The F Plus - 233: Yes, But Can I Get A Man's Opinion?

Episode Date: November 21, 2016

Near as we can tell, the website Girls Ask Guys exists for two reasons: To provide women with insight on the innermost thoughts that drive the actions of men, and to surprise you with autoplay music and ads. Near as well can tell, the website Girls Ask Guys succeeds at one of those two things. This week, The F Plus has no patience for your dumb smart people games.

I'm an Asian man looking to have swag. Where are my black homies out? Where are my black homies out? Because I know they won't smile at me Now ask yourself why this should be But if you want the answers If you want the answers Don't ask me This is the F Plus Podcast, an informative place for gender relations and terrible things, read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.

Too often boners help girls welcome too. Nutshell Gulag. What does it mean when he holds my tummy? Your friend on the internet, this is Adam Bozarth. What is your all-time favorite video game box art? My all-time favorite video game box art for a video game is Killzone 2,

followed by Infamous and Killzone 3, and finally Call of Duty World at War. For the first time on this podcast since 2012, welcoming back Zarla Shedanza. Girls, would you like to get sex coupons? It's a good deal. And lemon. What do you think of these abs?

Hey. There is, by the way, no picture in that. Look at these abs. He just describes his abs. Nice. They're top notch. They're really great. They're really good.

You can trust me. I guess I think they're great. Did they turn you on over the internet? Hey, Elf Plus. Hey, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. So I want to ask the two ladies in this podcast right now.

I'm talking about Zarla and Nutshell Gulag. I have a question for you. Have you been interested in the mind of men? I try to avoid men in my daily life, if possible. I can't imagine why. Yeah, I don't get out much. I've weighed the pros and cons, and you know, it's... No, no, no.

Safe bet, safe bet. Well, I want to talk to you about a special website that was brought to us by Hero F Plus Live. I'm talking about Montreth. And this website is called girlsaskguys.com. That sounds

unbelievable to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Nutshell, I have great news for you. I have great news for you. Which is that Girls Ask Guys is finally a site where you can learn the opinions of men. Wow. I don't get enough of that in my daily life.

I've been looking for that for so long. Without that, I just don't know what to do. You know, I tried Forbes, but no, no guys. Yeah, no. And it's great, too, because it's called Girls Ask Guys. The site implicitly gives men permission to share their opinions. Oh, wow. Oh, good.

gives men permission to share their opinions. Oh, wow. Oh, good. Now, see, the thing I like about this is that I don't actually have to be anywhere near the guy who's giving his opinions, and I can just, you know, not open the website. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheers, Webster. So, we're going to start off. I might actually not give you any individual links here, because I just went to a link

and it started some autoplay music for some reason. It sure does. Good idea. So, nutshell, if you'll take the very first question here. All right. What is the best way to let a girl know she can fart around you? Actually, that sounds like a question from a guy, though. Unless you're a woman who, a woman who prefers

other women. It's called Girls Ask Guys. Men do not misuse systems. I apologize. I was coming from a strictly heterosexual point of view and I shouldn't have. Alright, so what is the best way to let a girl know she can fart

around you? Since I am a person that does not care less if a girl farts around me it does not turn me off or make me think anything less of a girl I would rather a girl just farted and relieved herself

than got a sore tummy Yeah, I'm sure that's why I just want you to be comfortable, baby That's all farted and relieved herself and got a sore tummy. Yeah, I'm sure that's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want you to be comfortable, baby. That's all. I personally feel the situation of me not caring and a girl holding her gas and because she's embarrassed to fart is silly.

How do you let a girl know she can feel free to fart whenever she gets gas without it becoming awkward or weird? I'm like picturing him kneeling in front of her and taking her hands and going, I need to talk to you about this, please. Darling, I think we've reached the point

in our relationship where we can totally fart around each other. Light some candles, softly touches her hand. I've been thinking a lot about you and specifically your farts. Not in a weird way, not in a weird way. Not in a weird way. It's okay.

Do you ever think that maybe sometimes people don't want to fart in front of people? I don't think that. No. I reject that idea. In my experience, not at all. If you know a girl has gas when she is around you and you know she's uncomfortable from holding it in, That's some really keen, like, observation skills there. Yeah, she's, like, rolling on the couch holding her stomach, like, moaning or screaming.

It was like, What's wrong, baby? No, I can't talk about it. It'd be weird. It's too much. My name is Smile, beautiful. Oh, boy. I think I've met you at a bus stop.

Oh, you have. I'm at every bus stop. You're such a sweetheart. Oh my gosh. I think you should just tell her straight up. Just tell her you don't care about stuff like that. It's silly and it won't turn you off or make you anything any lesser or her because humans are humans and humans fart.

Wow, that's a fucking good t-shirt. It's got the Spencer's Gifts. Humans are humans and humans fart. Humans are humans and humans fart. Thank you, Depeche Mode. Don't make it seem like you know she's afraid to fart in front of you. Excuse me, my name is Meow Cow. Meow Cow, alright, hi.

After a relationship has gone on for a while, guys tend to fart around the girl. Kids often fart around each other, making it almost like a contest. If the relationship is stable, you might try the same. For example, build up the biggest fart imaginable, and while she's using your restroom, pull down your pants.

What? To let the fart escape? How tidy your pants! Press your butt to the bathroom door and let it rip. The vibration should make the door shake like an epileptic kid watching Pokemon. When she opens the door with the look of vile disgust, just smile and say, World Record!

She may try to beat your record next time. That's one option. That's one of several options. That's a very plausible scenario. She may try to do that if she's also a 13-year-old boy. I think I've seen that scenario in a Seth Rogen movie. Yeah, wall farters. Yeah.

I heard wall farting is really good, you guys. I heard it's actually a good movie. I know, man. I think she's into wall farting. Okay, I've got another question for you. What's that? A girl lied to me about not having Facebook. Is it worth trying to talk to her further?

See, we're both starting our new job, and I had been talking to her. It was our second day, and I asked if she had a Facebook because I wasn't sure we'd see much of each other going forward. She said she didn't, but she lied! Should I talk to her if I see her again? And did I do anything wrong? Updates. Just to clarify, just to clarify,

I'm not upset or angry at all. I was just wondering if it was her way of saying, go away. I never intended to confront her or make a fuss of it. I just thought it was slightly odd as nobody has done that with me before. Oh, really? Is this a guy asking girls?

This is a guy asking girls on Girls Ask Guys. On Girls Ask Guys. Yep. It's Girls Ask Guys, so it's a guy asking girls. Again, it could be a girl asking about another girl, but it could be. Okay. Could be. Again, it could be a girl asking about another girl, but could be. Okay.

Could be. Well, what's... Okay. Yeah, I'm M-A-X. Max gonna give it to ya. Yeah, I'ma be real with you, bro. Oh, no. No, no, you shouldn't talk to her again.

