The F Plus - 247: r/eally_sorry_about_that

Episode Date: March 21, 2017

Personal relationships can be difficult to manage, and there are times when people look for advice from the people closest to them. This is all well and good, but what happens when your closest friends are the anonymous chowderheads on Reddit? Well, in that case things get complicated. This week, The F Plus gives Heather some erasers.

Hey there, listener, and welcome to the F Plus Podcast. It's a wonderful and comforting place for terrible things, as I've read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reign Gear. My love for Pokemon is what I am judged by, and it's uncomfortable. How deal with this? John Zost. TLDR. Girlfriend bought a Cthulhu doll.

She's starting to treat it like it's real. It's haunting my dreams, and it's banished me from the couch. Yes, Fahan. What I mostly do is write original stories with characters out of popular culture, like video games or anime, which usually have an erotic undertone. It's the same with my drawings. Jimmy Franks? My girlfriend of two plus years

will not give attention to my penis. And Lemon. There's this girl at school that I like and on the internet she seems really nice, but in person there are so much faggots jumping around, so I got in the state of mind where she's acting like a whore, and she is not, I guess? Oh.

I don't know. There's, like, the faggot jumping around, and, like, she seems like a whore, but she's not a whore. I don't know what to do. What do I do, Reddit? Let's find out! Right now. Whatever the answer is, one of the extremes.

Yes. There's no middle ground, ever. The answer is to's one of the extremes. Yes. There's no middle ground ever. The answer is to get better at video games. Hey, F+. Hello, Linden. Hi, Lemon. Hey, so it's a room of gentlemen here in this podcast. It's not, you know, particularly unusual for you, but I...

Finally. John Toast, is it a problem in your life with all of the sort of women, like, you know, like, horning in on your masculine energy? Yes, I sure do get tired of all the women around me at all times. It really gets tiring. What sort of things do the women in your life say? Oh, they say, can you buy me a shoe cake? Interesting. Where's the Nordstroms?

Wow. Wow. I don't know. You live in magical pixie reality. That's terrific. I do. Well, so I want to that make you feel loved, that make you feel cared for,

that make you feel at peace and welcome. You know what I'm talking about? Totally. This might be good. I'm feeling a little heartbroken today. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, the Vietnamese market

that I buy all my Mexican food from is closed. Do you want to just say that sentence one more time? I'd say this is actually true. i think they had trouble with branding the vietnamese market that i buy all my mexican food from is not closed wait wait wait wait wait they closed down the melting pot oh man jesus uh anyway uh i want to take us to a place um that's all about um uh caring and and softness and comfort and i am ready to expand my heart and and level up in emotional literacy absolutely terrific so we're going to go to Reddit. Oh. And it goes south so fast. Already.

Yeah, so this is a subreddit called r slash relationships. The header of r slash relationships is a man and woman fighting with each other.

So that's a good sign. It's for people who think visually, oh, well, I'm in the right place. Maybe he's feeding her like a peanut from his mouth. Oh, yeah. No, I don't think so. All right. Do I have a cavity?

So r slash relationships is where we're going here. Not the most popular Reddit, but definitely a very popular Reddit. 613,494 readers. We're going to start with John Toast. And John, your name is throwaway partner. So here's throwaway account. You got 93 F-boats. Out the window.

Good self-esteem already. I'm your throwaway partner, no matter who you are. Well, usually when something's named throwaway on Reddit, it's because it's like an account you make just to post this. So there's probably a lot of shit that they don't want attached to them. So that's good. What do you give that account? Throwaway partner.

The Reddit advice cowboy. Hello. I am the throwaway partner. I, 23 females, no, 23-year-old female, just found out that my partner,

a 26-year-old male, has a weird fetish. Not sure how to proceed. I think we can be the judge of whether or not the fetish is weird. Yes. Yes, we're very impartial. Yes. I think our basis of weird fetishes is pretty much honed into the norm, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the short version of it. While rearranging some furniture, I found a stash of adult diapers. And then the weird thing underneath the adult diapers? He has mentioned something along the lines of trying if we like

ABDL stuff a few years ago, but I never took it seriously and jokingly laughed it off. Well, that's your first mistake. That's your first mistake. Ha ha ha! Okay, let's never mention your fetish again. Sound good? Hmm. How does this person

know that acronym? Hmm. Eh, the internet. Well, here's the long version. We're on Reddit. We have been together for almost eight years now, and for the last few months, we lived together in our own little studio. He is off to a convention this week,

and I decided to spend my Sunday rearranging some furniture. Basically rotate the room 180 degrees to avoid sun glare on the TV. We didn't talk about rearranging the room. It was one of my weekend whims. To think that if I brought this up to him, he would have argued against it, or that he would have hidden his stuff somewhere else. Why?

Because I found a stash of adult diapers. Ellipsis. Weird one-sided conversation with him, but okay. The closets that have a bottom part that is hollow and open on the backside. A full sentence, apparently. Like his pants.

I always wondered about those. Why do you wear those? When I started moving them around, I discovered more than a dozen adult diapers and a half-empty pack of dry nights. I don't know what that... I assume... Sounds like a fantasy monster. You must slay ten dry nights

and break up with your boyfriend. So he was obviously hiding them from me. I was a little shocked at first and had a movie-style flashback to a few years ago. There was this episode of, I believe, CSI with someone who had this diaper slash baby fetish, hired a nanny for

himself, etc. Maybe someone knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, let's see where I like to get all my information about fetishes is broadcast network television. That's where most people do. Hang on, I haven't discussed mass media yet. I'm sorry, Internet. TV show.

Well, after it ended, he, I suppose, made a joke about how we should try wearing diapers. He laughed very nervously and awkwardly. I could actually see the sweat coming out of his pores. It did the movie-style

zoom in on his forehead Where he was sweating Let's see Where are I Okay Since I supposed it was just a joke I laughed about it, teased him a little Not in a mean way

And changed the subject to our plans for tomorrow Haha that's fucked up So anyways what are we doing out in a mean way and change the subject to our plans for tomorrow. Ha ha, that's fucked up. So anyways, what are we doing? Now that I found this stash, I think he may have tried to tell me about his fetish, but I think I reacted in such a way that I scared him. But he is not the only one who is scared. I don't think it really is something for me, but if it is not too bad, I am willing to do the thing every now and then for him.

Nope. No. Lemon, this is the person you said didn't exist who, like, is into it after the other episode. You know what? Actually, I slept on it a little bit. It's fine. We're in the third

stage of grief here. Bargaining. Does anyone over here... Okay, so these are like bullet points. Number one. Does anyone over here have any experience with their partner's weird fetish that does not appeal to you?

