The F Plus - 207: Can I Borrow Your Brain?

Episode Date: April 2, 2016

There's a number of websites out there that can try to teach you some certain type of magic spell, or some certain type of mind control technique, but the superpredators over at Xtreme Mind take a shotgun approach to their methods, selling Neurolinguistic programming, mind power machines, magical wish fulfillment, orgone boxes, and pretty much anything else that they think will get clicked on. This week, The F Plus is posing magestically in front of red backgrounds.

Paul Blart Moral Cop 2 is the most innovative movie I've seen in years. This is the F+, a wonderful place for terrible things, A talisman explodes into the night when you take off. This is the F+, a wonderful place for terrible things, red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. I bought a talisman from this guy living not far from me. He considered himself a very talented magician and magus, even though I had no idea who he was. Yes, Vahan? That talisman cost me $100, it only lasted a few weeks, It had a very short shelf life, but wow, what weeks they were.

Lol. Kumquats up. After a while, the pressure will build and cause a throbbing sensation. This is how you use Chi. From Lou Reads the Internet for you, this is Lou Fernandez. The CEG-1000 Chi Energy Gun or GONE Shooter. As I mentioned, you can point your life energy shooter at food, water, supplements, and humans, which you want to help, as well as locations.

And lemon. Lust fully stimulates the two base chakras resulting in pheromone release and the radiance of raw primal sexuality. It's partially based on remote influence and Faustian McGick. So you sell yourself soul for it. Yes.

Deal with you. You have plus? Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hello. Hello. Do you guys have mind power? No. Mind? Mind power. Mind power, plus. Hey, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hello. Hello. Do you guys have mind power? No.

Mind? Mind power. Mind power, yes. Mind power, not Minecraft power. No. No. None of you have mind power? Not me.

Oh, man. Okay, well, that's fine. You know, I'm sure, you know, maybe I've said this before in other episodes, but I think your lives are going to get better today. I think that's a safe bet. Because we're going to... It'll be true. Right, exactly.

We're going to be looking at a website that's going to improve your lives, all of them, and it is called... Not the Twitter feed for counting crows. By the way, twitter.com, countingcrows underscore. It's just a Twitter feed of a for counting crows. By the way, twitter.com, counting crows underscore. It's just a Twitter feed of a guy counting crows. Anyway,

uh, we're going to be going to, uh, extreme mind.com. That's X T R M E mind.com. Um, it's where you can have mind power. Um, it uses the favorite middle of my screen.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know how big your monitor is, but anything outside of the middle 320 pixels is irrelevant. If you're checking this site out with a super wide monitor, you're going to

want to turn that shit sideways. I hope this is an actual center tag. I'll be really excited. It's like having a giant smartphone. Confirmed. This is an actual center tag. I'll be really excited. It's like having a giant smartphone. Confirmed. This is an actual center tag. Excellent.

Let's critique. So, yeah. So we're going to be talking about Mindpower. This was a document put together by Montreth. And there are products to sell. There's products that we're going to buy. And it's going to really improve really probably everything about us. So, Lou, is it true that you started out

with zero 15 years ago? I did. I started out with zero 15 years ago. $200 in the bank, shredded social life, and the tired chihuahua was my best friend. The hallmark of

failure. Familiar story? No. Surely you know this old chestnut. Yeah, we all get chihuahuas when we're losers. Is this the premise of Beverly Hills Chihuahua? The story of a man and his tired chihuahua.

But I discovered a staggering secret. Yes? Then, the year after i vaulted no no no moving on i vaulted my first million like hobnob with the who's who and life well it just kept getting better okay Okay. 180 degree turnaround. Things simply became magic. That's magic without a K. So Magic Johnson. It's also capital M magic.

So it did become Magic Johnson. Would you like to steal the very tools that empowered me? Steal? I mean... Steal implies I'm not going to pay pay for this you have to come to my secret lair and steal them from my giant well i know so would you like terrific but i must this must be a dream right is this a dream this isn't a dream no uh you've just discovered a massive compendium of the very tools and controversial mind power techniques

that catapulted me to the pinnacle of social success. Okay. Is that what comes after social studies? I never found out. And by pinnacle, I mean the whole ballgame. Bloated bank accounts. That's not what pinnacle means. Jammed social calendars.

Fast cars. Great jobs. Dream vacations. and truly explosive living. Oh, man. I thought it was going to be a cum thing, but okay. What uplifted me can quickly and readily empower you? Stop and answer this. Do you want to make money online easily?

Yeah. Sure. We all do. That sounds great, actually. Do you want to get girls attracted? That's a weird way to word that, but sure. Do you seek to solve business problems in seconds? What kind of problems? But we've already started this website, theallp.it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to create a vast social network? Okay, sure. Is this a Winklevoss Brothers site? Maybe. I don't know what else they did, frankly. Is it all very easy? It is all very easy when you tap the irresistible powers of your mind.

Make your dreams a reality. Right now. Right now? Well, okay, how? How? How do I want to? That sounds... I want to hobnob with the who's who.

I've only been able to hobnob with the guess who. I'm sorry. Does the person you're hobnobbing with have a beard? Yeah, as long as you don't schlobnob. So you're not telling me that I can be beard? Yeah, as long as you don't schlob knob. So you're not telling me that I can be a mind power maven, are you? What? Who, me?

Yeah. Of course I am. I'm telling you to be one. Be a mind power maven. Wow. I couldn't have called that. Well, maybe you're already using the power of your mind. You've begun unlocking it already.

Oh, wow. Drawing from a vast array of neuro- programming oh yeah you know nlp right research mind power techniques and mind machines orgone technology subliminal hypnotherapy and advanced manifestation methods you can easily wield the ultimate means for empowerment. Well, this is great, because sometimes we'll read... I mean, I think that one of the problems that we've had as a podcast is that we'll read people that are covering one kind of bullshit, you know, linguistic programming or orgone technology,

but you're combining all of that together. So a bunch of things that don't work together makes one working thing, right? This is already increasing our efficiencies. Yeah. So what's in it for me, then? So, you might ask what's in it for you. I am. I am, in fact, asking that.

All right, then. The answer is everything. If you're tired of financial mediocrity. If you're sick of the corporate rut, if social relationships just go nowhere, and if everything you do just doesn't seem to work, then I dare you to reinvent yourself. Oh, well, okay. I double dare you to make a crappy website.

This site. This site walks you by the hand and guides you to your destination. Imagine a new you in 30 minutes. This site is about mind power at its finest. Oh, wow. This is quite a lot of cell. I wonder. Okay.

Okay. So I should power up my mind? Is that what you're telling me? I should power up my mind? Let me see. About power up my mind? Is that what you're telling me? I should power up my mind? Let me see. I'm about to fire up the mind. This is a lot of scrolling. Search your mind.

