The F Plus - 235: This Hub Is A Mess

Episode Date: December 11, 2016

This episode is about HubPages.com (don't forget the asshole).

sure that's that's fine yeah that's fine we did it i did it yeah i did it now i have to remember to excise that first clap i did prematurely all right what there's enough of a gap it's fine it'll be fine it'll be fine don't worry about what the fuck is wrong with that? Okay, no. Oh, my God. It's been a while, all right? It's been a while. I swear to God. How long has it been?

This never happens. Look, I just got excited, all right? It means I like the podcast. It's a compliment. This is the F Plus Podcast A largely useless place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. 87 sexting examples to turn a guy on by text. Number 24.

You jerked it recently? John Dost. It may be luff or even bluff at times. Kumquats up. It's dark. So goth. Easy fig cake recipe. Oh boy, it's Squiddy McConwy!

Oh my god, you guys, I am totally tripping ballsniff.club. And Lemon. We then give Harry's notable example of understanding and compassion, even towards his mortal enemies, greater weight than Bilbo's rather simplified urgency in survival and self-preservation. Advantage Harry Harry Potter. Boom. Did I take balls to do this? You did.

Great. Now I've got to make another goddamn website. And now it's recorded forever. Forever. And name cheap. Awesome. And now it's recorded forever! Boots, Boots, I have a suggestion for BallSniff.club. Okay, okay, listen to this. It's the exact same

site as BallSnuff.club, but, but, but, on the video, you like, badly superimpose a nose floating over the ball on each part. And it can be the exact same gif, exact same everything, but that's the only change you make. Like, the nose isn't connected to a head even, it's just a nose floating around the ball. On the exact same video I know you're never ever going to feel ashamed You're a knowledgeable nasty expert in the game

Hey F-Lust Hello Hello Lemon Hey Hey how does everyone feel about internet community? Hey, F-Lust. Hello. Hello, Lemon. Hey. Hey, how does everyone feel about internet communities? Positive. Positive? Sure.

And if you feel positive about internet communities, you should go to Ball Pit. Oh, really? No. If you don't feel positive about internet communities. Wow. Yeah, you're right. What he said. I want to redo that intro because I have nowhere to go from there.

Wow. I like my dumb early pitch for Bob Penn. Well, you broke him with it. He is broken. Yeah, he totally did. That was my fault. Exactly. Okay, I'll accept it.

Mm-hmm. Hey, F+. Burp. Hello, lemon. No, no. Not burp. Not burp. Oh, my God.

All right, no, here we go. This time for real. Here's time for real. It'll be fine. Everything's fine. Everything'sp. Oh, my God. All right. No, here we go. This time for real. Here's time for real. It'll be fine. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's totally fine. Hey, F+.

Hello. Hello, Lynn. Hi. Hey, how do you all feel about user-generated content? Great. I do it all the time. I feel as good about them as I feel about internet communities. What kind of user-generated content do you produce, Kumquaz?

Burps. That is valid. That is a user-generated content. It's created within the meat space. I want to tell you all about an exciting place on the internet for user-generated content. Is it Reddit? It is not Reddit. Well, it probably could be.

Let me go back into Submission Hopper and see what we can find. No, actually, this is a bit of a social network, I guess you would call it. And it is called Hub Pages. This is a document submitted to us by Heavenator and the Lesbiathan, who gives us the following math equation. Pornhub minus porn plus pages equals Hub Pages. I can't argue with that. It's a tautology.

Yeah, so this is a place where members or hubbers can post informational articles or hubs. Do they call themselves hubbers? Because that's terrible. They do. Thanks, Wikipedia. Wow. Sorry, just looking at the front page of what's currently happening on HubPages, I see...

Alex Jones? An article that says, where to find INFJ types, so we're in the right place. Perfect. Yeah, I also see Alex Jones and sexy female luchadors. My HubPage is big! But yeah, so once again, just to underscore that, this says that the members post informational articles. Okay? Informational articles.

So not opinion articles. No, no, no, no. Nor like articles that are based on just conjecture and stupidity. So like this review of Bruno Mars' album would be an informational. It would be an informational article. I'll tell you everything you need to know about that Bruno Mars. Yeah. So to that end, we're going to start here.

And John Toast, if you'll tell me the most common 10 symptoms of falling in love. I'd love to tell you about the most common 10 symptoms of falling in love. Falling love is the most common things in everyone's life. I love you. Everybody feels love in his life today or tomorrow. It's the most common and heavenly feelings in the world. There are many symptoms when you are in love, but some symptoms are common. The teacher said this report had to be two minutes long when I presented it, so I'm just whiling away the time.

had to be two minutes long when I presented it, so I'm just wiling away the time. Okay. Today, I'm gonna tell you about common ten symptoms of falling in love. Number one symptoms. Number colon one

symptoms. Number one symptoms. The most common symptom is you will start listings romantic soft songs. You will forget all about hip hop and classical music until you don't involve in an affair. Whoa. What? Okay.

So if I'm in love, like, I don't go to the window and to the walls. No, only when you have an affair. Yeah. Oh, actually, then I do go to the window and the walls. Yeah, absolutely. And also, most certainly the theme to Romeo and Juliet will not play. And when you will listen to those romantic songs, you will definitely think about your crash. This is written like an English as a foreign language student

using autocomplete. Like, think about crash? Like, you'll think about Dave Matthews? No, no, no, no. The Cronenberg movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think about fucking open wounds. No, you'll think about the Paul Haggis movie,

just listening to Careless Whisper going like, why did that win an Oscar? Fuck. What? Look it up. Anyways. I will. I will look it up. Second symptoms. Second symptom is

you will loss your concentration from your work and study. Every step of work you will think about your love. Sometimes it will seem very funny for your friends. Sometimes it will make you very shy. Okay. Yeah, this is...

I mean, this sounds relatable. And informational. What is the next symptoms? The third symptoms... You will start smiling without any reason. And especially, you will smile when you will be alone. Picture of a dolphin taking off a fox mask, I think. You're finally gone.

Fourth symptom. Singular this time. Every time and every moment, you will be thinking of your crash. Oh, that's supposed to be crush. Okay. Yep. Before go to bed and after wake up, ellipsis.

And every time you will be happy to think about your love, ellipsis. And sometimes you will think too much and you will plan for your whole life with your love. Another ellipsis. All right. I'm no longer going to say ellipsis. Hmm. Alright, I'm no longer going to say ellipsis looking at the rest of this article. Wow. Fifth symptoms. Another thing is your crash.

Avoid. You will never make your crash. Understand that you are feeling bad. You will behave like that. You don't fell nothing. Tongue emoji. Tongue emoji, tongue emoji. Tongue emoticon. Two tongue emoticons.

It happens. It happens. So, when you're in love, and you're around the object of your affection, you are emotionally distant and disguise your feelings? Is that what you're saying?

