The F Plus - 243: I'm Twelve And I'm Not Lying

Episode Date: February 16, 2017

Real Super Powers is a site for the documentation of real, actual, legitimate, bona fide, undeniable, serious, authentic, honest, indubitable, factional, non-fictional, unaffected, veritable, perceptible, irrefutable, sincere, honest, no really I promise super powers in human beings. From there, I mean... the episode pretty much writes itself. 1This 1week, 1The 1F 1Plus 1doesn't 1have 1a 1girlfriend.

You should take a vote on how you pronounce the submitter of this document. Sphagnum? Sphagnum. Yeah. Sphagnum. Like the moss. Like the moss? Sphagnum.

Okay. Sphagnum. Oh, you sound lovely. Yeah, it's a... What is that? Moss? It's kind of moss. It's kind of peat moss.

Yeah. Is there a pronunciation guide on this site? Spajnum. You could probably look it up and it had like a dictionary entry for it. Spajnum. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hello, true believers! This is the F-Plus Podcast! Excelsior! Terrible place, there's terrible things. They're red with enthusiasm.

In the room tonight we have Boots Rang Gear. Believe it or not, I can actually differentiate the qualities of fact and fiction. Kumquats up! Help me! I cannot find sites on the length. I found only Paxil and Xanax. Stog! What do you need on the length. I found only Paxil and Xanax. Stog! What do you need help with? Maybe I can help. You've just been Thunderstruck! Jack Chick!

Hi, my name's Power Man. I have no power. Nutshell Gulag? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does one it one make one a one sound? And Lemon. You know what? I'm crying here for lots of reasons. I miss my friend who was sent to the cuckoo house because of talking,

and I lost it today and screamed all these things at the top of my lungs. And besides that, I'm being followed by a guy in a business suit who always has binoculars? Why is this then? You want to tell me? Why is that then? Yep? Why is this then? You want to tell me? Why is that then? Yep, why is that then? You must know. F off. My name's Air. Why is that then?

I got the stars beaten out of me. Believe it or not. Hey, F Plus. Hi, Lemon. Hello. Hey, Lemon. Hey, are all of you in this room, are you all living up to your true potential? No. Hell yeah, I am. Probably not.

Yes. I mean, listen, I've got a Toronto toronto style ipa which isn't a thing i'm drinking and i'm enjoying it and that's everything i wanted the toronto style ipa that's what it says on the sticker on this can toronto style motherfuckers there's a place close to my house that advertises that they have min-style pizza. It's like, dude, that's not good. Don't brag about that. See, it can be whatever they want it to be. You know, Minneapolis, where the Italians aren't.

Anyway, I want to talk to you all about fulfilling our true potential as um, as, uh, people, as a society. Um, and, uh, and so to that, uh, to that end, uh,

I'm going to read you, uh, this quick paragraph. Okay. HGTPRealSuperpowers.com is a site where people can learn about real documented cases of legitimate super abilities in humans. Yay. Oh my God. That was in quotes. Yay! Oh my god! That was in quotes.

Yes, absolutely. This is a document given to us by a first-time submitter named Sphagnum. So thank you, Sphagnum, and we are going to give you wind chimes to thank you for this document. They're not really wind chimes,

it's a fork in a glass. Okay. Low-rent wind chimes to thank you for this document. They're not really wind chimes. It's a fork in a glass. Okay. Low rent wind chimes. We're going to give you a fork in a glass. Somebody may be drinking a bit of a mechanical mixture. But yeah, thank you. Thank you, Sphagnum, for this document. And I think we should start off here with an introduction to the site. So, Boots Reingear,

I would like you to come with me on a journey to realsuperpowers.com where the header announces that we can get a free numerology reading. So, yay. And also... I've got so many numbers.

In the recent blog posts, two-thirds of them were in Japanese, so that's odd but but boots introduce us to the site please yeah welcome to real superpowers dot-com this is a site where you can

learn about real documented cases of legitimate super abilities and humans most of us are familiar with superpowers as elements of fiction, as in Heroes, the 4400, and Superman. However, there are real superpowers out there, too, and we aim to find them all. Whoa.

Is this a Pokemon kind of thing? Gotta catch them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta catch all the fake powers. Yeah, just wander through the sewers for about three hours and you'll pick up a superpower, guaranteed. That's how it starts. That was cool.

So what's your mission? What's your mission over here? Our mission is to seek out the truth of superpowers, encompassing both those currently in existence and those on the horizon. So the ones that aren't here yet the future superpowers um yeah okay yep it shall be the business of real superpowers.com to discover and share meaningful information related to the development and use of legitimate super abilities in human beings. I can't wait to, like, count all of the uses of real, legitimate, honest.

It's going to be great. Might outpace Alex Jones. Jack Chick, I have some questions for you about this website. Yeah, sure. What can I help you with? So what is this place? Well, first off, let me just give you a quick internet tip. If a URL doesn't work, type deadurl.com in front of it and press enter to find a backup.

Is that a superpowers? FYI. That's not how websites work. Wow. That's a website feature. Is this how the superpowers get to us? Anyway, what is this place? Realsuperpowers.com is an attempt to broaden public knowledge within the sector of real attainable superpowers. These are not world superpowers as in the United States, the former Soviet Union, or China, but rather super abilities in humans.

Thanks for answering a question nobody asked. Mm-hmm. Superpowers are usually only taken seriously as fictional character attributes in entertainment, like Heroes, the 4400, and Superman. It is out- Those three, no other ones. That's correct. Yeah, those are the only superhero shows.

Well, like those. It is our desire that the true existence of real superpowers and human beings be firmly established so that we all might benefit. Hey, Jack Chick, I have a question for you, but first I need to affect a voice for it. Yeah. Duh! What are superpowers? I'm glad you asked that question, Lemon. In the context most similar to that used here, Wikipedia has at one point defined superpowers as

extraordinary powers or abilities possessed by fictional characters, particularly superheroes and supervillains. However, since we are searching for real superpowers, we shall define them as extraordinary powers or abilities currently or at one time possessed by actual persons living or dead. Man, so many of these

counters. So like having really good hair? Yeah, that's a superpower. Sure, why not? So I feel like I've been reading a lot about superpowers. Why is it that most of what I read about superpowers... Why is most of what I read about superpowers fiction? Our theory...

