The F Plus - 212: History of the Dozerfleet Part 2

Episode Date: May 23, 2016

In late 2013, we focused on a particular man who calls himself The Dozerfleet Founder; a person who has written over a thousand pages of wiki devoted to himself, and the projects he would like you to give him credit for. We felt our work was pretty exhaustive on the subject, but we're aware there's plenty we missed. In this episode, we spend some time looking at the song parodies The Dozerfleet Founder has written, some television projects we weren't aware of, and finally end up on TV Tropes because of course. This week, The F Plus karaoke sequence is malfunctioning.

I just can't- I can't stop, Lemon. Yep, I understand. I'm gonna dash off to the bathroom real quick. Alrighty. Don't piss yourself! Pissed yourself! Oh, don't piss yourself! Pissed yourself!

Oh, stop pissing yourself! Keep pissing yourself! Stop it! Start it! This site has officially made us insane. That's cool. Hello, I stand alone here upon this globe. I'm in prison still

and on this frigid moat. I'm gonna walk one day soon above this earth. I'll be dripping gold, man, for what it's worth. And on this cloud I come, baby with the moon bright the sun my shade. This is the F Plus

podcast, a true and important place for terrible things rev enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Victor Laszlo Salt the Raging Hamster grew 80 feet tall Frank West The entire Dozerfleet channel

went down in protest of Google considering playing more money to gay employees Portax Now the lead animator on the Trapezoid Kids Hoserfleet Channel went down in protest of Google considering playing more money to gay employees. Portex. Now the lead animator on the Trapezoid Kids, premiering sometime. Jack Chick. Whoa! Periodic Table Town. And Lemon.

Sticking a penis in anyone's mouth, man or woman, has never been conducive to the benefit of anyone. Disagree. Prove me wrong, internet. Also, why am I so stressed out all the time? Finally, something I agree with him on. Why would you do that to me? Stop it! Who's really benefiting here? Follow the money. Hey, F-Bless.

Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Do you remember a character from our not-so-distant past by the name of Dozerfleet? No. Huh? No. It doesn't ring a bell. Yeah, no.

That's weird that it wouldn't ring a bell for you, Frank West, because you were actually in that episode. Lemon, I don't even remember the last episode. Fair enough. Do you think I listened to this part? If people go to Ball Pit, I have made some Dozer Fleet food in the past, but no, I don't know what that is. We'll get to that. So back in December of 2013, we did an episode of uh a man called dozer fleet um who has um what do you want to say like hypothetical projects um that he writes about extensively um and that was

probably the longest recording we've ever had in this podcast um so long we're still doing it actually yeah yeah yeah into an alternate universe where are we doing that so not that long ago well actually a little while ago but Nakey or Draken gave us a document called Dozer Fleet Returns

the saga of Dozer Fleet records and more and more? and more I mean how much more could there possibly be The saga of Dozerfleet Records and more! And more? And more. And more. Good. I mean, how much more could there possibly be? No, yeah. So we have, at this point, an excuse to go back to Dozerfleet, and goddammit, it's an

excuse that we're going to take. That's a good title for the episode, too. So let's start off with the musical project, which is known as Every Ape and His Brother. Every Ape and His Brother is the working band alias for the Dozerfleet founder and is a group that specializes more in writing song lyrics than in actual song performances. Performers for songs are chosen by volunteer basis. The name is based on the phrase next you know every ape and his brother

will be coming out of these trees to be part of it all. That phrase. Yes, that well-known phrase. That's a well-known... Yeah, yeah. So every ape and his brother it is a band from Big Rapids, Michigan. The genres are parody, comedy, soundtrack, etc. And the members are Dozerfleet. So, Jack Jack, if you'll take us through the history of Every Ape and His Brother, please.

Certainly. Thank you. Every Ape and His Brother, please. Certainly. Thank you. So Every Ape and His Brother began as just a random collection of song parodies that were made by the Dozer Fleet founder as he saw appropriate in accordance with tunes that fit well with one or more set of lyrics. Wow! Wow, I am on the hook.

Good sentence, buddy. Uh-huh. Yeah, no. What possibly could bait the hook more? Step two. Step one, write a sentence. Step two, write another sentence. Step three, put the words in the one sentence in the middle of the second sentence. It's a sentence fractal.

Many of the parodies were done to poke at the sound of the artist's voices. Okay. So, I mean, I read that. What does it mean? Anyways. Yep. Exaggerating their more violent tendencies

by having them sing lyrics with more literal graphic violence in the song content than usual, as well as poking at the fact that the artists themselves probably would not have made their songs about the 30 songs top hits. Did Mojo Jojo write this?

I can't parse this at all. Is that where the actual name of the band comes from? And it's the vocals of the songs! And the songs have the vocals! In disrespect, it's all parody. In disrespect, the parodies were done in the spirit of Weird Al.

Yeah, sure. Albeit a more violent version of that artist. Weird Al talks about Santa slaughtering all the elves and stuff. I don't know. He talks about decapitation a lot. Yeah, there's actually a lot of violence in Weird Al lyrics. Right, well, this is more than that. More than that, okay.

There's also a footnote reference that I will not be going and looking at. Great. The PC Mace website, long since missing, let's use the phrase every ape and his brother. The official name for the band began in January of 2007.

It was a collaboration mostly of songs that had been submitted to amiright.com. Oh, yeah. As opposed to notalwaysight.com. Oh, yeah, yeah. As opposed to notalwaysright.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On Wet Me Day, July 25th of 2007, every ape released its own MySpace page. What about the brothers? Yay!

This page was soon followed by GarageBand and I Like pages being made. Sure. This page was soon followed by GarageBand and I Like pages being made. The first songs to be submitted to GarageBand and I Like were The Hundred Acre Woodland Massacre, They'll Claw You Open, and a test demo of a theme song for Stationary Voyagers. What? Stationary Voyagers was mentioned in the last episode. It is literally a science fiction television show About pens Oh right of course yes

And those of you who didn't listen to the last episode Pause right now Go listen to the last episode Actually you know Frank West makes a very good point It is episode 121 If you're listening to that without doing the first Dozerfleet episode You're not quite doing it right Please go to 121 first You're going to be lost if you listen listening to that without doing the first Dozerfleet episode, you're not quite doing it right.

Please go to 121 first. You're going to be lost if you listen to this one. If you listen to that one first, you're also going to be lost. It's the comic book asterisk. Last time on Dozerfleet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Since then, every ape has been making parody song lyrics

grouped into albums. Each time a new song comes out, it is usually submitted to amiright.com under the username of Bulldozer Begins. Bulldozer Begins. Hey, Victor. Bulldozer Forever. Yes? Will you take us through the Every Ape and His Brother discography, please? Can I just give you guys some really bad news first?

Oh, what's that? The MySpace page was canceled on Sunday, March 20th of 2009 at 3.40pm Eastern Time. How do you cancel a MySpace page? What about the seconds, idiot? Where were you when the MySpace page was cancelled? I have no idea when the fuck it happened. Alright.

Every ape and his brother's discography. I'll start with the singles. Okay. There's the 100 Acre Woodland Massacre in 2007. We heard about that one, yep. They'll Claw You Open. Salem, Story of a Trial. Slaughterized.

Oh, I have that album. And then there's Albums of Lyrics. Yep. Most albums tend to be. Starting with Morbid, the Horrendous Hobo. Released in 2007. That's a terrible name for a hobo.

