The F Plus - 249: Ridiculist Passions

Episode Date: May 8, 2017

The Passions Network presents a unique value proposition: What if, instead of making one dating website, we create literally hundreds of unique (in name, but largely identical) websites, in the hopes of luring in customers with a whole bunch of super-specific niches? What would happen if we did that? The answer, it turns out, is an F Plus episode. This week, try to find who loves to suck guys. Yam!

Okay, yeah, but I found a website called I Like to be Spocked. What? What? Bring on the Spock... Spocked? Bring on the Spockin'. I am a bad girl who enjoys a good old Spockin'. Is that what I think it...

Is that like a shocker but a Spocker? Oh. Oh. One night to be confused One night to speak of truth Hello lovers out there in lover land. This is the F plus podcast, a very sexy place where there's terrible things right with enthusiasm in the room tonight. We have Frank West and in case it isn't completely clear,

do not take legal advice from anyone on this site for any reason. Achilles Heelies! Why, you know, let me post memes on meme passions. John Soos.

As I always say, Mother Earth can't continue to support a concrete world. Kumquats up! Hey, I like chocolate! Nut shell gulag! I would bust for a chicken tendie. And lemon.

I don't believe in premarital sex. I'm looking for intelligent women. No bimbos. I also have a 142 IQ, just so you know. Hey, F Plus. Hello. Hey, Lemon. Hey, folks, do you consider yourselves kind of odd or weird?

No. Who have you been talking to? Well, I mean, I'm not at liberty to discuss. It's the whole thing of patient-client confidentiality that has been breached. I can't continue that cycle. I need a new therapist again. What happened to the last one, Frank West? I mean,

I'm just saying, don't go digging along I-45. Certain stretch I should avoid. Pretty much the whole thing. I've had a lot of therapy. Wow. Oh my god. I remember seeing that movie about you. That was cool. Yeah. So I have not one, but in fact, many, many, many sites to introduce you to today.

And this is very exciting. I've actually been kind of excited about this topic for a while. So the document we're looking at today uh was provided to us by kanye sutra a name that i still enjoy um and the document is uh about hyper specific dating networks are are any of you familiar with the passions network i have heard of it yes okay uh yeah so the the passions network uh describes itself in many, many ways. But it is essentially a site that says, you know, we're not going to go the match.com approach, you know, where we put all of our people into a big pool and like, you know, try to like specify their interests. Instead, what we're going to do is we're going to make literally hundreds of websites divided into asinine niches, and then presumably people will find love from there. Oh, good.

That sounds great. So it's pretty exciting. It's been around since 2004 and still going strong in 2017. So I think we're going to have fun. So I think we should start off with something called Redneck Passions. Redneck Passions describes itself as 100% free dating, comma, social networking and chat for rednecks and redneck lovers. Yee-haw. Well, that's authentic.

They talk like I do. So, yeah. So throughout this document, what we're going to be doing is we're basically just going to be reading some descriptions of the websites themselves as well as the people on these networks and their dating profiles. I'm just going to tell you a little bit about Redneck Passions. You might be a redneck if you join this site. No.

Here's a broken image carousel. 100% free dating and social network for rednecks and redneck lovers. Worried that the world will run out of rednecks. Worried isn't the word i'd use it keeps me up at night i tell you man i remember watching the election results and i was like where are all the rednecks at is is worrying and longing for the same thing like i don't know well worry no more we aim to increase redneck baby making as fast as possible oh god and wait we okay so we aim to increase redneck baby making as fast as possible exclamation point next sentence enough with stereotypes well um it's nice to see one place that isn't perpetuating redneck stereotypes what's wrong with being the

salt of the earth what's wrong with being the heart of middle america and or the south what a sentence literally being the heart of middle america like i am a large landmass this site is certainly certainly not taking advantage of you. It's definitely created up your ilk. If you are a proud redneck, then this is the place for you. Browse the redneck groups to find others who share your passions. Everything is free. So sign up to enjoy personals, free capital redneck chat, message boards, and email. Email? chat message boards and email email i just look at that free redneck chat and that's like the

kind of pop-up that would happen on a site and i'd be like what what does adsense think why did i get that what did i bring free redneck chat i'm like wait i'm just i'm not even annoyed i'm just like i'm what the fuck uh okay so uh we're to start off here with... What's your name? Sinnerman USA, and that's you, Achilles Heeles. All right. So what redneck city are you from? Oh, Chicago, Illinois.

Gotcha. Good. Where all the rednecks are at. You joke, but there are sections of Chicago that are not. I'm just saying. I mean, Indiana and Michigan are right there. I'm just saying. And then under those pictures is your full profile.

If you will just read your full profile here for me. Redneck girls are fun. Okay, thanks, Center Man. You're welcome. Redneck girls are fun in my truck while I'm drinking beer. What's your personality? I'm a coffeeholic, like all us rednecks. I'm a flirt.

I'm a geek. I'm an introvert. And I'm a professional. I think this is just a guy who has a thing for girls and Daisy Dukes. I don't know. No, this is a dyed-in-the-wool redneck. What's your favorite foods? Fine dining.

Okay. I mean Taco Bell. Mexican. Raw food. Yeah, there you go. What? Raw food. Soul food.

Spicy. Sushi. And time. food. Soul food. Spicy. Sushi. And Thai. The redneckiest of foods. Yeah. Hey, what's your favorite movies? Action, drama, horror, murder mysteries, nothing but porn. And sci-fi. Porn, horror And sci-fi.

Porn, horror, sci-fi movies. Kind of buried the lead there. All of those genres are porn genres. My favorite is murder mystery porn. And then, do you have any hobbies and interests at all? Well, computers. The internet, movies, music, nature, nudism, pole dancing, reading. What's your relationship? Oh, I'm married.

Okay. Great. Wonderful. But redneck girls are fun. Ladies. Hey, what redneck sports and fitness do you like? Hmm. I like jogging and soccer. Yep.

U.S. So I have bad taste on top of not liking redneck sports. All right. Let's get a lady in here. So, Nutshell Gulag. Yes. Your name is MetalChick32. Oh, good. Wow.

Wow, she is pretty metal looking. Guys, can we talk about the Sidelinks for a second? Specifically, the Redneck Bank? Sure. Tell me about the Redneck Bank, Frank West. All about us. Yep. We're a real bank.

Oh, that's not a warning sign right off the bat. Hello, comrades. We are real. Redneck band. Their main page has a picture of a horse that periodically squints its eyes and gives you fun colloquisms. It might be hard to believe it, but we're real. Are you okay there?

No. I'm good. Just breathe. Breathe! Oh, Jesus. We're a real bona fide upstanding financial institution. Uh-huh. Alright, so MetalChick32, if you'll tell me a little bit about yourself, please. Y'all, my gender is woman.

My orientation is lesbian. My location is Louisville, Kentucky. My height is 5'1". Weight, 110 pounds. Age, 21 years old. And my personal summary is redneck girlfriend. I am a redneck. Okay, wow.

