusing. Anyway, it's time to cleanse. With the InfoWars Lifelong Cleanse tier. The last time somebody said that to me, I had a very bad evening. They said it in a Swedish accent. It's time to cleanse. Yeah, well, you're going to have a really bad evening again, but it's going to be for the good.

InfoWars Lifelong Cleanse is a result of an ancient wisdom Combined with herbal science Reinterpreted in the light of modern day herbology What kind of ancient wisdom? It isn't ancient wisdom from, you know, non-white people, is it? Yeah, but then we whited it up and made it better Okay, that's all right We modernized it Are we sure that we're not reading the Food Babes blog?

The history of the Infowars Lifelong Cleanse, sorry, Lifelong Cleanse, Life Hits Wars Lifelong Cleanse, is based on the proprietary Spagarex process by Dr. Edward Group, or Dr. Edward Group? Or the Dr. Edward Group, I don't know process by Dr. Edward Group or Dr. Edward Group? Or the Dr. Edward Group? By Dr. Edward Group.

I saw the Dr. Edward Group play at the Finn McCool's down the road. Pretty cool. It's an ancient process that dates back to 1998. It was invented during his research into the basis for vibrant health.

Finding that our toxic air and environment was leading to the accumulation of toxic substances in the body, this led us on a journey to create the most powerful herbal lung cleanse and respiratory support product on the market. support product on the market. Okay, okay. Our key process combines ancient and current technologies to create a revolutionary multi-step proprietary processing technique. I'm just about hypnotized

with all the syllables. This follows the principle of separating and recombining all the elements of an herb to extract the most powerful essence of its healing nature. Dudes, this thing has an herb to extract the most powerful essence of its healing nature. Dudes, this thing has an herb in it.

Yeah, but like an herb that we blew up and then glue back together. It's from China. You probably haven't heard about it. Anyway, let's go over the... He's my uncle. Let's go over the key checklist for this product. In a world of... In a world of products filled with

artificial additives and other hidden substances, it is essential to choose a high quality product. The InfoWars Life Lung Cleanse. It's not endorsed or checked by the FDA. The InfoWars Life Lung Cleanse meets these quality factors. The convenient one ounce bottle

can be carried during travel to protect you from toxic airplane air. So, as these quality factors comes in a bottle. A small bottle. It's vegan safe and GMO free. They bought up all the airborne spray

when that got debunked and relabeled it. How many vegans do you think there are on InfoWars? Good point. It's 100% alcohol-free. It's halal and kosher approved. Whoa! Okay, holy shit!

What? Holy shit! Why does InfoWars think that it's selling to either Muslim or Jewish vegans? You know, friends, there's an info war coming. Hey, hey, Muslims and Jews know where to go for quality merchandise, too, okay? Listen, I don't like their policies. I do love their products. I don't know what's going on with this Jade Hill, Mishigas, but I know I got to get my lungs clean.

It's made with organic and wild cultivated herbs. It's made with eco-friendly, sustainable manufacturing in the U.S. Wild cultivated? Wait, wait, wait. So we're sure we're not on the Food Babe blog? Oh, this is for your racist hippie grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's to buy to your hippie children.

And they're like, thanks for the... Oh, fuck, why is it InfoWars? And before we skip to the reviews here, JackJack, you like coffee, right? I do like coffee. How many pounds of coffee do you think would be one month's worth of coffee? I go through about two pounds of coffee a month or so.

Oh, well then great. So this is good for you because you can get a pack of Wake Up America coffee. Excellent. That is four pounds, four pounds of coffee. You'll get two pounds of the Patriot blend

and two pounds of the immune support blend. Somehow the immune support blend has mushrooms in it. What? I don't know. Oh, that's going to taste so good. I don't know. Don't talk to me until I've had my right wing paranoia in the morning. But anyway, Nutshell, you are Rabs here

and I need you to tell me about this lung product. I know smoking is bad for you, but I've been doing it for 36 years. And doing it well. I purchased this product because I ran out of pharmaceutical inhalers. Okay, but not great. The first time

I used this product, I got light-headed because I had more oxygen going into me. Sure. I slept great the first night, only guessing I had more oxygen. In addition, it is loosening up gunk in my lungs. I recommend this product

to smokers who have a hard time quitting. I'm not nearly ready to quit. I have rejuvenation with this product. Great stuff. So I smoke. This does nothing? Oh, it gives you more oxygen.

It gives me more oxygen, not like that fucking doctor that wants me to have oxygen at home. Oh, God. He's such a pain in the balls. Here, take this inhaler. Wear this oxygen. Here, take this inhaler Wear this oxygen So it's a puffer, you do inhale it It looks like it's an atomizer spray

Or something like that Oh, I guess, yeah And Jackjack, what is your name? It's really good You're gonna love it, it just rolls right off the tongue So my name is 60 stairs, 2X a Day and Walk All Day. Mm-hmm. And I'm from Chicago.

Okay, okay. You're one of those people that walks a lot in Chicago. Gotcha. I count the stairs. I go down three flights and grab my mail, and then I come back up the three flights, but I take a break in the middle. I visit Rick on the third floor. Good taste, and I

don't seem to need my inhaler. My lungs feel open, and I can get a deep breath still experimenting. Stands are easier. Tried it when I had pneumonia. Really erased my breathing. Experimenting with how much I need works as well as my breathing machine without the jitters from the machine. Haven't felt I needed the machine.

