The F Plus - 232: Myers' Frigs

Episode Date: November 13, 2016

According to the Washington Post, roughly 2 million people a year take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. And according to A Number I Just Made Up, 66% of those were administered by people who work in corporate HR departments, habitually doing the voice of the boss from Office Space, like she's making fun of that mentality, except she's actually saying the thing she's pretending she's mocking and it's not funny, Linda. Anyway, by having you answer a series of questions, the Myers-Briggs Quiz has been studiously designed, researched and reported to most accurately tell you which character from the Harry Potter Universe you are. And of those, the people who scored INTJ (or Severus Snape) seem to be the most excited about their results. So, here we go to Reddit to read INTJs bragging about themselves and complaining about everything else. This week, The F Plus Gangbang isn't that serious.

Hello there! This is Lemon. This episode is about a community on Reddit formed over a common Myers-Briggs score, and they have a lot of opinions about their own superiority. It's fun. You're gonna like it. Just before we get to that, though, I'm going to say that the F+, finds our own niche in reading the words of weird people. It's what we've done, and it's what we'll continue to do because it's fun for us. We're never fair in our portrayals, but it's our approach of presenting the world that we live in. We read what they want the public to know,

we make our own jokes, and we stop there. Because anything after that is abuse, and that behavior is unethical and destructive. We want people to be happy. Which is a weird thing to feel the need to say out loud, but we can recognize things in others that we find appalling

and still want them to live contented lives free of harassment. And to you listening to this right now, I think that you think that too. But if you think that tolerance for others is a political view that shouldn't be shared, fuck you. And I couldn't mean that more. Fuck you and unsubscribe from this podcast immediately, because I am not interested in hearing your counter-argument against a level of compassion for others that you should have learned in kindergarten. For everyone else, enjoy the show! You were alone Could you see my eyes? Congratulations on finding us on the internet.

This is the F Plus Podcast, a very intelligent place for terrible things, read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. Often INTJs are described as chess players, seeing the world as a chess game. However, I personally don't like chess. Frank West?

I don't know if you all are the same or not, but I feel as if I'm smarter than a majority of the population. Achilles' Elies! Most of my shoes are now loafers, because shoelaces are for suckers. Bored, Dex! I'm not sure if I'm a know-it-all, or if they just can't

accept that I'm right. From Lou Rees the Internet for you, it's Lou Fernandez. If I had three wishes, one of them would be to not have to excrete waste anymore. Without becoming ill as a result, of course. And Lemon. I don't view sex as a goal, more like a bonus feature. DLC, if you will. Depends on what game you're playing, I guess.

Woo! Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Shut up. Already? Why are you so aggressive towards me, Portax? Because you're going to give us something horrible to read. It's going to make me very angry.

I'm not going to give you anything horrible to read. Of course not. All I want to do is talk to you about your feelings and your personality and the kind of person that you are. That's all I want to do. I'll give it a shot. I shouldn't be so judgmental. I think you should give

it a shot, absolutely. Portex, would you say that you're introverted or extroverted? Super duper introverted. I never speak to anyone unless they screw me in my face for at least 15 hours. Okay, okay. So how's the Scientology cult working out for you? My thetans love it.

So we are going to talk today about a fascinating and not at all stupid thing that corporations do, which is the Myers-Briggs test. God damn it. What? What? Just talking about the differences between people. That's all. Proceed.

Takes a rainbow. Yeah. So the Myers-Briggs test is... Has anyone ever done one? Yes. Okay. How many questions did you get when you did it? There was like 40. 40 questions?

There was like 40 multiple choice questions. Okay. That's probably enough. Yeah, yeah. That defines who you are as a human being. Yeah, define my personality. Right. All 40 facets of our personality.

Yeah, so the Myers-Briggs test, once you do however many questions there are, there's a bunch of different kinds of tests, it will then assign you a four-letter code. So it's introverted versus extroverted, feeling versus thinking, some other shit. Peanut butter versus jelly, chicken versus biscuits. i got i got uh

esfm okay great which stands for uh extroverted sensing freddie mercury buddy you're a boy um so uh big noise yeah yeah so um today uh we are going to be talking about one specific Myers-Briggs rating, and that is INTJ. And the fun thing about INTJ is that if you put a R slash in front of it, you get a Reddit community. All 16 possibilities also do the same thing. I would assume so. So we've got future episodes lined up, buddies. We'll see how this one goes. Infinite

neutered toe jam? It's introverted, intuiting, thinking, judging. Ooh, judging. That never happens on Reddit, so this is going to be weird. This is a document put together by Cheapskate. Thank you so much for that.

And Frank West, I think if you'll start us off here, part one of this document Cheapskate has entitled, I'm the Best. I'm the best! And what is the topic of your post? Wanted 18-21

F. INTJ slash ENTJ to build AI and robots. I am a... Oh, sorry. My username is slightlycyborg. I just have a bit of cyborgism. You know, on my father's side.

I am a 23-year-old male from Portland, Orr, who loves... Sorry, who lives in Knoxville, Tin. I have been planning and working towards taking over the world by building intelligent humanoid robots that will automate humanity's basic needs, like proteins do for cells. I am looking for an INTJ slash ENTJ woman with similar goals

who wants to align with me and work side by side. I'm looking for a pinky for my brain. So, Reddit, what would you like to do tonight? I felt like the best place to find females was on Reddit. I need an

INTJ, an ENTJ, or an IGOR. Either way, it's fine. Solid. Solid. Nice. Proposed responsibilities as partners. Bullet point one, consistent daily work towards project deadlines after

other income responsibilities. Bullet point two, weekends spent working full-time towards project deadlines. Bullet point three, weekly video chat summing up achievements and problems in the week. We'll just call. There's a per minute fee for this

webcam chat. Hot INTJs in your area. And finally, daily email check-ins equivalent to swapping off our checked to-do list for the day preferably you have a track record of building artificial neural networks and reading cognitive neuroscience books in your free time preferably i want to build an android preferably you know how to build an android i don't know i mean i hope you do. First bullet point. Because I'm looking for a partner on Reddit.

You've already built. You have a track record of building artificial intelligences. You've already built them. And now you want to help me on the Internet. Makes perfect sense. I am long past setting my plan into motion, and I need to find this diamond of a woman before time runs out. PM me if you want to learn more.

