The F Plus - 259: Eat Me Drink Me

Episode Date: August 4, 2017

Hello, podcast listener! This is an episode about making food with bodily fluids. If you're familiar with what we do, you're probably going to like this episode a lot. If you've never heard this show before, this isn't the one to start with. Maybe try a wikiHow episode instead? This week, we're sending back this Galliano shot.

I'm just like, do I get to read something? Can it be something completely different? I'm doing come, aren't I? This is the F Plus podcast, the best podcast to listen to F Plus and F Plus related material. In the room tonight, we have Boots Reingear. The morning after miso soup,

my urine tastes particularly strong and salty. Likewise, after curry, it tends to be spicy sweet. Nutshell gulag. Keep in mind that the flavor of breast milk changes depending on the mother's diet. Jimmy Franks. Several recent studies have found that breast milk contains a healthy dose of staphylococci, streptococci, and lactic acid bacteria. Squiddy. Semen culinary mastermind needed urgently.

Are you A, passionate about culinary semen or semenology, B, live in Southern California, and C, not camera shy? He's the sexiest Archie and he's one of us now. This is Ironicus. As the disapproving ghost of Julia Child looked on, she set out to create yogurt from her vagina. And lemon. According to the Food and Drug Safety Administration,

vaginal secretions are not considered food, but that doesn't mean they're bad. Right? Not all things that aren't food are bad hey f plus hi lemon oh boy wow chipper voices chipper voices in the room you seem to be doing good are you doing good today oh so good yeah totally good okay okay i have a renewed lease on life oh and, a renewed lease. That's terrific. So it's just, has it been, Jimmy Franks, has it just been an easy going day for you today?

You know, I just, I feel like things are going so much better. I got good news in my life. Nothing can bring me down today, Levin. Do you see those clouds that are gathering over your head? Hey, you know, flowers need rain, brother. That's true. That's true. I think that some of us are familiar with a certain document provider by the name of Mix.

Mix has given us a number of documents lately, but I'm quite the tear. One of the documents is entitled, The Word quite, I've been in quite the tear. Um, uh, one of the documents, uh, is entitled the word caregiver will gross you out forever now. Um, yeah. And we're not going to do that one. We're not going to do that.

Wonderful. Cause I thought that would, that would bum me out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, don't worry because instead of that,

we're going to be reading a document called let's cook with our vaginas. Technically, if they're always with you, you're always cooking with them. Well, that would be more cooking alongside your vagina. So, uh, yeah. So we're gonna, uh, we're gonna, uh, cook with our, well, it's not just vaginas, but we're gonna

be, uh, we're gonna be cooking, uh, with our bits and, it's not just vaginas, but we're gonna be cooking with our bits and... With various secretions! Yay! You're gonna get us started here, Nutshell. So, um... Nutshell, what is your... We're gonna go through the wayback machine to a blog called

Another Angry Woman. Thoughts and rants from another angry woman. And what is your blog post called here? It's called I'm Making Sourdough with My Vaginal Yeast. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, gross.

Hey. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah. This is like the first time in a while that I've been very afraid that I know some of the people that are going to be the subject of this document. Yeah, you'll never eat anyone's cooking ever again. This is a real sort of city I live in kind of.

I'm starting to get the same feeling that I got during the cheesy feet episode where I'm just kind of on the cusp of throwing up. But go on. That's early. That's early. So just put some liquor onusp of throwing up. But go on. That's early. That's early. So just put some liquor on top of it and let's get going. It's okay. It's fine. I'm making sourdough.

I started the starter on Saturday afternoon. And it's reached the point where it smells kind of yeasty. And now it's looking like this. And there's a photograph on my blog. Sure. There sure is a photo. and there's a photograph on my blog. Sure.

There sure is a photo. It's caused quite a lot of visceral horror because I've done something a little bit unconventional to the starter. Yeast for my vagina. That's my recipe. A little bit. A little bit unconventional.

Ingredients. One small Greek coffee-sized cup of plain water. One half small Greek cup coffee cup size. Sorry. One half small Greek coffee cup size sorry, one half small Greek coffee sized cup of water That is not a unit of measurement.

It's a half small. Take small, make it half. And as much vaginal yeast as I can scrape off a dildo I put in my vagina. Whoa! My estimate is that there was about as much of it

as would lightly coat a single tine of a fork and no more. The way to know is to use a fork instead, obviously. Method? I just want to clarify. Maybe I don't really understand what is in vaginas all the time. Is that...

This lady's dildo, clearly. Oh, yeah. I feel like I need to learn more about vaginas all of a sudden. I didn't realize there was constantly yeast in there. Actually, yeah. Do you like the implications of your sheet? Yeast infections are overgrowth. They didn't teach us this in health class or home ec.

So a yeast infection is just an enormous amount of yeast and a regular everyday vagina is just... Still chock full of bacteria and all sorts of fun stuff. Okay. But she does explain further down that she actually woke up with a yeast infection. You're basically brewing kombucha down there any given day. Okay. So this is more yeast than...

Anyway, carry on. Yeah. Method, mix the ingredients together, cover in foil, and leave. The next day, feed it one small Greek coffee-sized cup of... Seymour! Seymour! ...of flour, one half small Greek coffee-sized cup of water, cover it back up, repeat the feeding. IDK what I'll do next. I'm only on the third day.

It all started with a fatal combination of a slightly perverse sense of humor, a keenly scientific mind, and a touch of the thrush. Oh, dear. Touch of the thrush was the name of my high school garage band. She's got a touch of the thrush! Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy Bernie

Fanny, I giggled to myself, maybe I could make bread with that. And that ticked into, well, I've always wanted to try making my own sourdough anyway. And then, uh, fuck, would that even work? And then I got curious, and the next thing that happened was I was scraping white goop off a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water.

Then, obviously, I cracked open the caniston and cleared up the source because itchy ninjas are miserable. Oh, man, I cracked open the caniston and cleared up the source because itchy ninjas are miserable. Oh, man. Man. Man. Day one, the next day, the Frankenstein within me, by Frankenstein I mean the guy, not the monster, okay, maybe also the monster, cheered. It's alive! Great, great, good. I like pedantics about Frankenstein's monster already. Day two, it was a few hours after about Frankenstein's monster already. Day two. It was a few hours after this that people started to get really disgusted.

Below is a small sample of comments my little home baking project has received so far. This is important, people. Please do not reply to or harass the tweeters. Yes, you might want to defend me, but if you want to defend me or help me out, contribute to my Patreon. Don't pile on these people. defend me or help me out, contribute to my Patreon. Don't pile on these people. You know, she had to go to a Patreon because the bake sales were not working out.

