The F Plus - 27: Sub Sub Pop

Episode Date: July 21, 2010

The internet isn't only a place for for shut-ins to discuss their fetishes. It's also a place where self-aggrandizing attention sluts ceaselessly bludgeon the public with their own material in a transparent and shameless grab for attention. And as podcast providers, The F Plus is sympathetic to such naked egotism, but what happens if your band sucks? This week, we're taking on the music site Review Rinse Repeat, which not only reviews bands, but also lets unsigned bands explain how different and special they all are.

hey there welcome to f plus terrible things right with enthusiasm my name is lemon and i'm john and uh john have you ever heard of the website Review Rinse Repeat? No, but that's a clever name for a website. I wonder what it's about. Well, you know what it's about. You know that it's about record reviews, right? Oh, okay. Yeah.

And you know that. And so you also know that the content is like badly written and pretentious. Oh, of course. That's how I take all my music writing. Right. So we all know this going in. So rather than actually giving you an intro, because you know what you're going to get,

I'm going to give you one of my favorite drummer jokes instead. Okay. What's the last thing a drummer says before he's kicked out of the band? Oh, what does he say? Hey guys, let's play one of my songs. Oh, I like it. In the room tonight, we have Acer Rockawaddle. I'm rated 4 out of 5 stars, except on Pitchfork.

Portex. It's actually Potex. You're pronouncing it wrong. Boots Reingear. Download the F Plus EP. It's just the intros. Bump Girl. So I totally wrote two songs and then I was going to write two more songs and then another two songs and that was going to be my album

but an EP Bunny Bread I'm Bunny semicolon bread Jack Chick With our podcast you can walk away with great tactical tips that you can then implement immediately to improve your business Thanks I rate this podcast 5.73

squiddy mcconway i'm still getting over my first love oh and lemon so um are you guys familiar with the band attack attack oh yeah unfortunately i have heard the name but none of the music. They squat low, and then they yell, and then there's auto-tune. Yep. Squatting low does not begin to capture. They crab walk. They take dumps while playing their guitars.

So we are familiar with Attack Attack, then. Crabcore. Crabcore. Crabcore. They call themselves. This is a review of, yeah, it's another self-titled. And I'm going to read this because I believe this was written by Andy Rooney. I just like the title of the review.

Attack, attack, attack, attack review. Attack, attack, attack, attack, attack. It's like a frustrated supervillain. Did you guys not hear me the first time? You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of Catch-22. Major, major, major, major. Yeah.

All right, so this is a review of an album. Remember that. Remember when you're hearing this, that this is a review of an album. Remember that. Remember when you're hearing this, that this is a review of an album. Alright. Crustaceans, crustacea, are defined as a diverse and expansive group of arthropods

that are usually regarded as a subphylum and classified by the larval form noxious rather than the conventional standards of anatomy. Some of these creatures, like prawns, lobsters, shrimp, and crab have become common ingredients in cuisine worldwide, particularly in Asia and more specifically China, which is not surprising really. They are meat, people eat meat, but what

is surprising is that the stations have also transferred into other fields besides culinary arts. In example, the field of music has become affected by this. Ranking as one of the more prominent subgenres of fusion between electronic music and metalcore, crabcore is an awkward

juxtaposition which has skyrocketed bands like Attack Attack to flavor of the week notoriety and what unfortunate notoriety it is. Can we get to the review part of the review? I don't know if this exists. This is all

the review part of the review. Attack Attack formed in 2005 in Westerville, Ohio and were soon after after signing the infamous Rise Records, thanks to their self-release EP, If Guns Are Outlawed, Can We Use Swords? Oh.

They decided to go with just their own name as the next album title. Thank Christ. If Guns Are Outlawed, Can We Use Shitty Music? Stolen from the joke book, jokes set over a D&D game. However, it was not a joke of their highly criticized

video for Stick Sickly that the band's crab-like dance moves created said portmanteau. Now, throughout Landish and Siri, the claim was apt to the band's rather well, idiotic dance moves.

In their defense, no one conducts a mosh quite like, attack, attack! Where's the music review part? Who would choose to squat while headbanging to overly simplistic breakdowns? Who would wish to squat while headbanging to overly simplistic breakdowns?

Who would wish to two-step to surgery to sugary sins and excessive auto-tune? So it was certainly surprising when Someday Came Suddenly became such a huge hit. Regardless of its popularity, the album was still particularly received, or sorry, poorly received by critics and a boatload of other people. Oh. Literally. Are these the same people that are always backing up whatever... Everyone else spoke to you guys.

Are these the same people that are always backing up what a news reporter says? Some people say that. They're on a boat. Boatload of other people. Thus causing some to doubt that Attack Attack would, or if they could rather, even recover

or improve. Recover from what? Recover from a boatload of people poorly receiving them. There's never been a band in history that people really didn't like that then stuck around for like a billion years. That's never happened ever.

Oh, I know. Never, ever, ever happened. So, of course, interest rose when a band that their eponymous sophomore release was scheduled for... Ha! Ha!

That their eponymous sophomore release was scheduled for... Ha! Ha! Ha! That their eponymous sophomore release was scheduled for release in June 2010. Even more so when the single Sexual Man Chocolate, and we thought they were Christians, was released. What?

What? Yeah, what? I like words. I like words so much I'm going to say all of them. They gave an interview where somebody asked them if they were a Christian band and they said yes. Okay. And, yeah, that's what happened. And since when is band chocolate and Christians mutually exclusive? Yeah, I mean, maybe that song's about Jesus.