How did you handle it? Any ideas on what to expect? From what I have found on some of those fetish forums, they can range from him just liking to wear them to, well, less appealing things. I did not find any baby clothes. I can safely assume that he is more a wearer than an adult baby? Yeah, safely.

Absolutely. You know, I was freaked out by your fetish, but now I'm more disappointed in your lack of commitment. Oh, just the diapers, huh? I don't know. Look back to last Halloween and answer this question. Did he dress as Shirley Temple? How should I confront him? If he sees the rearranged living room, he will know.

But I prefer to just talk about it. No, I don't think you should. I think you should, in your eight-year-old relationship, you should not discuss matters of this kind of importance. I think that's best of just, like, you know, try to mention something and just see if he notices and then leave it under the table. It's fine. Just let it fester into a deep resentment until we show up on the news. It's fine. Anyways, I put his stuff

in a Tupperware box and put it in our bedroom closet. Even if I don't like it, he doesn't have to hide it anymore now that I know. I also may have shuffled some data to try to minimize the chances of him seeing this. We both use Reddit, and I hope he doesn't see this.

My decision to post here. The worst thing that could happen is we confronting each't see this. My decision to post here. The worst thing that could happen is we confronting each other about this. We're playing like Tron light cycles with our Reddit accounts to just get anybody but each other's input on this matter.

Oh man, I crashed into a creepy wall. Another quarter. To my significant other, if you piece this out, don't worry, I crashed into a creepy wall. Well, another quarter. A little happened. To my significant other, if you piece this out, don't worry. I'm not mad, and we eat pasta when you get back. Oh, that's her signal. Or her fetish. I know it's her.

She's the one that eats pasta. Shuffled my data around. Hi, I'm a 26-year-old male, and my 23-year-old female significant other just has a pasta fetish. I was looking it up. So, dry night seems to be a British thing, and it's like pull-ups. It's like, you know, like pull-up diapers.

However, the sizes go up to 8 years old. So, I'm confused at how this 26-year-old man managed to fit into a diaper made for an eight-year-old. Maybe he attached a couple together like zip ties when they don't reach all the way around.

So, wait. He also has four legs. So wait, dry nights are British, so I should have done this. Okay, well let me redo this. All right, 23 female. Just found out. All all right moving on um uh jimmy franks yeah uh you're a 25 year old male and uh you're having some uh relationship problems with your lady friend is that right that right? That's right. What's that? Okay. I, 25 male, got distracted by the TV during sex, and my girlfriend, 25 female, was offended

and says I must not be attracted to her. How do I fix this? Turn off the fucking TV. Oh, no. Come on. No. But fuck, it lasts for like four or five minutes. I mean, come on.

That's longer than a commercial break. Yeah. So my girlfriend of four months can't sleep unless the, come on! That's longer than a commercial break. So, uh, my girlfriend of four months can't sleep unless the TV's on in the background. Doesn't matter if it's Netflix, random TV channel, etc. I actually sleep better without

background noise, but I figured I could learn to live with this quirk now I've trained myself to fall asleep anyway. She also says she can't fall asleep in my apartment because I don't have a TV in my room. So we spend almost all our nights at her apartment, which is also not a problem. The problem is that she also likes having the TV on while we're having sex.

Again, she picks a DVD or just chooses a random thing on Netflix or TV. Okay, that's not how I expected the story to go. All right. on Netflix or TV. Well, okay. That's not how I expected the story to go. All right. Yeah.

I've also accepted that quirk and it normally hasn't been a problem because I'm too into the sex to focus on the TV, but occasionally I've been temporarily distracted by it when something like Law & Order SVU comes on.

Oh, what the fuck? Or Mass Media. Holy shit! I think she's trapping you. And characters are graphically talking about rape or other horrific crimes. But then I just ignore it and refocus extra hard on the

task at hand and I'm able to forget about it. Last night... The little engine that could. I think I can come. I think I can come. I think I can come. Last night, she put on the final Harry Potter film as background noise when we were fooling around. And I was so into going down on her and getting her off a bunch of times that I was able to ignore the TV. But then, when she started blowing me, it was during the big battle in Hogwarts.

So you must have come right away then. With lots of screams and explosions and Fred Weasley was dying. Oh, yeah. Hey, guys. It was really hard to focus on what she was doing just because the movie was so loud and violent and sad. I kept my eyes closed and tried to mentally block it out, but it didn't work. She noticed that I wasn't staying hard,

and I apologized and said that I was being distracted by the loud movie, and it's a sad part because Fred just died. She burst into tears and immediately got dressed and said she'd never been more disrespected in her life. She was sad that Fred died too. She definitely had. Wait, I haven't actually seen this movie. I know that this girl has a long track record of being disrespected.

And she said that I had said the rudest thing that she'd ever heard. And that if I was really into her, then I'd be able to just ignore the TV like she does and then she left the bedroom to go cool off by herself. So I waited a bit before I went into the other room and apologized again. I said that I wasn't used to having the TV on in the background, but she's had years of experience with that, so that's why it's easier for her to ignore it than it is for me. She was in the bathroom watching TV. for me. She was in the bathroom watching TV.

I also said that I really only get distracted by the TV when it's loud or violent, and that if she needs the TV on, I'd prefer it be something lighthearted and upbeat. You know, a comedy, a rom-com, something like that. It doesn't have screaming or explosions or death.

No, no, you must get hard and finished during Todd Slawn's happiness. We're through. You know what, Todd? I came too. I'm champagne. Plus, we're both huge Harry Potter fans, and I explained that it was even harder for me to ignore the movie because I could picture what's happening even with my eyes closed. She was still really mad and then just went to bed angry.

I had to leave early for work this morning while she was still asleep we haven't really talked since then please help me reddit what do i do in this situation and then and then a tldr uh so that relationship is uh terrific yeah It's really good. What an odd benchmark for the relationship. You must, if you get distracted by the movie, it's like a mini game or something. Yeah, absolutely. Take your attention away long enough. It is kind of like something that would happen during one of those Grand Theft Auto dates.

He's living hot coffee. It is kind of like something that would happen during one of those Grand Theft Auto dates. Oh, yeah. He's living hot coffee. And then, Boots, your name is Super Shy Cat. So you're in response to this here. Yeah. Whoa. Major overreaction. For one thing, it's Harry Potter,

which I'm pretty sure could successfully distract me out of being dead, especially that final scene. Excellent. For another, she needs the TV on during sex? What? The mind boggles. Thanks for being helpful as always reddit i'm having this problem are you serious that's crazy dude i like harry potter goodbye

um all right we're gonna move on and uh Isfahan, you are a 16-year-old male. Yes, I am. Your name is Ecstasy Plowman Life. I purchased this account from a spam bot. How much did it cost? How much did it cost? Okay, me, 16-year-old male, with my parents, male and female in their 40s. My parents saw me naked with a boner while I had a fray over.

