The F Plus - 214: Jerks Off Of Jerking Off

Episode Date: June 3, 2016

NoFap is a community, fortified by Reddit, where men (and hypothetically women, but always men) can discuss how they've reached their full physical and intellectual potential since they've stopped masturbating. And the results are self-evident when you read the one act plays where parts of their brain argue with their penis. It's a community of tense individuals, and we're gonna figure out why. This week, Frank West tests his Progressive Death Mettle.

Baldog is taken? Why is Baldog taken? That doesn't make any sense. Do you really want to know? Well, I'm a mighty, mighty man. I'm young and I'm in my prime. Yes, I'm a mighty, mighty man. I'm young and I'm in my prime. Well, I don't pick my jobs. Welcome to the F+, a turgid and satisfying place for terrible things, right with enthusiasm.

In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. I don't know how to explain this. My penis went from about 5.5 inches to 7 inches in length. Not to mention how big my balls are. John Toast? Holy crap, man. Somebody please give this guy a Pulitzer for putting shit how it really is. Frank West?

I was going strong for a month solid. Then yesterday they dropped Jennifer Lawrence nudes and I lost it all in an instant. Nutshell gulag! Just threw away 22 days because of my petty want to measure my dick. Damn. And Lemon. My poem to porn. Since I met you, porn, I have thrown away my priceless testosterone in large quantities.

Consequently, I have lost so much sex energy and brain power. The end. James Joyce. Hey, F Plus. Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. How have your masturbation habits been of late?

Spotties. Mmm. Mmm. How have your masturbation habits been of late? Spotty. Mmm. Mmm. That's a weird word to use. I didn't expect this kind of question. Is it too late to duck out of this episode? Stripey. Stripey.

All right. Stripey. Well, I've been solidsy, so together we've all got a pool game. Mine's like fruit stripestripe gum. Five minutes and then oddly disappointing. Yeah, but the five minutes are great. Anyways. That's a solid joke.

I want to bring us to a site that we've been to before. It's known as... Reddit.com! Hey! Finally a place for me. But this is going to help all of us

with our personal well-being. This is a specific subreddit called rnofap. It is an organization of people who are trying to masturbate less. And they have their own guides and

stories and tales about themselves masturbating less. They have their own website outside of Reddit, which is NoFap.com. Their slogan is, Get a new grip on life. God,

that's so awful. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, uh, so nofap is a secular porn recovery community website. Uh,

but we're going to be spending most of our time on Reddit, uh, for obvious reasons. Uh, and we are going to start things off, uh, with Dr. Fappenstein,

not Dr. Fappenstein, Dr. Fappenstein. And this post has 231 upvotes, and Dr. Fappenstein himself has five stars. So Frank West, will you start us off here, please? Yes. Thank you. So the five stars stands for 165 days of not masturbating, I believe. Oh, it's like an AA chip kind of thing. That's nice. That's very nice.

It says right there, five stars, 165 days. I wonder how the math breaks down. My name is Dr. Fappenstein, and I don't jerk off. Uh-huh. Nice. No, really. I'm Dr. Fappenstein. Shit how strong I have grown.

Um, okay? Well, today, I saw the only girl that I have ever been in love with, who I planned kids and home with, the one I had given everything I had. We were together for two years, then we broke up. I'm still in love with her. Well, today I found out that she has a new boyfriend and they are together on a trip. Before, NoFap has devastated me.

Completely. But NoFap has teached me many lessons. I deal with the situation the same way I dealt with urges. What urges I felt. To cry, to get wasted, to be angry at the world, to scream of pain it caused in my heart, to visualize our happy family and kids we didn't have. I find it weird that masturbation was not in one of your urges.

I find it weird that he hasn't clarified if he's ever known or been in a relationship with... Oh, I don't find that weird. We're on Reddit. I also like that a guy whose whole focus here is not masturbating, his name is Dr. Fappenstein. That's like being a reformed alcoholic. Well, yeah, it's an old account. A little bit of cognitive dissonance. How I dealt with.

I observed those urges, didn't react to them, just looked at them as they were. I knew that every urge will pass. I looked at the bleeding pain in my heart, just observed the pain, didn't try to resist it. I felt every piece of it and just sat on my balcony

smoking a cigarette and observing the feeling. So this is like DBT for guys that like to jerk off a lot. Okay, I get that. So this is how the most painful feeling of losing a loved one feels. It's just a feeling like every other one. This balcony would make a good sniper tower. just a feeling like every other one. This balcony would make a good sniper tower.

You know, I hear that paragraph and I think this is a person who's really over whenever he's talking about it. I mean, he's dramatically brooding. That's what they do on TV when they get over things. That's true. I didn't give into any old patterns of trying

to hide from the pain with alcohol, drugs, or PMO. I don't know. Is that anybody? Any guesses? That's the Prime Minister of Ontario. I don't know. It's the Prime Minister's office. Pretty monkey audience.

Personal masturbation orientation planning meetings? Anyway, continue. My strength had grown so strong that I... I love being strong. Make strength stronger! I just looked at the feeling and then let it go.

I don't know how I gained so much strength, but I have felt so much pain and urges during NoFap that I just took it. I took every piece of it. And when I realized it won't break me again, I felt inner peace that every difficult situation in life is a possibility to grow. Also, I have so much more time for cleaning my rifle. So I found the NoFap glossary. Oh found the no-fap glossary. Oh, no-fap glossary.

PMO stands for Porn Masturbation Orgasm. That's not necessary. Gosh, okay. Well, it is necessary because they come together like a happy meal and a glossary. Hey, Boots, I know that PMO stands for Porn Masturbation Orgasm. What does PVO stand for? Uh, Porn Vibrator Orgasm?

And, uh, and what's PIV stand for? Penis and Vagina. I like this, uh, PIDE, P-I-E-D is Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Okie dokie, then. This is people that got their first boner to Clockwork Orange. Give my cock a little bit of the ultraviolence.

All right. My name is I, boss, I have cancer. I, boss, I have cancer. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, boss! Hey, boss, I have cancer. I, boss, I have cancer. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, boss! Hey, boss, I have cancer. You missed one thing in the glossary? The death grip? Oh, yeah.

We've covered that recently. That's when you don't masturbate, but you just yell tachyon all day. Jesus. Shit, I'm feeling it. So we know what the death grip is, but what's the death schlick? I think

same thing for girls? Uh-huh. I'm guessing. Okay. Stimulating the clitoris very rapidly and energetically. We are the cheeky clits. Anyway, uh, hey boss, you have cancer, right?

Hey boss, I have cancer. Oh no. You seem to have, yeah, we'll start early. You seem to have a Buddhist reaction to these feelings, just observing them. Anyway, very inspirational story, thanks for sharing. I don't know that

you understand Buddhism as well as you think you do. I don't think Buddha you understand Buddhism as well as you think you do I don't think Buddha masturbated Yeah, he sat under the tree and didn't jack off for a while You see Buddha masturbating in the middle of the road and kill him Help him out

If a Buddha is masturbating in the middle of the road you must jack him off And then that boots? Uh, yeah, I'm TJR3535 If a Buddha is masturbating in the middle of the road, you must jack him off. And then the Boots? Oh, yeah, I'm TJR3535. Robots don't need to jerk an arrow down. Being at 85 days, I'm curious to know how I would handle heartbreak.

