The F Plus - 262: WikiPlow

Episode Date: September 26, 2017

The website Wikiporno is fun to say. In addition to that, it's a Media Wiki site where, as best as we can figure, three guys lovingly catalog all of the pornography they have seen, and they've seen a lot of a pornography! This week, we start principal photography for Butt F Plus.

Black Invasion! Pretty flowers from the planet Asia arrive in heat as they prepare to invade Earth. Luckily, we have the Black Cock Brigade to stop them. Now everybody, have you heard? If you're in the game, then the stroke's the word. This is the F Plus Podcast. A podcast that other people listen to, I guess? And it's terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight, we have Boots Reingear. Jamie Gillis also co-produced the popular Dirty Debutant series with fellow director and performer Ed Powers,

as well as the Walking Toilet Bowl series of films. Jimmy Franks? Tinker with my stinker. Check, check. Gracie Glam's recent decision to start spreading her nice ass for anal sex with the horny guys in her scenes is certainly a welcome news for many anal-born fans.

Achilles Heeles! Her pussy guy bends his cock in unnatural ways. Suck, suck, flying DP! And Lemon. The move involves pulling the penis out of the vagina and then rubbing the head of the cock vigorously up and down and the pussy hitting her clit.

The results came in super positive. Her pussy felt good and his cock head felt great. Historians still debate today whether the move was initially brainstormed for her pleasure or for his. That's advanced. Really complicated. Hey, F+.

Hey, Lemon. How are you folks doing today? I'm good. Erotic. Erotic. Wow. Put your hands all over my body. Oh, man. Really?

Really? Edit point. I've been having trouble determining whether or not I want to shake my ass or watch myself. Show me what you're working with and I'll tell you which. Okay, that's fair uh so yeah so it is uh currently a uh a changing of the season and that is true whenever you're listening to this because that's what this always is it's a changing of the season so so at this time uh what uh with this changing of the season, how have your habits and pornography changed?

It's the equinox. Time to switch over to my left hand. Thank you. I put away the bountiful pornography of summer and am preparing for the porn harvest ahead of me. It has been many moons since I have walked with a woman. Switch from the cool-down porno to the warm-up porno. There it is. Fantastic.

Well, this is a document provided to us by Shambambamina, and it is a title I enjoy very much, which is the Jamie Gillis Memorial Wiki Porno Documents. Sort of bittersweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamie Gillis... Definitely something Buttman does not remember. Yeah, Jamie Gillis was a pornographer

who died at some point, and then people talked lovingly about him in an episode of the F+, very way back, way, way, way, way back ago um uh but unrelated to that uh there is an episode they never knew anyone who loved asshole as much as that no one loved asshole as much as he did um but unrelated to that um there is uh a site i didn't know that existed um and it is called wiki porno that's wiki porno.org um venerable non-profit yeah exactly

um it's powered by media wiki so that's interesting i wonder if anyone knows what's going on here um but yeah wiki porno um.org is uh it's it wikiporno is an inside job so it's exhaustive there's a lot of pages on wikiporno and they seem to be written by mostly the same three people

we spent the last 45 minutes browsing through them we're gonna spend the next hour so yeah let's let's start off uh we're gonna go here to wiki porno the free porn directory it's like any other wiki that you see except for instead of naruto um it's women who look like naruto so we're gonna start off here um with uh with an actress by the name of uh annette schwartz and uh boots um yeah uh here there's some sections here we got we got annette schwartz and Boots. Yeah. There's some sections here.

We got Annette Schwartz. And then in the little sort of info box, there's interesting facts, awards, filmography, website reviews, external links. But at the top, we've got strengths and weaknesses. Will you tell me about Annette Schwartz's strengths and weaknesses? Sure. Great. Are we rolling a D&D character? 19 charisma.

17 butthole. Nice. 17 buttholes? 17 for her butthole stat. Oh, okay. Nice. Very nice ass. Wait, really? Okay. Yeah. Read it. Nice. Very um nice very nice ass wait really okay yes yeah read it nice very nice ass annette schwartz has very nice ass that schwartz has and DPs are must-sees.

Must-see DP on NBC. That is beautiful. So happy and pleased she looks and sounds between her two pounding studs. A good example of Annette's sex work is her performance with two guys and registered nurse she lets those guys pound her raw in one dp after another and she looks like she enjoys it too while they're at it this is definitely a different writer

yeah what's she i just want what's she known for, she is well known for her blowjob skills. Focusing most notably on the stimulating and sucking of the glands, or head, or glands. Or head. That was a callback. She usually has her male talent's knees buckling with pleasure within minutes. An example of this is in her scene for My Daughter's Fucking Blackzilla 7. I remember that, yeah. Legend has it,

she nearly sucked off co-star Shane Diesel's cock head. Yeah, I heard that one. I also heard that if you drink Sprite and eat Pop Rocks, it'll make your stomach explode. She's well known for her Sprite and Pop Rocks blowjobs. They, for obvious reasons, edit it when it truly gets serious.

But nonetheless, in the remaining years, you can see her getting damn close to it. What? Like, what? It almost came right off. Yeah, it came right off. She sits him down. They got it back into the edit bay and they were like, oh god, blowjob!

An aggressive one! No! I heard that Shane Diesel's penis is insured by $2 million. It would have been fine. She sits him down, gets his cock nice and ready, stares him straight in the eyes. She has big, breathtaking blue eyes, by the way, and does her best impression of a... does her best impression of a vacuum

on the sensitive head of his cock. Wait, does she do an impression of a Roomba? She got him under the couch. That's enough of this. Yeah, so Annette Schwartz has a filmography um it's it's uh you know it's it's pretty long i mean she's been in uh three episodes of manual

ferrera's slutty and sluttier yeah she was in no cum dodging allowed seven part two pussy man's foot festival i feel like that's a brand problem right there. How about When Cock Is Not Enough? Hey, this is confusing. Seaman's Sippers 6, and then Seaman's Sippers 6 Part 2. Well, you know, so Hollywood's been doing this thing now where they really want to milk as much money as they can out of a franchise. So they'll usually split up the, you know. yeah okay i got it my i think my my favorite appearance of hers was when she was in jim powers power bitches these chicks fuck back but anyway uh just uh just real quick uh she's she's been directed by a couple people

is there somebody one of is there any directors that she's had that stand out to you? I'd say maybe William H. Nutsack. That's pretty good. You notice that she's been directed by Chris Cross or Charlie Manson. Not just Charlie Manson, but also Chucky Manson.

As well as Jack the Zipper. And Nato. Also, two separate guys named Mike Quasar. Wasn't Zach Wild a guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne? He sure is. Mm-hmm. Okay, so we're going to move on to another pornography actress. And Jack Check and, uh, JackSharck, I think I'm gonna give you a choice here.

