The F Plus - 260: The Eroticism of Barney Gumble

Episode Date: September 4, 2017

The members of The Burp Fetish Forums share one particular prediliction which is (and this may surprise you) they all have a burp fetish. How does this fetish manifest itself, you ask? Do they like women burping or men burping? Burping in public places or burping in private areas? Slow romantic burping or torrid non-con burping? The answer to all of this is yes. They really like burping! This week, The F Plus shall not escape The Pleasure Zone.

Thought you could escape us, Ron? You're going to regret burping in our presence. Harry burped the alphabet into Ron's mouth and Fred and George into Ron's ears. This is so hot. I'd love to see more. hot. I'd love to see more. This is the F Plus podcast. A loud and offensive expelling of terrible things read

with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have BootsRainGear. I slept over at my friend's house last night and her uncle, who's actually not a bad looking guy, came to visit as well. He burped while we were eating pizza her dad also belts a lot but sadly he's pretty unattractive kumquats up i feel like an odd one out even among you guys sometimes why do i obsess about the psychological side of burping and not just the act of it yay it's victor laszlo a lurch that should feel unpleasant, but somehow doesn't.

Nutshell gulag. You blow air into your partner's mouth, and they take in the air to use it for a burp. It is just hot. And Lemon. Elva attempts to speak. It was the best feel in the world. Hey, F-Plus. Hey, Alex. Hello.

Hello. Hi. Yay. Hello. Hey, what's the most erotic thing that you can think of? Being debt-free. Katy Perry. Wow, that is good.

Katy Perry being debt-free? I'm pretty sure Katy Perry is debt-free. Objectivism. Hey, Boots, what's the most erotic part about Ayn Rand? Hey, Boots, what's the most erotic part about Ayn Rand? Like, I probably hear, like, you know, resistance to... I can't even do it. I would guess that Ayn Rand probably has really gnarled feet, if you're into that. Oh, yeah.

Like a turkey vulture. Got a halitosis fetish? Yeah, all of those answers were fine uh but still legitimately incorrect um because the most erotic thing that can possibly happen is burping yep like i ran burping well hopefully hopefully i ran burping? Well, hopefully. Hopefully Ayn Rand burping. I mean, you know, if her free will dictates it. As Kumquat was pointing out before we started recording, it's amazing that we've made it more than 250 episodes of this podcast without actually getting into this topic.

That's true. I mean, how could we not talk about the most erotic thing? Exactly, exactly. this topic that's true i mean how could we not talk about the most erotic thing exactly exactly um so this is a uh document from a while back uh it was given to us by detective tv tropes um and uh this uh document is about burp fetish that's right burp fetish. We are, of course, going to start off in the most appropriate place, which is the Burp Fetish Forums. It is a default PHP BB. Some of the threads in the Burp Fetish Forum include you got announcements, you got rules, you got dating and meetups. You've got TV films and celebrities, bellies and BBW, burping on

command and burping contests Brings me back to summer camp Burping femdom I'd just like to point out that not only are we going to start on the burpfetishforums.com, we're also going to stay and finish there. Well. Huzzah.

I mean, I'm going to finish. We might cut it. Oh, you're right. You're right. We may go somewhere else in the middle. We might go somewhere else. Who knows? Anyway, so this is, we're going to start off right here from a thread on the burp Fetish forums, and

it is a post by FFC1234. That's you, Victor. So, Victor, what is your thread called? Well, this is my thread called, You Know You Have a Burp Fetish When... Yeah, always this. Always this.

Really, this is the very fetishy thing i don't know why like jeff foxworth the appeals to fetishes so often oh just you know just for for context this you know this forum thread is is eight years old so like at this point you know the cultural references like 18 years old so you know you have a burp fetish when... Keep this thread going. I'll give a couple examples. You know you have a burp fetish when you hear a person burp and suddenly you find them more attractive.

Or... Yep, yep. Agreed. Or you know you have a burp fetish when you don't even bother to delete burping-related content off your computer because you know you will use it again soon anyway. Et cetera, et cetera. Addicted to burps. Might as well face it. My name's P-U underscore S-H underscore I-T. My name's pu underscore sh underscore it my name is push it uh okay so when your flatmate's

visiting sister starts blasting unholy mutant belches while drunk out of nowhere she is 10 times sexier than two minutes ago isn't that? Yeah, but mine was more passionate. When you go on a massive goose chase for a large fraction of all the female porn star burps around and collate them. I'm going to Google search

female porn star burps right now just to... I've got binders full of female porn star burps. Oh look, it takes me to burpfetishforums.com. That's weird. When you put tons of thought into how to expanding the belch job niche. Belch job!

And more than anything else, when you hate how you almost never hear a girl burp around you. I'm still Mario. Wow. Oh, I don't like the words there. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for giving me this one, Lemon.

Start reading. Start reading your text right there, Boots. The two trees of Valinor are so gassy. Can we just talk about Middle Earth more? Nope. No, read the text. Okay. I have to. When you watch a Nickelodeon movie, just because you know they would possible add in a burp,

this happened to me with that Jimmy Neutron movie back then. I didn't give a shit about the show, but I watched it solely to see if they would have cartoon girls burping. Go to jail! The very end, his mother gets a burping fit. I've got bullet points. What's your name in a nutshell? I am Phantom, which is short for Phantom Burper or something. I am Phantom, which is short for Phantom Burper or something.