Nice MS-DOS created an album cover as well. The title for the first parody song collection came to be known as Morbid, the Horrendous Hobo. This was partially because that was the name of a random drawing made in 1997. Oh, thanks. I really needed the backstory. Why is that a bullet point?

An album that doesn't exist. Well, wait for this bullet point. Another reason for the title is the amount of violence in some of the parodies. Oh, God. This album is the only one so far to parody the same artist more than once. Oh, that'll come in really handy when I go on imaginary jeopardy.

There is an imaginary line waiting to get into an award show in Hollywood in the Every Ape side story. Morbid himself is the first of many creatures to be in line behind the red carpet. story. Morbid himself is the first of many creatures to be in line behind the red carpet. This is consistent with the phone conversation two men had earlier that day that every ape and his brother would be at that show.

The meaning of that usage of the term was that one could expect nearly everyone and everything to be in attendance or involved. Jack Chick, I noticed that you were looking at the Dozer Fleet wiki page for Morbid, the Horrendous Hobo! Yeah, I was. You were, and I remember

that that album has a parody of This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race by Fall Out Boy. What is that song called? This Feels Obscene, It's an Earthquake. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Earthquakes do feel obscene. Now, of course, you'll notice also that he comments that this album was actually unique

because it contained two parodies of the same band, which was a first for them. That is exciting, yeah. You know what band that was, of course. What band would that be? That would be Creed. Because the demand for Creed parodies is obviously just really fun. And there's just not enough of them. But isn't Creed saturating that market by themselves?

If you'll briefly take me through the other two albums that he did not release. Oh, yeah. There's also Elefante Eante interesante importante. You know what? I'm fucking sick of RuPaul's Drag Race. It was fun at first. This show is bullshit now.

This was the elegant, interesting, important elephant was a running gag in the Dozer Fleet founder's high school Spanish classes. While Morbid floated around and parodied songs from 2000 to 2006, Elefante parodies a more diverse group of songs, including 90s songs. Ooh, 90s songs. More diverse group of songs. Terrific. So we're talking about Kelly Clarkson, Ricky Martin, NSYNC, Ozone. By the way, Dozerfleet doesn't like gays. That's a weird combination of songs there, Dozerfleet.

He's gonna parody the gay out of him, it's fine. There is an imaginary line waiting to get into an award show. Yep, yep. So there's an imaginary line waiting to get into an award show in Hollywood in the Every Ape

Side Story. The elephant himself is the second of many creatures to be in line behind the red carpet. What if this band has their own fucking mythology, like they're GWAR? It's not just a concept album. It's a concept set of albums. I would love to see Tozerfleet GWAR, actually.

Dressed up as huge bloody pens and pencils. dressed up as huge bloody pens and pencils. Also, unlike Morbid, the elephant is somehow popular. Oh, just the elephants in general? Just like the concept of elephants? No, the elephant. Just the one. The elephant is somewhat popular.

Is somehow popular. Can't argue with that, because I don't know what you're saying. How can you have so many facts and still tell us nothing? Like, what? And what's your third album there, Dozerfleet?

Oh, The Chicken of the Opera. Work on this album began in 2008 and completed in 2012. I don't. Should John Toast be here? No, he'd get probably upset about this.

But you had a perfectly good pun and you fucked it up. The chicken's focus is more on folk and classical tunes than modern songs. It should have been the bantam of the opera. Folk and classical tunes like Poker Face by Lady Gaga. And Grenade by Bruno Mars.

You know, folk and classic songs. Yeah. Oh, good. And then the parody of Firework was called War Crimes. Why? People don't use fireworks in war. War Crimes. Okay.

So you may not know this, but there is an imaginary line waiting to get into an award show in Hollywood. It's in every ape-sized story. The chicken himself is the third of many creatures to be in line behind the red carpet. Oh, is there a wiki page for all the list of the creatures? Because I would... Like Morbid, the chicken is feared and hated. Yet unlike Morbid, the chicken is feared and hated. Yet unlike Morbid, the chicken is somehow impossible to catch

and harm. As he stands in line waiting to get into an awards show. Alright, so we're going to go through some of the songs that Dozerfleet has written.

Look at a little bit of those, and we'll decide what we think of his songwriting career. Sound good? Again, just like the F Plus Things episode, Dozerfleet is a lyricist, but not a musician. Well, no, a few of these have been recorded, apparently. Oh, dear.

So we know what episode music we have. I'm so sorry about what music I've already played in this episode. All right. Anyway, I'm going to start off with a song on the first album. I'm talking, of course, about Morbid. Morbid, the horrendous hobo! And that is a parody of a terrific, terrific, wonderful song. I'm talking, of course, about Papa Roach's Last Resort.

Oh, I love that song. Yeah, it's really good. So instead of talking about suicide, the is about killing chickens. It is a very rare thing that anyone, let alone Papa Roach, would discuss the killing and eating of birds. So the humor, I haven't even explained the song yet, but let me explain why it's funny. The humor comes from the absurdity of the notion that someone would be so into the act

of butchering birds that they devote an entire song to that instead of applying something more traditional like Last Resort to a screamo anthem. Oh, well, now that you've explained it. something more traditional like Last Resort to a screamo anthem. Eh? No. Well, now that you've explained it. I have not explained it. I have another paragraph. The man in the song, as the song discusses in depth,

is convinced that the only way to prepare enough food for his upcoming feast is to kill every chicken in his pen. He will consider no other option. The chickens must die. That is funny. Right. So now that I've explained the concept of the song, let me cut right

to the reception of the song. Am I Right has given the song, out of two votes, three out of five stars for pacing, four out of five for humor, and four out of five for an all-around rating. This means that one of the few on the site who have graded it, results have been mostly favorable. Yeah, that's what that means.

Good job, Nate Silver. You fucking did an amazing job there. Look, 5 out of 5 me's love the song, so it's fine. An editor for Am I Right Made particular compliment About the creativity of lines in the song Such as don't give a cluck Which makes jokes out of the language In the original Papa Roach song

But a song parody is Yeah So let me go here Hopefully I can find the karaoke version Karaoke engaged Thank you Cut those hands into pieces Hopefully I can find the karaoke version. Karaoke, engaged. There we go. Thank you. All right. Cut those hens into pieces.

This is my only resort. Decapitation. Lots of bleeding. Don't give a cluck what I do to their breathing. This is my only resort. Oh, it's actually sung by a chicken as well. That's interesting. Is that what this joke is?

Just cut those chickens into pieces. Pull a meat cleaver out. Decapitation. Lots of breathing. Don't give a cluck what I do to their breathing. Did I mention that? Do I mind the trail of blood clots they are leaving? I don't remember most of this song.

Do you think it's wrong or maybe right? Gonna prep them all for a feast at my place late tonight. The meat cleaver is in my sight. And I think it's time for chicken side. First chorus. They'll be losing their feathers, losing their minds. Hope their meat's gonna taste mighty fine. Losing their feet, losing their minds Hope their meat's gonna taste mighty fine Losing their feet

Losing their minds Hope their meat's gonna taste mighty fine Seasoned just right Flavored with wine Oven set Now it's time There are more verses These KFC commercials are getting weird

I think we're good. I don't think that we need to... With a blood clot, scare away your young brother! Struggling! Thanks. Yeah, thanks. Good. So it's also worth noting, by the way, that the lyrics on the Dozer Fleet wiki and the

lyrics on amiright.com are different. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. That's part of the humor. You know, he's updating it for modern times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, let's see. Who's the biggest Nelly Furtado fan in this room? The biggest Nelly Furtado fan.