And Mick says it there on the link itself. We want to read them, but it's mostly just people going what the fuck or I can't eat bread now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cat's clearly upset by this. Actually, that's a crow oh well

um and then if you'll just skip down to it probably doesn't matter okay it probably doesn't matter that my sourdough may or may not contain any actual vaginal yeast the very idea of it seems to horrify people more than enough I suppose it's a similarly socially constructed disgust that leaves a whole bunch of people Perfect, perfect metaphor.

Absolutely perfect metaphor. What's the PPP on this? There have been similar attempts at cooking with bodily secretions and they've been branded art There's Toy Sunhauser who brewed beer containing a tiny trace of vaginal yeast to ask questions about what we deem acceptable There's also Christina Agapakis

who has a background in biology as well as art and is doing interesting things with cheese made from human cultures. I, however, do not consider my own project art. I consider it simply my own personal experimental baking. Again, this is perhaps why I'm so surprised at all the screaming. People who weren't nearly so freaked out when I spent a while eating pasta mixed with ketchup and Henderson's relish because I couldn't afford much else.

It's quite a good pasta sauce, incidentally. I'm also not doing it for any feminist protest type reasons, although I'm very interested to note how many people are horrified at the very notion that something may have once been near a vagina. Since time memorial, the eeeew response has caused a lot more trouble for those of us who have them, and a fair few women who don't. I mean, to be fair, it would be pretty gross if it was made with something from a man, too. Yeah. Like man yeast.

Yeah. Like some sort of smegma, like man yeast. I made these muffins from the yeast from the foals. I didn't actually make them. They just kind of happened. That's actually even more disgusting. Well, see, then it can be self-perpetuating. You eat the baked goods, you get more folds, you get more yeast, you make more baked goods.

I mean, I do all my baking in a Dutch oven anyway. I didn't know you were Dutch. I didn't know you were Dutch. So this angry woman, she goes on into another blog post that is called baking and eating hashtag cunt sourdough, which is a fun term, but it is sort of more of the same. So we're going to get a little bit more current here, and we're still on the same blog. But, Squiddy, this post is called

Taking Back Cunt Troll. Oh, I see what you did there! A post-Brexit Marmite made from vaginal yeast. Ooh! So you can spread your vaginal yeast Marmite on your vaginal yeast. Ooh. So you can spread your vaginal yeast marmite on your vaginal yeast bread. Perfect. You've diversified.

Yep. Now, this is a great opportunity for me to not do a British accent. Because that would be unlistenable. The good thing is that they have all this Brexit money going back in the NHS for when this clearly goes wrong. Okay.

A few weeks ago, Britain had its first taste of food shortage. Oh, all right. I'm starting over. A few weeks ago, Britain had its first taste of food shortages after it voted to crash its economy. Unilever briefly stopped supplying Tesco due to a dispute about prices. Around the same time, disgraced former Prime Minister Liam Fox,

who is currently in charge of figuring out post-Brexit trade, issued a call for innovative jams to become one of Britain's chief exports. I don't. This sounds like a J.K. Rowling plot at this point. We need more clever jams!

Yeah, I really wish I could do like an Eddie Izzard for talking about jam. In this climate, I decided there was no time like the present to start making a yeast extract from my vaginal sourdough starter. Again, it's my damn scientific mind,

which sparked previous weird experiments. Disrupt jam! My scientific mind has a hypothesis. It took me a while, but the results are quite promising, and if Liam Fox won't eat it, it just shows

that he has no confidence whatsoever in Brexit. Sure it is. Yeah, absolutely. Or British values, because I'm sure making my own cunt Marmite when there is a shortage is the epitome of that make-and-do-and-mend lit spirit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep calm and make Marmite out of your cunt. We sent the children to the country, and we had to do something to bind the time. Man, I love a good Blitz joke. Okay, yeah, keep going. So the headline is, yes, it is possible to make a quite tasty yeast extract spread from vaginal yeast. But my god, it's a massive puts-on-sunglasses faff.

I guess I don't know what part of Britain I have to be in to find that joke funny, but okay. It's that dry British humor. That really doesn't seem like a Carissa line to me, but okay. Well, you have to imagine the big yeah scream with a British accent to make it really work. Oi, yeah! Yeah, baby. There it is, yeah. Austin Powers, yeah.

Yeah, if only that scream was done by a Brit. Oh, shit. Boy, that scream was done by a Brit. Oh, shit. I hope there's some sort of thing in here just like the previous one where it says she woke up with a yeast infection, because I'm starting to suspect that that's just... Anyway, I woke up with a yeast infection again. Right, right, right, right.

Now, the full recipe is currently available to patrons only. Oh, donate, donate, donate! Here we go! Although it will be made public in a little over a month. For as little as a dollar, you can read the recipe now completely free from the trappings of recipe stories on blogs. When I make it public, there'll be a lot of scrolling. For as little as one dollar a month, this English woman can stop begging for attention. Just pennies a day.

For $1,000 a month, she'll unblock you on Twitter. So how is this different from Fyndom, exactly? She sort of does something, I guess. That's slightly different. I suppose. So you've got this process for making Vegemite. It seems very

complicated. Vegemite? Vegemite, please. It's not Vegemite, but it's Marmite. Vegemite's the Australian You're not going to ever read the flavor notes, Lemon? Okay, okay. read the flavor notes Will you please? Let's begin at the end, when I finally ate the damn stuff

What did it taste like? Not like Marmite, but tasty anyway It was sort of sweet Like chutney With a strong umami edge Not as strongly umami As Marmite But more like as strongly umami as Marmite, but more like the delicate flavor of Vegemite.

Delicate flavor of Vegemite, yes. I have no context. Every time I put Vegemite in my mouth, I've thought, this is a very delicate flavor. I have no context for what this, like, I've never tasted it before. Anyway. You need to become a patron of this woman and then uh

then you'll get in on that the closest thing i can compare it to is brown sauce great uh so so yeah so you could just skip down to uh i incubated it i incubated it in total about 26 hours i intended do 24 hours, but I was playing a really awesome game called Night Witches with pals, so I was out for a bit longer. Strongly recommend playing Night Witches, by the way, if you like any of the following things. Communism. Planes. Women's history. What?