This is not medical advice. But still I experience. Follow your doctor's orders, I am. And then he passed out. It might breathe easier if you use punctuation, buddy. So I would like to point out that the Food Babe posts on Infowars.com. We've come full circles. Oh my god!

That makes so much sense! My name is Shamgar from Palm Springs, California and this... Hey, Shamgar! Well, this helps with pot smoking. Woo, alright! I do not advocate helps with pot smoking. All right. I do not advocate pot use, lol.

I bought a lot of InfoWars vitamins for my friend because tithe this year isn't for the church. It's for orphans and widows and the Levite and stranger in your town. Like my friend. It has to be in the form of food, so I figure vitamins are like the superfood, lol. No. No, that's wrong. My orphan

friend. My orphan friend is diabetic and all messed up. How do you keep that friend if you keep referring to him as your orphan friend? Merry Christmas. May I have some lung cleanser?

Merry Christmas, Tiny Tim. I gave him almost everything they sell that says InfoWars on the bottle, and I asked him what works. He's less a friend and more of a guinea pig. Yeah, no shit. Now he's not an orphan anymore. He told me the lung cleanse has got rid of his raspiness and smoked a lot of pot, so that's something. He sings karaoke, and the announcer made fun of him because he has a baby voice now, lol.

The friend I recommended it to would recommend it. Isn't that right, friend? Isn't that right, friend? I recommend it. Sentence structure. Okay. Boots. Boots.

I'm going to read something, but I want you to choose what I should read, okay? We got two options here. Option number one is liver shield. I'm not going to tell you anymore. And option number two is super male vitality. That's not a choice. They're actually both pretty good.

They're both genuinely pretty good. Yeah, that's super male vitality. All right, super male vitality it is. Guess. Yeah, have you scrolled down to it, by the way? Have you figured out what the price is? Yeah, it's currently on sale for $59.99, a one-ounce bottle. Yeah, that's right.

$69.95 was probably too much, but your savings is $9.96. If you were to buy it elsewhere, you'd be paying $89.97. Where else would I buy this? According to this page. By the way, the brand on the bottle I just noticed is InfoWars Life. Mm-hmm. It's not a game. So the all-new and advanced Super Male Vitality formula uses the newest extraction technology with even more powerful concentrations of various herbs and extracts designed to be even stronger.

You know how the last one was so good? This is even better. This updated formula incorporates the newest technology and herbal extraction methods with even more powerful... Oh my god, I'm saying the same things again. I didn't notice. It reminds me of the scene for the Dark Crystal where the bad guys are extracting the essences from the

podlings. I think they do that only with college students. Yeah, well, the important thing about this product is it's the super male you've been taking, but with extra punch. After reviewing the herbal components in the original Supermail Vitality, we decided we could enhance the potency by using a higher concentration of some herbs while lowering the concentration of other herbs.

Take a step back there, chef. More time, less oregano. Let's see. It's got mackeroots, tonkat ali, ashawanga. Oh, on the invention of super male vitality, the third paragraph is really helpful. Well, okay. So there is no question that super male vitality really works for me the guy writing this description and there's a reason that the entire

process took more than five years to develop other products are priced way higher that claim to boost your vitality yet they still may contain additives, fillers, you name it. The key with super male vitality and all the other products under InfoWars Life has always been to never sacrifice on quality while still offering at an even lower price than many of the other products that are loaded with low quality ingredients. This is literally an infusion of the highest quality sources.

Okay. Highest quality sources and naturally derived essences. I only bring the best formulations and products to my listeners, and Super Male Vitality has passed all my expectations Alex Jones

notice it hasn't surpassed them it's just you know exactly at his expectations you can be a superman just like Alex Jones paragon of health you get the physique of Alex Jones yeah that nice flush redness

That never seems to go away It's not about physique It's about performance Well, so a couple little bullet points here Super Mario Vitality Is designed to aid the body In ways that help support normal testosterone levels In men, you know, normal

You'll have a normal body like Alex Jones's. It's completely free of GMOs, harmful additives, gluten, and is made right here in the USA. Super Male Vitality is the only Spaggy Rex processed male vitality product. Spaggy Rex. And it promotes your body's own natural responses and does not use synthetic chemicals. Super male vitality is the result of ancient wisdom reinterpreted over several years

in the light of modern equipment and analysis. The history of super male vitality is based on the proprietary spa gyrex process, which was invented during extensive research on the numerous biological deficiencies that males may experience after they age. You know, that post-aging process. Also known as death.

We asked a bunch of corpses what they think. No complaints. They gave us their ancient wisdom. So this led researcher Dr. Group. They kicked Edward out of the band. Dr. Group is my favorite knockoff Dr. Pepper. So Dr. Group, he went on a six-year journey to create the most powerful herbal male hormonal support product on the market.

It all started by studying a combination of herbs that has been traditionally understood to enhance and regulate the body, as well as the works of the most famous 16th century healer, scientist, and formulator, Paracelsus. Paracelsus. So, Victor, you're a doctor. What's your favorite teaching of Paracelsus. Paracelsus. So, Victor, you're a doctor. What's your favorite teaching of Paracelsus? I know you have to just choose one. I'm sorry. I think it's about super boners.

I mean, if I had to pick just one, I think I'd go with Super Boners. Yeah. That was the peak of medicine in the 16th century, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, because that's when we were still bleeding people, right? Right. And that's when we were living hundreds of years, right?

Yeah, exactly. Before all these toxins. And GMOs. Gross. So the ingredients, fruit. Here's the ingredients of the super male vitality. Fruit, root, root, root, root, root, bark, bark, bark, acid. Huh?