Alrighty. Okay, terrific. Uh, so I've got, uh, three porno actresses, so I'm just gonna give you the names. That's all I'm gonna give you, just three names. Alright. From that information, I would like you to decide, uh, which of these you would like to read, okay? Okay. All right, terrific. So your choices are Bobby Starr, Charlie Chase, or Felicia. I'm going to go with Bobby Starr.

Bobby Starr. Sounds like a hair metal guitar player. She does, she does. Whoa, whoa, Bobby Starr's got a lot of text here. Some people are very passionate about Bobby Starr. Whoa, she's got quite a filmography, too. Okay. So, yeah.

So, Bobby Starr, she's got a biography. She's half Italian, half Hungarian. Evangelical Christian Church. Surprise! But let's go to the strengths and weaknesses, could we? Yeah, absolutely. Great. Alright, so this is in the attractiveness category. Yeah.

Bobby Starr is a tall, sexy girl. Her face is pretty. Her smile for the horny guys is sincere. What about her smile for me? Her tits are well-shaped and What about her smile for me?

Her tits are well-shaped and natural. And her ass, her big sexy ass, is liable to stiffen your cock like a rock and make an ass man out of you. Lobby Star displays real skill when she goes after cocks to make them like rocks with her mouth, deep throat, and hands. What?

She's an alchemist. Every guy's cock she welcomes with a wide open mouth. Right? Yep. Nice. Okay. Sure. Absolutely. And many horny guys coming like flies from every direction at Bobby Star don't

intimidate her. They should. Flies really well known for their ejaculations. Call me Big Cock Fly. And fly jizzers ain't sure. Her mouth and hands become like a blur.

Every guy she grabs, every guy she sucks, and at every guy she smiles to encourage him to fuck. Yeah, good, good, good. Bobby Starr gets the chemistry going with her horny guys during her oral sex on them.

These are my horny guys! And it's no surprise that these horny guys always give her such a good fuck afterwards. Yeah. Bobby Star is pretty good at bringing out the uninhibited stud in every man. And this isn't just a physical skill. Bobby Star mind fucks her men to make uninhibited studs out of them.

Wow, I love Bobby Star now. She sounds really good. She's a goddamn psychic vampire. She's got the physical and the psychological game. She now works for MKUltra. During her fuck with the guys, Bobby Star maintains the positive oral mood of her scene by sucking...

Am I oral positive? No, I got this. Maintains the positive oral mood of her scene by sucking the hard poles coming straight out of her sex holes. Yes! Yes! That's such an erotic

sentence! Whether it's P to M or A to M, Bobby Starr isn't shy to smile at the horny guy and deep throat his cock all the way to his balls i feel like we're in in the part of the dirty dozen where they're a bunch of guys in the smoke-filled pentagon room going through dossiers bobby star isn't shy to smile at the horny guy and deep throat his cock all the way to his balls and when the time

comes to come for Bobby's horny guys at the end of her scene then Bobby Star often welcomes some of their loads inside her mouth and straight down her throat oh that's nice it's a great Bobby Star's pussy though

I want to hear about Bobby Star's pussy but guys it's a great way to star's pussy though i want to hear about bobby star's pussy but guys what it's a great way to keep things clean for the other guys who are yet to come okay good yeah exactly i just i just see if i was left hanging on those other loads i really want to hear about bobby star's pussy can i do that please yeah bobby star understands well every guy's lust after After she sucks every guy fast, every guy's cock she welcomes with open legs deep inside her pussy. And it's a rock-a-bye baby for this pretty lady from the big horny guy on top of her.

Go to sleep! Go to sleep, bitch! Go to sleep! What the fuck does that mean? Bobby's... Bobby's pure pussy rides with rides with the horny guys almost never last long because either her pussy

guy quickly slips his long from her pussy to her ass and becomes the anal guy. Is this an anthropomorphic vagina? I we're just gonna to her ass and becomes the anal guy. Is this a anthropomorphic vagina? We're just gonna... Yeah, it's just her pure pussy. You know, we're just gonna read that one again. Her pussy guy. What the hell, why not?

Because either her pussy guy quickly slips his schlong from her pussy to her ass and becomes the anal guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, her pussy guy is a guy, it's like her valet who's, uh, like a pit crew i am no longer the pussy guy i am now the anal guy hey hey hey you hired me to be a pussy guy i ain't no anal guy you're gonna have to get somebody else for that i'm gonna i'm gonna bring this up with

my union rep yeah or bobby star ends up on top pussy riding her guy's cock and jiggling her sexy ass cheeks at the second horny guy in the room double penetration in this situation is inevitable inevitable for bobby star she has a reputation to uphold as a popular anal queen and bobby's horny guys are only too glad to help her keep it up. Nice. That's nice. That's nice. Once more into the breach, man. Hey, will you tell me about Bobby Starr's gangbang?

Yes, I will absolutely do that. Okay, thank you for doing that. Will you tell me about Bobby Starr's lesbian? Yes, I will absolutely do that. That was so helpful. Thank you so much, Jack. Yeah, no problem. Okay, great. absolutely do that. That was so helpful. Thank you so much, Jack. Yeah, no problem. Okay, great. Let's see here.

Jimmy Franks. Yeah. Okay, man. We're going to talk about Bobby Starr's filmography with Who Could Forget Such Favor as a sperm load of day two. That's good. I like crimes of the cunt. I like face fucking incorporated. I like Crimes of the Cunt. I like Face Fucking Incorporated. I'm a big fan. Face Fucking

Incorporated! Sperm Receptacles 3. I can't believe I took the whole thing. 13. Also, there's a director here named Johnny Darko. Yeah, that's good. There's Digging in the Gapes and Anima Pena.

Ugh. Oh, she was in Load Warriors 2. LA girls love big cocks. Jimmy Franks. So there's many more porn actresses to talk about. I'm just going to give you two choices here.

Okay. All right. So would you like to read about Missy Monroe or Cinnamon Love? Oh, can we find out how Cinnamon Love is spelled? Yeah, absolutely. It's spelled the normal way. S-I-N-N-A-M-O-N. Yeah, absolutely. It's spelled the normal way.

S-I-N-N-A-M-O-N. Cinnamon Love. Well, yeah, I think we gotta go with a little, I like a little spice. So let's do some cinnamon love. All right, Cinnamon Love. Great. She is a Capricorn.

Born in 1973. She's got a clit piercing. And she has a tattoo of Japanese characters. Yay! Like Naruto? Yeah, like Naruto. So tell me about Cinnamon Love's strengths and weaknesses, please. Okay.

Cinnamon Love has... I read ahead and I saw the words, asses of face destruction wow wow uh cinnamon love has a great looking ass big full round wide her cowgirl rides with the guys are a pleasure to watch and cinema's best anal film is probably White Up That Black Ass. White Up That Black Ass. Oh, I get it.