Yeah, scroll through all that 320 pixels of inner content. In your mind. In your mind. What? Oh, it's all hard-coded. P style margin left 8 pixels. Oh, here. The bottom line is it's all about you.

Power up your mind. I want you to experience the dizzyingly delightful roller coaster ride that I took years back and continue to take now. Whether your problem is social or financial, relationship or personal, relational or personal, I guarantee that you'll find the right tool to make your life magic. Okay. Sure. I mean, I felt like I was... There was a moment where I felt like I didn't

necessarily trust you, but then I saw that you had this chart in the middle of the screen that advertises that I can dominate my universe and that your product is 100% crap free. You know it. Yeah. He's had to address that concern before.

Yeah, there's an infographic that takes you through the structure, which is that NLP, down arrow, magic, which is the icon for magic is a fork and a knife. And then there's a down arrow that goes to psionics, the icon for which, of course, is binoculars. Okay.

Well, yeah, so I'm pretty much on the hook. I'm really into this. So it looks like you have some mind control power techniques. So it's both control and power. That sounds great. Isvan, will you tell me a little bit about that? I'd be happy to.

And please start out your pitch with a rejected magic illustration. Okay. First of all, with mind power, of course, you'll be using your hand to cast the Mind Power, which is thrusting your hand into a bunch of cigarette smoke that has a red gel light shining on it. Hell yeah! I love this rave. The important part of tapping Mind Power is to be the box cover of an early 2000s video card. Yeah, totally!

Oh yeah, that could be an 8800. Okay. Revealed Mind Control Power Techniques, Part 1. And we already have a link. Watch CIA tactics used for deep seduction. But we won't watch that

right now, instead I'm going to tell you about mind powers I want to see a CIA orgy but okay it's for national security dammit mind power secret master techniques you're about to discover real mind power

techniques in a few seconds relish the power you discover mind control it's the same sentence. It's the holy grail for those practicing the esoteric arts. Notwithstanding its negative connotations, the use of mind power in the hands of the benevolent can bring about great social and physical benefits. Wikipedia unfortunately defines mind power control in the following manner.

Oh, this is going to be unfortunate. Yeah, get a load of this, guys. Okay. Triple X refers to a process in which a group or individual systematically uses unethically manipulative methods to persuade others to conform to the wishes of the manipulators, often to the detriment of the person being manipulated. By the way, that triple X, the word that he was replacing with triple X was the word brainwashing. Oh. Okay.

I was wondering if it was Vin Diesel or Ice Cube. It was pornography. Pornography refers to a process. And it's a mind control XXX. It sure ain't. This definition stands in stark contrast to the esoteric definition of mind power, which is loosely defined as...

Well, let me go to esotericopedia and find out. The power to influence persons, circumstances, and events through non-physical means and solely via mental energy, or the force of the mind. Okay. You know, if esotericopedia existed, I'd never get any work done again. Isn't that basically wikiHow, though? Okay. No, they have the annual Quidditch match against Conservopedia. I would pay money for that.

It's just a contest to see who can cheat more. Okay. On this site, we are concerned with the latter definition, of course. That is, the power of the mind to alter objects' events through the mind utilizing subtle energy. Subtle. Okay,

subtle sounds good. It is this capability that can bring sweeping and profitable changes in your life. The mind power formula. Carl Wells of HCT points out to the esoteric phenomenon known as action at a distance. He postulated that thought on its own has the capacity to change things in the physical world. At its core, he says, think and so shall it be. Note how there is a parallelism with the Einstein theory of the same term action at a distance.

And since I brought Einstein up, you know it's got to be legit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think in this podcast, I've always liked everyone named Einstein. Everyone who associates themselves with Einstein. Okay. Well, he's not talking about brainwashing here because there's four X's. Quadruple X in physics. Action at a distance is the non-local interaction of objects that are separated in space.

This term was used most often in the context of early theories of gravity and electromagnetism to describe how an object responds to the influence of distant objects. Yeah, gravity. More generally, action at a distance describes the failure of early atomistic and mechanistic theories, which sought to reduce all physical interaction to collision. The exploration

and resolution of this problematic phenomenon led to significant developments in physics, from the concept of a field to descriptions of quantum entanglement and the mediator particles of the standard model. There's a click to read more button. I don't want to click it.

I, uh, I'm not, uh, how come? Okay, where's the part where, like, I have magic powers? Well, yeah, I was wondering, how does this translate into, like, hypnotizing women? Right, because there's... In bank accounts. Because there's many parts um to the uh to the mind control um uh thing uh there's a uh so so montreux went through all of the pages there's many pages to the mind control power techniques um i think like four, four pages. Is Montreux controlling my mind?

She always has been. So one of the things that's in the document is some text that says in red, here they teach you how to make a fucking chi ball. I remove that bit as redundant because we already know how to do that. Yeah. That is old news. I'm sure it's exactly the way we learned. You play guitar to it, right?

No, that's to clean your crystals. Cleanse, I'm sorry. Cleanse your crystals. Fucking noob. Let me... Oh, my God. Let me try to get through all of the many, many pages of this. Oh, there's an ad in the middle of the instructions. Because there's extreme mind control power, page one, page two, page three,

and then page four says, got photos? Guess what? I'll pay for them. How does $20 for a photo sound? Click here and get paid. Yeah, so let's do a mind control exercise right now, Isfahan.

Okay. Step one. Sit quietly. Stow your mind. Calm your body. I've had a hard time doing that. Okay. Okay. Step two. Focus on your breathing. Slow it down. Now breathe rhythmically. Six breaths in.

Hold it three counts. Six breaths in. Hold it three counts. Six breaths out. So like syncopated? So six, six. Yeah. And hold that in. Yeah, yeah. See? Oh, that's a good rhythm, actually. I like it. Oh, I did seven. Fuck.

What happens to me now? I control your mind. Your head explodes. I don't know. Okay, step three is repeat the pattern. So you gotta do it again. Oh no, you fucked up again! I can't tell if Boots is channeling his mind energy or he just saw

Frankenstein and can't articulate it to Lemon. No, no, no. That sounds like... Okay. My mistake. Step four of six is congratulations. You just accomplished the very basic energy accumulation exercise. Good job, Boots!

Hey! Wow. Carry this on for ten minutes and your body will literally throb with energy. Okay, move further away, Boots! Guys? Guys? Oh, is your body literally throbbing again? Yeah.

With energy? That's gross. Okay, step five. Let's make it more interesting. Let's create an energy ball with pure mind power. Oh, okay, that's simple. Hold your palms near your stomach parallel to each other. Concentrate for five minutes at the center of both palms.

Now feel it like a hose. Wait, what is it? What it? Am I feeling like a hose? The chi ball. Okay. It's it. The chi ball. Your stomach.