Hmm. Bark, bark, bark acid. So that's ingredients that you can trust. Boots, your name is Ben. You're from Emu Planes. Yep. Shift worker, long haul truck driver. Since tacking super male, I've more energy. Added feistiness and sexual Tyrannosaurus Rex

in and out of the bedroom. Oh, boy. Get some! Ooh, God. Why is it always Tyrannosaurus Rex? Why can't it be, like, sexual Brontosaurus or, you know, sexual Triceratops?

It's because of that line in Predator. Hey, this is Cousin Vinny from Texas. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. No, you're not. I'm Cousin Vinny from Kansas. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I said Texas.

Shut the fuck up. You don't want to know the details. Suffice it to say, it has revived my interest in my wife. Hey! Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, gross. You see, my wife is so ugly and fat-looking, I had to take this from super medicine to want to

have sex with her again. Yeah, her biological clock is ticking like this. Wow. I hope they make a movie about you someday. That was a great person from Kansas. Is there somebody else? Jack Chick, is there somebody else from Kansas we could hear from?

Oh, sweet Jesus. Yes, yes. That guy you love to hate from Kansas. That's not your name. What's your name? Yeah. That guy you love to hate, Winky Face. Thank you.

Apologies. hate winky face thank you apologies tell me a little bit about you before we uh get into the the review please oh i do prattle on uh i'm a drummer health conscious musician regular user rock climber very active you're a drummer and a musician, huh? He's a drummer and health conscious. I found out I had chlamydia because taking this product... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't understand why you're confused. I found out I had chlamydia because taking this product caused blood flow and irritation in places that hadn't had that much activity in a while. The chlamydia caused epitimiditis, which turned red into orchideas.

But so far, antibiotics have cleared everything up, and everything is fantastic! So this drummer hasn't been laid in so long, he didn't notice that the last time he got laid, he got chlamydia. He hasn't had a boner since then. I don't know, he's just busy rock climbing. I'm very active. Rock climbing is the real sex. That's better.

He got chlamydia from the rocks. That makes sense, actually, if you think about it. Had I not taken the super mail, I may have had chlamydia for much longer without seeing any side effects and may have infected others. No, probably not. Probably not, because you're a drummer.

So this is a good product. Thank you. Thank you, Jesus. It's actually, I mean, really what he's telling us is that the product also detects chlamydia. Either that or it gives you chlamydia. Either that or it causes irritation in places that you don't want irritation. And then, Nutshell, what do you have there?

Hmm. I've got John Connor from... The future? From Minnesota? Nope, Michigan. Michigan, okay. This will mess with your poundremones. Yeah, he made a clever pun with hormones. Didn't want to offend anybody.

How do you make a hormone? You tell her a joke like that. Favorite gift from the Infowars shop? This stuff turns you back into an animal. Be careful. If you already mastered your mind, then this is a good test for it. Just remember that you release a chemical off of a thought to get your D-pound-pound-K hard. This will bypass your mind and get your D-pound-pound-K hard for no reason.

Go ape S-pound-pound-T if you want. Did Andrew WK write this? I'm 30 years old and still a bad A pound pound. No, you're not. So I would recommend this to older people with low testosterone. Older people in their 30s. But I hate seeing old people acting all sexual. Yeah.

Sex is for reproduction, absolutely, so just remember. Sex what? Pound, Ari moans, lead to child support, checks, peace. Oh, boy. Wow, it turns out that this... Just drops some knowledge on you. This visitor to Infowars.com is a bad human being. He's got problems with women.

Huh, weird. Just this one? Yeah, we'll flag him. Listen, you puny pieces of shit. My name's Sovereign Patriot. I'm from Hayesville, Kansas, 76060. Oh, great. And I'm going to read you my review on Super Male Vitality from Infowars.com.

Good. Okay, cool. Yeah. Hate to tell you this, but I you my review on Super Male Vitality from InfoWars.com. Good. Okay, cool. Yeah. Hate to tell you this, but I was disappointed in the Super Male Vitality. I am unemployed and broke. Did those two things have anything to do with each other? I would have known it was more of an aphrodisiac instead of testosterone booster. I would have spent the money on Survival Shield X2 instead.

Oh, my god. When I ordered two Survival Shield X2s, I purposely did not select the free Ancient Defense just for the sake of saving you that much more money. Immediately upon trying the Super Mail, I, at Byrosy Morrison, wish I'd spent the money on the more nascent Iodine instead. Are we talking about a video game now? No.

We're talking about real fucking life, Victor. We're talking about health. This is the chem table from Fallout 4. You don't provide people with nascent iodine in the emergency room? Clearly you know nothing about health. What kind of ailments would you prescribe ancient defense for? Mostly ancient problems, I guess. Ancient solutions.

Ancient roaming warlords. Ancient Chinese secret. That's also for sale for $59.99 InfoWars Life Ancient Chinese Secret It just sounds like a bunch of magic cards to me at this point I play Survival Shield

I am running low on iodide again I have no money I'm panicking how to get more Go to fucking Walgreens. I don't understand. Iodine isn't even expensive. It's in salt. What the hell? I hate going even one whole day

You would have more money for iodine if you bought less fucking snake oil from Alex Jones, you moron. I hate going even one whole day without my iodine. Can we work out a deal? I'll return all my bottles for one survival shield X2. I need it.