A fray? Now they think I'm gay. So, quote-unquote Chuck, stayed over at the weekend, and we did what guys do after watching porn. Okay. This is normal, right? Okay, yep. Chuck wanted to know how big I was and not being shy.

Okay, what the hell? Somebody's gay. Somebody's gay in here. Not being shy. I showed him. Standing on my bed, stark bollock naked with a boner. Oh's gay in here. Not being shy, I showed him. Standing on my bed, stark bollock naked with a boner. Oh, I'm British. Mom walked in as I was waggling it around and then walked out. Did he ask him to waggle it around, too?

Or did he think, oh, I can spice this up a bit? Hey, Freddy, can you do the helicopter dick again? Okay. Well, your parents thinking you're gay is actually probably pretty like a concession to you because there are only other alternatives to think you're the stupidest person in the world. Well, since then, I've had multiple conversations with both her and dad about how it's okay to tell them anything, and how they will continue to love me no matter what I choose to do with my life.

Secretly, I think they are hoping I am gay. Hoping? Turns out I'm just a creep! Joke's on you, Mom! Well, I'm not gay. I'd like to try a few things, but that's normal, isn't it? Uh-huh. Yeah, you're... Oh, this lampshade! I'd like to try a few things, but that's normal, isn't it? Uh-huh. Yeah, you're...

Oh, this lampshade. I can't see anybody here. Tomorrow I've got my boys' night out with Dad, and I'm dreading it, because I know he'll ask and not believe me. Great. My name's Zero Nine Customs. Just because you watch porn with your guy friends and show each other

your dicks doesn't make you gay but dog come on you know that has to look gay as shit totally fine but super gay also pretty weird but, who am I to judge you? You're on Reddit, so you're qualified. Yep. Are you sure you're not a teensy big gay? Your parents are supportive and there would be no shame if you are. Just sit them down and explain that it was

a big misunderstanding. And that horsing around just went a bit too far. Or bring a girl home one day, which might shut them up a bit. Hey, Mom and Dad, here's a girl. Oh, God! You're

heterosexual. Otherwise, she would burn your flesh. It's fine. She's already gone. That's fine. Thanks for proving my son straight I am Omaha-k Maybe it's Omaha, Kansas

Omaha-k First It's okay if you are gay But beyond that I'd react to questions from your dad with We just watched some big ol' Titty porn, and I was proud of my big hard dick,

and felt it needed to be shown off. Didn't mean for mom to see, though. It disappeared pretty quickly after that. Well, son, that sounds very heterosexual. Thank you for that explicit answer. Thank you for describing your dick to me. Once again, this is a subreddit on relationship

advice. Now, didn't we... I can't remember the episode where we did the porn DVD review forums. And wasn't there somebody in there, too, that was just like, hey, I'm looking for a bro to watch porn and jerk off with. But it's nothing gay. Nothing gay. No gay stuff. It comes up very frequently.

That's a thing. It's nothing gay. Nothing gay. No gay stuff. It comes up very frequently. That's a thing. It's a thing that buddies do. Yeah. Jimmy Franks, you have a question here. Your name is Remote Guy, the 21st. Yep. Coming in on VPN. Am I right to be resentful for no sex yet?

Towards who? I'm a 24 male in a long-distance relationship with a 23-year-old female. Everything's great. We've been together five years. Have a toddler. Whoa. No sex yet. Okay.

Okay. Okay. However, I'm only home once a week. I'm only home one week a month. Usually we have sex quite a bit to make up for the fact I'm not around. However, this time I've gotten nothing since. Got home Thursday night. Late.

She says no sex. I've started getting a cold and so has the kid. Okay, fine. I understand. The weekend, the only time she has off from her nanny job was taken up by an all weekend long hobby convention of hers. I don't know why that's in quotes. Not sure either.

That's what it's called. So she wasn't home until 9 to 10 p.m. every night. Friday night, the kid was up late coughing. Saturday night, she suggested shower sex, but right before getting in said, I probably won't do anything sexual. I'm too stuffed up. Hey, ho, ho, ho.

She likes some shower sex. By the way, no sex. Okay, I understand. Then she promised that maybe she'll make up for it with Head the next night. Next night, her friend that shares the same hobby came over. Which hobby? Yeah, the convention hobby.

The one that has conventions. Yes. And I went to bed before they did. No sex. Sunday said she was feeling better. No sex. No reason. That's like the setup to a joke. Today I kept Kit all day and she went to her nanny job at 6 a.m. till 5 p.m.

We met for dinner and then did some shopping. And all during shopping she kept dropping hints and saying how much she wanted to fuck me tonight. Kit went down at 9.30. I come downstairs. No sex. I'm too tired. I have to get me tonight. Get one down at 9.30. I come downstairs. No sex. I'm too tired. I have to get up at 5 a.m. tomorrow. Okay, fine.

I'm starting to like this girl now. Whatever. By now, it's starting to get to me. She asks if I'll come cuddle with her before she goes to bed. I say no, because cuddling and being close to her is really hard right now with how much I want to have sex with her. Whoops. She got mad with her. Whoops. She got mad at this.

Yep. Says I'm being selfish and cuddling shouldn't matter if it ends in sex or not. She went to bed pissed off and now I'm here more sexually frustrated than before because with me leaving on Thursday morning, sex is looking less and less likely. Hey, Reddit, I'm sexually frustrated. Am I allowed to post here? So was I wrong to have said no? Be gone with you, sir. I eventually went up to say goodnight

trying to explain my feelings, but it didn't seem to work. I'm not being pushy. I'm not asking every second. I know she's tired. I look after the kid as much as possible when I'm home. I just don't know what to do. It would really suck leaving for another three weeks without having that intimate time together, as it's one of the only things that gets me through more

time spent away from home. Wouldn't be so bad if she didn't keep up or keep teasing me, I guess. Keep getting my hopes up and ending with the blue balls because of it. You should mention the blue balls to her. That'll go over well. Maybe it hurts.

It's a medical thing. Am I unreasonable to expect sex every time I come home? Should I be worried? Where's the Where's the Where's the pussy?

Where's the pussy? Where's the pussy? Swear to God. Thought I was here. I've been away for a while. I seem to have misplaced my pussy. Where is that? Do you have it? And just scrolling down into the many, many, many comments,

I've seen three different instances of, quote, you sound like a bitch. Yeah. R slash, you sound like a bitch. I also see a lot of, hey, jerk it. Yep. Because I'm sure the guy describing this post is not masturbating at all it's like i didn't think of that users have you considered pornography you could do that that's a thing

uh username lissa says you've successfully made having sex with you into a job an obligation you've given her a quota sounds like like a blast. I know, but she won't fucking do it anyway. Just a cuddling shit. Mr. Boots Reingear. Hey. You got a question, and I don't, I

haven't, you know, I haven't read much of these, but I know that your question starts, will this be too much and creepy? Oh, yes. I'm looking forward to this. The answer is yes. F plus bait. I haven't seen any of it, and the answer is yes.