Keyword stuffing has worked out terrifically for you. Me Jane, you Jane. I'm looking for Dayton and Miss Wright Okay No drugs Agnostic My individuality is tattoos

What the hell is What is individuality even? Here, your individuality is tattoos Yeah You explained it right there Only person with tattoos So you're an agnostic lesbian in Louisville Good luck.

Jesus. My personality is fun-loving, geek, nerd, redneck, romantic. Food-related is eat out frequently, if you know what I mean. Am I right? Oh. Woo!

My sign is Aquarius My language is Spanish Not English though I can't believe John Toast didn't like eat out frequently What? That pun is beneath you? They gotta Yeah

I'm fickle I can't explain it Okay My health relatedrelated is diabetic. Fitness and sports is football. Hairstyle, curly ponytail. Gender, female. Pets, cats.

What's your orientation? Bisexual. Oh, that's interesting. Oh, okay. After halfway through filling out this profile, you changed it. Sexuality. Oh, you know. Okay.

filling out this profile you changed sexuality. Well, you know. Okay. Movies, comedy, horror, romance, romantic comedy, sci-fi, body type skinny, relationships, seeing somebody. Can you tell me a little about your profession? Agriculture,

farming, artistic slash musical. So you live in the musical Oklahoma. I like to sing to my cows. So it's worth mentioning at this point that on any of these profiles, you don't sign up for just a single set. You can sign up for as many passions as you

like. I have many passions. So Metal Chick here is also a member of Farming Passions, Kentucky Passions, and Bisexual Passions. Will you tell me about

your Bisexual Passions profile? It's right there. I am looking for a girlfriend. I'm 19 years old. I lied about my age. I have a boyfriend, but I'm looking for a girlfriend. I love music, heavy metal, rock, etc. I treat women the way they need to be treated.

I'm a hopeless romantic, and I'm a good person to be around, especially during comforting. I want to be a diesel mechanic. Okay, okay, cool. Come Quatsop. Yes? Your name is I Love to Suck Guys I Love to Suck Guys Please don't dox him Lemon

Tell me a little bit about yourself I Love to Suck Guys Hello I'm I Love to Suck Guys That's me I Love love to suck guys. I'm a man. Did you know that I love to suck guys? I'm gay. Stop saying it.

I can't take it. It might come up at some point. How old are you, by the way? I love to suck guys is 62 years old. And where are you located? I love to Suck Guys is in rural area Tennessee. Oh my god.

I Love to Suck Guys, you're my favorite Pokemon. Godspeed, you sweet old cocksucker. Good luck. And yeah, tell me about yourself please. Yeah, I'm I Love to Suck Guys. I don't put names on guys.

I don't do that. I couldn't say anything about others. I only talk about myself. I love to suck guys. I don't say anything about others because I don't like putting names on people. Redneck or not, I just like servicing cut guys with no reciprocation.

Okay, so you're a member of many other passions, including shy passions. What is your profile on shy passions? I love to suck guys is shy, but love guys. I'm a kind of shy to start with, but quickly warm up. Yes, hello? When you say you like cut guys, does that mean you like guys that are muscular or you like guys that are circumcised?

I love to suck guys ambivalent and can service both. Okay. Go on, play with your shy passion. I love to suck guys quickly warms up to servicing a guy to completion with no reciprocation. You're also on candy passions and nerds passions. What is your profile there?

Nerds the candy? I think so. Yes, nerds passions. Otherwise it would be nerd passions. Right, correct. I love to suck guys says nerds' passions. Good. Because otherwise it would be nerd passions. Right, correct. I Love to Suck Guys says, The so-called nerd guys love servicing the so-called nerd guys to completion with no reciprocation.

They are really smart people who also has needs. I get the feeling I Love to Suck Guys loves to suck guys. With no reciprocation. I don't know where you're getting that from. Well, your reciprocation is that you get to suck guys. Yeah. I seem to enjoy it. All right.

So that was a little bit of the redneck passions. We're now moving on to vampire passions. I love to suck guys! He's back. That's definitely true. Achilles, tell us a little bit about vampire passions, please. Yes. Hello. Bite me.

Gotcha. I get it. Do you? A hundred percent free Gotcha. I get it. Do you? A hundred percent... A hundred percent free online dating and social networking site for vampires and vampire lovers. Browse the vampire groups to find members based on whether they're into sanguine vampirism or psychic vampirism. Ooh. Ooh. Wow, that should be

two separate passions. Oh, that sounds like a revenue stream. Meet other vampires, vampire lovers, and even amateur vampire hunters. Wait, you're allowing vampire hunters?

As long as they love to suck guys. I love to steak guys, apparently. Enjoy a single location where fans of vampire-related books, movies, and television shows can all find one another.

And for vampire members, we even have a way to find others who enjoy the same blood type you do. Oh, terrific. Type A, type B, type O, and even bovine, for moral reasons. Uh-huh.

So, yeah, if you're doing the whole thing where you equate blood drinking with sex in the vampire world, wouldn't that mean that anybody that drank cow blood was committing bestiality? No, I'm an asexual vampire. Okay. Now you need to join two groups. Yeah, you're right.

Sign up now to enjoy free vampire chats, vampire message boards, and email. Please note that while members of the undead might not need to worry about blood-borne diseases, humans do. Vampire passions want to make it perfectly clear that we do not condone the drinking of blood-borne human bones. As blood-interested, we believe that vampires should only drink animal blood, preferably without killing animals or blood substitutes. Eons of past and vampires came to be, and it is our belief that vampires must change with time to survive so use the group area to find people you like but do not feed on them or your account will be deleted uh-huh this is this is next this is next to an image carousel of like dozens of pictures of people biting each other yeah i wanted to i wanted to talk about that because it's like all these like guy with teeth out like guy like people like showing their vampire teeth uh and then like somebody eating an olive out of a martini like

all right with vampire i will suck the pimento out of you i've i want this dirty all over their face uh all right uh so john toast your name is i will vamp i will i will bandit hi there i'm the owl bandit i'm a bisexual man in sandown united kingdom this is my british voice it sure is it's my best british accent so far agreed i'm a bi biker on the isle of wight waiting to be turned i'm a 50 year old gay male biker on the isle of Wight waiting to be turned. I'm a 50-year-old gay male biker on the Isle of Wight. I'm 5'7", about 700 pounds-ish, a bit chubby, but working on it. I have hazel eyes and crop hair. Sexually, I'm open to anything, and I really love to expect fuckment with singles, couples, groups,

and have very few limitations, but I'm not into pain, breath control, puke, verbal, etc. But preference, I'm sub, but not to the level of being someone's fuck. I'm into lingerie, rubber, latex light bondage, hypnosis, and sane play. What? Sexually, I'm open to anything, except for this whole bunch of stuff. Is sane play where you're mentally ill but pretend to not be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Joker's kink.