Jack, Jack. No, I'm sorry, Portex. You are actually the biggest Nelly Furtado fan in this room. Oh, I forgot. That's what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a Nelly Furtado fan in this room. Oh, I forgot. That's what I meant. Yeah, there's a Nelly Furtado fan detector. So this is a song that Dozer Fleet has written called Ridiculous.

It is a parody of the Nelly Furtado song Promiscuous. I think you'll probably have to explain the background of the song before actually getting into this. Oh, of course, because I know what both of these are. This song was written simply to bash the original song for being popular in spite of its raunchy subject matter. Instead of being about a couple in a nightclub hooking up for casual

sex, the parody imagines two clowns in a cafeteria that don't entirely realize themselves to be clowns. You realize that's still considered porn on the internet, right, you goofball? They realize one another to be clowns, and either way, they instantly hate each other.

Finally, a song for my clown realization fetish. Dozer fleet invented ICP. That's interesting. It explains a few things. Dozer fleet invented ICP. That's interesting. It explains a few things. Dozer fleet. The cafeteria wherein the song is imagined to take place in... Okay. The cafeteria wherein which this song is imagined to take place is the Rock Cafe of Ferris State University.

This song is not to be confused with Odd Austin's parody, Ridiculous Girl About an Obese Woman. Citation note. Because there's only one song that has the word ridiculous in it. It's not to be confused. That's why. It's not to be confused. I mean, they were both getting a lot of play on the radio around the same time.

Yeah, miright.com radio. The song was submitted to Amiright's website in late 2006 and was copied to Dozerfleet Wiki 1 on February 11th of 2007. That's fucking fascinating. So, Support Tax, right here in the background here, we're going to start the karaoke track for Nelly Furtado's Promiscuous. All right.

Wait, there's a guy and a girl part in this. Does this matter? Do I do guy voice and girl voice for this? I mean, I could take the girl voice. Yeah, maybe Frank West should take the girl voice. Okay, that's good. Yeah, that makes sense to me. And I'm also very familiar.

You're also very familiar with this song, so it'll be good. Here we go. Engaged. Here we go. Do I seem a doom cough? Yep. Why is that so? You're a silly lady!

Your plaid don't even match, you must be fashion lazy! You don't have a prayer, the laugh's so hard, you're worse than most nerds, your soul must be scarred! You're one to talk, what's with the silly tie? It turns women off to the sight of your eye. That may just be true, but

I don't have a wig, yours here arranged will make a nice oil rig. I see you've gone for early 90s white boy rap. It's the only rap we're capable of, Lemon. I'm assuming every time you stop speaking, you fold your arms. My arms are so folded, they're double folded. I have a whole posse of speedrunner dorks behind me. It's great.

And they're like, oh, shit. You expect me to just change my style? Soon, they'll find you in a circular file. All I can do is say, give me one chance. What's the problem? I'll help you to dance. Word up, bitches! I'll be the first to admit it. I'm cackling at you.

You seem so innoxious. Are you sure he seems that? You seem so innoxious. I think that's a word you just invented. Wanna pick on my clothes? Then come on, clown, win it. Let me see you eat crow for a minute. Oh, here we go, sipping straight to the chorus.

Ridiculous girl, whatever you are, I won't condone your dumb wardrobe at all. Yeah, boy! Ridiculous boy, you already know that you're a monkey-do. What you talking for? Oh, that's right, she went there. Ridiculous girl,

don't laugh at me. You know my cheese shoes aren't as bad as your teeth. What? Yeah. Ridiculous boy, just what is your point? Quit being a troll already. A plus. A plus. Oh, that is...

Wow, this is a long song. Oh, we do have a nice exchange of goofball, you're so sad, you're so green. All right, all right, all right. So, Vortex, just take it to the bridge, please. All right. Wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky. Goofball, you're so sad, you're so green. Goofball, you're so sad, you're so green. Hey, you're so sad, you're so green. Goofball, you're so sad, you're so green.

Hey, you're so sad, you're so green. It's good stuff. Man. It's good stuff. You know, I, uh... Karaoke, emergency, shutdown. Hey, hey, Lemon. Yeah, what's that?

So, uh, you may have noticed that there isn't a reception on there, so you're not sure what the votes look like on that one. Would you like to know? Oh, very much. Very, very much. Yes, please. Thank you. So this one is six total votes. Excellent. So it has, in terms of pacing, one vote for a five, four votes

for a one, and one two. So the overall pacing score is 1.8. So reviews somewhat mixed, but trending positive, it sounds like. Yeah. How funny is a 1.3? And so the overall rating is a 1.3 as well. You'll notice that that's higher than a 1.

So generally positive response, I think. Yeah, I would say so. So we're going to take a break from these songs for a bit to skip over to a publication published by Dozer Fleet Comics called The Bison. On the page for The Bison, there is a figurine modified in Photoshop to approximate what the bison may look like. So that's helpful. But yeah, Frank West, if you'll tell me the history of the bison, please. Sure. Do you want me to tell you what it is?

It's both a semi-potent buffalo in the Volkner universe and a shelved action horror comedy movie franchise pitch currently in consideration by Dozerfleet Productions. Not just a movie, a fucking franchise, alright. So it's a pitch to himself that he's considering it? This Dozerfleet kid's got potential. He's got... He brings the goods, boss!

I think you're just the kind of person Dozerfleet needs, Dozerfleet. The Bison story originated as a comical joke between two brothers, wellest shooting rubber bands at plastic army men. A plastic toy bison was often an additional object that was placed amongst the soldiers. That is comical, all right.

That's a comical joke. If you think that's funny, just wait If one did not take out the bison successfully Then all the army men would fill up again for that side And the other side not having rights to the bison Would have to start over Oh my god, so funny Yeah, it's like Toy Story 4

In 1998, a mythology for the world Of the bison first surfaced Particularly in an attempt to explain just how he developed the odd habit of flying through the air and swallowing men like spaghetti noodles. You know what? What?

That's great. That's great, Frank West. I like knowing a little bit about the bison, but I feel like I can't hear any more about the bison without knowing about his superpowers. Mm. His powers.

Well, he's got flight without lifting his hooves. So... Like, does Pete stay on the ground when he flies? Yeah. He lifts the entire planet with him. Yeah, his legs get super stretchy and his whole body is flying around.

What I'm getting at is he's a fucking toy figure, so his legs don't bend. Anything else? Well, he is force-shrinking. He can shrink objects to miniature size to aid in slurping them. You still know that's porn on the internet, right, friend of mine? Yeah, that's a dick, right? Well, he has super suction to aid in slurping his... Oh, never mind, it's not porn anymore.

Yeah, that doesn't matter. section to aid in serving his Oh, never mind, it's not porn anymore. Yeah, that doesn't sound right. He has plasma laser eyes, which can do everything Superman's eyes can do. He has... So he gets to look at Lois Lane naked? Yes.

Smashing through anything. Anything, alright. Tesseraction. Which, you know, classic superpower. Oh, Tesseraction. Which, you know, classic superpower. He gets to listen to Tesseract a lot. Oh, goddammit.

He has acid dung. He has... I mean, that's a good one. First he smashes through your wall, then he shits into your mouth with acid. He has telepathy. Oh, and he has the ability to pass through heaven and hell undetected. Satan, someone's breached the line.

Oh, it's just the bison. Now I kind of want to hear a story where that power comes in handy. Oh, he has GBS ratings. Did you hear something? He also has clairvoyance, according to the sidebar, which lists all of his abilities again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His endurance is maxed out. His agility is very low, though.