The woman in here who are telling you that you should, they're justifying it because they could see themselves lying and doing the same thing. You don't trust someone that would lie to you, man. Anyone should know that, plain and simple. She flat out lied. She didn't say, yeah, I'll give it to you next time or something. She lied, which means she's capable of lying and untrustworthy. No, I mean, that's a tautology that I think is totally solid.

She lies, capable of lying. If you have ever lied, if you're ever capable of lying. If you ever lied, you're capable of lying. And that means you're completely untrustworthy. It's true. One strike, you're out. Cut the line, let the fish go. There was no

line there. There was never any line. My name's not Max, I'm M-A-X. Okay, M space A space X. No, underscores, dammit. My name is Jared216. Oh, no. The people who I

have met that are most dishonest either have two Facebooks or no Facebook. Too much or too little. The guy on the left has two Facebooks. The guy on the right has one. One of them always tells the truth and one of them always

lies. You can only ask them one thing on their timeline. It doesn't matter. It's all pictures of kids. I worked with a guy that said he didn't have a Facebook page. Turns out all the people that have had a problem with him would have found him. Don't forget the child support. I won't. had a problem with him would have found him. Don't forget the child support!

I won't. Remember that Comedy Central game show? Don't forget your child support? Yeah, on after the man show. That is a weird reference. I'm sorry for that one. Was that a real thing? What was that a reference to? It was a reference to?

It was a reference to Don't Forget Your Toothbrush Oh no I've never heard of that Didn't make any sense Sorry He stole from my company Also I am contacted by a number of girls That have actual Facebook pages Some that I am friends with And they wanted me to add their other Facebook page.

Click here for more info. Yeah, join my professional Facebook page that has more content. This is how LinkedIn started. Nope. Sorry, the Facebook page of a cheater

is pretty obvious if you look close. Usually no lady men friends. No friends outside of sexual preference. Joined Facebook recently. Under 50 friends total. Lots of posts laden with sex sexy stuff. And no family. Take your games elsewhere.

I don't have time for dumb fake people that think they're playing smart people games getting away with it. You damn cheery orphans. Yeah, hell yeah. I don't have time for dumb fake people that think they're playing smart people games. Getting away with it. Smart people game championships.

This site, once again, called Girls Ask Guys, provided by Montreth. I'm wondering when I'm going to find anything in the document that actually fits the mission statement of the website. The title is ironic.

Okay. Oh! The end. The end. Does it have a comma in it? Girls, ask guys. Girls ask guys. Oh, it's the girls ask guys.

I love their one hit wonder. Okay, so this next question, Boots, what's the question that you want to ask? Ladies, do you prefer a man who served in the military or a man who didn't? And then... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's sing it. Read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So which? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because he has demonstrated leadership qualities and pure awesomeness. It's verifiable.

Updates. 41 seconds. Okay, let me rephrase this question. If the man served in the military, would you think any different of him than if he didn't? I mean, you would think that he didn't serve in the military, I guess. I mean, that would be a difference. True. That's the kind would be a difference. True. That's kind of the answer I'm looking for.

Let me rephrase the question by asking a different question. Nutshell, you are Pooper89. I wanted to read that name. Oh, I'm so sorry. Hi, I'm Pooper89. The whole military thing is kind of a turn-off to me. Not as much as having a kid, though.

Having a kid? Having a kid is a turn-off. I can't tell if the rest of that is also Pooper89, or they just forgot to put it. Whatever. Take is also Pooper 89 or if they just forgot to put it. Ah, whatever. Take it, Pooper 89. Anonymous! Men in military are a bit of a dick

and think they're all that when they're not. Men not in military are nicer and not so much of a dick and all. More appropriate for anonymous. And not so much of a dick and all. More appropriate for Anonymous. And not so much of a dick and all.

Not so much. Men not in military are nicer. Adam, do you have a question about Sweden? Is Sweden a feminist hellhole? That's what I hear from the internet and the majority of news websites.

They even have a political party completely made of feminists. Another news heard is they were meant to peace it down. SS madness. So I'm asking again, is Sweden a feminist hellhole or am I just fooling myself? Answers from Swedish men are, and those who live there are welcome.

I'm Bubble Trouble from what I hear. I'm sure you're an expert on this subject. Definitely. I'm obviously a Swedish man. From what I hear. Swedish men have no respect for their women at all, so I looked up a Swedish man From what I hear Swedish men have no respect for women at all So I looked up a few YouTube videos On Sweden

So my sources are cited I like that it's so Swedish men have no respect for women Therefore I looked up a few YouTube videos Just to confirm Feminism has basically swept an entire nation. It's pretty out of control, too.

They don't want men to sit down to pee. Well, then how is it so bad? So you can all calm down. Put down the torches. They created some law stating that men have to pay some extra charges since domestic violence is more common to happen to women.

Or something. The women expect the men to pay for everything. The funny thing is, Swedish women aren't even that pretty! Their faces are rather ugly. Idiots see the blonde hair and think they are pretty. That's a stereotype. I, mind you, I don't care

about what goes on in Scandalavia. I just found it rather interesting that feminism swept the whole region. From coast to coast. You've got a follow-up to that. Sorry, I had one more thought that I didn't include, but it's very important, and it is that the men aren't that hot either.

Aww. Equal opportunity. Just wanted to say that Coco Chanel adds, most are pretty. Thanks, Coco. I'm Mason Fielde. Okay. I've heard of contraptions being created to allow women to pee while standing up,

so they could just be equal using these. Great, yeah, sure. They're contraptions, and I'm thinking like a Rube Goldberg machine, you know? I'm thinking like those exoskeleton suits from Aliens. You're wearing one of those exoskeleton suits, you are equal to everybody else, it's true.

It's true. Well, I think we're getting closer to the message now because this post is titled Boys and Girls. Do you sleep nude? If so, how many days a week?

I have some follow-up information, which is that I'm doing a poll, by which I mean a person from Poland. I'm doing a poll. by which I mean a person from Poland. I'm doing a poll. And he loves it. You're fucking a giant rod. I'm doing a poll

for my internship. Interesting. And I am not bisexual. Okay. And then, Nushel, you are 3G money 3. Oh, goody. Somebody whose username is definitely their password.

Okay. Well, if it's warm in the room, I'll sleep nude. And if I've just had sex, I usually fall asleep still nude. Otherwise, I usually sleep in boxers. So that's probably three to four days per week that I sleep nude for one reason or another. I have sex a lot. A lot, a lot. I have to change my underwear so much.

As I'm sure that this is crucial information for your internship, I have to change my underwear so much. As I'm sure that this is crucial information for your internship, you may want to make sure that you spell pool correctly in your findings. Boom. Mic drop. Get off the fucking internet. Boom. Adam, what do you got? I love to lick fresh plates that come out of the dishwasher.