Yeah. Well, yeah, there maybe that song's about Jesus. Yeah. Well, yeah, there are no black Christians at all. Jesus was black, right? Now, though most would never have thought to have actually enjoyed an attack, attack song, suspicion rose as to whether all of these preconceived notions towards the bands were just illusions, because well, sexual man chocolate wasn't all that bad. Oh, shoot, a music review.

That's what she said. Sure, most of the components of attack, attack sound had left them, and they still relied too heavily on breakdowns, but it showed progression comprised of different piano chords and what was

mostly tolerable metalcore. Diffuse piano chords. Diffuse piano chords? I'm sorry, sir, you're just not pretentious enough. The sexual man chocolate wasn't necessarily a great track, but it was most certainly a step in the right direction.

Of course, the lyrics were still beyond trite. Show your loyalty is repeated ad nauseum. I don't know what that means. I'm going to tick off the Latin part of my pretentious writing bingo chart here. I'm going to take off the Latin part of my pretentious writing bingo chart here. You should be able to get a high score in this. I'm on my second card. It's pretense travel.

But they were still better than the likes of Bro Ashley's here. However, if using that song alone as a placeholder for what was to come, that wouldn't have been as terrible as expected. Sure, those who thrive off of music forums and sites such as this won't really be interested, but the band will certainly accumulate a much larger if less scene-savvy fan base because of this album.

It's a move which, of course, could be seen as a proverbial baby step, even if it took five years to accomplish. But how is that exactly? Oh my god! Yeah, let's think about that. Oh. I don't wanna know.

I'm sure you think, doesn't it? I swear to god, I'm all done. I haven't thought in hours. You're sitting on the tree next to this guy. Clearly, that's because you don't thrive off of music forums and sites such as this. They're haters, in quotes. There are people who are thriving. I just love halfway through your article telling people who would read your article not to.

The people who would visit your article not to. The people who would visit this article wouldn't like this. Oh, okay. Click. I can't tolerate it anymore. And instead, I want to get to an interview. I would like to do the Andy Rooney game with this article. I think it would work really well.

Oh, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. If anybody doesn't know, the Andy Rooney game is like, with Andy Rooney's rants, you take the first and last sentence and just put them together. So let's do it with this article. Alright.

Crustaceans, crustacea, are defined as a diverse and expansive group of arthropods that are usually regarded as a subphylum and classified by the larval form nopolis rather than the more conventional standards of anatomy. It's shameful indeed. Thank you.

That's beautiful. This has a douchebag quotient of only 0.4. That's two semicolons over five paragraphs. It's not classy enough. Can I read one sentence from the last paragraph? Oh, please, by all means.

No, it's not. Sure, the band has gone with their strengths on this record. Note, their strengths aren't so much strengths as they are things which are inoffensive. But Renob Nevada, yes, that's boner, backwards, hardy, har, har,

proves that metalcore attributes can, and on several occasions they do, fail. That is a fucking good sentence. That is really... That is, it's the best of times, it's the worst of times For a new generation

Hi, your metal is weak Your metal core attributes Have failed you anymore Oh, don't dare cry I want to, uh, sorry, are any of you familiar with a band called The Cure? I am. Oh, yeah.

Never heard of them. They did one or two albums, didn't they? There's no Cure reviews on here. However, there is an interview. Not with the Cure. But with a woman whose name... She's a singer-songwriter

and her name is Charlotte. Her name is Charlotte sometimes. But how is it the rest of the time? No. Her name is Charlotte sometimes. So, what is it the rest of the time? No, her name is Charlotte sometimes. So they have an interview. So sometimes her name is Charlotte. Oh, sometimes she's dreaming, but it's not as Charlotte sometimes.

Look, they've got an interview with a woman who named herself after a Cure song. The end. Yeah, so I guess the point of this interview is we interview someone we know about the cure. You'll be very fascinated by it because we are just fascinating people in general. You put four semicolons

in that sentence. Oh, is it the end or is it just the beginning? So here's the link and Squiddy will be playing the part of Charlotte sometimes. They will. And then, Portex, do you want to take Maria? Do you want to be the interviewer?

Okay, hang on. And this is clearly done over email or something. Yeah. Like, this is not an actual in-person interview. I thought her on Twitter. I thought her actual name was Maria at er. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. She's like a wolf. Yeah, a wolf girl or something.

Which I think that's going to be her voice. Maria at reduce, reuse, recycle. Give a hoot. Alright. Alright. Maria. Alright. Maria at Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.

Give us a bit of background on yourself and your career so far. Question mark there. And like a single or maybe that's just a smudge. Okay. It looked like there was a single quotation mark there. Yeah, no, it's like...

Yeah, putting quotes where you're supposed to, that's... That's so 90s. That's for other people. I've been performing since I was three as a dancer, then switched to music around 15, signed to Crush Management when I was 16, and made my major debut in 2008 with Geffen Records. I toured the country about eight times in a year and a half. It was crazy.

I am currently unsigned, and I am working with a new management company that I love. So, in a way, it's like I'm starting all over again. I got a contract with Geffen when I was 16. Also, I am loathsome. And totally unsigned. In a way, it's like I'm starting all over again. Which means that it is exactly

like I'm starting all over again. Guide us through the writing and recording process for your new EP, Sideways. I think she wants her to guide us through it sideways. Okay. Tilt your head sideways

and talk about music. I'll be Paul Giamatti, you be the other guy. Now go. When I left my management company at first, I had a really bad taste in my mouth. I'm not even doing it. I also had some really traumatic experiences on tour.