What I'm saying is tonguey face, tonguey face, it happens. Friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that greeting card. Six symptoms. Colon. For some reason. If your crash called you, you will surely smile when you see

his or her name on your mobile screen. Definitely, you will be very happy when you walk to his or her name on your mobile screen. Definitely, you will be very happy when you walk to him or her. Maybe your finger will be crossed. That's really excited by the end of that one. That was five exclamation marks in bold at the end, by the way. As this is

progressing, all of the ellipses and punctuation are just increasing in quantity. Yep. They're multiplying this is progressing, all of the ellipses and punctuation are just increasing in quantity. Yep. They're multiplying. It's a supernova of ellipses. Seventh symptoms. All of your friends and close cousins will be boring for you.

Yeah, fair enough. That's true. Yeah. Close cousins? Really? I don't know. When you spend your time with your friends, you will fell-bore. You will just wait when you are going to see your love.

Happy face. Yeah. Eighth symptoms. You will feel meaningless for all gossip and advice about relationship and affair, because then you will be thinking about your theory. What theory is that? Mario is actually communist.

That's what I'm thinking about. But that's just a love theory. I thought they were talking about the Big Bang Theory. But, bazinga. We all have our own theories. Night symptoms. Your main activity will create special attention for yourself from your love. Your dress looks will change and you will be very happy when your crash will just leave a simple comment about you.

This is so different from when I was having crashes. A simple comment wouldn't... No, it's a comment calling you simple. And finally, finally, the tenth symptoms. Friends are the most important thing is you will start matching with my symptoms if you are in love. In fact, you started. Hope this will really makes you happy. By the way, that was, I think, 10

exclamation points? Yes, yes, 10 exclamation points. And this article obviously very helpful, very useful, and that's why it has 89 comments, including Sunny. I'm Sunny. These symptoms

match to me. Yeah, well, I'm Sammy. Love is nothing in today's world. My name's VR. He is my best buddy, and how can I fall in love with him, but symptoms match me?

Yelena says, I have all ten symptoms. Hey, my name is Shit Bricks. Hi, Shit Bricks. Are you going to join this positive love fest here? Number one, your gram here is worthless. positive love fest here? Number one, your gram-ure is worthless. Number two,

you are terrible at setting up sentences. Fuck you, pot! Number three, these aren't symptoms, but reactions. Number four, I suck at being social. Yeah, absolutely. If there's anything I love more than bad grammar

It's people correcting bad grammar With their own terrible grammar So delightful So Squiddy Yes I want to talk a little bit more about romance Would you talk about romance with us? I would love to talk about romance with you.

Terrific. Thank you so much. So you're going to share with us some romance tips for older couples. Okay. I don't like where that went, but... This is an article by Penelope Hart, who is a good lady. Good lady. Goodlady. She's retired, but she teaches English

to business people in Rome part-time. Yeah, she's a poet. I like that the opening picture for this is what looks like a bunch of dead branches in a vase in what looks like a funeral home, you know? This is what your love is. Or some sort of witch's altar.

Yeah. This looks like like an altar like a this looks like a thing you'd find in a cave in Skyrim. It is a romantic bedroom.

Just to take like a quick break or a quick side some of her other articles include 50 cute doll names. Oh god. Delicious cauliflower

leaves in Italian tomato sauce recipe. Well I'd actually eat that. That's actually not that bad. Yeah. What to leaves in Italian tomato sauce recipe. I'd actually eat that. That's actually not that bad. What to wear in Rome, Italy in June. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without traditional Christmas pudding. Pretty flowers in vases ideas.

Like, for example, this picture right here. By the way, some of those Excuse me, awesome goth food party ideas Goth food parties? Yes Some of those cute doll names include Annie Panny This one is called How to Clean My House Using Old Rags

Just my house You can't clean your own house fuck you that dovetails nicely with romantic tips okay there's also a philomena as an important doll name and then na na nia is an important doll name giving a goth party is a great excuse to delve into all the bruised fruity sorts of foods and atmosphere that the dark side of human nature likes to dip into from time to time. You know, like blackberries. The most gothic thing in the world. They're black. Would you like some two tablespoons of Nutella? They're black like my soul soul and berries like my soul.

All right, all right. We need to learn about some old romance. Burning down raspberry churches. Anyways, old people have to fuck. Old people love a fuck. All right. On that note, senior citizens and romance. It can be very scary

launching into romance after years of habitual couple-dom. Those sweet kisses, that wonderful late night sex, the romantic compliments and the way you felt about each other's bodies that fueled your love for years at the beginning of your relationship might be sadly filed away in the

bottom drawer of that chest you never go to. Much like my chest that you never go to. The idea of being close in those romantic, familiar ways hasn't crossed your mind for ages. Or has it? Bum bum bum! The Columbo twist.

One more thing. Just one more thing. It is that you've become Too embarrassed physically Or set in those older couple ways To feel romantically inclined once again You'd like to Maybe you're stuck in a mold

No get me out Why is this article like dressing me down At the beginning You are ugly and fat Oh now I'm feeling romantic Why is this article like dressing me down at the beginning? You are ugly and fat. Oh, now I'm feeling romantic. Yeah, you're getting an old people sex makeover. It doesn't have to stay that way.

Being romantic, becoming intimate, feeling your sexual love can go on until we are way into our 90s. Sexologists assure us. Sexologists? How do I become a assure us. Sexologists? How do I become a sexologist? They have a sexologist come over here. Because we have those intimate urges and we have those needs. We could turn a few pages

in our daily habit book if we want to. We can move away. We can't because we don't have one. Because only psychopaths would have a daily habits book. I fixed my nose at three o'clock. We could move away from the parents to our teenagers, or the old fun in the office, the golf leader, or the do-gooder,

or whatever it is we see ourselves now and do. And we can only move onto a new page and enjoy our new, older couple selves. Like thousands of other happily romantic couples, we can feel re-fired by each other again and again.

Boom! If that's scary, there's a lot of cobwebs to break through after all. Wow. I hope you mean that metaphorically. No. I don't.

And then here are a few tried and tested tips for romance for older couples. Number one, don't have cobwebs on your pussy. Why not just give me about the woman, okay? It could be the cobweb on the male genitalia, just as easily. Stop being sure. Or anybody's asshole. Exactly. We always forget about assholes.

Let's just scroll down to the asshole part that's going to be in this. Eventually. Eventually. How to redevelop intimacy ideas. If your partner and you don't have a serious rift between you, so serious that you need outside help,

then you can make the, I'm sorry, this is so bad. Then you can make these moves toward being intimate and comfortable inside your relationship again. They are simple moves for men and women, and you don't have to do them intensely. Okay. Are you going to say anything at any point in this paragraph?