Am I weird? Read description. I just want to destroy something that's beautiful. I was going to say, yes, you're weird, but since you compelled me to read the description, now I have to reserve judgment. Yes, you're weird, but since you compelled me to read the description, now I have to reserve judgment. I always love to visit people and wait until they go to the toilet or something. If I hear or notice that the dishwasher is done running, I love to go there and lick as many plates as possible before the person living there comes back.

Jesus Christ. My friend of mine who caught me in the act, he beaded me up and told me we were no longer friends. Yes, correct. It turned me on. I loved it. Turn me on. I love it.

Especially when there is some soap on it. Is this weird? Be honest. Be honest. Be honest. That's trend. You're weird, that's for sure.

It just gives me a huge boner lull. That's even weirder. And the idea of you thinking this is weird gets me totally finding some place.

We must team up. I like to sneeze into people's fridges. Oh no, Guy Fawkes. Take control of your dishes, Gotham. We are watching. And then, Zarlala you have a question How often How often you are honey

Nowadays I'm more a rose What about you How about you guys and grills Is it bad Updates 5D is masturbation is the best thing to do When you are honey 1D why am I always Honey Updates. 5D is masturbation is the best thing to do when you are honey.

1D, why am I always... Oh, honey! Hello! I'm invoker. MVP! MVP! I'm invoker and you just pooped my cheery. No longer, honey, thank you. You just pooped my cheery. You just pooped my cheery. How cheery, cheery, cheery, cheery.

I'm not cheery anymore. Hoony. Now I'm feeling hoonie. Honey, honey, honey, honey. I got plenty, honey. Alright, there is a piece on here called, Do you think paternity tests should be required after every birth? What?

Yeah. Do you think paternity tests should be required after every birth? After every birth. Where did the child come from? Regardless of whether or not anybody's questioning it. But we're going to skip that. And we have a question for girls only and uh yeah yeah so uh nutshell you're about to be a cheesy souffle you're a girl after all

but i have a question for you which is that girls only i want to know how people would judge me on a specific feature of my appearance. Using your own experience. Oh, no. Your own experience with your specific feature of your appearance? Yeah, using your own experience with my picture. How would people judge me? Okay.

So, I've got an unkempt beard that is short on the sides. About 1.5 inches at the front. My hair is wavy and 2 inches long. Huh? Huh? Wow. Brown hair and I tend to leave it untrimmed and messy. Well, I'm horny for sure.

I don't shower, ladies. The second features are behavioral. I walk straight. I walk upright. Round of applause. I walk on my two man legs. I'm not scared by loud noises or cats or anything. I can run a vacuum without running away.

I know how to use a napkin. I no longer sleep nose to anus. When I approach people, I talk about various topics. I don't assume what I don't know unless I mention that it is an assumption. I don't play at angles mention that it is an assumption. I don't play at angles

and if I'm being toyed with, I casually leave the contact. No, you don't. Oh, I causally leave the contact. Concerning these three features, appearance, behavioral, behavioral

social, how would you receive me if I were to strike a conversation with you? For example, would you be cordial or interested in me? Why? How is that an example? I told you

everything about me. That's an example of you striking a conversation? It's a conversation about whether or not you'll be crucial or interested. I'm not a killer. I have a beard and I can talk. My human suit is original to me.

Would you be willing to give me your sex? A friendly word of advice. I post five questions a day. The best questions that I tend to give MHO My honest opinion. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

Are ones that have a position and reasons that justify it. I have no problem giving the same person MHO each time. No kidding. Yay! You're welcome. Wow. Wow. A rare man who's not

afraid to be honest with his opinion. That sounds interesting, but could I get a quantification on that? I carry around a tape recorder that says, I'll tell you what I think. Can you quantify your opinion? Okay, so this means you could possibly be getting 25

MHOs a week of me alone. That's a good exchange rate. Invest in this market. Yeah, but I sell behavioral with a U, so that means that it's a British MHO. Oh, Brexit. What's the conversion rate? It could actually be anywhere else in the world that speaks English. Oh, really?

Oh, okay. That is your payment if you enlighten me with new information and perspective. Who could say no to that offer? Act now. Supplies are limited on MHO. Send a postcard, too. You could receive eye contact. Send a postcard to You could receive eye contact

Um Well no not eye contact Furthermore If you are interested in my topics Then follow me What does Cheesy Souffle have to say Hi I'm Cheesy Souffle and

That's still promotion I wouldn't go for you on a physical level. You're unkempt and I prefer somebody who looks trimmed and well put together. I like a messy look, but in reality, that involves hair gel and styling. I think we could do well as friends, but I think even then it would be an acquaintance level. You have a very philosophical way of approaching things, as I've noticed. Sure do. I think personality-wise, we wouldn't quite fit perfectly, but I definitely

think we could find a common ground, even if it ended up tending to disagree. I just now realized that my name is Plato. Oh, God. Because, of course, it is. That's not shadows on the cave, that's just filth okay excellent now why is the unkempt look a put

off let's say i'm sitting at a table that is near yours and you notice this unkempt man what are the thoughts that run through your mind please don't talk to me please don't talk to me why are you sitting at my table don't go Please don't talk to me. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. You want me to talk to her. Why are you sitting at my table? Don't go. Don't go. Okay. Okay. Get out of here.

Okay. If I'm going to be brutally honest, I don't notice him at all. Personally, I want someone aggressive who wants to excel in the corporate world, who is strongly focused on their career. Someone who, unkempt, isn't necessarily a negative thing, but doesn't demonstrate to me someone who notices the small details. Granted, there are more than just clothes and hair that demonstrates that trait, but it's part of the larger puzzle.

So your problem isn't that I'm a killer, it's that you want a different kind of killer. Patrick Bateman, hold me please killer patrick damon hang in there hang in there because oh okay we're getting to that oh good physical attention will help someone excel in the workplace it shows an aggression and a willingness for competition it's that christian gray slash american psycho sort of Holy shit! It's all about the next step of climbing the ladder. I was joking. Oh my god! Wrong ladder. Okay.

Doesn't matter. Uh, Patrick Bateman doesn't... Climbing the American Psycho over Christian Gray. That's a ladder. Patrick Bateman never gets that promotion, by the way. Yeah, but he's a real go-getter. He doesn't even get the nice business cards.

You could say he's very aggressive, though. That is true. And Plato responds, that's a very helpful post. Thanks. This now solidifies my opinion of women. I believe, Zarla, I believe this next post is actually by a woman. I think, I think, I think. I'm doubtful. Well, I don't know.