Okay. It's it. It's flooding the space between your hands with rapidly condensing ball of chi. Condensing? Yeah. Rapidly condensing. Like a hose. You know, like a ball hose.

A ball hose of chi. So chi was a gas. No, that's condensating. Chi is damp. Okay. She is damp. Okay. As the ball fills, intone the statement, I call upon my higher consciousness. Allow me to send this energy to my loved one.

I call upon my higher consciousness. Yeah, why intone? Allow me to send this energy to my loved one. Step six. Raise your arms and fling the energy in a continuous stream to a friend who is feeling ill. Isn't this how they kill each other in Dragon Ball?

So you're saying to pick up women in a club I have to have a sick friend? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have to heal them in front of the girl you like. At a certain point, you will feel a resistance telling you that this is enough you've just accomplished your first healing technique using mind power okay whoa it's just that simple how you feel now lou

i'm feeling pretty good thanks so i don't think you can stop sending the energy. I got the congratulations earlier. Yeah. So on this site, there's various tools designed to aid my efforts at boosting such mind control powers as the Longhorn, which is a heavy-duty energy-generating device, right? And also the evolution, which is an energy-multiplying device. So that sounds pretty good,

because these devices make it easy to generate energy without conscious effort. But Isfahan, are such devices necessary? Well, your goals determine that. Okay. Okay. Oh, you thought you were getting a straight answer from me, huh? I was hoping. For minor mind power endeavors,

doing yoga or pranayama is more than adequate. You can heal a sprain by breathing as described and channeling your life force into the afflicted part. You know, medicine. That sounds like your brainwash-y boots. Yeah. You can heal a sprain by breathing, which is why nobody ever gets sprains. Because they were already breathing.

Now you're talking sense. Finally. Now, if you plan to raise a constant supply of energy for goals like attracting women, creating wealth online, or energizing your entire field of crops What? I can only assume he means in Farmville That's when you might want the easy way out and invest on a chi generator or radionics machine Uh Uh radionics machine. Uh. Uh.

Think of these devices as a V12 upgrade for your standard 120 horsepower mind power. Whoa. And here's some Apple ad copy at the bottom. Extraordinary spells. Truly powerful. Oh, really? Because I got a different ad, which is covert hypnosis to unlock her legs fast.

I got snap your fingers and create real magic. Click here for the secret. And my ad, because I clicked on it, obviously, went to Comic Sans and it says, how to use the scrambler to get a girl obsessed with banging you!

Okay, so this is well monetized. I think this program is targeting people with low self-esteem. Trustworthy. It's actually crashing Chrome, that ad did. Mind power. Yeah. So, okay, so now we need to go to the frequently asked questions on extrememind.com. So, Boots, I have a couple questions for you.

If you can answer them for me, that would be really super helpful. I've got so many answers for all of your questions. You have a lot. And your policy was updated February of 2009. So, can I heal my XXX disease or diagnose the same using binaurals, sound frequencies, or chi energies? All products are experimental. No statements on this site are evaluated by the FDA. None of the CDs, books, devices, and gadgetry are intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. It is your responsibility to assess the viability of alternative treatment processes by research and experimentation. Sure. I have a hard time achieving the theta state mentioned in PS5. Oh, that's... We can all relate, right? Are we... Apparently, we're also selling Scientology.

Yep. Don't fret. Only 20% of the techniques rely on theta brainwaves. Focus on the 80% that are non-theta. You'll progress quickly and aren't really missing much. But for those people who like it, pay for it. Oh, sure. I sometimes hyperventilate when doing some of the PS5

techniques, is this dangerous? no you're simply absorbing more chi and oxygen it's healthy ok, hyperventilating is healthy, is it? right, yep it's just your body really really wanting to bring more chi into it

sure so far that it passes out. I vibrate, throb and feel disoriented when listening to your subliminal soundtracks. Is that normal? The CDs include precise harmonics designed to entrain your brainwaves to optimum

levels. You know, they entrain them. They also activate your chakras. As your energy patterns adjust, these cleansing reactions will dissipate and you'll feel great. Warning, epileptics shouldn't use our CDs.

Also, track three is from a ska band that I'm in. I hope you enjoy it. This is the worst demo reel I've ever heard. I gotta get this shit out to the people somehow. Come for the harmonics, stay for the sky. That's how it always goes.

Alright, Boots, this is double speak challenge mode. You ready? Aren't your sneaky NLP techniques unethical? Isn't persuading people with such methods wrong? I like that I never give yes or no answers. Every day your lives are actually persuading people to see your point. Do you consider that unethical? No.

As you think about that, would you rather persuade others in your currently ineffective and abrasive manner, or would you rather do so in a suavely non-confrontational style? NLP is about expanding people's perceptions to see facets of an argument in various exciting ways.

Hey, Boots. Will you suck my cock? Yeah. Okay. It works. Well, then I think the ineffective and abrasive matter is working out just fine. It's really...

I got no complaints. Well, why don't you just try it in a suave lead-on confrontation? Okay. Hey, Boots! Usually you ask after the podcast. Will you suck my new direction? Sure. Okay, so how soon before I see results?

How soon before you see the results? That depends entirely on you. Of course it is. I can give you a gun, but if you keep it locked up in your cabinet, you'll never be a sharpshooter. You'll never accidentally kill yourself. That's an interesting analogy.

Your children will also never shoot you with them. While gloating about how you take your little kid out shooting. These books aren't meant to be read as theoretical dissertations read them then practice the tactics daily alright so I think now there was a moment where I was like well let me skip to the products but then I wanted to present Extreme Mind

in the way that it presents itself, which is like, you know, try to beat you over the head with bullshit and then wait until page 40 to actually try to sell you the product. So to that end, we are going to the catalog now. There's a

number of different products. They all look really terrific, really exciting, really innovative. There's ones that have spinning... There's the ones that have spinning new graphics right next to them.

Some of them, a lot of them have ads and JavaScript alerts that come up. So that's exciting. So come Quads up. I'm's exciting. So come Quest up. I'm just going to ask you about a couple of the products that are direct download products. I like products.

Somehow. So tell me about the Millionaire Creator. I would love to tell you about that. You bet. I know you would. Yes. You can finally install the DNA of success and wealth without visualization. Fully automatic bestseller in USA.

Install the DNA. Where do I install the DNA? Do I have like an access port or? Yeah, you got the drivers. Okay. Yeah. That's a vial of Ted DiBiase's urine. Oh, really?

Because I just get him to pee on me. It's fine. He doesn't mind. There's something millionaires don't want you to know. What's that? Almost a decade ago, Metamind and Extreme Mind released the wildly popular MLF Da Money. In the year that followed, the results flooded in. People preselled themselves to heights of affluence they never thought possible.

Lives took delightful turns. Porsches careened down the road. Businesses mushroomed. Many are competitors. Mushroomed? That sounds like NLP right there. Yeah. That's a millionaire. That like NLP right there. Yeah. That's a millionaire.