I started to look at music and the people in the business as the enemy. I was in a really dark place. But even though I thought music was the enemy, I couldn't help but write music. That's when I fell in love with it all over again and used the music to get out those bitter and hurt feelings so I could move on and have closure in my life. I have baggage. It's the end of your life. This interview brought to you by stock footage. What inspired the songs on the EP?

What does the title mean? The songs were inspired by being let down in the industry mostly, feeling taken advantage of, also falling in love. But really, it's mostly about me coming into my own as an artist, not blaming anybody for anything, just taking an in-depth look at my life, my past, and deciding where to go from there.

And also allowing myself to be upset and be okay with that. She's not blaming anybody for anything except for the management company and the entire music industry. Also, what's she doing? What does the title mean? except for the management company and the entire music industry. Also, what is she doing?

What is the title mean? She's looking back on. I like to picture with Portax's voice that she's being interviewed by a hipster puppet dinosaur. I was thinking that it was sort of a happy mobster from Sesame Street.

I thought she was being a Chicago mobster and was going to talk about the Boyds, right? We don't know what she's being interviewed by. Being an identifiable creature, that is so last year. Everybody's allowed to have their own interpretation of this voice.

I'm so underground, I don't know what I am. Yes, by underground, I mean I'm a beast that lives in the center of the Earth. I'm so underground, I don't know what I am. Yes, by underground, I mean I'm a beast that lives in the center of the earth. Cool. In what ways were your songs similar or different to your previous material? They sound more acoustic, more ellipsis. This EP is definitely more me.

I come from folk acoustic roots, so I wanted to get back in touch with that. The beats were fun, This EP is definitely more me. I come from folk acoustic roots. So I wanted to get back in touch with that. The beats were fun, but it doesn't reflect the music I listen to. I wanted it to be more tangible and real. I like playing small shows and really putting my... The grapes were sour anyway. I sell things door-to- door because it really works for me. It's the kind of job I want.

And really putting my heart into every word I sing. So this was an excellent chance to do that. Bad taste in a dark place. It's weird because they keep asking questions and she doesn't really answer anything. She just kind of talks about herself. It's like, what inspired the songs? Oh, I don't want to blame anyone. I'm just looking into myself.

But she doesn't go into any specific songs like what any specific incidents that inspire them. It's just like, this is about me and myself and how I think about myself and how are these songs similar or different to your previous material? Well, the thing is I like playing shows and I like putting my heart into every word I sing and me, me, I, I, I, me, I, me, me. Oh, okay.

Are you saying that the 16-year-old female singer-songwriter named Charlotte sometimes is self-obsessed? No. She's also a dancer since age three. She's not 16. She's like 19 now. Oh, my mistake. Yeah, okay.

Next question. I want to see how she's evolved. Okay. How do you feel you've changed as a person and a musician since the 2008 waves and the both of us? I am more humble and appreciative, but I'm also so much stronger as a woman. I'm not afraid to make people unhappy and I don't try to change what I can't change. I accept who I am and the people around me.

Also, I am on crazy pills. So that just helps in general. Ha ha. Oh, that's weird. Wow. She's random. She's so wacky. My music reflects who I am now.

So it's not all about boys. Yeah, she's stronger as a woman. She's been doing her thing. It's mostly about life experiences I'm an adult now and most of the songs I wrote on waves I wrote when I was 16 two years ago

I don't know about any of you but when I turned 18 I felt like it was a completely different world you became an adult. Yuck. Okay. You want to keep going? Also, have you noticed that she's

clearly in the program now? Because she's like, how have things changed since 2008? And she's like, well, I've accepted the things that I cannot change. Like, ooh, that's an interesting catchphrase you've just used. I've accepted things

I can't change, like being unsigned forever. I suck, and I'm okay with that. I don't try and change what I can't change. I accept who I am, and I pray for the strength to know the difference. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm revealing where I got that from.

I just made that shit up, you know. I call it the serenity thought. Yeah. Yeah. What prompted you to give the EP away to your friends for free? Because I couldn't sell this shit. Have you heard my music? Would you pay for it? What prompted me or what forced me?

That's the crazy pill talking. Ha ha. The crazy pills prompted me to do that. Price is so low, I've got to be on crazy pills. Come on down to Charlotte sometimes. I thought of it as a re-education to what Charlotte sometimes is all about. I thought it wasn't fair to charge

people on something I made so personal. I wanted anyone who wanted it to have it. It's my gift to my fans for being so acceptive and loyal to me. Really? Acceptive? Her English teacher wasn Really? Acceptive. Her English teacher wasn't very

acceptive. I really appreciate that my fans are so cromulent. You've got to remember she's talking about her fans. She may as well be talking about unicorns. That's true. That's not funny. I respect her

as an art. Hey, I'm a unicorn and I resent that. We never live in Charlotte sometimes, for Christ's sake. You are currently unsigned, right? How did this come about and what happened with your previous label, Geffen Records? Yes, I am unsigned. Long story short, Geffen became Interscope and management and label never agreed

on anything. It is what it is. I like the sentence, long story short. Long story short, I'm not telling you. Wait, is that what you take away? My goodness, I've been budwinked. How did you get

your start in the music industry? I did a showcase for Sony when I was 16. I was handing out my press kits and sending them everywhere, just hoping someone would listen, and they did. It's like a fairy tale. Now on to the future.

How are the plans? Yay! Are there plans to hit the road anytime soon? I'd love to tour again, but I can't really afford to fund my own tour right now so I'm hoping I can work that out soon send donations to my

yeah hopefully through giving away free music that works right is the EP a taste of is the EP a taste of What? Hang on Is the EP a taste of perhaps An upcoming full-length album You may be working on?