No Tim 235. And will this be too much and creepy? I, 16 male, got this girl, 17 female, some erasers. I already like the way this story is starting. So hear me out. Hear me out. So at class, she has these pencils, but no eraser tips on them. I was joking, of course, but I said I'm going to get you a bunch of erasers for Christmas

and fill up your backpack. She said I would actually love that. She like... It wasn't in quotes. She said that I would love that. Yeah, she said that you would actually like that. She's like making suggestions to you. Yeah, you do.

You would love to do that, wouldn't you? Did she waggle her fingers at you? So today I got a pack of three high polymer erasers, so it's the good kind. Are they backpack size? I was going to buy more, but I was thinking, eh, a small gift is fine. Okay. That's right. Hey, play it cool.

Play it cool. I would love to fill up your backpack, like, completely full of erasers. Holy shit, that would actually be kind of funny. Okay, here's three erasers. Holy shit, that'd actually be kind of funny. Okay, here's three erasers. Same effect, right? Should I go the extra mile and get more erasers and life savers candy? She told me the other day that she loves them

and can't stop eating them. Erasers? Erasers? Participles. I want to date a girl with pica. Can you help me? Is this creepy? I don't even have her number, but at school, we always say hi.

And we have great conversations. I know some girls will be creeped out. Edit. Like the comments said, yes, this girl has a boyfriend. Oh, well. They've been dating for more than a year now, I suppose, since I've seen her with him last year.

So will this be acceptable? Absolutely, yeah, you'll fucking push him out of the way with your white night sword. Hey, Heather, who's the jokest by giving you erasers? You're going to erase him from the picture. Listen, Heather, who's the circus been giving you erasers? You're going to erase him from the picture. Listen, Heather,

only one guy's allowed to give you the eraser. What I'm expecting out of this gift is us to be closer and comfortable to talk even more. Not for her to immediately break up and have sex. I mean, but, you know, if she's going to do that, I mean, I wouldn't say no. It's just really, you know.

Thanks for your input. You're welcome. And then you got more. Not sure where edit button is, but update. She gave me cookies first, and I didn't even ask for them. So then I gave her the erasers. At first, she wasn't expecting a present, so she was like, what is this? But when she opened them, she was laughing and loved them.

You're a sociopath. Thanks, deleted user. You're welcome. I must go now. Other subreddits need me. Oh, it's sociopath caller. Alright.

I'd like to think that that sociopath guy just says that on every post. Yeah. Look at this cute cat picture I found. You're a sociopath. He's like a broken clock but like a mirror image of it. He's like a broken clock that's somehow right 50% of the time's he's right 22 hours out

of the day yeah the the overwhelming consensus is that he should keep giving her unsolicited gifts oh yeah yeah no no no i mean prove your love prove your love your love. Girls love that. Bear your tour neck erasers if you can't refuse them. Give her four erasers tomorrow. Yeah. Give her a nativity calendar of erasers. Give her a chessboard. Put one eraser on the first square

and two erasers on the second square and four erasers on the third square. Make her move from, oh, that's funny that you remember that, to I'm going to call the police if you keep doing this. Get to that point as fast as possible. Hey, Reddit, this is probably something that nobody has any experience with, but my boyfriend, who's a 30-year-old male, plays video games all the time and refuses to let me, a 26-year-old female, join in because he thinks I suck. Well, do you? I mean, what's your ranking in Overwatch?

Spill it. That's the one with the guns. You're just guessing that because I'm the one saying it. the guns. You're just guessing that because I'm the one saying it. Well, I just have to say the word guns to you in order to placate you.

I'm like a dog seeing a squirrel. So like I was saying, I said to her, guns! Don't do that, Lemon. You'll trigger him. Oh, hey. Oh, boy.

Yay! My name's Ioni, and a year ago I asked this question. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. He spends the vast majority of his free time playing video games. Double hyphen. Xbox One, PS4, Steam, WoW, you name it. I never was a gamer, but when we first started dating, I realized that some of the games looked pretty fun,

and I wanted to give them a try. He let me play Portal 2 for about five minutes before he made me quit because I was giving him a headache because I couldn't steer. Is that the right word? Very well. And I was jerking around the screen. Watching other people play FPSs,

sometimes it just happens you get a headache. Ever since then, he refuses to let me play with him. says i suck and therefore would be no fun to play with wow no five minutes on portal two is all it took absolutely he's like you're hopeless you already shot the orange one oh my god no it's just like i threw you in the deep end of this you sag what what more do we need to do she's just like oh hey is this like a motel room it's just like in a... I threw you in the deep end of this, you sag. What more do we need to do? She's just like, oh, hey, is this like a motel room?

It's like, God, give me it back! Go away. Okay, so now I understand him not wanting me to play on a team or something, but why can't we just do a couch multiplayer game? Again, it's like terminology. It's weird that I know that. Anyway, just the two of us. I genuinely want to learn, but he refuses to teach me.

He tells me to learn on my own time. Do your homework. You must train for 100 games before you're ready to face me. You must train for 100 games before you're ready to face me. Just do the joystick calibration in Halo for an hour and come back to me. You've earned this. We will play Metal Slug together. I've been moving... Okay, so I don't want to invest in the console

because I'll be moving in with him in a few months. And then I... Yeah, no, why? Why wouldn't I do that? Because... Because... Because he sucks. What?

Because he sucks. No, I'm the one that sucks at video games. Like I explained before, I'm the one that sucks at video games. He doesn't suck at video... He's actually pretty good at video games. Boots must have gotten confused. Yeah, you're confused. I'm the one that sucks at video games. He doesn't suck at video games. He's actually pretty good at video games. Boots must have gotten confused. Yeah, you're confused. I'm the one that

sucks at video games. He's not the one that sucks at video games. By saying he sucks, you're wrong. You're the one that sucks here. Yeah, I'm the one that sucks. Okay, so I'm going to move in with him, obviously, in a few months, and then I will

never have time to use it because he's always gaming. And I don't really want to play by myself. I did download Steam on my laptop and have been playing a few games, but he tells me it's no use because it won't help me play console games. This guy's really dedicated to not encouraging you to try and adopt his hobbies. Holy shit. Oh my god. This is... Okay.

It really sucks that he has a couple of female friends that come over and play with him, but he refuses to help me learn. Dump him! He stuck you in the non-gamer ghetto. Why would I dump him, Jimmy Franks? Because he's the worst. Why is he... him, Jimmy Franks? He's the worst. No, he's really good at video games. You're mistaken, too.