He can't even lift his legs. His blast range is six out of seven lines. Yeah. Frank West. Yes. About this bison. Could you tell me some other facts?

I love that he puts in the scare quotes for us. It's nice. While he's immortal and invincible, there is no way to go beyond him, short of being God. His fur contains enough special information and power in it alone to overload the most

sophisticated data processors and supercomputers on Earth. What does that mean? He's got a sim card? He's covered in jizz. That's what I'm going with. Not just him. Special information, man.

That's right. He does not need to breathe and can even travel through space in zero time, destroying entire stars if he so desires. I would totally watch this cartoon of a plastic bison that doesn't even animate flying through space, shitting

acid on things, and destroying stars. Everything else is animated, he's just a hyper-realistic bison. I think we have a job for Portex for the next F1 live. Totally. He is known

to make certain characters become of one mind with him, in which they become slaves to his will and share thoughts with him. Again, that's a porn. You know, I like that you've balanced out the powers of this bison character to just kind of, like,

make him relatable and interesting. Multifaceted. Whatever, I legit enjoy this. Wow, okay, I'm sorry. You might have thought we were moving on, but I've got one more bullet point. I thought we were moving on. I thought we were moving on, but what?

Each of these characters that he enslaves inherits a bizarre superpower for him from him, and they become the bison's secret police, along with the... I'm sorry. Along with a talking ferret named Ferretto. Yes!

Ferretto! Because Ferretty did not test well. Ferretto is apparently from Two Old Men and a Frog, a 1997 short-lived animation series pitch created by Dozerfleet. Oh, that makes sense. It does? Yeah, it's a spinoff series of deranged cowboys and Indians,

which reimagines Slushy living in a swamp rather than the desert 7-Eleven. It's got a couple reoccurring guests. I'm talking about Cone, who's the goofy doppelganger of Slushie. Then there's Vegetable, the frog whose smile curls in on itself. What the hell? Sphere, a morbidly obese

frog that makes the earth shake when he speaks. Jackal Slapnasty, a deranged zany talking chest. Eagerly awaiting someone registering that Jackal Slapnasty, a deranged Disney TV talking show. Eagerly awaiting someone registering that name for ballpets.

There is Faraday, of course. We've been through Faraday. And then in addition to Faraday, there's Farichio. Farichio. So really, what I'm hearing here is that I need to go get some more fucking alcohol.

Excuse me. This is Osamu Tezuka's star system, just for a new generation, when you think about it. Oh, okay. That was really great. Frank West, there's another thing that I've known about Bison. That he has... The Dozer Fleet Bison has the same... So there's a difference between the Bison and the Dozer Fleet Bison, which apparently are two different species. They had to reboot it.

Yeah, it's like the Adventures of Superman and Superman. Right. The gritty Bison reboot. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I was actually going to ask some questions about the Dozerfleet Bison but then I got distracted by deranged

cowboys and Indians Hang on a second I'm scanning this QR code It's gonna take you right back to the same page you're already on So good luck with that, asshole. Gives me the most fucked up me in my Miitomo game, though. So, Victor. Yes?

I'm looking here at Deranged Cowboys and Indians, which is styled as D backwards R range Cowboys and Indians, because it's Russian Cowboys and Indians, I guess. It's Toys R Us. That was a pitch created by the Dozer Fleet founder during the Flamingo era. Which is probably not worth exploring, right? No, it's not. It's not. But it's about a ghost town and the Outta Wack tribe that ran a 7-Eleven store not too far from there.

No. This is not good. No, you from there. This is not good. No, you're right. It's not good. So, if you'll just run through the plot briefly, please. Sure, sure. Deranged cowboys and Indians. Okay, so this show

is set to reign supreme in a ghost town in New Mexico. Reign supreme. A Frankenstein-like Sheriff Donask and his band of undead Halloween creatures stake their claim on the desert, assisting them as a deranged wolf named Freak Nasty. He puts his hand up on your hip. When you dip, he dips, they dip. After the similarly named rock band.

What? What? You're not... Okay, you might be thinking of... That's what I said. Okay, Freak Nasty did Da Dip, and it's not a band, it's a guy. Unless you're confused with Dag Nasty, which is a very vulgar punk rock band I doubt you've heard of. Oh.

Well, anyway. He has the voice of a parrot and is occasionally harassed by a mean-spirited talking parrot named Bird Nasty that has a very gruff voice. Oh, I see. So it's like a reversal type thing. Okay. Yeah. So to fulfill their evil plans, they must overcome their own laziness. So it's an episode of a regular show?

Yeah. In addition to the talkative but equally loony Outawak tribe of Indians that run a 7-Eleven store not far away. Wow. That's... Wow, that's racist. Yeah, kind of, yeah. No, it's fine.

It's fine, because it's American Indians. So tell me more. Tell me more, please. Yeah, so moving on with our not-racism, the Outawak tribe of Indians are led by the Homer Simpson-esque Chief Wacky Twerp. Oh, man. And the Outawaks seek to defend their claim any way they can over their undead disciples. That sounds just like Homer Simpson.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. The Outawaks are also opposed by one of their own, Wacky Twerp's evil twin, Hacky Twerp. Oh, I. Yep. The Outawaks are also opposed by one of their own, Wacky Twerp's evil twin, Hacky Twerp. Oh, I hate it! I hate it! What do you hate? This is good stuff. No, it's not good stuff!

This would actually probably have worked like 80 years ago. That's all the bad stuff. The good stuff is coming. Okay, what's the good stuff? Stay tuned. What's the good stuff, Victor? What's the good stuff? Coming to the Outawax Rescue is a trio of talking frogs, all of which were hatched from their eggs

from inside various cold beverage preparation devices. Such as Slushy, born in a slushy-making machine, who becomes the sassy frog who leads the frog trio. So Slushy is called Slushy because Slushy was born in a slushy-making machine.

I mean, they didn't have parents. What are the friends called? So, Slushy was born in a slushy-making machine. He is joined by the snow cone machine born Cone. And the high-pitched voiced vegetable. As the sides all line up, comic mischief ensues.

Guys, I need to tell you about Eki the Rat. Eki the Rat. Oh, baby. Eki the Rat. Not Eek the Cat. This is Eki the Rat. So it was a comic strip made by Dozerfleet about the life and

exploits of a luckless rat living in suburban houses' walls. It was intended to be some sort of parody of Eek the Cat. Oh, well, some sort of parody. Yeah, some sort of parody, but the strip... To be determined later. Yeah, the strip took on a flavor and purpose all its own. Jack Shave, you'll start with the second paragraph of the plot, please.

Absolutely. Thank you. Eekie, who only spoke in varying lengths of eeeeee. Yes! Where do I subscribe? Would often try to find some way to get himself some cheese or other food item to snack on. The dog named Harpy, after the creatures from Greek mythology. Thanks.

Yeah, there's a link there in case you don't know. No, no, no, no. Oh, Wikipedia, you say. Harpy after the creatures from Greek mythology. Thanks. Yeah, there's a link there in case you don't know. No, no, no, no. Oh, Wikipedia, you say. Well. We'd always find some way to thwart the rat's plans and evolve to extreme laughter from the dog and extreme pain, torture near death to the rat.

The sketches followed a Looney Tunes slash Tom and Jerry format. Because Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry format. Because Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry have the exact same pacing. Those cartoons are fucking identical. Actually, they're quite different. You see, the different directors have...

Oh, shut up. There's a link there in case you want to read up on them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know enough about cartoons. I'm still looking at these harpy tits on Wikipedia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I don't know enough about cartoon things. Wait. I'm still looking at these harpy tits on Wikipedia. Oh, there's harpy tits?