Hey there, functional boy. Why don't you come over here and have normal, healthy sex? What's the fourth picture of things that you like after the horrifying pictures? It's a motorcycle.

It's a Suzuki Band-Aid. I love me being tied up and beaten, me being tied up and beaten, me being tied up and beaten. Suzuki. Do you guys want to know about my individuality? Sure, absolutely. I'm a vampire

and a nudist. Yay! Yay! Frank West, your name is Vanilla Redskin. Tell me a little bit about you, Washington football fan. I'm Vanilla Redskin. I live on the Gold Coast of Australia. I'm 33 years old.

I'll fuck you dry, I'm Australian. Oh, no. I believe you. And my family background is Welsh and Native American of the Sioux tribe. I consider myself to be a balanced person between spiritual and realist. I am not domineering, controlling, or oppressive, but I am strong, calmly assertive, and very patient. Calmly? Not domineering.

I'm calmly assertive. I'm not domineering, I just opened with, I'll fuck you dry. If you haven't already given up looking on If you haven't already given up on looking for someone with qualities such as good old-fashioned values, cares about other people's feelings, well-mannered, respectful and charming, full of kindness, empathetical, unrespected, polite, open, honest, loyal, sensual, honest, confident, sweet, intelligent, dynamic, fun and funny, and will genuinely listen to you, then you're... You're having fun just jumping on both sides of that line, aren't you?

No! Somebody should have told this guy it wasn't paid by the word. Jesus. By the way, I'm a nice guy. Oh, and there's the flag. I have two tattoos. I designed them myself. I love to cook and to entertain. This is my tattoo. I designed them myself. I love to cook and to entertain.

This is my tattoo. I designed it myself. I'm very giving and caring, and I'm no selfish lover. I also love being in conversations for hours, but I must warn you, I can be very flirtatious. Oh, God. Warning, klaxons! Very flirtatious! Well, the warning klaxons were, likeatious. The morning klaxons were like, started a few paragraphs back. It's really strange.

Wherever I go, there's just these loud alarms behind me. Watch out for the creep. Watch out for the creep. As you can see, I have a flair for the theatrics, but I'm over the clubbing scene. But I still like to go out and have fun with some other wacky, perverted, fun, funny friends of mine. I am protective of those

that I care about, but not to the point of being too overly protective. But fuck everyone else! You know, screw them! I'm looking for someone I can share good chemistry and a loving relationship with, and for the record, I also like to give a lot of cuddles and cute little kisses for no apparent reason.

Oh, Zany. Are they Zany kisses? I'm certainly not afraid of hard work or getting my hands dirty. I want to become a masseuse, but right now I'm working a full-time job right now that I really hate so that I can save up enough money to get a diploma of remedial massage and after that, maybe I'll become a fully qualified Reiki master as well, but it will be worth it in the end.

And after that, I will start my own massage therapy business and become even more of a strong, independent, professional man who chooses his own hours to work. So if you like what you see, then by all means contact me, as I promise I'm worth.

You know, when you read the part about Reiki, Boots just perked up. He's like, I'm really annoyed for some reason. I don't know why. Hey, Vanilla Redskin, I have a couple questions about you. What are your religious

views? My religious views my religious views not religious but spiritual pagan what's your political views come on libertarian conservative cool and then oh where was it oh yes

do you drink only blood socially I'm just a social blood drinker you know I don't do it at home Where was it? Oh, yes. Do you drink? Only blood, socially. I'm just a social blood drinker, you know? I don't do it at home. And do you have kids? No. Definitely want them, though. Oh, God. What about your individuality, though?

What is my individuality? Oh, it's up here. Cougar lover. Ninja. Psychic. Tattoos. Vampire. Werewolf. Well, now after you said you're a werewolf, I hope you're into werewolves. I hope the cougar is actually just like old lady

sluts. No. I don't know. No, I love live cougars. Oh, God. Okay. Once again, the document put togetherars. Oh, God. Okay. Boy, there's so... Okay, once again, the document was put together by Achilles Healy... Sorry. No. The document was put

together by Kanye Sutra. And there's a bunch of these. So we've got some work to do. It's also worth noting, again, I think the sidebar to every single one of these has at least two other sites that could be featured on our podcast. Oh, yeah.

No, 100%. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then also all of them feature The Onion. Every sidebar is The Onion. Good. Good.

Okay, so we're going to move on to meme passions. 100% free social network for internet meme lovers Dating chat regarding internet memes So yeah All your baser belong to us Star Wars kid Chocolate rain A free online dating And social network community site

For singles who get a kick out of internet memes Browse the internet meme groups To find others who enjoy the same memes you do. Whether it be All Your Base, Dramatic Prairie Dog, Leave Britney Alone. Come on, you fucking people love it when I list these fucking things, don't you? Numa Numa. All right. All right.

I'm going to grab a teacup. I'm going to see if I can force myself into the sunken place. I'm going to get out of here. God damn it. I haven't seen that movie yet. You shut your mouth. It's about memes. It's fine. Sorry. Yeah, it's all about memes. Discover new memes

you never knew about. Revel in the humor of the absurd that often makes sites, videos, or people the focus of cult-like attention. Sign up and enjoy a centralized location where you can meet other internet meme lovers, be a meme-centric personals, meme chat, message boards, and email features. Please note that the internet meme-related images on this site are meant solely to represent popular internet memes. that the internet meme-related images on this site are meant solely to represent popular internet memes. Passions Network Incorporated would like to make it clear that all copyrights and trademarks

are owned by their respective owners and or companies. So, look, look, we're not respecting anyone's copyright, but we're respecting people's copyright. That's important to note. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we only have time for one person on the Meme Passions Network. Oh, what a shame. Yeah, I know, I agree.

She's from Pensacola, Florida, and in a nutshell, her name is Goddess Paz? Goddess Paz. She's like the goddess of Easter egg dye, I think. Or spas. Okay, okay. I don't... Alright, um, yeah. I'm Goddess Boss.

I'm from Pensacola, Florida. I'm 67 years old. And goddess enjoys expression of meme, yes. I'm passionate about memes and self-expression. I just love this creative form shirt, sweet and richly to the point. What? What did I just? Absolutely.

Okay. Well, so goddess pos, you're also a member of baby boomer passions. Isn't that right? Yeah. Yep. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Goddess is a baby boomer, 1949. Well, yes, I came on the cuff of mankind

expansion for all the right reasons. Well, let's face the fact that we were born at the end of wars. What other choices did they have but to kiss and make up? I'm the result of some of that kissing and making out. I'm joyful to be here and add my own brand of kissing and making out. Keeping it strong and long. Wow!