You and Bruce are both confused. You're right, you're right. He's good at getting video games and terrible at everything else. No, he's good at a whole bunch of different video games, is my point. Okay, so since he's always playing without me, I'm usually stuck reading or watching Netflix by myself. We even got into a

fight the other day. I wonder about what? Oh, did you play Street Fighter? Yeah, I was going to say, he picked Dhalsim and kicked my ass. I asked him if he could teach me. He refused again. So I told him I would get one of his friends to teach me.

Oh, yeah. Your boy Jeff's got the biggest controllers. This is pretty much the plot of that one very early Simpsons episode. You mean Bonestorm? No, the boxing game. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like super early.

Anyway. So I told him, okay, so he freaked out and he said I was trying to make him feel bad like I was running to another guy for something he couldn't provide. Yeah, imagine that. Making the other person feel bad is my job. The thing is, he can provide it, he just refuses to. Do I need to

give up on asking him to play with me or or this just occurred to me, is he just being selfish? Nah. Nah. Okay.

Good. God, what's wrong with you? And then... I hope this is B-Boy 360. He's withholding sex from me until I get better at video games. All I can do is just practice my breakdancing. Win breakdancing competitions. Can't stick this dick in a non-chivo pussy.

And then, Isfahan, your name is Skeeterboro. Skeeterboro. You got two points there. Okay. He's probably from Peterborough. Prove to him that you don't suck. No more blowjobs until he stops acting like a shithead.

Right. Thanks for being the best. That's a healthy relationship dynamic. Wait a minute. you're a girl, you give blowjobs. Stop giving blowjobs. John Toast, you're Rosen Crystal. I am

Rosen Crystal. I tried to get my GF to play Finesty Warrior. By Nasty Warrior. By Nasty Warrior. She doesn't like it, and off to make dessert. FK, if I can play

to make her gaming with me, I would. Oh, PBF is a dick. Well, this is Alex3OMG. Oh, and if you can buy an Xbox controller for PC for like $30 on Amazon if you want to play games on your computer and practice. Games you might like.

Oh, my God. Transistor, Shelter, Ori and the Blind Forest, Payday 2, Minecraft, The Long Dark, Primal Carnage, Portal Left for Dead, The Wolf Among Us, A Story About My Uncle, Banner, Spireshock Infinite, Child of Light, Don't Star, Faster Than Life, Kentucky Route Zero, Long Live the Queen of Sudan, Rose, Psychonauts, The Stanley Parable, The Yogg, This War Mine, Viscera, Cleanup, Detail, Yearwalk. Oh my god, the Steam sale is coming to life! It's become sentient! Run for your lives! Wait, wait, hey, I literally just went through my Steam list and picked the best. If you need someone to play with, PM me.

Oh yeah! That's his game, okay. Nicely done. I will be your personal Steam curator, m'lady. I gotta say, like, I should not be focusing on it, but when you look at the games list,

it's a fucking terrible list. Like, it's completely all over the place. Not helpful as a recommendation. Yeah, a girl who's never played video games. Yeah, play Viscera Cleanup Detail, like a deep joke about shooter games that isn't really any good even. Like, not really.

Wait, sorry. It's like an extended joke. All I do is tediously mop the floor and then replace the water in the bucket? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the game. It's awesome. Okay, so you're not good at first-person shooters. I think Left 4 Dead is really what you'd like. That's a good environment for good, encouraging

team members to teach you how to play. I know you said that Portal 2 was a problem. You should probably try Portal. Okay. My name is Supreme313. Number one,

invest in a console. Sure, you might be moving in, but as a girl gamer, believe me, many games require you to have your own console for multiplayer. Destiny, GTA 5, Assassin's Creed, so you'd need that anyway. Two.

Achievement unlocked, mansplaining. Two. No, I'm a woman. Oh. Okay. It's odd that your BF talks to you that way. I'd consider that. Three. Having my own PS4, one day

I asked to bring it to my BF's apt I could play in the bedroom a while. He played in the living room. Got the headset. Had a blast. BF heard me having fun and couldn't stand being left hour. C1. Invest in a console. If you want to play with your BF,

find the console he plays the most. Edit to add, you don't need your BF to teach you games. They teach you, and you will have a blast learning! Wow, fucking Microsoft is super good at their stealth marketing.

Blast learning, trademark supreme, 313. Oh, and I get what tripped me up when she said, as a girl gamer, I thought that was a guy saying that to the original poster, like, well, as a girl gamer, you need to know you need to use controllers. Anyways. My name is Delore.

Okay. Console gamers are jerks. PC games are so much better, so you are heading the right direction. You can do better than that console guy! Wow.

Why does my flag smell like shit? I didn't think there were still unironic platform warriors out there. Oh, yeah. How Stella got her rumble pack back. Nice joke, Grandpa. Yeah, I know. Ding. My name is the tutor 123

Filthy console peasant This is Doom Blaze That was my first thought Original poster can do better than a peasant Hopefully though If he refuses to share his passion with you Then that limits your options a little too much For a healthy relationship.

The Tudor123 has like a notebook paper next to his computer that he tallies every time he delivers a burn on console users. And the thread just keeps going. Ispahan, you are... I am... Fuck, I don't know Uberoy Merdra Alright You said it yourself

I think it's Uberoy No it's It's Uberoy Merdra Oh of course Uberoy I shit You said it yourself You don't want to get your own Or learn on your own.

Why should he hand you the knowledge he has cultivated and procured himself over the years? Oh, I'm sorry. You said it yourself. You don't want to get your own or learn it on your own. Why should he hand you the knowledge he has cultivated and procured himself over the years? Oh my god, it's video game social Darwinism! Gaming wasn't always cool, and it can be vehicle for escapism. Gaming wasn't

always cool. I like the implications there. I played games before they were cool. It can get personal. You're the one that made them cool, thanks a bunch. You're welcome. And not easily shared with noobs. One does not simply walk into GameStop. You're welcome. And not easily shared with noobs. One does not simply walk into GameStop. You think...

You think all it takes to play a video game is picking up a controller? Well, no, that's an ad-lib. Not saying this is a great mindset, but I bet it's in the realm of his thinking. And those female gamer friends, do they have their own consoles and gaming passions? I would also bet they do. It may suck to hear, but sometimes teaching someone how to use Joysticks 101

is frustrating to a person who has played their whole life. Maybe when you two live together, make a concerted effort to play when he's not using the ones hooked up to the TV. You said he plays Steam and WoW, so there has to be some downtime for the consoles if you really don't want to buy your own and just use his machines. He doesn't

sound like he's handled the situation well, but I just thought I'd drop in some pro tips from a fellow gamer. Sometimes you gotta get that XP solo a while before you can multiplayer, though ideally someone would guide you a bit.