Okay, I get it. Yep. Big Tom Byron has a field day between those nice ass cheeks of hers in this film. Cinnamon Mounds and Pounds, Tom Byron and a cowgirl pussy ride. Nice ass she certainly has. But she is a little too fast for him. He moans, grabs Cinnamon's ass, and digs his fingers inside her asshole, which slows her down a little. I would imagine.

The use of the word dig in here is very, very unpleasant. That's the unpleasant thing, Boots. Yes. He lost his wedding ring in there. My wife's gonna kill me. A premature ejaculation Tom Byron doesn't want to have with this pretty lady.

Tom Byron eventually regains control of the situation in a doggy anal with cinnamon. Congratulations, Tom Byron. You know, that's that sort of professionalism. That's why he brought you onto the set. Slow at first. Many insertions. Full sentence.

So many insertions. So many insertions. Does this sound like a wrestling match to anybody else? It's play by play. Slow at first. Many insertions, Cinnamon takes it well all the way to his balls, and he starts pounding away

between those nice-ass cheeks of hers for all he's worth! RVD! RVD! I just can't believe he's that deep in her ass. He's going all the way. Cinnamon orgasms. But apparently one time isn't enough for this pretty lady. She hops on top of Tom Byron, a reverse cowgirl.

His big cock disappears inside her asshole and pound him good with her good-looking ass. Cinnamon certainly does. Cinnamon's reverse cowgirl anal pounding is out of control, and she risks getting an anal cream pie from her guy. Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot believe what I'm seeing right now. But wait, wait. But Tom Byron manages to hang on to his cum. Tom Byron.

Cinnamon orgasms and spins around for a cowgirl anal ride on Tom Byron. She is insatiable. Nice view of her ass. Finally, Cinnamon gets tired. She lies on her back and spreads her legs for Tom Byron in the missionary position. He finds Cinnamon's asshole with his cock, and it's missionary anal fur. About her ass, he certainly does for all he is worth. Now, he is the one who is out of control inside the nice lady's ass.

Tom suddenly pulls out and shoots his cum all the way across the full length of Cinnamon's body. Fantastic. That was a pretty good description, but I'm sad that I just didn't know what was going on with the horny guys. She was in Seymour Butz's Tea is for Tushy. I really liked her in The Come Brothers 3. The boys go to traffic school. Starring the fat boys, I assume. starring the fat boys i assume i i really like to ruin swallow swallowing sluts with big ass butts or big ass butts uh we're gonna move on from the uh female porn star section uh to the male

porn star section um uh sham bam bam and i once again put together this document he leads into this section by saying for some strange reason the pages on men are a lot less funny but so just know we're not going to read it but just know that Dustin Diamond is in here, Dustin Diamond of course Screech, saved by the bell

he's in here so that's nice but I just want to read very briefly, I want to read two entries right here. Ready? Yeah. These are two different entries. John Valjean. Black. Not to be confused

with the actor John Valjean. White. John Valjean. White. Not to be confused with the African-American actor-director, John Valjean. White. Not to be confused with the African-American actor-director John Valjean. Black. The white one's doing much better for himself, by the way.

Yeah. Good for him. Yeah, I guess. But yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about... I think I want to talk to you about Johnny Sins, if I could. Yeah. Johnny Sins is

American porn star, Johnny Sins, six foot tall, blue-eyed man mountain with a massive penis and more than 150 films to his name. He's worked with some of the most beautiful women in the business. Johnny Sins has been banging away in Asian, anal, all-sex, gonzo, milf, fetish, gangbang, youth, and squirting scenes since 2006 for Top Studios, a bunch of studios.

He has a very serious routine before each shoot to make sure that he looks and performs to his full potential. This involves regular workouts and healthy eating. Here's some strengths and weaknesses. Johnny Sins is a major stud from head to toe. Is that a strength or a weakness? I can't tell.

Johnny Sins did not write this. His masculine face and incredibly awe-inspiring defined body are all amazing. It doesn't matter if you're looking at his six-pack abs, stunning chest, powerful shoulder. By the way, this guy's a straight porn actor. This isn't a gay porn actor we're talking about, just so you know. Powerful shoulders, sculled to the back, rugged arms, brawny legs are tight, but Johnny is obviously an ideal blend of desire and athleticism. But his incredible qualities don't stop with his ripped, smooth bod, handsome face, and sensuality ellipsis.

Sensuality ellipsis. When he drops his pants, he shows a disproportionately large schlong that many would be envious of. Johnny's dick will blow your mind and make you fall to your knees, mouth wide open my god Johnny's dick sounds like laser Floyd at the planetarium

hey hey Achilles would you like to would you please tell me what Lisa Ann thinks about Johnny Sins her thing Johnny Sins is the hottest thing I have ever laid eyes, hands, mouth, and my body on.

I want more all the time. He is the best ever. Mmm, that's nice. Boots Rangier? India Summer has something else to add. Hi! Yes! Johnny is really hot and a great performer he is really nice and down to

earth also what a cock what a bod very what a cock it was a hot scene for us i want some more more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Achilles... Just like the people that starred in Blondes Have More Squirt. You wanted more. Oh, good. Headcase 2, get it? Ha ha, ha ha. Stuffing One Muffins 8.

Yeah, so... Do you think that's literal muffins? Yeah, I think it is literal muffins He was in My Place A Space for Whores 3, 4, and 5 He was in 4 of the movies In the 10 man cum slam series

Memoirs of a gusher Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Congratulations that is worthy of Jerking.online Congratulations. That is worthy of jerking.online. Thank you. Barely 1834.

This is a movie called Work It, Work It, Get It, Get It. Oh, I like that. Honey, we blew up your pussy. Hey, I didn't write it. Fuck for dollars. That is a concise title. Fuck for dollars. All right. Kelly's. That is a concise title. Fuck for dollars. Alright, um, uh, Killies? Yes?

Alright, time for you to pick your male sex actor. Oh boy. You can pick Peter North, Nick Manning, or Rock? I think I have to go with Rock. Yeah, that's fine. That makes sense. I understand why you want to pick Rock. But just so you know, Nick Manning, here's an interesting fact about Nick Manning.

His catchphrase is, ah, dropping fucking loads! That's also a callback in this. Well, I just picked rock. Nothing ever beats rock. Alright, yeah, so always bet on rock.

Nick Manning's real tight with Chuggo. Ah, dropping fucking loads! Alright, so tell me about Rock's strengths and weaknesses, please. Sure, I'd love to. Rock the Icon's biggest strength is that he seems genuinely interested in getting his female partners off. Oh, that's... I don't understand that. What a nice boy.

Yeah. Rock is one of the very, very few that will kick off a scene with an intense and extended oral on the woman, often to her pleasant surprise if she's never worked with him before. Okay, but I don't know... Okay, yeah, I mean, sure.