I took a dark turn. If it's about building the robots, why does it have to be a lady, I wonder? I'm confused. Because the robots are going to kill all the other humans. Because when you're the last two humans left on Earth, you're going to have to repop humans left on earth you're gonna have to repopulate the species dummy oh and uh lou uh your name unfortunately is electric fistula of course reply by electric fistula is this about your children being intelligent humanoid robots? Or are you trying to combine world domination, dating, and AI research?

If it is the latter, maybe sharing details regarding your qualifications or approach would help? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I have a billion bullet points. What are just a few of your bullet points, though? Well, I started learning computer programming on my own free time at high school. I built my first robot out of a shoebox when I was in the sixth grade. Read the point. A diamond in a diamond box, you are. Read the point that begins with after experimenting.

After experimenting with pneumatic humanoid muscles, I have decided to combine the open source design of this humanoid with the XKCD comic Star Wars BB-8 robot. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.

What else? Is there a bullet point underneath that one? I have talked with Randall, writer of XKCD and the Robot Studio, who have both been gracious enough to provide me with design files and tips. Mm-hmm. Cool. What else?

I am on track to complete the humanoid BB-8 hybrid by December, which is the release of Star Wars. So is it going to have, like, a man body and a giant BB-8 for a head? That's definitely on DeviantArt already. Whee! Or it's like, I've created the spherical human. Now I can go on Reddit and post a lot. That's definitely on DeviantArt already. Whee! Or it's like, I've created the spherical human. Now I can go on Reddit and post a lot. And then, I'm assuming, slightly cyborg,

I'm assuming you have a whole lot of time to devote to this obviously very difficult process. Do you have time that you can devote to this? I work three hours a night on the project after work split. One hour reading, one hour software, one hour hardware, plus weekends. And did you take any advice from Elon Musk

in doing this? I am taking Elon's approach to entering the industry, which is one, read, read, read and read some more. Two, work your ass off. And three, demo both your ideas and product and then listen to the criticism of your allies. Sure. Did you not? But not the step where you start out by having a billion dollars, which I think was an important step for him. Or being able to

build a robot. Like, if I'm going to build a robot, I feel I have more steps to the process than hardware. Software. Software. I software today. And then Friendly Batman just says, be warned if you continue

with your plan for world domination I will find you and I will stop you Do you have a response for that? Oh, that's sort of like bad joke post you made? I took it very seriously Why? I want to liberate people by dominating physics And metaphysics

Simultaneously EX When robots grow food for me And provide me with basic resources I will turn my energies toward Prolonging human life through medical research Think about what you would do If this world produced your food

At zero marginal cost And then come and find me On the battlefield Achilles Heelies I want to give you a choice here. Oh boy. I know, I know. Well, Cheapskate

gave me 23 pages. Kind of dense. It's one of those reddits that's pretty dense. A lot of reddits are pretty dense, actually. So, yeah, so your choices are, I want to be rich. Advise.

Sounds like a good plan. Okay. Or a close encounter with non-human intelligence. Oh, it's got to be the second one. All right. All right, great. So a close encounter with non-human intelligence. Your name is Frank underscore Worrell. Okay. All right, great. So, close encounter with non-human intelligence. Your name is Frank underscore Worrell.

Okay. All right. Hello, I'm Frank underscore Worrell. Years ago, I made strong eye contact with a mountain lion. Surprise number one, I could read the mountain lion. I mean, it's a good book. It kind of tapers off at the end there. Body language is the same as people, especially the eyes.

Surprise number two, mountain lions are INTJ. He filled out that test really fast. Is that like a reverse other kid or something? It looks like you can just credit this stuff, because when I looked up INTJ on Wikipedia, it says prominent INTJs are believed to be Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Thomas Jefferson, Woodrow Wilson, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Calvin Coolidge, and James K. Polk. Because, I don't know, I said so? I thought you were going to add, and that mountain lion. I was going toidge, and James K. Polk. Because, I don't know, I said so? Yeah.

I thought you were going to add, and that mountain lion. And Jimmy Mountain Lion. And all mountain lions. None of them really excel at parties. And I'm done. Yeah. Please, please, suspend your disbelief long enough to hear me out. suspender disbelief long enough to hear me out.

First, there is absolutely no mistaking the calculating, judging mind behind those eye movements. Yes, mostly limited to sizing up potential opposition, strategizing attack and escape routes, but curious, too. We have all heard

curiosity killed the cat. It is true. That's not what that phrase means, but that's fine. No, I'm pretty sure. I'm the INTJ guy, so... The INTJ guy on our INTJ. Yeah, the INTJ guy.

It is true. This is a big cat with a big brain. Yeah. He will take life threatening... And he's ready to fuck! That's the tagline on my Tinder profile. He will take life-threatening risks just to satisfy his capital curiosity.

No. Just no, they don't. He read the mountain lion. He did. He made... I mean, okay, if he made regular eye contact, then sure, you could doubt him. He read the mountain lion. He did. He made... He made... I mean, okay. If he made regular eye contact, then sure, you could doubt him.

But he said he made strong eye contact. Oh, well then. Come on, Vortex. He bumped up his eyes. You can see it in his eyes. What about N? Slam dunk. Mountain lion...

Slam dunk. From downtown. Boom goes the dynamite. Mountain Lion Mind leads leap to conclusions. Fast. Mountain Lion Minds leap to conclusions. Yep. Period. Yep.

Fast. I leap with capitalized. If that isn't I-N-I, capital N, tuition, I don't know what is. I is a gimme. All mountain lions are I. That is so deep. I mean, you know, I'll actually, in this, I'll give you that statement. That's fine, because they're kind of solitary.

So, quit. Well, continuing with the eye contact, the mountain lion is starting to fidget and squirm just like people do. Oh yeah, no, if the mountain lion gets a straw, like he takes the wrapper off the straw and rips it up into little balls. All of God's creatures are uncomfortable around me. He can read me too.

Something like this. Two eyes facing front. Intense gaze Equals Predator bigger than me Not at all scared Equals Flight

Not fight Now he's starting to pace But there's nowhere to run So I break off eye contact And he calms down in seconds He is not as smart as I am I mean I don't I don't think that's what the...