Or you could just return the game. I love that the original poster would be reading this response and be like, oh my god, I'm so wet right now. response and be like, oh my god, I'm so wet right now. You had me at gaming wasn't always cool. At the beginning of the post, he's like, no, I shouldn't help you out.

At the end of the post, he's like, ideally, someone would help you out. But not a master. Yeah. And then DominatorDutt says people calling him an asshole don't know how agonizing it is to teach a non-gamer how to

play the lots we bear sometimes and one last response here because who would have thought that the fucking video games would light up Reddit in this way? What a surprise.

Jimmy Franks, you are Sim-al-ri-al? How do you spell that? Sim-al-ri-al. Sim-al-ri-al. This is Sil- Sil- Sil- Mar- I-L. Sil- Mar- I-L.

This is Sil- Mar- I-L. You don't have to be taught. If you have a device with which you can play games, just get an account for yourself, FX on Steam, and purchase a game you think is interesting,

and learn by doing. FX on Steam to like, watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia, or? If you ask him to teach you- Well, I was going to play a video game, but Breaking Bad is on, so I don't know? If you ask him to teach you... Well, I was going to play a video game, but Breaking Bad is on, so I don't know. If you ask him to teach you, not only does he give up on playing the way he prefers,

he also has to do something no one ever did for him. It's very likely he has no idea how you teach someone to play a game. The important thing is you don't inconvenience him or disrupt his routine in any way. Sure, he can give you pointers, but after that you are supposed to play unsupervised. Detaining yourself with the game?

Only after you can do this can you bring something to the table and play with him. Won't somebody please think of the assholes? I'm a girl and have been playing online games for over 15 years. I just bought EverQuest way back in the day and tried to play it myself. No one taught me how to move around and I used

the arrow keys. It was quite a while before I realized those weren't the normal movement keys in a PC game, smiley face. Gotta have so much to learn. My point is, try to see if you enjoy gaming by allowing the games to show you whether you are

entertained on your own. I could see the general consensus is that he should be falling all over himself to accommodate you. I think that's really poor advice. Especially if you judge an otherwise good man for making little effort when you also have made very little effort. Some of the people in this thread think that boyfriends and girlfriends should hang out together.

Also, there's no middle point between him not helping you at all and him just like falling all over himself to help you. between him not helping you at all and him just, like, falling all over himself to help you. He doesn't want you on his PC, or whatever his device is, hogging it from him. Sure, that's a little annoying, but don't you have a PC? Why haven't you made your free Steam account

and purchased a $9 game from among his library to play with? That's exactly what she did. She did that. Yeah. Hope this helps you. It might not be what you want to hear or what people think should be needed. But in my experience, gaming isn't a hand-holding form of entertainment. And girls do not need to be taught.

They just need the initiative to try for themselves on their own devices, not by hogging the boyfriend's tonguey face. How do you feel about setting girl gamers back 20 years? This is the Anne Rand of video games. When you don't want to try for yourself on your own device and suggest to one of his

friends for the purpose of learning the game, you are stepping beyond what the two of you are discussing. I don't think it surprised you, really, that he reacted the way he did, although I can see it makes excellent fodder for the, he is an asshole assumption. Assumption? Assumption.

Well, I assume he's an asshole based on the things he says and does and... Yeah, I don't get why they just put a true statement in the middle of the inassumption. That's weird. Did you not hit enter at the right point? You will judge me on my gamer

score and my gamer score alone! People here will support that take on your story, original poster, but you end up losing out on an opportunity to do something on your own and bring it to the table by insisting on this need to be taught. And worst of all, you don't learn how to respect his personal space.

And you are encouraged to think it's fine to insist on intruding into it while being accommodated on all fronts. If his behavior in general suggests to you that you rank very low on his priority list, then perhaps you need to make a choice about the relationship. It doesn't make him an asshole that you are sticking around despite his apparent lack of interest. You are completely free to not put up with it. Wow, that just morphed into, like, part of the points that Post was addressing was, I think, things other people have said about this in the thread.

And then the other half is just things this person invented on their own. Hey, guess what other subreddit Silmaril likes to post in? Like taken in hand? Some sort of male lead relationship thing? Men's rights. Oh, of course. Is Solmario also a female in that?

I gotta say, if you go to the right sidebar, the whole sidebar thing they have on Reddit, there's a whole bunch of rules, and I will read one of them. No agendas. uh-huh yeah it's fine why are there any posts at all in this form yeah i haven't seen any evidence that everybody's been cool so far

okay cool uh video games on Reddit. Always goes in so many fucking directions. Okay. Okay. What? Jimmy Franks? I read ahead, that's all. Jimmy Franks, what's so funny?

I don't understand. Nothing, no. Everything's good. Go on. All right, cool. So John Toast. John Toast. Yes.

Do you want to know who I... I have one very important question I need to ask you. I think I know what you're going to ask me. Please go ahead. My question for you, John Toast, is, hey, what's your name? My name is one I will have to move the mic away from. One moment. There we go.

So, John Toast, I have a very important question for you. What's your name? My name is Lada! Lada! moving it back there we go uh i i regret to uh only uh forgot to mention this but uh before now uh but this uh r slash relationships document uh the first document that we read from Puppy Time. Thank you very much for... Yeah, it's Puppy Time.

Puppy Time. Thank you very much, Puppy Time. I love Puppy Time. From the USA. Good document submitter, good ball pit poster. And then I do enjoy that we have two different documents right now in the hopper from Linda. Oh, Linda. Thanks, Linda. Yeah, thanks for the Oh, Linda. Thanks, Linda.

Yeah, thanks for the document, Linda. Yeah, thanks. But yeah, thank you very much, PuppyTime. So I am a person I'm not going to say the name of again because I don't want to have a voice. Yep. And I am a 24-year-old female, and I have a strange concern with my boyfriend, 27 male, of two months.

I really, really like him, and he's great. But he wears kilts. How do I get over it? I think the question she should ask is, how does she get under it? Think about it. I have to think about that a long time I don't quite understand your sophisticated joke You see, here's how the kilt works Let me show you

Okay, okay Chins in my hands Okay, so like I said This is a weird thing I have Okay, this is a weird thing to have an issue with I wanted to read that Here's a weird thing I have an issue with For some reason Freudian there.