I was just being intense. Oh, okay. Slowly and gradually is obviously fine, and a lot more fun. Anticipation is very romantic. This article is an exercise in edging so far.

Did you know old people can fuck? Old people can still fuck. Hey, guys, do you know old people and fucking? They go together more often than you think. You know, fucking is an old people. This is working very well, though. I feel like I've garnered some interest on your end. That's true.

All right. Without, okay, so these are some bullet points here. Excellent. Without masses of preambling conversations, which are killers, you can wisely pick your moment and then simply say one day, I miss being close with you,

and so don't be surprised if I plan on doing something romantic with you very soon. I'm going to do something romantic to you. And you mean it. You're going to have something romantic done to you. And you mean it. You let it go. You're going to have something romantic done to you. And you let it go at that. Just picture him lowering his newspapers like, is that a threat? So that's how you get down to fucking?

I miss being close with you. Okay, bye. It's your fault. I miss being close with you. Okay, bye. It's your fault. Obviously, the first step to a strong sexual relationship is passive aggression. You'll be getting a blowjob soon when you least expect it.

Blowjob witch away! You gradually make fun changes to your wardrobe and hair to renew your looks, remembering what your partner always liked about you. Oh, I didn't know you still had those tassels. You take special care of your hands and nails.

Because that's what your partner always liked about you. Absolutely. And your asshole. Thank you. You make some small changes in the bedroom. A new throw cushion, some candles, or scents.

Oh, for fuck's sake! Or, if you're a man, bring flowers and chocolates home. Or send them. From what I know of old people's houses, candles and scents is not a problem. Every old person's house I've been to, it's like a Yankee candle exploding. They've all been trying to get the romance back. I have all the scents alphabetically.

You didn't even know it. They were all trying to rejuvenate romance, and you didn't even realize it. Step number six, a bowl of Starlight Mints on the counter. Walnuts in shell. Step number eight, enough Reader's Digest magazines piled up so you can sit on them. Well, I see it's after eight. Oh, you're already asleep. You change the way you spend your evenings in small ways.

Either you suggest going out, or you suggest having food sent in. Or you eat in another room. Or you make different food. And, and this is important if it doesn't go down well, then make fun of it I'm sorry we ate in the bathroom I guess I'm just

silly today I can't choke down this garbage this is garbage yes, it's garbage I made garbage I can't choke down this garbage! This is garbage! Yes, it's garbage! I made garbage. Stupid food! I guess we should have done homemade sushi and ate it in the cold cellar. Lesson learned.

It was fun, though. Your chicken pesto was shit, Martha. So, you wanna fuck, or...? Go to the movies, dress up for the occasion. Choose fun movies, or romantic comedies, or even erotic ones. What? Erotic comedies. Where is the porno theater? Is this Taxi Driver right now?

Socialize a little with people you really like. Uh-oh, key parties! And last but not least, and for men and women, take a class in something new and physical, such as the tango, belly dancing, or ballroom dancing. Oh, no. And then meet somebody new!

Your ballroom dancing partner, for example. Fuck this shit! Yeah, these last two steps seem to be like how to find someone else to fuck. Take it separately or together. No big deal. And then

there's many, many, many, many, many, many, many more words in this article. One thing that will spice up your romance is to open up your stockings in bed. That's, that's very erotic judging by this picture.

Um, but, uh, but on the, uh, sex part anywhere. No, of course not.

What does that have to do with anything? I'm sorry. We're talking about romance. You filthy pervert. Oh, oh dear. Fucking ever. It really does.

But, uh, but near the bottom, there is a... Perhaps start with a little head massage. Give a body massage. Perhaps start with a little head massage. Perhaps start with a little asshole massage. Thank you, John.

You're welcome. Beautifully nailed hands on men and women are a turn-on. So basically, are they? Yeah. Are they? Yeah. Like,

like the crucifix. Let him fuck your stick. I mean, some people would consider that a turn on. Yes. Yeah. I like the, I like the tip here.

Give a body massage. You've got the oils. What does that mean? Why do you already have the oils? I really don't know what that part means. It's in the one iron. I know. Wear great underwear and have smooth skin.

Yeah, great underwear. Yeah, and also just go back in time and have smooth skin again. Yeah, have smooth skin. You're old. Old people. Do it. Hey there, smooth skin. And, uh... When you reach a point where you have to make a choice, choose the smooth skin. And, uh, Penelope, good lady,

um, does Amazon have any recommendations on what I should wear to my sexy encounter? Oh, um... I'm not sure. Are these based on my own personal searches? I don't know. Read them out loud and let's find out. No, I'm a little embarrassed.

As the woman, I'd like to wear a long black training corset because beautiful underwear is a must. Sexy sexy too. And for you, the man I'd like to wear a men's cable cashmere sweater. Yeah. Men are soft and touchable in cashmere while I'm nude over here in my training corset. Wow.

Scooty. I didn't get the training corset. That's weird. What are you searching for? You know what? I just am going to be totally't get the training corset. That's weird. What are you searching for? You know what? I just am going to be totally candid and have searched corset recently, so I was not entirely sure that that wasn't a real thing happening to me. I got it.

It's fine. No, I just... Anyway. Hey, Kumquatsa. Yes, hello. Would you like to know what the next section in this document is called no okay well let's just move on then bye okay bye kumquat there's one thing you can count on him for disrupt the whole fucking process. Boots, would you like to know what the next part in this document is called?

Lemon, I would love to. Okay, well, the next part in this document is called Harry Potter and the McGick of Hub Pages. I don't care that much about Harry Potter. All right. Thanks, I love you. Can I just give a quick shout-out to the Heavenator and the Lizbython for doing kumquat searches for him? That's nice of them.

Yeah, yeah. And I want to point out that Bump Girl probably just poked you really hard and then you were like, I'm just lying about that. You can't say her real name. Oh, fuck. Fuck. No, no. Kumquat Stop has been too busy searching for helpful cat names. Yes.

At pethelpful.com. So, Kumquatsop, time for you to make a choice. Ooh. Okay, so we have two questions, two sort of comparative questions to answer. Which would you like to discuss here? Harry Potter and the Bible? Strong contender. Okay.

Or reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight. Oh, God. Well, I already know how Twilight versus the Bible works out. So let's do Twilight. Wait. Just move forward. So let's do Twilight. Wait. Just move forward.

Just let's go with it. It's all fine. Don't question. Just let's go. Okay. No, no, no. You don't. You don't. You don't. We move forward.

So Sophie, Sophie capital X Shinigami, Sophie X, Shinigami. Sophie, capital X, Shinigami. Sophie Shinigami. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, yeah.