That's not what the mountain lion was thinking when he saw this guy. I would not get nervous if I was safe inside a cage with a big predator prowling outside. I'm going to test that. Totally out of curiosity, I tried reading people like a mountain lion. How do people read? Yeah, how do people read? How do people read? I want to know. Wait, wait, this mountain lion. How do people read? Yeah, how do people read? How do people read? I want to know.

Don't really tell me. Wait, this mountain lion was at the zoo? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can't. I thought he had an encounter in the wild. Did you? Did you think that?

I did. I was like, wow, this is, like, amazing. He stared down a lion in the woods while the woods not uh with the power while holding a souvenir cup full of icies i envy your capacity for disappointment lou well anyway i try to figure out this next sentence oversimplified 97 sheep three percent wolves that's that's people that's that's how people read yeah That's how people read. Why oversimplified? A mountain lion does not know what I know. Am I a mountain lion?

Because I still can't figure myself out. He doesn't know how to rocket jump, the moron. Not wolves. Domesticated predators. Not dangerous to sheep. Quite the opposite. College sheep dogs. Nope.

What? Pre-read the same person at different times and the results can shift. Tired people are almost 100% sheep. There is just no denying that people are domesticated animals. There's a lot of denying. This is insulting. Who domesticated us? Now, come on, Frank.

Some examples. That cute little lamb on the cell phone. Lost. Oblivious. I'm going to cry. Can't save her if she walks in front of that bus. Wait a minute. That dog needs more watching.

Scanning stuff. Thief. Not dangerous to sheep ignore. That dog over there Welcome to my psychotic break This is turning more and more into the note That the police are reading at the murder scene That dog over there

Playing cloth security Hope he sees the thief Now that fox Yum, if I had a tail It'd be wagging Tear the flesh. Burn the flesh. He's like slowly turning into a furry over the course of the post. I was a furry the whole time.

But one in a thousand all men in my sample spook me. Like everyone else, it is all in the eyes. They don't make eye contact in any normal way. They look at you like a piece of furniture. What the hell are they? I don't know. Maybe INTJ with zero F? Are they dangerous?

Probably not. No emotion. A panicky sheep is more dangerous. Mad dogs are more common and far more dangerous. A panicky sheep is more dangerous than a lion? Well, a panicky sheep probably isn't in a zoo So, like, it might actually get to this guy Mechanical ethics more reliable than my own

Would be a great brain surgeon A good lawyer, but a bad judge Zero compassion But mountain lions feel more human than two-legged robots. Mountain lions make normal eye contact. Don't tell that other guy. Which is the more human intelligence? Decide for yourself.

I pick the mountain lion. Oh, what a surprise. I would say replicate my results if you dare, except for one thing. You don't have results! Let's not abuse another mountain lion. They're big, scarty cats. They will run

if you are bold. Not dangerous at all, unless you walk into an ambush behaving like a sheep. Or, you know, see them outside of a zoo. I mean, we can replicate the results right now. You can just bang on the keyboard for ten minutes. What have we learned? Hey, F+, my name's PixelatedSuit.

Hello. What are your thoughts on Jay-Z being an INTJ? Oh, that's what the Z stood for in my... Yeah, Jay-Z stands for INTJ. Oh, that's what the Z stood for in my... Yeah, JZ stands for INTJ. This will do, Ads. Yes, I agree with you 100%. And I've thought this out

before as well. Just the strategy behind his rise to power, both as a drug dealer and as an artist, also serve as evidence. The way he covers his tracks and plans for every alternative is very INTJ like. You should read his

autobiography. It's a great read and his INTJ-ness definitely comes through. Oh my god. What a weird lens these people see the world through. And then Boots, you are J4H4J. Yeah, I'm a J4H, but I'm also 4J.

I don't mean to burst everyone's bubble, but IDK about this. When I think INTJ mastermind Jay-Z doesn't even come to mind. And, uh, Portax, your account was deleted. Alright, as it is. One of the only things that disqualify one from being an INTJ

is definitive ignorance, something you are displaying right now. Ooh. You're out of the club, asshole. Now, okay. If he is, and I mean that with much skepticism, he is a shit-tear INTJ at best. That sounds mean, I think, but I can't be sure.

Because he's so smart, he thought tear as in tear spelled like tear yeah yeah yeah like yeah shit tear means you actually have feces coming from your eyes that's pretty bad

that's really bad that's how you get pink eye is that how you get pink eye yes that's how you get pink eye

that's how he gets pink eye that's how you get he doesn't compare with any of the real guys Like Isaac Newton Or Stephen Hawking Real men of genius That stay out of the spotlight

That stay out of the spotlight Isaac Newton and Stephen Hawking stay out of the spotlight Do they They sure do Sure that's why none of us know their names Whatever voice I'm using is going to change every five words. What accomplishments has Jay-Z done? Sing a bunch of

songs instead of music? Label? This guy is a genius. He's inventing all sorts of new spellings. He has no intellectual contributions to society at all. No true mastermind of anything hate to burst your bubble but you didn't need to voice that opinion in this thread that's pretty rude

to op wait what is this somebody else's yeah yeah me i was the one that was like hey thoughts on jz being intj and then you're rude to me yeah you're rude to him right so all let's just circle jerk about how much of a genius Jay Zed is. Since you're an OP and this is the point of the thread and all, saying he's not an INTJ qualifies as thoughts on Jay Z being INTJ. I think he's mad because he's saying it's an insult to the actual op, the person who only pixelated sued, who only posted thoughts on Jay Z being INTJ. So if you say he's not, then that's mean to him.

That's super confusing. What else do you have to say, deleted? You are an idiot. Bye. It's nice to see that you're capable of rationally arguing since you're an INTJ and all. I am.

Burn. Go get some bread and make an INTJ and PB sandwich. It'll be great. Hey, Frank West. Yes. How can a smart person become smarter? I'm glad you asked. I'm the one who knocks.

I wish that wasn't your name. Yeah. Well. Can that not be your name? Can we put it to a vote? Okay, what do we vote his name on being, then? I'm the one who sucks. Oh, there it is.

Heisenturd. Walter White Guy. Maybe you guys just don't see the big picture well enough to understand how great my name is, because you're not INTJs like me. How can a smart person become smarter? I fear you guys are the only ones I can ask this to without sounding like a dick.

To be fair, we're not the ones he's asking. No. Fortunately, you are likely the group I would choose to ask regardless. I am a very smart person. Ha ha ha! Yeah! What are your thoughts on cougars? I would choose to ask regardless. I am a very smart person. Compared with...