That's what happens when you install it. Speaking of your MLF, will you tell me about MLF DaBabe 2? Well, yeah, I was looking at DaBabe 1. It has a rank of 69. Of course it does. Yeah, yeah. Please buy it. Metamind.com.

I'm on it. One of the web's most powerful system to win women in minutes. Win women? From a vending machine? No, from a Best Buy. Metamind.com doesn't seem to be online. Wait, Esfahn, I thought you were kidding with that sentence. But no, a Best Buy with Kundalini Activator to triple the attraction power!

Best Buy is capitalized, that's why. Yeah, correct. You get it if you get the extended warranty on MLF DeBabe 1? You get it if you get the extended warranty on MLF DaBabe 1? Well, so MLF DaBabe probably wants DaMoney. Is there anything I can do about that? MLF DaMoney. Also, coincidentally, and a huge coincidence, it is also ranked 69.

Please buy at Metamind.com. Please bring about... It's not online. No. Bring about the mountains It's not online! No. Bring about the mountains of wealth you've always wanted. Guaranteed. What spell do I need to make metamind.com work as a domain? Well, if they made these actual links, it might. So I have Damoney and Dababe, which is great.

No, but hang on. Hang on. There's another one that also has rank 69, which must not be a coincidence, which is Tidal Wetness. Ew! Ew! Ew! Oh, God!

Perhaps the only subliminal energy music combo that will turn you into a shining star in an entire room. Third-party product. So, it's just that song, right? Shining star for you to see. Look at your super wet pussy. I thought there was a title wetness song I didn't know about. There probably is.

Hey, come quiet. Hello! I really like Precious Gems, specifically rubies. But I'd really like if some sort of mortal sin could be applied to one of them. It's the legendary

sloth rubies. Pride rubies. Oh, yes! Yes! I hate to disappoint you But the only ones I have left are lust rubies I'll take those That's fine You can deal with that

And I know you wanted them from Burma But I don't care because Energetically impregnated real rubies from Myanmar Which transforms you into an irresistible alpha male In two days Sex appeal unleashed Third party product Rubies from Myanmar, which transforms you into an irresistible alpha male in two days. Sex appeal unleashed. Third-party product.

How do you use these rubies? You sprout a backwards backstrap cap. Kumquat's up. I tried out Silent Seduction 1.0. I kind of felt like it was old-fashioned and lame. Do you have any sort of upgrades to Silent Seduction 1.0? Silent but deadly seduction. Oh, I didn't know that was a farting one. What?

Fart seduction? Yeah, baby, that was me. This is also new, new, new. This is rank 29. I don't know if that's higher than rank 69, but it was featured on CNN by Anderson Cooper. Right. Colon.

Outrageous combo of gestures. Right? Yeah, it's outrageous, like so many middle fingers. Outrageous combo of gestures and side techniques got this guy 18 girlfriends. Anderson Cooper? Was it mentioned in the same bit as Roosh V getting banned from Australia?

I think it was. How to put a girlfriend curse on Anderson Cooper. More importantly, more importantly, more importantly, the next one right below the silence induction is the Lust Generator 3.0, which is a major version bump in the Lust Generator,

featured on BBC and Forbes magazine in flames instant, lost in total strangers. In flames, instant lust in total strangers. So the bouncers of all the nightclubs in the world have been given a big notice about Lust Generator 3.0 because this says, warning, can get you banned from nightclubs if caught. Excuse me, sir, we don't allow men trying to pick up women in our nightclub. Hey, I'm watching the video on the page for The Lust Generator, and it tells me that I'm not the only one watching it, because there's currently 1,122,980 people watching it right now. Wow.

What was your number again? What number was it again? 112,000. Sorry, 1,122 908 oh interesting well 15 people have gone on since you clicked on that so that's pretty impressive all of them were not made definitely not how many tabs do you have open i really want to know about lust generating um i would also problem with the last generator is it's giant like it's really you have to wheel it and it's like an old uh film projector uh hello night club i have my wheelbarrow to bring in uh no no no i need this for list old av cart yeah uh so uh

who who here has upgraded their android device lately? I can't, actually. Mine's kind of been locked into a version. Well, in that case, you're probably in luck because Ultra Psionic 1.2 is an Android-based manifestation software with energy drawn from Godcasters. It runs on Android jelly bean and up. What? what what i know i know when when google made fucking android they made their women hypnotizing api and but it only was introduced as of jellybean so yeah, yeah. So, um... Oh, wait. Where was it? Okay, yeah, yeah. So, I have this girl and she's pretty great

except for her legs are locked. I would like to unlock her legs. Is that possible? No. Can we unlock her legs? Oh. Can you help me with that? Oh, well, you only have to be level 19 for this.

I'll do a little bit of questing. Kumquat made it sound like he's coming up with a product as he was replying. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's right here. Yeah, in Tom Clancy's The Division, you only have to be level 19 to unlock her legs. This renowned hypnosis expert, me, maybe, teaches six words that will get a stranger to drop the underwear fast. Drop the underwear! Put the underwear on the ground! Well, the six words are, drop the underwear or you die so uh so six words that

sounds uh like too much are they um are they all the same word i don't know six words i don't have the fucking time in the day for six words will you tell me about horny impulse instead well hang on uh but unlock her legs, you already know three of these words. Unlock her legs? Her unlock legs. Now, now, now, now. Alright, so that's great,

but tell me about horny impulse. Horny impulse? Horny impulse. Horny impulse? I can impulse. Horny impulse. Horny impulse. I can't. I can't. No.

No. Why not? No. No. No. No. It's banned. Oh, but please. It's in red text.

It's both new and banned. It got banned so fast. Well, then why is there a link to it? Because it's only level 20. Based on energy projection, Dash, you can get women hardy in five seconds with

three words and a gesture! Alright, so six words and three words and a gesture. It's just... What is it? Drop her panties or whatever the other one was. Pointing a finger. Hey, come quite. What? Hello?

I was thinking of trying to kick a smoking habit while base jumping. I love both of those things. Well, you must be part of the anti-fun league, or whatever the fuck it was. Quit the habit for good if you're level 39 or over. What's the product name? This would be Quit Smoking Extreme!

Yeah! Vin Diesel and Ice Cube can do this. But presumably none of us, unless you're level 39 or over, quit the habit for good. Finally, you can breathe easily and smell like roses. Breathing easily apparently involves hyperventilating, though. Yeah. It's healthy.

It's healthy to do that. Breathing easily means breathing harder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Increase your latent mind power today. Yeah. I don't have any way in the world to segue into this.

