The F Plus - 255: Thermodynamic Martinets & Jar Jar Breasts

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

There's a fella on the internet by the name of saganfan1983 who has a lot of opinions to share about the issues that affect us all, like what breasts should look like or if it's okay to eat that one fish from The Phantom Menace. Oh! Also he built a spaceship. It totally works. This week, The F Plus only appears to kill a panda.

It's like clockwork.is. Clockwork.is. Yeah, clockwork.is. Who's you know about Lemon's habit? Oh yeah, no, I... It might even be just a tick, not even a habit.

No, it's true. I consider myself a bit of an enabler. You know, I want to make one of those sites that's just texted, like the URL is just, is Lemon making a new domain? And on the page, the text is just yes. Like one of those kind of sites. It could be, is lemon making a new doma.india?

this is a crucially important message and it is also terrible things right with enthusiasm in the room tonight we have boots rain gear fox mcleod is the leader of the starfox team and his piloting prowess is unmatched. He is a far better pilot than any Star Wars pilot in the Star Wars universe. Isfahan? The characters of Titan AE are underdeveloped and could have used a longer movie to develop.

John Toast? The 1998 song release, Believe by Cher, sums up my move of my breakup with Star Wars beautifully, since I must also believe in myself. Frankwest? I don't know. Our document provider and guest for the evening, this is Chief Skate. I had a Star Wars phase in 1996 and yes, during the ATPF period.

And Lemon. Believe me, I tried to enjoy and or be inclusive about Star Wars many times in my life, and it only ended in disaster each time. There's some people that you shouldn't associate with. Hey, F-Plus. Hey. Hi, Lemon. Oh, my God.

Wow. Hi, Lemon. Just give me a minute. Let me be in my personal space. That was a little overwhelming. You initiated the conversation. No, I did. I did.

You're right. How are we all doing tonight? Same. I'm doing great. Yeah? Swell. Cheapskate, it seems like you're not doing so great. Why is that?

Well, I found myself thinking about a movie I saw the other day that really got me down. A movie that you saw? Okay, and then so you saw the movie. I'm got me down. A movie that you saw? Okay, and then, so you saw the movie. I'm assuming you didn't like the movie, right? Is that accurate? Oh, well, yeah. You know, I thought the movie

was a little bit over my head, you know? It was called Titan A.E. Have you guys seen it? Yes, I have. I sure have not. I have seen that movie, yes. Well, the most the the most eat it on the shelves the most uh the most important thing to do um when uh you see a movie uh that you don't like is devote your life to complaining about it on tumblr that's what i've done to that end uh this is a document given to us by somebody by the name of Cheapskate.

And it is called Thermodynamic Martinets and Jar Jar Breasts. Cheapskate, am I right in thinking that this is all the work of one man? It is. It's one guy who's got both a DeviantArt page, SaganFan1983, and a Blogspot page called Project Orion 2 Interstellar. All the same dude. Okay. Who also has opinions about Titan AE. Fantastic.

And Star Wars and other things. Okay, well... And breasts. And breasts. Isfahan, if you'll start us off, please. We are going to be going to... off please we are going to be going to we're going to be going to SaganFan1983.DevianArt.com

I already saw this picture but it's so good slash art slash I hate Titan A.E. it's asking me to confirm my age this is a good sign oh I wish I hadn't confirmed my age now. A woman with a duster jacket that's made out of her own breasts that's holding up a sign that says Titan AE isn't decent. And she does have four nipples.

Thank you for asking. So, Isfahan, why don't you take us through this, please? Okay. This is a countdown list of why I hate Titan AE. Well, I mentioned the picture, so can I just describe the picture that is attached to this wall of text? I think you should.

Okay. It's some sort of lizard creature with breasts that have two nipples each and wings on the breasts, and it's made of clay and it's holding a sign saying Titan AE is indecent. And the is has the Star Trek logo next to it. On either side of it.

Yeah, it's sandwiched between Star Trek logos. Star Trek insignias. Also, like the things hanging from her breasts just kind of look like plasticine elk antlers. Yeah, I don't know what they're supposed to be. Anyway, it's fun. If you'll start us off, please. Okay, so I'm reading Why I Hate Titan A.E.T.

to Death. Yes. Point number one, this movie has a spaceship blow up planet Earth for silly reasons as its premise. I have heard the argument that if an alien species were so afraid that we would wipe them out that they would strike first but that misses my point the opening narration of the movie made it clear that the titan project was what the dredge feared most and that the titan brought the dredge upon us without any warning or mercy the dredge who are up until the climax of the movie touted as invincible,

destroy our planet all because they fear what we would supposedly become if we create planets that makes no shred of sense whatsoever. It's like they made this movie for children. Yeah, this would be awful if, you know, wars in real life ever happened for ridiculous reasons. Which is clearly not the case.

I don't know. I don't like those people. That's why. Well, as a side note, that may sound off topic. My foster parents both disliked the Texas Chainsaw Massacre for having people get cut up in it. That's a movie to stay away from if you don't like watching people get cut up.

They picked up the VHS, they saw the words The Texas, and they were like, oh, I love Texas, and they stopped reading the title. I thought this was a safety video about chainsaws. Turns out they're using them completely the wrong way. The Texas Chainsaw Mass

Acre. They had a lot of different acres of land that they were going to clear with their chainsaw, but no. I mean, there was a farm. They were close. I thought it said the Texas Chinese Manicure. A heartwarming tale. They do not like to see people being cut up, and that

is a legitimate and valid reason to dislike the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If you don't like to see people getting cut up, I would recommend you give that movie a pass. Love porn, hate the penetration.

I have heard some nincompoops tell me that a spaceship blowing up Earth for no good reason in Titan A.E. is a stupid and silly reason for me to hate Titan AE. By that line of reasoning and that piss poor logic, people getting cut up in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a stupid and silly reason for the Heblers to dislike the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Don't you see how asinine that is? Wow.

Man, you just like tied me up in a neat little bow with your logic. Like, I can't move. I in a neat little bow with your logic. Like, I can't move. I'm just swaddled in this blanket. Yeah. I don't like this movie. Why? Because I don't like the plot of the movie. But newsflash, the pointless military destruction of Earth and Titan AE is a legitimate and valid reason to hate Titan AE.