My addiction escalated during a heartbroken state back in late September. You know, just like... It helped me get over my addiction to her, but I fell into a new addiction, became a sexual fucking deviant. That's the worst kind of sexual deviant. Until, like late March, when I jerked off twice before working out, and I was just like, WTF, man, I'm done. Okay, okay.

Just finished jerking off, like, throws his hands up, I'm out! What the fuck?! I just... The world these people live in is very strange. Agreed. Yeah, we have the serial killer about the guy whose girl broke up with him, and this guy who called his former partner an addiction. These are all very healthy people.

Also, this guy says he's on 85 days, but he doesn't have a badge, so I don't believe him. Relapsed a couple times, but since mid-April, which I'm more definite about this time. Well, the badge is a little rubber stamp that goes directly on the penis, so if you masturbate, it gets rubbed off. Oh, yeah, it's IoT for your dick. Or if you wash, too. Well, yeah, we don't have to worry about that.

Yeah, since mid-April, I'm clean, man. Sorry, punctuation. Since mid-April, I'm clean, man. Dun-dun-dun! Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime. Clean Man. None of the criminals want to fight this guy.

Clean Man, Clean Man, they're robbing that bank. I haven't masturbated. Goodbye. Somebody draw that costume. Okay. No PMO for 85 days. I feel amazing. Good luck, buddy.

I don't really know if I feel amazing because it's been 85 days. Okay. I'm Porn Kills Love, and I'm going to assume that this is a guy, so I'll try to do a man voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people say men can't have emotions. They're wrong. Men can have emotions. But like the Vulcan in Star Trek, we must control our emotions or they will consume us.

Oh, dear. You handled it like a man. No, you didn't. Not for 85 days. Well, Porncow's love hasn't handled it like a man for 324 days. Wow. I want to know how you keep verifying that. Does the Reddit police come over?

I think they just have a little thing that they have to slap every once in a while, like a button or something. Speaking of today, I found an exciting new app for Christians called Lion. It's a browser, but it is called the Accountability Browser. And the reason is that if you ever go to a porn site using this browser, it texts what website you were to your wife. Sweet! Yeah, so it's... Yeah, honey. Yeah, they make these phones so you can only have one browser installed on them.

So this will work. So this document, I don't believe I mentioned it, but this document is put together by Achilles Heelys, and thank you so very much for that. Yay! There are 21 pages in this document. Pretty good, and we are right now skipping over

NoFapReallyWillMakeYouAChickManget, which I like a lot. Hey, Manget! But instead, we are going to be going to a thread called Real Advice from a Real Man. And here we are going to

nofap.com. Real Advice from a Real Man. Read me. I've been fap-free for about a week now. Oh, wow. I have five posts on this thread. The previous week, I had a wet dream

and vowed to fuck some pussy. Hide your cat. I advise many of my no-fappers to get a bitch or a fuck buddy. Now, me and my female companion have been seeing each other for a couple weeks now, now, now, now, now, now,

and have had several failed attempts due to porn-induced ED and performance anxiety. Yeah, it's the porn's fault. That's what I'm telling them. But last night, there was nothing of that nature. Now, normally, when I'm about to penetrate, I would feel that ejaculation sensation. Then, what? That's what you feel

when you're bout to penetrate. This is the lyrics to a Frank Zappa song. Bout to penetrate in the ejaculation sensation. Great. And then wouldn't want to put it in her for fear of bad performance and fear of children. Yeah, okay, I know what he means. Bad performance and fear of children used to open for Frank.

But this time it was great. First I received some good oral. I knew things have changed because I'm usually quick to come from fellatio, but didn't, it was more of an appetizer. Oh, baby. You suck me like a blooming onion. I like that that was what you reached for immediately, an appetizer.

I eat it every day. Then she sat on it right in front of my house in the car. Wait, what did she sit on? Where was I? My house in the car. It bit kind of funny when she did that. I want to tell you

beginning nofappers that you're fighting for this feeling. You've been doing this for five days. You are beginning nofappers. No, no, no, no, no, no. I am expert level. I'm just really good at it. I'm a fapstronaut. I was waiting for when we would say that.

That's a term that gets used frequently. Yeah, they all refer, they're very proudly calling themselves fapstronauts. Also, they went really half-assed with the female version of that, because that's just called femstronaut. Oh, come on. Dicks in space! The feeling to put your dick in a chick and feel strong and confident.

Now the sex. Sliding into her with his fists on his hips. Just like, yeah. I can do anything. Now the sex was probably five to seven minutes. But everyone has a short sexual performance every now and again. Why does he... I love this yo-yo where he's like,

I'm the fucking man. I haven't masturbated in a week. But my dick wouldn't work. But I'm doing great. I had this fuck buddy and she sucked me off. And then I lasted five minutes. I got all these pimples in my back. I also just wanted to get my nut off, which I think sped up the sex a little.

I'm now going to approach every sexual encounter with the woman first in mind. That's funny. Yeah, right. This time I won't drink myself into oblivion. This time. Now everyone's sexual organs and addictions are different, but for the past week or so, I haven't looked at any porn, massed

air-baited, and have been doing kegel exercises. Okay, okay, can we put a pause? Okay, this isn't the first time on the podcast that man kegels have came up. Is that just squeezing your ass? I mean, is it something? Okay, fine, thanks. That's all I wanted to know. Yep, yep, yep.

That's exactly what it is. Thank you. Another thing that porn does is it makes you insecure. No homo, but a couple of the women I have been with told me I had a big dick. You're right, that is no homo. There's like no need to preface it with that. I was going to say that's a pretty gay thing to say. Well, no homo, but thank you, John. That was no homo until you prefaced it with that. I was going to say, that's a pretty gay thing to say. Well, no homo, but thank you, John.

That was no homo until you prefaced it with no homo. They told me I had a big dick, but I didn't believe them because I thought I didn't measure up to the porn dash stars. But my dick is pretty big, though, lol, and is not going to get any bigger or smaller, so I must use what I have to all of the no-fappers. Keep being strong and fuck something! G.I. Joe!

Yeah, okay. It's easy to be a no-fat person, just treat a woman like your hand. Best responses from somebody named anything is possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Boots, instead you're going to be taking No Afraid is the last post in this thread. No. Oh, sorry.

