The F Plus - 270: A Glove Fetish Is Like A Watch Fetish But With Gloves

Episode Date: December 13, 2017

The World Wide Glove Fetish Association (or WWGFA, for those in the know) is a surprisingly popular forum where the predominantly British members discuss the intricacies of their fetish for gloves while a dedicated group of niche pornographers try to exploit them. This week, The F Plus needs to put on a gas mask before fingering you.

For those who don't know, the story centers around five lesbians who make up the mysterious group called the Fiona Five. They are known for their dramatic style and matching leather opera gloves. I know what to do with it. Hands on the floor, hands on the ground. Hands in the back, you know I'm proud. What I can't do with a stump. The U.S.A. rules are... Hello, and welcome to the F+. An elegant place for terrible things. Red with enthusiasm.

In the room tonight we have Isfahan. We're still together, and she resently moved in with me. Jack, chick. My name is Simon, and I am a six-foot-tall slim male from the UK. Achilles' heels. Thanks, LatexGloveLove69, for follow me and for your kindness. Come quads up! I hate cum on my gloves, and can't even fathom the idea

of wearing gloves over cum stained hands. Now having a girl cum on my bare hands and putting gloves over them, that's a different story. It certainly is. And Lemon, yes, clothing is a necessity. No, leather clothing is not a necessity. No, leather gloves are not a necessity. The latter two, for me, are luxuries.

Hey, F-Plus. Hello. Thank you, Lemon. Lemon, how the heck are you? I'm doing great. Hey, gentlemen, are you feeling horny tonight? Tonight? Uh, yeah, tonight.

Yes, only tonight. It's November 19th. That's the day of the year that I masturbate. Oh, 11-19. Gets me every time. Do you just store it up? Yeah, it's great. I beat off.

It takes 10 minutes and I shoot enough cum to blow the windows out. Because that's physically possible. Rent has gone way down in Jack Chick's life. So that's what he means by to the windows. Okay.

It's like the porno version of that Twisted Sister video. Yeah, no, exactly. I mean, I'm glad that you recognize and understand my influences. Oh, yeah, very much. Well, that's great. So, Jack,

I want to prepare yourself for what is soon to be a very momentous evening. Yeah. Notify your downstairs neighbors. And, uh, no, don't do that. Don't do that. what is soon to be a very momentous evening. Yeah. Notify your downstairs neighbors. No, don't do that. Don't do that. Notify the across-the-street neighbors.

I want to introduce all of you to a real fun site that we're going to be looking at tonight. It's called WWGFA. That's www.wwg called WWGFA. That's www. WWGFA.info. Wookafa. Someone really understands SEO. Yeah, absolutely. So, um, WWGFA is a forum, and it is

a forum for glove fetishes. Yay! Glove fetishists are kind of like earring fetishists. Or watch fetishists. I was just thinking

of how they're the neighbors of the watch fetishists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would assume, I wonder if one of them looks down on the other, like if, or there's a crossover. But yeah, so WWGFA, if you go to the site, above the porno banner header, it says, WWGFA, where glove fetishists go to, well, you know.

Actually, no, I don't. Like, I really don't. Yeah. actually no i don't like i really don't yeah i uh this looks like a really uh cool forum um right now uh there's a logged in as a demon heart leather glove guy 88 and bing and bing bing is also logged in good Good. Good. And yeah, there's a lot of sections in here. There's a, there's a, the, the little glove mansion, the glovely divas den.

Uh, and one forum, which I'm excited about called the glove fetish guide to Tumblr. Yeah. I was looking at that. So that's exciting. It's a document given us to us by Ray Thompson. I think that's two or three from him now, and thank you very much.

But we're going to dig in here to the WWGFA and learn a little bit. So Isfahan, your name is APC. You're an armored personnel carrier, and you have a slightly awkward situation. There's going to be dialogue, and when that happens, Jack-Jack, you are going to be the other person. Okay. All right, my name is Armored Personnel Carrier, and I have a slightly awkward situation.