Yeah! What are your thoughts on cougars? Or mountain lions? They're the same thing. No, no, no, Jesse was into cougars, not Walter White. Compared with the average American, anyway. Sorry, let's take a little bit of diversion and look at what subreddits

I am the one who knocks his post in. Remember, he's a very smart person. Okay, so most commonly it's in the Naruto subreddit. I thought I recognized that name. Well, I mean, he's also in

AP Students. He's also in Swords. PC Master Race. Anyway. Anyway. I am a very smart person. Objectively, this is a fact. There are... There are smarter people out there.

Regrettably, I do not converse with many, but 94% are not, from a purely logical perspective anyway. Right, right, from a purely well-reasoned statistical perspective. In terms of observance marks, I'd mark myself at 75%. For people skills, 15%. What? How dare? Is it because everyone else is too dumb? Is that what the problem is? Yes.

I'm just saying that averages out to 90%, so. It sums up, so it actually averages out to 45. But in the deduction, trickery, deception, plan formulating, whatever you'd call it category, I would honestly put myself pretty near 100%. I'm 100% for trickery?

Yeah, because he's Naruto. Right. That would actually be people skills. I feel like you don't understand people skills. Okay, that's fine. But people don't like me, so that can't be right. Okay. I do searches online and whatnot for how to boost intellect,

but predictably, I am quickly bored and unchallenged by most. I am too intelligent for this wikiHow article. This article is so long and unchallenging. That's why I've come to a group of like-minded intellects. I mean, that's true. I imagine many of you are at similar or even higher rankings than I am. Let's compare power levels. Holy shit.

Fuck. God damn it. God damn it. So, in your experience, what is something or some things that can really push the limits of your intelligence in the first, second, and fourth? I'm not interested in expanding my social abilities right

now, nor would the... Yeah, who would need to? Who would need that? Wait, so you want to level up your judgmentalism? I mean, he's already pretty high. I want to level up judging people. No, he wants to level up your judgementalism? I mean, he's already pretty high. I want to level up judging people. No, he wants to level up his smarts and his flan-formulating and trickery, and then also his, wait, also observant smarts, which are different.

Oh, okay, okay. Because those are the four types of girls. The smarts that you can see, like the smarts that have like a chakra to them. What's the four types of smarts that you can see like the smarts that have like a chakra to them what's the four types of smarts there's like blood mucus yellow bile black bile R2 headbands

actually that metaphor is flawed because there are five hidden villages Frank West you're out of the podcast nope Frank West is stuck here out of the podcast. Nope, Frank West is stuck here forever. Yeah, bring one of you instead. Yeah, exactly.

I'm not interested in expanding my social abilities right now. I don't know what the sort of advice I expect to receive here help with it anyway, so I'm just going to leave that out. It's pretty perceptive. Okay. Okay. And then, Lou, you're a scroticus.

Oh, God. Scrotitious? Scroticus. Scroticus. Hmm. Well, there's exposing yourself to data slash information and integrating it into your knowledge that you can recall consciously. As in, if you were asked,

if you could answer what, if you were asked, wait, if you were asked it, you could answer like roundabout way of explaining the concept of memorizing things. Yeah. Answering a question.

I hope you'll teach smart people lessons. Then you could also critically analyze your past mistakes and see if any of those mistake patterns are occurring in other sectors of your life and learning how to prevent yourself from doing that or at best training yourself to look for it to catch it quickly after a mistake is made. Oh shit, is Andy Rooney an INTJ? What if he never makes any mistakes, though? What then, asshole? I only suggest this because leaving mistakes unnoticed leads to skipping over information unknowingly. The last thing I know to do is practice perceiving analogies between various sources of knowledge and calling out similarities as well as the limitations of the similarities. This seems to make my intuition produce epiphanies more frequently.

It's indirect, though. I don't think humans can consciously control epiphanies. Edit. You may not understand why immediately but this will help you in trickery and deception when you can hear someone else's interpretation of an event what will happen you didn't say anything immediately pinpoint what pattern their brain must have perceived from said event then use that knowledge to your advantage ah i had an epiphany. I am an idiot. I like this idea of, think about it,

other people have different perspectives. You can use this to trick them. It's like, okay, I suppose. Use this knowledge to be able to answer a question. This D&D game sucks. You gotta spend 400 questions rolling your character

We're moving on in just a second But first Achilles, you got something there? Yeah What do you got? I believe it's time for an INTJ country Oh boy Oh boy

I'm Njtaumike35. Oh, oh, oh! You're a man going your own way. Men going your own way, Mike. Oh wow. Okay. Yeah. I thought it...

I transliterated that. I thought it was Magic the Gathering. This is sadder. Hey, it still could be. Um. The things that we could achieve without the rest of the lot holding us back would be astounding.

No doubt we could colonize another planet within a century. Cancer cure within a decade. And fortunately, for every two steps we take, and everybody else with us, they take us a step and a half back.

Democracy doesn't work. Okay, Brad Bird. Great. Oh, boy. I wonder how many different hateful communities you were a member of. All of them! Let's find out. Yep.

There's men going their own way. He posted men going their own way. you were a member of? All of them. Let's find out. Yep. Let's go to the video. There's men going their own way. He posted men going their own way. He then posted men going their own way. Oh, interesting. He then posted men going their own way. I wonder if that media consumption has colored his worldview at all.

So here's a thread called, is Ann Coulter a NARWALT? A NARWALT? A NARWALT? A NARWALT. No, a NARWALT is an acronym is Ann Coulter and Nalwalt. And Nalwalt. A narwhal? A narwhal. No, a Nalwalt is an acronym

that stands for not all women are like that. Is Ann Coulter a not all woman? I don't even want to go into it. Let's not explore that.

I mean, thankfully, not all women are like Ayn Rand. That's a positive. No, Ann Coulter. How can you tell the difference?

One's alive. Which one? Part number two. Good. Part one was called I'm the Best. Part two is called Everyone Else is the Worst. Ooh. I like that one.