Yelling, Daka-aka Motherfucker at imaginary Nazis. That's all completely on the level, which is a great game. Okay. Do you end up yelling Daka Daka Motherfucker during that game? No, we mostly just

cried, but whatever. Guys, I think this might be the future mrs jimmy franks right that's current that's terrific uh well but before before you uh before you propose before you propose and i think you should uh but just i just want you to know what you're getting into um she's uh she's not particularly straight this woman um. No. But she does say in a blog post called Six Things I Learned About My Orgasm, she does say as the headline for number five, my orgasms make men sad. Aww. So, you know, just know that going in.

It's fine. What did she scream? Wait a minute. I believe, Daka Daka Motherfucker. I know guys would be really happy at hearing that. Yeah, so we're going to be moving away from her blog, and...

Too bad. I think there's one more piece that we're gonna be moving away from her blog, and, uh... Oh, shit. Too bad. Yeah, I think there's one more piece that we're gonna read here. Uh, Jimmy Franks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wanna give you a choice on where we can go next. Oh, okay. Alright. Okay, okay, you ready?

You ready? Uh, mm. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. Let me steal my resolve. This has been a bumpy ride, but... No, why would you need to steal your resolve? This is fine.

We already did the vaginal yeast. We're done with that. It's all fine. Okay has been a bumpy ride. Why would you need to steal your resolve? This is fine. We already did the vaginal yeast. We're done with that. It's all fine. Okay, so here we go. Two choices. One is from a really not that great site. It's called vice.com. That is a venerable news organization. Venerable news

organization without a sports section anymore. I'm very proud of them. Anyway, so this section is called How to Make Breakfast with Your Vagina. That is option number one. And option number two is called The Order of the

Yoni. You know what? I feel like the vagina thing is pretty obvious. It's pretty on the nose. The vaginas are pretty obvious. They're always just right there. This order of the yoni thing... There's a vagina on your nose.

You're having a pretty good day, though, to be fair. This order of the yoni thing is intriguing. It sounds like a secret society or something. Fantastic. So here we go. So the order of the yoni is the first beer with vaginal lactic acid in the world. Jimmy Franks, tell me about the beer, please.

Guess we'll all just have to live with making breakfast without our vaginas. About beer. Imagine, woman of your dreams, your object of desire, her charm, her sensuality, her passion. Try how she tastes. Feel her smell. Hear her passion. Try how she tastes. Feel her smell. Hear her voice.

Now, imagine her giving you a passionate massage and gently whispering anything you'd like to hear. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, now, free your fantasies and imagine all of that can be closed in a bottle of beer.

Oh, dear. That's, uh. That's right. How tight do I have to close my eyes for this to make sense? A golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavored with wild instincts. Imagine a beer which every sip offers a rendezvous with this hot woman of your dreams. She hugs you and kisses you

gently, looking straight into your eyes. Oh, that's gross. I don't like open-eyed kissers. How much would you give for such a beer? You know what? You're making beer with vaginas. You don't have to talk in metaphor. We,

the Yorder of the Yoni, have prepared technology making creation of such unique beer possible. The Benedictine monks of snatch. The beer containing quintessence of femininity. Ooh, yeah. The beer containing quintessence of femininity. The beer containing quintessence of femininity. The technology enabling materializing her loveliness, gracefulness, and character, giving you the possibility of conversion of a tasty beer into a date with real goddess.

Hey, Jimmy Franks, I got a really super important question about this beer, this order of the yoni. You know the photo where there's like a beer bottle and then there's like silk panties on top of it Hey, what's the secret of the beer the secret of the beer lies in her vagina? We looked everywhere It's more of a listener Pusner? Oh, all right. I'll take it. I'll take it.

Using high tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine, and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman. A unique woman? A unique woman? She's got this, like, short undercut. She reads a lot of, like, Vonnegut. No, it's Bjork. Oh, well, that would be a very unique woman.

Also, Bjork would sign up for that. The bacteria Lactobacillus transfer woman's features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into dance. This beer knows how to kill. Because all those things come from the vagina.

Turning them into dance with He knows how to kill. Because all those things come from the vagina. Turning them into Dance with Lovely Goddess. Why is this reading like a phishing email? Can't imagine why the thing all about vaginas reads like a phishing email. Jimmy Franks,

I would like to know something about your models, but it looks like you only have one model. Her name is Alexandra Brandlova. That is a kind of female whose pheromones will stay with you after the meeting for the following week long.

Wait, so Alexandra is a type? She's a model? Oh, she is actually a model! That kind of a woman whose voice you will wait expectantly to hear in your favorite piece of music. Whose face you visualize every time you close your eyes. The woman whose silhouette you recognize in the outline of the clouds. It's total insanity and excitement reminding you of the best time of your youth. Your first love.

First kiss. First sexual experience. This insanity will overwhelm your mind with the first taste of our beer. Whenever I think of my first sexual experience, I want to get drunk too, so. Sorry, Jamie. We have devoted much time to seek for such a woman. All the models had to undergo a very strict selection process. What does that mean?

How little will you accept in pay? And finally, after long months of search, we have made it. We have found a woman that personifies femininity, natural charm and lure, and who possesses all the desired instincts which we wanted to frame in our bottle of beer. Or perhaps only one agreed. Could be. I'm looking over here at your, it's also linked on your site, but I'm looking over here at your Indiegogo page. Yes, yes. By the way, if you haven't guessed, this beer

comes from Poland. They have a PDF, which is even tackier than their website, which is their pitch deck to VCs, which is very fun to read. But yeah, so the Indiegogo campaign, you were looking for...

I was looking for $150,000. Yes, yes. Yeah, okay, okay. Well, no, not $150,000. looking for $150,000. Yes, yes. Okay, okay. $150,000. How much did you raise? I raised 1,578 euros. Solid 1%. Congratulations.

If you look in the comments Kenna McCaskill says Here's $5 in hopes you never get funded This is fucking disgusting Can't wait to feel the sweet gratification of getting this $5 back To which somebody else points out Hey it's flexible funding You just spent $5

Jimmy Franks I'm so sorry that this happened in the past and and uh this seems to be over um and i can't give you money but uh but hypothetically if i could if i could have given you money i probably would have given you 66 dollars had i given you 66 dollars what i would have gotten oh i'm so sorry 66 66 euros. Yeah, plus shipping. But anyway, you would have gotten the Yoni polo shirt or Yoni tie. You could choose with the Yoni logo, the bottle opener, beer pad, and Alexandra Brendlova's autographed poster. What?

My polo shirt? Let me explain. By the way, I think this interview is going really well. Hey, Jimmy Franks. Yeah. I want to give you 10,000 euros. What? Oh, that is so nice of you, Bootsy. I really want to give you 10,000 euros.