I've been triangling... Trianging... Trainging. Right. Okay. I've been trainging for war, real training, and have been getting a lot of wounds. I heal at least five times faster,

not mention my muscles recover from workouts and begin the growth process sooner. You're unemployed, are you? That's a surprise. You could say my satisfaction with Survival Shield X2 kind of makes up for my disappointment in the Supermail vitality. However, with my current financial situation, I won't be buying it again anytime soon. Now, if I was wealthy, then yes, I take Supermail every day. It does work and definitely does something because I could feel it. But I am training to defend my land without firearms. Just martial arts and martial arts weapons.

I am sovereign. Yes! A ninja! A ninja! Oh my god! Oh my god! Please make a documentary about this guy! Long live our sovereignty.

Dear Netflix. If you need a bodyguard, tell me. I'll work for a minimum wage just for you. For the cause. If we lost you, we would all lose. Thank you Mr. Jones to you and your team. God bless. Kelly Williams. I want your email address, buddy. I want to

make you a star, motherfucker. Kelly Williams, Farm Ninja. P.S. About a year ago, I Facebooked you and vowed to spread the word about you until you had at least 30 million live audience. You replied with a thumbs up. The FB name was still Mr. Valhalla. I was effective, and the system had attacked my whole life

and the lives of everyone that is dear to me. I'm sure I don't have to tell you the hell we are in now. Still, I help wage the InfoWar. Sovereign to the bone! Strategic info bombs on social media sites timed right before the local news, etc. So many info targets. Sorry I wrote so much.

If you send me a complimentary bottle of Survival Shield X2 or even give me one on front, I would greatly appreciate it. I will be a lifelong customer either way. Don't sell yourself so short, Kelly. Maybe Alex Jones and I have a charity drive? Hey, my name's Uncle Spice. This works, but not as good as a product on eBay called Stiffy and a Jiffy. And their products work a lot better for me. Listen, I want to be super male. I don't want to be spiffy.

No, spiffy in a Jiffy. You got wax in your ears, kid? See, I want to watch a TV show about that guy. Oh, that is really good product creation. It's not on Amazon. It is on Amazon. No, I don't see it. It's on eBay.

No, there's just a product called Stiffy on Amazon. Stiffy in a Jiffy. I thought you said Spiffy and a Jiffy. Why? Why did you think I said something different? Stiffy and a Jiffy. It's a set of three Stiffy and a Jiffy enhancement hot sexy libido stamina erection penis. Fast acting, alcohol friendly, headache free.

Stiffy and a Jiffy on the package. It says the real deal. Stiffy and a Jiffy on the package that says, The Real Deal. Well, you know, it's a product that clearly takes itself seriously. Hey, Boots. Hey, Boots. Guess how much it costs for 24 Stiffy and a Jiffy's.

24? $50. Nope. $219.07. Okay. Plus shipping, obviously. All right. So it's a little more than five bucks per Stiffy. Yeah219.07. Okay. Plus shipping, obviously. A little more than five bucks per stiffy. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, God. So there's obviously super female vitality, which we would expect. There is a product called Child Ease, and we are not reading that for obvious reasons. What? That's when my

outlook on life gets a lot darker. Oh my goodness. But first, Victor just found the website for a stiffy and a jiffy. And the tagline of it is, you'll feel a spiffy when you're getting a stiffy and a jiffy. It dissolves under your tongue.

Oh, yeah, they got tongue dissolving stiffy and a jiffy. Oh, my God, it's an LSD tab. You'll feel a spiffy. You'll feel a spiffy when you get a stiffy and a jiffy. Wait a minute. I just realized there are two competing products. Because the other product was stiffy and a jiffy other product was Stiffy and a Jiffy, this is A Stiffy and a Jiffy. This is at astiffyandajiffy.com, not the...

What about thestiffyandajiffy.com? Hey Lemon, can you look at the FAQ, please? How does it work? Read it, read it, please. Jack Chick, do you have any questions for me About a stiffy and a jiffy? How does it work? How does it work, you ask? How does S-I-A-J work?

Okay, well Loram if some dollar acetamines Consecutar acetylene elite Non voliparit pulit dup diam Pradium omare. Oh, all these medical terms. That's fine. What are the active ingredients, Lillian?

Oh, the active ingredients. Well, lorem ipsum dolersen amide. Consecutor acid elite. That lorem ipsum gets around. I'm allergic to bullet, Pat. Are there any side effects? Oh, are there any side effects oh are there any side effects no known side effects does not contain xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wow. Oh, what a wonderful website this is. Yeah.

All right. I'm sorry. Oh, Alex Jones, of course. Alex Jones. Okay. So this next section here is called Documentaries. In five quotations. And this is an Alex Jones film called Endgame.

Nutshell, if you'll tell us about Endgame, please. Alright. For the New World Order, a world government is just the beginning. Once in place, they can engage their plan to exterminate 80% of the world's population while enabling the elites to live forever with the aid of advanced technology.

This is why modern medicine is evil. For the first time, crusading filmmaker Alex Jones reveals their secret plan for humanity's extermination. Operation Endgame. Because the rich elite don't want a bunch of poor people working for them. Right. They want to have to do it all themselves. This is not self-evidently stupid. Because the rich elite don't want a bunch of poor people working for them. Right. They want to have to do it all themselves.

This is not self-evidently stupid. You're correct. Why isn't that a header on the site? Jones chronicles the history of the global elite's bloody rise to power and reveals how they've funded dictators and financed the bloodiest wars, creating order out of chaos to pave the way for the first true world empire.