You're also a member of cougar passions, if you'll tell me a little bit about that. All right. long. Wow! You're also a member of cougar passions, if you'll tell me a little bit about that. Alright. God is seeking her youthful love slut. Yay! Age is not an issue for me. Intelligence is what I seek from people

and that intelligence can come from younger people. There are many aged persons that have failed to embrace their maturity and share it with the wisdom I have to offer. I appreciate the youthful man that is open-minded to appreciate me in all the glory and splendor I have to offer. My favorite food is word salad. Yeah, clearly. A little bit of crazy dressing on top.

And you're also a member of frugal passions. Goddess has the best money-making tip. I'm an internet marketeer. Oh, wow. You're an internet. I am. Marketeer and have made millions with many of my networks. I would like to share and help those that would appreciate my wisdom to acquire their next million.

Yes, I know all the shortcuts and have maps to prove them. Maps of the internet? Yes. I call them site maps. Don't go searching for the treasure in those maps. You will not like what you find. Oh my god. There's so many of these.

Okay, so we're going to move on to celibate passions. What? 100% free dating and social network for celibate passions. What? 100% free dating and social network for celibate singles. What? A 100% free online dating and social network specifically for celibate singles and asexual singles looking for platonic relationships.

If you are looking for companionship and friendship on a platonic level, this site is for you. So, Ecclesiastes, you are hot cross bunny. All the people on, you are Hot Cross Bunny. All the people on the recent thing have hidden photos. Every single one of them.

Yeah, it said, like, secret photo, click here. So I thought I'd click one of them to see if it showed up. Nope, it doesn't. It's like, alright. So, Achilles, your name is Hot Cross Bunny. Tell me about yourself, please. Hello. I'm Hot Cross Bunny. Tell me about yourself, please. Hello.

I'm Hot Cross Bunny from Leicester, United Kingdom. Yes, you are. Oh, you're British like me. You've found a fellow countryman. Hip, hip. I am a... You know you can drop the accent. No, no, no. I am a lonely vegan male

seeking a vegan aspiring vegan female. 20 to 50. 20 to 50. Okay, cool. I think the word here is standards. You took the words out of my mouth, good sir. I'm seeking a vegan, or not. Do you have a pussy?

I am a vegan for animal welfare reasons. Oh wow, I'm a vampire again. And abhor cruelty to animals. I am crazy about pop music from past to present and would like someone who shares that passion. I also like

cycling, photography, collecting and sports. My who shares that passion. I also like cycling, photography, collecting, and sports. My favorite animals are rabbits. I would like to find a female who, like myself, is practicing virginity until marriage, and will be strictly monogamous. But as looking forward to the physical side, I have some personal problems. Oh, you don't say!

Oh, my! Wow! I have some personal problems. Oh, you don't say. Oh, my. Wow. So I need somebody understanding with low expectations. You know what, Hot Cross Bunny? I like you. We usually have to go like five paragraphs into the Jensen fucking Jared thing to find this out. And you're just up front like, I got problems and I need somebody to deal with them. I see the tablecloth.

I put all my cards on top of it. Come close up. Do you have any? I'm J5. Hi, J. I'm a man. I'm from Achille, Oklahoma. Hi, J. I'm a man. I'm from Achille, Oklahoma.

And I'm 66 years old. Don't believe sex makes love. Please stick to the handjobs and rivers like you used to. So they should fuck a river?

Like what? jobs and rivers like he used to. So they should fuck a river? Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. Educated. Own residence. Self-employed. I am

interested in lots of things. From classical to rock music. Nature walks. Kinky stuff. Museums. Books. You name it. I am single. museums, books, you name it.

I am single. You don't say. And I believe that a relationship without fuck is exactly how it should be. Clearly. I have never been into intercourse and feel it is never worth the bother!

Oh dear! This is all beneath me. I feel like an alien on another planet for my sexuality, but I yam. What? I yam. Boy, oh my god.

You probably have a really impressive collection of novelty t-shirts with Looney Tunes on them. Yeah! It's Hanna-Barbera, actually. I was saying unrelated to that. Well, I'm not into fucking, but I really like Hanna-Barbera. If you... Portek's going to be mad at you. I dare.

If you are of a Similar mind let's Talk If you agree with any of this Let me know I am so glad That there is recognition That not

Everybody needs Or enjoys sex I'm assuming people say that To you a lot That not everybody needs or enjoys sex. I'm assuming people say that to you a lot. You know what? I'm good. I'm fine. Yam. I don't care why you are anti-sexual, asexual, indifferent to sexual

or just thrusting it with every thrust like oh it feels so I could take it or leave it I don't really care that was that was I could take it or leave it. I don't really care. That was... That was...

I don't know what that was. Yeah, you're fine with that big cock, aren't you? Are you done yet? It makes me so lukewarm. This is an acceptable circumstance that is neither good nor bad, isn't it? Yeah. Let us be friends.

And hope for more. What the fuck is more? What would I possibly mean by that? I am a curious person. Enjoying new things. Well, that's true. Not in the way you meant, but... I don't smoke,

drink, or do drugs. Well, what do you do? Thank you, Adamant. You're welcome. Hey! Hey! I try to stay fit! Well, that's...

That's what I do. I, yes, yes, I would love to be married. I never hear from anybody in this site the 100% free dating and social networking for celibate singles. I never hear from anybody in this site. Ah, take a chance and drop me a note!

Yam! Uh... I need to know a little bit more about you. Yes! Yeah, so are you into drugs? What? Are you a narc? No, because that's not how you spell that word.

Yeah, it's not like a narcotics officer. It's like a gremlin from, I don't know, from D&D or something. You come upon the cave, a narc is sitting there. He asks you a riddle. What are your religious views? Agnostic, not religious. Okay, and your political views? Green party libertarian! I'm agnostic, not religious. Okay. And your political views?

Green Party Libertarian! No way. Oh, God. I mean, Libertarian! Oh, good enough. The Green Party Libertarian makes me giggle. He must be very popular at both meetings. He can annoy both sides of the aisle.

All right, time for us to move on to mullet passions. Wow. So, 100% free dating and social networking for singles sporting a mullet yeah that's right business up front and a party in the back 100% free social network and online dating site specifically for singles with

a mullet and for those with a taste for those with the taste and style to appreciate these unique trendsetters browse the mullet groups, blah blah blah blah blah. Oh! No, not blah blah blah. What is that? You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Browse the mullet groups

to find members based on their style of mullet, classic, mudflap, or spiky. I didn't know there were permutations. Oh yes. What? Like, is there a taxonomy of mullets? Or find members who enjoy recreational activities like wrestling,

country music, or monster trucks. Now, what makes you think people on Mullet Passions would be into those things, too? We don't like the stereotype here. Hey, hey, Lemon, would you give me a brief overview of

the selections in the Mullet Passions video game groups? Oh, yeah, of course, of course. So there is the carousel of the Mullets, as you would imagine, some advertising links. Then it says Mullet Passions book groups, which, of course, is blank. Okay, that's pretty good. which of course is blank. Okay, that's pretty good. Then, uh,

Mullet Passions video game groups, uh, including, uh, three separate Final Fantasies. Uh, Shadowrun, Earthbound, and Smackdown vs. Raw 2008, specifically. To be fair, I bet those all have Mullets in them. Well, there's probably a bunch of them, yeah.