You have considered making a belch-themed video game. Seriously considered creating a distributed search engine to find, aggregate, tag, and share belching media using Fourier analysis. Fourier. Fourier analysis. Is that Fourier or Fourier? Fourier. It sounds like a chocolatier. Spend a great deal of time in a near-empty

stick cam chat room waiting for women to come in and belch. And waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. Created a YouTube shrine for your belching and your favorite belchers. A shrine. Yes. I will not belch.

Belch is the mind killer. Spent good money on audio equipment hoping to make your recorded belching sound better. Better? I wonder what better means. Been turned on by people thinking your belching is disgusting. Wow. And fantasized at length about virtual reality

and androids and what they would mean for your fetish. Burping androids? Yep. That's odd. Oh my god. We don't have flying cars, but if we can have burping robots. Hello, I am a robot. I will burp for you. Burp, burp, burp. My name's gaia phoenix hey uh yeah so you know when you get a jolt from seeing the cute girl next to you in a quiet classroom open her mountain dew. Yeah, bro.

Absolutely. Yeah, totally. Oh my god. Then feel sheer disappointment that she's taking little sips instead of just

downing the thing. Leading to a quick belch. Seriously. It'd be nice if a chick would just chug the hell out of a drink. Instead of taking those little baby sips all the time. Now I know what I hate about women. I knew there was something. Now I know what I hate about women. Thank you for clarifying. I knew there was something.

He refuses to shotgun Mountain Dew. You should come live where I live. Victor? Your Toru rules. Toru rules. Toru rules! Yeah. I am Toru rules.

Toru! When you prefer girl burps to sex. Well, you made your bed, now belch in it. Okay. We don't want to get off on... Alright. No, no. When a hot girl ripped one in the past and you didn't have much of a reaction and you wish you could go back in time and quote,

That was hot, babe. Wow, that is a deathbed regret right there. When you only agree to meet a girl if you know she burps. I got news for you Sparky Everybody burps When you devise up plans to make a girl burp Plans? Plans? Okay so I've got to have Mountain Dew right?

Drink the fucking soda! Is this like a Pee Weeee's Big Adventure sort of thing, where you build a giant Rube Goldberg machine? Well, yeah. No, it's like just a giant game of Mousetrap, where the cage falls down at the end and goes down the slide. I dropped a giant cube of dry ice in her wine. She'll never know.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, that didn't go well. Oops. When you sacrifice sleep by staying up to 4 o'clock a.m. watching burp videos. Yeah. When you do nothing all weekend but watch burp videos. Okay. When your mom says, quote, that girls do not burp in quote so and you are thinking in your head that girls do not burp oh yeah when your mom

says quote that girls do not burp in quote and you are thinking in your head that you know nothing wait that that you know nothing you're thinking that you know nothing. Wait. That you know nothing. You're thinking that you know nothing. Yeah, but that one's not in quotes. I know I have to finish all the time then. See, Mom's always right about things. But, oh, man.

The YouTube videos. When you create an account on Yahoo Answers only to reply to questions about girls burping oh boy you know what thank you Toru Rules thank you

you're making the internet just a little bit more fun for the rest of us driving the Yahoo Answers economy alright hello hello I am sour Pokemon who answers economy. Alright. Hello. I want to know how... Hello, I am Sour Pokemon. I'm Sour Pokemon. You try

and slip stuff into conversations, like imagine if someone had a fetish for like burps or something. How weird is that? Totally not obvious. You put burp in Google Translate.

And search it in different languages. On YouTube or Pornhub. To maximize your findings. Oh, a cosmopolitan educated burp fetish. Oh hey, it's me again. Oh, hey, what's up? I went away for actually like two months and I came back with some more

thoughts on burping. Thank God. Your ideal type has slowly morphed into someone who would stereotypically burp a lot. My type is often dangerous thug guys. I don't... I'm going to pretend like I don't know what you mean, but I know what you mean.

Give me all your money. Marty. Give me all your money. Marty, give me all your money! You edit porn stars and celebrity videos to make them burp. Yep. You... I want to see that.

Frankly, my dear. Couple options. Couple options. One is that you actually CG the face so that the face pelches. Another one is that like, is that like there's porn and then like quick back to porn. These guys must really love Rick and Marty. Oh, god damn it. Yeah, they do.

You take screenshots from burp compilations. Mm-hmm. Sorry. What? You've never been to YouTube before? I'm just surprised they don't have like a part manteau for that oh you're right

burp cops burp-alations no that would be burp competitions at that point oh yeah you're right I like burp-alations and use google reverse image search to find the whole video for maximum

fap ability you're you're masturbating wrong you're bad at masturbating i maximize my fap ability uh next thread we're going to another one here on the burp fetish uh. It is called The Biggest Turnoff a Burper Can Do. Whoa. Come Quatsop, your name is Belching Fetish 101. Obviously. And what do you got to say? Well, that's me, Belching Fetish 101.

I thought this would be a fun topic. Didn't you see how this is fun? It's a fun topic. I don't know if it's fun yet. You'll have to prove it out. I see a lot of turn-ons, but not turn-offs. Okay. List anything that would turn you off, no matter how good the burper.

My biggest turn-offs are spitting, vomiting, smoking. Doesn't matter if there is burping, too. If any of these three things are mixed in, I am not aroused. I said good day, lady. And then Nutshell, your name is Phantom.

Right. Be a man! Oh, I get it. And I collaborate. Winky smiley face. Appropriate use of winking smiley face right there. Got it. And then I come back with, I was honestly being tongue-in-cheek about males. It's highly contextual.

Still, it's funny because what I find sexiest for a woman to do is more typical of males. Guy belches without apology. Nails on a chalkboard. Woman? Ecstasy! Guy lifts his leg on a wooden chair and rips ass. Freaking foul.