Look, he's a real gentleman Okay It is often a clinic on how to warm up your partner Wow, this is sex ed now Thanks, Rock Pull up a chair A skill that the vast majority of porn studs Show no interest in learning And sadly

Too many fans also do not appreciate. The writer of this wiki's super good at it, though. I've been to his seminars on best practices. They're very thorough. What did you write

in the paperwork when your work asked you where you were going? IBM. No half-hearted tip of the tongue, Bull. This brother dives in the deep end with his whole face and it often includes generous analingus

on the woman. Again, usually to her surprise and delight. If that's not enough he is spontaneously verbal giving her compliments without sounding stale or corny just the right dirty talk also adds immeasurably to the porn babe's sense of fun it lowers her guard about this job she has to do. If it wasn't enough, the rock serves her with a flattering dose of oral. Okay. What you got? He is also an able cocksmith.

Behind every able coxman is an equally able coxsmith. Oh, my coxman's here. And throws wood with endless energy. Providing length. It's like Jim Duggan. It's like one of those lumberjack competitions.

Anyway. Also, handling three, count them, three of the hottest angels in porn, Cassidy Clay, Pleasure Bunny, and the excruciatingly fine Alicia Tyler, WCP's

Triple Booty Doody. This is just wrestling. This doesn't really sound like wrestling Yeah This one took an almost super human effort And Alicia Tyler had a good hard nut Toward the end You can't fake this Can't teach this

The chemistry in that scene was a force of nature All it's own Yeah the chemistry in that scene was a force of nature all its own. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're definitely like his Jimmy Hart. Rock needs to give Teach a clinic to the

lethargic, selfish robots that pass through so many of the swordsmen in the industry. The swordsmen! Also, check out the excellent roleplay and heat in this three-way with Bella Moretti and Mackenzie Sweet in WCP's

Office Freaks 4. Really, you can just check out the entire line of WCP's high-quality pornography for you and your family. Can you tell me any interesting facts about Rock?

Yeah. Here we go. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's very interesting. He's been in As Adventurous Safadas the Tharsim. I'm not sure what that is. Can't nobody

suck a dick like me. Read the very last... No, don't do that. What? You mean Yo Dog, Wife Got Jungle Fever? No. Also, Custom Rims. Which is actually really good,

the more I think about it. It is actually pretty good. What would snow bottoms mean? I think you know what that means. I think it might just be white girls. Oh. But Rock has been directed by Wesley Pipes. Also, he said Dixon. Just Robin Pimpin

Just Robin Pimpin And Black Spielberg Both of those words are spelled horribly. They don't want to get sued. Of course, Jamie Gillis himself has an entry in the wiki porno, but I won't read it because I think we'll all be tearing up. So instead, we're going to move on to the sex education section. Oh, good. Finally, the educational part of the F+.

Is Rock teaching this part? It exists. It exists. Okay. So there's a section called... Oh, wait. Where was it? I went in through...

I started at Handjob. I don't know how i got here um but sham bam bam and i got here as well and um there's a section um where there's some helpful guides on wikiporno.org about how to perform sexual acts um uh butch ring gear uh you know it's uh you know we we want to, you know, I've learned something from The Rock. I've taken some of his lessons and I've internalized them. I think we should teach people who listen to this podcast.

We all strive to be a better coxswain. The Rock for Rock. Just trying to be out here being the best coxswain I can. Exactly. So, I think we should teach people how to bring pleasure to women so so uh would you like to read how to eat a girl out or how to finger a girl okay i think i think we learned uh like the full details of how to eat a girl out during oh you're right that was yeah

plus live five jimmy frank's uh you should go back and if you haven't heard that you should go back there um if you're like if you're like boy i sure would like tips on cunnilingus but only if you Five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five can just hit that like and subscribe button. Oh, sorry. Alright. Yeah, so I know how to do it. Okay, good. I'm glad you know where to go to. Yeah, I know how to do this. I know how to finger a girl. Yep.

I'm very surprised by the first sentence. Performance anxiety all of a sudden. Oh, the difference a finger can make. Oh, the place you'll fuck. Be it at the start of a relationship or when you don't have the time or ability to do something else. There's nothing left to do.

You will often find yourself in a position where you will need to finger your lady. This can be both fun and arousing if done right. It can also be exhausting and frustrating if done wrong. This is the black and white part of the infomercial. Throw away all this stuff. There's got to be a better way. Nothing is worse than looking at your woman,

expecting to see looks of ecstasy and pleasure, and instead seeing one of boredom. So crack your knuckles, loosen your fingers, trim your nails, that's in italics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And get ready, because we're about to dive in. Okay, can we skip to the men of the bush section? Sure, but this is under the heading of Roadmap to Your Girl.

You'll be a little bothered that you created a roadmap there. More of a triptych. Oh, God. Fucking these titles. Men of the Bush. The first thing that you may or may not notice, depending on whether your lady of choice shaves or not, is her pubic hair.

This is also known as her bush. Her mustache. Some girls trim it. Some girls shave it. Some girls do nothing at all. More examples, please. Some girls shave it. Some girls do nothing at all. More examples, please. And then that continues. If you have some Native American blood running through your veins

and insist on using every part of the animal, Oh, boy. Try rubbing your bush a little. Why, though? Why, though? These are really good tips. Pet it like it was a dog. Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl? The next line tips. Pet it like it was a dog. Who's a good girl?

Who's a good girl? The next line is pet it like it was a dog, Lemon. What the fuck? That's my joke, you asshole. Using light pressure. This is a good time to compliment her vagina.

Don't compliment her on her vagina. She hasn't done anything. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Sorry. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. She hasn't done anything. Make her feel comfortable about the whole thing. If she is an old pro, then this step is probably not necessary. But if she's inexperienced, young, insecure, etc., then this will help ease whatever anxiety she has before you get to work.

This is a small step, but one that is fairly important because a nervous girl is one that will take longer to orgasm, and that translates into a cramped and. Hey, Boots, can we just try a little improv exercise? Because he says this is a good time to compliment her vagina. Okay. Not compliment her on her vagina, but compliment her vagina. I want to hear in like three sentences or less how you would compliment vagina. Pretend Jimmy Franks is her vagina, but compliment her vagina. I want to hear in like three sentences or less

how you would compliment a vagina. Pretend Jimmy Franks is her vagina and compliment him. You're looking very moist today. I noticed you maybe perhaps got a little bit of a haircut.

Jimmy Franks, don't laugh. It kills the mood. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. Maybe perhaps got a little bit of a haircut. Jimmy Franks, don't laugh. It kills the mood. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. This is our anniversary and we want to make it special.

Would you like a sip of my beer? And see. So, yeah. and see so yeah so this roadmap your girl section goes on for a while but we do eventually find the clitoris so congratulations us Dr. Clitoris I presume is the heading

not my joke it sure is I saved the most important part of the vagina for last yeah yeah yeah we got there anyway so uh will you skip to uh turn on like turn her on like a television please great yep all right so yeah turn her on like a television all right so now you know all about a woman's vagina. You know where her clit is. You know how to trim the bush, and you have a pretty good idea which set of lips I'm talking about when I make jokes about them.