Let's find out. So this post is called, Does He Like Me Over a Sandwich? Let's see. There's two ways that could go. does he like me over a sandwich okay i work at subway part-time and i'm like really really anal about the way i make sandwiches like i try to make them all look like they do on the pics and the commercials everything being folded neatly and evenly spaced and everything yesterday a cute guy walked in who was around my age or older and he acted like i was really impressed by the way I made his sandwich said he really admired the care I took

into it. I'm sorry I was so overcome with lust for a second there. I had to stop. Finally a woman who can make a sandwich the way I want. It's a really good sandwich you're making there. We're real divided now. I noticed that my smelly pile of Play-Doh looks like it does in the picture.

They use the term sandwich artist, but I never believed it until I saw you. I'm a sandwich artisan. I appreciate the effort I put into these. Okay. Said he really admired the care I took into it, and then he gave me his number and asked for mine. I'm not complaining because he was cute, but it seems kind of weird to get that way over the way I make a sandwich.

Is this weird at all? No, I don't know. I'm a blue calf. No guys like this quality. Sandwich artisans are unappreciated. It's possible I meant to put a comment in there and say the exact opposite of what I just said, but we'll find out.

No guys like this quality. When you were taking extra care of the sandwich, he was probably thinking of you taking extra care of him. I had a friend who has a perro, and she used to sing to this bird and feed it and pet it. It was a major turn-on, because I pictured her singing and petting me. lol also when girls are really affectionate with a dog and something you realize

what a good girlfriend they might make you caring for the sandwich pooting in the pieces down so perfectly he probably pictures you tucking him in under the covers or something what? you heard me yeah okay

how a girl treats her friends and something. What? You heard me. Okay. How a girl treats her friends animals and yes, even her sandwich are all our spies into what type of a girlfriend you would be. Yes, because every action we ever take is directly

Oh, fuck it. I can't even finish that. I just love that this guy made making a sandwich all about him. It's like, this sandwich is really about me, personally. I like it for different creepy reasons than you're expecting.

Listen, lady, what you don't realize is that your job is actually a metaphor. Whenever you hear Zarla's bracelet jingle, if you're reading along at home, that means you're supposed to turn the page. Oh! Okay. I thought that somebody just walked into Mr. Hooper's shop.

When you hear the cat cry, you gotta flip the tape over. Okay, so we're gonna do one without a question, without an answer. And let's see. Adam, I think you're gonna make the choice

here. So, option number one is, is it a bad thing that I look at older than my age? Is it a bad thing that I look at older than my age? Is it a bad thing that I look at older than my age? And option number two is, why do people make sexist jokes

but hate 9-11 jokes? Sexist jokes but hate 9-11 jokes. Fair question! Why do people think I don't look back my age? Why do people hate sexist jokes? Okay, let's weigh out the pros and cons of these two options.

I guess I need... Yeah. I think, no, it's just general curiosity. I want to know why people love sexist jokes but hate 9-11 jokes. I think we all want to know that. Or did I get that backward?

No, you got it right. You got it absolutely right. hate 9-11 jokes. I think we all want to know that. Or did I get that backward? No, you got it right. You got it absolutely right. So your name is... I'm going to go to the page and I'm going to get some autoplay music. Oh, dear. Oh, that's not a name I was expecting. Okay, Adam, your name is KKKK.

Oh, wow. Wait, give it to me one more time. K-K-K-Katy, but it's four Ks. K-K-Katy. Maybe it's K-K-K-Katy, like that stuttering song, you know? K-K-K-Katy. I'm afraid to believe that. It's all fine.

Everything's fine. There isn't even a control to turn the... Oh, if you scroll down a bit, the music stops. That's weird. Well, yeah, but it'll open up on the next page. Huh. If you right-click on a tab, you actually get a mute. If you scroll to the top again, the music starts again. Oh, helpful.

Okay. So, uh, so Adam, what's your question? Why do people make sexist jokes behind an 11-joke? Oh my. Did I do this voice already? I don't know.

Go ahead. Is that your new life? It fits. I mean, this episode. I'm KKKKD126. Katie on 26. So just wondering why so many people think it's okay to make jokes on sexism but get so offended

if someone makes a joke on 9-11. 9 backslash 11. 9 backslash 11. Whenever I hear someone make a sexy joke I just get so offended I end up making a a sexist joke. I just get so offended I end up making a 9-slash-11 joke. That's a weird reflex.

Well, these people then decide to call me evil and say my joke was offensive. Don't they know sexist jokes are offensive, too? And I'm not saying 9-slash 11 isn't funny. I'm just wondering how people could be such hypocrites. I'm not saying that 9-11 is funny, but you seem to have like a back catalog of 9-11 jokes.

I'm not trying to troll or anything, but I was wanting to know the reason why. Just tell me the reason why. Why is it so offensive to make fun of the fact that a thousand Americans lost their lives in a terrorist attack on a single day?

Hey guys, hey guys, how many 9-11s does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many? How many? I don't know. You're supposed to say, shut up, Katie. No. I see. Look, don't post sexist jokes in the comments or you will be reported because joking or not, I'm still offended.

So what are your guys' advice for this question? You are very weird, Katie. I don't know. I'd kind of like to meet this person and maybe have a beverage with them just to see what they would do. I want to see like a live Periscope feed of this person at like a Comedy Central roast. Oh. Oh, man. I'll have a 9-11!

I'll have a 9-11! Boots? I want to ask you something. I started jerking in 14 age and I got the sperm! Good for you. I'm not getting sperm. My age is 18. Oh. I started jerking in 14 age and I got the sperm.

But after that, the sperm will not eject. Ellipsis. Frowny face with a nose. WT is the problem. Wow. The sperm's going down with the ship. They're not ejecting. They're not ejecting.

I'm the last Girl Scout. Try jacking off with a hand Covered in natural yogurt Whoa What? This will trick the penis into thinking it is already Covered in sperm and make it more open To the idea of creating its own

Wow They really do have minds of their own Oh my god That is amazing I remember the first time sperm got on my penis My penis was like Ew no homo You did this to yourself penis

And he's like oh I'm sorry I'm dumb The sperm's great I want more of it I want more make more please For the rest of your life Once you've got the penis Used to being covered in white sticky stuff, work up to letting other penises ejaculate over it.

This is not gay in the slightest. Only putting it in your bum bum makes you gay. Seeing other penises have such a terrific time ejaculating all over the place will make it really feel at home. And before you know it, you'll be coming everywhere! That is some great, great advice.

I don't like this new Pokemon. It's a PS Playdate! No one does. That one guy. That's a good joke post. Scrolling up to page 10 of the documents here if a woman rejects you do you stop talking to her slash not be friends with her

if a woman rejected me I would never talk to her again and we won't be friends. Great. Great. Right. Good. Yeah.

Good. So everybody wins. I'm breaking up with you. You can't break up with me. I quit. No, it's like, hey, you think you might want to go on a date? No. And then I could never talk to you again.