What do you got to tell us here? Ahem! Bye. Here we go. My name is Sophie Kishinagami. Reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight. October 10th, 2010. First off,

ellipsis, I know there are a lot of Twilight fans out there who feel like Twilight is the most amazing thing ever. OMG, Edward, I love you! I need a boy who sparkles, et cetera, et cetera. Well, guess what? You are wrong! No! Oh, damn! I'm wrong? No, no!

You're wrong! No, no, no! This is not an opinion! This is fact! Because we're on HubPages.com, and where we list facts. This is fact, because we're on hubpages.com and where we list facts. Harry Potter trumps Twilight in every single way. Hands down. No argument. No competition.

That's dated. Let's see why. I still wrote this article, though. Do you really need to? I mean, I think you've made your point right there. Harry or Edward? Let's examine these two gentlemen, shall we? Let's.

They're two sides of the same coin. Harry Potter has lived his entire life facing hardship after hardship. His parents murdered when he was an infant. He is sent off to be raised by his abusive aunt and uncle. He is bullied by his cousin and classmates. And oh, he's one day told that he's a famous wizard. That sounds familiar. He's sent off to a school where he knows nobody yet people constantly point at him, stare at him, ask him personal questions, and make him feel generally uncomfortable.

During the next few years, he faces mortal peril at least once per month. That's the deal with trying to keep his loved ones safe when they're a target for being close to him and trying to defeat the most powerful and evil wizard alive who happens to be out to get him. It really doesn't seem that easy. I mean, that's a decent plot synopsis, I guess. You kind of covered it, yeah. Hi. Edward, on the other hand, lives in a huge house and has access to more money than he used to do it. He doesn't have to worry about having a job

because he's been in high school for a century. That isn't changing any time soon. He's 17 forever. He can just mooch off his parents' money for hundreds of years buying sports cars on a whammering now and then. The biggest problem he has to face is not biting people. Oh my god. You know, I like

this version of Twilight better than the actual one. Like, if Twilight was just about, like, a thousand-year-old teenager who just bought cars all the time, I'd read that book. Does Edward even have parents? Like, I'm trying... My only knowledge is from watching...

Vampire Drive Sports Cars, the movie! Ah! Wait, so the sports cars are vampires? Yeah! Six million! Now, who do you think has to deal with more hardships? Who has more responsibilities?

Because that's the title of my article that I had. That's the question that we're answering. You know, I mean, Bernie, I know that you're trying to be chair of the DNC, and God knows I support you, but I don't think this is the message that you really want to carry forth. Oh, yeah! There's a huge difference between them.

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yeah! Underlying solonus! Okay. What? What? Harry Potter is, by all accounts, not the hottest guy around.

He's skinny, a little short for his age, socially awkward and wears glasses, not to mention the unsightly scar. Ron is a gangly redhead with more freckles than face and Hermione has frizzy hair and beaver teeth. But you know what? Wow. You know what? What? What? What?

What? What? Harry Potter fans love them anyway! In fact, all the good guys in Harry Potter are relatively unattractive. Snape with his sallow skin and greasy hair. Dumbledore and old man with flowing silver hair and bear. Wait, the bear? Chapter 4. Ron Weasley was an uggo. Look at his shitty skin

fuck you Ron chapter 5 Dumbledore fucks a bear I wish I wasn't so ugly me Snape I suck I agree

a man with unkempt hair and an irving tendency to befriend deadly creatures. The Barry Potter books never put emphasis on how good the characters look. Beauty is not a main factor in how much first folks look like them. In Twilight, however, all the characters are gorgeous.

The books are filled with descriptions of the vampires breathtaking beauty. Edward's pr filled with descriptions of the vampires' breathtaking beauty, Edward's pristine hair and skin, the way all vampires are more beautiful than even the most perfect human. This is pretty much the main theme of the book. A girl falls in love with a beautiful boy and wants to join his beautiful fight and become part of his beautiful family. Meanwhile, lots of beautiful bad guys want to kill beautiful Bella,

beautiful Edward, and to kill beautiful Bella, beautiful Ed, right in the middle of the beautiful baby! I'm confused in why you think you're proving your point here. It just seems very strange to go that this is better than that because these people are good looking and these people

aren't. And also kind of, who cares? I mean, I don't want... okay so hey come quiet yeah do you live in a house with other people yeah so okay so this is a question for everybody but come quite yep do you guys think that like comeats, like housemates, think that these recordings are any different than any other night? No, no, I don't. I don't. I don't. I mean, I've spent some time with Kumquatsop off mic. And, you know, I mean, unless he's putting on a front, I feel like there's a setting that he's dialed into.

And I think that it's my belief that Kumquat's Up lives in a house with other guys who are like Kumquat's Up. How is that possible? It is! There's more of you? There is! Yeah! Yeah!

Can we skip down to the quality of writing in the comparative quality of writing in these books? Actually, before skipping directly down, can you read all of the headings for the categories that we're comparing here? Oh no, oh no. The theme of love! Depth of characters! Prejudice! depth of characters prejudice and lastly quality of writing

also not the last one well this isn't necessarily the most quality writing right here twilight fundamentally lacks quality writing. The plot lines are simplistic and the dialogue is not exactly literary genius. That is very generous. Harry Potter, on the other hand, has plot elements that span the entire series. And subplots intertwining all over the place. So Twilight is written poorly.

Harry Potter is long. That's your claim? Uh, yes. I think Twilight is long, too, though. Yeah. What's going to happen in Twilight? Because you know the bad guys will be defeated, and the good guys will stay alive forever.

But Harry Potter, you don't always know what you're going to get. because you know the bad guys will be defeated, and the good guys will stay alive forever. But Harry Potter, you don't always know what you're going to get. Good guys dying, Harry Potter. Oh, God. Spoiler time. Friends, Lupin, Tonks, Snape, Dumbledore, and countless other lay down their lives, and you never know who is safe and who isn't it's kind of like game of thrones oh oh my god you know what game of thrones is a lot like american politics yeah

it's a lot like harry potter i was expecting harry potter to die in the last one because you never know also harry potter's in a magical world unlike anything we could ever experience. Whereas Twilight is set in a mundane, rainy American town that happens to have vampires. I mean, think about it. The reason there is a Harry Potter theme park and there will never be a

Twilight one is because there's just more cool stuff in Harry Potter! Oh my god. Hey, uh, Sophie X Shinigami? Yes, hello! What other articles have you written other than reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight? A guide to loom knitting!

Loom knitting! Anything else? Oh! Oh! Oh? Oh! Oh! Pokemon card collecting an introduction! Oh, I bet you're interesting.

What else have I written? She has six followers, you guys. Six. She does. That's good. Oh, that's all I've ever written. Yeah, that's all you've. Six. She does. She does. That's good. Oh, that's all I've ever written. Yeah, that's all you've ever written. It says

ten published hubs, and here are all three of them. Mm-hmm. So there is a helpful, very helpful discussion on hub pages, and the discussion is about this.