No, yes. How do you make a straw man so small? You have many... a bunch more opinions about Titan AE, but why don't we just finish it up here with the conclusion, please? Okay, let's cut to the chase here. Titan AE is an insult

to space science, astronomy, space exploration, and hope for the future. Titan AE has been so illogical, so abysmal, so poisonous, so terrible, that it has truly earned my wrath. Titan

AE has absolutely no heft or reality at all. I call any fruit that kills you instantly, even if you just taste it, a reality at all. I call any fruit that kills you instantly, even if you just taste it, a Titan AE fruit. How many of these fruits exist? No, fuck you, video game.

That was a Titan AE fruit. Now, I'm not looking this up, so I think any fruit that kills you instantly, even if you just taste it, I think that fruit's called poison. No, it's called a Titan A.E. Oh, I'm right. Sorry, my mistake. That's the sickest burn ever. All the stuff under my sink instead of those Mr. Yuck stickers, I just put pictures of Bill Pullman's character from Titan A.E. on them. Okay, I'm searching Urban Dictionary for Titan AE fruit.

I'm sure it's in there. Then there's a digression about Star Trek, but we'll just know that it's in there and that's fine. Probably the only one we're going to find. I'm assuming. Probably the only one we're going to find. You might want to put an edit point there just because the person editing this, you might want to put an edit point there just because the person editing

this, they just want to clip you saying there's a long discretion about Star Trek. And I think they'll just want to copy and paste that through the rest of the recording. I think that's going to come up again. I just wanted to put that in there for the future. Can you read the section immediately after Star Trek colon? Had Gene Roddenberry been alive to see Titan AE,

he would not have liked it one bit. I do know that Star Trek is not all happiness and that Star Trek deals with serious stuff a lot of the time. I know that Star Trek contains planet-busting superweapons like the bugle snack-shaped doomsday machine. If only there was a word for the shape that that doomsday machine was in. I guess it's gotta be Bugles.

Specifically the Bugle Snack. Yeah, not the instrument. It's got all those ridges and it's kind of bent because it didn't process it right at the factory. But Star Trek still emphasizes hope for the future and life being better in the future. I can still like Planet Buster-clad Star Trek episodes like The Doomsday Machine from the original series

and hate Titan AE at the same time, and that is okay. No, you cannot, sir! Yeah, he's like debating nobody on this. Juleen likes Star Wars, yet she at the same time disliked the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and that was fine. It's like they were two completely different movies like you need to shit or get

off the pot with the liking both star wars and texas chainsaw massacre thing the texas lightsaber massacre yeah that's why they that's why they share conventions you you know. So, um, uh, John Toast. Yes? Do you think you could tell me about your deepest childhood regret? That's joining this podcast, but I see you also have something to read here. You didn't join this podcast in your childhood, sir. It feels like it. I was going to say, it just feels that way.

It's libel. Let me tell you about my deepest childhood regret. Okay. This deviation is about a dark chapter in my personal history that lasted for 706 days, which I now regret. It's a long deviation.

Alright, deal number one. Deep chapter. days, which I now regret. It's a long deviation. Deep chapter. What I am about to say is 100% true, and I am not making even a shred of this up. For more than two decades, from May 25, 1990, until early July 2010, I lived with foster parents going by the name of Hepler.

And then, okay. My foster mom and guardian, his name, died in the hospital of complications on April 30th, 2009, and her husband and my foster dad, Bob, is now a widower. Gotcha. They have a biological daughter named **** and a biological son named ****. Okay, then it just goes through. The personal information about these nice people.

Yeah, you're just narrating the family tree at this point. Probably going to have to, like to beep all this out anyway, so just for the rest, for like two chapters, for two paragraphs here. This is an important backstory. Okay, so yes. We might have to cut some of that. Basically, family stuff

happens. In 1994, I was anticipating and did enjoy The Lion King when it first came in theaters. And I have always had movies that I like much better than The Lion King, starting with Star Trek, the original series movies. The Lion King was never my favorite movie, and it never will

be my favorite movie. Okay. Sure, that's fine. I say good day, Timon and Booba. Hakuna Matata to you. How dare you. However, I was fated to become my own worst enemy regarding Lion King in the late fall of the following year, 1995. In 1994 and 1995, I was already aware of the issue regarding endangered species,

and I was already vehement about poaching and whaling by then, and I was 10 or 11 years old at the time. I knooom? Yeah, that's it. That various whale species and panda bears were endangered species on the brink of extinction, and thus had very strong feelings about it. In the morning of Saturday, April 26, 1995, I was watching Saturday Morning Cartoons on CBS with a couple of Foster Brothers and their names. During the commercial breaks, there was an advertisement

for a then brand new set of Saturday Morning Cartoons on CBS set to premiere on September 16th of that year. The commercial I am talking about was an advertisement for multiple cartoon shows, including the Mask Animated series and the Lion King Timon and Pumbaa show.

I visually misinterpreted two clips of the Timon and Pumbaa show. The first of those two clips showed Pumbaa jumping off of a wall, screaming as he plummeted. The second clip had Timon standing on a panda bear's butt, with a panda's head apparently on the ground, and Timon was

screaming in that clip. Okay. Okay. I thought that I saw Timon and Pumbaa pound the panda into the ground headfirst in order to suffocate it. In another words,

I thought that Timon and Pumbaa were killing the panda bear. How could you? How could you think such terrible thoughts about beloved characters Timon and Pumbaa? You know, I've had regrets in my life, but nothing compared to this. No, no, that's why that's his deepest childhood regret.

It really gives you perspective, doesn't it? When this misinterpretation occurred, I started to hate the characters of Timon and Pumbaa, and anti-Timon and Pumbaa fanaticism, or ATPF, began. Oh, God. This, uh, this, that took a minute to build to, but glad we're here. Hey, Lemon. Yeah.

Slight suggestion for an F Plus Live 6 shirt design. Yeah, what would you like? What would you like? Just the ATPF coalition. Oh, finally, more members. Yeah. Well, I had to disband the original faction because it got to be so popular. You know, he didn't have room in his house for all the mail he was receiving.

I thought that Timon and Pumbaa switched from being the good guys that they are in the Lion King movie to being bad guys in the Timon and Pumbaa show as a result of that misunderstanding. Yeah, sure. You know the dark turn that Saturday morning cartoons take when they first come out? Timon and Pumbaa made their heel turn. They came out and they hit Simba over the head with a steel chair. I can't believe what I'm seeing! Fuck off, that lion has a family!

And they called the audience a bunch of idiots. Minutes or so after that interpretation, I think it's Foster Mother, told me that they were saving the panda but i did not believe her after that we went on a weekly swim practice before the special olympics at the jewish community center jcc and then after that swim practice i was grounded for the rest of the day for that misinterpretation i think you're remembering that wrong. I think the grounding is probably related to his misinterpretation. Yes, I hope so.