I mean, Undertaker's sporting a mullet right there. Okay, so we need to find out about somebody from the Mullet Passions, and his name is TheWildCard55. John Sost, if you'll take that, please. Are you asking about The Wild Card? I absolutely am asking about The Wild Card. I'm a straight man from San Diego. Yeah.

Okay. I'm 29 years old. Height 6.2. Weight 190 pounds. Who wants to cut my hair into an awesome mullet? So you're more curious then, I guess.

I'm on the site and I don't even have a mullet. I'm wild. Wacky. See, I am seriously considering growing a mullet and need someone to encourage and or talk me into it. Wild. I don't have that hairstyle. Goodbye.

I am a very fun, fairly outgoing, and pretty open-minded guy. Also, I am in considerable shape as I am heading into the Navy SEAL soon. Okay. Okay. With that said, I am only looking for friends or something short-term. If you are interested, feel free to send me a message. Cool. You want to know my religion?

Yeah. I'm Christian. You want to know my individuality? Absolutely. I'm a cougar lover. Can you tell me your top three sports? Oh, my sports? My top three sports are Oh, my sports? My top three sports are bowling,

football, international, and football U.S. Yay! You're a man of the world. What are you socially? What are you socially? Oh, socially. Oh, socially, I am comic relief flirt shy at first but

warm up quickly and a social butterfly oh dear all right so uh moving on in the uh mullet passions Salt Love. Salt Love. Uh, oh my god. Ah! This is great. Okay. Okay. Uh, Nutshell's afraid of this one. I don't think Nutshell wants to do this one. Alright, Achilles, I'll tag the team this with you.

Alright. Uh, so, uh, switch off on every period. Uh, so, uh, yeah, tell me about yourself, Salt Love. Well, hi. I'm a long-haired, loving, caring couple looking to love. We are a couple looking for friends or friends to become a potential equal life partner or partners. We are fun-loving, respectful, caring, sensual, and sexual. We love to cuddle and relax in each other's arms.

We like to see that each other's needs and wants are met. Love, respect, honesty, care, and friendship are foundations of our relationship. We are looking for a woman or women to add as members of our family. In a polyfidelity I was not ready for that word. That's totally a word. Polyfidelity is a relationship with no games, no favorites,

no rule, no roles, just love, respect, and equality. Okay, honey, calm down. I'm just excited about this. I'm so glad that you allowed me to make this pro-felva as my birthday present. I know, I know, I know. Look, if you have questions,

feel free to ask. We are open-minded, kind of shy, love kids and animals. We like reading, writing, politics, being outdoors. She is voluptuous. A tender, loving lesbian who became disgusted with man's disrespect for the fairer gender

and had given up on men until she met a loving, caring, sensitive man. Uh, uh, well, uh, he's a funny and very attentive woman's needs. That's right. A great guy who's like an anti-guy. He loves and adores women in some ways. If I take him near other guys, he explodes. If I take him near other guys, he explodes! He, uh,

worships female gender. He's open and willing to love and care for any woman or women. Willing return the love. Truly selfless. Jesus Christ. That's right! That's right! More! Sensitive and thoughtful. Very affectionate, cuddly, and an excellent cook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's open-minded and honest to a fault and wears his heart on his sleeve. He has somewhat feminine traits. What the hell? Honey, it's okay. Are you talking about my goatee? My goatee is not feminine. It's okay, honey.

It's a soft touch, but still a man. We want to share ourselves, our love, happiness, and life with a woman or women. As large polyfidelity as family. Emphasis. You can't take that word, Ken. He's going to say, emphasis on the large. Yeah.

We're not interested in men. I will love straight girls as sisters. Yeah. By ladies and lesbians as wives and lovers he will love any woman willing to return the love we are looking to start a cult oh my god we are too large-bodied even larger hearted according to my doctor people who are committed to one another. Our relationship is based on honesty, respect, care, friendship, and loyalty. And not on desperation.

Any woman, any woman, or women. We have no children as yet, but look forward to having many children. Single mothers are welcome. We will love you as... What? We will love you and yours as ours. We are looking for a woman to love, care, cherish, and welcome as part of our family. We are not necessarily looking for a place.

That was good, honey. That was very good. Hey, Salt Love Collective, could you tell me about your personality? All right. Well, we're conservative. Flirt. Fun-loving. Intellectual.

Lover. Romantic. Tree-hugger. White trash. Surprise. flirt uh fun loving intellectual lover romantic tree hugger white trash surprise uh what about your uh what about your political views we're conservative libertarian republican the conservative party canada and the conservative Party of the UK. Oh, righty then. Brexit. We are, by the way, from Florida, so that's weird. I like that they have all these

different options on each one of them. I guess one of them is saying one and saying the other, and then his hairstyle is like long hair. By the way, could you please tell me about both of your ethnicities? Oh, maybe. Yeah, we're...

No, you can take this one. You can take this one. We're Vulcan! Oh, live long and fuck off. Would you like to know about our health-related facts? Sure, yeah. We're diabetic. Folk medicine.

Holistic treatment. Homeopathy. Do you want to fuck two diabetic Vulcans? Quickly, before we melt. Do-do-do. Okay, and finally, you need to know about our body type. Before we melt. Okay. And finally, you need to know about our body type. We are large.

Well, overweight. Pleasantly plump. Voluptuous. Fond of euphemisms. God, that whole description section or whatever felt like they were in a a therapy meeting and it was like, alright, one of you say something good about the other. She's like, well, he's sweet and caring and kind and she's like, and then he

goes like, she wants to fuck a ton of women and I'm really into that. That's awesome. I guess. Oh, man. Fuck. Oh, man. Fuck. Oh, God. Wolf Wins. I just want to tell you that Wolf Wins is a member of Mullet Passions, and Wolf Wins is also... Oh, shit.

Never mind. Wolf Wins is not a member of Mullet Passions. Wolf Wins is a member of 2012 Passions. Oh, when you say 2012 Passions, what does that mean? In a nutshell, tell me what I mean by 2012 Passions.

2012 Passions is 100% free dating and social networking. For those who thought 2012 was it, oops. us is that 2012 was it. Oops. Like. So it looks like the date may have been a little off. 100% free dating and social networking for singles who believed in 2012.

If the Mayan calendar had been correct, we only had a limited amount of time left for the end of days. Well, things might have not ended right on schedule. That doesn't mean the end couldn't be right around the corner. Oh, please. Oh, please. If you're looking for people who understand that doomsday is approaching at some point, then you've come to the right place. Oh, and don't think that just because a specific day has passed that everything is fine.