And then there's a bunch of bullet points. Watch as Jones and his team track the elusive Bilderberg group to Ottawa and Istanbul to document their secret summits allowing you to witness global kingpins setting the world's agenda and instigating

World War III. Learn about the formation of the North America Transportation Control Grid, which will end U.S. sovereignty forever. Discover how the practitioners of the pseudoscience eugenics have taken control of governments worldwide as a means to carry out depopulation.

And view the progress of the coming collapse of the United States and the formation of the North American Union. Yeah. Why? So, I've... Everybody knows poor people ain't having no babies.

One of the bits of paranoia I've always been super confused by, because I get all of this like, oh, you know, the Bilderberg group and the Illuminati and all that shit. I understand that paranoia. I do. But the one that I've always been really confused by is like all of this Alex Jones shit where it's like where it's like, oh, fuck America. Like it's all it's all like corroding and collapsing.

And like they're turning us into like a North American union. Like, well, why is that worse? I don't... Why is that terrible? That means more Mexicans and Canadians are Americans. Yeah. Do you think Canadians are just as good as you, Lemon? What?

It gets rid of the Constitution. Oh, of course. The thing that separates you from Canadians. I was made in 1776 Were you? You're looking pretty good actually Thank you, I've been taking Super Patriot

And then there are reviews Not on the actual Infowars store But there are some reviews On IMDB for this movie. One of those reviews is GK from Mars. Jack, can we take that, please?

Absolutely. Alex Jones is a British agent. Alex Jones is an agent of British intelligence whose mission is to create his own monopoly in the 9-1-1 truth movement and wreck it from the inside. 9-1-1 truth movement is a joke.

Don't you see? He built the 9-11 conspiracy just to blow it up. He's discrediting calls for independence with his manipulations and obnoxious behavior. calls for independence with his manipulations and obnoxious behavior. Sending and deceiving and ranting characters is one of the most common ploys by the British propaganda machine. He's misleading his listeners and filling their head with deceptions and half-truths. Well, that's, I mean, I would disagree with the half-truths part. So you agree with me? Sure, yeah.

Yeah. He's leading them into the wilderness where they act like useless conspiracy theorists instead of doing anything against the British and the financiers. This guy is out there. He's closely linked to the British and he surrounds himself with anti-American characters

well I mean because there's a few statements that you're making that are true don't argue Lemon just nod and smile and agree until we get out of this elevator this is a really slow elevator this guy is out Jonesy Jones go faster if you guys would stop talking

is this like a the British are controlling all the power in the world kind of paranoia? Yeah, yes. All right. This guy actually is from 1776. That's why they built the United Nations in London. Think about it. Yeah. Alex Jones is the most powerful man in the world.

He's opposing progress in anyone who stands up for the American state. He's fooling millions of people while the financiers in the city of London are wrecking the American economy in the American state. He's fooling millions of people while the financiers in the city of London are wrecking the American economy in the American state. Hang on just a second. You're so close. You're so close. Well, I mean, he's, I mean,

to be fair, there were British financiers that were contributing to the American financier problems. Yeah. Yeah, there were. Right. So, goddammit, British. How come you ruined our economy?

Wait a second. Has anyone ever seen David Cameron and Alex Jones in the same place? Far. Alex Jones has. Which is weird because you'd think they would pose for photo ops more often. Yeah. I think they're the same place? Alex Jones has. Which is weird because you think they would pose for photo ops more often. Yeah, I think they're the same person. He's ranting against a new world order

while in practice fully supporting the plans of the London-based oligarchy! And he's a crook! Oh, well that clinches it. On top of that other stuff. And he's a crook? Damn, I'm clinches it. On top of that other stuff. Shit, Andy's a crook? Damn, I'm sold.

Okay, well let me give you some evidence, okay? Franklin D. Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy were both killed by British Special Forces. No, FDR was killed by his doctor. Right, who was part of the British Special Forces. The CIA is a branch of British intelligence. Alan Dulles worked with the British for decades. After World War II, the British Special Forces. The CIA is a branch of British intelligence. Alan Dulles worked with the British for decades.

After World War II, the British captured key positions in the United States and launched an information war to continue dominating the world. What places did they capture? This guy...

Was the above review useful for you? This guy blows people who carry grudges from the Civil War out of the water. I mean, come on, American Revolution here. No, I think this

guy actually is from 1776. That's the only way that that would make sense, yeah. And then there was a reviewer named Igor Renk who posted a very, very long review.

It's Igor, not Igor. Oh, okay. Igor, whatever. And he posted a very, very long review, but the end of it goes like so. Ask yourself why this world of humane atheists, good Samaritans, merciful Muslims, and meek Buddhists is the world of misery. A gloomy world in which we invade sovereign countries, kill innocent civilians, women and children, tagged as collateral damage. A world in which we spend billions on weapons and wars, not on food. A world in which people die of starvation, where we're saving turtles and toads. A world where we're trying to save

from alleged global warming by introducing another tax, while testing nukes or dropping thousands of tons of napalm and depleted uranium. And while we can't just sit there and do nothing, at least

Alex is out there somewhere with his bullhorn and his camera. I am disappointed by the rating and the number of votes here. I'm sure we've all seen National Treasure, though, and given it a good rating. Right? Right, folks? Haven't we all seen National Treasure? Your baby conspiracy movie? Yes, I've seen it more times than I'd... yeah.

Is Nick Cage playing Alex Jones in those movies? Yeah, I guess it makes sense, yeah. Oh my god, what if Nick Cage is always playing as Alex Jones? It explains the wicker man. Guys, we could bring him back by having him star in an Alex Jones movie. How'd it get burned? It's a conspiracy. How'd it get burned?