Is this because I thought that Simone and Timber were attacking that panda? Yeah, no, of course. Yep, that's what it's about. Yes. Just fucking stay in there, goddammit. I knew that's what it's about yes just fucking stay in there god damn it i knew that's what it was about this panda misinterpretation that i had discussed is not intrinsic and was purely circumstantial i approached the timon puma and pandas thing form an angle that was not at all obvious from a visual standpoint i was going by two clips in a commercial for multiple cartoon

shows instead of an actual show or movie. I knew that Timon and Pumbaa were good in the Lion King motion picture since it was so obvious. And I had watched the actual Timon and Pumbaa show and actual panda episode. I would have known in advance that Timon and Pumbaa were saving the pandas. It would have been obvious. The name of the TMP episode with the pandas is Don't Break the China. Okay, well, you know, we'll get Dozerfleet to look it up for you. I wish that Bob were to record Don't Break the China when the episode first premiered on CBS and show it to me.

And had Bob recorded that episode and showed it to me, I would have changed my opinion and have accepted the truth that Timon and Pumbaa were saving the pandas. And it would have ended ATPF before Toy Story first opened in theaters. So he didn't even watch the episode that that clip was from. Yeah, he's wishing that Bob would sit him down like in a clockwork orange and force him to watch it. No, I don't want to watch Timon and Pumbaa do bad things. I mean, just think what a different world we would live in if ATPF had been disbanded.

Yeah. If it hadn't gone on to be the cultural force that it has been. Maybe Timon and Pumbaa would still be on the air today. Uh, Frank West? That's me. I've got a choice for you i'm scared of choices well then you know uh you'll have to figure out some way to make this choice so here we go uh your choice is you can

either read for us all red letter media is indecent that one wow really okay well what's the other choice i need to know the other one was oh god damn it i had to do a control f on star wars and now whoops 74 instances Star Wars. The other option is... So what's the other choice, Lemon? The other option is why I fear Star Wars. I'm going to go with Red Letter Media. Red Letter Media. Okay, so if you will tell me why Red Letter Media is indecent.

Red Letter Media is indecent! Red Letter Media is indecent! And the picture is the same picture from the first thing we read. All the time he's holding up a sign that says Red Letter Media is indecent. He's getting his money's worth out of that tit monster holding up the sign thing. He spent a month modeling that. It's toes matched his breasts. Best money I ever spent on Fiverr. For reference, for the two people who don't know,

Red Letter Media is... They did a review of the Star Wars prequels and they were not kind to them. If you've got four hours to spare, check those out. Yeah, just want to give a big shout out to our sponsors this month, Red Letter Media. Again, they support everything that we read.

They 100% agree with everything we do. Yeah, Red Letter Media is the Warby Parker of Lisa Mattresses. Stamps.com Red Letter Media is horrible. It is the very reason why the star wars fan base is still divided to this day

oh so red letter media is the fort sumter of the star wars fan base people never argued about star wars before the prequels for the prequel reviews chicken rag fighting against fat brother I am not a huge

what I am not a huge... What? I am not a huge Star Wars fan myself, and me personally, I like Star Trek much better. Okay. However, I cannot stand for the incessant online harassment and cyberbullying against Star Wars prequel fans. And both of those... Those are just links to its own page.

No, it's a different page that's also No, it's the same page. He cited the same page as his source. Michael Stoklasa Stoklasa and his followers harass and bully certain other people for no other reason than they just so happen to enjoy the Star Wars prequels. And that is why I am against red-letter media. I have no problem if Mr. Harry S. Plinkett dislikes the Star Wars prequels.

if Mr. Harry S. Plinkett dislikes the Star Wars prequels. However, that does not change the fact that Plinkett's reviews of the Star Wars prequels are full of lies, falsehoods, logical fallacies, double standards, bullying, etc. Do you think he thinks Plinkett

is a real person? Yes, a hundred percent. He does. And he never mailed me those pizza rolls. I posted a comment on his web zone. Not even called a web zone. One of the worst things that were pointed out in that article is how people like a Patton Oswalt

can say they want to kill George Lucas with a shovel and still get treated like a hero. I am not making this up. The aforementioned psychopath is obviously sick in the head and needs to be locked up in a mental hospital. That's true. Definitely. Yes, I think somebody should alert the authorities on somebody in your story. should alert the authorities on somebody in your story.

The Star Wars prequels are now being censored by the mainstream media at events like Celebration Anaheim and the San Diego Comic Con. You have to go to InfoWars to see the real thing. The Big Bang Theory and TMZ have also

joined the OT-only purist race. Oh, so when you mean censored, you mean people aren't watching? No, I like the idea of just, like, Obi-Wan talking to Boss Nass and just, like, getting bleeped in his mouth, a black bar of his mouth, like he's just cussing him out.

All the fucking upskirt shots. Since I live in San Diego, I will boycott the San Diego Comic Con as long as they pander to the Star Wars nostalgic purists. I will refusecott the San Diego Comic Con as long as they pander to the Star Wars nostalgic purists I will refuse to watch the Big Bang Theory I can't get through that

that's the only answer okay both the San Diego Comic Con and the Big Bang Theory are just hanging on by a thread and you're gonna be the straw that broke the camel's back what's Sagan fans saying oh fuck then you're going to be the straw that broke the camel's back. What's Sagan fans saying?

Oh, fuck! You'll lead the entire anti-Temon and Puma faction on a walkout. Yeah. After reading that fractured fandom article, I will not celebrate May the 4th because of those nostalgic purist bullies and instead celebrate Star Trek Day on April 5th, and Star Wars Prequel Appreciation Day on May 19th. A real date that I'm sure things people celebrate.

You know what they say, fake it till you make it. This violent hate craze against the Star Wars prequels needs to stop. It is highly toxic, just like Titan A.E. Oh, callback. The OT-only purists need to learn to leave the SW prequel fans in place whether they like it or not.

The owner of this deviation has disabled comments. So one really amazing thing that happens here is one of the things that he links, uh, and talks about a little bit here is,

is, uh, the star Wars prequel appreciation society who are available at star Wars, a prequel appreciation society. Dot wordpress.com. Um, uh, and this site essentially wrote,

um, like that piece, like that piece that we just read, they wrote that, but then he wrote it again with a whole bunch of vitriol. I was just looking at that. It's like,

it's like Big Bang Theory makes fun of the prequels. Oh, God damn it. Big Bang Theory makes fun of the prequels. Oh, geez, they're eating it. So there is a piece in here uh called a stern message for not ordinary in games the protocol titan ae fan bigot what weird it's weird how he has these sort of opinions about shit that he never actually even watches but um yeah yeah that

doesn't sound like nerds at all There's some nerd outrage to participate in I don't care if I've seen it or not I gotta get down on that shit Who will know if I'll get the opportunity again Let's see, what is this Steven Universe? I'll rage it out that too, I don't give a shit So, uh Cheapskates

We are now going to projectorion2interstellar.blogspot.com And here is a pair of massive tits with blue nipples. On a male. So he's definitely got a type. It's a giant, titted, shirtless aliens who are being robbed.