There's a zombie apocalypse or an asteroid or a pandemic or something on its way. And at some point, things are going to end. Until then, be nice, have fun, and treat all remaining non-zombie humans with dignity and respect. Oh, you're so wacky. Here's hoping 2012 Passions is off by a century and that it is really 2112 when everything is going to end. We'd be okay with another

hundred years of connecting people for love and friendships. Okay, wait. Here we go. Yeah, so Frank West, I want you to introduce us all to PrettyWings09. There's these amiibos that exist throughout Pressure Network. Yeah.

Which is really weird. If you want to date a dress-up doll, there's a whole bunch of profiles. I do. Lemmy! Yay, Lemmy! Yay, it's Lemmy. Don't. I do. Lemmy! Yay, Lemmy! Yay, it's Lemmy. Don't get too close. Don't get too close.

I am PrettyWings09. How do you think the world will end? Hi, I'm new here, so I don't know quite what to say, but I'm outgoing, enjoy life, likes music, going out to dinner. Beautiful amayging smile. I'm outgoing, enjoy life, likes music, going out to dinner. Beautiful amay-ging smile. I'm a-ging. I'm a-ging. I'm a-ging. I'm a-ging.

Big on family values. Didn't hang out much but I do enjoy myself when I do. Somewhat couch potato not often. I'm mother of four. Too natural to adopted. I'm looking for a friendship and possibly something

more if the chemistry is right. So if you're interested let me know. Bye. You don't hang out much? You don't hang out much? I don't hang out much. Okay. Okay. Like I show up I'm like hey and I'm gone. Cause you don't hang out much. Okay. Okay. Like, I show up, I'm like, hey, and I'm gone. Because you can't tie pretty wings down, man.

So you're a member of a bunch of other networks, including Adventure Passions and some other things, but the site loads really slow. But you are a member of Herpes Passions. Can you tell me about that? Hmm. Looking for love. Hoping to find my Mr. Right. I love my life. I live it to the fullest at 110% every day. I like having fun going to movie dinner and out dancing.

I'm always trying new things. Within reason. I was raised in the South, so I guess that makes me a Southern Belle. Not necessarily. Not necessarily. Not necessarily. We're automatic, I'm dead. Well, I enjoy helping others to a limit. I'm warm-hearted, caring, have a big, beautiful smile that lights up a room.

I want the most out of life, and I'm looking for Mr. Right who wants the same thing. But without the head games. I'm looking for something permanent and long-term. I would love to be married one day. I love when a guy opens doors for me. I truly appreciate that. I'm looking for a guy who loves life, a good movie, good food, and a very good wine. So if you're out there, Mr. Right, I'm looking for you.

And you're also a member of African American Passions? Me! I'm African American. You are? Alright, let me note the time signature, and let me put that away in the Blackmail Frank West folder.

Alright, we're good. Oh, you should know, you can't publicly shame me any more And let me put that away in the blackmail Frank West folder. All right. We're good. Oh, you should know. You can't publicly shame me anymore. That's true. The things you've read in public, I can't outdo. Oh, okay. So, come quats up.

Wolf Wins is a member of 2012 Passions, but also is a member of a couple other sites. Would you read the profiles of these three other sites that Wolfwinds is a member of? Hello, I'm Wolfwinds! Chocolate lovers Passions!

Okay. Chocolate forever when eaten without a lot of sugar is, is, is actually good for you! Good point, Wolfwinds.

Is this written by Max Headroom? Like, what's going on here? Computer passions! A lovable nerd! They are so frustrating, but a challenge! Psychic passions!

Very psychic! I have been psychic since I was aware that I was at two years old. Wait, so you were aware that you were two years old? Because I was psychic. Good, wow. Well, she was listening to other people's thoughts, and they were like, oh, this person, she's two years old.

And she's like, I must be two years old. two years old. And she's like, I must be two years old. Man, I am trying to keep this thing a tight recording, but fuck. Okay, this very well might be the last network that we have here. And the last network that we have

here is called Stash Passions. What? Okay, I don't actually know what that means. Okay, Stash Passions. Oh, that kind of... Stash Passions, it's all about the stash. 100% free mustache dating and niche social networking for singles with a passion for the mustache.

Oh, yeah, it's all about the stash. A 100% free social network and online dating site specifically for singles with a passion for the stash. A 100% free social network and online dating site specifically for singles with a passion for the stash. Style is a difficult thing to pin down, but there's no doubt among Stash Passions members that there is nothing finer than a good stash. The pictures that they have going

there is making me scream internally. I think it's actually the child molester's passions, because that's every picture could you give me a brief rundown of the books that stash passions members are typically passionate about

oh boy Jesus okay okay oh fuck here they are in order snuff by who's it by Here they are in order. Snuff. Yep. By? Who's it by?

By, I don't know. I think it's Chuck Palahniuk, right? Is it Chuck Palahniuk? Okay, cool. One of the Dexter books. Dexter in the Dark. Okay. 1984. 1984. By the way, we're allegedly out of

high school, right? I mean, okay. Fables 1 Legends in Exile? That's a comic book about fairy tale characters who come and live in the real world. That's nerdy, but here we go. And then they spawn Origins Book 1. And finally, Outdoor Survival Skills. Ah, yes. The Stash Classics. A book that none of them will ever use.

This carousel of mustaches is like what Jesse Thorne masturbates to. Also, sorry, that first video game, is that a real video game? Voodoo Dice? Yeah. I've played that. Yeah, it's fine. It's like a little puzzle game. I thought maybe that was just procedurally generated. Is it related to Voodoo Chronicles? Which is also on the list?

Huh, that's weird. Are they both related to that other Voodoo Chronicles game? Do you mean Voodoo Chronicles or Voodoo Chronicles HD? Also, WWE Legends of WrestleMania. Wow. Yeah, sure. It's weird. I think the site's just trying to sell me things. Also, WWE Legends of WrestleMania. Wow. Yeah, sure. It's weird. Weird.

I'm beginning to think the site's just trying to sell me things. That's interesting. Okay, so find members from their preferred type of stash, whether it be Dolly, Walrus, or Pencil. Meet other stash lovers by experience level. Newbie, expert, or the ever-popular Stash Groupie. Stash Passions provides an open environment where mustache wearers can revel in the site-wide love bestowed upon them by a community of Stash aficionados. Sign up now to enjoy free Stash message boards and email. You have to say it like that every time.

Yep. Stash. Well, if you have to read it that many times. That's true. That's a hell of a show. Okay, so a little bit here. Nushel, your name is Roman1964. Tell me about yourself, please.

Ha! It's a nice cowboy hat. Ooh, that's many nice cowboy hats. You have many cowboy hats. I have so many cowboy hats. My name is Roman1964. I'm a man. I'm 52 years old.

And I love a manly stash. I like all facial hair, but goatees and mustaches are my favorite. I like it when men take a long time grooming their stash. Color, wax, fixatives, whatever it takes. On a personal note, I'm usually attracted to older men who smoke cigarettes, another manly quality I admire and seem to have a fetish for. Oh. I have a few extra pounds of facial hair.