Woman? Freaking hot! I have to agree that family doing it is up there as well. My dad would do it all the time and it was awful. He'd always make a huge deal of apologizing too, even though he did it constantly. Quote,

I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be such a pig or quote sorry I'm being such a piggy don't use my sexual button words my mind can't deal with the horror slappy emoticons

my sexual button words you know the things that hold my sexual shirt together right like right before I come button words, you know. The things that hold my sexual shirt together. Right. Like right before I come, I just yell triggered. My name's Glorious Burps. Sucking in air is a huge turn off.

Can you please enumerate these uh these ideas i guess that was one okay one turn off number one okay number two overly skinny guys number three even remotely chubby guys are gross number four forced burps number five i am emetophobic but for some reason i enjoy watching it on youtube emetophobic what it's the fear of strong negative emotions okay no, he meant to say emetophobic. No, it's the fear of using... Instead, he's against emoticons. Yeah, it's the fear of using emojis. Exactly. Oh, yeah, no, he watches the emoji movie.

Number five, farting. Oh, yeah, no. Oh, that was six. Number seven, stuffing. What? Never mind. Number seven, stuffing. What? Never mind. Number eight, curly hair. I only like guys that are very hygienic and wear clothing that makes them look nice.

Skinny jeans and t-shirts. Guys with a face that isn't clear or have unkempt eyebrows. Get out of here, translucent people. Guys with a face that isn't clear or have unkempt eyebrows. So if they're the before picture in a... acne commercial.

I'm just trying to parse if unkempt eyebrows is a yes or a no. I think they needed a comma after eyebrows on a period because the next thing is the other. Oh, there it is. Yeah, yeah. Guys who don't comb their hair! Ew! Guys who don't wash every day! Ew!

Wow. You must be spick and span to belch for me. There's a man burping on my monitor. I would be really turned on, but off frame, he's not wearing skinny jeans, so I'm just the biggest fucking downer. Another one here, a thread started by Pushit, P-U underscore S-H underscore I-T. It's called, does anyone have a burping fetish and is a girl?

Off topic. What? What? Just off topic for the off topic forum i don't know why that's in the off topic forum anyway um um uh so yeah so uh and then uh rose rosie jade maiden uh wrote aren't mid-sentence ones adorable the look on a guy's face after he realizes he's embarrassed himself in front of you is just heartwarming. And then, Victor, your Annabeth smiles. Oh my god, it is!

Rosie Cheeks emoticon. I'm not Frank West. It's fine. Priceless. I love it when a man blushes and excuses himself only to release another even louder or longer belch within the minute. That drives me crazy. Hiccups and hiccurbs can be very cute mid-sentence as well. What was that word?

It's a hiccurb. It's hiccurbs. There's probably a wiki somewhere on this website I will google it If snorting is a thing Then hiccuping is a thing It's gotta be a hiccup and a burp At the same time

The dictionary says When you find yourself burping Right after you hiccup Not nearly as sexy as a belch though Loud and strident or closed mouth and rumbling I love them all my burp does not compromise

and then Boots you're a burp addict I'm burp addict oh it's Boots' sexy lady voice. Yeah. Oh, my God. I won't be ready for this.

Hey. Hey, you guys like to burp? Were you found in the remnant bin behind a Whitest Kids You Know sketch? Oh. I was dusted off and brought right to this podcast. I'm a 23-year-old girl who has a burp fetish. I'm bisexual, so I find both girls and guys who can burp very hot.

I discovered a liking for burping when I was 14, and the boys at school used to burp in class. It wasn't until I was 16 I discovered burping videos on YouTube

and watched them whilst I masturbated. Why is that your sexual awakening? You shouldn't do that. Thank you, Internet. Don't. Why? I'm a real thing that has happened. Listen, you don't understand me correctly. I need to get into the details of this.

Okay. Let's tunnel down. The burps that turn me on the most are fast burps. You know, burping on command. Burp for me. When you inhale air. The burp does not have consent. And let the mouth.

And let the mouth the longer and louder the better I say. Nye. Nye. As for me, I can't burp on command. I've tried to teach myself and watch tutorials. I can't burp. I really wish I could, though. Yeah.

I can only burp if I drink a fizzy beverage. But even then, they aren't impressive. If anything, I'd say farting is my talent. Ha ha ha! How often do you say that in job interviews? It's in my cover letter.

Along with the last half of the sentence. I have severe IBS, so I fart a lot. Like, no joke, it's pretty much constant. Okay. I applied for a job as a crop duster they turned me down just constantly farting and sobbing I wish I could fart

I sound like a motorboat wherever I go she doesn't walk, she's propelled by them should her toes just drag along i've been with my boyfriend for two years and i told him about my burp fetish and how it turns me on so i was really embarrassed but he laughed at me called me a weirdo yet he burps on command for me so i guess i'm lucky in a way now by command do you fart your command at him although i have just joined this forum uh but i don't want to know about it right right i'm

finally proud of my burp fetish burping is so awesome and super sexy sure is so if you guys and girls want to post videos of you burping on command please Please do! So that I can touch myself. I'll rate you out of ten! Because I really don't want to pop for clips for sale. I'm kind of new here. If you guys want to help me with the jerk fodder, that'd be really helpful.