You believe in my vision. But there's a reason for this. Well, all right. Look, I don't do this for everybody, okay? You didn't do this for anybody. I don't do this for everybody, but because you believe in my vision and my product, I am going to give you the girlfriend's bacteria package. Wait, wait, wait. No, no.

Look more closely at that. It's not the girlfriend's. Yeah, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry. The girl fiends bacteria. All right. So this is what you get. This is what you get with the girl fiends bacteria.

All right. You get a voucher for 60 bottles of beer produced on your girlfriend's vaginal bacteria. So it's like a craft beer. It's custom made. Home brew. And then 40 grams of the bacteria to produce homemade kefir. Additionally, may require to

visit a gynecologist in Poland or Germany, because we want to keep it sterile. One who's down. So, girlfriends only, wives? No. My God, yeah. You're going to be the Cynthia Plastercaster of Vagina Beer. My god.

So fucked up. Yay. I got just a couple quick questions, by the way. Oh, sure. I know that you're gonna get funded, and you got your pitch deck all worked out. I just got a couple quick questions I wanna run by you.

Totally. Does the beer is really produced with women's vaginal lactobacillus bacteria? First of all, I'm glad that you worded it that way. I totally get what you're asking. Yes. Yes. We take the bacteria from vagina using gynecological stick. We found it in the gynecological woods out back.

Then the stick goes to the laboratory where the bacteria are isolated and cleaned, identified, and then multiplied to the quantity that enables preparation of culture starter kit that is used in brewery. Wow. I only want the last sentence of your answer, but is it safe? Is it safe? Is it safe? The lyophilized bacteria are examined on presence of alien DNA and or RNA. So we're 100% sure that only lactobacillus bacteria, no other bacteria, and no viruses are in final product.

100% no xenomorphs in your beer. This ain't the XXX files. Hey, how about the model? Oh, we selected a beautiful, very intelligent woman for our first beer, and she personifies beauty, intelligence, and will be an inspiration for our future models. That's good. That we will totally get. Did you check the model's past? Every model in the beer project has to sign the contract with high penalty for working in adult industry, sex industry, as adult actress, ex-court, prostitute, etc., etc., etc.

How dare you, sir? Lots of etc. The same example five times, etc. Yes, enjoy your human papillomavirus beer. She is, our model is definitely not a hooker. We just paid her to let us insert something in her vagina.

I don't see what the problem is. Hey, do you brew in your own brewery? No. Sometimes doors aren't locked, okay? The order is a craft brewery that commissions brewing to our befriended partner breweries, a.k.a. Mom's Basement. Then you're not a craft brewery!

By definition, you're not a brewery! Are you open to cooperation with other companies? Yes! Yes! And once again, yes! We are open to cooperation with breweries, drink production companies, diary companies. Do they mean diary or do they mean dairy?

I'm not sure which is worse. Dear diary, today I had beer from a woman's vagina. Et cetera, as our potential subcontractor or cooperator. If you are such a company and have an idea on a new vaginal product and you want to cooperate with us, write us to this email.

I'm a company. So my product would perfectly coincide with your product. It would be like a Mickey's wide mouth bottle. That after you consume the beer, the vaginal beer, then you fuck the bottle. Oh, then you fuck the butt.

Oh, that's great. Holy shit. They make fleshlights that come in beer cans. So this is just a logical step. I'm curious why it would have to be wide mouth, though. Can I pitch you a name? Mickey's Big Pussy?

I'll get a Sopranos tie in that. I think that Disney's already got that as a ride. I got just... You don't want those Disney lawyers coming after you. I got just one more question for you, Jimmy Franks. Are you open to

cooperation with other models or actresses? Of course, yes. We have our own model of model recruitment, but we also are open to cooperation with other models, and especially with supermodels, actresses, celebrities, and stars. Because we will launch special series of beers made on celebrity etc. Yoni bacteria with edible gold and saffron.

Great, yeah! Excellent! Jennifer Lawrence will do anything these days. Let's see, what do we got on the celebrity list? Oh, we got Eddie Deason. We got the guy from Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Oh, yeah, that's why I'm not.

We got the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Just casting outside of the Scientology labs. I believe it's canon, by the way, that that Taco Bell Chihuahua is a Scientologist. I also like that they actually bought the, or they set up the email address, celebrity at order yoni dot com for all of the

celebrities. Will Smith is just like almost hit and send on this thing. You know, it's's like I don't know man I also like that there's like no indication of what the actual beer is like it doesn't have a type of beer it looks kind of dark it looks really dark yeah yeah it looks kind of like Tusk

or something like that or Tusker and it's only costs like $2.90 US, so pretty good. That's very reasonable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Order of the Yoni, the official drink of the F Plus Live 6.

And you do have to drink it. That's the only thing you can actually order from the bar. Taking down all the other tap lines. Alright. you can actually order from the bar. We're taking down all the other tap lines. All right. So, Boots. Hey, Lemon. We're going to move off of vaginal stuff, vaginal

secretions for just a moment. It's going to get way more pleasant now. Yay. Mostly. Yay. Oh, finally. We. Yay. Oh, finally. Happy days are here again. We did it. So, yeah, I just want

to give you a guide. I want to give you a guide, because I like cocktails. I know that some of you, yeah, you like cocktails. Oh, good. And so this is the complete urine drinker's cocktail guide. Urophagia, also known as urine therapy, is the tactical name for drinking your own urine to improve your health. Blah, blah, blah. But is it safe?

While many tout the health benefits of drinking urine, there is no actual scientific evidence to the health benefits. Thus, urine therapy is very much in the alternative medicines category. Some experts believe. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, so I got a couple examples here of some urine cocktails. The first one is called

Pinagrilad. Grilad? Oh, I see what I was going for here. I see what I was going for here. You're gonna like this title. This is good. This is really good. Pina grillada. Huh?

You like it? If you like pina grilladas. Yeah, this classic Puerto Rican cocktail can still be enjoyed without the rum, thanks to its refreshing coconut and pineapple blend. Add urine for that tangy kick! So this is 50 milliliters of coconut juice, 75 milliliters of pineapple juice, 50 milliliters of fresh urine.