Oh, boy. Good. Well, this knowledge is very important to have. It is in no way all you need to know. Now it's time. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Did they give, like, an editorial on how to fucking trim a woman's time Hang on a second, hang on a second. Did they give like an editorial on how

to fucking trim a woman's pubic hair? No, they didn't. I looked around. They did not. Okay. You just know that. You came in knowing that. I was like, I don't think that they should include that. It's supposed to be like a clever turn of phrase that makes no sense.

Great. How to figure it out. First, Alright, honey, I'm gonna, you know, take some metal turn of phrase that makes no sense. Great. Had a finger going first. All right, honey, I'm going to take some metal implements and have them here. We got to get rid of all this. He had a whole part written, but he couldn't come up with a stupid title for that section, so he scrapped the whole thing.

So, a couple paragraphs down, there's a section about bras, or there's a bit about bras. Would you just talk about that for just a sec? In that turnaround, like a television area. If you were in a location where you can take her shirt off, then do so. Good.

Good. Don't spend too much time getting her bra off, either. There is no point in just taking off the shirt and leaving the bra. If you can't expose her breast in any way, then just continue for another minute or two with the grouping and kissing. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I don't know how to do this. This thing just stays in here, doesn't it? I would take off your shirt, but like, what's the fucking point? Also, it's the fucking point? Also, it's weird that you only have one. If you can expose her breast.

Anyway. Yeah. Oh, be it by removing her shirt or just by pulling her shirt up high enough. Rub her bare breast for another minute. Time that shit. Use an egg timer. If she is moaning sufficiently... We lost Jack Chick on that one. Bring out your clipboard and give it a long and slow nod.

No, those moans aren't quite to spec here. We're going to have to go for another minute of breast massage. Hey, Jerry, we're just right have to go for another minute of breast massage. Hey, Jerry, we're just right on the line with this moaning. Can you get in here and give me a second opinion? Start sucking on one of her nipples for a minute or two.

By this point, she should be fairly turned on. Just to be safe, and because it's part of the natural progression of your fairly turned on. Just be safe, and be... Oh, sorry. Just to be safe, and because it's part of the natural progression of your hand, place your hand between her legs and softly rub against where her vagina would be.

What? Are we practicing this? I'm a dummy. Did I miss that part? Yeah, it's super turned on. Body pillow. Bill, listen, I was there with her last night. was gonna compliment her vagina but it was gone damn you carmen san diego uh yeah you will feel the pelvic bone which is what you should push against. Rub your hand up and down with respect to her body, i.e. rub towards her belly button.

And don't apply too much pressure, but apply more than you normally would to make sure that she feels it. Continue doing this for another minute or two, regardless of how loud she is moaning. I'm going to keep... No, you shut up! I'm going to keep doing this! I minute or two, regardless of how loud she is moaning. I'm gonna keep... No, you shut up! I'm gonna keep doing this! I don't even care! You know, I feel like I missed the section where they said, under no circumstances should you communicate with the girl

to determine what she likes. Nope. Why would you bother? You've read a wiki, man. That's a fair point. Got this covered. I know more than you frankly when you feel confident that she is good and turd on go ahead and take her pants and panties off

or slip her hand down her pants or up her skirt all depending on what your situation is hopefully you'll be greeted by wetlands which make the Everglades look more like the Mojave Desert. Go to a doctor. Wiki how to write

a sex metaphor. With pictures. Try to avoid the alligators. So this goes on for a long time. We're like a third of the way through this article. This goes on for a long time. We're like a third of the way through this article. Yeah, so this goes on for a long time, but there's a time to play section.

We just read the headlines from there, please? Sure. It starts with, it's nice outside, followed by, don't be in a rush. Okay. Settle down and be consistent. Did someone order seconds? Journey into the cave of wonders.

And then start slow. Faster. Finish her. Brutality. It's all about the G. And multiple fingers. It's all about the G? It's all about the G and multiple fingers it's all about the G it's all about the G

it's all about the G you're talking about G you're talking about fingering a girl and then you're saying it's all about the G wrong you're bad at that. I don't know.

Lemon, I didn't see you writing a fucking article on wiki porno. I was about to point out, you can edit this right now if you want. Lemon, are you even a journeyman coxman yet? Come on. You gotta put me hours. Nobody will provide an apprenticeship for me.

So yeah, so there's other sections here. We have how to give a facial, which seems I don't know. I feel like I mean, I don't want to belittle anybody, but I feel like it's probably pretty easy. Come in the general proximity of there.

It's like an article with one big word that says consent. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure that's the first part of that article, but it's absolutely going to be included. I'll say control F. Oh, weird. It's not there. You must not know how to spell that word, I guess.

Ooh. That last section bummed me out. There's also how to spell that word, I guess. Ooh. Ooh, that last section bummed me out. There's also How to Be a Pimp. That bums me out even more. But instead of that, Achilles Heeles,

I would like you to tell me about the sexual practice known as sex fight. Yeah, you know, um... Well, gonna need a beer for this one. See you in a minute! So I've really only gotten to the, like,

we just got to this this week in my apprenticeship, so I'll try to give you... I got some good notes. Congratulations. I take good notes, though. Here we go. Sex fight. A sex fight is a voluntary erotic physical competition

involving at least one woman and leading to one or more orgasms. It is normally written... Oh, good. It is normally written as a single word, i.e., sex fight, not sex fight. There are several variations, but the most common version involves forcing the opponent to orgasm against their will. In real life, sex fights are quite rare. There are four more common

in erotic short stories available primarily on the internet. Wait, you had an ability to merchandise right there and you didn't take it. I'm a not-for-profit coxswain.

Okay. You wouldn't want to dilute your statement by taking money yeah as with much fetish material sex fight material has an extremely limited audience you're the reader

this is a thing that happens in real life god damn it Achilles Heeles tell me about sex happens in real life. God damn it, Achilles Heelys, tell me about sex fights in real life. Sure. You've got alternative dispute resolution. What? In real life, it is quite rare that two women will decide to settle things

between them by a sex fight. What do you mean by rare? Yeah. Reasons they might do so would be that one, they want to sexually overpower the other woman. That would be a reason, yeah. Two, they want to find out

who the better woman is. Mm-hmm. This is very rare. That said, meaning to find the better lover. Or three, because they decide to have that kind of fight over a man or another woman.

That's a good reason. That's a real good reason. I believe they mean a horny guys. Yeah. How can the horny guys decide? Uh, for, over something they both want very much, in reality, those cases mostly exist in sex fight videos and sex fight

stories rather than in real life. They are quite popular men's fantasy. I thought it wasn't popular. Okay. You said it was, you said this is real life, you said sex fights in real life is your headline. Yeah, well, they're a real life fantasy. Oh, okay. However, rare does not mean they do not exist in real life at all.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Will you tell me about sex game hyphen friendly competition? Sure, yeah. Thank you. Uh, sure, yeah. Um... Thank you. Uh-huh. Uh, the more common kind of sex fight in real life is the competitive trib, or friendly

sex fight. In this case, a sex fight is nothing more than a sexual game between two lovers to enjoy some wilder moments together and to raise their excitement because of the heat of their supposed contest. There is nothing to be settled between them. They are simply playing a role-playing game in which they argue

about something and they want to settle it by a sex fight. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. This kind of sex fight does exist in real life. Not as much as other more popular sexual games. Yet these ideas have started to spread lately. Okay?