It's, is the Twilight Saris the new Harry Potter? So, I'm Doglover1, and I say, I think it is. What about you guys and girls? Lol.

And Unforged, Boots, what does Unforged say? Oh, Sunforged. What? How could it be? It's only a trilogy and it's shunned by the male market as being preteen watered down crap. Harry Potter appealed to a surprisingly wide audience. That's interesting. And, uh, uh,

Squiddy, you are Brenda Durham? Because it is at once both ridiculous as well as rather blasphemous, in my view, to have a mu-movie, muvie, where humans fall in love with werewolves and or vampires, period, it's taking what we've always viewed as evil and trying to mainstream it, validated, etc. I'm not against scary movies, at least not all of them,

and I much prefer a scary monster or zombie movie or some such than to see the likes of Twilight with its skewed sense of love being fed to impressionable children and teens. I love you so much, even though I'm a teenage girl and you're a werewolf and or a vampire. I love you too. Don't forget about the asshole. I don't.

Yeah, prove your love, damn it. Don't forget about the asshole. I don't. I never forget about the asshole, you guys. Hi, I'm Inez Maligand. Harry Potter is legendary. J.K. Rowling does not use hot guys as a strategy to appeal to readers. Female, of course,

her writing is pure and it is intellectual on all levels. all levels the part i'm uninvited boogers turned into bats pure intellectual poetry my name is uninvited writer and uh you in here i know nobody needs to i fucking go wherever I want, bitch. Damn it. I prefer Anne Rice's The Vampire Chronicles myself. So does Anne Rice. Thank you. I am.

Thank you for reading my book. You've got Anne Rice here. Your accent has changed since the last recording. I believe it has matured. Now to the Café du Monde. No, it's, yeah, like a jambalaya, your accent. I think it's more like a gumbo. Either way, it's regional.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Come see me if you're down in Nolens. All right. Come see me if you're down in Nolens. Alright. Now we need to go on to the food and recipes section on

HubPages. Boots, you have a question you want to pose to the F Plus listening audience, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yes, I do.

And I'm excited about this because this is the thing that I wrote, me being PD Greenwell. Yep. I have 117 followers, probably for this article. Yeah. Miracle Whip or mayonnaise? What's the difference anyways it would be great if it was what's the difference anyways but it's just anyway anyway yeah it's hard not to make it rhyme yeah this is the filibuster they use when they shut down the government a

while back right miracle whip and mayonnaise are two foods that look somewhat alike, are used for many of the same purposes and recipes, and incite possibly greater debate than any other foodstuff used by North American cooks. Oh, the fistfights over bologna sandwiches that happen throughout the years. Actually, Boots, I was looking at the Miracle Whip versus mayonnaise compare and contrast. It was very interesting. I really liked it. It was good, except for then I was looking at how to make canned ravioli taste better.

Oh, okay. Wow. And I like that better. So, Boots, how do we make canned ravioli taste better? Okay, I suppose for the other one, mayonnaise. Duh. Anyway, how to make canned ravioli taste better? Okay, spoilers for the other one. Mayonnaise. Duh. Anyway, how to make canned ravioli taste better by Ramona

Beck Britman. Britman. Sniffing a tulip. Has 36 articles and five followers. Good. Section one. She can tell you how to remove cellulite in one hour. How to spruce up canned ravioli. Also how to battle oral thrush.

Oh, that is not a good picture. I don't like that picture at all. No. No. Oh. Now I know what I'm going to dream about tonight. Anyway. Canned ravioli.

Yeah. Anyway, canned ravioli. Yeah. And so the first thing we have here is a nice picture of Chef Boyardee beef ravioli sitting on like a dish rack. No preservatives because it doesn't need it. How to spruce up canned ravioli. You probably won't believe that you can make canned ravioli almost taste like homemade. I said almost because homemade is always better.

But. Okay. I don't believe it. I actually don't believe it. No? Well, let's continue on. Not even with the widest possible definition of the word almost. Or your homemade ravioli is fucking disgusting almost almost is in quotes you know when you just don't have the time for all the preparations or have ran out of ideas

what to cook for dinner then try this i'm sure you and your family will enjoy it. They won't believe you when you tell them it's canned ravioli. They won't, huh? The next time you don't know what to do, what to cook, and or don't feel like cooking, make this fast ravioli meal. It doesn't even taste like canned. Play along, kids. Play along. She'll snap if we don't. What you need is

Really? Okay. What you need is one large and one small can of meat ravioli. It's not a can of ravioli. It's two cans of ravioli. I can't believe this tastes like one can of ravioli.

It's not. I didn't know they came in different sizes. Get a big one. Get a small one. Yeah, like the giant food service can. Bathe in it. One pound of ground beef. I'm not going to tell you how fat it's going to be.

Just get a pound. Half chopped onion. Half teaspoon of ground beef. I'm not going to tell you how fat it's going to be. Just get a pound. Half chopped onion. Half teaspoon of garlic powder. A half to one inch thick chunk of velveteen cheese. Why? Because they're measured in chunks. One? One half to one inch thick chunk.

Well, because, I mean, I guess that works. Well, no, it doesn't. Nope. That's actually not very much Velveeta. Not a lot of Velveeta. Depends on how long it is. Oh.

Just take one of those bricks, just cut it lengthwise, one inch thick. You are a Velveeta genius. A Velveeta no. Nope, doesn't work. Bad portmanteau, man. Bad portmanteau. I agree. One can or jar

of your favorite spaghetti sauce. Optional topping, parmesan, cheddar, mozzarella cheese. Whatever you like. Okay, first, preheat the oven 250 degrees while you're Whatever you like. Okay, first. Preheat the oven to 250 degrees while you're putting everything together. In a skillet, saute onions. No, not cheddar.

There's no comma, so it's in a skillet, saute onions. Garlic and brown beef until meat is brown. Drain grease. Pour meat mixture into casserole dish. Drain the grease? What? Yeah. Drain it into my mouth. Don't forget about the asshole.

Save it for later. Open can ravioli and spaghetti sauce. Pour it over the meat mixture. Meat mixture, which is meat. But it's mixed-ish. The name of this article should really be How to Fuck Up Homemade Spaghetti Sauce.

No, it's not homemade. It's canned spaghetti sauce. How to Fuck Up Canned Spaghetti Sauce. No, that's true. Yeah, come on. Your favorite spaghetti sauce is canned, asshole. That's true. I forgot.

Add Velveeta cheese and mix everything gently together. Cover with silver foil. Ooh. Fancy foil. Don't use aluminum foil. That'll make it gross. Oh, I haven't eaten all this. I'll get out the silver foil.