Wait, was that 50? 50. 50 milliliters. So the same amount of urine as coconut juice. Yeah, and then some pineapple wedges. Can you go back to the explanation? Because we need to know why it's called peanut grillata. Oh, well, we've dedicated this one to Bear Grylls

as we've all seen his consumption of urine on TV. He also admitted that he enjoys a pina colada with the crew at the end of a Man vs. Wild shoot. Okay. So the next recipe I have for you is a Pisco Sour. While this South American drink derives its name from its base liquor,

you can get much the same lime flavor without adding the alcohol. See, this is really good. It's better for you. Yeah, so it's like an alcoholic drink, except we took the alcohol out of it, and then we peed it. You're going to need some lime juice, 75 mils of that,

25 mils of sugar syrup. Then you're going to need 50 mils of fresh urine. Then a bitter... You don't want to get the canned urine. Alright, just go yeah but that was such a

but you know what it reminds me of my childhood it was always a tradition that canned urine smell yeah we were all so poor back then you know we had to use the canned urine we couldn't even afford to use our own urine this is the kind of thing you do

when you go back into the kitchen to make yourself a drink, but you're just so goddamn pissed off at yourself. Also me. I want to get drunk. Also, I hate me. I'm going to piss on my own drink. I'm curious.

Do these drinks involve ice? Yeah, you just scoop it out of the urinal at the ballgame. It says blend together with egg whites and little frothy and serve over ice. Okay, okay. I think the grossest thing would be to drink warm urine drinks. Cold urine drinks, that might be alright. So yeah, we've got Angostura bitters, we've got half of a free-range egg white. I don't know why

I had to specify that. Also, half of an egg white. This is... Even if it had whiskey in it, this would be a really bad whiskey sour. Blend together until the egg whites are frothy, serve over ice, add lime slices as an optional garlic.

Finally, we have the We wee-ski-mac. Wee. It's so cute when people call pee wee. Is this like Britain's Greatest Perverts? Are we in that territory right now? Oh, I think we've been here. Yeah. No, we started out.

We started out. We started out with the word fanny like a minute in, and I think we're still there. So we're in Britain this whole time. So forget the whiskey. The mixture of urine and ginger beer will more than warm your stomach during a night by a roaring fire. You're going to need 50 mils of ginger beer, 50 mils of fresh urine, and then 25 mils of maple syrup. Oh, that's sweet. of fresh urine and then 25 mils of maple syrup.

Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. You know, the part that makes quitting alcohol the hardest is the substitutions. That's true. By the way, at the end of the recipes

mix says there's also a link to the PDF with the entire recipe list, but even I have my limits on what hits my hard drive. By the way, the man who put together both this document and the document all about free-balling has limits, everybody. I have standards. Oh, dear. So, Ironicus. It sounds like that.

So, you got Ironicus. I hope it makes sense like that. Um, so, uh, you got some recipes here. What do you want to talk about here? Just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop, how many different ways are there to eat your placenta? There are four. There are at least four ways to eat your placenta. Recently. The worst Paul Simon song. Make it in an omelette.

Omelette. Have it in a tuna salad. Rallid. Recently, the internet went nuts about Kourtney Kardashian's instant tribute to the placenta pill, in case you missed it.

She posted a picture of two placenta pills she was about to take on Instagram and hashtagged it with hashtag benefits, hashtag look it up. Well, we did did look it up and it turns out that even though most traditional doctors don't see any reason to take them there's no scientific evidence to support popping them they are still very popular in the midwife sector all those wacky midwives i tell you what if you think you may want to eat your placenta,

consult your doctor first just in case. Then, if you get the go-ahead, try these DIY placenta recipes from Kate DiBenedetto, author of DIY Placenta Edibles.

You know, I'm pretty sure if you actually have a doctor, you don't have your placenta. I think that's kind of how that works. That's a good point. I'm just gonna take this. I don't like this whole idea.

It came out of you and you didn't want any medical professionals. Knock yourself out. Do you want us to wrap it up for you? No, I'm just going to eat it on my way home. Oh, no. This whole child birthday really got me the munchies.

It can either go in the bio-waste disposal bag, or we can wrap it up in tinfoil like a swan. So, placenta smoothie. First ingredient, placenta. Right. One cup fresh squeezed orange juice. Half cup plain organic whole milk yogurt.

Vaginal yeast. Possible, but... One cup frozen strawberries. Note. Why frozen? Why frozen? To make it cold. Again, these drinks have to be.

Smoothie yeast. Frozen fruit. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come on.

Step one. Put on gloves. It doesn't tell us. Hey, hold up. Hold up. It doesn't tell us if the placenta is fresh or frozen. And like how much placenta? Is this a whole placenta? Yeah. I think it's if the placenta is fresh or frozen. And like how much placenta? Is this a whole placenta?

I think it's a whole placenta. Is this a free range placenta or is this farm fed? You're going to take your can of diced placenta in thin syrup. Put on gloves if you'd like to use them. Place your placenta on a tray and see where you feel called to remove a piece of it to use in this recipe. Let the goddess speak to you. Using your scissors, take out a half dollar sized chunk from one particular spot. Or you can remove several smaller pieces from different spots, such as the maternal side, the fetal side.

Don't play with your food! Squiddy, are you happy to have an answer to your question now? I am. Now, this is making me feel really sad that I never even saw my own placenta. Can I use, like, a cookie cutter to make little snowmen? Oh, that'd be cute! That's so cute! Placenta jerky. That's actually's so cute! I sent a jerky.

That's actually probably the best idea, to send a jerky. Honestly. And then you just, like, blend the fucking stuff together. It's a goddamn smoothie. What do you want from me? I want to hear seven. Serve in a gorgeous

glass with a colorful bendy straw. Oh, can it be a crazy straw? Because you deserve it, Mama. That sounds good, but I'm a... What if there's chunks? I'm a sophisticated person. I need a

sophisticated traditional Italian dish. What do you have for me? Oh, well, you might be in the market for our placenta lasagna. Hey! Oh my god. This person's Instagram

looks like pictures were taken by Tom Savini. Placenta lasagna Instagram. Oh no, no no don't do it let me know if you find a lotus because those are fun i also like the idea of making a lasagna just for you to eat alone oh you don't know so you've got you got all your typical lasagna ingredients plus half pound placenta. I like that there's ground beef and placenta.

Yeah, we're not monsters. Can you read the third last ingredient and the second last ingredient? Yeah, please. All right, you've got a half cup of broth and then a quarter cup of broth. You're gonna sauté your onions, garlic, butter over

medium heat for eight minutes, sure. Chop placenta into small pieces using either a very sharp knife or a pair of kitchen scissors. I'm so mad. A snowman cookie cutter. How do I... I have a very important question. How do I chop

with a pair of kitchen scissors? Honey, were you using my pinking shears to cut the placenta again? You know, I just dulls the blades. You're a mother now. You have to figure out how to improvise. Okay, it's all about problem solving. Add placenta pieces

and ground beef to the pan with the onion and garlic and cook until beef is no longer pink. What about the placenta? Don't pay attention to the placenta.