How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? I'll tell you how I got burned. These useless eaters! The Illuminati burned it. The Bilderberg Group burned it. Alright, coming down to the end here,

but there are some books, I think books. Maybe they're movies. No, I think they're all movies. Anyway, so there's two different movies that we can choose from here. Adam, I think I'll let you make the choice here.

Yes. Movie number one is called, What in the world are they spraying? And the other movie is called, Why in the world are they spraying? Why the bleep do we spray?

Why or what? I bet if we... Why, I think... Is why the sequel to what? It is, yep. Yeah, let me go with why. All right, why it is. So why in the world are we spraying?

If you'll tell me about it, please. The sequel's never as good. I think this might encapsulate... Well, they might bring us up to speed with, you know. Why in the world are they spraying? Is an investigative documentary

into one of the many hidden agendas associated with chemtrail slash geoengineering programs. Various groups are quietly pursuing these programs. But why? And for whose gain? This film is a follow-up to the groundbreaking documentary,

What in the World Are They Spraying? Which woke up millions to the damaging effects of chemtrails and other geoengineering programs. As a result, movements around the world are being formed to address these crimes, and many concerned citizens are taking action as people become aware of what is happening they are now even more important question of why it's happening michael j murphy originator and co-producer of what in the world

are they spraying in association with barry kolsky have produced why in the World Are They Spraying? in association with Barry Kolsky have produced Why in the World Are They Spraying? to answer that question. I guess the sequels are going to be Where in the World Are They Spraying? Who in the World Are They Spraying? How in the World Are They Spraying? What's fourth in the world?

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Wherefore in the world are they spraying? When in the world are they spraying? When in the world are they spraying? Get the schedule downloaded now. See it live. On the calendar. Spraying on ice.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego being sprayed? Get ready to uncover the environmental and human health implications of geoengineering programs. I'm ready. How geoengineering programs. I'm ready. How geoengineering can be used to control our weather. Great job, guys. Yeah. I mean, you know what? Thanks, world government.

It's been a very mild winter this year. So thanks. Appreciate that. What industries benefit from geoengineering programs? Most, I would assume. How the spraying affects you, your family, and the future of humanity. Well, does it make us like docile, complicit citizens? Because I'm in favor of that. Yeah, conformity.

Absolutely. Woo! Oh, dear. It's already too late for these people. Hey, would you like to drink some of this drink? It's delicious. I'm a sovereign patriot. I only drink one ounce of super male vitality.

How come your boner does that? Because... I don't think your boner should do that. Because it's its own sovereign boner. It's made of steel and silver. In this documentary, you will learn how the aerosols being sprayed into our sky are used in conjunction with other technologies to control our weather. Geo-engineers maintain that their models are

only for the mitigation of now widely debunked theory of global warming. Remember when we debunked global warming? Yeah, it was such a relief. Remember when people that don't exist? You remember when the people that were like, you know,

like the airplanes that were releasing all of the chemicals were like, oh yeah, we the airplanes that were releasing all of the chemicals were like, oh yeah, we're doing this for global warming reasons. Yes. We're spraying out cold things. It's too cold over Kansas.

What is clear is that the chemtrail slash geoengineering can be used as a way to consolidate an enormous amount of both monetary and political power into the hands of the technocratic elites. Damn you, Apple. These people who know how to use computers. Certain international corporations can now leverage weather control to gain power over the Earth's natural systems.

now leverage weather control to gain power over the Earth's natural systems. This, of course, is being done at the expense of every living thing on the planet. Why in the world are they spraying is a must-see film and will revolutionize the environmental movement. It will? Like, by just crushing it? It will start its own because the other one had to end when we debunked global warming. It's the circle of life. Plane go fly over the sky

and leave cloud I don't understand. Why plane make cloud? I don't know. Maybe you should go outside and yell at it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shake your fist at it too.

Get the bullhorn. Well, and then, so Jack Chick, you are no consent? I don't like it. This movie inspired my to go ahead and build a chem buster.

Okay. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da. Stop it. Then I got a blowjob by a chemtrail. Best part of the movie. Plans are on the internet. I love watching the planes fly over and no trails. I got my blue sky back.

Spend the money to purchase this DVD. Then build a chem buster and do something about it. Thank you, Emo Phillips. I built a chem buster. So then Nekir Dragon, or Nekir, I don't know how to pronounce that at all. I don't know how to pronounce that at all. Nakir Draken points out that that review made him very curious on what a chem buster is, and so he did some research. Couldn't find enough useful information on Wikihow,

so instead went to aetherforce.com slash build your own chem buster and take down chem trails. And Victor, if you'll tell us how to make your own chem buster, please. That would be really helpful. Build your own chem buster and take down chem trails. Okay. If you don't know what chem trails are, just look up in the sky every now and then over the next couple of days, and you may just catch one of the unmarked high-altitude mystery jets

releasing a long plume of toxins, which are different than the quickly dissipating vapor contrails of military jets. If you're like most of us, and by that I mean most of us Earth citizens, you're really pissed off about this attack on our health, our lungs, and our planet,

our Earth. You want to know how to remedy the situation to fight backpack. Write a letter. I want to fight eight backpacks. Write a letter. Talk to a representative. Ask questions.