This is garnish with silver leaf that you will devour. I spent so much time crafting that fucking silver foil. Lovey dear. Could you get the silver foil. It's garnished with silver leaf that you will devour. I spent so much time crafting that fucking silver foil. Love you, dear. Could you get the silver foil? Put it in the oven for about 20 to 30 minutes. Eh, whatever. About. Because if you're at the point where you make,

you want to make canned raveloy, can't be, eh, never mind. Keep moving on. Good one. This section is called Ready to Eat and Out of the Oven. After you take it out of the oven, unwrap the silver foil and sprinkle your favorite cheese over it. Let the heat from the raviolis melt the cheese, or you can take the foil off and sprinkle cheese while it is still in the oven five to ten minutes before

taking it out. Done! The end result on the plate, and here's a picture of Brown. It looks like Dindy Moore beef stew. Yeah. That is what that is. To channel an older episode, it looks like poo-poo.

It does. Serve with crusty garlic bread so now what used to be a bland can of ravioli has evolved into a fabulous meal with a capital F so good I really love

the next part because this one is served on paper plates because I didn't feel like washing dishes. She was about to take pictures for her famous article on the internets. And she just wants to make sure she doesn't use her plates. She has to use paper plates. Yeah, because I didn't want to wash dishes.

Yeah. So I took a nice picture of the food that just happens to be on paper plates. Looking good. Good food. It just happens to be on paper plates. Looking good. Good food. And I like that if you actually do scroll down to the end of the recipe, you get the oral thrush picture again. Oh, and the forks. I could have used plastic ones, but I didn't have any.

Well, now you have to wash those forks, asshole. Good job. I like that the crusty garlic bread, there's two different kinds of bread there. There's like pretzel rolls and garlic bread that we're about to eat with that shit. She goes into detail about the salad, too. Yeah, you could add a simple salad on the side. Your simple canned ravioli meal is

now an extravagant meal. Like capitalized. Like an actual extravagant meal. It's an EM. We have added crusty garlic bread and a side salad.

We all know how easy a salad is to make since nowadays you can just buy lettuce already cut up with the fixings in the bag. Wow! Yeah, that definitely looks like a salad that was shit out of a dole bag. So, uh, John Toast, your name is MythBuster, and I have a question I want to ask you, if I could.

So, yeah, I want to ask you this question. My name is Christy Gold, and how do you make coleslaw? What? My husband, and I don't like the traditional coleslaw that is made with mayo. Does anyone have any recipes that has a sweet vinegar taste? Sugar. You want to... Shut up.

Shut up. I want a recipe. I want a recipe, MythBuster. Do you have a recipe? Listen to me. You want to know how to make coleslaw? Do you want me to tell you? I do.

How do you make coleslaw? Here's how I make coleslaw? Do you want me to tell you? I do. How do you make coleslaw? Well, here's how I make coleslaw. I go over to the KFC, and I stand in line for a minute or so, order some coleslaw, pay for it, then take it home, dump the KFC coleslaw in a bowl, put the bowl in my fridge, put the KFC container and bag in the garbage, take the garbage out, and wait to serve my coleslaw that tastes astoundingly like the kind made with Colonel Sanders' secret recipe. Smiley face. Motherfucker.

Thanks for your help, Ms. Buster. You're so fucking welcome. I heard a myth that you weren't a dick. I guess that's been busted. That's fucking busted all to hell right now. Don't forget the asshole. It's me. Squinty.

I have a choice that I want you to make here. We're looking at the gender and sexuality section of Hub Pages. Good. Yeah. No, absolutely. Sure, this is all going to make here. We're looking at the gender and sexuality section of Hub pages. Good. Yeah. No, absolutely. Sure, this is all going to be great. No, it's totally fine. So,

which of these would you like to read here? Would you like to read, How to Seduce a Straight Guy in Eight Easy Steps? Interesting. I have a list of straight guys I do need to seduce. Right. Or, a list of straight guys I do need to seduce. Right. Or,

would you like to read, is there any, oh wait, sorry, is gay slowly becoming the new straight? Well, I suspect the popular favorite would be the gay becoming the new straight. So we'll go with that one. Really? Oh, that's not

what I expected. Okay. Excuse me? I was expecting some gay conversion, but we don't have to do that. The first one was how do I... As if you're already a guy. Oh, okay.

That's confusing for me. Since I'm not already a guy. But anyway. You need to come up with these assumptions. Squiddy, you're a gay guy. I am a gay guy! Okay, I am a gay guy! Let's do straight men!

Oh, hey! Wow, I did not know that would happen that fast. You are efficient at turning into a gay guy. I am the best at turning into a gay guy. Here I go. Okay. How to seduce a straight guy in eight easy steps. I don't really know what voice to use for this.

You got this. Okay. Because I don't want to do anything weird. Anyway. While seducing a straight guy in agency steps. Lots of straight men have gay fantasies. Seducing a straight guy is easier than you might think. Men are sexual beings, after all. With a little encouragement and the right circumstances,

most men would experiment with the same sex. In fact, many men have. Okay, crickets. But, as most gay men know, it's something they would never admit to. The truth of the matter is, many straight guys do have gay fantasies, but that's all they remain, just fantasies.

They would never have the courage to realize those fantasies on their own, and that's why you must play your part and help them! Oh, thank God! It's the gay cock written about in prophecy! Yes! You can do it! It travels the land! Getting a straight guy to bat for your team! Take charge.

take charge. If you're a guy trying to seduce a man who identifies as heterosexual, it's important to know that no matter how open-minded this straight guy is, nothing will come of it unless you are in the driving seat. Hey there, so you're straight, right? Well, now your hand is on my crotch. What do you think?

I don't super love this! Get used to it. This is not my favorite, but I like What do you think? I don't super love this. Too bad. Get used to it. This is not my favorite, but I like how forthright you are about this. Okay, number two is actually dovetailing again. I like to dovetail very nicely into this. Number two, don't push. Never be pushy, touchy-feely, or downright aggressive in your approach.

Straight men have no concept of how the mind of a gay guy works. It is a mystery. Men are baffling to straight men. Mm-hmm. Be careful to skirt the subject matter. Drop hints, but never be direct about your wants. So take charge, but don't be pushy about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's easy, right?

Yeah, sure. No, it's fine that's easy, right? Yeah, sure. No, it's fine. Number three, start with camaraderie. Camaraderie. Sorry. Camaraderie. Oh, wait, that's probably how it's actually spelled. That's correct.

Start with camaraderie. If you're in a public place, such as a pub, and you see a straight man that you like, I'm licking my eyebrows right now, make a statement to them that you know will get a positive response. For example, when buying your drink, make a side comment like, if I wait any longer, I think I'll die of thirst. Say something that they will agree with, and then introduce yourself.

If I wait any longer, I think I'll die of thirst. You know what's good for thirst? Cum. Am I right, or am I right? Hey, where you going? I hate the fucking fillies. Can I fuck you? Oh, man, the fuckies are really fucking in the ass. Never mind.