I don't know why the just, uh, Metalopolis shows up a lot in here. Don't know why. And some of the avatars that are like mid-burp screencasts. Just very funny. Alright, next thread here um uh is called the conflict between burping and farting so

hopefully we'll have an answer for you here burp addict the endless war of ages this world ain't big enough for the two of us. I'd still rather watch that in Transformers. So, Kumpquat's up. Oh, yes, hello. Yeah, so what's your name? Oh, oh, my goodness. My name is Silmaril. Okay, there's like nine people on this forum.

That's fine. Yeah, I posted this May 4th in the first age. in the first age. I noticed something interesting a while ago that I wish to share and discuss with everyone. I made a comment a while ago on some story here someone told, Comment a while ago on some story here someone told, and I immediately asked if the girl in the story was also a farter. Assuming, of course, of course,

that most burp fetishists were into farting. Some of you may... That's fighting words, sir. No, some of you may remember, and I'm sorry if I disgusted some of you, but it got me wondering, along with other things I noticed before that little incident, why does it seem, at least to my experience, that those who are into burps may not be into farts totally different totally different you gotta choose you gotta choose but ride or die for expelling air out of your body but but but those who are into farts are totally almost automatically into burps too

what's that oh interesting i told you i noticed something interesting i said that right at the beginning yeah isn't this interesting this is i apologize for not believing you This is exactly the sort of double standard we need to reddit to switch focus to Our burps Our farts Our burps Sometimes fuckers When you fart you are literally

erasing a burp does it oh my god imagine how imagine the tumblr fights about oh my god does it really make a difference in the end Oh my god. Does it really make a difference in the end?

If you like one, why not as well like the other? Is it belching essentially the same thing as farting? Only the other end? Well, yes, but that other end thing is a big difference

I feel like if you can't if you can't distinguish between mouth and butthole yours is a weird lunch that explains why I have all these asparagus in my butt I'm trying not to make yet another naked lunch reference it still gives relief gives the

sexy size can smell too so then why do some like one and not the other I'd like to hear reasons why you specifically are turned on by one or by both.

You're a man who restates your point frequently. I expect itemized lists. Nutshell, what do you got for him? To me, farts only get a chuckle out of me, but I don't think they are sexy or hot. Nor do I get turned on by the smells. Some could smell pretty rank. It would be like getting turned on by sniffing crap, which I'm aware some of the extremos do have poo fetishes.

Extremos, that's hurtful. Oh, wow. Wow. What did an extreme little clown ever do to you? Extremos come out and poop! I can understand how a person can be turned on by farts. It comes out of the area that is, in other words, the pleasure zone. Not far from a woman's sexual area.

Oh, no, that's... Sexual area. Yeah. Oh, no. Hey, nutshell, how's your Sexual area. Yeah. Oh, no. Hey, Nutshell, how's your sexual area feeling right about now? It's sexual area, Jason. Oh, like it's trying to crawl up into my body cavity, honestly. Okay.

You shall not escape the pleasure zone. But for me It just doesn't register as being something sexy Burping Because it's in the pleasure zone Because it's in the pleasure zone No it's because it's near the pleasure zone Burping while the smells

Might not be any better Parentheses stomach acid B, bile food slash food. I do think that this... Yes? What? What? No? No, like...

Okay, no. Victor, Victor. I mean, I know this is not your area of expertise. Victor! Dr. Victor! Tell us! Goddammit, we're on the fucking belch. Dr. Victor, tell us. God damn it, we're on the fucking belch.

But when people burp, bile spews out from their mouths. That's what happens. Is this black bile or yellow bile? Depends on which is an ascendant. God damn it. Which of the humors are we talking about?

Yeah, okay. I do think the sound is sexier. Gotta love the lips, too. Lips are sexy as hell, as is the throat when it contracts during a nice belch. Generally, you get the full face when you hear a belch rip, and you can see if the girl's doing an expression

that's sexy or cute as hell. Then you immediately want to kiss those lips, the gates in which the belch ripped out of. I don't like your use of the word you in that sentence. You! All of you! No, I do not consent. Open your belt gates for me. I love this second person erotica.

Just kidding. And then, Victor, your name is Raina7? Raina7. Burping is like my ultimate turn-on. Farting does nothing for me, which just means I'm indifferent towards it. I'm not turned off unless you try to Dutch oven me. Come here.

Come here. Put your hands on the sheet. I've got something to show you. You've got to work for that shit. Then I'm going to kick some ass. Strictly has a problem with blankets. Or Le Creuset. Then I'm gonna kick some ass. Lol.

But vomit. Ugh. I shudder just thinking about it. I am an emetophobe. So when burping ventures too close to vomit territory, I run far, far away. I run from YouTube.

No! And then, come close, finish this thread up for us, won't you? Oh, hello, it's me again, Silmaril! Hello! Hey, has anyone noticed, though, that there are hardly, if

none at all any stuffing videos that include farts okay stuffing is that shoving things in that's when you force feed them right that's the I think it's gotta be overeating

yeah it's force feeding okay well no it doesn't seem It's force feeding. Okay. Well, no, it doesn't seem to be force feeding. I mean, from my cursory search. It's something where a lot of food goes into somebody's mouth. Via a chocolate hose. If you're interested,

Fattyboy124, he has he has 2.3 thousand subscribers. Wow. And a whole bunch of videos where he does this exact thing. Wow. But his are self-stuffing. Oh, I'm not into that. No.

Oh, okay. Hey, hey, hey. A lot of stuffing videos have belches, but none of them ever have farts. In the entire Stuffer 31 store. Baskin Robbins was really overreaching there. For example, no one farts, but almost everyone belches. Becky LeSabre doesn't fart either.