Get the word out. A representative of what? Tell everyone you know. These are all options to explore. They will bring results. Maybe not the results we want, but... Bring results! Over time. Meanwhile, all result we want, but bring result! Over time, meanwhile,

all of us are breathing this stuff, whatever it is they're releasing, directly into our lungs. Here's what you can do to stop the chemtrail madness. There's a reason for everything, even for why you arrived on this page. Could it be that maybe you're supposed to build an organite

chembuster? Oh, like in Prophecy? Is this destiny leading me on? The one true Kimbuster. Think about this carefully. Each well-built Organite Kimbuster unit clears the sky of Kimtrails and produces positive Orgone energy simultaneously. Well, that's handy! For up to 120 miles

in all directions if you add extra crystals. Jesus, that's quite a range. No, you don't get it. My Organite Chem Buster is okay, but my cell phone gives me brain cancer. Well, put more crystals

in that thing, too, then. So, Steve, what is this? It's my Organite Kim Buster It's powered by crystals Hey, you're welcome by the way Each human being that cares about the Earth Each one of us can make his or her own personal Organite Kim Buster Which will absorb and transmute negative Orgone injury

Into positive Orgone energy This will help heal the atmosphere up to 120 mile radius Of where it is placed which will absorb and transmute negative orgone injury into positive orgone energy. This will help heal the atmosphere up to 120 mile radius of where it is placed. Put it wherever you want, in your backyard or somewhere inside your house. It still has the same effect. I thought they were chemtrails, not negative orgone energy trails. Well, chemtrails are made from negatively charged orgones. Yeah. Okay.

Fucking duh. Are orgones the non-earthlings that are causing these chemtrails? Yeah, sure. And the organite chembuster is a major improvement over the cloudbuster design of Wilhelm Reich. Quartz and citrine crystals and organite have been

added to the mix. The organite chem buster does not accumulate negative orgone energy like the cloud buster. It actually pulls negative orgone energy down from the sky and transmutes it. Oh, it is a pyramid! Well, actually, because the first picture, if you're

looking at it, the chem buster looks like a thing that you use to shoot bottle rockets. It's a bottle rocket Gatling gun. So you can turn your chem trails into organite trails. To be fair, that is a really pretty paperweight.

You could put your weed in there. And then scrolling down a bit, nutshell. No, we're not done with organite chem busters. We are most certainly not Nutshell. No, no, no. We're not done with Organite Chembusters. We are most certainly not done with it. Okay. Victor, continue from If Enough.

I'll carry you, Lemon. If enough of us make at least one of these easy-to-build Organite Chembusters, we will effectively disarm and dismantle the billion-dollar Chemtrail program, which is now spraying the world's skies with toxic chemicals and possibly airborne viruses such as H1N1's swine flu virus. What? Man oh man.

They should probably spend another billion dollars so that their conspiracy isn't so easily... I didn't realize how profitable chemtrails were. No kidding. Just some copper and plywood will fuck this thing up. We'll find out exactly what we need.

Here's what you'll need. Materials. Okay. Good. Crystals. Crystals. Any crystals will do. What about crystal light? Can I use that? Crystal Pepsi.

That girl down at the gym named Crystal. Copper pipes, pipe couplers, metal shavings, plywood pieces, three total, resin, a two-gallon bucket. Yeah, I got plenty of that. Just go to Home Depot and ask for three pieces of plywood. They'll know what you're talking about. No, three pieces. You got to tell them Earl sent you. You'll also need tools.

A drill, a flat one and a quarter inch auger bit, a flat one and an eighth inch bit, masking tape, heavy duty glue, mixing dowel, and your hands. But the government took my hands. Well, can I use that in place of the masking tape? Ableist. I want to use Nutshell's hands instead in case

something goes wrong. And then, Nutshell, how do I make an Organite Chem Buster? Well, I'm glad you asked. The first instruction is pretty, you know, useful boilerplate stuff for handymen. You're just getting started.

Okay. What you want to do is you want to start by sending out a strong, positive intention for each crystal. Or all of them together at once. Positive intention. Can I use my supermail to run for this? Be quiet. I'm talking. Oh, my God.

That doesn't seem very positive. Positive intention is a clear thought that you hold for a time in the center of your mind then send out to the crystal. If you want to increase the power of this intention, meditate first.

If you really want to increase it, jelk and then meditate. Once you've cleared your mind of all daily clutter and stopped any internal dialogue, form and sustain the following intention very clearly in your mind.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm paying attention. This thought should be that your crystals work together to attract and transmitute negative orgone energy into positive orgone energy for the benefit of our planet and all the living beings on it. Yeah. That's a really long chant. The thought is this works. Amen.

This thought should be clearly in your mind. We're together So then there's a bunch of like gluing pipes to boards That's pretty much the thing And then the very last paragraph here in the instructions

Okay, so Once the resin is hardened Move your new Organite Chem Buster to your favorite safe and secret, but most of all strategic location. It has a 120 mile radius. How strategic can it be? Well, it says to be strategic because they won't be able to smart bomb it. Okay. Disattach the five foot copper pipe for increased portability. What?

Carry the bucket. You can paint the bucket a darker color, green or brown if you like, to disposability. Positive energy for all. Yeah. Namaste. Namaste. Possibility, positive energy for all. Yeah. Namaste. Namaste. Thank you for your complicated letter. I actually, I was on the, just now I was on the Wikipedia, the talk page for Chemtrails,

and it was actually less interesting than I thought it would be. I thought it would be a really long slap fight, but it's not. It should just say, sources needed. fight, but it's not. It should just say sources needed. Oh, I've got a bit of fun homework for the listener who wants to learn more about chemtrails.