Come what's up, please tell me about Zeus. I like Zeus. Yeah, yeah. What is the rating on Zeus? Nah North America Okay fine don't Oh

This is a heavy tachyon reactor Did you know that? No do I have to get Like a Like a tachyon like a hard one? You need Geordi It's going to protect you against Quint

Hey Lemon, how many goals do you have? Okay, I've got probably 15 15 or 16 goals Fuck you, no, that's too many No, you can only I meant to say 12 I meant to say I have 12 goals Fuck you. No, that's too many. I... No. You can only... I meant to say 12.

Yeah. I meant to say I have 12 goals. I can only help you if you have 12 goals. Because this can attack 12 goals with impunity, 12-core behemoth with dedicated Android tablet. What? Providing frequency generators, psionic symbol, built-in psionic audio, and more, perhaps the most kick-ass device in its class. Impregnated with, ew, with white powder gold?

I think we all know what he's talking about there. I put some gold powder in the USB port of my Android tablet here. Oh, did you know that Zeus is a tachyon booster rayonix? powder in the USB port of my Android tablet here. And now... Oh! Did you know that Zeus is a Tachyon Booster Rayonix Ultramind Division Manufacturing Reality Engine Reactor Qi Resonating Cell Amplifying Coil Tuning Grid Interface Scalar Generate Android

Power? Are you an Advanced Magi? Check. I mean, I'm Intermediate. Check. Are you an aspiring tycoon? Are you an intermediate healer? Check. Are you a pro athlete? Check.

Are you a gambler but also lousy at it? Check. Are you an occult enthusiast? Check. Are you a mind whore? Check. Whore. mind whore? Check. Whore. Whore.

Yeah. Okay, I guess you can have this Android tablet then. I don't see... I see a picture of something that looks like something out of the Stanford Prison Experiment. I don't see a Nexus 7 in there anywhere. No, it's... Scroll down a bit. Yeah.

Oh, now I see. Okay, now I see it. That doesn't look in there anywhere. Oh, now I see. Okay, now I see it. That doesn't look like a tablet. Oh my god. Oh my god. Did you know that the potential of scalar magnetic and resonance stimulation include better fluid exchange through the cell membrane

through complete cell detoxification? He blew the shit out of these frames. Oh, my God. All right. Come on, I need to bring you back to the catalog just for one second here. Just sorry, but I need to bring it back to the catalog. So I want you to tell me about the Godcaster.

Is that like a really good wheel I put on a chair? I would hope that you could tell me about the Godcaster. That's a really good wheel I put on a chair? I would hope that you could tell me about the Godcaster. It's a really good podcast. Now you're a Godcaster. Godcaster among podcasters. I'm tired of being a Claudecaster. Maybe then we would have won the Earwolf Challenge. Exactly.

Tell me about it. So tell me about the Godcaster. You have to be level 3,500. Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. This is grindy. Isn't this the amount of money you're spending?

I have no idea. If you can tell me, that would help. I assume that's the same thing as a level in this. Level in dollars. 10x the power of the imagined. Yeah, sure, of course. With precise signal generator and 18-quart reality engine, a reactor that infuses multiple acres of space.

Fuck that shit. Fuck your stupid Godcaster. I hate it. It's lame. It's the worst. I'm not interested. Before moving on, I'm sorry. What is an acre? It takes you to a page that has the text, Get a girlfriend with Black Ops messaging.

Jesus. Yeah, I'm not interested in the Godcaster. I hate it. He doesn't want a girlfriend with Black Ops messaging. Yeah, I don't want it. No. No. No.

No. It's not use Black Ops messaging to get a girlfriend. It's get a girlfriend who has Black Ops messaging. Right. Well, she has to have the app installed for her to get her Black Ops messages. But, well, fuck Godcaster hates you too. What about the Godcaster Ultra? Maybe.

Tell me more. Well, are you level 5,000? I could be. It runs rings around the original Godcaster. Ooh. It comes with 5 million bovis. Bovis? Yeah, bovis. Bovis? Bovis, natural ruby, and 35 cores.

He misspelled bogus. Five million bovis? And only 35 cores? No. Nope. I'm not in. Nope. Nope.

Not going to do it. Absolutely not. Ah! Ah! Is it a computer? No. I'm reading on the Bovis scale. It's a Vimeo clip. The Bovis scale, named after French radiestheist André Bovis,

who has been dead for 70 years, is a concept used by dowsers and adherents of geomancy to quantify the strength of a postulated cosmo-telluric energy inherent in location. Are we actually inside of Magic the Gathering right now? According to my Google search,

they're dried gallstones of cattle. But, okay. So, those first two Godcasters Were crap, and I hate them And why did I even tell you about them? Because, obviously

If you're a serious customer You are level 16,000 or over And, fucking get on my website If you're not Because Godcaster Odin is here And he runs rings around The original Godcaster But not Ultra.

Who the fuck knows? Comes with 5 million Bovis National 1400 carat Ruby and 85 cores transfer disks. They're all precious gems. More than 10 carats each. So it is a computer. That's what I want, then. That's what I was looking for.

It takes me to the same link as the others, so I don't know. Sure does. Yeah. You know what I hate? I hate clicking Yeah, it takes me to the same link as the others, so I don't know. Sure does. But, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I hate? I hate clicking on videos to make them play. I really want them to play the moment the page opens.

Do I have a product for that? It's like walking through a trade show and this guy's leaning over a table to try and bring you to his booth okay so uh uh this document uh put together again by montreth uh 31 pages uh they're all very lovely um so um there's a bunch of um uh there's a bunch of spells because i think these were products uh that kumquats up was describing um so there's a bunch of spells, because I think these were products that Kumquatsop was describing. So there's a bunch of spells like Levitation, the Trust Spell, Anti-Aging, ESP Level 2, Fortress, God's Hammer, of course, you know, the typical spells. And those are fun and helpful, but we need to find out how the real magic spells work. So if we can figure out how to navigate through

this page, which I think will probably not be a problem. I think it'll be really easy to navigate this page. What? What? What? Yeah. It's really easy.

Wishcrafting how to energize your spells? What? Yeah. No, it's really easy. Wishcrafting how to energize your spells? What? I'm trying to navigate through this page. What? No, we broke up quite. Oh, no. We're going, oh. I'm looking at the wrong thing.

Okay. We're going, oh. I'm looking at the wrong thing. Okay, so this is how the real magic spells work. Okay? Oh, the real ones. Okay. Yeah, this is how the real magic spells work. Is there a K involved?

No, no, this is magic spells, not magic spells. Okay. You fool. Um, uh, so, uh, yeah, it's all, it's all pretty basic, uh, pretty simple. Uh, conducted by masters of manifestation and blending traditional chaos McGick. What the hell? Oop, there we go. Ha ha ha ha!