It'll just take care of itself. It's fine. It's nature's way. Add tomatoes, dried spices, salt, pepper, and wine. Simmer simmer 15 minutes drink more wine drink enough wine to forget what you're doing did we mention the wine hey everybody i made the sign where's my baby at oh wait a minute that's not a placenta. No!

It's a giant mushroom cap. What are you thinking? What's wrong with you? Why would you think I would say such a thing? You're the problem, listener. Dristle, you just layer it. Fuck it. Placenta chili. Oh dear. Just so you know,

the three-quarters cup of broth just gets poured onto the lasagna. So it's kind of a soup. Bitch, you should know how to make lasagna, okay? Like, just layer some shit. And they don't have noodles in the lasagna ingredients list. I think the placenta's actually the noodles. No, there's noodles in the directions.

Yeah. Oh, okay. It's just a bad recipe. So this requires, I don't know what a healthy placenta's, like, weight is, but this requires a half pound of placenta, and that seems like an awful lot. You know, all of that dark web shit got shut down today, so I don't even know the street value of a placenta. Honey, did you eat all the placenta? Aw.

Fuck, all these sites are going away. I don't know how I can sell a placenta or even buy one anymore. So, yeah, placenta chili sounds all right, but I'm way too excited about recipe number four. I've had enough dinner. I'm ready for dessert, frankly. Okay, all right. Can I interest you in some placenta truffles?

Yay! I would like to point out that if you want to make all of these recipes, you need to have four children. Not necessarily. There's a lot of kind of just like cutting up the one placenta. With a scissor. Yeah, with a scissor. So you're going to have your placenta.

Have a half cup of unrefined organic coconut oil. Three quarters cup organic coconut butter, five to six tablespoons raw cocoa powder, two to three tablespoons maple syrup, and sea salt to taste. You want to make sure your placenta tastes delicious. It already does, but I'm cooking it anyway for some reason. This recipe is based on the amount of placenta powder

from an entire placenta. If you are only using part of your placenta for shuffles, then adjust the ingredients accordingly. Step one, grind your placenta in a coffee grinder until it is very fine. What is a placenta? Like, now I don't even understand. Wait, first you didn't know what sort of things were inside a vagina. Now you just don't know what a placenta is? Are you sure you're a woman?

I don't know. Education in America, I swear. Is it like freeze dried or something? But it didn't say to do that. First job is to ruin your coffee grinder. say to do that? First job is to ruin your coffee grinder. This person

put these up and then realized at the last minute that they meant walnuts instead of placenta, and they're like, oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Ah, I already pit-posted. It's too late. Walnut lasagna? That's gross. If you already ground your placenta,

then you can skip this step. Why else would you have ground your placenta? Why? Wait, that's the pill. That's the pill form. So I guess you do dry it. Of course.

I thought there was a professional involved in those there was an expert that would come I'm gonna bring it to my placenta grinding guy a placenta sommelier there are at least five people in Los Angeles who have that on their business cards

come on place a fine mesh strainer over a large bowl and strain your that on their business cards. Come on. Place a fine mesh strainer over a large bowl and strain your placenta powder into the bowl. The strainer will catch the bigger bits of the placenta that would be unpleasant to have in your truffles. It will let through the smaller bits of

placenta that would be unpleasant to have in your truffles. That would be unpleasant to have in your truffles. It's the bigger bits or pop them into capsules and consume them that way. Set up a double boiler on the stove and begin melting the coconut oil and coconut butter in it. Add placenta powder and mix until incorporated. Wait, what happened to step four? What happened to step four? It's gone.

Redacted. Step four is what the government doesn't want you to know. These are terrible recipes, even without the placenta. You know it's a really good candy if halfway through the recipe it recommends just eating it in pill form instead. Step four is the one weird trick that's waiting for a kindergarten teacher

to rediscover it. Doctors hate this. You won't believe what happens. Add the cocoa powder, maple syrup and sea salt. Mix until incorporated. Continue adding maple syrup and salt to taste. More maple syrup, more maple syrup, more maple syrup.

Set up candy molds on a tray. Pour one tablespoon of truffle mix into each mold. Place tray of truffles in the freezer until set, about 15 minutes. Store finished truffles in a container in the fridge or freezer. I recommend making any of these recipes without the placenta. I don't. Hey, Nutshell. Hmm?

You've made chocolate before, right? Yeah. Doesn't that seem like not a lot of chocolate for a truffle? Generally, yeah, chocolate recipes is actual chocolate. Not just coconut butter and cocoa. No, it's not cocoa, it's cacao powder. Cacao powder, right, yes. And then there's two other bonus recipes.

No, I don't want you to read the recipes. I just want you to tell me what those recipes are. We've got roast placenta for the purists in the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And placenta spaghetti bolognese. Hey, it's a spicy placenta. Hey.

Also following that, there's one that we already suggested. Dehydrating your placenta. You can have placenta jerky. God, genius. And that's why I'm vegan. So, uh... Just in case. Just to eliminate that chance.

So we are going to move along here. We are going to move along here. We are almost to the last section. We are almost to the last section. Jimmy Franks, are you excited about getting to the last section? Oh, man. You know what? I was a little bummed out with the pea drinking and the placenta eating and the vaginal yeast cooking.

But it's got to turn around, right? Yeah., but it's got to turn around, right? Yeah, no, it's going to turn around. So we are going to- There's a line at the end of the tunnel and everything's going to be okay. We are going to get to the last section. We are. We are. We are.

But before we get there, we are going to read about Mother's Milk No Chaser. Okay. I'm cool with that. Yeah, so, Squiddy, I think I'd like you to just take a little bit of this, if you would, please. Oh, good. Thank you. I was really hoping you'd choose me for this one. Yeah, you're

welcome. Great. So, Squiddy, this is just a... This is from... Oh, my God. This actually is from MamasMilkNoChaser.com. So, Squiddy, this is just a... This is from... Oh, my God. This actually is from mamasmilknochaser.com. So, it actually says on the site, Keep this in mind. Breast milk is not a food.