Yes I am recording another three songs Next week To be added to the EP Then another four to make the album What a coincidence I get the feeling Charlotte sometimes wrote that question on a card and it was showing up to the interviewer as they

were talking. The scotch tape way of making an album. Just take songs you have before and just add some. It's an album now. God, I like this next line of questioning is incredibly deep and insightful, I think.

This is a distillation of the I think. This is awesome. This is a distillation of the entire interview. Yes, this is pretty much it. What does the next year hold in store for you? You tell me. Ha! Oh, no, no. So she actually answered that question instead of referring to the robot.

I just think everybody should take a moment and look at that ha just sitting there by itself, completely devoid of punctuation and capitalization. You could have done something to it, but... And it just stopped. Ladies and gentlemen, the Twitter generation. You tell me, uh...

I had a girlfriend, though, whenever you asked her a difficult question, she'd always whine, I don't know! Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Now, there's more to the interview, which we could look at, but I'm just right now looking at her Twitter.

And that's where the real action is. Forever sometimes. Forever sometimes. Forever sometimes. I fucking love this tweet. I love this tweet. So she has, let's see, 1,782 followers, right? She has 1,782 followers.

So to all of them, she broadcasts, makes me sad when I see homeless people in my neighborhood. That's not enough to do anything about it. Got any spare change, lady? No, but I'll tweet about you. Just took a four-hour nap-oops. Oops. Doing your nap-oopses.

Going to get a wild horse tattoo that says wild horses couldn't drag me away. Need help on a design note. No, you don't. That was only ten hours ago. Sometimes. Four hours ago

at Punch Drunk Dub, she says, grr. And this was her response to Punch Drunk Dub saying, M at a week and a half. Oh, yeah. Equals D. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Okay. I don't know if I can read this myself without losing it. You can do it. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. You can do it. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. You can do it.

I just had a fortune-telling astrology reading cab ride. So weird and so awesome. Kind of changed my life. Okay. I got one. I got one. I play Rockaway Mall this Wednesday at Hot Topic. Yeah, you do.

Her boyfriend did a little model statuette of the Iwo Jima flag raising. Oh, is that what that was? Man, I love that. Diet starts tomorrow. Okay, so there's another aspect

to review Rinse Repeat. Can I just read one more thing on her, Charlotte, sometimes? At 9.46pm she says song is sounding sweet and then four minutes later her tweet is at studio still so hungry and tired.

Somebody save her! See, we did miss one week without alcohol, and yes, it may be because I was sick, but I'm still proud. Gonna try to avoid it until I go see the Mets versus Yanks fry. You co-girl. Guys, I had to record a song for four hours without alcohol

and it sucks! I've gone one whole week because I was sick. But I'm proud. She's matured as a woman. What's a sinus slash respiratory spelling? Infection, sweet, lol. I won't believe you this time Excuse as you may

Just don't fit quite right But I'm stranded here Baffled at what to say to you Well, I'm so sure But you're not All right, so the other thing And really what is the best part of this site, the absolute best part of this site, is that they have a section called Unsigned Spotlight.

Unsigned Spotlight. Unsigned Spotlight. And what Unsigned Spotlight is, is unsigned, let's say, artists. Lack of a better term. Who write an essay about why they should be signed. Like, you know how talented they are, how creative they are, what fun people they are.

We're going to start out with a boy whose name is Caleb Lovely. I would like to think that's Caleb Lovely. No, I'm just saying there's a face there. Caleb Lovely. No, I think there's a face there. Caleb Lovely. He sounds like a pin-up guy for a Puritan

skin flick or something. I can listen to his tracks today. Let's see what this sounds like. John, this sounds like you to me. I think this might be you. You're going to enjoy this. I'm Caleb. I'm an independent acoustic slash indie

slash pop singer slash songwriter slash artist slash musician from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that recently relocated to Nashville, Tennessee. He's a pent-up hood. Wait, you're not a dancer? I danced until I was five. And I was over the hill. I danced in my soul.

I'm 21 years old, enjoy pina coladas, and super long walks on the beach. And being original. Pina colada. Being caught in the rain. I draw most of music slash writings from my real life experiences,

obviously from love that can resonate with all. I think you need to, anything that's in all caps, I think you need to kind of shout it because he does this a few times, it looks like, in this writing. Well, not love though. You don't shout love. You say love. You can yell. You can

shout your love. No, the only proper way to do that is you have to have that little sound after it too. You see here, I started begging my parents for a guitar at the age of nine. I always wanted to rock out

to my favorite artist of all time, Britney Spears, Pink Bahaman, Lou Bega. Just kidding. Just kidding. He got you. He did. Who thought he liked shitty music? He doesn't like shitty music.

He got you. I didn't like Mambo No. 5 after all. Oh. When I got my guitar, the first thing I did was turn on my boombox and rocked out on my bed. Jumping up and down to Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz. I have a friend, Lenny. He doesn't listen to shit.

I'd like to think that's when he brings a girl over. Wait, no, shut up, because he's about to list the bands that he likes. Oh, okay. I loved Lenny. A few others I listened to were the Goo Goo Dolls, Sugar Ray, Hanson, Three Doors Down, and Matchbox 20.

Just kidding. Yeah, where's the just kidding? Please give me the just kidding. Maybe he means the Hanson Brothers. I'm not so go just to listen to the doll hall. I listen to Hanson. I don't like Grimmy as Hanson. said brothers, which I'm not so go I live in a handsome

I'm not learning enough about Caleb Lovely. I'm sorry. How am I supposed to touch myself? Well, listen with love. My musical career was spawned at the age of 12 when I taught myself I was repeating myself. Oh wait, no, I'm not.