He and I are both a little weird, but that's fine. He likes cosplaying at anime conventions. He likes LARPing. We both like going to renaissance fairs in costumes. Well, now I know why he likes kilts. He wears kilts. Utility kilts

out the plaid Scottish-looking ones. Yeah, those are stupid. They make utilikilts in plaid, by the way. By the way, if you've never actually seen a photo, listener, just go ahead and Google it and search utilikilt. Because it's just a thing that you should know in your head. You should know that this exists

in the world. And that seems a little weird to me? I'd feel embarrassed walking around in public with a dude in a skirt. Should I tell him I think it's weird for me? I don't want to hurt his feelings. Or does anybody have tips on how I should just get over it and not care

what other people think of us? I shouldn't care, but I do. Tips on how to get over it? Can someone give me tips on how to bury my feelings? Tips on how to get over it. I'm pretty sure 50% of this subreddit is tips on how to

bury your feelings. My name's Shaggy 99 what up shaggy 99 hey what's up shaggy 98 how you doing hey doing good i'm shaggy 26 you guys you guys are like get out you're the one that gives us all the reputation. I got no time for Shaggy 26. Every time it's like this. You guys are having to skip. Go ahead, Shaggy 99. Don't listen to him. You guys are having to skip by the punch clock.

Morning, Shaggy 98. Morning, Shaggy 99. That was a Warner Brothers cartoon reference. Yep. Hey, do you want to see who took my lunch It wasn't me I think that's Now a reference to news radio Referencing Warner Brothers cartoons

We must go deeper Oh wait wait wait We can go deeper Wait no diggity Anyway so I'm back to being Shaggy99 now. Okay. Good. Hey, I'm not sure what to say about helping you to get over it,

but I can tell you, as a guy that's been wearing actual skirts, that's what I tell. Like, full-time for nearly a year, even at work, hardly anyone is going to make comments. The most, most that do are going to be approving. I could just be fortunate with where I live slash work, but that has been my experience. More guys should try it and get over the idea that they will be seen as weak or effeminate. Skirts work better for guys than girls, in my opinion.

So I wear skirts at work. The people at my work are like, they don't, they don't like, that's not a thing. It's not like a thing that has, like, it's not a point of friction at my workplace. And that's normal. That's my experience. Therefore, it's an experience that everyone would have. It's very clear that they don't have anything to say about it. So, yeah. I honestly think in a workplace,

I think people, even in a more closed-minded workplace, I think people would have less problem if you actually wore an actual skirt than a kilt. I mean, it's just the fact that you're wearing a kilt. I've seen them around. I mean, it's just the fact that you're wearing a kilt. Like, I've seen them around. I don't... I mean, it's fine. Like, it feels like it's a lot of...

I feel like I'm always a little confused at people making, like, fashion decisions that just take effort. Because it's like, oh, God. Like, I want to wear clothes that just doesn't have to be a thing. But, like, you know, if you want to wear a Utila kilt, that's fine. That doesn't have to be a thing. But, like, you know, if you want to wear a Utila kilt, that's fine. But I did actually go to the Utila kilt, like, factory or something that was in Seattle. And they were like, oh, let's try on our Utila kilt. And I was like, okay.

And then the thing that they talk about with the Utila kilts is that the Utila kilts have a bunch of pockets, right? Right. There's a lot of pockets, right? Right. Yeah. There's a lot of pockets on them. Sure. For your 20-sided dice. Yeah, exactly. And so the sort of like a suicide girl-looking person that was helping me was like, yeah, so they're pretty cool.

You can put your beer in this pocket, and you can put your tape measurer in this pocket, and you can put your hammer. I was like, slow the fuck down. I know what you're trying to do, but come on. People need to know what pockets do first. You can put, like, dildos that go into ladies. Cool dildos. Cool dildos. Cooldildos.com. That one holds your fingerless glove.

You can put all sorts of earlobe gauges in this pocket. Well, I think the main problem I have is that it's both – a kilt is like A, trying to make a weird statement, and B, I assume that you're not wearing underwear when you wear a kilt because why else would you wear a kilt is like, A, trying to make a weird statement, and B, I assume that you're not wearing underwear when you wear a kilt, because why else would you wear a kilt? So it's pretentious and gross at the same time. It's kind of got an affectation subtext to it, you know? Well, I mean, yes.

I mean, yes. All right. So I think we're ready to close on one last thing. And I know one person in this podcast is very good at choosing things. So I'm going to leave it up to you, Jimmy Franks. What? Why is it always me? Because you're very good at choosing things.

You're cursed with the greatest gift known to man. Predator natural ability to choose. Okay, all right, what am I up to? Let's just get it over with. I think it's never been a problem. It's never been a problem. You always trick me, Lemon. I've never tricked you, ever.

Jimmy Franks got to the end of The Last Crusade, and he was like, that one. That's the one right there. On my face. On my face. Here we go. This is a human Scantron machine. That's the one right there. On my face. On my face. Here we go. It's a human Scantron machine. Do it.

Here we go. So topic number one is called me, 26-year-old male, her, 26-year-old female, two years. She says she's losing romantic interest in me because I'm a gamer? I was going to propose. All right. All right. That one's a little too close to going to propose. All right, all right. That one's a little too close to home, but let's hear the next one. Sorry.

Sorry, I didn't want to bring up. You are so fresh and young. Ain't nobody dope as him. He's so fresh, so clean. I was a 26-year-old gamer once. Okay, so another option here is my 21-year-old male. Friends and family keep referring to my relationship with my girlfriend, 24, female, as abnormal and strange. Period.

Are they right? Oh, see, you can't dangle that carrot. Okay. Wait, I do have one more. Oh, that's a triple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got three choices. All right.

And your final choice is me, 34-year-old female, with my husband, 35-year-old male, five years, and I've never done something so deliberately childish as what I did tonight. God damn you. That's a dead fucking clickbait title. You won't believe what she does next. By she, I mean me. Writers and men's hate what happened next.

I'm going to go with number two. I'm going to go with number two. Number two, my 21-year-old male friends slash fam... Oh my god, there's so many words. Jimmy Franks would have picked the first one, but he didn't want to get choked up while recording. Yeah. No, of course, of course.

Alright, so... We're off to a good start. Okay. You okay, Lemon? What's going on over there? I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you that your name is We Aren't Freaks. Guys, we really aren't. Ubegaba,

Ubegaba, one of them. Yeah. Hi, my name's We Aren't Freaks. My relationship is often called too passionate. We've been together for three years, and I love her so freaking much.

Oh, jeez. Let me start off by saying we're both gamers and spend a lot of time just gaming together. Yay! Hi, Reddit! Now I'm guaranteed a lot of responses. And we both share a mutual love of medieval, a fantasy, and most RPGs Just the one fantasy?

Medieval, a fantasy, and most RPGs It's like Pile of Mode Medieval, a fantasy Medieval, a fantasy I love to RP with her ever since she introduced me to it when we met The things my family finds strange are as follows. Okay. My girlfriend and I also share a love of Lord of the Rings and World of Warcraft.