Because we're reading about it right now. My name is couchy fourier I have no friends and this becomes more and more unbearable during university I always greet people of my faculty and they

always greet back basically this is all the social interaction I get. I avoid parties, like the plague, since the topics mostly range between shared friends, music, drinking, or other primitively minded and emotionally guided topics. All right, let's see what your favorite video game is. I really need someone to talk about something meaningful. Sometimes I feel really

worthless. Often I feel that our life is a big and utter joke and I more and more acknowledge that it actually is. There are so many examples in my everyday life and I usually start laughing multiple times a day when I, again, encounter such a situation of sheer ignorance. The laughter is not of joy, but of helplessness and desperation.

People probably think that I'm weird and I am more and more inclined to think that I don't belong here. For instance, in our university... No, I'm weird and I am more and more inclined to think that I don't belong here. For instance, in our university... I'm agreeing, yeah. Okay, great. Thank you. I love it when women agree with me. I love it when women agree with me so much. Okay.

That's actually never happened. What do I do with this boner? Okay. Cut it off and chuck it in Skype. This guy posts on NoFap, so... Oh, God. He also posted to ExplainLikeIm5 where he asks,

why can't we tap on neural stimuli to read someone's mind? So, you... This guy posts on NoFap. He can't talk to human beings, but I can't jerk off? That's quite a hole you dug for yourself, buddy. That's why he's getting to the telepathy game.

Okay. For instance, in our university during lunchtime, there are those blonde, high-heeled, fashionable, quote-unquote popular NBA girls talking about something extremely fucking trivical extreme, sorry I'm just so mad about it. Hi, what's going on? I'm Blonde Annika.

You are wearing shoes that have heels! Ah! I hate how tall those shoes make you! I was just wondering if you knew what time it was, but I guess not. Either by genetics or your own personal decisions, you have blonde hair! I'm going to go that way. You're kind of getting spittle all over my face.

Why won't girls talk to me? Okay, so they're talking about some extremely fucking trivial subject, like how their PowerPoint business presentation wasn't smooth enough, or their ex dumped them. You know, things that shouldn't be relevant to anybody. Exactly. Trivial? They're never talking about how I can't talk to people.

A trivial subject such as the classes they're taking at the school that they're in wouldn't... So stupid! But if you're super smart and you're in school... Their ex dumped them and they cared. If they could only realize how ignorant their thinking is,

space hyphen space, they are gravitationally bound to an object of matter. They are gravitationally bound to an object of matter. That's gravitionally. Gravitionally. Gravitionally. An object of matter. Our planet Earth, comma.

Man, that's punctuation. That makes the sentence even better. consuming an atmospheric mixture of nitrogen and oxygen while floating in a vast amount of vacuum in an irregular ellipse around an even bigger object while being exposed to persistent radiation. Yeah, and they're babbling on about unimportant bullshit. They're talking about inanities. Why didn't he just tell them that sentence? That's what I'm pretty sure he did. Oh. That's why no one talks to him.

So he avoids parties, all these parties he got invited to. No, no, I avoid them. I avoid them. I'm glad I didn't get the invitation. Do you avoid unicorns at night? Your Subway sandwich is $5. I don't want to hear about the rest of the show. Oh, it's that guy again.

These very people are upset about the slaughtering of animals, yet they eat them. Not the ones that are. Never mind. These ones, women who are blonde and have PowerPoint, talk about that. There are so many paradoxes in our society. Period. Politics, comma, the church, the media, fan culture,

ellipsis. Whenever I leave my room and enter the realm of society, I become mentally crushed. Feelings of hope, exploration, and experimentation become instantly annihilated by the very way people walk around. Whole.

This word's wonderful. It's real good. Okay, the very way that people walk around, unemotionless. Why isn't Planet Vulcan real? Why don't they lack emotion? You, stop not having less emotion. My parents call me negative, but I'm just double negative.

emotion my parents call me negative but i'm just double negative um filled with hatred bored and absolutely not giving a fuck um excuse me uh he he seemed to drop your hatsune miku figure on the floor i was just returning it you're in your little rant there just don't touch it don't touch it you'll probably get nail polish all over it god you don't even know how to pick up the word that you said that I also know if he had only just realized that the girl knew something they had something in common.

And now it's too late. He's screamed at her. She was the biggest Hatsune Miku fan on campus. But she was blonde, so fuck it. He could tell. He could have attended one of their concerts on YouTube. She had an emotion about it. She said the word makeup once bitch um okay uh then uh later on in the thread uh kaushi

fourier uh talks about his robot army oh i just like to make a comment to like any of our listeners who've uh who've already posted on our website or on Ball Pit or on something awful about Lemon's pronunciation of Couchy Fourier transforms. So, don't bother. Fuck off. Couchy Fourier. It's more fours than your regular couch. Is it a candy? Is it like a Ferrero

Rocher kind of thing? Yeah. Yeah. I like my interpretation better. I mean, again, there's a decent chance that this dude has never heard it spoken either and does not know how to pronounce it. Also, if you recognize that your math degree

is just as useless as mine, so congratulations. So what is a couch covered in fours? Um, so, uh... Well, Frank, I asked, you like that thread, so you should probably read that thread then. Oh, dear. Frank West, what is bothering you? My name is R-squared.

It's a pirate joke, get it? Yeah, I knew you'd like that one. I love people with usernames that are just designed. It's like, what's going to make me sound smart? 365 days is so frustratingly arbitrary. What? He doesn't like that Kingdom Hearts game. I get that joke.

Good. High five. Lots of nerd cred in this episode. Because we're I and Q, smiley face, squiggly line. Oh, that's true. In an episode with Portax and Frank West? Weird. I know, right?

It's crazy. I keep seeing posts either here or on Facebook commiserating how people are so glad slash sad to see 2013 go, or how people with so many goals for 2014. It is a day. Nothing is magically different in a day. The number assigned for tracking purposes is not going to fix your shitty behavior and lack of discipline in all prior time.

It's driving me crazy. I'm the extremist moderate. 365 is not arbitrary. It's based on the observation that the Earth ends up rotating the sun. Does it? Yeah. It ends up rotating the sun. Okay.

So we know how gravity works, right? So the sheer gravitational pull of the Earth spins the sun around. Okay. Makes sense. Okay. sorry. Sorry, I'm Boots Rangier. I'm not an INTJ. I don't know these things.

Rotating the sun at a relative constant speed, meaning that the amount of time it takes to go through a full cycle of seasons is constant. When set relative to the amount of time it takes for the Earth to rotate about its axis once a day, the amount of time it takes for the Earth to rotate about its axis once a day, the amount of time it takes for the Earth to go around the sun once is approximately 365.2425 days. However, when you measure time in days, it's annoying to start a year partway through the day. So most years are rounded down, while roughly a quarter are rounded up.