There's a caption for it. The caption says, a shirtless male character of mine who has big breasts. Oh, that's big breasts? Thank you for putting that in the caption. Oh, that's what those are. Between his arms straight aloft and his eye makeup, he looks

kind of like something from a really weird Egyptian hieroglyphic. Yeah, take us through this, please. Oh, very well well Okay, this is Fredrik Galactico Impkus is Mr. FTL Hello This is Project Orion 2's chief designer And this post is about a crackpot

Whom I have written His real name is Fredrik Galactico Impkus And he also refers to himself As Faster Than Light Freddy Since he adamantly insists on the idea of faster than light travel. Those who accept Albert Einstein's special relativity refer to the brat as Mr. FDL in an uncomplimentary fashion. He hates Einstein, can't... calls... He hates Einstein!

Yeah. He hates Einstein. Yeah. Ew. Can calls Albert a theoretical despot just for showing that FTL is impossible. What an asshole. He then goes on to call everyone who knows that traveling faster than light is impossible Einsteiniacs and has a conspiracy theory about a made-up speed of light empire which he claims rules physics

and astronomy with iron fists. Those motherfuckers are lying and getting me passed. Go back to your Titan AE school. Next I'll take down those gravity Nazis. Mr. FTL's elders are aggressively lenient?

I'm going to let you get away with this. Those words don't really go well together. Please, sir. I'm going to give this one a pass, too. No, please, sir. I wish you wouldn't be fine with this. They are aggressively lenient on him, meaning that they will defend his

belief in FTL and instantly blow up at anyone who dares to teach their boy the anti-FTL equations. So they walk by a chalkboard that this guy hasn't noticed that says like FTL equals wrong and then they're just kind of like like, standing in front of it, like, ooh, ooh. It's like the anti-life equation, but FTL.

His mom, Betty Impkus, threatens to kick relativity supporters with her pointy shoes if they tell her son that it is impossible to travel faster than the speed of life. that it is impossible to travel faster than the speed of life. So is this a bio for the man with the dog head that has giant blue tits?

No, there's a different bio for that. Oh, good. Okay, great. That's just to get your attention, Lemon. Which shirtless male character has big breasts here? It could be the same person. Oh, sorry. Maybe it is for that. Sorry, he has two different

I didn't realize these were different characters. I'm sorry. Yes, it is for that specific dog-headed character with breasts. It's not for all of his dog-headed characters with breasts. Well, you would know they were different characters if you would take your

eyes off the breasts. Duh. Okay. Mr. FTL's best friend is a very troubled, borderline personality Sando Aqua Monster named Siberius Chacon. Yeah, yeah. Got a gift for monikers. Who just very lenient on FTL boy because he feels sorry for him from day one. The Imcas family runs a blatantly pro-FTL film company called Echolands Entertainment,

which they founded for their boy. Mr. FTL is... Jesus Christ. Listen, I don't give a shit about this speed of light thing. I'm just giving the people what they want. Yeah, the guys who did Airplane did a faster than light Christmas carol for them. With Kelsey Grammer in it. It's taking vanity publishing to the next level.

Mr. FTL is the arched enemy of a serious Sando slayer. Very bad posture. Very bad posture. Named Orion McSagan. Oh. Sando Slayer named named named Orion McSagan who is very vehement about hand-wavy

and wishful thinking including the belief in FTL. There is also one Coloclaw fish in particular named Sim Coloclaw who literally

vomits every time he watches an Echolance entertainment film and demands that Mr. FTL should learn to understand the equations that show the speed of light is a cosmic speed limit. Why are you always watching those films and throwing up there, cold old clawfish?

I think SimColoClaw is the self-insert. Mr. FTL's best friend on land is a stealth in-space wishful thinker named Sean Gorse. Well, I understood all of that. These are amazing names. Oh, would you

like to know more about the Echolance Entertainment movies? Actually, before doing that, I want to... Could you just read the About Me section on the right of the page? Oh, sure. Project Orion 2's chief designer. I am the chief designer on a future

interstellar spacecraft dubbed Project Orion 2 ever since I first came up with the concept in the morning of Thursday, February 18th, 1999. That's when you became the chief designer? When you thought about it? Was when you became

the chief designer? I'm assuming there's other designers, too, that you were then the chief of, right? Well, yeah, like Sean Gorse and Betty Imkus and Orion McSagan. Project Orion 1? Yeah, tell McSagan. Project Orion 1? Yeah, tell me about these.

Project Orion 1, I thought about halfway through it, and then I gave up. You just threw your hands up in the air like a giant titted dog monster? Well, that was how you got all the funding for Project Orion 2, was to make Project Orion 1, or to think about making Project Orion 1. Yeah, it was just... Wait, tell me about the Echo Lance. Sorry. So I clicked on the profile thing, and I got

a list of interests. One of the interests was Project Orion 2. I'm just like, well, let's see who else on Blogspot shares these interests. And there's three users. One of them is called Project Orion 2's chief designer, if that makes sense. There's Colo Clawfish Protector,

who has their own profile. That name sounds familiar. And also Lion King's number one defender. Ooh, they're all located in San Diego, so they can, it's convenient, they can collaborate. Hey, Deuce, what are lion king number one's defenders lion king number one defenders interests interests uh well my interests are i devote this blog to making friends with lion king and protecting the world of lion king from deep space threats

that's not what i asked you i asked you what your interests oh sorry my interest oh apologies the introduction was also good, though. Astronomy, Lion King, Project Ryan 2, Sleeping, Peace, Keeping My Bowtie Untied at All Times. Oh, wow. Keeping it casual, you know. You're just a casual rebel.

No jacket required over here. I've only seen two movies, and one of them does not exist speaking of movies, Echolance Entertainment has several movies one of them is called FTL Revolution another is Theoretical Tyranny, No FTL Allowed

god damn it why? they've also created Star Stealth Coup d'etat Which is a catchy title You'll pay for the whole seat You'll need the whole seat Also faster than light travel will not happen

And of course Thermodynamic Martinets No stealth allowed in space. Every star system has its own martinet just standing there wielding the laws of thermodynamics to prevent you from trying to sneak around. It would be funny if it weren't so true. It would be funny if it weren't so true. Okay. So we're going to move on to... Jesus Christ.