He said the same thing. My musical career was spawned at the age of 12 when I taught myself how to play guitar. I used my junior high and high school years to develop on guitar as well as drums, bass, and a tad of piano. I'm shitty at everything. I'm playing in various jazz bands.

As well as playing worship for my local church. He's a dipshit of all trades. How do you play worship? I attended West Virginia University in the year. Then I decided to turn my full attention to pursuing a career in music.

I failed. I eventually grew tired of playing Die Bars for hours for a $20 bill in Morgantown and decided to make the trek to Pittsburgh I said I said Caleb Lovely you just got the lemon cackle

I don't think that had much love I'm moving to the big time Pittsburgh, here I come Yeah I submerged myself into the music scene Playing every place I could I came out with a small independent Home recorded EP featuring

Three full band songs Which recorded everything and produced it myself. And two much older songs recorded when I was 18. I've written a ton of new material, and I'm not afraid to show it. I bet you're not. Usually releasing pre-production tracks slash ideas on MySpace for all to hear. I just released my first music video with Tom Larkin Productions and just got done filming the next video

being released this month. This one is for my full band tune, Call Me, one of the tracks I just completed on Soundscape Studios in Pittsburgh. John, will you do me a favor and just reread that last sentence? This one is for my full band tune, Call Me,

one of the tracks I just completed at Soundscape Studios in Pittsburgh. Okay, now it makes sense. Now that makes perfect sense. Good, then you can explain it. No, it's something that you need to understand on a molecular level. But wait, there's an update. I just moved to Nashville. I know a current total of three people.

Oh. Sadness. Moving on. I won a singer-songwriter competition back in PA, so I'm using the earnings to chill out, write music, try and play everywhere I can, and make a ton of contracts before I have to get a real job. Please, no!

I was starting to be somewhat not a failure, so then I moved up to some place where I could be a real failure again. Yeah, he's like, I went to Pittsburgh, I happened to make some money off of a contest, and I'm going to use that money to chill out before I get a real job. Oh, no! How about you use that money to chill out before I get a real job. Oh no. How about you use that money to, you know. No, I'm writing a ton of new things and I'm hoping to find some legit

inexpensive places to get them down on tape. I also do a ton of YouTube videos. I'm surprised. So do the Forth Lowliness guys, but that doesn't make them music stars. They should try. And then we'll start with the Bs.

I'd watch Dwayne Holloway dance. I'd love to see that. He doesn't dance so much as Shimmy, and he's not trying to dance at the time. It's called the trying to get off the bed dance. Yeah, he's just rolling over. It's kind of become a part of me. YouTube, I guess. And I love doing them. Mostly covers to attract people to my original

tunes. Check them out. Yeah, that always works. Yeah. It's like how everyone listens to Alien Ant Farm songs that aren't Michael Jackson covers. No, I know a band that does covers to attract people. It's just that that band's actually good.

I know a band that discovers to attract people. It's just that that band's actually good. I know a band that discovers to attract people and they play in the local bar. And in the local bar. And in the local bar. And then they play in the local bar again. They're really popular. Everyone listens to their original songs. Yeah, but where else do they play?

Oh, is it true? They are better than this guy in that they do have steady work and aren't using their last earnings to just chill out and write more songs, man. In the month of July, I will be doing a three-week tour with an amazing singer-songwriter by the name of Kiernan McMullen.

He's a little bit Irish. He's a tiny little bit Irish. He's just a big red fuzzball Atio potato Well he caught the leprechaun And he figured He was going to grant him his wish

Of not having to get a real job He's an exceptional friend And it will be great to share the midwest part of the country With him This is your half This is my half great to share the Midwest part of the country with him. They're splitting it in two. This is your half, this is my half. Like that sitcom where they draw the line down the middle of the room.

Also, I'm hoping to find some legitimate people to co-write with. He keeps looking for legit people. Yeah, he's looking for legitimate people. Like, how many times has this guy gotten scammed? No, no, no, no, no. You pay me $20 and I'll totally get you a record deal.

Okay. Everybody that responds to my letters is a Muppet. His name is Caleb Lovely, which means that every once in a while he works in porn. So by legitimately he means non-porn people. Oh, okay.

He needs a cock in the ass right now. This is something that... I mean, who doesn't? Yes! That would be lovely. This is something I've never done, and I'm interested to see what kind of impact it has on me. Okay, guys.

Here we go. Other really random stuff about me. Oh, that sounds like a good paragraph. I really like Special K cereal products. My new favorite are the fruit crisps. So tasty! I try to eat a banana every day, although I kind of get sick of it.

I'm Bill's character, goddammit. Joke goes here. Moving on. I love movies. Who doesn't? The Moulin Rouge soundtrack. I'm obsessed with boutique guitars and amps. I really want a handgun. I'm thoroughly attracted to cute dancers.

Oh, my God. Yes, the next sentence. I think Pauly Shore is really cool. And the bass player from the Goo Goo Dolls hair is sick! What? I shouldn't agree more. What a random fucking collection. I want a handgun. Did you say Pauly Shore?

Yes, Pauly Shore. This is 2010. And really cool. Is Pauly Shore still alive? alive yeah he's like a bodybuilder is that Carrot Top that's Carrot Top I'm getting my shitty actors Pauly Shore is

Carrot Top without the clever props two best sentences in here are I really want a gun and I'm really attracted to Taylor Swift that was the headline in the making anyways check out my stuff and come out and see me

on tour if we come out to your city details will be released soon I don't live in just Nashville here's what Review Rinse Repeat says Caleb Lovely is one of the most heartfelt Singer songwriters With some of the most epic

Guitar skills This guy is bound to get more recognition this coming year And with a last name like Lovely How can you resist Oh Jesus I like how guitar skills Is a hyphenated word Because it's epic guitar skills is a hyphenated word.