Ding ding ding ding ding ding! With modern radionics, the operation involves the creation of tangible energy fields around the client for specific purposes. The action commences in 24 to 48 hours and will run for six months. The spiritual energy fields include the following, and those are the ones that I talked about here. You know, the God's Hammer. And there's some sigils involved. hammer, and there's some sigils involved. There's a whole bunch of

there's a whole bunch of sort of fine print there, and then I say, when you order the spell, please send in your photo on a red background and the following phrases on an MP3. A moment miss. Notice. Nice smile. You should say this

as seductively as you can. Nice smile! Oh, that's nice nice I like that a lot The story It's a guess Psychic Best part of the day Are you ready to make sensual McGick

I don't know if that's a bullet point Or something else I need to say I think this pitch is coming on to you It sure is. Okay, so in real magic spells, here's what to expect. Specify the energy field desired. Send in a picture or symbol

of yourself to our email, support at extrememind.com, and wait 48 to 92 hours. This is important. We need your picture to establish the link. Without your personal photo, the power sent out is dissipated wastefully.

For attractive spells, we need half your body picture with a plain light blue background. So light. Pose as majestically or seductively as you can. And we will all make fun of you and post the pictures on our Facebook feed. For all other spells, especially defense and wealth, we require at least half body picture with a white background.

Pose as confidently or as powerfully as you can. For dark spells, a half body picture with a gray background will be superb. Pose with your arms crossed against your chest in three quarters. Mm-hmm. If you have a special object or accessory that you want to anchor the energy we sent, carry it in your left hand in the picture. Not your right hand, obviously. We're going to send all sorts of fucked up shit to that one.

For the revitalized lost love spell, we need a picture of you and also the other person. We will respond with an image of a talisman you should print and carry on your person within six months, which is the duration of the operation. The talisman is a link to the traditional ritual and accessory psionic machines used to power up the fields. Oh, so it's like a QR code then. Yeah, basically. Scan it into your phone. Perfect.

And then when it says download link, you say yes, please. Perfect. And you'll be in love. The special rituals take a few minutes to complete, but it will be fueled by radionic machines indefinitely. Understand that the bulk of the energy flow will occur over half a year, but even the operation ceases in six months, your energy signature will be permanently elevated. Right? You're following me, right?

I'm already holding up a red background. I didn't understand this. Okay, okay. So you're looking for the seductive ones? Was it the red ones for seduction? Hey, hey, hey, hey! Yes, what is it? Hey, what must I do during the operation? What must you do during the operation? Hey, hey, hey, hey! Yes, what is it? Hey, what must I do during the operation? What must you do during the operation?

Well, thank you for asking. Please stand by while our operators... Just scroll down a second. ...do during the operation. Boots, what must he do during the operation? During the operation, you must meet more people. Okay. Becoming outgoing allows you to flex your newfound energies

and draw those who can elevate you socially, economically, and romantically. Expect delightful synchronicities with each stranger you encounter. Remember, you ney others near you to witness the energy in action. You'll observe little by locking yourself in the room. It's time to bring out your inner Harry Potter. Ah! Kumquatsop wasn't even going to do a search for Harry Potter this time around. He's like, no, there's no way that there's got to be Harry Potter on this page.

So these products all work really well. There's a whole lot of satisfied customers. And, of course, what do satisfied customers do? They provide testimonials. There's a whole bunch of testimonials here on the Extreme Mind blog. Boots, what did you find? Yeah, I'm H. Steinfeld. I'm not going to say I am or am not Haley Steinfeld, the pop singer and star of True Grit.

But I'll just leave that up for you to decide. Good call. Great call. I don't need the service well done i don't need the service since i own a rad five but sheer curiosity made me sign up for kicks i don't know what machine or demon or spirit they're tapping but some hours after they began i feel like a light presence has been shadowing me or peering over my shoulders. Both of them. Feels comforting in a way, but quite discomforting as well. Perhaps they summon up some angel or servitor for the purposes?

I'll post later on what comes of this. Great, that sounds... Okay, thanks, Hayley. You're welcome! I'm Iceman. I'm not necessarily Hayley. Okay, but maybe. I could be.

Okay. I'm Iceman. Hey, y'all. I got my sigil yesterday, and I'm carrying the printed copy with me since morning. Can't say much about the energy, as I'm not so sensitive, and I've been unwell for the past two, three days due to a minor cold and cough. And then I'm going to skip a bunch, and I come back to my... Apparently, like, I wrote some things, and I wrote a smiley, and then I did an ellipsis, and then I came back to my review.

And then I said, hey, guys. Hey, guys. I have opted for the ultimate charm, as I posted earlier. My third eye area was heavy. That subsided eventually. I reached the office late today and my HR informed me that we have a new recruit who is apparently a cute girl.

Bleh! And in the evening I was out for coffee with a female friend, ellipsis and two periods, and another girl from the table behind us, comma, kept glancing towards me. I have not sensed anyone towards me. I have not

sensed anyone around me. I guess I am hopefully energy insensitive. Mmm. Though I do get sensations and vibrations when I meditate, and my third eye tingles when I have amethysts kept on my forehead while listening to Tom

Kenyon's White Gold Alchemy. I will try to douth, though I am a newbie in that as well. I am having fun! Yay! Hi, my name is Richard McBeef. Dick McBeef. Good. I ordered, got my sigil, and have been experiencing some effects, or perhaps side effects.

Uh-oh. Tingly feelings. Mostly my right arm. Yep. Scalp itching. Energy waves or transmissions. There's definitely something going on. Okay.

I have yet to work with my assigned servitor yet. However, I think I shall name him Tad or Algernon or some such. Algernon or some such. Sure, I guess those are all names, I guess. Yeah, I'm going to douse out a contact pattern sooner or later as well. It's only been about three days.

Am I experiencing the quote, effects I paid for? I mean, yes, actually. This is exactly what you paid for. I'm, yes, actually, this is exactly what you paid for. I'm experiencing a sneaking suspicion that you've been ripped off. Hmm, difficult to gauge.

Since I am eventually probably going to get all four effects, I am going to space them out just to get used to them one at a time. But I'm still going to overlap them. Yeah, so far it's just palpable energy transmission. I'm using a wishing machine

style radionics setup with the sigil they sent. Wait, you can't even do your own wishing? You need to build a machine to wish for you? Yeah, they're selling one, so why the hell not? I guess. What am I going to do? Not buy crap? Yeah, good. What do you do with your money? Jesus.

Anyway. But the output of the setup itself isn't that much. It's mostly just to further reinforce the linkage between myself and the sigil that I laminated and am carrying. That's good that you laminated it. Thanks for the links to the threads about Winged Wolf and through that thread Creepy Hollow Guys, I'm going to check those out very soon. Ooh, Creepy Hollow! Yeah. I remember that site. Uh, uh,

uh, uh, my name's Gizmo168. Hey, Gizmo. Are you a DuckTales character? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Cool. He's like, you caught me.