So I have this girl I know coming down to stay with me for a few days in three weeks' time. I certainly know is keen for some action. Nodding. Emoticon. That's why he's excited about getting laid. Mm-hmm.

And, uh, wow, I'm being up front here. And I'm hoping to con her into wearing some latex medical... I mean, I do appreciate the guy for at least being up front. That's true, that's true, yeah. Wow. I'm hoping to con her into wearing some latex medical gloves for me, as she already

knows about my kink and seems pretty fine with it. Well, then how is that a con? But, okay. I have realized I have a little problem, though. She has tiny hands, and my favorite gloves and automated teller machine are really hard to get

in the excess size, extra small size. Oh, no. Wow. Oh, no. I've watched worse setups for romantic comedies. Okay.

So I did some searching around on Google to try and find a seller and came across only one option. A company based two states away from me. Okay, okay, gotcha. I don't get driving. The website is a tad outdated

and it's difficult to navigate, but anyhow, it appeared that I needed to create a user account, add a phone number, etc. before my purchase. I went ahead, did that, and placed the order right through to the point where I realized that there was no online payment. Wait, what? Okay, this is a weird store.

I think I'm doing something wrong. At the same time, I also noticed this company is mainly for bulk business orders, for dentists, etc. Now I kind of understand a little bit more. So then I opened up... If you're going to commit to your fetish, you're going to buy at least a gross of gloves. So then I opened up a procurement department and... I gotta get these gloves, dammit. No.

I'd had a very long day, got hardly any sleep the night before, so was like, fuck this, I'm going to bed. I cancelled the order, though the site, even though I didn't give them any payment information, headed toward the bedroom, and next minute

the phone rings. I answered to hear a young girl's voice saying Chess from the company I had attempted to place the order in was wondering if I was still interested. Now I could have said no right there and then, but I was thinking I want these gloves, dammit!

Unending parentheses. Parentheses hasn't ended! Unending parentheses strikes again. So the conversation went as follows. Yes, I suppose so. Oh, great. There's just a few problems with the order, though.

You haven't supplied a business name, so what was your business? Hauling ass, getting paid. My business is pleasure. No business just for personal use. Oh. Um, okay. So just for yourself, you said? Yep.

Okay, that's fine. That's fine. I'm pretty sure I can do that for you. Yeah, that's fine. Another problem is that you can't pay online with us yet, so you'll need to do this over the phone. Yes, I tried to do that online with no luck. I don't think he's listening to her. Sorry, we are still working on upgrading our site. Are you happy to pay over the phone?

Yay, sure. Gave details. Well, give details to us damn it the other thing I've noticed is you've only ordered one box of these gloves the delivery on these is gonna cost you the delivery was at least 4x the price of the gloves yeah

are you sure you still want to order through us this guy also thinks the way scripts work is you have to, every time there's a new sentence, you have to name the person speaking again. Yes, that's fine, blushing emoticon. Okay, then, Mel, maybe you could consider buying more than one box to make it worth your while. Nudge, nudge. All right, make it two boxes then. We got ourselves a high roller

over here. Make way for the whale! Two little boxes of these gloves. Blushing emoticon, so that's all sorted then? Yeah! Do you mind me asking how you came to find out about us my boss says i should keep you on the phone while we try to track you

google i had trouble getting extra small size gloves of this brand on ebay you seem to be the only store in the country that has them. I should have just stopped at Google. Oh! Fair enough, then. Oh, by the way, this guy's Australian, so... Right. Okay. So this company called

him over, like, an abandoned shopping cart? Yeah! Yeah, if you were the kind of business that was doing over like an abandoned shopping cart. Yeah. Yeah. If you were the kind of business that was doing like large corporate orders, I could see you doing that. Yeah, that really is white glove service.

Oh. Oh, boy. You know, Kumquat, it loses some of the magic when you give your own setup. But you got to take what you can get. Yeah, so then you go on for a little while, but will you just tell me about these gloves? I just need to hear about these gloves. Yeah, let's get to the good stuff, folks. Okay, anyway, the good news is I'll be getting the damn gloves.