Do a search on YouTube for people misting vinegar in the air to prevent chemtrails. Oh, yeah. Not only does it clean your windows, it gets rid of chemtrails. People just standing out in their fucking backyard spraying vinegar upwards. It's the best.

That's the thing, man. These people got a billion dollar budget to make these chemicals to sedate the populace. They didn't realize that Yankee ingenuity would figure it out that home vinegar. One person has done it so much that their lawn can no longer grow grass. You know it's working if the air tastes like pickles.

So what did we learn from this episode, F-Plus? Not much. I think we have new merch ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we have new merch ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the stickers and the t-shirts, that's fine, right? But we don't have our own

F plus coffee. We need to supplement increased panic vitality. How much could we charge for bulletproof F plus coffee, Jack Chick? Bulletproof coffee is like 100 bucks a pound, right? Yeah. No, I mean, I don't think we're going to get that kind of scratch, but we could probably do 50 bucks a time.

All right, cool. Yeah. You know, the thing is, is we'd have to come up with our own, like, you know, trick. Like, you can only use clarified yak butter or something. What we could do is we could sell, sell, because there's a whole bunch of, the stores.infowars has a whole bunch of preparing for the apocalypse shit to put in your bunker, right?

And we could sell the episodes as something to listen to in your bunker to remember what the world used to be like so that you can be happy that it's just right. That's a good idea. We can sell Lemon and

Portak's body pillows to keep you company in the bunker. I can't imagine which would be less popular. Tied at zero. So one of the things that struck me while we were reading through all these reviews

is how many of them sounded like fucking those penthouse stories, but also fanfic. Like, then I got the key to the city and everybody loved me and it's made my entire life better in every

single possible way. I learned that there's there's way more of an overlap between uh like new age bullshit and info wars uh to people than i would have ever expected well it makes sense because they're just not i'll make their their you know it's it's the same people that are just like i don't listen to the man yeah and you're just gullible sure like you're just downright gullible also like because because like the info wars thing is like sort of this weird like separate piece of paranoia where like it's a for example they don't take bitcoin you know what i'm saying like like they take paypal like so it's so it's it's

it's a almost commercialized like it's it's weird because like i would imagine that like being being alex jones and kind of like taking like a tight noose around these like gullible people and and you know the extent to which you believe your own bullshit well they don't take bitcoin because it's not real money well sure but i mean you could still i mean exchange it in the moment for money like i mean i'd assume that like if i was reaching out to paranoid lunatics i would absolutely be trying to take well these are all they're also like technophobic too yeah it's it's like they wouldn't do bitcoin because they don't understand anything about it and therefore it could possibly be Builder Burger Bitcoins. Builder coins.

Builder coins. Yeah, and I mean, this guy has a long history of conflict with the truth. And I mean, one of the things that I think is so striking is he's loose change. He's the guy who made the Loose loose change documentary and that changes every time somebody debunks it like it's a living documentary you know like he's he's just a he's a fucking maniac and i don't think he even knows what he's doing i think like he's so in the moment he's so himself he does not he does not have uh foresight or hindsight i don't think he needs it i think he's smart enough that he doesn't take bitcoin but he also doesn't take the silver coins that he sells to the rubes on his website you can you can only pay him in legal tender and that's

that's on purpose well because the other thing that the other thing that i mean um because like the point where like where where i go from like laughing at these people to getting really depressed is is to recognize that like that like you know ha ha and then it's like oh god you all have a whole bunch of guns and have a super big heart on for a war well yeah children's supplements because then it's like oh my god you're involving kids absolutely and they vote all the time all the time all the time that's terrifying as hell but the but the other thing that's a little i don't know that's a little bit of a bright side is that they talk about these um movements that they have you know like we're a movement and that's not true because it's not like these people are forming together a militia other than like you know they'll get together in

somebody's garage and and like oh yeah you know i'll also bitch about hillary clinton but that's not a movement but but he's also the guy who kind of took the jade helm thing and turned it into this sort of controversy like jade helm is it Jade Helm was just supposed to be a secret army exercise to train people before they went to war. And Alex Jones, some maniac, just thought that it was a secret invasion plan, which Alex Jones did not check. He just ran with. And so all of his idiot listeners flooded the area and just armed themselves openly because it was in Texas and just completely fucked up everything.

It's not just people hanging out in their garage bitching about the government. This guy is a figurehead and I think one way or another he's going to start something. Well, and that's, I mean, I know this summary here is getting a little long, but like but like, you know, in like it's it's a little germane to like recent events just because like, you know, like like we as we as, you know, thinking people like we just tend to like dismiss with snarkiness like the shit that's happening and this idea of like, well, you know, like Donald Trump, like doesn't believe his own shit. And it's like, it's like, well, that may or may not be true.

But the fact is like people fucking die because of these decisions. And that's and that's the case of like of like that you have people that are like that are that are being opportunistic and just spreading bullshit just because. And there's real consequences there. And if you think the world's a horrible place filled with miserable people and we're all fucked, come to Ball Pit! Where's that website?

That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T-E. All right, buy a t-shirt! Bye! Bye! See you in the bunker. Oh, you betcha. Oh, God. Don't start. Oh, I did start doing. Now it's so hard to stop.

Oh, Christ, Lemon. Can't you just do a podcast? Oh, you know I can do a podcast. A real good one, der. You know, Margie's going to come over with some hot dish later. Oh, I love Margie's hot dish. Right after we frame Stephen Avery for murder. And do some scrapbooking.