Say goodbye to these. What were you grabbing at that moment? A can of V8 and a couple of ping pong balls. A neckbeard and a fedora. So why be around someone who doesn't want to date me? I have no male friends either, or all my male friends want to date him.

What could you possibly gain from hanging out with a woman? Ugh. A lot of opinions that aren't my fucking opinion. Man, no kidding. I don't see the point of talking to a woman once she rejects me. Call it sour grapes or

whatever. Once you reject me, it will be the last time we ever speak. This is like a kid going out the door and going like, I'm really leaving. I'm really leaving. I'm not coming back.

I'm leaving forever. And you're like, yeah, whatever. Seriously. I'm seriously leaving. I'm really leaving. I'm not coming back. I'm leaving forever. And you're like, yeah, whatever. Seriously. Seriously. I'm seriously going. I mean, you could probably beg me, but I don't think it would work. I mean, you could try. You could try, but I don't think it would work.

Yeah, goodbye. Okay, but I'm leaving now. Attention, women on the internet. You get one shot with me. Don't blow it. Would you stop talking to a woman if she rejects you? I would.

Getting that impression. Sure. And then we're going to have a little tenet there, Nutshell. Your name is Mousaurus. Oh, goody. Well, I would definitely be happy to have rejected you when the

only reason you're talking to women is to date them. Are the bullet points mine, too? No. Okay. Asker. And I... And I would never talk to you again.

Win-win for us both. I never said it otherwise. That's your opinion, and I disagree. Mainly because I usually don't ask a guy out solely based on looks. Then again, you're a guy and probably have no care for anything else. I only ask a guy out once I've gotten to know him a little on friendship basis and not by looks alone, because then I can conclude if he's willing to start out as his friends,

he may not necessarily only have one thing in mind. Okay. I like that Tyrell456 there would end up talking to one of his friends and be like, Hey, how's the internet today? They're all lesbians.

I gave him a chance. The whole internet? The whole internet. Like, literally, I picked a fight with everybody in the thread. Literally every page. I picked a fight with everybody in the thread. I pick the fight with everybody in the thread. Okay.

Boots, take the very next post on this page here. The next question? It starts with ladies. Oh. Okay. Ladies, have you ever had this the next question? It starts with ladies. Oh, yeah, okay.

Oh. Ladies, have you ever had this happen? When having sex, you put your hand on your stomach and you can feel the dick in there moving. What? So, I'm going to clarify. Well, after I came back from that away mission on that alien planet.

Seriously. Alright, so I'm going to clarify it. Well, after I came back from that away mission on that alien planet. Yeah, seriously. All right, so I'm going to clarify. So, here. Ladies, have you ever had this happen? When having sex, you put your hand in your stomach, and you can feel the dick in there moving. Right, right, right. Just trying to see if this happens often. It's innocent curiosity. It's innocent.

Just because that happens with my wife. All right. It's time to talk about periods. Okay. Zarla, do you have a question that you want to ask about the period? I don't know which period, like Victorian or Elizabethan or...

The punctuation mark work do men find the period disgusting i obviously don't enjoy it myself but it's nature my boyfriend however treats me like it's the most disgusting thing on earth we are not having sex and I have to wash my laundry separately from his, although there is no blood visible. Whoa. That's interesting. She's not doing his laundry for him? I'm shocked. You can't put your shirt in there.

His laundry has to say kosher so he can eat off of the sheet. It's a milk and meat thing. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For five days every month her laundry has to go to a hut. How do you guys handle it with your girlfriends? Slash, how do your boyfriends treat you? And then, Adam, you are a mature man named Austin Man.

Austin Man. Keep girls' ass guys weird. A mature man knows it comes with being a woman and being with a woman. I find that women are their most responsive during their period, so I just put

down some old towels and get busy. I don't care if it looks like we sacrifice a small animal when we're done. It does get busy, but I'm picturing working on the shed. Or painting the house. Yeah, in the nude.

While having your period. And it looks like a small sacrifice of a small animal when you're done. Free bleeding while I'm putting up a shed. Boots, do you have any weight loss advice? Hell, should I substitute food with alcohol

to lose more weight? Absolutely. Oh, of course. No downside. Nothing can go wrong. I have a terrible food addiction and literally can't stop eating I used to weigh

172 oh no and now I weigh 192 oh no could be kilograms I might have to wear an extra large could be kilograms oh okay if it's kilograms then holy shit I might have to wear an extra large. Could be kilograms.

Oh, okay. If it's kilograms, then holy shit. Everyone notices my weight gain. I am desusted by it. But I need to lose more weight. But I need food. I literally need it

I cannot put it down I literally can't I can eat more than thousand calories a day I can eat more than thousand calories a day I want to stop but I can't I figure if I drink

instead of eat I won't gain as much weight I know calories in beer I'll drink as drink instead of eat, I won't gain as much weight. I know calories in beer or anything like that. Yeah, no, I'll drink as much as I eat. Yeah. What could go wrong? Yeah, because there's liquid, I'll only be peeing, right? I'm drunk, my self-control will be much better. And you know, there's no calories in alcohol.

It's just like water. Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, there's no sugar. Sugar is It's just like water. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, there's no sugar. Sugar is not part of this at all, so it's fine. Take that, dare. Nutshell, you have a very Portland question to ask. Am I a hipster?

Do I have to dress like a hipster? If not, what am I? I miss 2005 so much. Alright, a few people I know have been calling me a hipster and I wasn't to know the boot fits. I like almost anything. What kind of boots? Like, is it an Ugg? Is it a rain gear?

I like almost anything from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and early 60s. Okay, so you're a weird. I wear dress slacks, ties, bow ties, colored shirts, and sports coats regularly. If I don't have the above on, I'm probably wearing a plaid shirt, TL tucked in, and an Ivy cap. I call it my Quiet Manhattan John Wayne movie. I buy some older

records and hang them up on my wall. Old country 50's, 60's movie ACDC and President related. What? President records? Is that Presidents of the United States of America? Yes!

Like the Peaches song? No, I think literal Presidents of the United States of America? Yes! Like the Peaches song? No, I think literal presidents. Yes! Here's LBJ talking. Nixon speech LP. Half campaign songs. Yeah, I got the checker speech on 45.

I read a lot. I read a lot of King. People should listen to the clip of LBJ ordering his, I believe, pants. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the fucking best. Talks about his taint and his nutsack. Yeah, yeah. And his bunghole. His bunghole.

Yeah, you don't want it riding up into his bunghole, you understand, boy? He nicknamed his penis Jumbo. Okay. Thanks for that piece of information, Adam Ruins Everything. Thank you. I read a lot of Stephen King And military history books If I could afford it

If I could afford it I'd wear a suit and hat And not those strange small ones you see people wear Every day I listen to older music Like a giant cowboy hat I listen to older music Mostly 50s giant cowboy hat? I listen to older music, mostly 50s, 60s, Johnny Cash and Frank Sinatra. What happened to ACDC?