For those who may be interested, these, the gloves, please see the pictures. Oh yeah, absolutely. Info about them. Very thin latex. They are reasonably low quality. Funny that they are called Qualatex. Is that good? It's a different smell.

What? Is low quality good? Well, apparently, because, like, he was searching high and low for these specific gloves. She's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So we're the only supplier who sells these and they're garbage. What? They know they're the only game in town.

Trashy girls love trashy gloves. They're a different smell, sort of a vanilla starchy type smell. Maybe a little off-putting for some people. If you run them underwater, it will get the latex rubber smell back. And they're very soft. The soft, thin texture of them is what makes them so good for me.

Look great on a girl with nails. Why does that matter? Oh, I guess if they're latex. So what about girls without... What are girls without nails? Who has... What girls do you know? Get the fuck out.

They aren't really too special, but I find it really hard to get... I date women that don't have fingernails. I date the lepers. They aren't really too special, but I find it really hard to get latex disposable gloves these days that aren't too too special, but I find it really hard to get latex disposable gloves these days that aren't too thick and high quality

without going down the sterile surgical glove road. We've all been down that road before. Yeah, sure. Really, it's the only road I've ever known. How many sterile surgical glove roads must a man walk down? Before you can call him a perv.

So these do it for me, Grins. Hope you enjoyed my little bit of embarrassment, ha ha. Well, you know, I feel like your own particular glove fetish take on embarrassment is not quite what I would expect. Because I've seen some of the avatars on this website. But we're going to move on from here. And, Kaleas Healys, your name is Some Guy.

And, Some Guy, you have a story that you want to tell us, right? Yeah. Is there something you're looking forward to? Oh, I'm so excited. Why is that? Well, so a couple weeks ago, my girlfriend's friend Mary was staying in from out of town.

She was staying with us and to my surprise, she was gorgeous. Also an Asian girl. My girlfriend is Japanese for those who don't know. Come on, it's a tight-knit community. We all know each other.

I'm just smashing all my fetishes together. Boy, everything about this so far is my favorite thing. I had to get extra large gloves to fit over the whole anime body pillow. I joked around with my girlfriend that we should get married to wear gloves a lot,

which my girl shrugged off with good humor. I'm going to assume that the girlfriend knows about your fetish then? Because why else would you bring that up with her? I just, you know, I'm just a glove guy, so... Hey, girlfriend, your friend's staying over. I'd really like to sexually objectify her. Is that okay with you? Well, there's one problem.

Only one. Oh, no. Okay. Just one. Well, not necessarily a problem for me. Was that it... Oh, right. But she's about to have a problem for me. Was that it started... Alright, but she's about to have a problem. Was that it

started getting ridiculously cold, and she hadn't brought me cold weather gear. None of my girlfriend's gloves would fit her. Her hands were bigger. But I had an old pair of black cotton gloves with iPhone touch fingertips that shrunk in the laundry.

Ooh. What? What's happening right now? What's happening right now? I don't know. So I let her borrow those, which she was very thankful for. She wore them every time she went out. We even held hands a couple times. Don't worry.

My girlfriend was fine with it. Glasses. Okay. My girlfriend wears moisture gloves to bed practically every night. She has two pairs, one of which is kind of old, so she doesn't

wear them much. Image. I asked her to ask Mary to wear them while we were watching TV but she refused I practically begged her but she wasn't having it God what a creep so I let it go sat there in between them I'd actually brought both pairs of gloves and hand cream up earlier

so I got an idea when you had the idea did you give like a Grinch style grin to the camera? Yeah, and there was also a light bulb above my head held in a glove. You're a mean one, Mr. Perf.

I began to give my girl a hand massage. I ended up using the cream to rub her hands really well. Mary took note of it, saying it looked soothing. After I finished giving my girlfriend a hand massage, I put her usual moisture gloves on her, which she accepted. So these are both... notice the progression of events first he put the gloves on her

then she accepted deal with it because what's actually going on is these are both real dolls I'm pretty sure I asked Mary if she wanted a hand massage and she eagerly said yes you bet yeah she sure did if she wanted a hand massage. And she eagerly said yes.