Close enough. Our theory is that while superpowers are fun and fascinating to read about in a fictional context the actual super abilities possessed by real present day human beings have been kept under wraps this is no laughing matter they just don't want to be rounded up for the mutant camps in Genosha

Jack Chick I'm going to ask you a question that i think always is the question that shows up when you're talking about superpowers and superheroes um yeah what is this what is the significance of the date december 21st 2012 oh good again we refer to wikipedia where it has been stated that 2012 is sometimes claimed to be a year of spiritual transformation or apocalypse. Many esoteric sources interpret the completion of the 13th Bakhtun cycle in the long count

of the Maya calendar, which Yeah, guys. Remember 2012 when the world went to shit? Yep. Yay! Absolutely. I love Michael Bay film. I didn't expect this. Which occurs on December 21st

by the most widely head correlation to mean that there will be a major change in world order. There are many theories connected with this date. In 2012. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, what's the problem? Nothing. Nothing. I'm just so excited that this early into the episode I get to get fist-fucked by Dan Brown. Yeah. Many New Age spiritualists and philosophers New Agers believe

humankind will enter an age of enlightenment in 2012. Uh-oh. Oh, you may want to take that one back. Gee, that sounds great. Yeah. I, too, can't wait for 2012. Yep.

There are a range of varying generally positive beliefs shared by a subset of spiritualists from the mundane to the exceptional, including a positive social shift and age of peace, mankind becoming psychic and connected by a collective and slash or an evolution of the human race into non-corporeal beings made of spiritual energy or light energy. I think we all remember that event happening. Yeah, totally. I think we all remember that event happening. An alternative view is that we are already thought forms and will be realizing our true selves in this year.

Oh my god. Is this why you stopped updating your website? No, no. So however far-fetched this may sound, one thing remains clear. Psychic and energy abilities can be considered superpowers. Yes. Yes. Second digit.

Therefore, it is possible that on December 21st, 2012, humanity on the whole will be granted superpowers. Yay! Yep. I know. I mean, I thought that was indigestion but okay

I thought exactly how cause and effect work I know I think we all remember when January 1st 2013 rolled around and Obama started shooting eye lasers at people I was surprised to learn that I was a thought form before that point.

It felt like I took a physical shape. Yeah. Alright, I think it's time for us to learn about some of these people with real, actual, actual, factual superpowers. Yes, please. And let's start off with Kumquazop. Your name is Learning

Through God. Yes, hi. My name is Learning Through God. Ooh, yes. Yes, hi. My name's Learning Through God. Hey, Learning Through God, do you have an internet tip for me? No, no, but I have a Windows XP tip. Pressing Win plus D will hide all open windows

and show you the desktop. Press win plus D again to restore the hidden windows. So the tip isn't tied to the user or the message or even consistent when you load the page. It's just random every time you refresh it. I got pressing control T will open up a new tab in your browser. I got the dead URL thing. Is the rest of the page random or just the tip? Well, let's find out.

Learning through guys. Just tell me about yourself. Come on, just the tip. So I'm... You keep promising him that. I'm hard to attain. But a smell start is a small start. Agreed.

I found out about pyrokinesis by accident yes I too was dismayed when I realized there were other songs on that prodigy album wow made when I realized there were other songs on that Prodigy album. Wow. Wow. While looking around the web, I also

started practicing it. Well, I have ADHD. And focus is a major problem. Yeah, you're exactly who I want starting fires randomly. Sitting or standing still seems almost impossible on its own.

Well, one night, I was ditched by a few of my Kaliogs. So I went home and decided, I think I will practice pyrokinesis. I think I will practice pyrokinesis! So I sat, concentrating on the flame for what turned out to be one and a half hours, and all I got from all of that was the flame going out and coming up again twice! From there, I just jumped up in excitement, and I am still trying to continue my power since. Wow.

Okay, what a journey. Congratulations. My name's Yuri, and I have a comment about your powers here. Pyrokinesis is a rare ability. I'd rather not use it. My friend has this ability because it corrupts the user and sucks up all the good in one's life

like a flame sucks up oxygen to live. That's not how the... Wow. That's what I have to say. Does Zandliar have something to say? does Zandliar have something to say? Does Zandliar have something to say? Well, let me tell you as I find that. It's the one in all caps.

Yeah, I see it. What? That is such a lie. What? That is such a lie. What? That is such a lie. I have friends with this ability, and they are good, kind-hearted people. So just shut up. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Welcome to the forum, Avril. I have the power of caps lock. Hey, hey, opposition. Opposition, you have something to say. That sounds like a nutshell to me. Opposition?

Okay, let me get this straight. God supposedly gave you, I'm assuming a 23 to 30 year old, the ability and wonders of pyrokinesis, yet no inability to spell at all? That's rather confusing to me. Why would God give someone the ability to light things on fire when they haven't passed grade school yet? The problem is that God didn't give him the inability to do it. It's worth mentioning that, come quads up, your guy

Learning Through God shows up in the comments and his avatar is a picture of Bill Clinton's face with Oh Really over it. Actually, Learning for God needs to read the first paragraph of his response. Yeah, it sure does.

Well, misconception A Oh, we're in Canada now. I am only 14 years old. I also got first place in a spelling bee last year and won $50 dollars. This was my county's spelling bee!

Wow, that proves that you have pyrokinesis, alright. He's on fire for reading. Stog. Your name is Mr. Danger. And you have a sense that you want to talk about, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do. My username is I have the powers of danger sense. Okay. Sure. Someone has a danger sense. Will we ever find out who?

Before I regale you with my Before I regale you with my... Before I regale you with my tale, please note that setting your browser's homepage to about blank instead of a website helps it load faster. Very useful internet tips. Thanks. Did you all get that free numerology reading yet? I'm going to set it to about blank instead of realsuperpowers.com

And anyway, here's my tale I have the power of sensing danger in me or others When it is nearby When my senses realize I'm in danger, my body tingles as if I have a small spaz attack. For example, I was biking downtown with my dad and we biked over a bridge. I got the danger sense on the bridge and kept on biking. When I had

a clear view of the underside of the bridge, I saw young adults smoking and dealing drugs. Oh no! Oh no! What is your danger sense?