Damn it. I want to buy the spells, but I'm wandering, if I should. These days, my sensing is very strongly well. I'm at my PC in the bedroom. Even right now, I hear a lot of vibrational sounds like static, and my skin gets tingled anywhere on my body and head, and sometimes a light touch. I sense coldness

at one side. Ace, well, this energy I sense is very strong, and sometimes it's like something is hovering above me. There are times I tell it to stop tingling me. I don't mean it tickles me. No, it gives me tingles, and I feel itchy after each tingle. Oh, dear.

All these people need to shower. They just tingle all the dirt off. I think by now I am aware that it is the entity that wants to be known. When I'm in bed, it's quite unbearable, more tingly. Had to go to mum's room to sleep at one point. Even after shower. Very annoying.

I have two sorcerer gin dolls in its dwelling box, untouched for several months. I am unsure if it's them, and I can't be bothered to trust my dosing. I have recently cleared my home energetically and spiritually, working with higher intelligence. What sort of higher intelligence? Anything I would be familiar with?

I have a hamster. I went to high ideas. Oh, that's a good site. Okay, bingo. I have also looked at the possibility of a servitor-like energy I unconsciously created

from when I released sexual energy! And I don't mean magical work! You mean cum, right? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! and I don't mean magical work! You mean come, right? Yeah! Okay. Yeah!

Sure. Yeah! Yeah, I now don't think it's sexual energy lingering because I cleared my home using Raymond's technique and burnt white sage and asked the archangels and oh yeah! Holy spirit! Oh yeah, holy spirit! I don't know

what I should do, and my consiousness has been clean! Come home from work every day, go online for more work and that's it. Boring and no poof, but I like it for now. This can't be any negative.

Any help would be V'appreciated. V'appreciated? V'appreciated. V'appreciated. V'appreciated. Winning Mind here. Hey. Hi, Winning Mind.

My overall negative thoughts, inner talks, emotions has definitely decreased. My fears with women also decreased, too. But it hasn't dissolved my approach anxiety completely. If it can make my AA disappear, I will be very grateful. Smiling emoticon. You're into aircraft.

Okay. I will wait a week or two. If not much new results, I have to ask Joey to increase power. Negative shits also don't easily hit me too. Smiling emoticon. I also use this signal as my PC desktop. I spent hours on computer every day. You don't say. I hope the spells will help me get me laid. this signal as my PC desktop I spent hours on computer every day.

I hope the spells will help me get me laid. More money, etc. Smiley face. I hope so too. Thanks! Smiley face. I'm Richard McBeef again. Oh good. Oh yes, I can feel the root

and sex chakras being boosted. Especially if I practice my kegels or the ever popular anal sphincter lock. Ew, what? That's an illegal wrestling move.

Yeah. Joe Rogan standing up. Oh, he's got him in the sphincter lock. The anal sphincter. But the most noticeable effect is when I'm talking to some cutie and her eyes go all dilated.

She gets a silly grin on her face. Oh, because you drug women. And starts paying way more attention to what I'm saying that it merits. Of course, I've had the opposite effect a few times since, as well as where a hot girl has totally blown me off,

frozen me out, and seems agitated that I'm around. That's interesting. Not so many, but it sticks out in the mind due to the contrast. Whatever. I just take that to mean I would have hated her anyway.

Hey, so my name's Cobain, and I have this truth-telling award that I won because I tell the truth all the time. So, yeah, just, okay, take a look at my trophy. Okay, here we go. I don't know if this counts, but twice some schmucks tried to hold me up. Once near the MRT station and then another time in a bazaar near closing time.

First instance, the jerk slipped on a patch of oil slick and broke his wrist i was driving the car in front of him and then i went into a river and it turned into a boat his uh peter gunn's theme was playing yeah no i got i got robbed by the three stooges this is obviously magic at work yeah so and then the second time the dork didn't realize a vigilante group was nearby he ended up with he ended up with a broken body divine intervention of course magic they broke his whole body sorry sir you're gonna have to be off work for a week. You broke your body. Can I get a body transplant?

And then... Somebody take Herzog. Somebody take Herzog. Hmm. I'm Herzog. Looks like the repulsed negativity spell can be an offensive tool against jerks. The past months, these people at office kept undermining everything I did. I think one of them even attempted casting

dark spells against me. She's some wicker weirdo. She's some wicker weirdo. Not buying spells from BullshitSpells.shitty. Now, after the repulse, these people started rarely showing up for work due to illness, one due to death

in the family. And my boss even fired one when her shenanigans was discovered. So some wicker weirdo tried to put a spell on her, but I showed her, I put a spell on her. Yes. I breathe more easily these days. And that headache, I'm sorry, that hay-tay-ake from anxiety just disappeared, Green Face. I hope this lasts forever.

He-cake. The he-cake. I was going to say he-chache. He-chache. Kumquats up. Yes? Your name is Piri, and you have some ideas for new spells, right? Who?

What? P-I-R-I. That's your name? Yeah. And you have some ideas for new spells. P-I. I do have some ideas for new spells. Why, thank you. Piri, give me some ideas for new spells. I do have some ideas for new spells. Why, thank you. Peter, give me some ideas

for new spells. Well, I have an idea for an ideal body. For those who wish to have a body like Michael Angelos David. Yeah, I'm

Mike Angelos. I don't know why people keep running those two words together. Michael is obviously just one name. Michael Angelos roughs up shopkeepers. David, a separate person, or Brad Pitt. No further

elaboration on that. One something. Uh, uh, uh, no further elaboration on that. Guitar God spell. No. Yeah. One, one something for learning to play or mastering any musical instrument five times as fast. Well, then why is it called the Guitar God spell if it works for any musical instrument? It needs a catchy name. Yeah.

You know, like the brass guitar. You're still, you're still, you're going to shred the shit out of that French horn. Well, so far, your ideas are pretty good. They're not redundant at all. No, no. So, you have any skills? Yeah, do you? No, no, no, no.

Because you need a mastering a skill spell. Master any skill. Except playing instruments, because you need a separate spell for that. No, that's no, no, because you need a mastering a skill spell. Master any skill. Except playing instruments because you need a separate spell for that. No, that's not a skill. Oh, okay. Yeah. No. Okay.

Sure. Uh-huh. Find the perfect job spell. What does that do? Please explain what the find the perfect job spell does. I can't imagine. That's not a skill. For those needing luck finding

a job in these hard economic times. Oh, amen, brother. Living on love spell. For those who want to have superpowers like Tortue. Tortue?

I want to have superpowers exactly like Tortue. Let's go either. What are his superpowers? He's a little Latin American wrestling crime fighter. XM MP3 amplifier spell. Spell to amplify the effects of your XM MP3 by ten times. I'm making recordings of XM Sirius Satellite.

Right, and then you convert them to MP3s. No, no, it doesn't work with Sirius MP3s. And then it makes them louder. Yeah. Yeah. Develop pitch-perfect spell. Spell that helps develop perfect pitch.