What? What was that? Hey, hey, Lover. Could that be our next t-shirt? Yeah, absolutely. The fuckies are really... Oh my god. Number four.

Okay. Okay. And if that doesn't work Number four, approach him in private Okay, so Outside of the bar If you've made a recent friend who's straight And you think you might have a chance

Try to get him on his own Men usually tend to be more responsive and open with their feelings When they're not part of the pack I mean, okay I mean, I guess Yeah, that's this sounds like grooming in a bad way but anyway sure does

number five stay confident to seduce a straight guy you will need to boost your self confidence practice on guys you're not normally interested in wait is this a gay conversion pool yeah it is hey I'll go want a pity fuck interested in. Wait, is this a gay conversion pool?

Yeah, it is. Hey, Igo, want a penny fuck? This way, there's no failure involved. What have you got to lose? Also, don't forget the law of averages here. You have to succeed some of the time. Jesus. You won't be seen as that annoyingly

horny guy who just bounces to every guy and gets like, hey, dick sack? No? All right. Dick sack? No? All right. Dick sack?

Number six, be vague about your own orientation. Yeah, absolutely. When seducing a straight guy, the subject of sex will no doubt crop up. Men talk about sex all the time. If he doesn't bring it up, make sure you do. So, gay sex, right? That's what we were talking about?

Gay sex? Sex with me? Sex with me here. Sex. Always refer to your ex as your ex-partner. Because that's not gay at all. Yeah, I was about to say. What you're doing here is dropping hints.

See if he does the same! Like, go away! So, I don't like guys, but if I did, would you be the guy I could have the sex with? Would you do it? Really?

Sex with me? You and me? Huh? Number seven, bring up sexuality. Wait, what? Scary. What's with the next tip contradicting the last one? Be subtle. I'm gay!

Scary, I know, but there are ways and means. Talk about your mate at work and his bizarre antics because we're gorillas okay it's australian or yeah that's what i'm wondering or he's like posing as australian you're like long master plan to get this guy in the sack like what's going on everyone fucks that would work would work. Come on. Casually mention that this guy is gay, but you don't have an issue with that kind of thing. Test his reaction. If it's positive,

then you can explore the subject even more. Mention statistics and how you heard that many people are actually bisexual. What the hell? Yes! Oh my god. What? What the hell? I'm so

aroused by statistics. I just fucking... Did you know that 53% of men want me to suck their dick? So, hey, Randy. Uh, Kinsey scale. And, uh, I got a dick.

Wanna... Wanna do dick things? Don't forget about the asshole. Don want to do dick things. Don't forget about the asshole. Don't forget about the asshole. Should he agree with you, then you have just seduced him. No straight man would ever agree with that statement

unless they felt ready to experiment. I've heard that many people are bisexual, and he goes, uh, sure, And then he goes, AHH! I've lured you into my trap, you fool! Number eight. Be the guy that, like,

be the guy that super right-wingers say that all gay people are when they do scare tactics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, hey, there's... Be a Conservapedia article. Yeah, basically. Number eight. Take it slow. No matter how confident you feel, never invite him back to yours on the first night.

Oh, now you're a coy. Oh, yes. Swap telephone numbers slash email addresses and agree to meet up. You don't want to scare him off. Okay. Well, I will say this. If you haven't scared him off by this point with all these tips, then I mean, yeah,

you're probably going to fuck him. I mean, he's got no standards. He's willing to put up with this garbage. To conclude, the most important rules when subduing a straight guy, or anyone, in fact, are approach with confidence, respect boundaries, and never be afraid of rejection. Rejection is absolutely necessary if you're ever to have a success at seduction. Seduction, finally said it.

And then there's a poll. What's the poll? Have you ever seduced. What's the poll? What's your experience? Have you ever seduced a straight man? Yes, and it worked like a charm. 28% chose that. I've tried, but no luck so far. 24%.

I've never had the gut. 48%. That's from 21,574 folks. Oh, gay men. Get your guts together. Gay guts. And John, your name is RJ? Hi.

I'm RJ. I'm straight, but it's funny. I know that a guy could get me into his bed if he followed this guide. Okay, real person. You bet. You wouldn't believe what happened to me.

Two years later, TR says, I'm straight also, but a smooth approach like this would get me easily. I'd be naked in his bed before I knew what happened, winky face. I'm straight! For sure. And, uh, come quatsap, you are John Adams. Oh, hello. Hi.

I loved, uh, no, I actually didn't like that show at all. No, no. I fell asleep every time. I did get a married guy once in a car to say I could do whatever I want. I rubbed his lag that when he told me I could do whatever I wanted, but I backed off. Did not want to lose him as a friend. Was I right? No, you should have rode that shit hard.

Jumped on his dick and grinded. Seduce a straight guy. All right, come close up. One more thing that we're going to finish this up with, and you get to choose what that is. Will the last thing that we read be, my cat talks, really am I Crazy or Alone in It? How to

Summon a Demon for Money and Become Insanely Rich Without a Soul? Not done. Necromancy High McGick? Or Is Witchcraft Dangerous? Is it Safe to Practice McGick?

Definitely Demon for Money. Demon Or is witchcraft dangerous? Is it safe to practice McGick? Definitely demon for money. Demon for money and chicks for free. Okay. Yeah. For a friend, not for ourselves. That ain't working. That's the way you do it. So some sort of quake graphics on this this uh page here oh somebody gets to pronounce some

uh made up devil language exciting uh yes hello my name is clive williams okay uh clive williams uh is the author of how tough a baby is Yours Without Doing a DNA Test. Oh. Okay. Clive has a lot of articles. Yeah, I've got 187 articles. He's got an article called Their World is Ugly. Is that baby mine?

Answer unclear. Ask again later. Shit! He also wrote tattoos Jesus may have gotten. He wrote a poem for kids, eating bun and cheese. I remember in the 90s when Jesus got a

tribal tattoo. It's hilarious. Oh my god, it's so embarrassing. He's totally getting a cover up. I think the picture at the top of this page is his tramp stamp. Totally! Anyway. How to summon a demon I think the picture at the top of this page is his tramp stamp. Totally!

Anyway. How to summon a demon for money and become insanely rich without a soul. So you already don't have a soul. Well, I sold it. I sold it to a different demon, but then that didn't work out so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before the summoning. Before we summon the demon of money, we need

to get our bodies ready in case he needs a host. The ritual you will perform will cleanse you of any righteous elements, and then allow the demon of money to come into you and make you end the wealth one. Okay.

The Demon of Money has always issued several instructions before he can be summoned. And those instructions are to acquire special artifacts, which will make the summoning much easier and very fruitful. I get it. Okay, I gotta get the five things for the quest. Just keep...