Oh, no, I'm going to die in 70 years from secondhand smoke! No! I might have smelled some really bad weed. Oh, no, they're smoking snacks! Recently, I went to a relative's house and I received a small spaz attack just before my relative's dog ran out into the road in front of a car. You received a small spaz attack? Like by courier? Yes. By Amazon drone delivery.

It was a spaz-a-gram. Yeah, it's a spaz-a-gram. a spazagram. Yeah, spazagram. Spazagram. I'm really confused about my power because it doesn't always work. Please comment. Well, two people did, including Glitch Guy. Hi, I'm Glitch Guy 650.

Oh, hey. It doesn't really seem that you were in danger at all in this situation. The truth of the signal! My name's Foreseer. One, it's... One, it, one sounds one as one if one you one are one utterly stupid and crazy and don't have a girlfriend. I ran out of ones. Why do you need a circle of supply like that? I have problems with impulse control.

I went on a one bender. That's a super power in and of itself. I think you won that thread. Thanks. Thanks a bunch for that. That was necessary. So yeah, so that, we were right there sort of in the, I don't

exactly know what section that was, but right now we are moving over to the forums. We are in home, forums, superpowers, sub-forum developing superpowers. And Jack Check, you have a question you want to ask us? Yeah, yeah,

I do. Is this a thing? Smell this. When I'm around things, they just seem to work. One time my principal was having technical difficulties and he asked me to help them out. And the second I touched the computer, the problem was gone. It's not just technology, though. It's anything with mechanic construction,

like how the window shades I have at my house are cordless, so you just pull down or push up. Me and my brother share a room. And the ones on my side work perfectly while his don't. Now I have started putting his up and down for him, and they work better and better every time I touch them. Any comments or advice are accepted. A geek squad

supervisor is going to show up at his house one day and he's going to ask, why haven't you reported to work? Jack Chick, I have terrific news. I got some results back from the lab. No. Damn it!

Damn it! Not a thing. But I mean, what about my principal? Mr. Bruce Reingear. His name is capital B lowercase t, capital G. And tell me about yourself, please. Yeah, I'm B the G, and I have the best arms in the world.

Penny dropping. Yeah, my power is metal arms. Nice. Nice. Yeah. So you're in a show, okay. My arms are made of metal. They are so much more powerful than normal arms, which are made of bones and flesh.

What? I was having an arm wrestle with this guy, and I snapped his arm off. I was so happy I punched a hole in the wall to celebrate. Then I turned my hat backwards and got back into my semi-truck.

When I put my hat on backwards I'm like a truck. Winner takes it all. Loser takes a fall. Anyway, I was so happy I punched a hole in the wall to celebrate. It was a brick wall, and now there's a huge hole in it.

I love my metal arms. Oh, you didn't miss it? Excuse me, my name is Destiny, and wow, you celebrated because you snapped someone's arm off? I don't think so. Psh! That is the most unbelievable roleplaying I have ever seen. Forum cop, forum cop, forum cop.

No talking bullshit on realsuperpowers.com, asshole. You're bringing us all down. So I was looking up some more to see if I could find any more comments from Force here. But I found a bunch of other people that have ones that mysteriously appear in front of words. And I think that's a feature this site used to have that would either, I'm guessing, do bold or italics. And the only way to do that was to put a number in front of each individual word. That makes sense.

Yeah, no, that's a good short code. You know? I mean, remember that this was before Markdown. Before they kind of codified that. So they were like, yeah, absolutely. Bold 1. Yeah, 2011 before Markdown.

1. Yeah. 2011, before Markdown. Kumquats up. Oh boy. Read, please. Oh my god! Guys, you can't believe it! Yes!

Unleash the Kumquats up. Guys, you can't believe it! Pressing control F4 will close all tabs on the internet and explore to the current one! Today we're all superheroes. I didn't actually know that one. That was helpful. Guys, guys, I always had a feeling I could fly. I had a dream on how to fly, and it was I should jump off something, but I was scared I will get hurt, and I thought about it and said, what if I don't have that ability, so I didn't try until this day.

Colin, I was telling my friend, an elderly one, if he fools, I will beat him and run away. I was annoying, and I knew if he gets rid of me, he will beat me, so I lock him, and he begged me to open him. When I open him, and he starts to chase me. What? What? That was my sentence. Here's another sentence.

When he was chasing me, I jumped off a hill, and I realized I was in the midair, floating! I had to force myself to come down. How did you do that? But guys, whenever I try to fly it doesn't work! Can you help me please? Note, I don't want stupid answers and discouraging answers please uh stog what is uh what does destiny have to say um in response to this? Like I sent in my PM, here are some webpages about human flight, amazing

abilities, and metalbenders. And the world has a plan for all of us. It links to World Uplift Movement, AmazingAbilities.com, and the Yuri Geller site. Stog, I'm a little

disappointed you didn't pronounce those sun emojis. What? What? Metalbenders? Like the character from Futurama? No, like people who can bend spoons with their brains. No, like the last airbender that

they bring metal elements into the bottles. And that's the sound of a metal bender. Yes, hello, I'm a cricket. Hello, it's me, the cricket. Watch the documentary Being Yuri Geller on Vimeo. No.

Oh, good. Good. Nutshell. Yes? Everything okay? Everything going good over there? Jay Moore? Jay Moore, everything fine?

Actually, I'm scared and need answers, please. Yeah, Jay Moore. Jay Moore is scared and he needs answers. But first, I want to let you know that pressing Win plus D will hide all open windows and show you the desktop. Press Win plus D again to restore the hidden windows. I heard the name

before I read it, so I thought it was Jay Moore. But it's Jay Moore. Yeah, no, it's probably actually Jay Moore, though. Okay. Yeah, yeah, the terrible's Jay Moore. Yeah, no, it's probably actually Jay Moore, though. Yeah, yeah, the terrible, terrible actor. My powers are remove headaches and much more.