Hang the fuck on. Looney Tunes, these were harpy tits. I don't know the harpy tits. So then after each sketch, everything returned to the way it was. Had the sketch never happened?

Each sketch? But it's a comic strip, so therefore each drawing? Sure, why the fuck not? Okay. Yeah. Sometimes accompanied by a rat with boxing gloves who went on by the name of Gloves. Oh my god!

This guy's a genius at naming things. Mm-hmm. Was he born in gloves? Ikki would almost always die in some sadistic fashion at the end of every episode. So everything returned to the way it was as if it never happened, except Ikki is always dead.

Yeah, they pick up his corpse and just kind of throw it around. Actually, I would like that cartoon. That's why Gloves wears the gloves, right? Because he's handling a corpse. Yeah. With boxing gloves, that's extra fun. I think those are fleets stumbled

upon gold with the snake. When you started reading me that section on Iki, I was remembering that memorable sketch from Iki called, What Are You Trying to Do? Yeah, I know. You remember that sketch? Yeah, I do.

Portax, do you want to hear a summary of that? I do, I do. Victor doesn't. Too bad, Victor. The sketch, what are you trying to do, in which the rat is the Titanic and the dog is the iceberg? Again, that's porn.

That is porn. The rat is the Titanic? Yes, the rat is the Titanic. But he's still dead. The dog's the iceberg. Right, yeah, no, it makes perfect sense when you don't think about it. I think I saw that movie, it's called the Titanic. I want to see that drawing a lot.

Don't worry, on it, on it. No problem. Where my damn pencil at? What's created a total of three times before being abandoned? The sketch is memorable because as the ship cracks in two like an egg, a Ford Model T can clearly be seen on deck.

On deck? So a tiny, tiny, tiny Model T that fits on top of the rat? We don't know that the rat is not. I mean, the rat is the Titanic. Yeah. The rat is the Titanic. It's the size of the Titanic. And it looks like the Titanic. Yeah. The rat is the Titanic. I mean, it's the size of the Titanic. And it looks like the Titanic.

And it looks exactly and behaves exactly like the Titanic. You guys are jumping to conclusions here. You have to listen to the next sentence. Sorry about that. It's going to make a lot more sense. Yep. This is to emphasize that the sketch is poking fun at the Titanic film. Sure, sure.

You know, like when in the Titanic film, when the sure. You know, like, when in the Titanic film, when the ship is sinking into the ocean, you can clearly see a Model T on deck. Yeah. You're poking fun at the Titanic film by exactly recreating the things that happened at the Titanic film with no joke.

So, we were talking recently this document, once again, provided by Naked Dracon, and it is largely the songs of Dozerfleet, but we knew it would happen, which is that Dozerfleet Wiki is a fucking sinkhole. Anyway, I'm on the main page here, and, uh, uh, Frank West, I have a question for you. Yes. So, there's a couple trending characters in the Dozerfleet database. A couple characters that have been, uh, trending pretty heavily. Yeah. So there's a couple trending characters in the Dozerfleet database.

A couple characters that have been trending pretty heavily. Which of these characters is your favorite? I would say probably Lemon Witch. Lemon Witch. All right. Lemon Witch is a woman with a... She's a sim character with a brown bob and the end. Looks exactly like Lemon, basically. Yeah, so, Frank West,

can you tell me just a little bit about Lemon Witch? Sure. I mean, I'll just do a little bit, because, you know, he's really brief. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Candace Dixon Patterson, named Mason, slash Lemon Witch, is a superheroine from

Camelorum Adventures. Makes sense, sure. I mean, most of us are when you think about it. She was created by Chad Patterson, Anko Arena, Shazes, and the Dozerfeet founder on DeviantArt. Four people. Yeah. To remind you, this is a Sims character.

Four people needed to be involved in making a Sims character. Also to remind you, we don't know that those people are real or that they were involved in this. We're talking about the other links. The answer to this is probably... Jesus, are these... Did he actually collaborate with... Whatever.

Yeah, I'm looking at several different DeviantArt pages. Anyway, go on. Anyways. She was originally envisioned as a sort of parody of Marvel's Scarlet Witch from Age of Ultron, but she quickly grew into a character in her own right. She is a prisoner convicted of Class B assault after accidentally turning mall cop Roger Sanders into a lime, and is seeking to work as a nutritionist and run an orchid in Georgia upon her release. What?

Lemon, what did we tell you about posting your personal info? Oh, I'm so sorry. I would like to tell you more, but I was just looking at the DeviantArt of one of his collaborators, which is nothing but handicapped people tied up to walls and beaten.

Oh! That one really is a fetish. We're not joking this time. Oh, I don't know about that. Man, you won out. I was looking at the Facebook page of Sniper Wolf. Sneak preview.

Not very interesting. So this is the one time that the people who are like, I just want you to draw this as a joke, they won. They found their perfect... Frank West? Does this character have any aliases on the

right sidebar? Oh, yes. She has a bunch of prison nicknames. Mellow Yellow. That's right. Annoying Orangeette. Vitamin C. Fruit Loops. Pine Sol.

And Madam Meringue. Oh? I don't like those very much. So, yellow. I love all of them. Yellow is what you're going to say. I think there's some sort of yellow theme. Like a yellow... Out of sight.

All right, so... Good lord, it just goes on. I think, just to note this at some point, there's only, and it sounds kind of crazy to say only, but there's only 1,340 pages on this wiki. And he's adding pages constantly, so he's just constantly deleting this wiki. Well, and also, for example, that wiki page on Lemon Witch goes on forever. Yes. It's got, I don't know, probably 9,000, 10,000 words, I would guess.

If you, like, compared this to the average actual Wikipedia page, it would usually win out in length. Well, yeah, because, I mean, they're talking about stuff like wars or, you know, people's lives. But this is about Sims characters, dude. Yeah, no, dude. Well, by the dozer fleet. Right, right, right. But this is about Sims characters, dude. Yeah, no, dude.

Well, by the dozer fleet. Right, right, right. So, I want to tell you just a little bit here about the Viron Counselors Network ad. The what? I need to say it again? Fine. Okay, here we go. I thought you were wearing your fucking headphones.

But it's the Viron Counselors Network ad. Did it sink in yet? No, that makes sense. Sure, yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I gotcha. The whatever you just said. Yeah, that was an assignment for COM 385's broadcast writing class with Donna Smith in the spring semester of 2009 at Ferris State University. It was written by the Dozer Fleet founder on Monday, May 7th of 2009.

So something that he wrote in one day gets a massive wiki article. Yeah, so this was written by the Dozer Fleet founder. Yeah, this thing specifically on the Dozer Fleet forum was written by the Dozer Fleet founder. Oh, okay. So the logo for the center is Viron Counselors Network in Helvetica over a stock photo in PowerPoint.

The format is a PowerPoint slideshow, and the product is a fictional ad for a counseling center for troubled youth. All right. One of the largest projects for the class in COM 385 was to come up with a 30-second TV PSA spot, one that advertised some greater service And addressed troubled teens

This was interpreted by the Dozer Fleet founder As a counseling center similar to Boys Town National Hotline Counseling center similar to the hotline Yeah absolutely A place that would reach out to troubled teens In much the same way as Wedgwood Christian Services

To incorporate the worlds of Dozerfleet Comics into the picture, it was decided that an assignment would venture out of the trapezoid kids world. And I hope one of you at least is reading up on the trapezoid kids while I continue, but oh my god, the art looks amazing.

Yeah, it does. The trapezoid kids world. The Viron Counselors Network was to target teens that had been misdirected into gangs, unwanted pregnancy, porn addiction, theft, and thoughts of suicide. They were misdirected into all those things.

They were misdirected into, yeah, steal this stuff and then kill yourself. You knocked up, bitch! Good idea! Well, think about killing yourself. A little bit of all of these things need to be addressed in the ad. First, before anything else, a basic script was envisioned of a few teens being shown with their struggles, along with a narrator similar to some guy, explaining what VCN could do to turn these teens around. An ad copy script was then typed up in the recommended format for the class

and timed to make sure everything could happen to be crunched into 30 seconds. After that, various storyboards were rendered using The Sims 2. The storyboards... Damn it. Most people's first choice for 3D modeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember back in the bad old days when you had to use The Sims 1 to storyboard your movies?

That was bullshit. Yeah, it was terrible. The storyboards were compiled into a PowerPoint slideshow, which was to be presented in class along with the script. Weird. A shot breakdown sheet was included so as to clarify

what was happening in each scene. All right. So let's go through the script. I think it should be very straightforward. I think this should all make perfect sense. All right. Here we go.

Fade in. Closing prison door. Prison door slides and is being shot. Fade in. Music. Wait. Fade in twice. Okay. Music. Wait, fade in twice. Okay, music bed. Eerie music.

Continue fading. Fades upon fades upon fades. High-touch fades. It's like Star Wives and Shook. All right. Sorry. Fade in. Music bed.

Eerie music. Kept under. Cut to Amelia kicking and screaming. No, get off me! Pause. Let's discuss what's happened so far. What would you do if this happened to you? And intermission.

Key in, Barry in foreground. Teens can become troubled for a number of reasons. Key out Barry and dissolve James. No, James! No, not James. I miss him already. They may have found the wrong crowd. Dissolve Lena.

Or for another reason, they are simply broken. Pause before dissolve. Okay, now dissolve, BCN logo. We are the Viron Counselors Network, with branches across southern Indiana. Dissolve, Chuck. Still photo, key in, phone number. If your teen is in serious trouble, contact us today. Dissolve, Vanessa and Celia embracing each other. Key iPhone number.

Together, we can give them their lives back. Fade to black, then fade out music bed. Okay, good work, Keith. That's a wrap. That's a good script, everybody. Just give yourselves a hand here. And then after that, he goes through

all of the backstory of the characters that were introduced. Oh my god! Oh my god! For example, James is a gangbanger, fearing that the class would call the ad racist if James were black. He was made Hispanic instead!

Oh my god! So it's not racist. You know what's good. BCN becomes his pathway to redemption after he nearly committed suicide by cop. Chuck, a teen addicted to porn. He has invaded cyberspace

and become an amateur sexual predator. An amateur sexual predator? You gotta turn pro, man. He drinks enough women and he'll level up to be a amateur sexual predator. An amateur sexual predator? He's got a term for it. He drinks enough women and he'll level up to be a professional sexual predator. One day you'll get called up to the big leagues, buddy. He doesn't do it for money yet. It's for the love of the game.

He frequently looks for 15-year-old girls that don't know any better and tries to lure them into meeting him places. On the plus side, he's still eligible for the sexual predator Olympics. I hope he doesn't get on the football team then. He's got a lot of competition. Portax, will you just please read the first sentence of Amelia?

Yeah, one second. Amelia, a teen with red hair who robbed a fast food restaurant. Okay, thanks. One second. Amelia, a teen with red hair who robbed a fast food restaurant. Okay, thanks! Yeah, no problem. Are you sure you don't want to read the entire other giant paragraph? Wait, a giant paragraph on this wiki?

It doesn't sound... It sounds out of place. Oh my god. I'm sorry. So, uh, at one point, we were talking about the trapezoid kids, is that right? Yeah, I think so. Jack Chick, you found out

you were reading a little bit about the trapezoid kids, these drawings. Oh my god, these drawings. THU.us we will try to provide you any links that we can. Wait, okay, I need to see this trapezoid kids. So here's the thing, Lemon, is I'm a little surprised that you had trouble with the name because the trapezoid kids are very clearly a massive cultural phenomenon.

Okay. Really super popular. Yeah, yeah, of course. The Dozer Fleet made them. Everything that dude touched turned to fucking gold. Yeah, no, exactly. So consequently, on the Dozer Fleet wiki If you look in the Arts 102 section

You'll see a picture of AOF 303 room Where the trapezoids were first created But it's now being used As a storage room as of 2012 But I mean I know you want to know Exactly what the door to the room In which the trapezoid kids look like.

Hey, Portax. Yeah? You've taken art classes before. I mean, ostensibly, yeah. So how would you describe, if you had to paint a picture with words, how would you describe the cast of the trapezoid kids? Like someone OD'd on a geometry class and vomited all over the screen. Would you describe them as

trapezoids? Not in the fucking slightest, no. Well, no, no, one of them in the bow tie, the one in the bow tie is technically a trapezoid. Is that supposed to be a football? Yeah, he's the jock, he's holding the football. Or is that a cigar? It's a loaf? Yeah, he's the jock. Or is that a cigar?

It's a loaf of bread, you dipshit. Also, I like how he follows the Ms. Pac-Man school of design for girl trapezoid. It's purple with pink bones. That's how you know it's a girl trapezoid. So there's a little bit... Oh my god, there's so much about a trapezoid So there's a little bit Oh my god There's so much about the trapezoid kids As there should be PSA-a-thon

PSA-a-thon So the trapezoid kids appear to be I mean on first blunch They're a They're a cartoon about trapezoids? I mean, look, there's so much more to them. Okay, okay. There's so much more.

But, uh, fuck. But, Victor, will you tell me a little bit about the Trapezoid Kids PSA-a-thon? I mean, if you can. I think this is going to fucking kill Jack. Alright. The Trapezoid Kids PSA-a-thon. The Trapezoid Kids PSA-a-thon is a PowerPoint slideshow presentation

written by the Dozer Fleet founder on October 17th of 2007 for Computer Systems for Video class with Connie Morcom at Ferris State University. Run, Connie, run. Since the whole class was expected to do slideshow presentations on the origins of public service announcements, the Dozer Fleet founder chose to make a spoof PSA out of the assignment,

while also incorporating the trapezoid kids as much as possible. That's great. The strong intellectual property of the fucking trapezoid kids. And this PSA, of course, as most PSAs are, is a PowerPoint presentation. So there's a summary of all the slides in the PSA.

And then you said one slide later talked about Captain Planet. Is that right? Would you go on from there, please? Sure said one slide later talked about Captain Planet. Is that right? Yeah. Would you go on from there, please? Sure. One slide later talked about Captain Planet, a show that preached its liberal propaganda brazenly and shamelessly every few seconds. I mean, I don't completely disagree.

It's not wrong. The rather inappropriately titled episode, A Formula for Hate, was basically a misguided 30-minute misinformation campaign to counteract public HIV fears. Yay! I only remember the drug episode, so I can't help it. I only remember the time they went back and fought Hitler. Oh, that was also a good one, yeah, yeah. went back and fought Hitler. Oh, that's also a good one. Yeah, yeah.

A footnote on the slide states that it is one of the few episodes in which the Captain himself never actually appears. As interest waned on Captain Planet while the 90s progressed, and grew in Dozer Fleet, Power Rangers took over in the department of bizarre and silly PSAs.