I gotta get past this text. Scroll, chief. Every quest I take... Don't things for the quest. I gotta get past this text scroll. Every quest I take. Don't skip this! Don't skip this! You need to kill five rats for the demon of money. Loading. Loading. Loading. The demon of money needs to feel at home when he has entered into

our third dimension and the only things which will make him feel comfortable is artifacts that emulate what he is about. So, what you will need for the demoning summoning are owl

rope bracelet. Made from real owls. Okay, that sounds awesome. Rope made from, like, owl feathers or, like, rope made from an actual owl? Yes. Owl rope bracelet. Just yes.

This signifies the circle of trust between Lucifer and you. Once you acquire this item, your demon mana will wise by at least 25%. Your mana will wise! Okay, 25%. Your mana will wise. Okay, I was joking, but I looked up, okay, religion and philosophy, angels and demons.

Okay, this isn't actually like a game walkthrough. Like, your demon mana will wise. Yeah, all right, fine. Also, demon pendant. This signifies the closeness of Lucifer to your heart, and that you will always walk with him hand in hand Love you, Lucifer Are these the shell bracelets you make at camp with Lucifer?

And behold, when you saw footprints of brimstone, I was carrying you There's also a convenient affiliate link to Amazon to buy Demon Head Skull Adjustable Cuff Bracelet. That's convenient. How much for some adjustable... Let's buy. It's only $12.93. I'll get a couple.

This is a puzzling thing. Most of this guy's other articles are very much fundamentalist Christian-based. Mm-hmm. Anyway. He gave his soul to Jesus, but he needs money. Alright,

let's talk about summoning, please. I want to talk about summoning. Find a secluded place at home or in your private office ad. Begin the ritual. You will need five candles, chalk, a black

robe, a radio playing some scary soundtracks, and a video camera to record I'm a bee. I'm a bee. I'm a bee. I'm a bee. And a video camera to record your epic summoning experience. Hey y'all, like, comment, and subscribe.

Here's an epic summoning experience. What's up, my cranky crew? Gross. Here we go. You will need to cleanse all pure thoughts out of your mind and begin to think wicked

and evil all you have to do is think racist wait what where did that come from that's how I summon Satan cause there should be a lot more

Satan happening right about now And a lot more money involved please When you have Began to think like a racist And you mind Is soaked with evil and disgust Repeat the following lines Okay the following lines

Okay Uh Yep The following lines, okay. The following lines. The following lines. Go ahead. Evelksmelew. Evelksmelew. Evelksmelew.

Evelksmelew. Evelksmelew. Yamruiel. Gnu. Arglarev. Yamruiel. Gnu. Arglarev.

Yamruiel. Silves. Uthruf. Sigur. Rof. Ithal. Evelksmelew. Evelksmelew. Evelksmelew. Yamruiel. Grunirtu. Feel the beat, y'all. So what you're saying is over and over, Clive Williams, Clive Williams, may your writing go viral.

Yes. Backwards. Oh, I see. Also, life for riches with Bless Be You May. Oh, my God. Oh, no, it's not that backwards. So it's... Wait, wait, wait.

So the words are left... This whole thing is supposed to be funny. Oh. Satire. It's not. It's not. Yeah. It's not funny.

Yeah. And then in the section on summoning continued, what is the... There's just a little chant there. A tiny, tiny little chant. At the end of the psalm. After saying Psalm 23 twice. Yeah. After saying it once, you will need to say

a few lines to mock the demon for him to be angry enough to want to come through you. Come through to you? Oh, yes. I like your version better, though, actually. Excellent.

So at the end of the song... All the way through. Repeat the phrase twice. Demons suck. They look like muck. I don't give a fuck. Yay! Fuck. I don't give a fuck.

Yay! So, F+, what did we learn from this terrific website that's not fucking useless? It has a lot of facts and information. Where? Where does it have facts? They're all informative articles.

Really? Where? Where are they? Yes, excuse me, that's what they say. They do say that. I'm wondering where I could find the useful and informative articles. I don't think they said useful. Okay. Oh, okay. Informative. Well, okay. I mean, I still would pickness

with that. There are words assembled together into shapes of paragraphs on a page with which you can be informed, but possibly not educated. What would you be informed of from this website? The best scooters for toddlers. Okay.

What's the best scooter for a toddler? Oh, the best scooter for a toddler is probably the... I don't know. I can't possibly parse this article. It's very long. Okay. Great. The Radio Flyer Pro Glider, probably. Oh, Toast learned something. I learned that

if you put up a site that says, hey, if you write something, you'll get money from it based on views. People will just be like, I'll just vomit out some words, and hopefully some shit will come back to me. Hell yeah! The future me is going to be super rich! Because the idea of this is like,

oh, it looks like you can do freelance articles, and we'll put ads on them, and then you'll get money from the ads. And yeah, you can tell in that first article we read about the love, it was literally just like, I'm just posting shit for my chat log in here just to fill word space like i learned that this is like on a very cynical uh excel spreadsheet somewhere that's being presented to like probably vcs because as as you navigate around you you end up crossing to different domains. Like the, you know, like the, anytime you go to a food one, it's on deliciably.com.

And like somebody somewhere is like, hey, look at all this content I have for deliciably.com. I have, I have, look at all these words I have. User created content full of ravioli. And like someone somewhere is asserting that they are getting rich because of the number of words on all these various websites. Yeah, no, this company

actually bought Squidoo. Oh, yeah. Which was a similar useless website. Is that a cousin of Squiddy? Yep. Nope. I'm on an article that's titled 11 Sites Like Facebook. And it was written in October 21st, 2015.

So it's just over a year old. And it's got such important sites on it. Google Plus, that's a helpful one. Everybody uses Google Plus. I like that. Yeah, I'm on there all the time, man. I can't get enough google plus do you remember like post do you remember like post uh trump election how like we were all just

glued to google plus for like four days just like what's the latest news from google plus just just just you know so many think pieces being like aggregated on google plus for us to read in our feeds um also like you know if you want a site like facebook why not go to netlog aggregated on Google Plus for us to read in our feeds. Also, if you want a site like Facebook, why not go to Netlog? There's no reason why I wouldn't. You guys are all so cynical. I am learning how to have

an exciting senior sex life. Website is always thefbl.us and if you're looking to cause pain to balls, you can go to BallSnuff.Club. I'm going there right now. I'm going there right now. I see the way you enjoy Being brought to a fight Let's get away She doesn't like to fight

Let's get a good room so we can be I want to warn you I'm not too warm I want to warn you For the record, I was trying to say, man, the Phillies are really fucking in the ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know about... I know that's what you were trying to say. And then I said the fuckies,

and then I just strolled down a hill. And I died. And now I'm dead. Have you ever... I got tickets to see the fuckies live once a year. Is that like the porn parody of the feelies? Yeah, yeah.