Okay. Hi! I recently found out that I have some weird power, and it really scares me. My wife had this really bad headache. I was just goofing off when I put my hands close to her head and said I was taking her headache away. She said her head got really hot, and then her headache was gone. The bad part of this is,

I got the headache that she had, comma comma comma. That doesn't always happen, but it gets better. My wife wanted to argue with me one night, and she just kept on going on and on to the point I was tired of it. She was sitting on the couch, running her mouth, and I just turned to her and waved my hand in front of her face and said, Please be quiet! She instantly passed out and almost fell off the side of the couch. It scared me so badly. I screamed, Please wake up! And she did, but she did not know what had happened. It gets even more bazaar than this.

Almost embarrassing. I can make her orgasm just by telling her that I'm going to do it and then concentrating on that. I can hold my hand three or four feet away from her and squeeze her hand or ankle. And she can feel it. Ainsley. Yes. I thought that it would only work on her, but I was wrong. When I tried it on a friend, it worked the same way and freaked my friend out.

That's what I really think now. Hang on, I'm going to grab your ankles. I know this sounds like something out of a movie, but this is for real. And I need to know what is going on, and I need some answers. I am a normal, God-fearing man, and I go to church every Sunday. I'm not into anything evil. Are you normal, though? Completely.

Okay. Or anything to do with it. All my life, I'd have visions of laying my hands on people and seeing them get healed of sickness, and wonder if that has something to do with this. This power is getting stronger, I can tell somehow. I almost forgot, my grandma said there was a strange light over

my crib when I was born, and I wonder if that has something to do with this. Whatever I have, it will only be used for good things or not at all. Can somebody please help me? I'm scared! Thank you, J. Moore in Ohio. P.S. There's please help me? I'm scared! Thank you. Jay Moore in Ohio. P.S. There's more to this than I could write about right now. Please help me understand!

I'm pretty sure this post was written by Scott Bio, who forgot that Zapped was a movie. Wow, nicely. Nicely. I was on IMDB trying to write my Jay Moore joke that didn't work out. But Jimmy Franks pointed out to me today that IMDb is pulling in their comment section out of IMDb, which is terrific.

Thank you very much, Amazon. Terrific job. You know, move on. Other things need to have comments removed, but I'm glad you're doing that. But they are not removing the user lists from IMDb. When you go to the page on

J. Moore, you get these two pages. Celebrities I suspect are monsters. Like literal monsters? Yes. Celebrities I suspect are monsters. And best cast members of SNL. Anyway.

The only other member is Chris Kattan anymore? Hello, guys. My name's Brendan, the psychic genius. Great. Hello. My username is Brendan. So I have a few powers I want to share with you. My powers are comprehensive extrasensory perception,

also known as ESP, then a colon, then an open parentheses. Oh, for fuck's sake. That's a lot of powers. Telepathy, precognition, Precognition. Retrocognition.

Mind control. He's able to identify events that have happened. Get out of here, you fucking nerd! Brendan is the rememberer. Brendan is the rememberer. In addition to those things, I have clairvoyance, including the power to find anyone. Empath abilities. Then, oh, sorry, there was a bracket in there, so now I got a close paren.

Then thermal control, rapid learning, super high jumps from downtown. Solar absorption. Wait, what? When I absorb the sun. Wow. It does not reflect off of you. Then heat sensing possible time travel.

See, when I wave my hand near the stove, I can tell that it's hot or not. I just close my eyes for a little bit and suddenly it's two hours from now. Yeah. So possible time travel also potential minus touch. Oh, this one might be my favorite. Technopathy.

Okay. This one might be my favorite Technopathy Okay, I have to google that I can sense what this computer is thinking Oh, it's the ability to control And manipulate electronics with your mind Oh, I thought it was like empathy But for technological I thought he was just really into techno music This spinner is gonna finish sometime I know what it's thinking.

Anyway, those things then super strength, super speed, jinx, and static manipulation. Everybody always owes him a coke. Okay, so also, first entry. Hi, I'm Brendan, and I have ten abilities. The things I said.

I got my powers when I was nine, when I was doing homework. I'm only twelve, and I'm not lying. Let's start a very great story. I'm twelve, and I'm not lying. Note to Lemon Make that the title of this episode Second entry I just found out I'm also an empath

I feel everyone's emotions From their insides to their outs No My outs You know one of the things that Brendan was granted was anthropomorphy. Or anthropomancy, sorry. You know, divination through entrails.

Third entry. I went on a website that tells you how you might live your life. Numerology. And right now it said my life is in danger if I lose my window of opportunity. But if I catch on, I'll get the minus

touch and I'll be rich. Fourth entry, hey, it's me again and I'm a technopath. That means I can control electricity. Fifth entry, hey, it's me again and I can find anyone if you give me their name and a picture of them. Sixth entry, hey, it's me

again. Is this like a voicemail log? He's got a dictaphone. It's me again. I have a super strength. I found out when I was working out my powers and my heart was physically coming out of my chest and my biceps were bigger.

And I could punch harder than I could before. Wow. I was like, you're 12 years old. Seventh entry. Hey, I have a new power, super speed. I got it the same way as super strength. Super speed and super strength, they're controlled the same way.

Your blood pressure. No! super strength. Super speed and super strength are controlled the same way. Your blood pressure. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jesus fucking Christ. No, an inhibitor. A regular person's pressure is so low so they can't do as many things as a super person. We, super people, can do the impossible. If you have super strength or super speed, your heart beats faster.

So the key to getting... The fucking key to getting super speed and super strength is to eat a lot of cheeseburgers yeah listen if you're gonna if you're gonna run the race you're gonna want to take these like 20 beta unblockers yeah

uh hey 8th entry hi I can jinx now I know how to use them for good. If you say the opposite of what you want to happen. Ninth entry, I can absorb static electricity. I know it sounds silly, but I started to touch my TV, and then I touched some metal, and then I shocked it. Tenth entry, I have new powers.