Seem to. I haven't figured it out yet. Especially a stash that smells of tobacco. I'm relationship oriented and not into hookups. Body type, a few extra pounds. Achilles Heelies. Yes. Your name is Rideilles Heelys. Yes. Your name is Ride My Handlebar.

Yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. There's something wrong with this picture. I'm Ride My Handlebar. Get ready to go on a journey. I'm from rural North Carolina. Rural area, North Carolina. I'm 5'6".

I weigh zero pounds. Wow. He's none pounds tall. I'm 23. Also, I'm a woman who's straight. Okay. Hello, lovely world. Hey, this is like the mullet guy from before.

He wants to have a stache. That's just my before picture. Okay. Hello, lovely world. Hey, Frank, can you pronounce that? Okay. Yeah. Good.

I joined this site in hopes of talking beautiful men with beautiful mustaches and beards. Which means I very much misunderstood this site. And your username. Yeah. Quite frankly, seeing mustaches and beards makes my day. Now me.

I'm a young lady with hopes of becoming a graphic designer. This could change, as my personality does fairly often. Alas, I love helping people, sketching, cartoons, Craig McCracken, turtles, weasels, narwhals. He was the creator of the Powerpuff Girls. I think we all knew that. Famous for his mustache, writing,

singing, rapping, creating, in general, comics, and video games. I love video games. So there you go. Wow. Boy, your other networks are...

Tell me about your personality. Activist, coffeeholic, dominatrix, flirt, networks are... Okay, so tell me about your personality. Activist, coffeeholic, dominatrix, flirt, fun-loving geek, hipster, intellectual, loner, nerd, pirate, playa, playa-hater, thrifty, total slacker. So self-loathing, that's good. All right, cool. Yes. Tree hugger, type A, white trash. What? What? What? What? Okay.

Well, I know you told me about your personality, but could you tell me about your individuality? Oh, God. Oh, God. Wow! I'm a magician, mime ninja, pirate at heart, superhero tattoos werewolf. You think she likes icy pee? I like how you turned that

into a bar. My individuality is tattoos. Yeah. I'm so flacky. I'm just like I've just never seen a black woman own being white trash.

I'm a Native American Pacific Islander, actually. White trash is a state of mind, Lemon. It's not a state of mind. White trash is actually just That state is Michigan. Excuse me, excuse me. Where do you currently live? On a pirate ship.

No, God, stop! No, you don't! Hey, do you drink? Huh? Do I drink? Yeah, do you drink? Only blood. Oh, hey! Have we got the guy for you! Yeah, I just want to read

two different summaries from some of the other ones on this network. Actually, you know what? I want John Toast to read the summary for Atheist Passions, please. Oh, you want to hear about Atheist Passions, do you? Mm-hmm.

Well, you have a better chance of finding Waldo on this site than you do of finding God. Ooh. Are you wearing an Atheist fedora or a Triddle B? Excuse me, I'm talking. Atheist Passions is a free online dating, ampersand, social networking site specifically for free-thinking singles either capital A Atheist

or capital A Agnostic. So there. Fuck you. Cool. In a nutshell, will you tell me about emo passions? Emo passions! For emos 18 years and older only,

100% free emo dating and social networking for emos and emo lovers. If you are 18 years old and you view most of society as being a huge flock 18 plus years old and you view most of society as

being a huge flock of unknowing uncaring sheep being led around in blissful ignorance then this might be the site for you emo passions connect to individuals who self identify as emo and aren't afraid of what other people

think of that if you are over 18 years old and you self describe as emo you've got issues are you like the basis in My Bloody Valentine at that point? You actually automatically get to be the basis.

No, then I would be on mybloodyvalentinepassions.com Excuse me. In case you'd feel very vindicated. Kumquats up? Yeah. I'd like to talk to you about burning passions burning passions is that like what is that is that an std yeah that's the herpes one we already

went to the herpes one um it's a free online dating and social networking site specifically for Burning Man participants and singles interested in the Burning Man festival. That's cool. That's cool because Burners really just don't fuck enough. That's the thing. Never fucking each other with people. Browse the Burning Man groups to find others based on how they tend to participate.

Find drummers, lamps, lamps. That's perfect. But beyond the drummers, there are also lamplighters, volunteers, performance artists, and greeters. Find people into costumes or body paint.

Why do you need the site if you already go to Burning Man? Well, because I have the state burn last weekend, and I got my local burn this weekend, but I kind of want to fuck someone on Wednesday. Because they want it to be Burning Man all the time.

No, if you read the fine print, it says this is for Burning Man participants and singles interested in the Burning Man all the time. No, if you read the fine print, it says this is for Burning Man participants and singles interested in the Burning Man festival, not people who have been to Burning Man. Oh, I see, not actual burnings. I only telecommute to Burning Man. Like Burning Man groupies. Uh, browse

members who are involved in theme camping in space. Theme camping? Theme Camping in space. Theme Camping? Theme Camping.

I don't know, that sounds kind of fun. Hey, hey, hey, Theme Camping was my favorite PC game. That was great. Or Mutant Vehicles. Basically, share your individuality in a community that celebrates radical self-expression.

Radical. That's radical. Like Grover Norquist. Noted Burning Man journalist Grover Norquist. Noted Burning Man journalist Grover Norquist. I love Burning Man. Now, cut taxes. Frank West, what do you have? Nickelback Passions.

Yay! Look at this site. look at this site each day's a gift and not a given right a free online dating and social networking site specifically for people who love the band Nickelback

finally not only can you enjoy a community where you're surrounded by people who appreciate Nickelback but you can browse the Nickelback groups to find others who share your passion for one of the best bands ever awesome

I guess people really do have different tastes because surrounded by Nickelback fans is like my nightmare yeah so the Passions Network has over 260 different niche dating sites. Kanye Sucher, the person who put together this document, was kind enough to provide us with a list of a few of them. So we're going to go through just a few of the networks provided. So Frank West, start us off, please. Astrology passions.

Baby boomer passions. Boo. Bald passions. That's the same side over again. Ballet passions. Beer passions. Beer passions. Bible passions.

What? I love Bible. It's my least favorite Cinemax movie. I want to fuck Bible. Bible is sexy. Okay. All right. Porn passions.

Bored passions. What? What? I love planks of wood. Okay, Bob Bia. Brony passions. Vegan passions. Wait, that doesn't start with a B Oh it's snowboarders

Okay I don't know why it's called Board passions No it's all home improvement It's better than the one that's B-O-R-E-D passions right John Toast Well I have Child free passions A lot of fun Chess passions John Toast? Well, I have child-free passions.

A lot of fun. Chess passions. I love chess. Chocolate lovers passions. Clown passions. Oh, God. Nightmare passions. Whoop, whoop, I say.