Not Afraid. Not Afraid. I'm not afraid. I can make you afraid. Yeah. Real men who talk about themselves as real men are usually very insecure inside. To me, your post seems like edgy and ego-boosting bragging. I don't know why I have a

really big dick. Bragging is one of the ways the insecure people look for approval. Real men need only their own approval. But the whole point of this site is not to get myself approval. Your writing makes you look like

a 13-year-old kid. Real man is a grown-up. Real man is grown up. Real man is a grown up. Real man is a grown up! Chica, real man. That's a grown up. You just seem like someone who's trying to live to his father's expectations. I'm also going to bring Freudian bullshit in this.

Yeah, why not? Why not? Okay, why not? Okay. And failed. Thus, overcompensating with fucking bitches and having a big dick, yeah, motherfucker, yeah! Well, I mean,

that would make sense coming from your avatar, which is Eminem. Which is below avatar of 300. Gosh, I'm so terribly not surprised. It's Eminem's middle third. It's honestly the best third of Eminem.

Why are you trying to raise yourself above everyone else by claiming that your advice is the real one? That's not what real men do. What do they do? They don't have the need to. Maybe a little attitude adjustment wouldn't hurt. To be honest,

sometimes you seem like you're trolling. I just hope that I ain't feeding a troll at this moment. Well, you picked the right time to realize that, maybe. Anyways, congratulations

on your week of abstinence. Aw, thanks, man! Tonight we'll be trolls in hell! That's what's called a criticism sandwich. Hi, my name is Andix, and I like this. Andix liked every post in this thread. Andix? Oh, Andix.

All right. Andix. Andix. Andix. All right, so that was section number one. Section number two in this document is called, Have you heard about my penis? So we're going to be starting out with a post.

We are back now on Reddit. We are going to be starting with a post called, By How Smart is Smart? And that will be Nutshell Gulag. This has 101 upvotes. Nutshell, if you'll take it, please. My name is HowSmartIsSmart, and the title of my thread is

Cold Showers, My Tiny Penis, and Infinite Glory! Wow, I didn't know HowSmartIsSmart was a pen name for Chuck Klosterman. Now on Steam Greenlight. I'm just getting started with a NoFap program and not so surprisingly struggling.

But one thing I've taken to like a fish to water, is cold showers. I think one of my favorite things about cold showers is how itsy bitsy they make my pecker. Holy God! Okay. With

PMO, I find myself marveling at my penis, giving it attention it almost certainly does not deserve. It's just a penis after all. And masquating it to match what I see in pornography. Hey guys, I just got here. Do you have anywhere I can rope up this fetish?

I know, I have to take it everywhere I go because I can't find a fetish center. I'll masturbate, and all the while muse to myself, look at this thing! How is it that all the women of the earth are not clawing over one another to kneel at my feet and fillate this heavenly monument to manliness? Needless to say, we all know the answer to that question. Well, I mean, I guess,

but it's not like we'd ask ourselves that. Because you stay inside all day? Oh, yeah, there it is. But when I take a cold shower, it's different. My wee-wee gets teeny, and I kind of love that. It's wonderful to take a shower and be

so concerned with bathing myself, embracing the cold, and getting the fuck out of there that. It's wonderful to take a shower and be so concerned with bathing myself, embracing the cold, and getting the fuck out of there that I don't even remember my urge to thap. In that shrunken penile state, I feel manly, alive, and yes, glorious. Cold showers for everyone! Oh, no! I do not like the totalitarian regime. My name is Effabees.

Hi. The best thing about cold showers is that for the rest of the day, I'm a confidence machine. I'm thinking, get out of my way, little wimp. I take cold showers. So, just to be clear, little wimp is referring to his penis? Yeah. Get out of my way! Okay.

I'm Stikver? No, Stikverker. Yeah, yeah, that sounds right. I feel like I'm the only guy who is physically incapable of having cold showers. Maybe my shower is abnormally cold,

or maybe I'm just a pussy, but I seize up as soon as I get in a cold shower and struggle to breathe. It perplexes me that the rest of our nofap is capable. Yeah, it's a real unique situation there, buddy. When I exercise, it hurts, and I don't like it. Does anyone else feel that way? The next post we're going to be reading

is in dialogue format. Oh, yay! I love scripts. All right. So, Nutshell, you are going to be playing the role of Penis. And then, Boots, you are going to be playing the role of Cerebral Cortex, which is different than the Cerebral Cortex.

Cerebral, yeah. Cortex in parentheses, rational thought. Right, right, right. Oh, yeah. All right. So this post is called Conversation with Penis. All right. Is somebody going to be reading the names, or are we supposed to text?

It's by SF Yumato. No, it's known that you're the penis, and I'm the cerebral cortex. Yeah, that's something that I think all of our listeners know. It's just a known fact. I want to ejaculate right now! I already told you that if you want to ever ejaculate again, you need to help out and give me confidence to talk to real life girls. I don't think that's on me, man.

Whatever. Me and a limbic system processing emotions are fed up with this shit. It's too difficult. Plus, it's so much easier and exciting to view porn while you rub me. Your penis is a valley girl. No matter what I do, it comes out as valley girl. Great. My penis wants shitty panties.

Listen, that is never going to happen. Plus, it will feel so much better for you to be inside a life pussy. What? Say that one more time. One more time. Inside a life pussy. Oh, God. All right.

All right. So we're all going to be going. Again, Freudian psychology. We're all going to be coming out of Downward Dog and going into life pussy. Man, I hate yoga. Everybody pair up with your life pussy. Man, I hate yoga. Everybody pair up with your life pussy. And then you won't ever

be alone anymore and you will have real pussy partner that will love you. Okay, but when? That is up to you. When you stop asking for porn and for me to stroke you

And when you team up with me And we all start focusing on becoming serious We need to be a team And help me build up confidence To start approaching real girls We need to find one That will love you and me And will be a friend to us

Okay But with the LEMIC system, process and emotions, there's no one to help us! It will. Besides, we need to be a team here. We all need to focus on not fapping and start self-developing to better our confidence so we can start as soon as possible. It will not be possible unless

we are all in this together. Okay, okay! Let's do this shit! Woo! My name is Arnfried and I have a score of four. Four. It's funny but it's also very

true. I like it. Keep going and good luck for you and your penis. Good luck. Good luck, penis. Godspeed, you cock emperor. Alright. Jean, you are going to be

a... Oh, it's peni-destruction. Whoa! Peni-destruction, the destruction of multiple penises. Of different, like, species, right? But most specifically, not my own. Penidestruction.com This site is under construction Hi all

I've Oh I'm sorry I should say what I'm talking about Yeah what Prone masturbation Destroyed my penis And not even Nofap can save me

What do Not even Nofap can save you Not even Nofap can save him now. Everyone's last refuge? I mean, one time I hit rock bottom. I had no money in the bank account, no job.

Parents kicked me out, and I went into NoFap, and they told me not to masturbate. For the memory of a lifetime. NoFap, NoFap, no fap. And at that point, I had nothing at all. Hi, all. I've humped prone masturbation my entire life. I'm 32.

This has destroyed my penis and made regular sex an impossibility. Do you mean continuously your entire life? Because that's the only way this makes sense. I've only recently left the room. Think about the friction burns. It's technically a disability, okay? For the rest of my life, forever. I used to have a car, but it's ruined now.

For the rest of my life, forever... I used to have a car, but it's ruined now. For the rest of my life, forever, I will never have sex with a girl. So basically, what I did was, number one, desensitive my penis to the point where nothing other than prone masturbation or death grip fapping can make me cum. Yeah. Number two. Stretch the skin around my penis

so that the skin is loose and droopy. Oh. I don't like to masturbate. You know what? The balls are droopy, wrinkly, and mushy. Oh! You know, I don't think that's the right name of those dwarves. The balls are droopy, wrinkly, and mushy. Oh!

You know, I don't think that's the right name of those dwarves. If they're mushy, you might have a more immediate problem. I mean, balls stop being mushy when you push them a certain way. And I don't think you can blame prone masturbation on your mushy balls. He edited out the part where he's like, Oh, yeah, and a dominatrix kicked me in the balls for all that time as well. Big ball-busting fetish, yep. Totally. It's a Frank Zappa song again.

And by the way, by mushy, by MUSHY in all caps, I mean, I have the balls of a 60-year-old man. We'll give them back. If you want them back, send the money to this address. Can't get an erection. Number three is can't get an erection lasting more than 75 seconds. Yeah, that's not the... Okay, that's something else.

Also, my brain has been rewired so that only kinky fetish pornography can arouse me. That's the way I masturbate at falls, right? It's not a problem with me, right? It's not my mind. Yeah, I lay down while masturbating. It's those goddamn porn gremlins. They climb into my ears at night with their little wrenches and rewire my brain. I think we may have failed to something else that Lemon spoke of just like one minute ago.

It's the way I masturbated, right? That and mother. I mean, no, I didn't mean that. Anyways. I've been around hot naked women rubbing me, stroking, etc. and nothing. Not even a hint of an erection. Oh, not a sous-sant of an erection?

Soupcon. Just the subtle waftings of an erection. If they rubbed their feet in my face or strangled me with long fingers or something just

growing like Freddy Krueger and just How come you got so many horses tied up to the bench out there? Then maybe

maybe it would do something but other than that I've completely destroyed my mind and body. It might have come a little damaged in box, frankly. I've seen a urologist, and there's nothing that can be done. Wow, he spelled psychologist weird. Viagra and Cialis won't make much of a difference.

They suggested plastic surgery, where basically they pull the skin tight around the base of my dick and clip off the excess skin and sew it back shut. Is that what they... I think they recommended that. They said, get out of my office. Get out of my office or I'll chop your dick off. We're going to give your penis

what we call a skin comb-over. Now your dick will look like Trump. No! Oh, no! This is obviously too horrific, and I can't go through with it. Even though he said it's likely, I will never reach the full 100% functionality

of a male my age. Agreed. At the age of 32, I have the sexual health of a 62-year-old, according to my urologist. So, that's just it. This is a warning to all prone masturbators, parents, siblings, etc. If you do this, or know anyone who does this,

stop them now. Preferably open their door. Burst right in on them. Do not let them continue. It will utterly destroy their life and future. Slap that cock right out of their hands. And then so... Because that won't cause any problems.

Yeah. And then punish him for being gay! New fetish acquired. That's soap! Soap! Just a heads up for anyone who wants to read this. Yep. Tilde three weeks of no fap did not improve my sensitivity.

Vaginal intercourse feels like you're fucking a cloud. You basically don't feel a goddamn thing. That sounds nice, actually. It's so soft and fluffy! Yeah! Fucking a cloud, fucking a cloud. Basically, you don't feel a goddamn thing. Orgasm is 100% impossible.

Life equals ruin forever. What do, Reddit? What do? And nobody has any advice. I was gonna say, how many times did they say kill yourself? It being Reddit. Oh, a lot. I see the word deleted in square brackets a lot, so

just count those. So, I guess, like, he just kept humping pillows so hard that he bent his dick out of shape? Apparently? I searched for prone masturbation on Google and it brought up, I think the number one site is HerbalLove.com So, I don't

really believe it's a thing, but it also brought me to HealthyStrokes.com slash pronecomments.html which is pretty good. Link, please. Healthy Strokes? Whoa, that is some website design. Gosh.

Future episode. I love when we get hints to possible future episodes. And bookmarked! Frank, I get what you're saying, and I'm glad you did the research, but come on, I mean, prone masturbation obviously made this a guy who can't get it up unless he's looking at what he finds really disgusting

fetish porn. I mean, that's a part of the way he was masturbating. Also, Frank West, I was on your link, and this one question occurred to me, which is I can only ejaculate when I masturbate face down? I tried to switch when it didn't work. What should I do? My age is 15.

Well, the answer is keep trying. Men with a lot more habit of doing it face down than you have switched successfully, and you can do it too. Thanks, buddy! There are lots and lots of questions. do it too. Thanks, buddy! There are lots and lots of questions. Many, many.

This dates back from 19... from 2008 to 2016. It's still being updated. Good lord. Anyway, this is another... This is not dialogue, but we are

having a conversation with a penis. John Toast, if you'll take that, please. Oh, alright. My name is Zap This Fat Crap. I'm a star with a four on it. 147 days. Alliteration!

Dear penis. Dear penis Dear penis By the time you read this letter I will be dead It has been 14 days Put some sad Ken Burns music over this please It has been a fault not since I have masturbated Penis

I really want this to work for me. I want to feel this focus, motivation, libido, courage, etc. that so many of those other fapstronauts get. It's so unbelievably disheartening to hear so many of those dudes talk about the benefits after only one to three weeks. What benefits? Everyday brain and I fail at focusing on schoolwork. God damn it, it's a pinky in the brain thing.

You can't escape. What do you want to do tonight? Not masturbate. Their pinky in the brain? The theme song just... What do you mean, brain? They're very reluctant at that point. Their pinky in the... Oh, canceled. The theme song I don't know Brain But where are you going to find rubber pants all size Oh cancelled

Let's see So Brain and I Brain and I fail at focusing on school work Eating healthy and beginning the life we really want I've been trying to work with Brain About this whole focus slash motivation problem We've tried Adderall But you know you don't like that

I know it makes you shy. Stop shoving it in my urethra! I realize that this whole no TV thing for you is confusing. But I want to see the new episode of Game of Thrones. Oh, I get it. No TV. Yeah, see, it's pretty funny. And that's why you've been throwing up in the middle of the night. Oh, no.

No. Hey, Daddy, I've been experiencing some changes in my life. My penis has been throwing up in the middle of the night. It's like the punchline to the worst farmer's daughter joke ever. Yeah, no, I remember this reminds me of a joke that I loved in like sixth grade. Yeah. That's the, I don't know if that's the best or worst euphemism for wet dream ever. Throwing up in the middle of the night?

Your penis throwing up in the middle of the night. Anyway. It's okay. I don't know. It's okay. I don't know. It's okay. I'm not confident.

Feel free to come join Brain and I whenever you're ready. Brain and I are done with I'm going to stick my dick in my ear! It'll fit! It'll fit! It'll fit! Brain and I are done

with you settling Excuse me. Brain and I are done with you settling for pixelated titillage. We could really use your energy and motivation and await your triumphant, veiny return. Ugh.

Ugh. Ah. Ah. Ah. Maybe you can give us a libido that isn't pitiful? We still love you and believe in you. Zap in Zap's brain.

Thanks for that Zap this Vap crap. This site about not masturbating is grosser than most sites about masturbating. I know, right? There's another section that Killy Sealy's provided here, which is only... You remember Porn Kills Love

from a little while ago? Well, we have just a page that is nothing but articles submitted by Porn Kills Love. And Boots, if you'll take me through some of the titles there, please.

Oh my god, is he going to be the Patrick 82 of this? We can only hope. I think you should definitely do this in reverse. Oh, I see. Alright, so I'm porn kills love and these are the things that really matter to me.

The topics of my interest. There's the key to nofap! Four upvotes. Here's what go fuck yourself actually means. Six. Focus on work. One.

Anyone else feel like they've been drugged up their entire life? One. I've thought about going into a porn star and talking to the employees. Zero. Now, I want to stop for just a second to point something out. I believe on Reddit, I don't know if this is true of also Reddit but on Reddit if you post something you automatically get one outvote because that's like you posting

so somebody one person voted him down on that I just want to point that out any other zeros from here do not talk to porn star employees no any other zeros one person saying like nope so take a picture of yourself.

Post it on your wall. Say, I'm never going back there. One. Muhammad Ali. 55. For a nofap article called Muhammad Ali. Reddit likes themselves some Muhammad Ali. Do you think it was a recommendation

to bop somebody on the ears? Just bite it off. No, wait, that's not Muhammad Ali. Never mind. No, that's Tyson. Yeah. Your mind created that urge. Porn?

No porn. One. Porn is gay, if anything. One. Warning, descriptive language. One guy didn't like that descriptive language. Yeah, one's a zero for me. Why do we have different numbers?

Oh, somebody downvoted it while we were on this site. I think they... Oh, wow. I think... It just seems... It seems like it's random. I mean, that's... I think it's just...

Hmm. They randomize it a little bit. Well, fuck you. Good job, Reddit. Never mind. Fuck it all. All I want to do is fap right now. I got a feeling I'm not the only one. That is ten.

To the anti-no-fappers out there. Five. Is there an anti-no-fap subreddit? Why isn't that just, I mean, that's a double negative at that point. Yeah, isn't that just people who mess up? That's just porn. Wait, wait, wait, just real quickly. Pro-fappers

is a different thing. It's the people that compete in the professional fapping circuit. RC Pro Amfap. This is just the beginning of to the Anti-NoFappers Out There is, quote, NoFap is BS because it lacks scientific studies. Do you see why this statement is a fallacy? Evaluate it closely.

The key is understanding that on any issue which lacks substantial evidence on either side, the only rational thing one can ever claim is, I don't know. He said fallacy. I was waiting for John to figure out the fallacy joke in there. Oh. I'm just...

I'm participating in a group that doesn't do dick jokes anymore? No. It's like NoFap, but for dicks. How long has it been, John? Since I didn't pick up on it right then. Okay. I just started it.

I'll just wait. All right. Thanks. The last one is, I tried. Dear NoFap, I am leaving forever. Nine months ago. No more posts. Yeah, and from this, like, what was this?

This was all in one month. Okay, I'm clicking. From what I'm reading from the ten months ago. Oh, my God. I'm clicking on it, and it's just the edit. Yep. All right. So, there's a section now that Achilles Healy has in the document.

I don't know why it's called this. I don't know why there would be signs of this in the NoFap community. For some reason, this section is called Loneliness. Achilles Healy points out, there is a board on NoFap just called Loneliness. That is a dark place. All right. So, in a nutshell, I think you'll start us off here. Oh, goody.

Your name is Eric's Blue. I don't know if that is... Eric is blue. Eric owns blue. But you are a Fapstronaut. And it's not the... And a mighty phoenix. It used to be Eric's Blue Penis, but he edited it. And a mighty phoenix. Yes, yes.

It used to be Eric's blue penis, but he edited it. And it's not the women you said? It's not the women. It's the guys around me, watching me, that throw my game off and cause a disgusting combination of anxiety slash anger and hatred and a feeling of violence

which I constantly fight to ignore and which takes energy which pisses me off and a feeling of violence, which I constantly fight to ignore, and which takes energy, which pisses me off, and which are diametrically opposed to he-feelings of relaxed love, attraction, or focus. Yeah, problems are definitely something that's not you. Energy is the opposite of love? Is that the math? I'm just reading it, man. Okay.

Those are the he feelings. When I'm approaching, talking to, or hitting on a, parentheses, n. Yeah, because who could know? Who could know? Somebody should write down the rules on this shit, you know? You know. I mean, what's the word that comes after A parentheses N? Attractive. Yeah, I have no idea.

Well, you could either be talking to a singular attractive female or a singular attractive female. But that's the same thing! It starts with a vowel! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Is A a vowel today? I don't know. Is it Wednesday? Is it Thursday?

Are you feeling some feelings of violence right now? Look, Frank. You need to be considerate of the person or nothing at all that you're talking about

when using an indefinite article. Look, Frank, I'm sorry. I just, I've started something where I stopped masturbating to Strunk and White and it's just, I'm really pent up is Frank, I'm sorry. I've started something where I stopped masturbating to Strunk and White, and it's

just... I'm really pent up is all. I'm sorry. Don't do that! Really, don't! Don't do that! The elements are styled. They're so sexy. I hope you get paper

cuts. Alright, alright. When you refer to me, you use the indefinite article of blah I hope you get paper cuts. All right, all right. When you refer to me, you use the indefinite article of blah. Stop it. And that sentence, which I've completely forgotten, ends in, in a public space. Of course it does. That's most things do in your life, I assume. In a public space.

Of course it does. But that's most things do in your life, I assume. It's like I can feel them sitting there just hating. I also feel a threat. Does anyone else feel this? How do you deal with it? Paranoid schizophrenics do. Why can't people just be decent human beings?

I would never run a guy's D asterisk asterisk K in the dirt just to get a girl. And I also realize hating someone else isn't going to improve my game. Dot dot dot. What's with these guys? It is somehow like a romantic approach that gets turned into a fight

just because of the presence of these knuckleheads around? I try to ignore it, but I can't. It's really, really distracting. So every time you try to talk to a woman, it goes very, very bad, and that is the fault of other men?

Yes, it's the invisible hate race melting his boner. Oh, yeah, you're fucking psychic vampires, right? Right. Yeah, why can't psychic vampires, right? Right. Okay. Yeah, why can't guys just be decent and... Why can't all these guys just be decent and stop thinking about how terrible my dick is?

Jesus. It's really distracting. Dot, dot, dot. I imagine how much of this is just imagined. How much every guy feels this? A whole lot of it is. Is this just part of being a guy?

I really hate it. It's part of being a crazy guy. Why can't I ever just hit on a girl in peace? Because they run away screaming. Constantly. Dot, dot, dot. I feel like I'm always somehow having to look over and see who's watching me hit on a girl. Sure enough, it is always some guy sat there staring burning holes for me like he wants to kill me

just because I'm doing what he can or won't. Well, don't go out clubbing with mystery and then you'll be fine. I wish I didn't look, but the threat is real! It's sort of like being in the room with a 300-pound grizzly! No, you are the 300-pound grizzly in this situation! You're gonna make sure you feel safe! You are the threat!

No, you're gonna make sure you feel safe! I really hate this problem! God! Guys, how do you deal with this problem? Well, the thing is, guy, the reason these guys right next to you, when you sidle up to a girl, they're staring hate rays

into your skulls because you shoved right between them and then yelled at the girl, Hi, I'm not masturbating. Want to help me with that? Hey, so I see you around the coffee shop a lot and I was just wondering, hey, you! Stop thinking about my dick! I was just wondering if you wanted to go out. Hey, baby, stop judging me!

And then, Frank West, you are progressive death metal. Yeah, metal is M-E-T-T. Yeah, I'm going to test your progressive death metal. Ugh. If not being able to approach women is the biggest problem in your life, consider yourself lucky. Oh, here we go.

Sit down, popcorn, alright. My life's worse than yours. Guys that are comfortable around hot chicks generally have other things going on in their lives. What's that like? They pick up something they do for fun when they're not working or repairing something

or exercising, otherwise trying to better themselves. Doing hot curls in a muscle shirt on the beach. Revving up their motorcycles. Crushing beer cans. Wearing leather jackets. You shouldn't have to try to get woman. If you're working and making money on your own, it will come naturally.

The problem with this forum, though, is that you've got a bunch of guys that still live at home with their mothers. Oh, that's the problem. Okay. How do we solve that problem? Maybe some sort of, like, NEA endowment? Yeah, well, you want those hot...

You see those hot... You want those hot college chicks you see in the city or the subway you have to have a kick-ass job fuck you that's true well he's not not because all women are superficial gold diggers but because as a man you have to take pride in yourself and know that deep down you are invincible independent and. When you've achieved some level of success in your life and career and face true adversity, getting women will And are also Superman.

Yes. Ugh. I just looked at his name again. Jess Rotol likes his name. John, you have a response to that, right? Hi, I'm Eric's Blue. I'm this voice now.

This is still nutshell talking, actually. I don't know why she's doing this. I mean, I'm doing this because I'm nutshell. Sure. Define success. Is success working your ass off for a job and money that you might never get? My dad did that. Stressed himself out and died young.

That doesn't sound too smart to me. If people like you're talking about that put everything and define themselves by their career that they don't get, that I don't get, that...

If I have to make lots of bucks and be invincible slash that they don't get, that I don't get. If I have to make lots of bucks and be invincible slash unstoppable, which is utter nonsense, BTW, then I'm getting all the wrong kinds of if girls. They'll be gone in a heartbeat. That doesn't sound like what I want. Maybe you want it. That's cool, winky smiley face.

Hey, I'm progressive death metal again oh I really like your name it's a good one I quit I'm done this is the worst username I've ever seen on the entire podcast

I hate this thing so much well come on fucking get into a fight on nofap because that's the best place for it. I'd like to see the list of women you fucked in your entire life before you dismiss something as BS. Homeless guys on the street have probably gotten laid

left and right, and now look at them. They're broke, and women want nothing to do with them. Continue believing that pickup and hocus pocus are the answer to all of life's problems. It's clearly doing wonders for your sex life. People that look for advice on the internet are people that want to

avoid reality. They want to believe that a broke guy with personality will be able to bang any chick he wants. They can't even support themselves and they think women are attracted to that. Get a freaking clue. Why do you think Alexander keeps asking for money every second? Alexander the Great?

Alexander Graham Bell. Alexander Hamilton? All I know is that this guy's not Alexander. That's all I can tell you. Okay, okay. Unlike you, he's a go-getter that helps people. He also understands talk is cheap. Hi, I'm Nutshell again.

Hi. Hi. And apparently I'm Eric's Blue again, too. How do you do that with your voice? It's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's dynamic. Yeah, it's pretty good. You're the kind of guy I would ask to step outside for five minutes.

You know nothing about my life, bud, but you sure have projected a lot. Okay. Guys, I want to talk about a subject on

NoFap. I want to talk about a subject on NoFap in the forums slash general slash loneliness category. And it is called Creepiness. Oh, good.

We're getting to the creepiness in this episode. I was waiting for that to happen. So I took a selfie of myself. And I am Bastion. I'm a fapstronaut. I'm also a nofap supporter, which gave me this little crown.

I've got 173 thumbs up. You look like a guy who tried to be a Mark McGrath impersonator and failed. Well, what's success look like in that case? I'm sorry, is my douchiness level only at 7? Yeah, you need to dial it up, buddy. Okay. Okay. What is creepiness from a female's perspective?

Nutshell, any thoughts? Oh, I think you're off to a great start. Keep on going in that direction and you ought to hit creepy real soon. Good, I like to be living embodiments. Okay. Isn't it just misjudged intention of the person who tries to reproach the woman, period? Yeah, it's all in the woman's head. Isn't it all a matter of perspective?

Oh, God. Radiohead's creep comes to mind. I bet it comes to your mind frequently. Uh-huh. Like an over and over. I'm a weirdo. This post should have been open with your honor. What is creepiness we just don't know

your thoughts say I wanted to do something nice and wrote a novel to a stranger I liked well only if the novel is about bringing a Prometheus to life and then you die of consumption, because you're

born three centuries ago, apparently. Creepy? From her side, most likely, especially if it is about my love to her. That is a weird novel then. Strangers are creepy to begin with.

I think from a perspective of seeing people inherently bad, and a female's side. No, just, no, no, uh, just... And female's side. And the side of females. Where the question of rape is concerned. Would it be creepy from the writer's viewpoint?

A rapist wouldn't write the book. He would rape! You've never been in academia, have you? Hmm. Rapist rape, that's what I know. Ipso facto. Your honor, I never could have done this.

I wrote a book. Jesus Christ. Check out the book I wrote to her about our love. It's entitled Gravy McRapist. What? No, I didn't know it when I wrote it. So, the intentions were noble, if only clouded by hormones of love. Frank West, read that, Smiley.

How do we resolve this creepy thing? And that is punctuated, how do we resolve this creepy thing? I think that was the closest he could get to doing the little finger quote things in text. Is that... Hey, Bastion, is that the question you asked when you took that selfie? How do we resolve this creepy thing in the mirror? No, that's what Instagram responded with.

That's what Snapchat automatically put up and hit a caption underneath it. Today's first meeting. How do we resolve this creepy thing. A strange thing. Must be a defense mechanism. A boundaries thing.

Wait, wait, so you're saying women have boundaries? Uh, I mean, eventually. Like, for a while. The boundaries are usually around me. Ah, okay. Yeah, in a nutshell, I mean, consider this. for a while. The boundaries are usually around me. Oh, okay. Yeah, in a nutshell, I mean, consider this. Women have boundaries, right?

But consider this. He wrote a book. I'm not a rapist. I just imagine he's at a club and a bunch of women just, like, create, like, a rope barrier around him. Oh, shit, it's him again. Circle of wagons. That's a boundary. That's, it's him again. Circle the wagons. That's a boundary. That's a good boundary right there.

And we just need to mention that Progressive Death Metal responds with, I think creepiness is horse shit. So thanks. And then Bastion responds with, Rick Astley is never gonna give you up. So...

the internet. But, Boots, with Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. So, the internet. Good. But, Boots, you are Cryptofly. Because we go back and forth a little bit about our various kvetching about being creepy and being

considered creepy. And then Cryptofly. Cryptofly. Cryptofly. Cryptofly. I've fly. Crypto fly. I've been in this boat too, brother. Yeah. I'm creep to fly.

Crypto fly. Sorry. You're soul fly, but cryptogram. I've emailed women at my college telling them what I felt about them and I got pulled into the head

of my department's office to tell me to stop doing it. I think emails are creepy because no one can see or feel your intention. I'm pretty sure they felt your intention just fine. I think they can feel your intention

right up against their thigh. This is one time the medium wasn't the message. The message itself was a big factor, I think. They're just words, and your real intention could be anything. But it is this, so. I really does suck. Agreed! Yay!

No, no, up above that, though, the guy says that he... All in favor, say aye! Aye. The guy says he actually wrote that novel. He wrote... It was a real... He did it.

He wrote a novel. He said... How many pages? No, it was just what Cryptofly was responding to. He said, I was told to cease communication and got threatened with legal action after three polite emails asking for a reaction

to the novel I wrote. Oh, oh, oh. Wait, that's Cryptofly saying that? Okay, I was going to say Bastion. Alright, here we go. Oh my god. That's great.

When hypotheticals become reality, the F plus story. Oh, and then I was just saying, though, yeah, I really does suck that people assume the worst. But we live in a world where people can hurt others really easily. So we feel the need to protect ourselves so we feel the need to protect ourselves. We feel the need to protect ourselves from you. It's hard on people who are honest. We're the good ones,

you know. You're the good ones. Good God. I keep it real. I keep it real. Burn it all! But I'm a good person who's improving myself because I don't masturbate. That's true. That's true and never going to give you up. That's obviously the problem

in my life. And then Bastion responds, I think something's wrong here. What if we approached creepy I'm still doing finger quotes, like so many finger quotes right now from a higher perspective

say awesome maybe it's like lack of understanding of what the intention was die trying in quotes I don't agree to that yep that's

certainly awesome that's certainly awesome. That's awesome! Yeah! It's like they're classes here. Period. Dateable guys, undateable creeps. There's this border instead of a fluid scale, perhaps? I don't know how it works.

Look, I'm on the creeping spectrum. I'm not a 10, that's the important thing. God damn it. I'm not even saying that's the important thing god damn it I'm not even saying you should lower your standards I'm just saying maybe you could make your standards a gradient who would have thought there'd be so much incel spillover

into this yeah no nobody at all nobody at all I don't know how it works it's so hard to see it from a woman's perspective. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if you tried it. Is that the same thing we do when we say, she's hot, that one isn't? Confused.

Yeah, that's the same fucking thing. Yep. It's kind of terrible, too, but it's not the same terrible. Is it the same thing as another thing that makes me look awful? In that they both make you look awful, yeah. A pretty short post.

Let me put in something else shitty right at the end. I just wanted to mention a document put together by Achilles Helios. There was a document that came right on the heels of that provided by Old Zircon. On the Heelies? Yeah. Something like that.

Another document on NoFap provided by Old Zircon, which I'd like to... Both documents are going to be available on the THEFPL.us. But we are going to close with the Universal Laws of NoFap. on the FPL.us. But we are going to close with the universal laws of nofap. These are not suggestions.

These are not guidelines. These are the universal laws of nofap. The fundamental theorem of nofap. So this is what Immanuel Kant talked about, right? Yeah, so this is what binds people. Categorical fap paratives?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what binds people together. Jerical fat paratives? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is what binds people together. Jerk off onto others as you would have them jerk off onto you. So we'll go John Toast, Boots, Frank West, Nutshell, and then myself. And this is the universal laws of nofap provided by Arjun Luminasi, who has a star of four, 128 days without masturbating. and this post itself has 1,156 upvotes. Number 1.

If you start with a half-hearted attempt, you will fail spectacularly. Okay, I mean, yeah. I mean, that's not really... Spectacular failure on half-hearted attempts is not really how it works. But okay, yeah, no, you're right. Well, you haven't seen how much they come when they don't fap for an entire couple days. I'm glad that I haven't seen that. Number two, the most underrated advice is keep your hands out of your pants.

That's the only advice you're rating. If I take my hand out, like, when I take my pants off. As given by your mom to every two-year-old ever. I mean, I rarely masturbate with my pants on, to be frank. West.

Three. Great streaks were once achieved by cold turkey withdrawal. Four. The first few days are always the most difficult. Number five, entertaining a trigger will never do you any good in life. Number six,

harder, longer-lasting morning wood is a sign of your brain healing in progress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If your dick wants to come all the time, then that's great. Number six, never that's great. Number six. Never underestimate an urge.

Neither suppress nor act upon an urge. Allow it to pass through you. And when you do it over and over again, you will realize how powerless it actually is. And your self-respect will grow to epic proportions. Never underestimate an urge, because you'll realize how powerless it actually is. Urges are the little death.

Urges are the mind killer. I will allow my urges to pass through me. Seven. I'm sorry, I just wanted to go down and never suppress nor act on an urge. Right. I mean,, I just wanted to go dull and never suppress nor act on an urge. Right. I mean, I would tell these people never act on your urges.

Fair enough. They are bad urges. But how can you, like, suppressing is the only other thing you can do. I'm so confused. No, no, no, never underestimate them. All right, thanks. Okay, that's clear. Seven.

For the millionth time, wet dreams are. Never underestimate them. Alright, thanks. Okay, that's clear. Seven. For the millionth time, wet dreams are not relapsing. Doesn't count! Wash my sheets, Mom! Oh, goddammit, body, you jerked off for me. Well, now I failed. Eight. Flatlines can be very long.

Learn to be patient. You mean if you have a heart attack? I have no fucking idea what that means, honestly. Flatline? Flatlining. Many nofappers report one or more periods of zero libido during their streak, especially in the two to six week period. You're welcome. Thanks!