Fire manipulation, wind manipulation, telekinesis, water manipulation, carbon monoxide manipulation, and creation. Oh. That power's really exhausting.

Jesus. The ability to heal myself, the ability to make things I want happen, the ability to see areas of the world as if I was there, and advanced knowledge of the world and everyone in it. Eleventh entry, I have new powers. I'm suspended from school, and my mom grounded me. I don't have powers to get more than 3.2 out of 5 stars.

Hey, I'm the Avenger of Blood. Okay. My god, you're all so pathetic-ly. Sad kids just grew up, okay? Okay. Good point, Neil Diamond. sad kids just grew up okay good good point neil diamond um okay oh my god there's all sorts of these alexander the pyrokinetic telekinetic

sorts of these. Alexander the Pyrokinetic Telekinetic? Alright, so we are moving in. Once again, document first time submitter by Sphagnum. Wait, Sphag... Sphagnum. Sphagnum.

It's a kind of moss. We looked it up on Wikipedia. Okay, so, Boots, we are now moving on to homes slash forums slash superpowers slash

practical uses for your powers slash helping others. Oh, okay. I'm unknown. That might be my power. Calling everyone. Oh, okay. Hello, everyone.

My name is unknown. And like so many others, I too have lost the ability to use my abilities. Now, this is becoming a serious problem. Something or someone is affecting our gifts, and we all need to find the source and put a stop to it. This thing is a threat to all metas and semi-metas. and semi-metas. This threat is serious and I'm putting our race, not that we are

different species, on the very verge of extinction. We must all band together and find the source my all means No, that's what that says. Find the source my all means and butt a stop to it. find this source my all means

and butt a stop to it now for the past month I have been researching alone for the possible source of all our powers disappearing so far my solo search has turned up nothing but for one thing the sun for some reason I feel that my powers are drawn to the moon, the sun. For some reason, I feel

that my powers are drawn to the moon and the sun for some reason. I don't know if it's for a magical reason or if I just like sunny days and moonlight nights. I think most of you feel the same way. Yes, I do like enjoyable weather. Okay.

Now for the people who feel connected with the sun, you might understand. But for the people who feel connected to the moon, might not. And I will explain why the sun affects the moon. Good? I don't know that that's necessary. I mean, that's moving a little bit beyond the browser tips that we were getting on the top of the page. Listen, you could learn some astronomy from this.

The moon's brightness is not caused because of... Yes? What is the cause of the moon's brightness? I fell in a crack on the sidewalk for a second there. Let me stand back up and try this again.

The moon's brightness is not because is not caused because of the color of the surface but because it reflects the sun's light now my powers started to dissipate over a year ago and the sun had gone through a cycle of over 200 days of no sunspots my body might have felt the changes early. And when that happened before, the effects were felt around the world. Oh my god! Yeah, I remember that.

So maybe it is the cause of our powers disappearing, but this is only a theory. Update. I got new information off the site, and they picture posted might indicate that there are possible solar source from the sun is concentrated at.

What? Wow. Now, my idea to stop this from affecting us. My idea is a long shot and it requires a ton of people, maybe everyone with abilities. My plan is to

attack the sun. Yay! requires a ton of people, maybe everyone with abilities. My plan is to... attack the sun! Yay! Oh, good luck. Good luck, sir. Now, I don't mean physically, I mean with our own energy. Maybe, just maybe, if we all use our combined

forces from everywhere and everyone, all metas, semi-metas, and people who lost their powers because you still might have energy left to use. Wouldn't that be meta-metas? Yeah. Good one. Thanks. We.

We. Yes, hello, I'm the return of the crickets. Hi, cricket! We can use them all at the same time. We could neutralize the thing that is affecting our powers. Now, I know this is a long shot by any stretch of the imagination, but hey! That's why we're here.

We are the ones that use to be only in people imaginations. Good point. Stog! Yes? What do you want to talk about here? Well, I'm Puzzles84 and a friend. You get a bonus, superhero. That's a great username.

I'm Puzzles84 and a friend, and my friend can control biological functions. I'm the Ryan Lewis part of this duo. Oh, I have a power. It's called intuitive understanding. And my friend's power is biological manipulation. My friend can poop. I can't.

I am pooping is haram for me. I have always felt like I was linked to others through some unknown force. I do have unnatural abilities, but the really important power belongs to my best friend, who shall remain nameless and genderless to protect their identity from anyone who would want to cause harm or disturb their peaceful life. If we knew the gender, then we would find them. As soon as I met this person, I felt an automatic link to them. It happened back when we were 15. My friend's sibling had been bothering us the whole weekend,

causing my friend a lot of unnecessary frustration. This was the night that my best friend's powers manifested. With little concentration, my friend's sibling's eyes blistered over, and the diagnosis had claimed a fever had caused the blisters. You mean like the little HUD that just appeared over that person? Yeah.

Yeah. All the little Sherlock graphics that appeared over. I got the chivo for blisters. You know, my friend met his eyes blister over and he just fell over

onto the ground and there was a little STN icon that stood for stun right over him. You pressed both triggers at once and it went into x-ray mode. Yeah. That's where my intuitive understanding comes from. I have Batman's detective mode.

Okay, stop. Somehow I knew that they could control biological functions. They use this Somehow. Somehow. Yeah, somehow. Somehow Yeah somehow I might have given it away Somehow my Somehow my friend's magical

Blister abilities They use these abilities to heal A sibling's psychological disorder And to seize up the lungs of an assailant Ooh Made someone not crazy, then killed guy. Yep. Yeah.

I have seen these gifts in action and believe there are others like us and those that emulate us. Great. I'm like the girl from Firestarter, except I'm really unfocused. The Prodigy song? Jack Chick.

Yes, hello, let me- Jack Chick Furious has something to say about this. Intuitive understanding seems to be common in empaths. Agreed! You figured out the puzzle of Buzzle84.

And friend. And friend. Your avatar shouldn't be the Joker, youuzzle 84. And friend. And friend. Your avatar shouldn't be the Joker. You're clearly the Riddler. Come Quazop, what did you find for yourself? The story about me, Super D, and my partner, Fantastic M. Pressing Control-T will open a new tab

in your browser. That's I mean that's useful but pressing Control-Alt-F4 will close all tabs in Internet Explorer except the current one. But that requires three buttons.