Coffee passions. Whoop whoop I say. Coffee passions. Democratic passions. Farming passions. Frugal passions. I love you exactly this much. Here's a receipt. Gardening passions. Gluten free passions. and voodoo passions

man frugal passions the more i think about it the more i enjoy it like the first date at old country buffet with a coupon every date ends with like the check being sat down and them just like both eyeballing it nervously like looking from the other person back to the check like one of us has to take it. No, no, no. According to this Google spreadsheet I made here. That's actually the part where the date gets bad because the date sucked until then

but then when they bitch at the waitress for the things that they didn't want to pay for it's like, oh my god I never knew the fire in here. That's what they fuck in the bathroom. The way she complained about the bread being on the receipt. I assumed that ranch dressing was included. Excuse me!

Green party passions! I gotta go. I gotta go. It sounds great, though. No, I really... Green party passions! Halloween passions! I only do it once a year.

Herpes passions! HIV passions! What? Hot sauce passions Pour it all over me Inmate passions I also only date once a year Jazz passions

You see I'm really into scat But it's not what you think It's not what you think. It's not just a cover story. I'm the scat man, but not in that way. War passions! I want to go on a pretend date with you. Libertarian passions

magic passions all the powers up and down give me a date manga passions married passions hey Ashley Madison is that you? Weather passions. What? I want to sign up for the weathermen passions.

Her ass was cumulonimbus. What is your annual rainfall? Werewolf passions! All right. Are we all feeling horny now? Nope. Okay, terrific. Here we go.

So we've got mime passions. go. So we've got mime passions. Then there's non-smoking passions. Then there's OCD, OCD, OCD passions. Oh, I hope that's how the site is really listed.

I had to look it up. It's not a typo. It's actually the URL is OCD, OCD, OCD passions. That's actually great. That's to look it up. It's not a typo. It's actually the URL is OCD, OCD, OCD Passions. That's actually great. That's horrible. Good job. Self-aware. And I'm on the site right now, and one guy signed up four times in a row.

Oh, come on. Oh, no. All right. We've also got organic hyphen passions. Hmm. Here's a sexy one. Are you ready to get real sexy here? Pen pal passions.

I don't even want to meet you in person. Why is this letter so hard to open? Too boring for grade school, but riveting as an adult. Okay, we've also got plumber's passions. Let's go. Then we've got polyamorous passions. Oh, God. All right.

Psychic passions. I knew you were going to say that. And Wiccan passions. Moving on, we have recovery passions. What? Republican passions. Scuba passions. Sculpting passions.

Senior passions. Short passions. Shy passions. sculpting passions, senior passions, short passions, shy passions, socialist passions, sports passions, wine lovers passions, and yoga passions. That's a lot of boring meetups that all have passions. I mean, there's some of you out there probably STD passions. What's next? Maybe there's some overlap stripper passions. Where do I meet strippers? Where can I go where there are strippers?

We should do where strippers work. If only they all gathered in one place. Is there some sort of barn that houses the strippers? Oh, my God. We should make some kind of club. Yeah. For people. We'll call it a stripper club.

For people with similar interests in finding strippers. Superhero passions. Good. Taxidermy passions. Teacher's passions. Tennis passions. Trek passions. Oh, good.

Trucker passions. Urban passions. What? Okay. And zombie passions. Urban passions. What? Okay. And zombie passions. My dick's rotting off for you. And then at the very, very end of the document that Kanye Sutra provided for us, Achilles, what is the last dating site there? It is Dating for Muggles.

Yeah, so unrelated to the passion site, there's Dating for Muggles. We were just trying to sign up, but it needed a credit card, and fuck that shit. Well, only if you're a muggle. They've really missed an opportunity to call it eHermione. Oh, wait.

I went back in, and I have partial access right now. E-Namesheep.com. Beautiful. Hold on. Oh, $10.69 a year. Yes. So are we just looking to bankrupt Lemon? Yep.

Why do you think I've been doing this this long? By the way, I don't know if you guys, some of you know this, but the other day I was drinking and then I was talking to Bunny Bread and that's when bad decisions happen. And that's why I bought 2un.limited. But F+, what did we learn from this? dot limited. But, F+, what did we learn from this? Basing a whole dating site about, like, one thing doesn't really give you much. Is it a great idea?

Oh, yes. Yeah, it's a great idea. It's a great idea. No, I just... Every one of... It seemed... It felt like almost every one of these profiles that... Well, the ones that weren't just

awesome, crazy, screaming garbage was just like, so I thought 2012 was going to happen. I'm a sensitive, fun, shy, outgoing... And I'm just like, so I thought 2012 was going to happen. I'm a sensitive, fun, shy, outgoing, and I'm just like, alright. It's like they just say the one thing and then it's just like, and here's the boilerplate dating profile.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's weird. Oh, what did you notice? Excuse me! Excuse me, excuse me,

you spelled Hermione incorrectly! Ah! You search for No, you search for ehermione.com Excuse me, no, no, ehermione.com is not,

is $2,095. Please, thank you. Okay, okay, well, good. Now I don't have to spend $11 on that. Yeah, no, it seems like this is a conversation that you could have with friends over a joint, and then you'd be like, oh my god, if we did this, it would totally be this cool thing to make a bunch of money or whatever. And this is supposed

to be one of those conversations that never gets past that, because in practice, I don't think it works. This can't be... Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean, they've been going for 13 or 14 years, so something's there. How do you know. I mean, they've been going for, you know, 13 or 14 years. How do you know, Lemon?

Have you tried it, huh? Well, you're right. I have. Just looking at redneckpassions.com, online and recently active members is one. Hmm. So... So it works!

Well, I mean, that one... You want to know what recent means? Well, it was three hours ago, so... I was just sad they didn't have a Passions Passions for, you know, people that like the soap opera. Yeah, it's... It's odd. I mean, they never even changed the site layout

when you change sites. It's just, like, the like site layout when you change sites it's just like the same fucking bootstrap bootstrap template regardless they didn't even bother to take down the 2012 one when the apocalypse didn't happen so no they were like capitalized on this well and i i love i love that so many of the descriptions have variants on like an order to express your individuality. Like, that's my favorite, like, cynical part of this whole thing is that somebody who is writing this descriptions is very clearly like, yes, you are special. Express your individuality in this particular thing that you want to fuck a person who has this other particular thing. thing that you want to fuck a person who has this other particular thing.

It also seems like, doesn't it seem like the Passions guys, like, haven't figured out fetishes yet? Because, like, if you were going to make a niche dating site, like, I think you can go to F-List and figure out how to do that more correctly. Yeah, no, imagine if the F-List guys like, bought these guys. Like,

then. Oh, totally. The website, as always, thefbl.us. Our forum is Ball Pits, and we have other sites such as jerking.online and 2un.ltd. Anything else you want to say? Yam!

Passion. Okay, bye-bye candy passions i love candy i should join that. No, I shouldn't. The, the... If I met somebody who liked candy too, I'd have to share my candy with them and that would be terrible. You could give each other candy. Sometimes that's nice.

Okay. Okay. Sorry.