Because it's epic guitar skills. Yeah, that's true. I mean, there's guitar skills, and then there's, you know. His guitar fails doesn't has fail. Oh. Uh-huh. Internet. Uh-huh.

Internet. I got to say, in comparison to Charlotte sometimes, Caleb Lovely's Twitter ain't shit. I just love when he lists off those artists that he liked. Even if you were young and didn't know shit and liked them at one time, you don't admit that. It's like admitting, when you give someone a biography, it's like, I shit my pants until I was five.

You don't tell people that, even if it's true. It's not something to be proud of. Wait, wait, wait. I like this. You. Wait, wait, wait. I like this. I like fighter jets and machine guns. One of his Twitters is I've peed four times.

It's very heartfelt pee though. I think I may have accidentally hit it right on the money here. But I like the comment on his unsigned spotlight thing from Susie McGurvey McGivern.

Alright. I can't say enough about this aspiring young and talented great musician. His voice pours out straight from his heart which is made of gold. I know good things are just around the corner. Just listen to see what so many of us have already cut. Have what?

So many of us already two different words have become addicted to in his many works of musical art. And he wears the greatest socks. Fantastic. He'll rock your socks off smiley face oh no alright we're gonna shift gears again. This is another unsigned spotlight.

We're going to do Boys Will Be Boys. Boots, we, or Bunny Bread, will you take that? Oh, my God. Bunny Bread, please. That's really good. Oh, I want to listen to their song. Yeah, you do. It doesn't sound like Green Day.

Not at all. You promise? Because last time you said that. Oh, wait, no, never mind. It doesn't sound like Green Day. Not at all. You promise? Because last time you said that. Oh, wait, no, never mind. It sounds a lot like Green Day. Oh, son of a bitch! You fell into the Green Day trap. God damn it.

Green Day sprawled. We're boys. We'll be boys. All of our members were in different bands in the Northern Virginia slash Washington, D.C. area and we all decided that we wanted to get together and write music that was different from our current bands.

We just wanted to play music that was catchy and fun to play. That's alright. And released a two-song digital EP on iTunes along with our two older EPs, excuse me, EPs on there already. That's not how EPs, excuse me, EPs, on there already. That's not how EPs work.

You don't release two songs and call it an EP. That's cheating. Nope. Well, boys will be boys. Oh, boy. First one of the night, kids. Ding. We get up to five. I think we get a free pizza or something.

We're really excited about our two new songs. We've worked hard on making them how we want them, and we co-wrote the song Nowhere Fast with Andrew Goldstein of the Friday Night Boys, fueled by ramen. Jesus Christ, that started somewhere and ended somewhere. Started somewhere good and it ended

somewhere bad. Awesome. Okay, sorry. I'll switch back into there, bud. That sure did happen. There are a lot of different funny things that happen from inappropriate pictures slash body parts

being shown in the van as jokes. You know, jokes. The craziest thing that has ever happened was when we played in Philly and our show was canceled at the last minute. So we ended up hanging with this bum and Was when we played in Philly And our show was cancelled at the last minute So we ended up hanging with this bum And he showed us everything in Philly And we ended up drinking with him at like 10am

We're going on tour pretty much all summer And those days should be posted shortly So come see us And come to our city alright And we love everyone who supports us And always to talk slash meet people, you know? Follow us on Twitter

at Mike and this is Mark Wood. We love you! Three. Wait, so in order to subscribe to this fucking shitty band, I don't even subscribe. I have to subscribe to three different Twitters? Yeah, it's gonna take a lot

A lot of commitment or you can pick the boy that you most crutch on and just pull it. Oh Okay, I think I think I choose I think black haired guy Probably the cutest one Yeah Oh, no, see I think the center one is deliberately wearing that shower cap to be dowdy He has cancer I like the smug one

Which one is the smug one? I like the white one Oh, I get it, poots I like the one that's from an upper middle class family Break me down, break me down I like the one that's from an upper middle class family. I've been alive for so long now, I'll let you go. Break me down, break me down, break me down, break me down. You always make it hurt so now, break me down, break me down. All right.

All right, yeah, Jack, take it. Late Night Habit is the creation of myself, Matt Wolk, and Nick Marfing. We were both involved in a fairly successful band called Parade the Day prior to starting this band. After Parade the Day broke up, everyone swore they were done with music. However, as we soon found out, music was something that wasn't so easy to just forget about.

Going to school. Yeah, really. going to school yeah really sounds that we used to listen to on tape and cd and shit what was that called oh music that's right I gave up on that shit man there's not a single person that we've read so thus far that has been able to

speak properly it's just awkward I don't even really know how else to put it. Music was something that's just kind of hard to not forget about, but then we came up with another band, and then there was some more music from the bottom of my heart, which was good. The end. That's awesome.

I'm going to try to market myself with things that don't make sense. We gotta hit all these catchphrases. So let's just get them all in one sentence. Yeah. Started a band called Somewhat A Ghost and it was a fun time only from the bottom of the golden age of music when I was listening to Hanson.

Alright, what else do you have to tell me about Late Night Habit? Nick and I created Late Night Habit because we craved more music, more live shows, and more connecting with fans, and more doing what we love than not playing. We want to play more live shows than Zero.