Show of hands, who uses Internet Explorer? Username, SuperDFantasticM. SuperDFantasticM. What's the title of your... The Story About Me, Super D, and My Partner, Fantastic M. Powers. We have many powers, including exoskeletons. Never age.

Super intelligence. Super intelligence. Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Hey, you can be super intelligent and still have a learning disorder that makes spelling difficult for you. That's fair. Can control nuclear substances. All the sexy ladies want to be with us.

all the sexy ladies want to be with us. In 1945, we were just chillaxing in Hiroshima. Picking on all the Japanese ladies that craved to have sex with a real man. Hey, wait a minute, SuperDFantasticHem. Gross. I don't think this post is genuine. When all the sudden, a atomic bomb hit us dirtily.

Right. Great. Great. The blast surprisingly did not kill us. We realized that there was something wrong with a re-body and we had exoskeletons. God, I love the consistency

with that. We also felt elote smarter and soon realized we were the smartest people on the planet. Also, all the hottest ladies wanted us, but that was already true. Wolfenstein.

The B-Boy 360 Chronicles. Recently, we have discovered that we can control nuclear substances, and since we have exco skeleton, we can survive radiation.

We have decided that it's time for the world to end. We're getting the top 100 super time for the world to end. We're getting the top 100 supermodels in the world, putting them in a bunker, and then unleashing all hell upon the earth. No one will survive except the supermodels, Super D and Fantastic M.

These Suda51 games keep on getting weirder. All right. all right uh nutshell moving on to home slash forum slash superpowers slash how to change the world your name is ben rap with two p's seven and uh what are you doing here everyone who has or believe has powers must do as I say. I'm sorry, what is the title of your post here? Gathering all supers! Okay. Well, we're all here.

We're all gathered around, anxiously listening to what you have to say. Regale us. The conclave of slumlords has commenced! Everyone who has Or believe has powers Must do as I say I believe I can speak to insects

They have an enemy who humans do not know exist They believe that the spices That they call Saradas Plan to become the dominate spices And destroy everything else. No, not the cold, the oregano. No.

Oregano's an herb. That's an oregano spice. If enough people join a team, we might, just might, be able to defeat them. My email is benrap7 at hotmail.com. Tell me what you think. I think I'm going to Google your email address. I can control time. Oh, is that anonymous over there?

No. Yes. Oh. You're out of yourself, you moron. Oh, dang it. I have the ability to stop time like a bullet time or something. And when I'm too bad, it stops for a second.

I can't control it. It just happens on its own. My parents say that is my imagination or I was dreaming, but I can't convince them. If anyone knows how to control it, please help. Anonymous, away! So it's bullet time, but it just happens? Yes.

Okay. I mean, maybe you could take a little bit less Percocet. No. Just a suggestion. I'm anonymous. I'm Id Kelsey. Time manipulation is very

possible. You are simply dealing with the control of particles in the time travel through what you know as the line of time. Linear time. E equals MC2, right? This means on one side we have energy, on the other side we have matter moving

at the speed of light squared. I have that in my math book. Right, you're basically there. Yeah, Einstein was onto something. Something. Why are you laughing? You don't think Einstein was onto anything? No, I didn't. I didn't even consider it until now.

Great. Anyway, keep in mind that we are constantly surrounded by energy. The key is the fulcrum. There is a point between the matter moving and energy where it no longer matter and yet

is to be energy. Uh, I, if you're able to freeze frame things for only, if only for a second, you have touched this fulcrum. I, uh,

no, no, start small. No, work your way up. That's nope. That's not how that works. It Kelsey out.

Okay. Bye.ty out. Okay, bye! Thanks for all the science. Whoosh! I'm I'm air. One war, two war, we're all crazy. One war, two war, red war,

blue war. Either we are fighting the same war, or fighting different wars, or you're crazy. Can you see the insect enemies? If so, what do they look like? Or find out?

Also, anyone got any animals who have died? I mean, no. Any animals who have died? I mean, no. Any animals who have died? Anyone's who would want to save the world? Willing to give their last chance to live to save the world? What? If so, tell them to look to the air. These questions are all related?

The wind, the water, the ocean-y, the earth, the ground, the fire, the flames, and that we will find them and they will be heroes. What? Okay. Okay. So let's see. Okay. So if you know any animals who have died, like, intimately, like in the biblical sense, then you can save the world with air.

Right? Did I parse it correctly? Yeah, absolutely. Good, good, good, good, good, good. Enemies! Huh? Enemies! Huh?

Oh, it's me, Anonymous, again. Enemies. Nah. Well, I thought you were saying enemies. No, I said enemies! Okay. Jeez! Anyway, ha ha!

Their enemies are evil leopard geckos. Sorry, I'm being rude. Sure are. Yes, you are. Evil Gecko Force 5! Ha ha ha! Ha ha! Not ha ha ha! None of us away!

Most of it. 5.45 AM. You need something to do before it's too late. Like over a year later. Alright, uh, Jack Chick? Yes, hello. Uh, I'm going to give you two options here, and I'm going to have you pick from which of those seems the most interesting to you, all right? Okay. Sounds good.

You can either read the profile of Elemental Demon Seal Blitz. I don't know if that's a move or if that's a person or I don't know. Why can't it be both? Yeah. Elimantel Demon Seal Blitz. That's one option. And the other option is a forum post entitled World War

3. I'm going to go with the profile. The profile of El demon seal blitz. All right. So your name is... Your name is Sunjo... Your name is Sunjo Tenchiha?

Maybe that's Sungo Tenchiha? Yeah, it's that. Okay. Elemental Demon Seal Blitz. Powers. Elemental user of the nine main elements. A powerful elemental wolf demon. Of course.

A powerful... The cuddliest demon a powerful elemental wolf demon that contains one powerful element within each of its tails currently sealed within body mind and soul as it was passed on me like so many family members

before me since I'm a rare breed of a forgotten race called a Blitz, which is half human and half angel, able to hold and tame demons, sadly my gender had to change in order to keep the tame within me. I'm currently a boy gender form, but my true form is a girl during evenings, eclipses, or true threaten of someone or loosing my life.