What's the easiest way to do this? Have every fourth year be 366, except for those divisible by 100, but not 400. So no, not arbitrary. Hidden. I just need to mention something about the extremist moderate, which is that, other than the whole Earth rotating the sun thing, that was totally

correct, and that's why R-I-N-T-J downvoted him So hard That it hid his post Very Rob the Parrot It's really hard to see the post anymore Because it's like, correct answer, fuck you I'm Eraser Hill

There was a hill here I erased it, that's fine Uh, arbitrary arbitrary founded on or subject to personal whims prejudices etc capricious having only relative application of relevance not absolute on mars a year lasts about 1.8 times as long as on Earth. In that retrospect, caring about the time scale of this planet when you have the entire universe's context seems arbitrary, but maybe I'm using the wrong

word? I also don't understand the great excitement of a calendar year changing or having your odometer read 22,222 or something equally human. Stupid.

Check it out, it's all twos. Fuck you! That's the thing, you know you know that for all these people if something dumb little happy thing happened to them, then they would say, why doesn't everyone else care? I don't know, maybe you shit on it when I had a birthday or there was a New Year's.

No. My life is more important than the rest of yours. Your cat video sucks! Check out this cat video! What do you think the odds are that there's, like, some asshole on reddit if you were to ask them man oh 100 100 that's not quite done what i was gonna say oh sorry uh wait a minute the extremist moderate has an entj tag he's not even an intj get the fuck out you fucking

extra that's why you got downvoted it actually it actually says in the sidebar uh welcome to r.a. and t.j. the sub is open to all types flare up and then it has some rules uh there are only three rules and the second one is no memes i mean the thing i was saying earlier before frank west interrupted me oh as you think this is probably there's got to be at least like one asshole on on reddit who if you ask them their, they'll give it back to you in Mars years? Oh, thanks, phone. I like that Boots had his joke stepped up, and he was like, okay, shut up, stop, seriously. Lou, what do you got?

I am a concealed sociopath and my new thread is entitled Does any other INTJs have this problem in debates? You can't win them? Tenses? The problem is having other people fail to see the other point of view. I was reading on a subreddit the other day. That means you're bad at debating.

What the hell? What? Just people fail to see the other side. Oh my God. Is this going to be like, that's my problem? People are too stupid to understand me? Is that what's about to happen here? Let's find out.

Yes. I was reading on a subreddit the other day called Let's Know Meat. Just creepy stories. There was a story about a girl who got kidnapped, but they managed to find her, it turned out the subset the suspect was someone who lost a child everyone in the comment section was saying things as i hope he gets life that's scary he's a freak etc acts um i said something along the lines of well yes he is a dangerous person and possibly a creep but he has recently gone through a traumatic experience loosing his

dot. He could not even been fully aware or have full understanding of the severity of his actions. I immediately began to get flamed. I did not even disagree with people, but because I in some way defended

his actions, I got flamed oh no that's the worst thing that's ever happened like some sort of dead devil who's like advocating for something I don't know I even pointed out that I do agree the man deserves to be jailed and hopefully gets evaluated

but still the flames came I even got long I took an unpopular view and people responded as though my view were unpopular. What the hell? I even got long messages of people saying why I am dumb and a prick. Then they

barbarically attacked my age. I am 15. Apparently age has something to do with my point. seems barbarians were famous for being it actually does it seems like the average person in the world is too i don't know too ignorant to understand another side of the story one of those twos is incorrect i have this problem a lot. A apostrophe a lot? A apostrophe a lot. I like to point out the other possibilities, whereas most seem to enjoy ignoring them.

Anyone else have this problem? I am sure if it was allowed. Yeah, you tried. You tried to spell that word. It sounds the same as the other word The other way People would have hanged And courted this man

They would have put him in a milk jug Would have Would have I was looking At the other Threads that Concealed Sociopath is into, and hey, Reddit, a bunch of these subreddits shouldn't exist. What do you mean? I'm not even going to say them out loud, but there's a bunch of reddits that this guy's into that should not exist on a popular website.

He's not so concealed. That's not fucking okay. Watch people die. Yeah, ogreish. Thanks, Luke. Watch people die. Yeah. Ogress. Thanks, Luke. I'm sorry. Oops. Yeah.

Yeah. That's your podcast, asshole. All right. Hey, Achilles Heelies. We got another choice here. Which of these threads strikes your fancy? Which of these threads strikes your fancy? Is it exhausted from filtering myself? It is tiring.

Or I look at people and pity them, and yet I relish their naivete. Yeah, yeah, that first one, you know, I identify with it. So, yeah, go ahead. What do you got there? Well, hello, I am CML go ahead. What do you got there? Well, hello, I am cmlarn37. Come, Larn. Mm, come.

I feel like so many times on this forum, I see the advise in a social situation is to suppress yourself and conform to make everyone feel better. I understand this is the best thing to do socially, and I will often produce the best results. I do this all the time myself. But goddammit, I fucking hate this shit. I feel like my entire social existence is just me holding myself back and filtering everything I say

so I don't come across as a miserable, cynical bastard that I really am. I mean, yeah. Yes a miserable, cynical bastard that I really am. I mean, yeah. Yes! Yes, and you should! Yes! Does everyone else have to do this? Yeah, no, we all have that. You monster!

Way too often, I just want to explode and just go off. Okay, so if, like, if I were to come up to this guy and tell him, you know, you're kind of weird looking and you smell bad and no one really gives a shit what your favorite cartoon is, like, he would appreciate my honesty, right? Yeah, I bet. Yeah. I bet he probably would.

Like, that shirt you have that has Doctor Who dressed up as his, you know, domomo-kun. Like, yeah, it doesn't fit you, and your skin's really nasty, and you look like someone... No, you don't understand. He wants his honesty. Oh, he doesn't want mine? That's the problem.

I see. So if I said his pathetic warbling sounds like someone shoved a bird into a clothes dryer. Listen, Portax, I don't want to hear from you. I want to hear from Black of Hearts. Okay. Catch 22. Being an INTJ is not what it's cracked up to be.