That's our goal. One of my favorite parts of making music is the feeling I get from how my music makes others feel. Knowing that other people can relate to our songs makes it all worth it. My two favorite words are make and feel. Don't listen to our new album,

Make Feel. The feel makes. After releasing an EP called The Single Life earlier this year, we decided that in order to expose our music to more people, we needed to create our own community. This community found a home on LateNightHabit.com

a little less than two months ago. The goal of establishing LateNightHabit.com was to be as interactive with fans as possible. Oh, you fucking assholes. Yeah, go on. I just want to have sex with them. Excuse me, I want to interact with them.

We came up with the idea of making a website for a band. We also got a MySpace, you fucking assholes. I don't see why you're having a problem with this, man. I mean, it seems like a good idea, making a website for your band. I mean, how else are you going to get your... What would you put on a website, Jack Chick? We also had an idea for a blog...

On the site, we feature content such as exposing the reader to the original memes behind our song. Oh, God. Oh, God. No. Too sad. Video updates.

Not updated videos. Sessions, pictures, daily blogs, and more. And more. The site is constantly growing in an attempt to create a thriving community where our fans can come to interact with one another, as well as talk to us. Our goal is to be as open as possible with the entire creation process that goes into making music.

The more connected everyone feels, the better the connection to the music will be. I always love it when an artist of any kind always feels the need to go out of their way to explain the incredibly deep meaning to anything that they're doing. Over the next few months, we have plans to continue writing for a new EP and to continually improve the website. We strive to always stay ahead of the curve. Oh, these guys are so

corporate. And have high hopes that this website will be the future of bad communication with fans. They just like the government of Canada's website and just changed

a couple words. We're going to connect with the younger generation by using the internets. By sharing best practices with other bands. We're very excited about these Web 2.0 initiatives. Okay, and this went on the website in... This summer, if you live on the East Coast. That went on the website in this summer if you live on the East Coast. That went on the website

on the 8th of February and on their website on the 29th of April, they're all like, oh yeah, the band isn't together anymore. So we're not going to be updating the website anymore. The fans were connected to each other. We were not connected to each other so much.

We de-strategized our synergies. They've been downsized. One foot in my grave I was fit to be tied Take a look at my life Why am I so afraid? This is actually someone that I saw live the other day. For about five minutes.

She's really awful. Her name is Katie. You went deaf after the first five minutes. She's got Peggy Bundy hair. Walked away. She's got biceps. She does have pretty good biceps, doesn't she? Yeah.

Katie, Katie, why? Those are Obama seps right there. Michelle seps. It looks like her name is Katie just so people can call her like Candy. She's like, no, it's Katie, okay? Yeah, but... Hold on.

While we talk, I'm going to listen to Katie's song. Oh, this is the worst one yet. This is really bad. Butt man misspells Candy Groves. Yeah, I... Do you hear that? Oh my god. That's the shit I hear on the radio every day.

I like how there's no intro. It just immediately gets right into the singing. It's like... I'm gonna sing! I just walked in on her automatically singing. Alright, Bump Girl, this one's yours. Oh, sweet. Hi, y'all! My name is Katie Groves. Hey, Bump Girl, this one's yours. Oh, sweet. Hi, y'all. My name is Katie Grose.

Hey, Bump Girl. Can you turn your microphone down a little bit? No, no, turn it up. Yeah, that's... Just a tiny bit. No. No. No.

Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't care. My name is Katie, and I don't give a fuck. He never likes my microphone values. Hey, y'all. I'm the sound engineer of this goddamn podcast. Quiet. I will not be too loud. Let's all do our Katie impression.

Now am I okay? Am I okay now? You sound lovely. Do I sound pretty enough for you yet maybe you'd like me better my name is Katie Groves I'm a 20 year old little lady with a super big dream I've never lived anywhere for too long

and I don't have a single place I can call home just reverse that line I'm a little lady with big dreams she fucking says that all the time at the bar. Ugh! Again, it's like the summary

of a Disney sitcom. She's a little girl with big dreams. I'm more afraid of her than you. I'm going to punch you. Hi, Katie. The one consistent thing that I've had since I was a teeny tot was writing and singing. When I was four, I was really focused.

I got a bright blue drum set for Christmas and spent every second on them learning and realizing how fun creating this neat noise of music can be. I moved from drums to piano and then finally made a permanent home in the writing and singing department. There's high rent there. I'm sorry, you guys, but what is it with the Midwest? I have lived in many places in the Midwest throughout my life, but I've also lived on the West Coast. And I feel like my music now is kind of a combination of just that. What? Of what?

I'm really varied. I'm from the west to the midwest. I'm all over the place. Yeah, she generates midwest core, I guess. No, no, no. Don't worry. She clarifies. It's just a chance to get a major point across with a really fun acoustic pop sound.

Yes. Isn't everything perfectly clear now? All we are saying is give us some money. I mean, no, I think that it's very clear that her father

hired a publicist. I think it's important that we know, that we learn about her education. Well, I think it's clear that they should fire

her publicist because she now goes into, I graduated high school super early And started culinary school and business classes When I was 16 Of course That's where you find your home in the music and singing department What?

After graduating, I essentially became a multi-near Of mutineer What? She mutineered from From graduating She graduated And then mutineered She mutinied from graduating. She graduated and then mutineered. Yarr, I'm going to

sail the scurvy seas. My dad said I look so cute with my bright blue parrot on my shoulder. Oh, no, I understand now. I read the rest of the sentence, guys. She was suffering. She just got in her car every few months in the middle of the night and drove anywhere just to feel

alive. Oh, God in heaven. However, doing this set me behind in many aspects, but one of my 24-hour drives to somewhere also led me to my amazing best friend and guitarist, Evan Duncan Taylor. Just listen to his name.