Boy. Go on. Go on, please, please. I want to hear more about this. Fascinating. My transformation changed me to either Yoko the Ninetail Demon Wolf in a She-Wolf girl state or Sia Fallen Archangel in my Demi-Human Angel girl state.

Each of them are very powerful and equally even in spirit tall power. That's great. My name's Colin Conlon and I have intuitive understanding. Conlon can figure things out with intense thought. I have this odd feeling that I'm different I have an affinity With weapons and music I don't know what these are called

I can also Sometimes figure out things that would just Seem hard just by Thinking really hard about them Nice power Thanks really hard about them. Nice power. Thanks! The very last thing we're going to be touching

on is a thread which I think might interest us as a podcast, as a group. And this thread is called Weather Control and Chemtrail Elimination. This is the real deal, folk-duck, and I need help with this superpower. Yeah.

Sure, but what about my organs? Yes, so this will be, I think, a thing that will interest us greatly. Svagum here notes that this is a very long piece, and so he has helpfully truncated it in the document available on THEFPL.us. Taking away Mr. Boots Reingear. Yeah, I'm Omni Orion. Weather control in chemtrail elimination. This is the real the real deal folk and i need help with this superpower yay july 31st 2008 dear friends life is not easy and i want to encourage you to keep

doing what you know is right i just found this site today and in search for other people or groups that might believe in what i do or be like me. I am so utterly alone. It's the most horrible feeling of having to live and know that you are different and yet no one around you really believes you and you can't do anything about it and no one really knows you anymore because they think you're joking and you're crazy. And if you tell them who you really are, I am afraid to get counseling over this. Oh, sorry. No, I didn't.

Okay. I was sure I skipped a line there. Why are you having trouble reading this? I'm afraid to get counseling over this professionally because I think they may think I am crazy and try to lock me up for doing the universe's work of eliminating the chemtrails.

Yeah! lock me up for doing the universe's work of eliminating the chemtrails. Yeah! Don't fuck with the deep state, buddy. That's your own fault. Universe chemtrails. I have talked to pastors trying to get counseling, but they say that it is from

the devil or that I am possessed. My whole family thinks I'm crazy. My friends, who I have told, just sort of chuckle or become confused. In my own mind, I am really needing friends because of the energetic and astral challenges that go along with saving the world, so to speak. I eliminate chemtrail on a mass basis.

Oh, well, thanks! You know what? Thank you! Please let me finish. I appreciate it. I eliminate chemtrail on a mass basis and huge quantities of negative energies or evil dominions that try to... No, no, no, that's not what that's not what's evil. Oh!

Or evil domininions. That's negate of energies, too. Dominoninions. Dominoninions. That's Nikita of energies too. Dominoninions. Dominoninions. Evil dominos. That try to dominate the Earth game. Tag! I am so misunderstood and I just want to live life and have fun

like anyone else. I bet there are other people out there that feel how I feel. I want to find you and tell you you're not crazy. It's the people who refuse to believe in Mahik and love that are crazy. If you're pouring yourself out for this world like I am doing, I want to know that way you know I love you and I want to help you, that I care deeply.

With that said, this is my original posting that I posted on educateyourself.org and abovetopsecret.com the gentleman that runs educateyourself.org Yay! Doing a story on it or talking with me further but we have yet to really toll on the phone or anything. I am posting this so I can connect with other people who might believe Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! fair weather, but most importantly, I am able to battle the chemtrails, which are being sprayed to block out the sun and cut us off from our higher selves. Tag!

Tag! Oh, you got tagged. The basic ritual involves extracting my semen, a valid form. Oh, I love this fucking post. A valid form of orgone energy, putting it in water and then adding

an herb to it, thereby creating a potion of orgone with a modifier or helpful earth grid influence. I use... I'm sorry! Cum with basil in it? Sir, are you ordered to come with basil? Basil?

That is not going to do well at the 4-H fair. Parsley, sage, rosemary, and cum. I used to then pour it in a sandy place, but it was interfer- Interre- Whoa, okay. Interfer-nig. Inter- Inter- Fer-nig. No, okay. Interferenig.

Interreferenig. Nope. Interreferenig. Yeah. Interreferenig. Because of small leaves and things, so now I have found that I can vaporize the potion with a small cook stove. I bet that smells great. Oh, God.

Does the air smell a little cummy in here? Oh, God. Does the air smell a little cummy in here? I use a cup which must be clean, and I use Aquafina bottled water so as not to have any unseen element in the water interfering with the success of the potion. I think the Coca-Cola company paid him for that product placement. What is this boiling water you speak of? There's salt in it. I figured out that I have to do this every three days in a cycle.

Oh, boy. I have to do it after sundown and before sunrise for the filing or spell to be accepted for the next three days and keep the chemtrails and bad energy and create the weather as dictated by the particular potion I create. I also have to do this night ritual on any day within three days after or before the full moon or the new moon and also on half moon days. Why? Why do you have to? Does it matter? Does it matter?

I traveled for many years pursued by the Matrix, some sort of... Explain what the Matrix is. What is the Matrix, some sort of... Explain what the Matrix is. What is the Matrix? Some sort of negative force that through artificial synchronicity tries

to disrupt the activities of light workers. See Montauk.net. You bet. Is that the place where I can talk about Montel Williams? You can talk about Montel Jordan there This is how we discuss it And doing the potion to stop the chemtrails

With astonishing success In about 75% of the time But with all the traveling and chaining circumstances I was not always successful Anyways, I hate America A lot and just want to leave Oh god I have wanted to kill

This is so much better than LiveJournal I have wanted to kill myself to escape But I am hoping It still won't come to that It seems there's a form of mind control or something That keeps me here even when I make a bit of mind control or something that keeps me here. Even when I make a bit of money, I'll get sidetracked into trying to make money with a business or start a

rock band. Like you do. Oh man. Oh man. Band camp. It seems increasingly unlikely that I will be sidetracked any longer, however, give Yen my awareness of the situation.