You have to... I hate how pedantic I am about this, but Catch 22 has one definition and that's not it. I know it's my cross to bear, but it bothers me every little time. If you were an INTJ,

you would understand why that applies. It doesn't apply. You're not in the military. This morning I got up, and I tried to get outside, and I was going to catch my bus because I took too long of a shower, and I saw the bus drive right by.

It was such a fucking catch-22 No! It's a classic catch-22 It's a classic The word catch already exists I had to wait for the next bus Oh, okay He's got a major, major, major problem with that

So in one situation I catch the bus in the other situation I don't catch the bus and there's another bus coming It's a classic Catch-22. Jesus, Simon, you're really pulling a Catch-22 here. It's my own fault for identifying something that annoys me. Yep, the rest of the podcast is going to be this joke. Does anybody have any great memes about Catch-22?

I... Harambe loved Catch-22? Harambe loved Catch-22, Frank West. All right, all right. Please, please, please move on. Please move on. I've got more rye over here. Okay, good.

Anyway, as I was saying about my Catch-22, being an INTJ is not what it's cracked up to be. You have to learn to be patient and utilize sites like Reddit. Okay, that is actually Reddit. It says it right in the Myers Big Type definition.

I mean, it should, really. INTJ, you have to use Reddit. It says right there. I'm sorry, but your son is going to have to use Reddit. You have to get him a medical fedora to put on his head. I don't see why everyone think it's cool to be an INTJ. It's a burden and exhausting.

Online sites like these are a blessing for social interactions Lots of great information on how to be yourself in a world of crazies My name is Bashar Speaks Bashar Speaks Yes, and it's not just that It's like you have to keep track of multiple versions of reality in your mind And translate between them constantly. Like, you need to keep multiple simple-minded ignoramus versions of reality in order to communicate with the different flavors of plebs forward slash normies.

But then you need your own private model of reality so you can actually see the big picture and make intelligent decisions. There is a, oh, man. Oh, man. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

There's a thread entitled, and it's really good, but it's a little too long to read. But the thread is called, I am now 22 parentheses about life, death, and the truth of things. Oh, yeah! Can I just read the beginning of that? Okay. Just the first three sentences.

I don't know. Can you take just one, Mike? As of Friday, I am now 22. What a hollow number. It means nothing. That's it. It's just as hollow as New Year's Day. Anyway, Boots, you need to explain why music is pointless.

I sure do. Don't you foob. I'm foob. Foob. Foob. Foob. Foob. It just seems like a huge waste of time and money.

I used to be really into music when I was in high school, but since I've been in my 20s, it feels like everyone only listens to music to look cool. I did the same thing in high school. I even went as far as to get a tattoo of my favorite band. I'm not going to tell you who that is. Captain Antonio. Captain Antonio.

Featuring the Carpenters. I seem to adapt this point of view. I adapted it. It was one point of view. I adapted it. It was one point of view, and then it became another one. After really getting into audiobooks, when I think about it, when I think about how much I could have learned from books in the same amount of time that I spent listening to the same three-minute jingles

over and over again, it made me a little mad. This CD of commercials sucks. Give me a break! Give me a little mad. This CD of commercials sucks. Give me a break! Give me a break! I think it might relate to my weirdness toward watching, slash reading, slash experiencing the same thing multiple times. I feel like I get the most out of stuff the first time I experience it and then every time after that it is much smaller return on my time investment

I mean yeah my time invested alright I wonder how many video games that you have that have 100% completion on them I hate watching the same move more move movie I hate watching the same move movie more

than once per year. Yeah, he's watching Darren's dance groups but only once. I watch educational films about moving companies. How many of theirs are there? There's one. And I've watched it more than once per year. I hate it.

I hate it. It seems like people find songs they like and just listen to it over and over and over. What's the point? I look on the internet. I can't find anyone with the same sentiments. My friends completely immerse themselves in music and define themselves

by it. I'm like an alien, but it makes so much sense to me. Yeah, you are kind of like an alien. I hate wasting time, but boy do I post a lot in the world-building and men's rights forums on here. But I only post once.

Man, I... Okay, I mean... Alright. Never mind. We are... Very last thing. I gotta say, I gotta say, I have... In the

Lemon recording studio, I have multiple monitors set up. We've recently moved from Skype over to Discuss, and now I just can't look at one of my monitors. Oh, yeah. Sorry, Discord. Why is that, Lyman? I can't.

So one monitor is the Discord window, and all I have is you fucking assholes posting memes of Catch-22. Why you no like Catch-22, Grumpy Cat, Catch-22. Grumpy cat Catch-22. Which is custom built for me. Thank you, Fortek. I posted a homophobic Buffy the Vampire Slayer one. That's good.

That's good. God damn it. Alright, I'm gonna not look at that window. Okay, so, Lou. Yes? Very last thing, and the very last thing is a choice. Is a choice, alright? Alright. So, Very last thing, and the very last thing is a choice. It's a choice, all right?

All right. So, what are you going to close us out on? Are you going to close us out on... There's more memes. Okay. Are you going to close us out on porn, colon, a love-hate relationship, or my internal conflict with sex? Oh, jeez. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it porn or is it fucking? It's your choice man it's hard alright alright I guess I'll go with porn alright you're gonna that's a very despondent

voice when you said I guess I'll go with porn six of one I've had conversations that ended that way actually I guess I'll go with porn. Six of one. I've had conversations that ended that way, actually. Just shrug. I guess I'll go with porn. So this document, once again, provided by Cheapskates. Thank you very much, Cheapskates.

TGEFBL.us. We've got the documents and many other documents that we've read okay ready are we ready my name is deleted and I would like to discuss porn a love slash hate relationship

good because after this I'm going to post this ain't porn relationship is it good because after this i'm going to post this ain't porn i love hate relationship uh is it is it just me or do other intjs express the sentiment also for me porn is a love slash hate kind of thing on one hand the hand i hold my dick in. I love the abundance. That's where you were going with that. What a fun journey.

On one hand, I love the abundance of new porn I can watch and the endless porn stars that seem to enter the industry fresh out of the factory. In quotes, because that's a term that they just invented. Are they real dolls? In his porn, they are. And of course, besides the obvious visual pleasantries, porn provides an easy, quick fix to the problem of blue balls. Not to mention the convenience. Now that would imply that I was having frustrating encounters with women who leave me hanging. Huh?

But I doubt this guy has that problem. That probably doesn't happen. On the other hand, I absolutely despise it. I think the actors slash actresses are nothing but brazen scum with no talent other than the look slash genitalia they were born with. What? What the fuck? Why? I'll trip off to you, but I think you are scum of the earth.

You, you, I am taking away your porno key, sir. You are no longer allowed to access pornography. Can I have the key? You already hold the key. Let me tell you, what really grinds my gears is the absolute shamelessness, brazenness of their actions. Oh, my. Like, why on camera? Why would you have this sex on camera?

Oh my god, your ta-tas are out. Okay. Who wouldn't like this? Just jerking off furiously and yelling, why does this exist? I mean, okay. You're the problem!

Okay, you like 12 BBCs beating you up, but why put it on camera? BBC 12. Yep. Oh, wow. I mean, look, I understand it's all about money for these people,

but when you look at them and see them in action, they seem to truly like it. What a bunch of assholes. Which they must because as I've mentioned, they cannot act. Even the serious type of porn

like intense gangbangs, sadism, gagging, etc. I don't know if those are particularly serious. The more heady they're not meant to be studied artfully. No, no, no, no. He's saying that they're all business.

There is no tomfoolery in that category. There is no one slipping on banana peels. Okay, okay. We've got a gangbang coming, but first, a little dance number. They're all sitting in armchairs with, like, dinner jackets and smoking pipes, and they're like, shall we get to the business, dude? Right, right, inside the actor's butt, exactly, that's what I'm saying.

Anyway. It just really pisses me off. I can't explain it. Especially right after I finish. Am I weird? Yes. Weird's not the word I'd use. Hello, my name is Machine Language.

For me, it's less about pornography and more about sexuality in general. Huh, that's weird. Sex... What the... Hey, Lemon, we're still doing a podcast. That was more about sexuality.

Someone watching serious type of porn? Sorry, we're having a porn discussion. My voice was too sexy. Sexual urges are... He doesn't have to record himself cumming. Sexual urges are very animalistic and a constant reminder that I am fundamentally a hairless primate.

I think that's really true. I find it strange that people celebrate their sexuality. I love boobs! Yep, that's true. Yeah, the boob parade that they have every year. You don't actually like

boobs. You liars. Okay, I thought I did, but... You're on candid camera! Everyone was in on it the whole time! I don't like boobs. Your genetic programming is telling you what to do. What you actually like is the dopamine release...

Okay. ...that is being granted to you by your genes for fulfilling reproductive imperative. The reproductive imperative of jerking off to new sensations videos? Exclusively.

It's good that you have brand loyalty. Yeah, so if you ask Machine Language, Machine underscore Language, if you like spicy food, it's like that you have brand loyalty yeah so if you ask machine language machine underscore language if you like spicy food is like well i do like the endorphin release that i get as a result of the the food uh reacting with my my mouth um then kick him the fuck out of my house meanwhile deleted's over there going, I WANT COCK THIS! Uh, F+, what did we learn from any of this? Um,

well, I learned that you really hate it when I do this. Oh my god, there's so many of these in the Discord. this. Oh my god, there's so many of these in the Discord. What else have you learned? People just love to have an excuse to hate

other people. Oh, I don't talk to people. That makes me better than them. I'm a weird nerd and I smell bad. That makes me better than everyone else. Like, okay. Did you guys know that people on Reddit weren't very, like, well-adjusted? What? I...

I'm pretty sure lots of people on Reddit are well-adjusted. I mean, a few, sure. Probably not their prolific ones, though. No, that's because, you know, they haven't been scared away from the last six months of the front page of Reddit being the most fucking horrible thing in the world. Just talk about Donald Duck on there.

Come on, be nice. That's the Donald I care about. So out of these 16 personality types, this one about being an introvert who is really, really too smart to interact with anybody is one of the three that gets any significant traffic on the road. What are the other ones that get the traffic? Oh, God. I don't know what they are. Never mind. I don't care that much.

Don't ask me. it felt like a bunch of people took like a bullshit like personality test and then assumed that they got like a mensa like application yeah because that's that's that's how it's treated it's like it's like oh i am tj that means i'm very smart like no it just means that some personality shit like you didn't have to like you didn't have to answer science and math questions. Like, you didn't have to, like, build shit with Duplo. Like, there was no skill-based... Yeah, Bionicle's the way to go when you think about it.

Here's a situation. What would you do? This A or B? I was like, well, I guess I'd probably stay home. I'm the smartest! No, it's A, B, and then A, but yell about anyone who does B.

I mean, it's like these people, they can't interact with others, and so they retire to the internet where they only talk to other people on the internet, and that's the only human interaction they can get. So I guess

it's kind of a catch-22. When you think about it. Suck a lot. You spent like that entire wrap-up thing trying to like piece one together, didn't you? I mean, yeah, I had a text file open that I was typing out to make sure the exact wording was right.

I mean, the crazy thing is she could have just come up with something off the spot. It's kind of a catch-22. She took so much time. The website is always thefpl.us And if you're in a catch-22 of some sort, you should come to Ball Pit and tell us about it. And, uh,

you know, I like Ball Pit. I like Ball Pit a lot. Yeah. But after listening to Frank West doing that incredibly sexy reading about crushing balls for F Plus Live, I was just listening to that because that has come out now. It sure has. In the past.

In the past it's come out. Yeah, we've all been listening to it it's been so great because it's already out I was listening to that and I thought it was great and I was like oh my god I want to cause damage to balls man what a catch 22 you should go to ballsnuff.club

hope you like midi ballsnuff.club Hope you like MIDI. Ballsnuff.club. It is a site that Boots created. Enjoy. We're good. Okay, bye-bye. Bye. Bye. He's been with the world And I'm tired of the soup for sure

He's been with the world I wanna have this prophylactic tour Afraid nobody around here Comprehends my potato Guess I'm just a spud boy Looking for that real tomato. Swamp patrol. Nowhere to go.

Moving robots from under reality. All right. I'm going to not look at that window. Okay. So, Lou. Yes? Very last thing, and the very last thing is a choice. It's a choice.

All right? All right. So, what are you going to close this out on what are you going to close this out on are you going to close this out on there's more memes okay are you going to close this out on porn colon a love hate relationship oh man the one that Portrax

just posted will be in the show notes. Go ahead. I'll wait. Or my internal conflict with sex.