What happened to the president? No, see, I only put ACDC on the wall, so I don't actually listen to it. Oh, yeah, yeah, for the terrific cover art that those albums have. Like that back in black cover is so beautiful. I'm trying to get a Letterman jacket for my varsity letter. I like the autumn and Oktoberfest-ish German stuff. My girlfriend and friends call me a hipster, and my parents refer to me as Kramer.

Do I sound like a hipster? Because I'm into racial epithets. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Not that I plan on changing. Okay. Am I too much of a dream girl? I mean, it's cute that you want to be a hipster, I guess.

Yeah. Am I a hipster? I was born in the back of a time machine you're just a very odd young man that apparently dresses in his grandpa's clothing or a really cool lesbian

could be and the username is Sterling Archer oh no am I a hipster right now? Remember when people hated hipsters guys Yes Man Simpler fucking time It was a nice time

It was a nice time I'm so angry about that Trucker hats I'm gonna go to Galapagbon, I'm so angry about that! Trucker hats! I'm gonna go to Galapagos and I'm gonna wear my white belt and listen to the killers. You're riding a weird bicycle! That makes me so

mad! The chunky glasses and the tight jeans. Can't stand it. God damn it! That's the worst thing that's ever happened to America! Chunky jeans and tight glasses. Tight glasses. It's okay, we've got alcohol. Zerly, you have a question you want to ask about license plates, is that right?

Oh my god, does she? Can you order license plates online? Over a guy and army female want me dead. I have stopped talking to the guy already, but I'm still her target. She has been trying to get me in jail for a year and trying to get the guy to kill me. Well, he just came over and beat me because he was saying

I'm putting his family in danger by driving by his house and I'm knocking on his people door at night time. His people door? This is a Labrador. Your last name wouldn't happen to be Deck, would it? His brother said that he received pictures on his phone of me

from somebody he don't know. He said he had screenshots of my Facebook page with a picture of his mama and niece. Once again, I don't have a picture of that on my Facebook. As a matter of fact, I don't have a Facebook anywhere because I'm always accused. I have two Facebooks. Nobody has two Facebooks. That's a lie. No, they either have zero Facebooks or two Facebooks. That's the differential. That's only liars.

Oh, okay. zero Facebooks or two Facebooks. That's the differential. That's only liars. His brother and friends also said that people threatening his family, whoever it is, frames it as me, and the guy who beat me was pissed because whoever it is is putting his family in danger is having me as the suspect. The people rise through, and his family took a picture of the license plate, and it came back to my mama name.

Mama name, mama name. My mama name. Do not speak my mama name My mama name Do not speak my mama name out loud It is too powerful My mama name is only for my children, thank you There'll be days like this, my mama name Mama name, mama name I had to get my car previously repowed

Which was a few months ago The car incident happens repeatedly still Every time he beats me, the girl in the army gets happy. But I have no idea what's going on. Before she deployed, she came down the hill with his gun and tried to make him use it on me. This won't stop until I get killed, and she wants that. All she's doing is framing.

Pictures. Discussions. Damn, you always framing. How can somebody ride around with plates that comes back with somebody else's name, but I already another car registered plates? Car was black, but I never owned one. They say that there were females in the car. I could tell from the smell.

An unquantified number of females. Clown car. I've been to... How many females can they fit in that car? I've been to jail over something I have not done also. She said it herself. She want me dead. I just don't know what to do because

all the evidence is pointing towards me, but I'm not doing anything. The more I don't do anything, they do stuff as me. I'm sitting here crying because I don't know what to do. So, to reiterate, can you order LicenseLights online? That was a journey. Hey, uh,

girls ask guys? I have a question. Yes. Will God help me find a virgin girl that I like if I refrain from masturbation for two weeks? That's in the Bible somewhere, I think. Yeah, sure. Follow-up question. Does that include government holidays?

Yeah. What, two business weeks? Okay. I sort of made an oath to God. Stop masturbating. Don't get mad, but I sort of made an oath to God. It's sort of an oath. I pledged my sort of fealty.

Okay. That I would stop masturbating for two weeks in hopes he will help guide me to a pretty virgin girl I would like. Sort of like fasting, but not pertaining to food. Would this help, do you think? Sure, because God's a magical

wish-granting fairy. I think so. Oh. I'm Oliveria Dev and dude what the two things you believe in god oh damn

awk that made me rub my goatee with my finger and thumb but two things think that some higher That makes me rub my goatee with my finger and thumb. But two things. Think that some higher power will help you find what you want. I'm 20, haven't dated a single girl, kissed one, or even got laid. I'm more virgin.

You haven't kissed one, but you really haven't had sex? I'm more virgin than extra virgin olive oil, but guess what? I'm bad at metaphors. I don't care. Do what you want. It's up to you if you let a divine power decide

your life, but you will end up disappointed. Like, let me answer your question, but also I'm a virgin. But now I'll answer your question. Look, dude, don't you want to be a virgin like me? It's really hard.

It's good character building for my stand-up act, though. Don't you want to be a joyless virgin like me? Atheism for joyless virgins in college. I'm not sure that there's enough sex to cure that person of being joyless. You'd be surprised. Okay. Oh, this is absolutely a nutshell one oh goody um yeah what do you want

to what do you want to tell a girl to do is there anything wrong telling a girl to do some workout my girlfriend is too soft she's insecure but I want to try and still build the relationship. My girlfriend is too buff. That was too soft. This girlfriend is just right. It's Baby Bear's girlfriend. I'm obsessed with girls with ass. It has been my favorite feature in a girl's body, but it turns out my girl's doesn't have it.

I told her if she can do squats, and she kept insisting that she can't, and that I should look her for who she is, which I did, but I just need her to grow that feature. Did I do anything wrong in asking? What do you think exercise is? A bicycle pump, apparently. This is where women get hot for me and my boner.

Because if I wanted to cheat on her, I would, but it turned out I didn't want to because I am into her so much. I believe you. And what a lucky, lucky girl she is. Women deserve

100% better. The missed story here is that she's too soft so he actually got stuck in her. So now he can't actually get out. Oh, wow. I would cheat on you if I could get out of this bitch! It's like marshmallow fluff and he's actually typing with his nose.

Baby, I just love you so much. I love you so much. Well, that means everything around but not including your ass. That is a problem. Well, he's saying that she does not have an ass to love. So, you know, if she had one, he'd love it too. She's too fat and has no ass, huh? I love 92% of you.

We could get to 100%. 92% is good, but we could get up there, you know. Just saying. She says she can't. She says she can't. I like I can't do squats. She says she can't. I've heard that before from her every time I ask.

Is it true that you swallowed semen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is an important question to ask guys. Girlsaskguys.com. I swallowed semen, and now I missed a period. One week overdue. Has this happened to you? Say yes. A little Dr. Seuss-y in there.

I swallowed semen and now I missed a period. One week overdue. Has this happened to you? How long was your period delayed for? Do you choose to sugar too, sir? Updates. 17 hours. I've never swallowed before. First time for my age. 17 hours. I've never swallowed before. First time for my age.

16 hours. I'm a female. Actually, 46. What? Whoa! Whoa! Okay, so we're setting a different kind of record. Wow.

Wow. Okay, but why are you asking this? Yes, it seems like everyone here is young. They've done lots of sexual acts. My profile is wrong. Okay. Wow. I don't know.

If swallowing after giving somebody a blowjob could make you not have your period, I think heterosexual guys would be getting a lot more blowjobs. We now know the cause of menopause. I like this 13-year-old boy that shows up to go, that actually happened to somebody once, I think. He tells this weird story about somebody getting stabbed, and then his knife gets semen on it. Yeah, it sounds like a dark lateral thinking puzzle or something. And then the fox eats the goose, and they're all pregnant.

Okay, if you flip the switch, one woman gets pregnant. One of the guys will come on his two Facebook profiles. It was an albatross. We are closing this episode with the Girls Ask Guys section on articles. These are some long form articles from the site. I think we're just going to do one here. Zarla, this piece is called

Why Do Girls Like Guys and Not Girls? Okay. We just don't know. I have a problem with that statement. Please don't have a good answer. Please don't have a good answer. Please don't have a good answer. Please don't have a good answer.

Oh shit, it's all slipping away! Why do girls like guys and not girls? Why do girls like guys and why do they not like girls? The few paragraphs before the section of the questions are just precursors to the four questions I ask or slash talk about in here. Girls will give up a lot more

looks, more than a guy will give up personality. What? What does that mean? Just keep going. In the free market. Looks and personality are both important to guys. Personality is a definite second, though. Doesn't even matter if the looks aren't there first.

Looks and personality are both important to girls. Looks are a definite second, though. They don't even matter if the personality isn't their first I think I can tell what they're saying They're saying that girls Will give up a lot more looks If a guy has a good personality But a guy will give up

A good personality If the person has good looks. Sure. These negotiations are breaking down. Important note. Girls will give up a lot more looks than a guy will give up personality. Important note. The sentence I put earlier.

Let's skip down just a little bit to question one. Question number one. Body. Girls sometimes say that the male body, when built with some nice-toned muscle, can turn them on. Citation needed. This is not true, though. Hey, wow. I made a joke, and then the next thing I did was exit.

Oh, my God. It came true. Oh, my God. Okay. Girl, not horny. Here's a couple of reasons that prove girls don't get turned on by male bodies. Example one, look at one. Ew.

When a guy sees a chick in a bikini, his initial thought is, dang, that's hot, and he's turned on. When a girl sees a decent-looking shirtless guy, her initial thought is, why is his shirt off? Okay. That's totally my thought process. That's very wounding. He's legit. He's legit. George Clooney slash Brad Pitt.

Brad is younger, way better body, but Dot doesn't like him because of his personality. Dot? Who's Dot? What the fuck, Dot? The Animaniac? What? Okay.

What are you doing here? This is my grandma's friend. Dot from the Animaniacs was very boy crazy. That's true, actually. George is older with an old man's body, but he's crazy hot. So, one of the fundamentals for your second argument here is that people don't find Brad Pitt hot? I'm just saying, like, no woman finds male bodies hot, but then she says that she does find people hot?

Yeah. Well, but only George Clooney. Yeah. Yeah, because he's an old guy, unlike Brad Pitt, who's, you know, 50-something now. By far, the best way to turn a girl on is to either look into her eyes and compliment her, or gently

stroke her whole body. Whoa. Her eyeballs, or kiss her on the neck. Tonsils, you know, just stick your hand in there. Little spaces underneath the fingernails. Start from the top of the head all the way down to the bottom of the feet. Now this is going to take about half an hour, but I guarantee you we're going to feel sexy at the end of this. Just bear with me. Basically, make her feel sexy example lots of guys with average looks get hot girls this is not rare most guys have below par bodies but lots still end up with hot girls and get loving so the only way they can be turning the girl on is by making her feel sexy special or loved not by taking their

shirt off in a sexy manner or anything. Everything media's told you is a lie. There's no such thing as strip clubs with, you know, male strippers and female customers. I feel so woke right now. They're just there out of scientific curiosity, like, why are you doing that? That's why they pass out lab coats at the door. Yep. Yep. Also... You ready to do science, ladies?

We're gonna crack this mystery eventually. I'm wondering what this one will do if I put a dollar bill in his g-string. Interesting. He begins to gyrate on me. I just noticed that all four questions that you ask include no question marks.

Hey, Zarla. Can you tell me what it forward slash like for guys? Where's that? Let's see. It's a little bit down. Let's see. Or is that a different article? Is it still in the same one?

No, just let me tell you what it forward slash like. Ah, there it is. Let me tell you what it slash is like for guys, so you can see where I'm coming from. A guy is writing this, alright. Well, that actually throws the whole guys aren't hot thing in a different light. A guy sees a hot girl with cleavage, and he gets horny and wants her. Do you see? Do you see?

Do you see? Do you see? Do you see? Do you see? Science is really effective. Spanning out. This is a waitress at a Hooters. Do you see? Do you see? The guy sees her and he wants her.

Five by five. Guys can't get turned on by seeing a cool car, having a good conversation, or feeling sexy themselves. What? What? What? What? What? A guy needs a girl to have sex. Isn't he just the cutest little pumpkin? Science. Just two guys standing around,

it's like, boy, if only there was a way that we could be having sex right now But we're missing an important element In order to get a girl She has to turn him on So he'll want to have sex with her She can't do that by telling him he's hot Or rubbing his back Or making him feel special

Those things have nothing to do with sex. You okay there, Lemon? Oh, you're so fucking hot. I really appreciate you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't have shit to do with shit. You start the sexy back rub, and it's like, no, get to the point. I don't have time for this.

That's a word I use to sell guys like you air conditioners and pantyhose. You know, I'm just saying, you make me feel really special, but I'm entirely indifferent to that. So what's question number two? Question number two. Personality. Girls often say confidence, among other personality traits, turn them on. Can you just tell me how this is possible, though? There are two

reasons why this isn't... There are two reasons why isn't true or possible. Brad Pitt really... really complicates things things and doesn't make sense. Okay, point one. This doesn't make sense. That'd make a great t-shirt. Brad Pitt really complicates things and doesn't make sense.

Brad is hot and confident, but some girls still don't like him. So obviously neither of those things really do anything for girls. I think the guy has a fixation here. Brad Pitt has been rejected by the female hive mind. I met a woman that doesn't like Brad Pitt, and I love Brad Pitt. What's wrong with women and me? Hey, what's up, ladies? I'm Brad Pitt. What's wrong with women and me? Shambles. Hey, what's up, ladies? I'm Brad Pitt's sex coach.

Just stay positive, man. One day, one day we'll pop that cherry. I don't see the correlation between getting turned on by personality and sex being such a physical act. Sex slash sexy things are physical, so mental slash emotional things can't turn someone on.

It's like getting turned on by a car, which we know is completely impossible. Nobody's ever been turned on by a car. That has not been cataloged carefully. Don't fuck a Brad Pitt hot. Don't fuck a Brad Pitt hut. As awesome and maybe sexy as a Lambo is. Oh, okay.

I think you might be turned around on your statement here. Yeah, exactly. It could never turn you on. You hear me? It's like getting turned on by a fox fur. I mean, not that I have ever thought about having sex with an anthropomorphic fox lady. That's disgusting! So filthy! Never have it! Stop it! Stop it! I have to find more plates

now! Humans are a carnal, physical, lusty type of sexy. Cars are just visual type of sexy. And are just visual type of sexy. And personalities are mental slash emotional. I don't know why cars were involved in this. But, alright.

They're not. They're never involved in this. I'm saying they're not. Just to make it clear, they're not involved. So what's question number three that has no question? Question number three. Girls. Almost every girl is at least vicarious. Don't you think it's weird that girls can only get turned on if there's girls around?

Wait. Lesbians? Isn't that the exact opposite of what your question was in the first place? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Lesbians. Girls like guys and not girls. But girls only like guys if there's other girls around. Like lesbians, straight couples, not guy-guy.

Yeah, no women like watching guy-guy. No single woman has ever liked two guys together. Never. They can get turned on by girl-girl action by going to a strip club with their boyfriends or girlfriends, and almost all of them wonder what it would be like to kiss or have sex with a girl. girl-girl action by going to a strip club with their boyfriends or girlfriends, and almost all of them wonder what it would be like to kiss or have sex with a girl. Almost all of them.

Even if they claim they would never want to, they still at least wonder what it's like. I don't really... I know. I know, because they go, hey, Trixie, have you ever thought about what it would be like to touch my hot breath? And then the music starts. And then Candy says, What sort of

porn are you watching, Boots? That doesn't sound legal. That's her trying to enunciate her feelings. They're watching walrus porn. They still at least wonder what it's like. I don't really get this, because you are a girl. You know what it's like, but that's a different topic. You can touch your own boobs any time, and that's the same thing.

Lesbians are weird. Guys don't do this ever, though. Never. Ever. Can girls only connect in a loving, emotional way with guys? Everyone, including girls, also say that the female body is more beautiful and sexy to look at than the male body. This is obvious from the above paragraph, plus even girls' magazines, e.g. Cosmo, are full of half-naked women.

This is obvious, I said. So if the female body is so sexy, and seeing a girl strip where two girls kiss can turn a girl on, what is it about the male body that's hot? It seems like nothing. Checkmate. Girls can get turned on by themselves and other girls, but when it comes to a guy, usually the only thing

he can do is try to make her feel sexy. Which, as I've discussed, doesn't make any sense. How come more girls don't end up becoming bi or less? I thought you said there already were. Is it really just the fact that girls can only connect in a loving, emotional way with guys?

Right, right, right. Because girls are emotionless robots. Lesbian's definitely not emotional at all. Yeah, there's no way to make an emotional connection with another woman. It just doesn't happen. Oh, definitely not. You've been listening to an excerpt from The Scum Manifesto by Mary Salinas. Was this written by Kevin Smith? There would have been way more blowjobs if it were written by Kevin Smith? There would have been way more blowjobs

if it were written by Kevin Smith. Good point. Question number four. Movies slash jealousy. The only thing I know for sure turns girls on is love scenes in movies. I think maybe the main reason girls ever get turned on is jealousy.

They see... What? That's not true reason girls ever get turned on is jealousy. They see... What? That's not true. They also get turned on when they ruin a man's life and steal his job. They see a girl making out with someone, so they want to. So because of jealousy, girls indirectly turn other girls on. Oh my god, that makes so much sense. That's how that works.

I didn't mean to turn you on. The movie's jealousy theorem. How do the girls make out with another girl? They just do it because there's other girls around. Yeah, I mean that scene in Wild Things, that just happened because they cast two women in that movie. Like magnets. They just happened to be filming at just happened because they cast two women in that movie. Like magnets.

We can't keep this part too long. They just happened to be filming at that time and decided to keep it with me. Fuck Kevin Bacon and his enormous boner. I'm going for you. So, F+, what did we learn from this reading of girls ask guys? Everyone's gay. Yeah.

Everyone's gay. So many things. Everyone should be gay if they're not gay already. Like literally 95% of the content of Redware is posted by guys asking questions. The female body remains a dark mystery.

And always the wrong questions, too. But that's Mantra's magic. That's true. Here's a side for you ladies. Can you think about me for a little bit? What about men? Yeah, because guys ask girls does not exist. I mean, or the URL doesn't do anything.

So I guess just because of that hole in the market, like we had to come here instead. It must have existed at one point, but shut down when the only question was, are you honing? A-S-L There is penis. Look at penis. You won't hook up.

I am honing. Maybe what happens is there's a question where guys can ask girls things. So you just type in guys space ask space girls. Enter. It takes you guys to like yeah fuck it close enough type because it's not i mean it's it's i mean i'm sure that some of it is mantra selection but like but like if you look at the site it's it's that like like like just a

sampling of randomly selected stuff on the home page is mostly is mostly guys i'm thinking maybe the guys just saw girls in the url and like oh my gosh girls i gotta get in here right now oh one of the one of the clickbait articles on this page is six things girls with small boobs are tired of hearing right look at her What the hell is that Yuck There's a lot of scumbags on this site But one place that you will not find Fucking internet

Hopefully Is Ball Pit of scumbags on this site. But one place that you will not find scumbags, hopefully, is Ball Pit. That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. Scumbag free. Yeah. Because I will delete your account and I'll go, fuck about your $10. While you're at it, go to

dam.dog, idiots.win, partypartypartyparty.party, ballsnuff.club. Okay, bye-bye! Bye! idiots.win party party party party.party ballsnuff.club okay bye bye bye bye bye I wanna work in Midtown wear a three piece suit I wanna hire a limo

just to hear my driver toot I wanna fancy penthouse So high it's hit from you Cause when I have these things I want Then I won't want you Is it committed girls? We'll have another boyfriend.

Is it? Is it committed girls? Is it committed girls will have another boyfriend? Is it committed girls?