Oh, no. God damn it. Becky LeSabre, come on. Stop teasing me with your not farting. Yeah, Becky LeSabre. All right. Yeah, Becky LeSabre. Alright, so that section once again documents given to us

uh, fuck. Given to us, oh yes. Once again that document given to us by Detective TV Tropes. Thank you. Thank you, Detective TV Tropes. Yeah, thanks. It's a fun document. Section two is called Burping, Sexuality, and You.

How is this going to be different from the first section? It's different. It's different. Masturbation is my topic, and my name is... One, two, three, four. I thought this would be best to fit in the 18 plus section. I know that people on here are open-minded, so I feel comfortable discussing anything. Basically, this thread is just to reveal secrets about your naughty burping masturbation habits. Don't be shy or judgmental of anyone. Let's face it. Burping makes us do crazy things. And if you're reading this post, 99% chance that you love to pleasure yourself while witnessing some amazing burps.

That's what brings us together. The love of burping. It's great because it's great. It's great. It's great because nowhere else on the Internet or in the world could we discuss these things. It's a brotherhood, man. Without feeling like a freak. Hey, I'm Robbie Boyle.

I'm so into burping guys. Wait. Yeah, that's what that says. Okay. I just throw them over my shoulder and pat them on the back. Otherwise they get cranky. I'm so into burping, guys. I don't have a normal sex life.

I'm a virgin. I just can't conceive of meeting some key who would appease this monstrous desire i have for self-induced burping guys every time i go on a trip i always bring my laptop there's no way i'm going to miss the burp videos and the hot postings here at burp fetish forums the withdrawal would be too great. I missed it. I knew I should have pre-ordered. I need my once a day burp jerk off or I go insane.

Burp jerk off. I like that. I like that a lot. Burp jerk off is my my sock puppet account don't tell anyone i won't i won't tell anyone okay uh nutshell your name is a insane kitty posted this in another thread and it was suggested to me that it qualifies as 18+. Oh, good. Suggested quite firmly, actually. What are you doing? What are you doing right now? How dare you?

Since I told my boyfriend that I have a burping fetish, he burps all the time. I get ridiculously wet basically every time he eats around me, half holding my breath and waiting for his next belch while i rub and jiggle his full stomach he's a big guy six five and three hundred pounds with a really nice fat belly especially when it's all stuffed and bloated if you wanted to email him with your contact for information he'd probably just totally respond if you felt like it as of late he's taken to rating his burps on a 1 to 10 scale and then conferring with me and let me just say there is serious power behind these burps.

I especially appreciate observing the wide variety of types of burps he lets out, and I've accrued a fuck ton of material to masturbate to, but I still fantasize about this one before he even knew I liked them. He was sitting on my bed with his gut hanging out, stuffing his face and sitting on my bed with his gut hanging out,

stuffing his face and sitting on a soda. Sipping on a soda. Sorry, not sitting on a soda. Sipping on a soda. Give Victor a minute to get comfortable. When this massive, deep, long, nasty belch exploded from him like there was no way he could keep it in. He must have seen me involuntarily tense up because he asked if I was mad at him.

Well, furious! Now that's a daily feature of my life. I'd say he burps at least ten times a day in my presence. And it's the hottest thing ever! Smiley emoji. Especially when he burps right in my face. If I'm touching myself, he'll often start to chug beers

and rip huge burps in my face to help me get off. Life is fucking awesome! Oh my god. I'm totally on board with her enthusiasm over this. Like, you're the best person on this forum, for sure. of this forum for sure. This is a post from a different thread, but it's basically the same

general thing. Kumquatsop, your name is Carthage Forever? Yes, hello. My name is Carthage Forever. My fiancé, who is a woman, and I do a lot of the things you guys are imagining. We both share the fetish, and I recently taught her how to swallow air, but I'm much better and can inhale and blast away.

Taught her how it is? Okay. It's especially fun to encourage her to get better and better at burping. I'll be laying with her on the bed and crawl slowly on top of her, asking her to burp for me. And we'll start making out as she swallows air. Oh, no. I'm a little bit of a tease. So if she... Hold on, please keep going.

So if she doesn't do the best burp possible, I gently run my fingers over her pussy and say, Oh, you could do better for me. Please. When my partner. Oh, my God. This super happens. When my partner finally does a big.

I'll slide inside her. And the fun really starts. Wait, why are you ruining this super fun time? You don't actually have sex? That's not part of this. I didn't say her vagina. Oh, okay.

That just leads to more horrifying questions. My pinky's in your nostril Now the fun really starts Burping in each other's ears Pretending if we burp too big We'll get caught It's the burp Gestapo.

Don't let the neighbors hear you burp. They'll know what we're doing. I believe we heard a burp coming from this general vicinity. Watch out! They'll gas us. Oh. God damn it.

That's a bad joke on several levels. She especially loves when I burp the alphabet. One letter per pump. Ha ha. What the fuck is with people burping the alphabet? Oh, that's amazing. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Oh, my God. Come on, keep going. Keep going. I can't do this. Don't. When we get close, we start burping each other's names. Oh, Sailor Moon. My

partner is still nude. Burping words and needs a lot of positive encouragement, which I love to give. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, that was great.

We're so happy together. Victor, what do you got? Victor, what do you got? Why do I have to follow that? You just, you got something, you got some fun medical abnormality thing. Okay. All right. Well, I'm Cool Kid 101, and...

Yeah, you're cool. Number one, one person eats something sweet, the other person eats something sour. All right. Well, I'm Cool Kid 101. Yeah, you're cool. Number one, one person eats something sweet. The other person eats something sour or any other alternating flavor. Oh, God. You burp in your partner's mouth. Make sure they swallow. Oh, no. They make a combination burp with both flavors.