And, but much more than a sex fight after a real dispute or a rivalry. As happens in every sexual game, a sex fight is not for all. Not every woman or man is a sex fighter. But I am. Achilles, tell me about erotic wrestling. Okay. Thank you. This is the most common sex fight forms.

Two women wrestle naked or in bikinis or in bras and panties or in bras and pantyhose. Often they wear stockings and garter belts. The holds generally involve wrestling around rather than either formal amateur or pro wrestling. Well, it depends on what Dead or Alive DLC you bought. Yeah. Will you give me aer Comes First, please? Sure. Loser Comes First. Whoever comes first loses.

Wait, that's good enough? That's good enough? What about two out of three? I thought that was... Okay. AvidMike at ChickFight.com started this. Thanks, AvidMike! His original videos were Loser Comes First.

Of course, a commercial video in his price range means it'd be at least an hour, so if one opponent orgasms after 20 minutes, they continue to have a saleable product. Remind me to stop buying board games on the Game Crafter, guys. Go over to chickfight.com. Oh, I'm actually on chickfight.com. The tit fight champion is Amber. She's got a record of 14, 10, and 3.

I don't know what a draw is on chickfight.com, but that's fine. Simultaneous orgasm. Oh, I see. I see. That answer came fast. What about, uh, what about trib only? Trib only? Well, some women prefer tribidism, because it can be very erotic and stimulating, so they limit the fight to tribidism.

Wait, so they just fight pussy first? You have to get a running start, but, uh... Tuck the hips! Pussy first? You have to get a running start, but... Tuck the hips! I mean... Pussy blow! Pussy blow! Upper cunt! Upper cunt!

I mean, it's a... Oh, it took me a sec. I'm surprised you don't remember the Veronica vs. Alexis at chickfight.com we all remember that Alexis deliberately chose tributism because in her previous sex fight where she won 2-0

tributism was the main thing that turned her on what about what about before actually Okay. What about, what about, what about, what about, before, actually, the submission sex fight champion is Amber. She has a record of one and zero, so that's not quite a champion, but anyway. What about go at it mechanically? Sure, go at it mechanically.

sometimes two women in a video will simply get into a scissors trip position and just mechanically rub each other until one of them comes with no attempt to seduce the other one no attempt to change positions etc ugh that's the worst type of real

sex fight at least it's real though yeah wow there's a bunch At least it's real, though. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, there's a bunch more. It's all very real. Yeah. But, uh... Boots?

Oh, yes. What did you just find there? Oh, I just found the wiki porno article for pussy that that must be very informative i'm gonna read the entire thing oh my god okay uh what what's our time stamp okay well fuck it i guess yeah read the whole thing when you have any inquiries relating to exactly where along the best way to utilize fuck, you'll be able to email us with the page. Done. Yay!

Yay! and fuck it's for whatever reason a link to 18 upshop.com it sure is oh man which isn't a thing um uh so there's uh so that was the that was the sex education section there's reviews of porno sites such as lolpussies lolpussy is a blog that created adult crazy alternatives to the famous lolcats just skip by all that shit

that's what we need fun isn't it check check we're now moving into the blurb section for the porno titles themselves. Sure. Okay, so I'm going to give you just a couple options here. I'm going to give you a couple options.

I think you're going to like them. You're going to like these kind of choices. Okay, so would you like to read The Adventures of Asshole Annie... The Adventures of Asshole Annie. The Adventures of Asshole Andy Armageddon. Come Eating with Brad Slater.

Oh my god. A Food Network original. Or Jiggly Queens. Oh my god, all of those are amazing. They are good mmm fucking come eating with Jack Slater

okay Brad Brad Slater Slater was was the last action hero right so yeah just tell me about come eating with Brad Slater please Brad Slater, please.

Brad Slater just loves a nice stiff drink of cum. Actually, it's the cock he likes that's stiff. The cum he prefers to be warm and gooey, wet and chewy. Boy, does he like to eat it up! Chewy! Chewy! You know what, Jack?

You read that so good, I think you deserve another one. Read me Jiggly Queens, please. All righty. Sounds good. It's a parade of Double D and larger boobies as these titanic tomato temperatishes bounce all over the screen and on top of their men's dongers. This is the most infantile description I could possibly imagine.

Dongers. So hot. Jack Chick, tell me about manhole. Alrighty. What do you find in the manhole? Wall-to-wall raunchy man sex. And not much else.

Legend has it there's an abandoned factory on the edge of town where men go for the raunchiest man sex imaginable. Wow, I can't even imagine it. Um, hey, Jack Chick. Yeah? I just gave one. Oh, okay, read the one that boosted. Oh, you guys want some New Wave Hookers 3, huh?

Yeah, we do. Never trust your lawyer. That's the lesson to be learned in New Wave Hookers number 3. When Frank takes some friendly advice from his attorney, he ends up losing his wife to prostitute training center called the Deep House. Oh, okay.

Not only that, he, he also loses his mind. Wow. Wow. Uh, and then, uh, read the one that I posted. Oh,

good. Ready? Well, this here is a piss in boots. It's an oink video production. If you thought what a pisser was nasty wait until you see piss in boots we got together some of the biggest piss pigs we could find for this video a video is capitalized by the way you've seen some of these hot men before

some are new one is even a bisexual sex freak. And then the one that Achilles did. Oh, you mean we be humping hippos? Yeah! We be humping hippos. Sweet, chubby, dark dames spread cellulite for some bumping and grinding. Giving a lot of big fun and wild, raunchy sex pleasures.

Wild, raunchy sex pleasures. Wild, raunchy sex pleasures. Wild, raunchy sex pleasures. Wonderful. Check, check. How is your Rod Serling? Terrible. All right, Jimmy Franks.

Jimmy Franks. Yep, yep, yep. Hang on. Subm, Jimmy Franks. Jimmy Franks. Yep, yep, yep. Hang on. Submitted for your approval, robust, recklessly rammed cum receptacles reveling in delight as they satiate their desires for some serious sphincter stretching. And after all, what could be more special

than to see beautiful super sexy sluts getting Roman with romantic rectal reaming. Romantic! Yay! That's so wonderful! Boots just posted two more for you, Jack Chick.