So, anyway, Squiddy, I have a question for you. What does breast milk taste like? A reliable source of mine says it tastes very sweet, a bit nutty, like candy. Just like a melted payday bar minus the salt. So it just tastes like peanuts? Breast milk is usually sweet tasting, even more so than fruit. usually sweet tasting, even more so than fruit. Many people say it tastes like

warm cow's milk, except sugary. Almost too sugary. No wonder kids are obsessed. And more like skim milk due to the low fat content. Sometimes milk that has been previously expressed

will develop a soapy almost metallic aftertaste due to the lipase enzymes, of course. Melted ice cream is a popular descriptor. I could go on. When asked what they think breast milk tastes like,

children have said apple, honey, grapes, popsicles, strawberries and cream, rainbows and butterflies. And interestingly, kids often say that one side tastes different than the other. Oh, come on. Come on. That just means they're natural. Yo, how long are you breastfeeding that these kids have developed, like, language and shit?

Hey, uh, hey, uh, Nutshell? Yeah? I know that, uh, Deanna from Codename Mama did a little taste tester sleuthing. Mm-hmm. Um, and what did, what did Deanna, uh, say? Liquid hot sweet. No specific taste, really, to me. Both of my kids agree that one side is fruity and the other side is like a confection.

I've been informed they taste like banana, coconut, peaches, chocolate, and probably some other stuff I can't remember. How old are your kids that they can make these kind of taste comparisons? I mean, seriously, the word confection is pretty advanced. Yeah! Time out, time out. So it's, uh, Deanna's friend

Heather is attributed to that quote, but Deanna posted it. So was Deanna's friend Heather sampling her Deanna's kids? Or was it Deanna's kids sampling Heather? I don't know. Now you tried Deanna's boobs. You tell me what you think

of those. It's sort of like an apple brandy from the 90s. Not the shit from the 80s. Anything more Dane said about Deanna's breasts. The left titty gets three Michelin stars. Also, Ironicus, what did Mama Pie

have to say about this? Mama Pie. I like grass. Nope. I'm going too hard into being a vegan. I like grass. I. No. I'm going too hard into being a vegan. I like grass. I sort glass. Like grass salad for lunch.

And a little sweeter. It's not sugary sweetness though, it's more like it evokes the smell of something sweet and foodie all at once. Because who wants sweet salad? How is grass your salad for lunch? Great. Who's feeding these people?

So just real quick, Squiddy, if you'll go through some of these very simple recipes. You don't even need to describe them too much, but just take us through a couple of these recipes that you can make with breast milk. Should we start with the easy stuff? Yeah, let's start with the easy stuff. Breast milk bread starter. Simply replace water with breast milk in your favorite bread starter recipe.

These are really recipes for children. Let's move on to recipes for bigger people. Oh, boy. Really? Should we do that? You could make cottage cheese. Why would I make cottage cheese, though? French toast strato with caramel sauce.

Come on! What? Yes, and breast milk risotto. I know how you love risotto. I do love risotto! I did love risotto! I did love risotto. Vanilla breast milk.

By the way, that risotto looks terrible! Why does that look so bad? Oh, wait. Oh, there's a funny story involved, but I won't share it now. Vanilla breast milk cupcakes with strawberry booby cream frosting. Replace the sugar with an equal volume of breast milk. Breast milk sherbet.

Breast milk ice cream. Oh, you can have some drinks too caribbean milk cooler breast milk coffee chai latte sparkling peaches and cream oh god come on the next section is the recipe for babies

we don't need that no no no and then it's lactation booster. So that was fun. Oh, oh, oh, real quick, real quick. Real quick. I've

heard that breast milk is good for treating a couple of illnesses. Is that true? Oh, are you asking me? Yeah, I am asking you. I am a breast milk expert. Is that true? Oh, are you asking me? Yeah, I am asking you. I am a breast milk expert. Yeah, you sure are. So is there anything that I can treat with breast milk?

Oh, yes. There is baby acne. There is bites and stings. Or burns. Chicken pox, for example. Clogged tear ducts. What? Cold slash flu.

Cold sores slash fever blisters. Congestion. Conjunctivitis slash styes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm very, I'm, no, I'm super interested in this. Cuts slash stripes. You do not stop me. I am sorry. I'm super interested in that. Cradle cap cuts slash stripes. You do not stop me. I am sorry. I'm super interested in that, but

as this was happening, Nutshell found a section called Bathroom Essentials. Oh dear. So Nutshell, can you just read the section that you found just there? Sure, it's short. Bathroom Essentials. Instead of this, cucumber for puffy eyes, makeup remover to clear away makeup, chapstick for dry lips,

contact solution for contact lenses or KY jelly as a sexual lubricant try a bit of breast milk for the same or better effect what what what okay okay

puffy eyes maybe contact solution sexual lubricant Puffy eyes, maybe. Contact solution. Sexual lubricant. Sexual lubricant. Yeah, sexual lubricant. Naturally. At best, your contacts are just going to be cloudy.

Right? I also suggest using breast milk in a neti pot for nasal congestion. Oh, no. What the hell? This is just like literally a person that's running around like, put some breast milk in it. You know how dairy really makes you less phlegmy? Yeah. Yeah.

It's like the put a donk on it. So, yeah. it's like the put a donk on it so yeah so put a nip on it those posts I've been posting in discord are replies from my ophthalmologist friend oh wow that's amazing

she said nope no and then I sent her a link to the doc and she's like what the fuck is wrong with people the F plus what the fuck is wrong with people so Jimmy Franks good news buddy

we're out of the breast milk section gosh you know isn the breast milk section. Oh, fantastic. Yay! Gosh, you know, isn't breast milk just the grossest, you guys? It doesn't get any grosser than that. That was such a fun episode. You know what I learned?

I learned that people... Hang on! I do want to know. I do want to know. I do want to know what you learned. So we're done with that. We're not going to read any more about breast milk. We're not going to read any more about placenta. Oh, good. Nothing else about urine or any sort of- But I'm sure it's something like female because they're so gross.

So we're basically done. We're basically done. We just need to take this last section. Boots, what's this last section called? Oh, well, it's three-letter word. It's called Come. Oh, good. We need a gender

parody. At least it's not poop. This is a gender parody. At least it's not poop. At least it's not poop. That's how I feel about Come. That's the title. So, yeah, the... What's the URL that we're visiting here?

It's cookingwithcom.com. For more info on cookingwithcom.com, check out Lou Reed's. Oh, yeah. For you. Oh, that's a gross episode. Yeah, that's one of the best ones. That is... By the way, I just... you know, he's a friend.

I like, you know, you should listen to it. But the Lou Reed's Cooking With Cum episode is non-consensual cum cooking. Yeah. So, yeah. He'll be at F Plus Live. He will be at F Plus Live.