We often cosplay together at home for fun and then take a ton of pictures at the park. That's not home, but okay. We game basically all day unless we're doing chores or hanging out with friends. We live together, so obviously housework comes first. Obviously, yep. We've taken tours in a medieval castle in a city not far from ours. We absolutely love it. We both find it very interesting and often wonder what it would have been like to live in an ideal medieval fantasy world.

Why does he keep doing that? Her hair is often dyed different colors, but I don't think this means anything. I thought I would include that. You brought your own slide deck to this presentation. I'm very professional of you. Also, Isfahan, why did you make that noise every time you got an erection? Keeping score. Oh, okay.

Now, this girl is extraordinary. My family and friends like her a lot, but seem to find her a bit odd. She's basically an in-real-life elf. Nope. Freaking odd. She's basically an in-real-life elf. Nope. Freaking awesome. She is not that.

Not even basically. She's one of these mysterious women you see in stories and old fantasy novels like Fae and Drow that you just wish you could meet. I love her so much. I'm just sick of my family thinking we're weird together.

She has normal friends, as do I. Wears normal clothes on a daily basis. Has normal makeup on. Is cute and funny and genuinely a nice person to literally everyone. It's not like she goes around parading. She's a wow addict. I'm looking for group. Anybody? addict. I'm looking for group. Anybody?

Anybody? I'm looking for group. Come on, man. Just one purple. Just one. Come on. Come on. I need heels.

I need heels bad. That's only a small but very significant part of her. She only lets certain people see. Around me, it becomes the biggest part of her, though. What to do? Also, does it seem weird or not? around me. It becomes the biggest part of it, though. What to do? Also, does it seem weird or not? Hmm.

Oh, I'll be the Frank West for this. Thank you. You're welcome. Frank West just got a check for 25 cents in the mail. Oh, there it is. Oh, great. It just makes me long for the real thing the mail. Oh, there it is. Oh, great.

It just makes me long for the real thing, though. Sorry. And there is an answer here. There is an answer here from SpikeRoseRed. That's you, Isfahan. Meh. That's just how normies react to that sort of stuff. My wife and I cosplay for an anime convention every year.

My family thinks we are so crazy. No, they don't. The fact that we play video games together instead of watching television like normal people makes it so weird in their eyes. They'll never understand. Just have to learn to live with it. And then, Boots, your account has been deleted, but you did have something very important to share. I'll save

you the trouble. From the moment you were born until you die at 40 years ago, you're hungry and afraid. Thanks. I have new troubles now. Afraid of the nobles who rule your life with whim. Afraid of banditry. Afraid of anyone whobles who rule your life with whim afraid of banditry afraid of anyone who comes up

to your farm that's not your neighbor your wife although only 30 looks more like 60 due to the back-breaking manual labor she's lost three out of five children in their infancy she has both sever ptsd and depression but there's no such thing as a psychologist, so you're going to have to live with that forever. Oh, they live in Texas. One year, the harvest is especially bad. You've sent your oldest daughter to nearest city for servant's work. You basically never see her

again, save every few years when she has a day off. That's how 99% of the medieval age lived. Hell yeah, truth bringer! I wrote this fanfic about you to prove a point. Bye, I guess.

What the fuck? I bet this guy just, like, goes everywhere with that shit. Hey, it wasn't actually that great to live in medieval times. Also, dragons aren't real! Join my SCA club. We're really fun.

Is this guy just a freelance DM? He just pops in and is like, here's the story I've made for you. No, this is like the Cliff Notes version of one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. So, F+, what did we learn from any of this? People should just fucking break up with people. Break the hell up.

Just go. When in doubt, dump them. Yeah. Eject. Not bad, I in doubt, dump them. Yeah. Eject. Not bad, I mean. Pull the ripcord. Like, I know it's the cliche. Well, this sucks.

Like, I know it's the cliche of just, like, you know, like, the, like, in a, like, romance where you're one of the few, it's just like, why don't you just get rid of him? But it's like, it's still good advice. Like, just be that person. It really is. Why are you going to a place that is guaranteed to give you unhelpful advice? Why would you find solace in Reddit? This is like the forum version of a trash talk show audience.

It's like, girl, you need to dump his ass and just that over and over again or yeah i think you got it wrong i think blah blah blah yo i just want to say you better step up your call of duty game and that's for real yeah yeah exactly you know i got a cut on my finger i think i'm gonna put it in the trash compactor in my uh in my sink yeah Yeah. You should use GE brand trash compactors. They're the best. I think you should give up on your fingers altogether and use our feet. Then everybody else

claps. Yeah, just never a production. I mean, because it's not built for having a productive conversation. No. I mean, the best I could think is that, I mean, if any of these were fabricated, which I can believe they're real, because

look at all the people we've read over the years, but if they were fabricated, like, it's like, okay, so maybe they were fabricated to, like, troll, because it's like, oh, like, here's, get you guys riled up about video games, but you don't, but I don't think that's it, because you don't really need to troll Reddit to do that.

That's their, like, resting state. Like, they're always saying the stuff there. I don't know. I don't know. Resting video game pace. I came in here with... I came in here with both my axe and my grind wheel. Yeah.

What should I do with them? I'm sorry, what do you have to say about this? So on almost all of these, I was curious to see if there was any follow-up. No. Almost all of these, it was just like a user account created just to ask this question and never posted again.

So just sort of left with a... They must have broke up, right? Everyone, they must have broke up, right? Everyone. They must have broke up. The website is always thefpl.us. And if you're looking for hot, sexy singles, you should go to Ball Pits is our forum. You can sign up for an account and then look at the forum. And then you can pay $10 and then you can post on the forum and that will be great for, I think,

all parties involved, I think. So are they like craft singles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're hot, horny craft singles. I was also looking at my analytics data and I was noticing not a whole lot of popularity for jerking.online.

So, you know, I mean, if you're looking for the hottest parody porn titles of the day, let's see. Today we have Enemy of the Prostate. That's at number two. Face forward slash fuck. That's at number three. I like Pearl Necklace Harbor I really really like Lube 2 Hyper Lube

Lube squared right Yeah yeah Lube squared Hyper Lube And Scott Pilgrim Versus those girls My entry's at the top Yay Burn after P is pretty good Alright talk to you later bye bye versus those girls. My entry's at the top. Burn after King's pretty good.

Alright, talk to you later. Bye-bye! Bye! Outro Music A sidebar about Utila Kilts. Ex-coworker of mine, his brother-in-law co-founded that company. And so he started wearing Utila Kilts to work. And didn't really get fired for that. But it didn't help. But it didn't help. And, of course, he decided to burn bridges by photocopying pictures of his ass while wearing his utility kilt. Well, that was just darn convenient, though.

It was. It made it a lot easier to access his butt. Step one, utility kilt. Step two. Yeah. True story. All right. As you were.