Yep, you bet. Yeah, she sure did. Boy, she did. She came immediately. Then the whole living room applauded. I put my hand on top of her head and moved it up and down so it looked like she was nodding. So I used the moisture cream and rubbed her hands really well, which she really liked.

Yeah. Yeah, she did. Yeah, she loved it. Afterwards, I took the older pair of moisture gloves and placed them on her hands. They were really tight on her, but she liked them. Commenting, they were... Wow, sloppy glove seconds. Awesome. They were really tight on her, but she liked them. Commenting they were... Wow, sloppy glove seconds. Awesome.

They were smooth and felt soothing. She definitely needs some soothing right now. So, both the girls ended up keeping the gloves on the entire night, watching TV. Oh, yeah. Wow. Mary at some point checked her emails on her computer with the white gloves on. Needless to say, it was turning me on to no end. Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. Okay, a couple things strike me. One of them is the girlfriend knows that this dude is like this i feel like it's really irresponsible of her to be like oh no just let my boyfriend put these gloves on you he won't be terrible afterwards yeah all these really super real people no i know that's what i'm saying i know that they're real and you're telling a real story of the thing that actually happened i also love that this is specifically not a hand fetish. Like, he was physically rubbing

her hands with cream. And that was not a turn. And he was like, yeah, means to an end, because then I can put the glove on her. Yeah, that was just a setup. Then those gloves were on a keyboard and I fucking came. Meanwhile, Mary's thinking like, hmm, this stayover sure is

more heavily glove themed than any other thing I've ever done As it was time for bed, Mary went to sleep with her gloves on Yeah, she did Yeah That dirty little glove slut Like, yeah, that dirty little glove slut.

Even call, like, do we, is there a glossary? Do we have, do we have glove language? Uh, sure. I think so. This, this, this forum seems to be pretty, uh, pretty deep. So yeah, look around. I'm sure there's a glossary there. My girlfriend and I went to bed.

She thought I was being a little crazy about the gloves, but admitted that Mary liked them. Oh my god. We had sex as silently as possible and got some shut-eye. Again, again, fucking is a third of a sentence. That's not the focus here. I put a thing in her.

Whatever. The next morning, my girlfriend went to work while I got up later. Oh, yeah! I don't work. I just glove. While I got up...

While I got up later greeting Mary in the morning, she had kept the gloves on. Seeing her stretch out of bed, what, I guess I'm there. You're watching her get out of bed? Holy shit. Yeah, he's Edward from Twilight.

It's very romantic. My apartment is a closet. Seeing her stretch out of her bed with her white covered hands was amazing! But she took them off and proceeded to have some breakfast. Mary commented

she really liked the gloves. She was very self-conscious about her hands and felt like this would help a lot. So I told her I'd buy her a pair just for her. I also walked her to the train station. My very own pair of gloves? Oh, my God.

I'm going to cry. It's probably not the first time you cried tonight. I also walked her to the train station, giving her the warm cotton gloves. Holding her hand with the gloves on felt nice. Nice. Later, my girlfriend and I stopped by a shop, and I picked up some moisture gloves for Mary.

I kind of forgot about them, but she reminded Mary about them as a gift later. I think she's trying to hand you off to somebody else. Mary was very happy to have a pair for herself. Before bed, she put some moisture cream on, and I slipped the gloves on her.

They were... Oh, yeah. She can do it herself, huh? Oh, yeah. You have to let me put the gloves on, damn it. You wouldn't know how to do it! They were perfect for her hands. So tight and cute.

The next morning, she admitted that she planned to wear the gloves every night when she got back home. Because latex gloves are so comfortable to have on your hands. People just love them. Yeah, obviously. I wish I could say this ended up in a glove threesome. But it didn't. Wishful thinking. Wow.

I even joked about this to my girlfriend, who playfully scolded me, and even to Mary, who laughed it off. What? Yeah. You said, hey, wouldn't it be funny if we had a threesome while wearing these gloves? Ha ha ha ha ha. Laughing is the thing where people scream and run away from you, right? Anyway, she left for the airport taking the gloves with her, and I told her she could keep the winter cotton gloves as well.