Are you here talking about Gripping Cram Johnson's arch enemies? I guess, I guess so It's like the Hatfields and McCoys and Grip and Cram Johnson For years, polite society has been dictating the way foot sex should be enjoyed Well, fuck polite society Oh, it's like that Apple commercial

Foot fucking is dirty, it's unashamed and uninhibited And now, it's like that Apple commercial. Foot fucking is dirty. It's unashamed and uninhibited. And now it's in your hands. Thanks, Cram and Grip. And if you liked Cram and Grip's Arch Enemies, you'll love Grip and Cram Johnson's Arch Enemies 2.

Let's face it. As far as cum receptacles go vaginas and asshole are gross and complicated there's got to be a better way you like the kind of sex that won't get shit stains on the seats or require you to visit an abortion clinic three days later. Wow. How do you think that works? Abortion clinic three days later? Yeah. That's a little early, man. He's only ever fucked feet.

He doesn't know how the others got done. I mean, when your feet ejaculate inside someone's pussy, who knows what's going to happen? He's just going to make a donation. Oh, what was the... Oh, yes. Satan's Whore. Sorry, just one second.

Yes. It is directed by Gassman. Directed by Gassman. And Satan's Whore, please. Gassman. Gassman. On the sixth day of the sixth month of 1966, the secret satanic cult held their last ever black mass.

Not as a means to raise the devil, but to create the perfect creature known as Satan's whore. To practice this highly dangerous rite, they followed the six steps to whoredom, a guide to demonic sexual practices handed down through the ages and hidden in an ancient text to be passed between lovers. This film is the only known record of how these rites were performed. Oh, it's a whole Blair Witch thing.

Yeah. Cool. This film was found in someone's asshole. A guy in this movie whose name is George O. I'd like to point out that the last scene there is Bobby Starr, who always makes all the horny guys super excited. I just want to tell you about Carolina Foot Friends.

Yeah, I've been thinking about taking a vacation. Yeah, these are the Carolina Foot Friends. Picture this. A virgin from North Carolina travels 12 hours by bus to be in one of Eric Magyar's films. So she's traveling at 55 miles per hour. Yeah.

Add to that another handsome model and the fact that they are both in defeat. Bingo! We've got a foot film! Yay! I just want to read you a bit a little thing about my favorite scene from my favorite movie.

Anyway. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. Okay. So scene four in Overflowing Assholes, Roxy rushes next. And a dance of her naturally jiggling tits no man can resist her large soft pliable tits tipped with big succulent nipples jiggle and move all the time like tempting whores teasing and daring you to grab and suck grab and suck roxy's two gorgeous tits her two horny guys certainly do

yay the horny guys it's one tit for each guy and they're not shy they go for her pussy and for her ass with their fingers to prepare her for the fuck very nice ass she has. Her guys go straight to anal on her. It's unbridled lust. Hard and fast inside the lady's pussy and inside her ass. Her DP is impressive to see and it's no surprise that her two

horny guys come both inside her sexy bum. This is the whole back of the box when they go there's no pictures when they go for doggy anal rides with her yep yep yep that sounds like a like a nice sunday afternoon when i'm doggy anal right roxy and there's a lot of x's in roxy naturally jingling and dancing tits are something to see and the way sexy roxy fucks with the guys without barring any holes to their big poles is something to see strong this lady's scene certainly is coming to home video pussy foot and two back by popular demand richie zay brings you the

hottest women with the sweetest pussy o's along with the tastiest feet on the planet oh oh pussy Oi, this is a very English fetish, boys feet. If you're new to the foot world, count yourself lucky. Why is it so bad? I'm actually kind of trying. Count yourself lucky. Some of us have waited years for a film like this. So it's actually a bonus that it happens

to be a cracker into the bargain. So, of course, casual listeners to the F+, might not be aware, but they can, at this exact moment, go to Jerking online for a generated list. I currently have

379 titles right now. What's the URL for jerking online? It's jerking.online A cheap domain to buy, kind of an expensive domain to renew. We'll see how long it stays. Yeah, we'll see how long it stays.

But right now, the titles that people have just been submitting to me over time, let's see, we have Bite Club, that's fine. Citizen Horror, I like that. Seven Brides for a Brother, I like that very much. Before the Devil Knows Your

Dict, Scott Pilgrim vs. Those Girls. Stroke Dracula, Bram. And in glory hole, bastards. But those are, of course, you know, parody porn titles that were created by us. So from here, we have a section of actual porn titles, and we're going to see if we've been outdone. So Achilles, start us off. And these are actual porn titles, not ours.

All right. Coming up next on Masterpiece Theater. Four screws and an anal. All the president's women. American hair pie. Anal 2001 Odyssey. Come on. Women. American Hair Pie. Anal 2001 Odyssey. Come on. Anal Princess

Diaries. Anal Recall. Bad. Asventura. Crack Detective. Attack of the 15-inch Cock. Good.

Bad News Bitches. Decent. Ball Street. Alright, I like that one. The Bear Bitch Project. Batteries included. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, come on. That's pretty good. No. No? Beauty in the bitch. Beaver juice. Oh, I like it. I like it.

Beaver juice. Beaver juice. Beaver juice. It's not showtime, okay? Beverly. Oh, Beverly Hills Cop. It's not showtime, okay? Beverly... Oh, Beaverly Hills Cop. The best little whorehouse in Hong Kong. Blazing Mattresses.

Blondes Have More Anal Fun. Carlita's Backway. Coming in America I like that one Dangerous Behinds Dawn of the Head Dead Men Don't Wear Rubbers The Devil and Grandma Jones

That's a porn parody of a porno And Dial P for pink. I've got DP2, the mighty fucks. Gross! Fucks is spelled with a P. Dude, where's my cunt? Erectinophobia.

Fast Times at Deep Crack High. Florence Hump. For your mouth only. Good Will Humping. The French Connection. Oh, come on! The Girls from Butthole Ridge. I like that.

I like that. Girls of Silicon Valley. The Good, the Bad, and the Snuggly. Aww. The Fat, the Bald, and the Ugly. Yeah! Rainy's Big Adventure. Guess Who Came at Dinner.

Heaven's Anal Gateway. I think I might have used that one. Guess Who Came at Dinner. Anyway. Heaven's Anal Gateway Honey, I Blew Everybody Hung Wankenstein Well that's just Tourette's, that's what that is In Rear Endin's Day. That's awful. Itty Bitty Titty Gang Bang. Shitty Shitty Gang Bang.

This is one shitty gang bang. That's the best. This gang bang sucks. That is the much better interpretation of that. Yes, Lemon. James Bond meets Thunder Th that. Yes, Lemon. James Bond meets Thunder Thighs. Sorry, Jane Bond meets Thunder Thighs.

Buttholes are forever. From Brazil with Love. Golden Rod. See the woman with the golden buns. The last anal hero. The last Girl Scout. Then there's Little Shop of Whores. Looking for Mr. Good Sex.

Lust Tango in Paris. Oh, come on! Lust Tango in Paris? Boo! Miracle on 69th Street. Moon Stroked. Mr. Holland's Orgy. National Boom Boom European Vacation.