One scene from a PSA from the original show dealt with a kid learning to respect differences in others by showing him trapped in a world where everyone was as annoying as he was. Oh boy. The PSA contradicted itself

in having no respect for the child, portraying him in the most obnoxious light possible. So it's annoying, but that's a feature, not a bug? Is that generally what you're going for here? Yeah, I think so. Jack Chick, I just see that you posted something. Would you read that, please?

So this is just before the Captain Planet slide, but following is a slide about Vixier 18's rough dub of Sonic X, which spoofs the idea of Sonic being used for PSAs about sex by having the cast of Sonic X deliver a PSA promoting abstinence. Oh, but then, I mean, either way you get... Is that what spoof means? Yes, that's what spoof means. Look, there's one takeaway from this is that Dozer Fleet knows exactly what parodies and spoofs are. There's one takeaway from this, is that Dozer Fleet knows exactly what parodies and spoofs are.

So, we've gone to many parts of the Dozer Fleet forums, of course. Can I just say one more thing about the Trapezoid Kids? No, please. I think it's worth it. Say many, many things about the Trapezoid Kids. I love them. I love them. Can I say 50 more things about the Trapezoid Kids? Well, in the summer class of 2007, at Ferris State University for DVD production, it was split up into two teams, and each team tried to beat the other by designing a better promotional DVD that would advertise the TV production department's promotional purposes.

And so the Dozer Fleet founder, to summarize stuff you do not want me to read all of, decided to put the Trapezoid Kids on the DVD. Makes sense. Ultimately, however, the marketing department at Ferris rejected this design and replaced it with a generic design. They didn't believe that the cute version of the DVD cover would convince new students of the credibility

of the program. Yeah, that was the problem. Oh, just dicks. So, yeah, we don't really want to advertise that someone came to our program and the thing that they made was a bunch of trapezoids. That's not something we want to promote. Look!

And they're not even trapezoids! Corn and Abel Mindosh is the self-assured, mildly narcissistic, but likable de facto leader of the main quartet of trapezoids. He almost always wears a red bow tie or a similar red

object, provided it contrasts well with his black body. Oh dear. That's racist. Holy shit. Then there's Humdrum Blah It's racist. Holy shit. Then there's Humdrum Blah Mindosh

is the youngest and most rambunctious of the four. He is absolute, most hyper and childish. His naivete no, his naivety is frequently exploited by his siblings who always find a way to use it to their advantage, though not always to his harm. Like the other

three, Humdrum likes to sing and dance vaudeville-style tunes. You know, like the kids do. He is jinxed like the others to sing the Module 4 Data Song whenever a science or art teacher nearby utters the words Module 4. Oh my god, I love the Module

4 Data Song. Well, I don't, but like, you know, if somebody says Module 4, it immediately gets into your head. Like, it's just an earworm that song. His primary weakness is caffeine, which causes him to fly around uncontrollably and turn into various other things. He gets

de-matted more than any of the others do so, more than any of the others do, and is often the eternal victim in a nod to Kenny McCormick from South Park. Of course. Yay. My references are the best.

All right. So that's various intellectual explorations from Dozer Fleet, which is all terrific and very wonderful. So we got to decide what we're going to close on. I think we've now recorded for about four and a half hours. So let's, Frank West, I'll let you decide which of these two things should be our last thing of the recording. A exploration about the time that was recorded in the Bible when man and dinosaur

walked together on the earth. Oh dear. From that documentary, the Flintstones. Yeah. Or, um, dozer fleet section on TV tropes. Oh dear. Oh my God. It's like a black hole.

I think I have to choose that one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh dear. Oh my god, it's like a black hole. I think I have to choose that one. Yeah, yeah. We're out of the Dozerfleet wiki and onto a different black hole. The problem. This trope, parentheses Dozerfleet. Oh no.

We're gonna be here for six years. Why does this exist? Now all we need to do is find the link to WikiHow on here, and it's really the F1 project. Absolutely. Okay, so this page goes on forever. Yeah, it does. I'm shocked by that. But it is a page on TV Tropes about stationary Voyagers.

I don't know who would have written this, but It's fans. Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course. Frank wrote it. He knows so much now. Yeah, that's why I've been doing the whole episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, if you could as briefly as humanly

possible summarize Dozerfleet's exploration of stationary Voyagers here. Brief? Yeah. F plus challenge mode. I could do it quickly. Okay.

Stationary voyagers and algorithmic drives, prestige science, science fiction, science hopper bug, and also adventure TV series and development of Dozerfleet, the makers of CM Web webcomic series. The team of anthropomorphic writing utensils is assembled

to embark on diplomatic recon missions that are called to prevent widespread imperialism. Anyway, anyway, it's a sci-fi story about pens.

That's the important part, right? All right. Sapient pens. So I've noticed, as one of the many, many fans of Stationary Voyagers,

that there's lots of tropes that appear in stationary Voyagers. Could you explain some of them for me, please? Let's start with arc number. Arc number. Yes. Yes, arc number. You'd think that something so alphabetically first would be near the top of the page, but there's actually an entire page and a half before that.

Yeah, no, no, you've got to scroll past America Saves the Day and Ass-Kicking Christmas. Well, it was really nice of whoever did this to actually hide the spoilers behind the spoiler tag. On TVTurfs. The spoilers for the thing that, oh my god. Okay, okay, come on. Here we go. Arc number 86 for ideals, 64 for realism, and 22 for shortcoming and goals.

22, of course, being the difference between 86 and 24. Duh. It checks out. It actually has a wiki link to Captain Obvious, because how could you not see that? Because Peck still is mechanized at the age of 22. Is that like a pen bar mitzvah when you're mechanized?

Yes. There's dancing and somebody smashes something. That's a wedding. I don't know how a bar mitzvah works. Right, clearly. He only ends up piloting a ship that can travel at a top speed of Mach 86, and the next fastest ships can at best go only at Mach 64. That's great.

So I want to hear about bizarre alien reproduction, please. Yeah, you do. Don't we all? Well, unfortunately, bizarre alien reproduction is actually a subverted trope. Oh, that's even more delicious! The way they have sex is very similar to human reproduction. Although they require

different positions and derive less pleasure from it than we do. They are, however, more sensitive to sex enhancement drugs, which put them in a trance easier. You have to move away from the microphone. Is that what sex drugs do?

This is partly why the Yitzig Pirate League can weaponize sex against targeted cultures so easily. They can? What? How did they do that? I've been trying to weaponize sex with so many people. They're just in their space pirate ship and everyone's got the cocks out of the windows.

They perfected the cock rocket. Yeah. I have no idea what's going on anymore. Welcome to my world, asshole. Oh boy, this is great. Can Victor read about diplomatic impunity? I think he probably should, yeah. Victor, Victor, this is great. What? Can Victor read about diplomatic impunity?

I think he probably should, yeah. Victor, Victor, please read about diplomatic impunity. Dictor? Dictor? Diplomatic impunity. Callously averted on... Mantiff? Sure.

Yeah, we'll accept that. It's fine. Okay. As the Antean president shows little to no interest in actually keeping his promises to keep the Voyagers safe... Oh, come on. Like a regular old Antean politician. I know. Sure. Sure the government funds them and helps them find jobs. But they're on their own for protection.

Typical. They are regularly harassed, threatened, and abducted by governments and civilian villain types alike. He just started. He went abducted, period. New sentence capital, by governments. Yep. Yeah. Yes. The Antean government primarily abuses them as publicity stunts as well. What?

Yep. No, no. Makes sense. It's good. What? Yep. No, no. Makes sense. It's good.