Oh, that's nice. That was definitely a fun week. Needless to say, my girlfriend and I fucked like animals when she was gone. A fun week. Needless to say, my girlfriend and I fucked like animals when she was gone. A fun week. My girl weighing au pair length satin gloves. Oh, their regulation. Yeah. Au pair length.

No, no, no. They're the length of, like, a foreign nanny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I gotta say, so while you were reading that, I was trying to sign up for the WWGFA forums,

which hasn't worked. The email has not come through. But the one thing that I did notice is when you set up an account, there's a thing where you can choose the language, and the default is British English. You know, maybe

it's such an exclusive club, they're just not taking any new members. Oh, that makes sense. You wouldn't want to dilute everything. Because everyone wants to get in. Well, Lemon, have you read the rules forum, of which there are three different posts that all have

a shitload of comprehensive rules about posting on the forums. To get in, your father has to be a glove fetishist. It's like a stonecutter kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Kumquats up. Oh, yes.

I think we need to get this a little bit more explicit. So what do you have for us? Well, my name is Greeners. Green Wires. Green, Green, Greeners. Greeners. Greeniers. Mm-hmm.

Here's our first word. I would like to talk about rubber gloves, gas masks, and more. Hooray! And my location is the UK, in case you were wondering. Mm-hmm. Hooray! And my location is the UK, in case you were wondering. For years, I've wanted to get my missus to wear rubber gloves and gas mask to finger me.

Yay! All right, all right. Okay. You got my seatbelt on, here we go. A few days ago, it got closer than ever. She didn't shake her head quite as hard. And she continued making the Sunday roast and other British things. We have discussed that I want her to finger me. To which she has agreed to try.

To try? Okay. I'll see if I can figure this out. just don't understand the mechanics of it, really. Yeah. Had to take a Khan Academy course on it. Tab A, slot B, okay. The other night, I had her wearing her

kinky basque. Yes, she has a small basque man that she wears. Yeah, he's wearing a big black beret. Like a separatist? Yeah, but that basque separatist is a fucking pervert. A kinky basque,

stockings, thigh-high leather boots, long red rubber gloves, and red PVC apron. So, you got her to wear all of that? Okay. The fingering means beer.

But the whole fingering you think, she could not figure it out. Quick update here, a basque is apparently a corset. Oh, okay. Wow. Well, I wore my elbow-length emperor

rubber gloves. Were they invisible? I don't know that emperors need rubber gloves. No, they do. Standard in Rome. It's just an emperor. It's like Charlemagne just scrubbing a sink

There's lots of stuff In like the 40k lore About the show For the emperor's gloves I tied her to the bed On top of her black PVC sheet What? Jesus Christ

That's totally normal, but she's totally... Jesus Christ. This sounds like standard British sex as far as I understand it. They need Prince Charles right here. So. Every morning when they wake up,

they need like a liter of water to replace all the water they sweated out overnight. Also, there's an awful lot of not-glove talk happening. And I don't know if I'm interested. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, well, well, excuse me. I fingered her until she squirted all over me and the bed. Oh, see, that's why it's penis. Oh, my God.

Next, I started to finger her arse. But before I did, I put on my gas mask. That's an act of aggression. That's pretty insulting. Was that just like a prescient forethought? It's gonna get real terrible in here. Let me prepare myself. She farts mustard gas.

She farts mustard gas. I... It's the first time I've worn it in front of her. Oh, so they're newlyweds. Right. But I was hoping she would also try on hers if I did.

Okay, so she has her own gas mask and she's never worn it. Yeah. Right, right, right. Unfortunately, this is unfortunate. Right. She decided it would be a step too far for her this time. But did say she for her this time. But did say she probably would next time.

So, PVC, black PVC sheets, uh, ass fingering, gas mask, but if she wants to put on a gas mask, oh, that's too kinky for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta ease him into it, Isfahan. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta ease him into it, Isfahan. Oh, yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I finger her arse. And then, her pussy again. