The F Plus - 21a: F**kin' Podcasts: How Do They Work?

Episode Date: April 21, 2010

Juggalos are a group of people who dress up in face paint and carry plastic hatchets because they're really into a white rap group who does just that. Making fun of juggalos on the other hand is so commonplace that even Saturday Night Live is doing it now. But you're clearly mistaken if you think that's going to keep us away. This is an episode of juggalos describing themselves in their own words, and clearly it won't make any sense.

Isn't it bliss, don't you approve? One who keeps tearing around, one who can't move Where are the clowns? Send in the clowns Just when I'm... Hey there! Welcome to the F Plus Podcast. Terrible Things, Red with Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm Violent G... on.

And yeah, this is actually something that it was surprising to me that we hadn't touched on. Yeah. How much do you know about juggalos, John? Well, that's the thing. Living in Texas and especially going to middle school in Texas, I got a little bit of an amateur expert opinion on this whole juggalo thing. Is it long? No, no, no. It's simple.

It's pretty much straight up. Now, you know, living in Texas, you know a lot of rednecks. You know, they wear the cowboy boots around. They hate black people. Usually. Not all the time. Usually. Yeah.

See, the thing is, there's another type of redneck people don't know about. It's the kind that likes heavy metal and rap at the same time. And they kind of dress gangster, but they're still kind of white trash. They're that weird kind of middle where they're trying to be cool black and white. They may still be racist, but they don't say anything about it. And there's that whole demographic there that doesn't really get much coverage.

You know, the usual rednecks do. And that whole demographic found their calling, found their group to get in with ICP. Now, ICP. Now, ICP is a couple of white dudes, dress up in clown makeup,

and they do a mix of like heavy metal and rap. And this was just tailor made. I think the, I think the, as far as, I mean, granted, I've,

I've heard very little of the music, but I think it's much more in the rap angle. I don't think it's like the, you know, Limp Bizkit, like, rapping over guitar kind of thing. All right, well, okay. You may know more about the music than I do. I'll leave you that. But be that as it may,

even if it's just straight-up rap, it's still that kind of demographic of, hey, we're white and fat, but we love rap, too, and we're singing about shit. You know, it's that whole kind of, like, I can be white trash and love rap and dress up your clown makeup there there there's a new uh there's they have a new video out um they have a an album called bang boom pow which they released in the blue red and let's say green editions because apparently insane clown posown Posse releases CDs the same way as Pokemon games come out.

Yeah. So anyway, so they have a video that just came out, which is called Miracles, which is them kind of being thoughtful, and it pretty much identifies them as creationists, and it's terrific, and kind of got me sort of started on this, because if any group of people, not just bands, but if any group of people had more justification for being anti-intellectual, it would be Insane Clown Posse. Because if you have cognitive reasoning skills or thought or education,

you know you're going to hate an insane clown posse on sight. It's not like Megadeth, where you can go like, that's kind of dumb, but I still like it. If you actually have firing brain cells, you won't enjoy it. And that's supposed to be... I think that's supposed to be the good part.

Yeah, and that's the thing, is that, you know, of course, yeah, it's going to attract the people who maybe not have finished any high school or any middle school whatsoever or they they just met up in middle school and went from there but the whole thing that's really interesting about the juggalos is that you know i'm sure everybody's had the band that if not if they haven't been a rabid fan of them at least they've been you know really liked them or really

maybe joined in on some fan stuff but these people I mean when I heard about the Juggalo thing it just blew my mind because this is a real like movement like they count like the dark carnival where they talk about Shangri-La and some passing song as their religion they come together

as Juggalos it's like it is like a whole church to them a whole whole movement. It's not just a bunch of fans. This is their life. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it's very... I don't quite understand it. It's...

You know what, Lemon? You don't have to understand it right now because we're going to get into it. We're going to experience it firsthand. Alright, yeah. Let's get to the readers, and let's just sort of untangle the rotten, twisted mess that is Juggalo fandom. So, everybody, put on the clown makeup, turn up some ICP, and just drink in the Faygo that is the love. Here we go, y'all!

Yeah! In the room tonight, we have Acey Rockawaddle. Man, I am all magic. Fuck you. Boots Reingear. Magic everywhere in this bitch. Buddy Brad. Y'all motherfuckers lying and getting me pissed. Solar eclipse and vicious weather.

Fifteen thousand jungles together. Jack Dick. Crows, ghosts, the midnight coasts The wonders of the world Mysteries the most Sean Shaggy's little boys look just like Shaggy And my little boy looks just like Daddy

Yay Kumquat I don't wanna talk to a scientist Why is that Kumquat I don't wanna talk to a scientist. Why is that, Kumquat? Why not? Is it because... Because... Because...

Y'all motherfuckers lying and getting me pissed. Dog! I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco Bay. It tried to eat my cell phone. He ran away. And lemon. Plant a seed, and nature grows. I call this flower nature, and this flower nature, and this flower nature, and this flower nature

and this flower nature and this flower nature and this flower nature. I seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. Miracles ain't nothing to lie. Oh, God! Nobody did! I seen shit that'll shock your eyelids.

I didn't want to go for the low-hanging fruit there. Lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon. Can I ask you a really important question? Yes. Fucking magnets, how do they work? Water, fire, air, and dirt. Fucking magnets, how do

they work? And I don't want to talk to a scientist. Y'all motherfuckers flyin' and gettin' me pissed Solar eclipse and vicious weather Fifteen thousand juggalos together And I love my mom for givin' me this time On this planet, take nothin' for granted I seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly Miracles, ain't nothin' to lie

Shaggy's little boys look just like Shaggy And my little boy looks just like Daddy Miracles, each and every way you look So I want to know if a juggalo can be a raver and a juggalo simultaneously. Damn. That's deep. Can a juggalo rave and still have clown love? My friend wants to know because he thinks that if he raves, that he's not a Juggalo and that he's something else. I thought he was BQS. Necro-G, best answer.

There's mad ninjas who rave. Ninjas can do whatever they want. You can be a Juggalo and polka and line dance, lol, as long as you got love and beliefs are the same it doesn't matter I know grips of juggalo ravers necro g myspace.com slash nekrog sources being a juggalo

over 10 years damn and neckface responds oh jesus uh thanks ninja mmf wcl whatever the fuck that means. Maybe it's... I bet I know what it is.

Male motherfucker with clown love. Yeah! It's actually much motherfuckers with clown love. Damn, they updated the slang. I can't compete. Ninja, you behind. Juggalos

don't rave. With those parachute pants, you look silly. As it says while applying the clown makeup. I walk around in dreadlocks covered in manic panic and clown paint all over my face, and you look silly with those big pants.

I have four separate nose piercings, but you look dumb. Man, you got pants on. What the fuck is up with that shit? Fucking rainbows, pants. You know everybody who's legit wears shorts to show off your paper-white legs. This one is only for ICP fans. No haters, don't answer.

Which I think is a small tip. No woman, no cry. Well, then how can we talk about it then? Yeah. Alright, Nicole. Break it down for us. ICP fans, no haters don't answer.

The Insane Clown Posse is going to be coming out in March. Bing boom pow! New edition CD. Isn't that the name of the Black Eyed Peas CD too? I hope so, because I love the overlap of horrible music. Their CD is called The Insane Cloud Posse

is going to be coming out. No haters, don't answer. I was going to do a mashup with an ICP song and a Black IP song and I could not come up with one of either. And then I got very happy. Nuclear Edition CD with three discs, one is the entire first

red version. The One is the entire first red version. The second is the bonus songs and the picture booklet has all the pictures plus two never-before-seen photos plus the Dakota piece that is wicked and the third disc is an even-included music video for the old piece and miracles and juggle-gathering documentary.

Now I wonder, here's the question. Parse that. Is the documentary going to be the one that was on DVD not that long ago? A Family Underground! Because it's not worth buying

if you have all three versions of Bang Boom Power Cities on DVD. So you say. Here is the news link. Additional details. My bad, bang boom, bang pow boom. Sorry for the mishap.

Mufugablu. That is actually how they greet each other. What's up, mufugablu. What's up, mufu.le? What's up, muffle? That's because that's how you sound like when you've got a mouthful of fucking donuts. And fago. Yeah.

Buzz, you dip the donuts in the fago. Right. Well, otherwise, how are you going to get the diabetes? All right. I'm a destroyer of dumbasses, and I have a firm grasp on the Canadian legal system. Well, I like ACP okay, but I never buy music. I live in Canada, so we can legally download stuff free

because of tax on recordable media. I'm also in my second year of law school. That is actually partially true. It's partially true, but it's entirely wrong. Yes. Wait, how can it be those things? In the

Juggalo law biz, we call that a loophole, dog. So I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm going to have to go run up to Canada not just to get prescriptions anymore. This is a logic problem. The way it works is that you can legitimately copy an album that you have on tape. On tape.

I think you can also do CDs. So if you burn it straight, if you have something and you copy it to a CD, you're okay. You're allowed to do that. That's it. But your question was an advertisement instead of a question. Not that that's bad or nothing.

You see, the thing was we pay a fee on recordable media on blank CDs and DVDs, that goes back into the recording industry to account for lost sales due to... Due to mixtapes. Yeah, due to mixtapes. Okay, so no matter what, Destroyer of Dumbasses is pretty good legal counsel, right? Because I'm looking for some. Yeah. I'm joking! okay so no matter what destroyer of dumbasses is pretty good legal counsel right because i'm looking for some yeah yeah i was i was just a dumbass well he he only likes icp okay though so i wouldn't think he he really knows jugger law all that well yes anybody else know jugger law that was a hilarious he's a down ass jugger lawyer Juggalo. Yes. But they not know Juggalo.

That was a hilarious joke. He's a down-ass Juggalo-er. That was a hilarious joke. I Juggalo-ed. Oh. Oh. Man, you co-opted John there. I know. So is anybody else...

I'm mad both at the joke and that I did not think of it. Alright, so our last Yahoo answers we have here. This is a find. This is the end of the community. What I have here are the 13 Juggalo commandments. Oh, shit. Yeah.

I don't... I assume they're not written on stone. I think it would be more like Domino's pizza boxes. Yes. But, yeah, there we go. And what are the 13 Juggalo commandments? I am trying to find out the 13 Juggalo commandments. Juggalo commandments.

Thou shalt always holler a whoop whoop to let thy neighbor know you're around. Number two. Thou shalt not take the Dark Carnival's name in vain

else shall ye head slitheth. What the hell? No, it says vain, else shall ye head slitteth. What? Slitteth? No, it says, else shall have ye head slitteth. It's very clear. How does that happen? It's slitteth.

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Numbers with a slither head. Always stay true to thy family as they shall be true to you number four thou shalt not base ye shite, wicked, and wild. Well, we just had diarrhea with chili peppers. Shite!

You have to always eat Taco Bell. Well, you know what? I just tossed some plastic bottle vodka into the Faygo, so that commandment's kept. All right. I'm going to get gut rot for the juggalos, man. Number six.

If called a freak, crazy, psycho, or deranged, etc., thou shalt raise both middle fingers and say thanks. Also, freak, crazy, psycho, or deranged,

etc. is in one quotation, so you have to be called that exact thing. So you're actually freak, psycho, crazy, or deranged, etc. No salute. And you know, when you go to the bank, you should do the same thing, because that's how you get a jugalone. Oh, God.

There we go. But is it jugalone? It doesn't matter, because you'll never qualify. That was terrible. Number seven. Thou shalt keep ye hatchet sharp and ready for haters. Number eight, if thou be a true juggalo slash let, thou shalt always represent with pride.

Pride. Pride. And dignity, too, I'm sure. Because when I see juggalos, that's what I think, pride. Pride. And dignity too, I'm sure. Because when I see juggalos, that's what I think. Pride. Exactly. Number nine. Thou shalt not pass judgment, spelled wrong, on another, lest it is passed on you first.

Because juggalos can travel through time. Yes. You judged me. Now I'm going to judge you in the past. you first. Because juggalos can travel through time. Yes! You judged me! Now I'm going to judge you in the past! No, no, they're very clear. There's something mystical about juggalos that if they pass judgment, the person they're passing judgment on travels back

in time to make their judgment. It doesn't have to be another juggalo. They've got a time-traveling car. Haven't you ever heard of the juggalorian? Oh, Jesus. Get off of the show! Boo! Boo! Hey, my hat's

sharp over here, y'all. Y'all better hang back. Somebody just opened the fucking gates on John here. He's like, yeah, it's over, fuckheads. He actually slipped a couple by without booze, and now he's all excited. Yeah, I'd like to apologize

for allowing this to happen. Number ten. Thou shalt always keep a blunt rolled and a beer ready for thy homies. Number 11. Hey, guess what you should call the beer.

Oh, no, I don't want to guess. I don't want you to tell me either. It's gonna be Juggalugger. I know this. Damn it! You win this time, buddy. Take it with Budweiser. I figured you were gonna go for some Michelob joke. Anyways. Number

11. Remember, if thou art faketh, we shall breaketh thy star, star, star in half. You can kiss my star, star, star. No, you'll only get one and a half stars. Yeah, I'll just have two one and a half stars.

That's not good for anything. Three out of four stars. Number twelve. We are not against the world. The world is against us. So remember to keep them middle

fingers ready. So when there's the armed insurrection of the intellectuals versus the anti-intellectuals, we'll have guns, but they'll be flicking us off. Yeah, but they'll have magnets. Number 13. Be what we want to be. Act how we want to act.

See what we we wanna see. Steal lyrics from the digital underground. So you mean rule number 13 invalidates all the other rules? Pretty much. So it could have just been one. Do whatever the fuck you want.

Sources! Yahoo answers! And he lists some other fucking Yahoo Answers so let's see where are we on to next oh yes the Juggalo the Juggalo Holocaust oh beautiful

I went to that museum it's a really sobering experience that makes up for your previous ones you may stay That makes up for your previous ones. You may stay. Hey, you got your jug of highs, you got your jug of lows, you know. Boom. Now you have to leave.

You did it. So, this is a site called Land of the Band. I don't understand it at all. It seems like where a whole bunch of people yell at each other, like trolls trolling trolls or something. Preston Van Zandt, another homo Texan wigger.

Because there's only two. Both are on the podcast. The other one. Oh, it's so good. Oh, wow. Preston, Juggalo Holocaust, what a bunch of bullshit. one. Oh, it's so good. Oh, wow. Press Juggalo Holocaust. What a bunch of bullshit.

They are trying to kill us all. They will not stop till they have us exterminated and then they will not rest until, and I quote, the race known as Juggalos is killed off. What the fuck? And their reason... And their reason is killed off. What the fuck? Or be it mocked whoop.

And their reason is because of crimes committed by juggalos. Well, I got news for y'all. Every race and every culture and subcultures have criminals in some sort of them. So you plan on

killing us all because a few juggalos go out and kill, beat, and rob people because it's somewhat promoted in our music? You know, I'd like to point out that there has never been an otherkin murderer. Well, not on the closet otherkins, though. Yeah, and you say that, but you're only thinking of this plane. You know, there's a lot that goes on on the other side that you don't know about. Maybe not the human form, but the dragon form is filled with thousands. Yeah.

In the spiritual realm, I'm the dragon version of Pol Pot. Oh, God. It's not me. It's the other kid. Oh god, I just... Oh god, I was just so mad. There's fake... There's invisible dragon blood everywhere. Please come over. Thornblade. Oh god, Thornblade, why? My real

astral name is Juggalino Shay. It's catching on. Rappers promote murder and crime in their music why are you not stopping and killing the people who listen to rap or death metal up yours

is this just some poor sad group of people that have nothing better to do but make fun of, kill, beat up, and even torture these young people that have had others doing the same thing to them all their lives. Period.

Every jungler was once either a scrub or an ass. Once. But now they're a beautiful butterfly. I couldn't get me any love from Lisa Left Eye Lopez. Every

juggalo was once either a scrub or an outcast that no one liked and just needed a place to fit in. Juggalos are one of the most hated groups of individuals on the earth next to atheists which i what do those two have to do with each other at all well well look at a juggalo and tell me there's a god.

Yeah, one leads to the other, really. He's mad because Christians get their persecution complex and he just wanted to ride. Being a junglo is just like being a normal person. Since when? No, it isn't. No, it isn't.

We are just the same as everyone else. The only difference that we have is that us juggalos are the outcasts of society. We're like other people except for other people don't accept us.

The foster children of the common people. We are the people that no one wanted to be around and everyone looked down upon. When we found a place that we could fit into, when we

found the only people that could speak to us, you come along and decide to dispose of us again. Keep going, keep going. Only behind the paint is the true nature of this Juggalo Holocaust.

They cast us out and when we fight back, they try to kill us and blame it on the music and gang activity. I wonder if the Juggalo Holocaust is going to result in any Juggalo soap being made. They certainly have a lot of fat. That would be really weird. That would be ironic that anything from Juggalos would lead to soap of any kind.

Soap from the only person. of any kind. Soap from the only person. Truly, it's because we are making a statement that we will not be just the black sheeps of society or second-class citizens, but we will make a whole

new image and statement. Make sure it's a dumb one. It was people like the JH members that cast us out and made us into what we are. I think that they are scared of what they created and man's first instincts are to destroy

what they're afraid of. They've been persecuted through all of history. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm positively terrified of Juggalos. I mean, they... I don't know about you guys, but I'm positively terrified of Juggalos. I mean, there's too much to make fun of. I don't even know what to say. What are they going to do, roll their trailer up to my fucking house and blast annoying music at me? We'll walk up to you and go, woot, woot.

That's true. Their middle fingers are at the ready as well. Yeah, most of them have at least one middle finger they could use on you. And they've got a hatchet. So at least you're set if you need some firewood cut. First they came for the juggalos and I had nothing to say because I had my

middle fingers up, y'all. Yeah, yeah! We will not hide like freaks. We will come out of the Yeah, yeah! Woo! Woo! We will not hide like freaks. We will come out of the dark and we will rise up. You want to form a group against juggalos to wipe us out? Well, just like it has always been, it's us against the world. But we will never back down.

Kill us all. For that is the only way we will never back down. Kill us all. For that is the only way you will ever stop us. Who we are is what we truly believe in. We take in the music that relates to us and we make it into something more. It's not brainwashing.

It's how we truly feel inside and the psychopathic slash strange Mac music bands and artists speak to us in no other way that anyone has before. That's because other people try to use English. And you all want to kill us for basically being just like you

with our own image and little twist to it, OWNED! He backs it up with a trilogy of smileys here. There's a smarmy smiley that is pointing at a piece of paper,

there's a really happy one that's clapping, and then there's a nonplussed one hitting a button that says OWNED. I believe the one that's pointing to the then there's a nonplussed one hitting a button that says owned. I believe the one that's pointing to the piece of paper may be the Juggalo lawyer in this case, because he's trying to get some sort of signature, maybe, or

this is a group here. You want some meth? You signed this contract. The second one is a Juggaloddience member. I see. The smarmy spiley is actually pointing to Obama's birth certificate. To all JH members,

know this, you are slowly starting a war, and not a fake war like in your blog on Land of the Banned, but a real war. A war that will probably end with you making us out to be the ones who started it all. You already won.

Well done. You're the one that started it all. It's like the war on obesity, but it's backwards. Michelle Obama is just like, I got my work cut out for me. Well, like I said, we are

used to being pushed around, and the more you push, the stronger and more radical slash crazy we become. We will not fall, and we will not fall, and we will not be scared by bullshit on the web. Oh, God. Yahoo has such terrible graphic design.

If you really want to start a holocaust, then you start stepping up and try attacking the people we follow. Try and kill our music icons and get ready for war because Juggalos will find you. Oh no! That is the weirdest threat I have ever read

in my life. Don't attack us, attack somebody else and then we'll attack you. You know, I really support their armed revolution because I really want to see Juggalo boot camp. All right, everybody just do one fucking push-up. Just one. Okay, half a push-up. Oh, the hell with it. No, no. You see, I think that Mr. Preston Van Zandt actually happens to be a devotee and studier of the First World War. And so he's sort of saying, like,

if you assassinate Franz Ferdinand, we're going to come on up after you. Well, okay, not the band, though. You can kill them. One way or another, the Prussians are going to get you. I'm so excited for you to kill one of the terrible musicians

I listen to. Well, you better hope the police get to you first before us juggalos do. I knew Kenran, but you can't hide forever. Long live juggalos! Juggalo 666, a.k.a. Juggalo PVZ, Juggalo's HQ site founder, up yours. That was, yeah, that was insane. I am the definition of murder. The night is now coming to serve you.

You're running, but you can't go no further because I'm running through you with no sign of inertia. with no sign of inertia. What the shit was that? I want Stog to sing all of the posts from now on. Alright. Okay, next thing I have here is just a single thread. It is something called Topics, which I hadn't heard about. Yeah. So this is Topics.

You're cracking this up at page number 23. There are 51 pages. And it's just the topic of Slipknot Sucks Ass. All right, yes, so let's take it away, Metalhead. Here is Metalhead. You rule, dude, I agree. Slipknot rules, metal all the way. If you're 5-5-5, then I'm 6-6-6.

I'm 6-6-6! I'm 6-6-6, guys! I'm Mike from Raleigh, North Carolina. They're perfect. Possessive. They're perfect. They have good instrumentals, along with decent vocals. They don't

scream too much, but they aren't soft. They can change it up with The Blister Exists to Vermilion Part 2 to Circle. They cover a wide range of song tempos.

Really like Volume 3, the best, but like a lot of songs from previous albums. Who gives a flying fuck about their masks? best, but like a lot of songs from previous albums. Who gives a flying fuck about their masks? Just listen to their songs. Stop bitchin'. I'd rather not listen

to their songs. That was the most intelligent Pitchfork review I've ever read. Brent DiCrescenzo. Rating 6.83. I don't hate Slipknot. It's just that they're so overrated, and it makes me want to be a hater.

Thanks, Edith. I don't want to hate them, but look how they're dressed. People, Slipknot is music. Mushroom Head is music. Hatebreed is music. Slayer is music. Crownot is music. Mushroomhead is music. Hatebreed is music. Slayer is music. Crowbar is music. None of these bands have anything to do with each other.

Every fucking band in metal industry have one thing in common, to create something that's going to unite people as one. Right, you know, because... He's just talking about... There totally wasn't like a sub-set of metal that was designed to alienate the crowd. That didn't exist.

I just love how this is pressing every one of Jack's buttons here. I'm just going to sit back and watch him rant. Yay. The Henry Collins of metal opinions on the internet. And while you write about how much you love or hate Slipknot, metal industry is falling apart because of new age music like frickin' pussycat dolls.

Oh god, I only pray for a chance to cut their fucking heads off. So save metal. Save metal. Dude, dude, man, you know what? Hatebreed is so so lame now. I'm gonna go listen to some

Pussycat Dolls. Yeah. The real attrition of metal fans is coming from the Pussycat Dolls. So I know that I'm sort of the only I'm the only metal fan here, but I don't know if you guys know this. Metal is actually going through somewhat of

a revival right now, and there's way more being produced now. I didn't bother explaining sports, you know. Fuck you! Nobody cares! Nobody cares! Yeah, Jack Check, stop rambling and start reading Bill Cosby. All right, I'll read Bill Cosby here.

Slipknot! With the slippin' and the nottin' and the coo-coo-coo-choo! Their music is blacker than madballs, and sure as hell don't deserve all the big fanbates. Zip, zap, zippity-bop! Wow. I wonder how

many times that guy has posted that persona. The theory of relativity. Goo goo be jello. I like Kodak film. The more you hate Slipknot, the more Slipknot will last. You see, hate is the only thing that keep this machinery alive.

Oh, those are my favorite lyrics. Yeah, they're by the Pussycat Dolls. I like it. Hate is the only thing that keep this machinery alive! Okay, guys. Are you ready? Yeah, do it. I don't think you're ready. I'm ready. Wait, wait, guys. Are you ready? Yeah, do it.

I don't think you're ready. I'm ready. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Clit Cunt is an incredibly gay band that licks the semen off of Lance Bass's

dickica every night because they think it tastes like Rocky Road ice cream covered in semen and sprinkles. Seriously, that is how gay lovers decide who they're going to be with.

That tasted like strawberry. No, that was more like tutti frutti, thank you. Yeah. Good luck next time. Wow. And just the beginning, too, like, I'm gonna call him Slipknot. Maybe I'll call him, like, Clit Knot. Oh, wait.

Fucking Slipknot. Come on, think, Rips429. Come on. How can I do this? How can I do this? How can I do this? I got it! Click, cut! Whoever said Slipknot is metal? Slipknot is classic rock and pop rock with harsh vocals.

They do sound a lot like Boston, yeah. Yeah. Slipknot is just plain terrible. No talent whatsoever. Dang. Hey, do y'all see the ad

off to the right that advertises Slipknot ringtones? Don't tell me that guy doesn't look like Michael Jack-off-son. Jesus! Burning on everybody. Wow! This is where the Republicans test their insults.

Michael Jackson? More like Michael Jack-Opson. Anybody see those advertising for clit, cut, ring, tones? Fuck. Juggalo Jake? Yeah. You're an idiot. In other posts you try to sound like you know something,

but you're just an idiot, idiot. The voice matches up with the face so well. That'll be $5.89 for your Big Mac meal. Pull around, stupid. Jake, you're a loser. You apparently like ICP. Also, since you're a juggalo, I used to like ICP, but then something happened.

I grew up. ICP has no talent whatsoever, but they're smart. They manipulate people. Fucking magnets. How do they work? I didn't read that wrong. I kept thinking, I must have read that right. They manipulate people into ballet-ving the crap they say, which is

why they do so well. They're just like Slipknot. Talentless, but smart. They both create ridiculous images, which makes them stand out from everybody else, since they can't do it musically. My point? Find some real music, and get a life!

You are full of hate. Freak, define loser. And I'll cast the one different than you The ones who left because you felt you needed to Grow up Personally, sure, maybe I am a loser Maybe I'm different And find my pleasure in music that I choose I'm a juggalo

So I don't believe that ICP manipulates Let's just say they do So Juggalos are not ICP My family are those who get the crap from society You do well for yourself Congrats That's what those are you little faggot

I help my family cause they help me I'm honest to my family There's no separation for me Don't make the mistake of thinking that maggots are any different Sure maggots don't hang out as much. But when it comes to it, a person's ass can get easily beat if they just insult us.

The computer holds so much safety. No, I'm not threatening you. Why? Just don't go out in the street if you see a 6'2", 265 pound guy just go by. It just might be me. And just don't buy. Alright? It just might be me. And I don't give a jack shit.

I'll be creating a blog sometime soon. Real ass blog on the street. Straight talk, bitch. I'll be creating a blog sometime soon and I hope you visit it nice to meet you I feel superior to this asshole because I've got a podcast

I'll invite you even ask for having a life you as well are an idiot you don't know me and I'm not your friend man this guy has this guy has advertising down. Man, you suck. I fucking hate you.

You're stupid. Also, read my blog sometime. I'm going to beat your ass. Short of that, I'm going to make a website. All right, all right, Jack. Give it to us again. You are full of hate!

Haha. Are you calling yourself a fat ass, Jake? I'm not scared of any of your homies. And I think that you're exaggerating your size. No, I don't think so. Plus, what the hell would you be doing in my town? You live in Arkansas. Also, do you have Down Syndrome?

Because you really look like you do, you ugly dog-faced bastard. Oh, snap. Damn. Lived in Liberty for a few years, man. Attended Harden High School. You say I have Down Syndrome? Arkansas is a-

Alaska is a... Dumbass never claimed to need help. Should I encounter you? I'll be moving back to Texas in four months, though. I know exactly where Carlton is. Not that I'm going to bother making that sort of contact. I'm only saying there's more people like me in Texas,

only a little more defensive and passionate. That's actually kind of true. Now, stop being naive. What were you saying in regards to slip-out sucks? I believe I was in the middle of proving something wrong before I was distracted by the likes of you. This guy does the weirdest threats. I'm going to kick your ass.

Not that I'm threatening you, but I'm going to kick your ass. I probably won't, but somebody like me will. All right, we're going to keep this going. So probably won't, but somebody like me will. All right, we're going to keep this going. So what if I don't know all the state abbreviations? That means nothing. I simply said you look like you have Down syndrome. And if you want to come hunt me down, go ahead.

If you don't have the balls to do it, that's fine too. Now let's stop arguing and insulting and get back to Slipknot. They suck. Oh, we can all bond. Got your ass beat once you left the ring? That's fine. I accept your admission of defeat. Don't copy one of my statements again. Get your own material.

Quit half-assing and start a talk with me. And start studying your argument with me, Vince. Wow. You are a tard. He's trying to get back on subject and prove his point. Yet once again, you try to reverse the main idea so it suits you. What? Yes, that's what you said. You were right. BTW, slip-cont sucks. The best one yet.

Oh, man. I like that either syllable for slip-not is interchangeable with the word cunt. Such a childish idiot dares retort to me yet again. You learned that you've had enough, by all means, if you wish to carry on with the personal insults, I'll give you my damn email address. Live in Burleson for a while, if I... What a gangster.

Why does he keep clarifying where he lives? Where he lived. He's like, motherfucker, I live in your miserable... I live in some place and you live in some other place and I'm bad. And I'm going to kick your ass. Probably not. But, you know, maybe someone who's more offended than me will. Yeah, but I'm not kicking your ass.

Read my blog. What a gangster. Lived in Burleson. You're a big man now fat ass try to get on the subject and say that you beat my ass once again you are nowhere near carolton jackass you can't beat my ass even if you're bruce fucking lee now you're one of the greatest names for gay men ever made. Now, you horrid, ugly, suicidal bastard, let's get back on topic once again. Slipknot sucks ass.

Please reply to the final statement this time, douchebag. Include an ass. Seriously, man, put a bag over your head. You look like you got your ass kicked by an anvil. I'd like to interrupt very briefly to point out that I've got some advertisements for Slipknot videos. Learn how to cast on using a Slipknot before you start knitting.

Wow. I see. On topic. Wait, is it Slipknot videos or Slipkunt videos in this case? Slipkunt videos or slipkunt videos in this case. Kunt-kunt videos. Fucking fag fuck. Fuck.

Shit balls. There's some more creative names from Rips429 coming up. I feel like I'm arguing in character as a character from Idiocracy. But isn't Disturbed kind of the same as Shitnut? I understand your anti-slipknot position,

but BMFV? Korn? What the hell? You want metal? Try freaking Pantera, the most badass metal band of all time. More badass than the old Metallica. Oh, I just threw up some horns

right over here. Even more badass. The badass-o-meter is really up there. Yeah! Yeah! And there we go. That is, in fact, a full episode's worth of Insane Clown Posse F-plus material. And in fact, and this might surprise you, this is not as much as we have. We have

in fact an entire episode more worth of this. What happened? We were reading, and we were reading, and we were reading, and it was continually funny, and it was continually great, and we just wanted to keep going, and we ended up with two different episodes worth of material.

So what we're going to do, we're going to call this one the end of the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. And then we'll come back with a second episode in the very new future of the second part of this reading. We come back to the Slipknot Sucks thread because more crazy shit happens in the thread. Then we move on to Insane Clown Posse fan dating. Yes, it's called Juggalove.com. And our third thing is fan fiction. I actually found Insane Clown Posse fan fiction about those two clowns.

And they don't have sex, I'm sorry, but they do go to hell, so that's fun. So we'll be back at you very soon with part two of the Insane Clown Posse extravaganza. In the meantime, the website, thefpl.us. Thanks for listening. See you soon. Bye-bye. I try, but in this lonely room I cry The tears of a clown, when there's no one around Now if there's a smile on my face Well don't let my glad expression Give you the wrong impression

Don't let this smile away Make you feel that I don't care The tears of my tone The tears of my tone I'm going on and on The tears of my tone The tears of my tone Even by juggalo naming rituals, you know, like

Insane Clown Posse and Twisted and Cottonmouth Kings, even with that, Blaze Ya Dead Homie is just a shitty band name. Well, but you do need to get your dead homies high. I don't think you understand. Pouring out 40s on the floor,

that isn't enough anymore.