Yay! Why? Why? Okay. Night of the Living Bed. Nookie of the Year. The Passion of the Ass. The Poonies. Porn Stars Day Off. Primal Rear. Riding Miss Daisy. Satisfaction

Jackson. Schlongblade, School of Cock, Sexloose, Sexplicity, Sexually Altered States, Slutty and Sluttier, The Slutty Professor, Snow White and the Three Dwarfs, Snow Black and the Seven Weenies.

Some like it hotter! Okay. Good. Splendor in the ass. Okay. What else you got? Star whores, the phantom anus. Stella got her groove on. Taste of a woman, the Texas dildo masquerade.

Very, very, very bad Santa. Oh, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah, fuck me, totally. Willy Wankers, Candy Fucktory. Wet Dream on Elm Street. Wet Science. What about poop? Oh my god.

Oh my god. That's incredible. Oh, that's the best one. Congratulations. What about poop? Baby steps into the pussy. What's up, tiger pussy? White chicks can't hump.

Who reamed Rosie Rabbit? Witness for the penetration and witness for the prosecution. I'd say like a what's up, Tiger Lily porn parody is a very strange. Never mind. Yeah. Yeah. And we've also got 69 Park Avenue. These are TV references, by the way.

At the Pornies. Beaver and Buttface. Beverly Hills 90269. Ooh. Buck naked in the 21st century. Butt Banger's ball! Butt X-Files! Oh, come on!

That's my favorite! Okay, X-Files. I'm done. Not even Butt X-Files. Chocolate chips! Everybody loves Rieman! Fanta Sex Island! Fat Beach beach patrol i cream on genie i love juicy midden midnight baller missionary impossible oh oh very good nydp pink i like that one too The Pink Hotel on Butt Row, The Price Was Right

The Rock Hard Files The Sopornos Southern Exposure Starship Intercourse This Old House of Whores and Twin Cheeks Timelife Music presents a new collection on two cassettes or CDs.

Just listen to some of the hits you're going to get. Nine-inch males. 50 ways to lick your lover. Are you XXXperienced? Bugger's Banquet. California Creamin'. Frosty the Snow Ho. Glazed and Confused.

Grateful Head. Hooters and the blow jobs lust never sleeps yeah that's i want to see a neil young parody porn video excellent new chicks on the cock boontang clan Sgt. Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gangbang Sugar Sex Magic and Titalica Back to you, Achilles Literary references

We've got Ali Booby in the 40Ds Alright, that's enough literary reference. Alice in Anal Land. The Art of the Cum Fart. Bonfire of the Panties. The Bridges of Anal County. A Cat on a Hot Sin Roof.

Clockwork Orgy. Diary of a Mad Porn Director. Intercourse with a vampire. The Joy Fuck Club. Little Red Riding Slut. Memoirs of a foot fetishist. One flew over the cuckoo's breast. The Taming of the Screw.

Valley of the Sluts. And Zen and the Art of Fallatio. Nice, nice. Finish us up there. I got some miscellaneous puns. There's 69th Parallel, Anal Town, USA, Anus and Andy,

Anus the Menace. Ooh, ah, oh, it's a menace, is it? A Clock Strikes... What? Okay. A Clock Strikes Bizarre on Butt Row. Famous Anus. Gangbang at the ok corral the howard sperm show malibu beach monica lewd inski oh man wow okay the lewd winsky report one for the gusher. One wife to give.

That's good. That's good. I like that one. Operation Anal Storm. No clap for that? Weird. Oral majority. Orifice politics. Pizza slut. Poke a hot ass. Red, white, and goo. Sex feet under.

Man, come on. The Super Horneo Brothers. The tits that saved XXXmas. So stupid. This little piggy went to porno. We all scream for ass cream. Cool.

Yeah. Real cool. Real cool. There's like two more pages, too. We don't need to go into those. These are specifically the ones that are worse. Fuck. Fuck my gut, Buck My gut butt Yeah, fuck my gut butt

Great American moves to kill for dance contest Rump man caught in an anal avalanche My squirting birthday Fillmore Butts meets the Palm Beach nymphomaniac Kathy Willits. Mind if I felch? Slamming Granny in the fanny.

Smells like sex? Nice fucking movie. Panties. I gotta say, I kinda wanna see That Bitch Ate Our Witch. Just to see what's going on. I am intrigued by that one, yeah. Just search for the perfect blowjob. Butt woman versus butt woman.

Ooh. Topless brain surgeons. What? Two cocks, one pussy, all three pretty juicy! surgeons. Two cocks, one pussy, all three pretty juicy. Headless buddy at topless bar territory. Watch me pee.

Yeah, so, F+, what did we learn from this very informative wiki? Although, also, that we can really run long when we start talking porn. Very hard to stop. Oh, goodness. Yeah. What did we learn, though?

Jamie Gillis is still dead. Jamie Gillis is still dead. We didn't actually learn that, though, from this. We skipped over all the really relevant Jamie Gillis material. All right. So if you want to know more about Jamie Gillis being still dead, you can check out wikiporno.org yourself. Yeah, or episode like

25 or something? Pretty early. I'm not really sure. Yeah, definitely early. Anything else? Anything else we learned? I learned that if you like puns and you're really lazy, you can get a job in the valley writing titles for porn movies. and you're really lazy, you can get a job in the

valley writing titles for porn movies. Do you think that's a job or do you think that that's just what somebody pitches? Yeah, it's not a job. It's probably the last thing they do. They're like, fuck, we gotta get these boxes printed.

700 of these to put out this week. You know what? But X-Files. Fine. Done. I want to go home. Yeah, I mean, I learned that the horny guys seem to really, you know, get their money's worth with

certain porn stars, and that's really exciting. Yeah, there's a thing that we don't touch on quite enough, or well, I guess we touch on it enough,, there's a thing that we don't touch on quite enough, or well, I guess we touch on it enough, but there's a thing that happens where there's the sort of dedicated,

I guess I would call them like, porno fanboys? Like, the people who are just fans of pornography. They just appreciate the medium, and they want to write lots and lots and lots and lots of words about

like, it seems like sometimes they go into fact, but they sort of feel like they're a little bit more, I don't know, they're like smarks for wrestling. Like, they're just, you know, they know they're getting played, but they're sort of into it.

And they're so effusive in their shitty metaphors. Yeah. And it is fun. And if you've got like a million shitty metaphors that you like to write down on the internet, you should come to Ball Pit. Where should I put my shitty metaphors? Where would you think?

That's a good question. Maybe like the video game thread where I won't look at it. Website as always, thefbl.us. Our forum is ball pit. Give us the $10. And check out Jerking Online, because, you know, not enough people do.

And I still think it's funny. At least funnier than most of us. that's all I got for you bye bye And I spoke it to the west I spoke it to the woman that I love the best I've been spoken Let me ask you something