Like, okay. Okay. We're going to learn some more about Project Orion 2. We're going to go back to a page. A giant dog man with the tits is very large. It just, like, takes up the whole page. Anyway. Yeah, so...

So, John Toast. Okay. It is Project Orion 2's 13th birthday. Oh, yay! Would you like to wish Project Orion 2 a happy birthday? I sure will If things that don't exist can have birthdays Sure

I guess they can now Alright Happy 13th birthday Project Orion 2 Saturday February 18th 2012 is the 13th birthday Of Project Orion 2 So it's what? 17 now?

Am I doing my math right? That is a picture of a dodecahedron. Yep. A picture of a dodecahedron. Some kind of rocket where the bottom of it is oddly testicular. It does have a flared base.

It does. Perfect. That's a real Kerbal Space Program rocket ship if I can see one. Yeah. And Project Ryan 2's apprentice a Coloclaw fish which just looks like a badly like a bad picture of a TV

playing The Dark Crystal, I think. I think this is one of the fish from Naboo in Episode 1. There's always a bigger fish. Literally, anytime he has mentioned a nonsense animal, I have looked it up and it's an animal from Naboo.

Interesting. Didn't he say earlier that he doesn't like Star Wars? He was being coy then. Now we know what's going on. He's more of a Star Trek fan, you see. He's a Star Wars fan ally. Yeah, he is a defender of the prequel fans.

He's a big fan of the half of the first Star Wars movie that took place on Naboo. Right. And the parts where all the Gungans had gigantic breasts. Oh, just to point out on the right, our model appears again, but it actually has something closer to a name. It says Serious Breast Man. And he's now wearing a bow tie that is untied. And that's serious as in the star Serious Breast Man. What a rakish rogue.

Not serious as in he is serious about breasts. Correct. Anyway. Hello. Not serious as in he is serious about breasts Correct Hello This is Project Orion 2's chief designer Timothy

And I have something that I want to tell you on this special day to me 13 years ago in the morning of Thursday February 12th 18th rather, 1999 I came up with my most prized interstellar brainchild Dubbed Project Orion 2 After realizing that the original project orion was defunct by a hearing from someone who read about it well that's all it took

that's all it took hey dude this is fucking nutty oh okay i'll get it right next time if i write it down it blinks out of existence project orion was a real thing yeah it was a nasa project all right and god it's funnier if it wasn't cut that out sorry well it saves the fans from going excuse me they'll do that anyway the dodecahedron is a okay Okay, I commemorate February 18th as the birthday of my vision. The dodecahedron is the symbol that I have adopted for Project Orion 2. Project Orion 2's sexy alien apprentice is the coloclawfish, as in the coloclawfish in Project Orion 2 Unity.

So he wants to fuck the CGI monster from... Hey, Matt Timothy, whatever your name is, don't want to fuck crabs. Like, don't do that. Like, try not to want to fuck crabs. Yeah. I don't know. I think you're fighting losing battle, Lemon,

because there's a picture of a clay crab on the right sidebar. Honestly, I'm going over to his side. I kind of want to fuck a crab now. But I want sex and crabs to be associated negatively in a very different way now It's pretty blurry but it looks like it's sort of seductively sticking his tongue out at me

Yeah, yeah, yeah Happy 13th birthday, Project Orion 2 I think this is a poem? Yeah, yeah, yeah The lines get longer on every line break Why does every poem do that? It's an internet poem. Yep, yep, yep.

To my most prized brainchild. Your most prized what? To my most prized brainchild. Oh, nope. Okay, okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. To my most prized brainchid.

I wish you a stellar 13th birthday. You are the very reason that I go to college. Okay. Studying to be an aerospace engineer. We need a lot of those in filmmaking. You provide true hope to me and everything that I stand for. You foiled the Dredge Queen's plot to destroy Earth with logic. Wow, good job. Challenge the Earth to a game of tic-tac-toe.

You are so united with Kolo Clawfish as your apprentice in an Orion 2 unity. You are like a bright lonely spark in a sea of jet black darkness. These Japanese corporate anthems are really weird. Kolo Clawfish. jet black darkness. These Japanese corporate anthems are really weird. Cold o'clock fish. Project Orion 2. I am forever grateful for conceiving you. Oh, jeez. Well, now you're just congratulating yourself.

You signal the end of the military-industrial complex and capitalism. Wow, alright. Both of them? A rocket ship does that? I forget, are rocket ships really cheap to make? Yeah. Raytheon's gonna see the rocket ship and be like,

Ah, the jig is up. Welcome to the Communist Party. You'll need two things. One is Karl Marx's manifesto. And two is Project Orion 2. Communist Party, you'll need two things. One is Karl Marx's Manifesto, and two is Project Orion 2. Cheese it, bankers! We'll all meet back at the hideout and figure out a new plan!

Oh, this is how we get fully automated luxury gay space communism. That's where it comes from. You adapt to reality checks, since you were born from reality checks to begin with. Sure. Keep in mind, this is a poem. Yeah.

You are by far one of the most, if not the most, flexible interstellar projects so far conceived. Flexible because there's not really a plan. You will promote international cooperation and end nationalism and national pride.

You bear my very best and the very best of other kin red luminaries of reason. Beautiful. That's absolutely beautiful. It's very moving. We're going to go to a different site now, and it is called I hate Sando Aqua Monsters. Here is a different photo. Don't we all? Yeah.

Oh, wow. You're so brave coming out and saying you hate Sando Aqua Monsters. I've always hated. I am on the record as hating Sando Aqua Monsters. But all of his characters so far have been Sando Aqua Monsters. Hey, Lemon. Yes. Can I read the

byline to the website? That would be great. The byline is crushing a Christophrania in the metaphor of science fiction as well as proving that Sando Aqua Monsters should not have been imagined. Is that like

Christian and Schizophrenia mashup? Is that what that word was? I think it's an unsuccessful rock opera. Schizophrenia! Frank West, I'm very ashamed at you and your interpretation of this. His creations are not Sando Aqua Monsters. His creations are Kolo Clawfish. The Sando Aqua Monster was the bigger fish that ate the Kolo Clawfish. Oh, it colo-clawfish. The Sando aqua monster was the bigger fish

that ate the colo-clawfish. Oh, it is? And a menace. Wow, you are working overtime on the Star Wars. I'm going to have to go bullshit on that one, Boots, because if you look at the description for Sand-Eye Whitlash, the one who was holding up the signs, you'll

see that it's a cross between Jar Jar Binks and a Sando Aquaman star. I did not realize... You fucking destroyed Binks. You're so fucking wrong. He is, like, laser-focused not just on the prequels, but on a specific creature that appears for three seconds

in one of the prequel movies. This Jar Jar-breasted Aquaman is best friends with my James Tiberius Kirk homage time travel protagonist, Trenton Kirksell. This needs such the almanac. I like that for a second there, we became the website we were reading. That was pretty cool.

Yeah. I was watching Frank West and Boots fall down this rabbit hole. And land on a pair of giant dog tits. The only conclusion I can come to is that he really wants to hate fuck the Sando Aqua Monster. Well, yes. While screaming in its ear, FTL is possible.

Okay, so here's Cloverfield versus Sando Aqua Monster moving the goalposts. Now, I will talk about a cheating tactic known as moving the goalposts. Now, I will talk about a cheating tactic known as moving the goalposts. Hey, when you're talking about moving the goalposts, what is their picture of underneath you saying moving the goalposts? Literally moving a goalpost. Thank you. It's a bunch of soccer guys moving a soccer goal.

Yeah, moving the goalposts. Okay, definition. An unfair cheating tactic in which somebody suddenly changes the original standards of proof once their opponent has met them. This is one of those few times when Webster's

defines what actually be better. This is a desperate means of claiming victory when one has clearly lost the debate. This is not only illogical. This is cheating! Okay, Sando wankers when confronted with the overwhelming evidence

that their mascot is guaranteed to be beaten in fights with Godzilla or the Cloverfield Beast, create fantasies about the Sando aqua monster becoming a Jedi Knight. And one good example is this Star Wars artist Guild, or SWAG, imaged by a Sando fangirl known as Tussie.

Okay. How many of these people are there? I was going to say there's more than one of you. The word Tussie specifically. I'm just talking about Tussie right now. Oh. I don't want to digress into a bunch of different shit. On a side note, how happy do you think the Star Wars Artist's Guild was when they figured out what their name stood for?

Like, the acronym for their name. I think it took them three years to find out. said to have a fight between Godzilla and the Jedi Master Sando pictured above to have a clash of the use of force versus the force. Unfortunately for these losers, Godzilla will still beat the Sando-Akwai Jedi in a fight since his fiery breath is much wider than the Sando Jedi's lightsaber, the lightsaber would only block a fraction of Godzilla's breath. The rest is free to bypass his lightsaber and burn up the Sando. Oh my god, we're in a middle school sleepover.

Nuh-uh. Plus, everybody knows Godzilla has an isomerium pack, so he's immune to the Force, duh. A middle school sleepover that this person's mom is going to pick them up in in about ten minutes. He needs to go home. That lightsaber would only block a fraction of Godzilla's breath, where the rest is free to bypass the lightsaber and burn up the Sando.

And the Jedi mind trick would be useless against Godzilla, because Godzilla's too strong-minded. You know, it's the one character trait about Godzilla. When you think Godzilla, you think, oh, that strong-minded thing. It's very obvious that Godzilla is making informed decisions. So, the winner, as it turned out, would be Godzilla. No contest. The Sando Jedi was a goalpost move against the fact that the Cloverfield Beast would shred the Sando in a fight. Cloverfield will still win the easily reach out and grab Sando Aqua Jedi in the arm holding the lightsaber and get out of Sando's hand and perhaps use it against the Sando Jedi.

It's literally a lightsaber fight between two ugly CG monsters. In my previous post, I give reasons why the Cloverfield Beast would defeat the Sando Aquamonster, and the winner is my flagship Leviathan from Cloverfield. Hands down! Here are some terrible DeviantArt drawings. Goodbye! Boots, what did you just find on Twitter?

Oh, I found Twitter handle is RationalOrion and it says, I have made the shocking discovery of an anti-avatar smear campaign by fans of the Alien and Predator franchise. It is like a

shitty MSP drawing. He thinks everything is like a political movement. Of a Predator bisecting an avatar person and saying, Avatar sex. Burn. He stopped tweeting July 7th, 2015. I wonder what happened.

Moving on. Man, there are so many different blogspot URLs we're visiting this is so exciting Esfahan yes would you tell me the tragedy of cranky crabby

I sure will okay alright gather around folks I have a sad sad story to tell you ever since cranky crabby and lo Lobsterito were plankton larvae of their species, they were best friends. We're like sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows, you know. When Cranky and Lobo were growing up, a chef from a seaside seafood restaurant on a pier started to pursue them. Cranky and Lobo had an underwater version of a car in which they evaded that chef. Lobo shouted,

Cranky, the chef is getting closer. Lock the door. Cranky locked the door, but the chef had a means to bust into the sea car, and he grabbed both Lobo and Cranky and taped their claws. The chef laughed. You two are coming with me to my restaurant on the pier where I will enjoy every second of cooking

you. Cranky were placed in a tank and were both scared. Cranky said, Lobo, if one or both of us escape, we will turn into breathtaking obsessive compulsive disorder to make sure the chef crisis never happens again.

I know that into breathtaking obsessive-compulsive disorder to make sure the chef crisis never happens again. Is that what that is? I know that that must be satire, but what is it satire of? I don't know. I think that's what b-b-b-b-b sounds if you slow it down. Lobo said, I agree, but the chances of both of us escaping are not promising.

It is more likely that just one of us will escape and you are the most likely to escape Then the chef came That's what the chef looks like That's why I have that voice The chef looks like the guy on the pizza box Then the chef came and picked up both Cranky and Lobo out of the tank and said

Today is going to be glorious because I will enjoy the thrill of your doom. Cranky rubbed his taped claws against anything that could catch the tape on in order to remove it. The chef decided to cook Lobo first. As the chef placed Lobo into a boiling pot, Cranky pinched the chef in an effort to save himself and Lobo. Cranky then ran away, but Lobo was not so lucky. The chef sealed Lobo's fate and

placed him in the boiling pot and then went to get first aid since Cranky drew blood. This is not the sort of violence I was prepared for. Like, I don't like movies where lobsters are in pots. That's the one thing I don't like about this movie is I don't like movies where lobsters are in pots. That's the one thing I don't like about this movie is I don't like movies where lobsters are in pots.

Well, why in the world did you watch Lobsters Boiled Alive in Pots, the movie? Because I had to logically prove why it's a bad movie. Yeah. Okay. I thought it was a metaphor. And then went and drew blood. Okay. was a metaphor.

And then went and drew blood. Okay. Cranky then made his way to the exit and barely escaped before the chef went back to work and plopped into the sea below. The chef plopped into the sea below? That's what I said. And he plopped into the sea.

Following the chef trauma, Cranky Krabby declared that he would be obsessive compulsive and have OCD as a security blanket. Because if there's one thing people with OCD have, it's security. A security blanket that he washed over and over and over and over again. And then after touching each wall of his house. Yeah. No.

each wall of his house. No. Then some mysterious aliens on a survey mission to Earth crossed paths with Cranky Krabby and took him in their spacecraft. The aliens had sympathy for Cranky and wanted to take him to what would be a safer place for him. Cranky was delivered

to a watery planet within a hundred light years from Earth. There he found a new best friend who was a Sando Aqua monster named Siberius Chakan. Oh, maybe that's a self-insert. Oh my. light years from Earth there, he found a new best friend who was a Sando Aqua monster named Siberius Chakan. Oh, maybe that's a self-insert. Oh my. Siberius is notorious for feeding others obsessive-compulsive disorder.

He's an enabler. And here's a picture from an episode one coloring book, I guess. There's a maze. Oh yeah, it's a maze. Siberius said, hello there,

little fellow. I am Siberia's Chakan. I am a Sando Aqua monster who defends OCD. I feel compelled for some reason to share that detail about myself to you. Cranky replied. Hmm? No, I,

I could, do you think you could tell me a little bit About the straw man fallacy Okay Two more paragraphs And then Cranky said Cairo you just want to make

Anyone who happens to love their OCD As miserable as possible just to make yourself Feel good you are a button pusher Who likes to think of himself as cool. You are just teasing me, so OCD must be preserved. Wow. So much

political intrigue. Kairos said, I do smell a logical fallacy. It is called a straw man fallacy. A straw man fallacy is an informal logical fallacy that distorts an opponent's position and later claims to heroically defeat their opponent in a debate. You totally distorted my argument, and what you said about me has no basis in reality. distorted my argument and what you said about me has no basis in reality.

The reason I want others to get over their obsessive compulsive disorder is so they can lighten up and enjoy life like I do. It makes me sad to see others constantly anxious and paranoid. Cranky began to lose control. He got so mad he started picking up and moving goalposts. This is what I do to cope! Cranky shouted cairo obsessive compulsive disorder is by far the best security blanket ever i need my precious ocd vitals so i do not end up in another horrible situation like that nasty chef again if you don't believe me and keep trying to deprive me of my ocd essentials i will summon sabirius chakhanius Chakan, who is handsome and smart.

No, that's not in there. And he will use Clevy, you cut you in half and eat you for lunch. Kyra replied, Cranky, I will not give in to your force argument. A force argument, argumentum ad vacum, is an informal logical palace. It's like a Star Wars movie

where all that happens is the characters argue about Star Wars. I think that actually was the plot of episode two, though. This is what happens when you have a sock puppet, but there isn't even a sock on your hand. I'm explaining the force argument.

It's illogical because threats do not necessarily prove the conclusion to be correct. By threatening to have Siberius cut me in two, you are seriously losing control. I will still keep telling you to get treatment for and to get rid of you OCD. Cranky then stormed out and headed back to Sibirius. Can you skip down just a tiny little bit and tell me what happened when Cairo and Timothy exited the cave? Timothy, that's a name I've seen before. That's interesting.

We're going to skip a few more paragraphs of the author just looking you in the face and telling you things. That's true. As Cairo and Timothy exited the cave, Sibirius laughed, Girly eel, you think that the punite is going to protect you from me? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hee hee hee hee. You know what? Shitty actors make decisions. You know what? Shitty actors make decisions. This is how you're going to laugh in this story. Timothy said, Sibirius Chican, I will protect Kyro Seymour from you in the style of the eagle and the beetle. I am like the beetle and you are my eagle.

Timothy discharged 11 liters of strong sander repellent at Sibirius. I'm sure the label on it said sander repellent. So he would become so uncomfortable that he left. Kyra said, what you just discharged was an excellent defense. You just sent Sibirius packing. Thank you for protecting me. You opened up that 11 liter bottle. Let me explain what happened in the sentence that came just before this one. I just keep expecting Kyra to start going, what isn't an excellent defense is argument ad absurdium.

Argument ad absurdium. Oh shit, I almost accidentally showed something. Let me tell you about it instead. Well, it's important when you're telling a piece of fiction, always follow the rule, tell, and then tell, and then tell, and do not ever tell. Tell, and then tell about the telling. You prove Severius wrong about you and foil Cranky Crabby's force argument. To reiterate, a force argument is...

No. Cranky was still in the area, despite Severius making a run for it. Timothy said, I see a distraught crab. Cairo relied. The disturbed crab that you are referring to is Cranky Crabby who threatened me in order to keep his obsessive compulsive

disorder. Oh my god! That's a pretty good summation. Cranky, you are coming with me. Cairo picked up Cranky and Cranky screamed, Let me go, you flashy eel! Your naked eel are coming with me. Cairo picked up Cranky and Cranky screamed, Let me go, you flashy eel. Your naked eel body offends me. You have no arms to stick into the air.

Cairo replied, Cranky, you need to get control and you will see a glorious stern psychiatrist who will crack down on your OCD and treat it. And I guarantee you, at some point, our author was told by a psychiatrist that he has OCD. I don't know why you'd assume that this is autobiographical.

This dude would have loved The Godfather 3. Oh, Jesus, nobody tell him. Cairo, Cranky, and Timothy ascended to the starship that was waiting to take them into deep space. Once on board, Cairo got cozy and covered up his sexy eel body with his blanket before the ship took off. Cranky made a scene since he knew he could no longer threaten Cairo with Sando Aqua Monsters.

As the bussard ramjet accelerated, Cairo fell fast asleep and began to hibernate. Aww. Holy shit. Okay. Don't give anybody a Newbery Award these days.

I had completely forgotten that Krabby was the main character at the beginning of this story. Okay, so we need to decide how we can end this. And we can end this one of two ways. We can have the happy ending, right?

The happy ending is the section called Orion 2 Victory. Or we can have the tragic ending, and that's called Serious Arrests Mr. FTL. Boots. I thought Mr. FTL was the bad guy. Yeah, but I felt for Mr. FTL. He was one of those villains that I love to hate. I kind of want to see

what this dude thinks of victory in building his nuclear-powered spacecraft. Yeah, what's the ideal outcome for him? I'm pretty sure the actual goal point of building the ship, I feel like he probably didn't pull that one off. Well, it's going to end capitalism. Like Mr. Robot.