How can he not be perfect? I have always been influenced by artists that just drip with truth. I never want to see it. What? I thought I could sneak it past you. Is that an STD? I'm Keith

Olbermann and this is the dripping truth. I'm Keith Olbermann and this is the dripping truth What's that smell sir? How dare you Katie I never want to sing anything that I haven't personally witnessed or experienced happen What? So she sings about nothing at all? And going to the mall and going to culinary classes that my dad

enrolled me in, but I didn't really want to, so I mutineered, and then I just drove all over the place and that was my song. Wait, no. Oh, that doesn't actually say that here. Hang on. Let me start reading again. I always felt like anything I wanted to say was stifled before I could even say it.

Music is an escape. If I can help anyone by saying something they feel like they can't, then I feel like that is where the success is. What's that word? It's all about the feelings, apparently. Well, it's very hard for her to say what I'm feeling when she's not making any goddamn sense. She's got to get together with the kids. I think in sentences. How about you, bitch?

I know what I'm feeling, and now it is not well. I felt like I couldn't really say horribly racist things. So if she says that, we're cool. Succeeded. You can hear about it on her song, Driving, in parentheses, a really long time, in the middle of the night. I just had

so much fun finishing and writing my second EP, The Life of a Pirate. She only will write about things that she's personally witnessed or experienced happen, like her mutinies. Like pirates. Not to mention Evan Duncan Taylor. Oh my god.

Her and Evan Duncan Taylor lived in Somalia for a couple years. I feel just like a pirate. I drove. It should be released in early March. I should have some neat things in order as well for touring starting in spring and moving into all summer. She likes capitalizing

seasons too. I have nothing back in the truth department on this EP, and I hope that people can relate to my experiences in a big way. After all, I don't feel like this is about me. I never want it to be. I am simply part of a crowd. I just want to speak for the whole. We are all in this together. Wait, she would never want to talk about herself.

Yeah. She's only been doing it this entire review. So, Hart, wait a second. Twitter time. I've been waking Andy John up early a lot lately, Ellipsis. I think he's okay with his though period smiley face.

Plus, I get cute points for clubhouse and up to top bunk. Oh. Words! Oh, hey, hey, I took myself to coffee today and wrote some neat little poems. I just shared one with you!

Oh, well, thanks. Welcome. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, revelation. Has anyone else realized that a snuggie is just a robe that never occurred to me in it here i'm wearing one right as she said oh my god we have been watching a grown man hugely intoxicated interpretive dance to 80s rock songs. This is happening.

Frowny face. Ha. Drug people are weird. Don't ever fully invest yourself into a selfish target. My biggest flaw? I care too damn much and I get taken advantage of for it. Aww.

But it's not about me. People lie, and people leave. Always keep a little of yourself back to spend when they run out of faith. I love you all. Oh, thanks. Oh, I realized something major in my life today.

Here we go. Wait, what? I heard something. Oh, and Hanson just came up to me and asked me to help them cook a bunch of barbecue since I went to culinary school. Love them so much. I'm eating a power bar because I'm too exhausted to want

real food, but greedy enough to enjoy power. Boom! Okay. I like this one Considering all the talking she's been doing Long drives make me think too much

I have a follow up for that Shut up brain Also if decided If this whole music thang doesn't work out I will be a WWE wrestler Named gas station devo W slash catchphrase. Y'all be sorry.

That's pretty good. That's pretty easy to pronounce. It's got quite the flow to it. Gas Station Devo W catchphrase. You'll be sorry. Damn. Oh, I love this. I hung out with Nicole Richie today with the Madden Boys. I hit it

off with her just like I knew one day we would. Ha ha. She's been dreaming of this moment. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Barbie's leg just accidentally caressed mine in the van. It was beyond super soft, kind of like a cloud.

I told her she was too polite. And there we go. An effervescent, energetic, pounding drill. Oh, fuck. John, what did you learn this week? Well, what I didn't learn what I already knew was that how crappy music reviews are. I mean, just kind of in general, in my

opinion, but especially these ones on the internet. But what I did learn is that, you know, the unsigned artist parts of a lot of sites are for new, interesting bands, good or bad, to kind of highlight them that may not get some mainstream approval. Apparently I learned that on this site,

they're just mainstream bands that are just looking for their first ad. I mean, they all are just like the kind of stuff you'd hear playing after sitcoms or on TV shows, or just most mediocre gruel just poured right into your ears. Well, that is one of the things

that people don't really think about so much is that you have unsigned bands, and sometimes they are genuinely talented or just kind of weird musicians. But you also have people that just genuinely, the only thing they want is to make it.

And so there are people who listen to bad music and they want to make it, so they just provide bad music along the same lines as the popular stuff that they're familiar with. And then they just wait to make it. Right. And for them, I kind of delight in their tragedy of never making it. It tastes like honey to me. Yes.

Yeah. Some, you know, not everybody deserves a chance. Yeah. It's very true. But we do, and that's why we want you to go to the website, which is thgfdl.us. We got the Facebook. And, yeah, we'll see you next week. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I'm really upset. I should have chosen a really refined corporate voice for this. No, I think anime voices is what they really sound like. Because then I could have segwayed into, you know, the more connected everyone feels, the better the connection to the music will be to that end we've initiated a synergistic say it

yeah yes we've looked to we've looked to take our side competencies and make them our core competencies also synergy our side competencies and make them our core competencies. Also synergy, why not? More synergy.

In order to leverage our strategic vision of searchendizing, crowdsourced initiatives and cloud computing. Following best practices, of course. By providing weekly webisodes, or webinars. Webinars, God, okay, we're done.