Oh, so, okay. Okay! I still got the glossary page open. No, no, no, useful, thank you. Number nine, the emotions might return after a few weeks of nofap. You will be irritable, no, no. Useful. Thank you. Number nine. The emotions might return after a few weeks of nofap. You will be irritable, angry, sad, and happy in a single day

because you're on Reddit. Deal with it. Goddamn hormonal men. I was trying to figure out how we ended up with Lemon at number nine. I just realized we have two number sixes. Oh! Yeah! I totally didn't even know.

Well, I guess I'll do number ten? Yeah, let's go with ten. Let's... whatever. NoFap... Well, you know, you have to get fifteen, the magic number of fifteen. Of course, yeah. The classically magic number. Number ten. NoFap will make use more... Okay, I'm gonna start 10. NoFap will make use more...

Okay. I'm going to start over. NoFap will make use more honest, assertive, confidante... That's a coffee deny. Oh, where's Ace here when he's here? Coffee deny and tolerance to assholes will diminish proportionally to the number of days of your streak. 1,156 upvotes. I couldn't parse that at all.

I don't... That's because it doesn't make sense. It was terrible English. Okay, that's what I thought. Thank you. It goes through, like, every tense. It's a time travel. What they're trying to say is you're going to be irritable from all of the not masturbating.

Number 11. Attention from women will manifest itself as more second glances, smiles, initiation of physical contact like touching, hugs. Get used to it. Hey, he's not jerking off. Is what they're saying. Get used to it. Hey, he's not jerking off. Is what they're saying? I've broken through the girls find me attractive barrier.

It's full of stars. I can see time. I stopped masturbating and my waifus finally came to life. Oscar, Oscar. This is my personal lazy town. Oh, God. Jesus. I regret that joke.

You should. I regret that joke very much. You should. Twelve. The number of fucks you give will decrease alarmingly. Literally. Thirteen. Social anxiety. will decrease alarmingly. Literally. 13. Social anxiety,

articulation of words in public talking, and body language will drastically improve proportionally to the number of days in the streak. Not apparently when you're publicly writing. Articulation of words in public talking.

That's quite a phrase. I think that was like an elective course in community college. No, it's articulation of words in public talking and body language. Frank West, I've always been very impressed by your articulation of words in public talking. Where were you schooled?

I've mostly been impressed in your articulation of words in body language. Oh, I took that class at the University of College University. I am a human who does human things. Ted Cruz for president. Number 14. As more days pass, nofap becomes easier, hyphen, but never underestimate an harmless urge.

Never ever. There's that and coming back again. Haunt me. Number 15. I felt so good after a relapse, said no man ever. Strength and honor! Yeah, yeah, because, I mean, orgasms feel terrible. Yeah. So, yeah, because, I mean, orgasms feel terrible. Yeah.

So, yeah, absolutely. What did we learn from NoFap, guys, ladies, all of us, together? I learned that guys are fascinated with their penises. I didn't know that before. And their control over their penises. I didn't know that before. And their control over their penises? Yes, exactly. This is the thing. This is a fascination with the idea of not

being fascinated with your penis. That's true. I'm really curious what Nutshell learned, though, because as the non- penis-haver... How do do you know you don't know oh hey well you got me there i think it's cool that the not religious world is stepping up to take this place of the stupid bullshit religious yeah yeah no it's cool no it's not god punishing you for

masturbation it's it's your dick punishing you for masturbation. It's your dick punishing you for masturbation. It's random creepos on the internet. Man, I don't even know. What's most interesting to me right now is that I have an advertisement for the subreddit for Ikea Hacks. What? Ikea Hacks. Steal something from Ikea. It's free now.

Mine a little while ago was Our Pizza. Learn how to make pizza. No, that's what I. Mine a little while ago was Our Pizza. Learn how to make pizza. No, that's what I've got right now, too. Our Pizza. The thing that I can't find out, either from NoFap.com or Our NoFap, is what's

the good part of this? What's the promised land? I think that it's like that whole thing where, you know, if you don't distribute your vital essences, they somehow make you stronger and more glorious, and you'll get to have sex with an actual person. Well, sort of. You'll get to have sex with a woman, and that's not an actual person, but, you know.

The idea is that masturbation is uh is is vastly inferior to sex and therefore you shouldn't do it at all because what's the point right it robs you of your vital essences i think these are also like the sort of internet people who like you know those people who are like oh you know i'm an alpha and everyone else is like a beta and like everything that matters in life is how much you bang. But, like, these are the people who don't, who believe that, but, like, don't have sex with anybody. Right, right, right.

So, like, this is the fix. This is one of the... Oh, so that's actually it, isn't it? That they don't have sex, they masturbate a lot, and they're like, well, if I could stop this whole masturbation thing, then I'd have all the sex. Right, yeah, it's not their personality, it's just the masturbation. Or maybe not even, I mean, they'll

phrase it that way, but maybe not even that they'll have all the sex, it's just, from so much of what we read, it's like if I stop masturbating, then maybe I can figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. And they never do, like, from what we read. I think it started with the people who wanted to have sex and then, like a lot of internet things, it snowballed and it's picked up, it's rolled

down the hill of internet crazy and picked up a lot of internet things, it's snowballed, and it's picked up it's rolled down the hill of internet crazy and picked up a lot of people who think that they're, like, increasing their life That's not really a hill, that's more of a mountain A series of mountains I'd just like to point out one of the top threads at this

very moment is titled, Our Dads Never Had Porn, and They're Real Men, which is a frank misunderstanding of how long pornography has been around. A misunderstanding of quite a few things. I want to read three different sentences from NoFap.com,

the sort of homepage slider. The first is a testimonial that starts, I don't hate people or objectify women anymore. That's apparently nobody on the site. Second quote is seize control of your sexuality

and turn it into superpowers today! Which I didn't know was an option. And number three is download NoFap's panic button app for iOS. Guys! There's button app for iOS. Guys! There's an app for that.

And if you want to talk about anything at all that is not your dick, come to Ball Pit. What should I do if I go to Ball Pit? What should you do if you go to Ball Pit? What should I do if I go to Ball Pit? Oh, you should register. Yeah, and then what? Yeah, and then what? Yep, what should I do if I go to ball pit? Oh, you should register. And then what? And then what? What should I do then?

I don't know. What do you want from me? Nothing. Bye! When you want me, Holly and I'll be there on time. Well, when there's what to do, send out the mighty one. Yes, when there's what to do, you better send for the mighty one. Yes, he'll stay on the job until the job is done. What did you want from me? I had no idea. I had nothing I needed. That was good.

My cat is snoring. These intros are amazing. The outros are amazing. The ads, the plugs. Yeah, if we mention one of the sites, that's all that matters. Make sure to go to ball.dog.

I'm like scrolling down this last one. Go to ball.dog! And they've got something where there's Go to it. Just remember, if you want to look at pictures of things, go to damn.pit.

Damn.pit. No, it'd be damn it. Damn it. There you go. That one's taken. Damn it is definitely taken.