Boots, what are we doing here? Oh, we're doing the victory. Okay, the Orion 2 victory. Robot. Boots, what are we doing here? Oh, we're doing the victory. Okay. The Orion 2 victory. Great. So, new URL. We're now going to projectorioniideviantarts.com. Yeah.

Yeah. yeah um yeah on saturday june 16th 2012 i finally achieved my long sought after psychological objective with regards to the x-wings from star wars after all these years since i had first had the goal early in 1999 i am a member of the San Diego Astronomy Association, SDA, that uses a Tierra del Sol TDS observatory, which I went to multiple times. Most recently going on Saturday, June 16th,

2012 and leaving on Sunday, June 17th, 2012. My goal was just to have, my goal was to have just Project Orion 2 and no X-Wings out of the two when going camping. Which was in the style of my foster brother's warning in late 1993 and early 1994 when they started making Star Trek and Star Wars micromachines. Uh-oh, uh- oh, here we go. I can feel myself on the precipice right now. I was warned then to stay away from Star Wars and just do Star Trek.

But sadly, I did not listen. You don't want any of this shit, do we? You get out of here right now. Yeah, it created a whole host of behavioral problems galore. Behavioral. Sorry. I'll bet that word's spelled correctly, but I'm Canadian.

That's fine. Starting on Sunday, June 17, 2012, I am in self-exile from Star Wars, probably to never return. No! But I will do deviations of Cloverfield versus Sando Aquamonster, starting with a photo of

1 to 1,000 scale Sculpey miniatures of the Cloverfield Beast and the Sando Sea Monster and later an Adobe Photoshop image. And they're all going to have huge tits. Sorry, an Adobe Photoshop image. So I'm taking a break from Star Wars except I'm doing this thing from Star Wars.

Yeah, I mean, obviously I'm going to make Star Wars fan art, but other than that, no Star Wars fandom. Yeah. So clearly, to point out, we're more than halfway through the victory of the Orion 2. Yeah. I should have had the Orion 2 victory on Saturday, March 13th, 1999, when I was in Piscos Crater with a Boy Scout troop known as the Hawk Patrol,

but did not because my Orion 2 was taken from me, except for what they used to call autism time, in an attempt to shove Star Wars down my throat and my indecision. And this created an aftermath that took me many years to undo. Had I been able to achieve Orion 2 victory on Saturday, March 13, 1999, I would have started my self-exile from Star Wars on Sunday, March 14, 1999. If that were the case, which sadly it was not, I would never ever have seen the Star Wars prequels or nay sources on the Star Wars prequels since this would have been more than two months before the opening of Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace. And that would have been a victory.

But I still would have come up with my Seymour Dawson Peace Eel in another way. Oh, thank God. And then he kicks back and he opens up his book of Robert Frost poetry. Two paths diverged. This guy would be really good at writing clickbait. Like, he's so like, so good at... That did not describe what happened in that text. All right.

And just so that we have some sort of something here. Something, something, something. Isfahan, tell me about the time that Sirius arrested Mr. FTL. Okay. Mr. FTL. Okay. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? a dire situation in which Ceres had to use a grenade harpoon and kill Samantha. Unlike most brawlings and awful monsters, Samantha would not be deterred by lime fields or electroshock on the

ball hatches because she had a friend counting on her. Samantha was delayed, and Ceres subsequently arrested Mr. FTL for the crime of threatening a cool clawfish. Mr. FTL ended up in a timeout trash can. Dateline Star Wars. I was going for the Francis-y deck reading.

It sounded like an old newsreel to me. Whoever's editing this, please put the old newsreel footage music under that. You sit in the timeout trash can, young man. I imagine the time out trash can being

dumped on his head like in Bill and Ted. So, F+, what have we learned from any of this? I feel like I lost knowledge. I just have a few more questions. I know what you mean. This is,

I mean, it's crazy, but it's like accessible crazy. You can see that everything has an internal logic for him. But can I? Because then he'll argue against it. He'll talk about how much he loves X thing, and then on like a different blog, he'll be like, I hate that thing. That's how he frames all of his assertions,

is he's having an argument with nobody who has ever existed. And so like when, I can't tell which of these are the things he's, the viewpoints he's promoting and which of them are like the fictional characters going against the viewpoints he's promoting because nobody else in the world gives a shit so I have no contact. I think he lives in the moment.

Hey, there was one guy who left a comment on one of these blog posts, okay? Oh, well. When we had about the Cloverfield monster, there was one dude who showed up in 2015 and agreed that Godzilla would devour the Santa Aqua monster. If you look at his Twitter, someone agreed with him on stardestroyer.net, and he liked it so hard that he just made an image macro of the's quote on like a cloud background where he basically says, I think you're right. He's got it framed. Yeah, this was sort of this weird, I mean, because in a lot of these cases, we've had situations where, you you know we've sort of like pontificated about like you know you went through your life you had a boner about this thing and then you based your

life on it but like this guy this guy had that awakening no less than a dozen times in his life because he was like oh carl sagan oh faster than light travel oh this weird specific character in star wars like like this happens so many times and i don't know how do you think he can in light travel. Oh, this weird specific character in Star Wars. Like, this happens so many times. And I don't know how... Do you think he can internally figure out how to be a fan of all those things at the same time? As it goes along,

he just kind of folds it into his existing brain cannon. That is, yeah. It's really telling that he thinks of himself as primarily a star trek fan and barely mentions it because he's so obsessed with star wars yeah and like and like if this guy just wants to like you know have uh irrational conversations with people on the internet like are these the only subjects that he's found to do that about

because it feels like he's got a forest for the trees problem. They're the only things he cares about. Yeah, that's true. The only thing that we care about is you giving us $10. Nailed it. This is the best commercial for the website yet. Bye. See ya.

And it's gone can I just say one very quick thing so you know how all of his characters are holding up their hands and have exposed breasts? Yeah. Oh my god, I'm... what? Yes. So apparently the reason that is is because he's giving homage to Breast Snob Bombs. A protest movement that hasn't existed for several years. What the hell? Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

Wow. I don't know what to tell you. It was a protest movement in the 70s. What the fuck? Man, this subject has so many deep cuts, it's going to die from blood loss. Like this episode is going to be pooled on the floor at the end. I also super, super love that he has a section in the sidebar called Atheist Links, and the first link is Cloverfield Fox.

Well, what sort of god would make the Cloverfield Monster?