Even considering revoking the little immunity they have just to appease gay special privileges groups who are out for their ink. Yep. For their ink. Oh, man. That's right. Like, out for their blood. And frankly... Oh.

Yeah. Oh, I thought that was jism. No, that still doesn't make sense. Frank is spending way too much time here. He's starting to make sense of this. This is bad. Yeah, He's starting to make sense of this. This is bad. Yeah, I'm starting to make sense, just like the Antillion Ambassador

in episode 40. Oh, no. Oh, man, that was a good one. Oh, wait, there's a Kung Fu Jesus. Well, then tell me about the Kung Fu Jesus. So, yeah, Minchus is the only being who can authorize large-scale mulexic tampering in the space-time continuum.

He helps blow up an entire planet. He had a bodyguard for a short while that was made of supernatural martial arts. And when he came to raise an army of resurrected souls to live other resurrects out of their graves and collect everyone around the world for Judgment Day, the news reported it as him have started the zombie apocalypse. Oh, yay! More zombie apocalypses in popular fiction! Yay! No, they reported it. He was bringing

people back to life and they thought he was starting the zombie apocalypse. Lemon, this is not popular fiction. Okay, fair enough. You're right. I retract. I objected. Lemon, are you trying to imply that Dozerfleet is somehow derivative? Not anymore! It's a parody, you dipshit!

There's also, I've noticed the one thing that I've personally enjoyed very much is there's little hints of it in Stationary Voyagers, but it's the Smurfette principle. Which is played straight with the angels. Oh.

Most of them see no point in manifesting as a woman, especially since few cultures in human history respected the words and voice of a woman. Right? One notable exception is is it

Criticamus? Criticamus? Critic... Criticmus? Critic... I mean, that's a holiday that i celebrate so i didn't know that anyone else did yeah it's yeah anyway critique miss who rarely makes an appearance since she's even since she's an even bigger walking wasteland than liquid on she burns she shows up in a mini sode explaining why more angels don't manifest as women, and turns her captain's apartment into Cher Noble Light. She also makes an appearance in Bittersweet This Bargain,

since the crooked rainbow begin to get smart after the events in Choice After All, and start wearing flame retardant to thwart off filth-worth attacks. And before we move on, trademark favorite food, CREEPES! He keeps saying to look at the trivia page, but I do not see it actually on here. Is this... Well, there's links to it on a couple of them.

What is on here is TV Trope's pages for CM Webcomic series, QBasic Gorillas and Blood Over Water. Hey, Frank West. Yes. Quick question. Who is Morgan Le Fay? Morgan L-E space F-A-Y.

Who is Morgan Le Fay? Well, she's a random prostitute with no relation to Arthur. Okay. Okay, that's what I thought. I just wanted to double check. Like the TV series? The children's book? No, no, no. The Dudley Moore movie. Okay, that's what I thought. I just wanted to double check. Like the TV series? The children's book? No, no, no. The Dudley Moore movie. Oh, okay. Um, I think it's Dudley Moore. Anyway,

uh, F+, what did we learn from this thing? We learned what it's like to live in a world where every single idea you've ever thought of is really good. Yeah, yeah. I mean, to his credit,

parentheses, question mark, parentheses, he has I think a larger volume of terrible ideas than I probably have had. The thing that strikes me about this is that this whole stationary voyagers thing

that we just talked about. So this is a book that's in development. So he's still writing the book. Sort of, but sometimes he writes it. But there's a 50-page TV Tropes article that he took the time out of writing the book. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're misunderstanding that. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're misunderstanding that. The sort of in-development thing is a little bit of just a nod to the fact that, like, none of these things ever actually exist. Oh, I understand, but you can pretend that you're working on a book and really just writing a TV Tropes article about the book that you're pretending that you're writing is just a... I can't finish that sentence. As far as I can tell, Dozerfleet Creator

has created exactly two things. What's that? Maybe more than two, but he's created things that he was literally forced to when he went to college. And he has, and he created a terrifying newsletter to an ex-girlfriend. Oh, that's true. That's true. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That is, those are the two things, two categories of things that he has created. And actually, when I say... And also his wiki. that he has created. And also his wiki. No, you're right. His wiki is more work and effort than I think I've ever put into anything.

He's also created a lot of Weird Al style parody songs. Oh, I would disagree with your definition there. No, I thought he sang some of them. Oh, apparently. We haven't even listened to them yet. I guess, I mean, I think the thing about the wiki is that because he doesn't actually make anything,

but he wants to pretend like these things exist, that he has to, I feel like it's very difficult to document because how would you possibly, like I have a hard time remembering stuff that happened in these episodes, and I've, you know, like, recorded them, edited them, listened to them later, and I have a hard time remembering them sometimes. Like, I don't know how he's supposed to remember, like, this particular episode of the show that doesn't exist.

That seems hard. I mean, I do that. Okay. doesn't exist that seems hard that's it's i mean i do that okay so so is that maybe like is that why you want to write down like all of the stuff that happens in your thing just so you can remember the fictional time when you made something well no i mean like it depends like if you're actually making stuff like i can remember exact things that i've made up when I was in grade school, my shitty ideas and stuff. But something that happens on the internet a lot is people get so obsessed with the end result of a thing getting made. Sure, that makes sense. Rather than that, so people will already be like, oh, I'm going to make a comic, and I've already decided what the merchandise is going to be like.

Yeah. And if you add crazy on top of this, it doesn't make things better. So something that actually shocked me is I was looking at this TV Tropes website and you guys might have heard of it. Yeah, I might have. No, but I was looking at actually the edit history

of this particular page and there are several different people who have edited this, generally to clean up a bunch of screeds against liberals. Right, right. So I guess maybe there's something that exists somewhere? Doubtful. No. There's just people on TVTropes who will edit and clean up anything and they won't verify that it's a real thing that exists yeah yeah yeah because like for example that powerpoint

slide that he was talking about a little while ago like that thing actually existed and so like there was very much like slides about like when the exact thing happened like everything that actually existed was uh meticulously documented. Good point. Well, so, I mean, the other major thing that I learned is that if this guy actually ever fucking produces a trapezoid kids cartoon, I will watch the fuck out of it. Dude. Well, actually, I wouldn't. No, you would not.

If you pay Dozer Fleet before you pay me to make a cartoon, I'll fucking strangle you. You're right, you're you. You're right. You know, Portax, how many Trapezoid Kids episodes have you written? You know what, Portax? I'll pay you to make a Trapezoid Kids cartoon. Let's do it. All right. Yeah.

Bye-bye. I am not even kidding. I'm fucking opening PayPal right now. Yeah, how much do you want? How much do you want for a Trapezoid Kids cartoon? We'll have to negotiate how little effort I could spend on it. Yeah, me and Jack check and go halfsies, I think. Yeah, no, totally. Can you do this on Fiverr?

Because there's an opportunity available for you. I'll animate shitty trapezoids. Ooh, I'll even make, like, it would be even better if the cartoon itself was obviously terrible, but I make a bunch of supplementary material, like character turnarounds, like model sheets and shit. That would be good. The character

turnaround on Trapezoid would be like blob and then line. And then nine. Yes. Yes. Yes. Have, like, the mouth chart for what it looks like when they talk, and it's just the same face over and over again because they don't have a face.

Because they don't have a mouth! Yeah. The other thing that I enjoy is that every time you see the Dozer Fleet logo on something else, like, the Photoshop effects that are used on the Dozer Fleet logo change. He's mixing it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's good. It's good.