A rare skill. But remember, this is not a skill. A rare skill that most of the legendary musicians have. Open parenthesis, extremely beneficial for musicians. Plead and Hiller, I just had a thought. I wonder if anyone has skills. beneficial for musicians pleading hill or i just had a thought ellipses i wonder if many i've noticed i think perry is probably an out-of-work schlub who wants to make it as a musician just based on the theme of the spells that they're suggesting other people make. I did not see mastering a schlub spell.

Hey, I'm also Richard McBeef! Good. I've dropped some weight. Yeah, okay, so I'm Richard McBeef. Rather than going for celebrities, lately I've been doing sigils two. Two, the wrong two.

Like, I will meet a girl who looks like Megan Fox who will ask me out and so forth. What? Right, that's what the spell I've been doing. I'll meet a girl who looks like Megan Forth who will ask me out and so forth. Okay, so no bites yet, but I've just sort of fired these off in the universe and let them go and see what will happen next. I move on from them quickly so they don't stick in my consciousness.

I mean, within the last two weeks, I was within 10 feet of Tyra Banks. And definitely, definitely within 100 yards of Michelle Pfeiffer. And I didn't get caught either time. Suck it, protective order. Fucking, the police suck. Not that either, not that either of these women are high on my list,

okay, but because of where I was at, I was within, and this is a word in quotes, striking distance. So you're going to apply the Q. Dare Buxton method on them? No, that would be healing distance. It's time to cure Tyra Banks of her insanity. Well, good luck with that. Now, I might as well have been 2,000 light years away

because there was no chance for a social introduction, as you said, MM. But I'll tell you what, I've dated a Playboy Centerfold, not a Playmoy. I don't know how that worked out. That's weird. Who doesn't live at the house? No, because the Playboy Centerfold, like the actual physical

magazine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a tight little strings tour well welcome home richard mcbeef well thanks a lot baby what what am i doing as a poster okay so i dated that centerfold Then I dated also a famous on the internet model type. Right. And then also an F-list, in quotes, actress. And that was all due to being in the right place at the right time,

having the right intro and such. I'm not a studied Pua. Yeah, no, I think this is pretty much what study pool looks like at least two of those girls i just walked up to and said hi and the social setting but their personalities were such that work too but i've also been totally shot down by nines and tens every bit as hot as megan fox too so ell, embarrassed face. Let me tell you about last night, okay? Last night, I had two super cute Brazilian

girls asking me to cut out of work early to come party with them. Uh-huh. Right. Ask my friend Cobain. He was there. Oh, no. Cobain. That motherfucker took my truth-telling award.

Ha ha ha. Oh, no, Cobain. That motherfucker took my truth-telling award. Tragically, work is kind of important right now. So, lust spell. Ellipsis. Yay! Three exclamation points. It's nice when they stand close, paying attention to every word. Faces lit up with anticipation.

Like, winking. I don't know. Like, epileptic smiley. Oh, that's a laughing smiley. Okay. Can we just get Frank West to dub over the sounds of what these smileys should sound like? Yeah, we should get a Frank West emoji soundboard. That would actually be really helpful. Yeah.

I was gonna say, like, I was going to say like although Adam gets to do smiley freaking the fuck out anyway you know old Carl is exactly right it's pointless to try to use magic slash psionics to get a super alpha hottie uber babe to be your lover if you don't forge the past that will bring her to you

at least manufacture some excuse to get her to talk to you get Get her to know you like being a script writer. Yeah? Like what? Excuse me, baby. I'm a script writer. And here's a Kleenex, because I'm sure your pussy's way too wet right now

um okay or producer a friend of a friend at the same parties and then some pickup skills to back up and provide framework for your magic to work through I'm not trying to meet Scarlett Johansson even though I said I was several times but I gladly ask out a

co-ed who looked just like her winky face the end I'm the best But I gladly ask out a co-ed who'd look just like her winky face. The end. I'm the best. I'm good at being a human being. So, F+, what did we learn from any of this? The anal sphincter lock? Yeah, we can do all experts at the anal sphincter lock. I've perfected the anal sphincter lock? Yeah, we can do all experts at the anal sphincter lock. I've perfected the anal sphincter DDT.

Oh, okay. Just, you kick him in the nuts, and then you lock your sphincter up. I'm more of a fan of the stone-cold anal sphincter stunner. You know, for all these all these like hokum very nebulous promises, you know, the good things will happen if you give us money thing.

You'd think they'd be trying to cast their net wide and get as many people as possible to buy into their shit, but the barrier to entry for understanding what the hell they're talking about is so high that, you know, unless you're already completely off your rocker and just assume you understand everything, nobody's going to... No, but I think that's actually an important thing.

Because when you see the emails from the Nigerian prince where the word Google is misspelled and it's just the worst email possible. You know, that's actually intentional because they're trying to find the lowest common denominator of the person who will just blindly believe them. I think it's the same way here, where if you make it through 1,400 pages of describing the ways in which you should massage your chakras on your chest, if you make it through all those pages and are like, yes, I must still give money, this is all, you have made it through those pages, and therefore, if you are ready to still give money, they have found their... Yeah, no, then you're clearly a sucker. Scott, I have no idea what any of this means, but maybe if I give them money, they'll give me a thing that will make sense. Yeah, yeah.

I understand, on a superficial level, I understand that good things will happen if I give these people money. Now, I'm an idiot, so I've gone through life this far by just assuming what I'm reading is good and take it at face value. I don't understand this crap, but I don't have to. I understand money, women, cars. So the way I see it, you know, one of these has got to work eventually, right? Sure, yeah. I keep giving money to different scammers. Well, you know,

how are you going to know unless you spend a lot of money? I think that this is actually a good example, too, of I feel like a lot of these sort of like Crystal Robbie McGick kind of sites have been sites that

where the proponent, the proprietor of the website believes the thing that they're selling. I think this is the first case where, like, the people that are putting this thing together have no, they do not believe this shit in any way. Like, they know they're selling crap. Like, they're just, like, click baiting as much as they possibly can. Yeah, yeah. They're just clickbaiting as much as they possibly can. This smacks of, what can we throw out there that people are going to hook onto?

Like the CIA tactics. Right. Oh, the CIA. I don't trust them. I want to know their secrets. But I love reading through the various 18 different domains that this person has. If you go through with a point of view of pretend you're a person who is genuinely interested in McGick and you're like, oh yes, I want McGick, I want all these things, I want all these things

and by the third page you have reached picture of Skyrim with unlock her legs underneath it. The website is always THEFPL.us. There's a forum, I think. Is that right?

Yeah. Okay. Bye. Bye. Like, I went really quiet during about half of that episode because I got lost in this website. And, like, I actually had to drink whiskey because my mouth was hanging open for so long.