So there's a bunch of different options I've been given here. There's the sushi roll different options I've been given here There's the sushi roll which I'm going to skip on Because there's a couple of Mixed beverages that look Pretty nice Yeah cool I love more cocktails

Yeah so we're going to start with the gym and tonic Oh no Boo Alright so for this one you're going to need Two ounces of gin Five ounces of tonic water, and a half teaspoon of semen. So first, whisk the semen and gin together in a bowl until completely dissolved. There's so many photos in this section.

Yeah, there's photos of this. You can see this drink that has cum in it. Then pour into a glass filled with ice and top with tonic water. Stir well. The gin certainly Oh, so here's my review of my own drink. The gin certainly masked the taste of the semen in my

drink, but you could still see flecks of white floating around in the glass, which was rather alarming in an otherwise clear cocktail. I can never tell what's like a pro and what's a con in this oh yeah the macho mojito

like if you imagine cum drinks like yeah oh it's a little bit like the Metallica Load album cover but with fresh mint. I hate that that gets to be a thing that Metallica owns at this point.

I mean, it is a Serrano photo, but whatever. Yeah. That sounds great. Boots, I really like an herbal liqueur. Do you have anything with a Galliano? I'd like a nice shot like a nice galliano shot is that possible i don't know what you're oh yeah okay yeah yeah it's a galliano come shot okay um is that one of those fun euphemisms

galliano is an italian herbal liqueur with a distinct yellow color. Despite its unique exotic flavor, it does not overpower the semen at all. Oh, darn! In fact, the mellow, spicy vanilla tones enhance the seminal notes. Oh, no. And by seminal, you mean, like, really important, right?

Or like the Native American tribe. Yeah, the Native American tribe. The Seminole notes. After I had the Galeano cum shot, I was very disappointed that the duck fart did not have an actual duck flatulating into a glass.

Okay, so you're going to need one ounce of Galeano, one ounce of freshly brewed coffee, one to two teaspoons of semen, and one to two teaspoons of whipped cream. So here's the instructions. Mix the two creams together. Gross. Gross.

Before beating them stiff. Well, yeah, how do you think I got one? First of all, anise and whipped cream? I'd like some licorice cream, please. Pour the galliano in a shot glass. Use a spoon to carefully layer the hot coffee on top. Add the semen cream and drink while still hot. Oh, man.

Is there anything, any other recipes or anything else you want to share there? There appears to be an awful lot of jizz in this Macho Mojito picture. Boy, there sure is a lot of... You're welcome for not making that the episode album cover, by the way. Sperm banks worth of... Here's a recipe. It's called semen orange juice. Yeah.

How do you make, how do you make semen orange juice? I'm curious. How do you make semen orange juice? What are the ingredients? I'll give you a hint. They're both freshly squeezed. Okay. both freshly squeezed. Okay, I need to read this text because there's a

term in here that doesn't make any sense for what's happening. This is perhaps the easiest way to start your day right by getting your semen in the morning ejaculating into a glass just after my shower leaves enough time for the semen to melt. Don't talk to me until I've had my semen

in the morning. This is a man that jizzes frozen semen to melt. Don't talk to me until I've had my semen in the morning. This is a man that jizzes frozen semen. Little ice cube shoot now. Oh god, that hurts. Melt before I fill the glass with orange juice. If you don't let it melt, the cool juice will keep the jizzam stuck

to the glass. That would be good or bad? I'm not sure. So you need fresh semen, one ejaculation for each person drinking. The whole thing. No sharesies. No squinting this check, bucko. And a cup of orange juice.

Mix. Drink. and a cup of orange juice mix drink there's a semen double egg semen caesar semen vanilla pudding no no no no no i actually do need you to read the recipe for your semen caesar dressing this is refreshing sure is

you need a fresh se, one ejaculation for each person drinking oh good for when I drink Caesar dressing I think this is like a Bloody Mary actually oh you guys are familiar with Caesars

it's a popular drink in Canada, it's probably in the UK as well it's basically a Bloody Mary, but it uses a Clamato instead of tomato. Oh. And it has a salary stock in it. Anyway, you make a Caesar and you cum in it. The ingredients in the Caesar,

but then what are the instructions? Ejaculate into vodka and allow the semen to melt. A minute should do. Pour into Clamato or tomato juice in a pinch and garnish. Tomato juice. If you must. That's really gonna ruin the drink.

So, F+, what did we learn from any of this? Don't accept food from people that you don't know well. Lots of recipes out there, though. Lots of innovative recipes. I learned that if you have enough milk left over to make all kinds

of crazy crap with it, donate to a milk bank, bitch. Come on! Oh, but you know, that doesn't really work with my lifestyle brand. You know, it's very important to kind of keep my lifestyle... How can she blog recipes about that? Right, exactly.

Like, donated to poor people. Gross. Oh, they need it for their children to live. All those recipes about sneaking peas or broccoli into foods that kids like. This is what happens when they get bored bored they're just left to their own devices gotta keep your eye on those people uh did we did we by the way did we i think that this episode might have um uh been a uh scientific test of like what's the grossest fluid? Can I answer that one?

Yeah, what is it? I think it's cum. I really do. I really think that it's cum. Yeah. I would say that cum is the one that it takes the longest to get over. In the very beginning when there was all of the stuff that was...

I'm still not over it, frankly. But in the beginning, there was the stuff where it was with the vaginal yeast, and by the end of that section, I was kind of done with it. I was like, well, you know, whatever. But every time there was a photo of something covered in jams, it was just newly horrifying.

The vaginal yeast wasn't the problem. The problem was the bowl of something covered in jello. That was it. Newly horrifying. The vaginal yeast wasn't the problem. The problem was the bowl of white, milky, bubbling liquid. Looking at those pictures, knowing that there was cum in that drink was actually revolting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard when you have to put a name to a face.

And if you're looking for something actually revolting, you can come to F Plus Live. And you cannot come there. You know what? Don't come there. Don't come there. Don't go there. But if you do come there, make sure you eat it.

No, don't give him ideas. Jesus Christ. Gotta clean, no, no. You don't give them ideas? Jesus Christ. Gotta clean your plate, mister. There are people starving in Africa. No, that is the wrong demographic, Jimmy Franks. Oh. And our forum is Ball Pit. We might have shirts for sale soon

and some other stuff. We do a lot of stuff. We do a lot of stuff. We do a lot of stuff. So check out some of our stuff. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Yeah, that's

mamasmilknotchaser.com forward slash titillating hyphen trivia forward slash phil hyphen your hyphen foodie hyphen flask forward slash breast hyphen milk hyphen recipes. And use the promo code FPLUS to get 10% off your order. Tell them we sent you.

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