Oh, God. Oh. Nope. Wait till Cool Kid 101 finds out about vaping. Number two. You eat some ingredients and then burp. And your partner has to guess which food you ate

with taste and smell. That is so fucking nasty. Oh, that's so great. That's so great. Oh, yeah. All right. Hey, what's up? I'm a new guy.

What's your name? My name is Sleep Time. Okay. I've always dreamed of having a girl belch on my cock or my mouth. Just like directly on it? Hello, burp!

That is all. Oh, man. Okay. Well, document, once again, Detective Deidre Tropes, thank you. And he has given us some of the good stuff, which means that we've got erotic fan fiction coming up. Which is very exciting.

But before we get to that erotic fan fiction, we need to make a choice. One single important choice. And in a nutshell, I think you're going to make the choice here. Oh important choice. In a nutshell, I think you're going to make the choice here. Oh, God. So, here are your two options. Thread number one is called Belching

While Riding Cowgirl. Jesus Christ. Boring. Please tell me the other one is Belching while riding reverse cowgirl. Wrong thread, asshole! I always wondered what they meant by riding dirty. Oh, no.

All right. Thread number two is called... Thread number two is called thread number two is called Four Women, Men Burping While Giving You Heads. Oh, no! That's no contest. No! Up to you, Nutshell.

Don't act like you're not curious, Nutshell. Oh, God! Alright, the second one. Go ahead. This is your chance to find out without having to Google it. Okay, um, so, just wanted to mention that

the other thread contained a poster by the name of Cuddle Fart. Oh, she likes Cuddle Fart. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Cuddle F. Oh, she likes cuddle fart. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Cuddle fart says, I burp and fart uncontrollably

during sex. I always burp a lot when I'm riding a guy's dick. So, let me just, let me just lead you in here.

So, for women, men burping while giving you head if this happened to me i think my life would probably be complete lol and uh nutshell your name is rosie jade maiden oh goody i've always heard it being called eating pussy rather than giving head however yes i do wish this would happen. Specifically, I fantasize about Channing Tatum.

Of course you do. I'd rather that he do it when he's coming up for air rather than inside of me, because it's like he's saying he's my little toy, blushy emoticon. Is that what he's... I mean, I don't know that that's the meaning. He's saying he's my

little toy, okay? You're right. Yes, Channing Tatum is your little toy. Absolutely. Hey, I'm back here. I'm push it. Ooh, baby, baby. I've advocated it in the past

and I still do now however is there any truth to the rumor that you could get an embolism from gas going into the pussy Victor Victor we've heard the rumor damn it Lemon

is there any truth to the rumor that you can get an embolism from gas going into the pussy an embolism god damn it you know a pussy embolism yeah a simple yes or no will suffice

no A simple yes or no will suffice No That's not to say do it But Jesus Victor said we should do this It's perfectly fine That would put Paid to the idea Pretty fast I'm sad now That would put paid to the idea pretty fast.

I'm sad now. Unless you're okay with him doing it in your clit. Other areas not leading directly inside you instead. Oh, you mean the pleasure zone? Yeah, that's the one. The pleasure zone. Yeah, happy New Year. I posted the previous one on December 31st.

You should pose the question to Yahoo Answers or even better, some online medical device service. You girls deserve an accurate answer about this. That's why you go to Yahoo Answers are even better. Some online medical advice service. You girls deserve an accurate answer about this. Oh, gee, that's why you go to Yahoo Answers. Yeah, so... Oh, God. So, yes, technically, theoretically,

there's such thing as an air embolism, and if you try to blow up the vagina, then you can introduce air into the venous system. Yes. It's... I mean, I've heard advice that I should blow up this pussy. So... Figuratively.

Figuratively. Victor, Victor, I don't want to hear any more from you. I want to hear from Annabeth Smiles. Can you tell to hear from Annabeth Smiles. Can you tell me something that Annabeth Smiles has to say? I think it would be incredibly hot for a man to say excuse me after letting out a huge gassy belch while eating a woman out. I can't even make up my mind on the whole lifting his head

or turning away to belch as opposed to him just ripping one as his lips and tongues pleasuring her. They both sound too amazing. Lol, do I have to choose? Can't we just work in both? Not only does he not move his head away, he doesn't stop eating pussy. That way he doesn't stop eating pussy. I kind of feel like you could just go pick up a drunken frat guy and make most of this happen. Drunken frat guys don't eat pussy.

Don't be silly. They're drunk enough. You talk them into anything, right? Victor, it sounds like you have experience in this. That's great, Victor. We got the burp fan fiction. I'm going to lead you in with a poem. Oh, yay. It's called I Wrote a Poem.

My name is Sketching Something. Your poem's called I Wrote a Poem? My poem's called I Wrote a Poem. Wow. Yes, indeed. Yes. That's really meta. my poem's called I wrote a poem yes indeed

that's really meta by sketching something age 8 there are wives out there who couldn't care less there are wives out there who couldn't care less I think that was the title I think the first one was the title

I think I wrote a poem as a better title, though. Yeah. I just thought you were really good at rhyming. I'm in the distribution. I'm like Atlantic. I got these planes flying over the Atlantic. There are wives out there who couldn't care less. Indulgent girlfriends.

A couple in Chicago with one million to one odd of occurring. I've asked her about it. This is a poem. I'm four lines into it. They do a disgusting thing. Something so beautiful I forget to breathe when I think about it. Something I hope to do before I die. It's a release is all.