Tag! Um, I just need help in doing the ritual. Let me outline a few rissone. As I said, the conditions must be right, and the potion must not be polluted in any way. You know, like with somebody else's gum, I guess.

Yeah. Also, something that I have found is that when I do it in the same place in a row, then, bi-cally, my protection against ne-ne-gitive synchronicity starts diminishing. Synchronicity, maybe? Synchronicity starts diminishing. Synchronicity maybe? Synchronicity. Yes. It starts diminishing and I get disrupted

so usually I have to alternate between a spot at least a half mile away in order to distribute the load of energy, so to speak. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I'm not exactly sure why I am like this or that I'm discouraged by events

from doing it the same place in a row. This factor alone has made things much more difficult in carrying out the ritual. Also, it seems that if I have a spot that it starts getting messed with, so to speak, because the unseen forces know that that is where I'm going to be. Tag! So, I just needed help to do this work and use my gift as efficiently as possible. I could really succeed more often if I was working with a small team of people who made sure that I was alright somehow. I am very willing to work and pave my own way, but it is nearly impossible with what seems like half of the matrix after me for doing what I do.

I eventually realized I needed to dress conservatively in order to fit in and do the ritual more effectively. I became a construction worker in order to provide for the ritual. It was almost lewk. I had a child, and I had to conform to certain societal norms in order to get work and provide properly. Oh, your societal norms, huh? I'll play your game. It's only parents that need to do that. I also started talking in a British accent

because it seemed to hide my identity more from people who had somehow seemed to know I was coming or simply hated anyone who had love or something. Hello, Game.gov. I'm just going to jizz on your crosswalk here. Hello. I am a British human. We call it a. Hello, I am a British human.

In England, we call it a lorry. I am a British human. Could I have one of your jobs? Anyways, I eventually perfected it and used it to get work doing construction because the typical contractors like to hire someone who can't sue them if they get hurt on the job.

So by being British, they assumed... So by being British, they assumed that I was illegal. I did all this so the ritual could be successful. We need to stem the tide of illegal immigration by building a wall in the middle of the Atlantic. Yeah, we have by building a wall in the middle of the Atlantic.

Yeah, we have to build a wall in the middle of the Atlantic. Tog, my lud. Shit. Did you say cootin' tog? No, I said tog, my lud. He's speaking in a British accent, obviously. Of course. Of course, I didn't understand it for some reason.

It's a British man. It's a British man, obviously. Of course. Of course, I didn't understand it for some reason. It's a British man. It's a British man in our podcast. I am a British man with one of your American jobs. Oh my god. I am just waiting for 2012. Well, that seems like

a long time, Top Went. And why did nothing yet happen in 2012? You see, we have to be proactive against this. He said, you see, we have to be proactive about this. That's what he said in his actual English accent.

Maybe something is going on and there are others that are involving as well. Oh my god. Maybe we could help them. We all have to work together or we're gonna get toasted. No.

What? Regards, Luke Crisco. Yep. Luke Crisco. Sincerely, Luke Crisco sincerely Luke Crisco slash Omni I think the most British word that I've ever heard is regards

the Crisco kid was a friend of mine holy shit so what did we learn from this episode F plus holy shit so what did we learn from this episode F plus I just googled Luke Crisco

and he's known he's apparently known as the porta potty peeper tell me more perfect voice for a bed oh my god oh holy shit Tell me more. I picked the perfect voice for him, then. Oh, my God. He, um... Oh, holy shit! He was arrested in 2011

for hiding inside the tank of a port-a-potty in order to scope the underside of users at a Boulder area yoga festival. Oh, my God! Holy shit! Wow. Oh, my God. By the way, if you're making docs, I'm just, I mean, I'm looking at Montauk.

I mean, I haven't looked at much of it. I don't know. I don't know if it's a dead end or not, but, like, it sure does look good. Yep. I remember, I mean, when we started, before we started recording this podcast, we were talking about, you know, like various things that we could read. And I was like, because there's a document about sucking your own dick, which is fun. But then, like, there's a whole lot of cum that's in that document. And I was like, well, let's do the one about real superpowers, because cum won't show up, right?

Yeah. Forgetting the nature of F plus things, I suppose. Yeah, Neil Ryan slash Luke Crisco has things to say about that. Yeah, so teenagers on the internet, still teenagers on the internet, right? Yeah, I mean, what's confusing to me about this is that like um what do you think causes i mean because definitely uh you can look at this and you can look at like the sidebar has these like recent comments uh recent comments are anyone still here i am i'm here um and uh so there was definitely like a bell curve about you

know use of the site what do you think causes that spike in popularity and what causes to fall off like you mean like supernatural okay well there's there's a reply to one of those questions, and I looked at a bunch of them. And somebody was like, yeah, I totally would come back here, but somebody has to make all the bots stop posting first. And, you know, nobody joined the website that had the superpower of you know, make bots stop posting. So that caused the fall, at least. That makes sense, yeah. I mean, you gotta moderate these kind of things, you know?

You have too much spam, people will leave. What do you think the Turbo War game is? The future? Ooh, my god. That's probably some dumb multiplayer thing. TurboWar.com. The year is 2018. is the future. Oh my god. How fast can you hide in a porta potty? TurboWar.com. The year is 2018. All major wars have been replaced by rapid skirmishes.

This looks like... Did you ever do BBSs? This looks like Legend of the Red Dragon to me. Anyway, the website as always is thehefpl.us Our forum is BallPits and on the website as always is thefpl.us our forum is ball pit and on the website

thefpl.us we have stickers and our stickers are in support of the Southern Poverty Law Center so the money that we make from the sticker sales goes to the Southern Poverty Law Center so that they get our money and I get their

emails. Boy, do they send a lot of emails. Donate, please. And yeah, if you actually donate to the podcast, then we get that money. So do both of those things. Buy the stickers, then donate. Please. Bye. Bye. Don't hide in the porta potty.

Yes. Don't hide in the porta potty yes bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night. He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight I need a hero I'm holding on for a hero till the morning light He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life So I'll see you next time.