A bellow. Blushing cheeks. Biting my lower lip. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I'm hungry. I can feel it in my bones. Coursing through my veins. Tingling to the tips of my fingers. You're having a stroke.

It's so beautiful. I forget to breathe when I think about it thank you so that was basically all of the other posts except instead of a double space after a period they hit enter made a little bit less

that was so coy the only burp references was bellow that was a very only burp references was Bellow. That was a very coy burp poem. Alright, Kumquat's Oh, yes, hello! Two pieces of fanfiction. I think, I don't know

if it's actually fanfiction. Oh, no, it is fanfiction. Okay, yeah. So we've got two pieces of fanfiction. You get to choose which title that we will close on here. Title number one is Night of Ecstasy. Real and fiction, female, explicit.

Title number two is called To Burst Joy's Grape. Wow. What? I don't know. I don't know what it means, but it sounds really gross. The first one says explicit, so I have to choose the first one.

All right. So here we go. So this one is called. Oh, God. Okay. So this one is called Night of Ecstasy, parentheses, real and fiction, comma, female, comma, explicit. It's a bit long, so if you get to a point where you want to tag in somebody else, just shout their name, and they'll take over for you. So here we go!

She laid back, stretching her gorged stomach. Satisfaction and anticipation lit up her face, stuffed to her limit and a little further with greasy heaven. Her partner looked in awe and adoration upon her. He ran his strong but gentle hand across her soft body. She winced in excitement at his touch in the slightest way. That was excitement you heard there. That was excitement. People wince in excitement all the time.

It's a thing that happens. Her stomach was distended, muscles relaxed, and belly proudly resting on her lap. That's what bellies do. They proudly rest. To his touch, her body was warm and alive. He noticed gurgles and bubbling sounds accompanied the movement in her busy stomach.

Pressing down slightly, he slowly massaged her belly, running his hands from her crotch, up and around both sides of her belly button, then sinking in between her breasts. At his touch, her stomach seemed to both resist and thank him. He noticed a subtle, inaudible sigh escape her lips as he worked on soothing her magnificent gut. She noticed a pressure rapidly increasing inside. A slight cringe came across her face as her hand joined his and holding her stomach. He knew gas bubbles were being made in her stomach that needed to come out. Feeling now more than massaging, he ran his hands along the expanding gut, stopping when he found an area tight and firm.

Then he massaged in small circles while pressing down, and eventually the resistance subsided a bit. She opened her sweet lips for a moment before releasing a loud belch. Feeling instant relief as the pressure momentarily lessened. With her eyes resting shut, she relaxed even more and laid back with full trust of her precious belly in his care

as he continued to massage her stomach, working with it to move the gas bubbles so she could continue to belch, being massaged, making her skin tingle with excitement, mirroring the burning desire hidden behind his careful touch. By her partner's careful touch,

that one another bubble was dislodged to suddenly escape up her body with an audible sloshing. Reactively, she gently opened her mouth and released another satisfying belch. She smiled at her contentment and ease. Her stomach muscles flexed briefly beneath his hand

as she released a second, smaller belch. After taking a quick breath, she tightened her stomach once more and forced a small burp to her lips. Seeing her begin to force the gas out, he put one hand on her forehead and ran his fingers back through her thick hair. Once again, she began to relax and snuggled up to him. With his other hand, he playfully ran fingertips between her breasts

and down the length of her warm body. On its way back up, then down again, he began massaging her smooth flesh. Smooth flesh? Smooth flesh? Smooth flesh. The female has the smooth flesh. The flesh of the pleasure zone has acquiesced. All hail the new flesh.

Her head then fell down. Oh god! Catch it! Pull it back on! He picked it up! Pull it back on! He picked it up, screwed it back on. Now it's a zany comedy. She burped a skeleton out. Weekend at Burpee's.

Her head then fell down, laying on his strong arm as if asleep, while his other continued to love her body eventually his hand began to move seemingly on its own up and down the curves of her frame this arm's laying down this arm loves you he noticed her swallow gently then opened her beautiful mouth and a strong belch escaped into his face. Yeah! The corners of her lips formed a slight smile as she laid cozy and content. She looked innocent and angelic. Their bodies seemed one, inseparable and indistinguishable.

Noticing all of the little moments of her bodily functions made him adore her even more they laid there together for a time not asleep but deep in fantasy time seemed not to exist as did the rest of the world beyond their sacred bedroom her stomach full in all its glory, seemed calmer for now.

Slowly and gently, not to suddenly disturb her temperamental belly, she rolled on her side, pulled his arms with her. Now, spooning together, her heart felt warm and fluttery as her back pressed safely against his muscular chest.

Tag. He laid with her awake, listening and feeling to her body as they seemed to synchronize and melt together. Her breathing slowed and eventually became a soft snore. Being careful not to disturb her sweet sleep, he laid as still as possible. One hand lay over hers on the side of her belly, while the other being a pillow for her head. Between her cute snores, she winced audibly a little, like the slightest whine.

He had noticed her stomach had begun gurgling and whine more, so he decided he should resume helping it relieve that pressure. He pressed on her like a bellows. Her stomach seemed to have gotten tighter with pressure below her belly button. His arm began to tire a bit from this, and he began to wonder if he was helping. He put his kilt on. Oh my god, we got to the word crotch. I'm so excited. throughout. This surprised him a bit, as he was expecting her to belch instead, but he was still glad they were making progress. That's a word. To some

strange and unidentifiable goal. Knowing what he had fed her earlier, he knew his work was far from done. Oh no! Oh man. And he dutifully continued... I've got turkey

and Alka-Seltzer! Was it balloon juice? And he dutifully continued his covert belly rubbing. Covert. Covert. Tag! Her butt was so soft and warm, feel of depressed against his crotch made him even more

aroused laying cozy together he surprised himself when he began to look forward to the next between his palm her stomach made strong but infrequent movements. Once more between snores, she whined. He knew that her body would release the next one soon, as he continued to slowly rub her stomach, still careful not to wake her. He noticed that her butt cheeks moved slightly against him as she moved her pelvis back and her stomach forward in preparation. Then, another fart escaped against him, this time much longer and softer. Once again, sleeping soundly throughout, after that, there seemed no way

she could have any more gas left inside of her. Eventually, her snoring picked up, and she seemed completely unresponsive to any movements he would make. Knowing she was deep in sleep, he was less concerned about waking her as he continued working on his stomach. Did he drug

her or something? No, he fed her something. Presumably those 501 granola bars. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, having fun seeing how much he could get away with moving her, he decided to take a risk. Tag. Gently, he made his way away from her to his feet.

Rolling her over onto her back was easy enough. He made his way to his feet? She seemed to go along with it. All the way up. All the way up. He made his own way to his own feet. Yes. He is a self-determined man.

He is Ayn Rand's superman right there rolling her over to her back was easy enough she seemed to go along with it moaning a little until she got comfortable again he then pulled on the bed sheets until she scooted to the edge of the bed legs dangling down kneeling down he ever so gently lifted her legs up, amazed that she was still snoring until they were parallel with his body. Her legs rested over his shoulders at the knee while her butt was raised a little off the bed, compressing her stomach.

Feeling silly at first for the position they were in, it didn't take long before she released another loud fart. He began to grin a little at being able to move her body around in her sleep. She began to move a little in her sleep and stopped snoring, but kept her eyes closed.

Her legs then pulled him inward and on top of her. Her grin began to match his. Oh no. Still bending her back in the same way, he slid inside of her and began pounding her in ecstasy. Penetration is especially deep in this position, and she grabbed the sheets tightly as she moaned in pleasure. Is she still doing this in her sleep, or is she faking it? Yeah, no, no, but she's got a smile on her face.

Okay, so it's not really right. Yeah, but there was a welcoming You've got some nonbulance in my burp fetish. He slowed down a bit, not wanting to climax so soon. As he eased her legs down partly, he noticed her let out a small burp,

seemingly from being shaken up. This only made him harder. She is a bag of milk. She's Canadian? Yeah. You get the bubbles collected in there, you just gotta kind of shake them out. Knowing he wouldn't be able to contain himself much longer, he pressed her legs up as high as he could and bent her back far.

When her knees bent back enough to touch her chest, he felt another strong fart against his balls. This caused him to lose it in orgasm. Right, yeah, I would imagine. He pulled out and covered her in it. He almost apologized for finishing so soon. She really is like a bag of milk. He almost apologized for finishing so soon, but noticed that she seemed glad that he came and began licking it off of herself

with her seven-foot-long prehensile tongue. I was wondering why it was labeled explicit for the first 95% of the story. He pressed her belly, she burped. He pressed her belly again, she farted. He pressed her belly, she burped. F+, what did we learn from this episode?

I'm not quite as jaded as I thought I was because the burping in other people's mouths really grossed me out. Yeah, it's pretty gross. For the most part, these people are alright. Go on. I don't know they're just i don't know they're just like i guess i guess the thing about it is is like it didn't it like a lot of the other fetish stuff involves like like just you know like like like like you know uh like type covertly and

subvertly trying to like to like to like manipulate somebody into doing something, whereas it's not feasible with this. So I didn't get any of that gross feeling like I do in most of the other fetish things. Yeah, you're right. We started out sort of definitely in the creep zone, where there was like, I wish I could tell a girl that I look

a bird, but we moved away from that pretty quickly and then it was like, burp, high five! I have a boner! also i thought it was very interesting that like the one guy who was talking about you know oh it's so great to hear women burp and stuff and then he like casually allowed him that he had like a burping recording studio for himself to burp and like he's living the fucking dream he can produce his own. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He's the Steve Albini of burp fetishes. Actually, probably the Rick Rubin of burp fetishes. You know, what I was a little stricken by is that this forum does not have much jargon. I was excited to learn, like, what other than burp and Belch would show up, but they didn't have anything else. There was just like, I don't know, Fart, I guess? I don't know where to go with this. There was Hiccup, and that was it. There was Hiccup.

I gotta say, I love this, and I love this doc, and it's excellent. My only disappointment, aside from the lack of Harry Potter, is the lack of Burp onomatopoeias. I was expecting much more. That is true! The sneeze people have you guys beat hands down.

There was that. I actually did, on the onomatopoeia tip, while we were in this while we were in the recording i i was googling or i was searching the forum for like pppppp assuming that that would lead me to onomatopoeia and it didn't show up so i don't think it's a failure in search i just think that they don't do that well the the story we didn't do actually has a lot of that so if you want to like you want to come to uh thefpl.us uh check out page for this episode and read the doc. That story is pretty awesome. I like that site. That is a victory in CSS

that site is. Well thanks once again to Detective TV Shrooms for this document. If you want to submit a document, please do although bear in mind we do have at this recording 102 in the hopper so it might make it. It might not.

Who knows? Our forum is Ball Pit. It's great. Sign up. Don't not sign up. And also, like, pay the money. Because hang out with us. It's a good place.

Let's post. Yeah. Bye. Bye. Just shut your mouth.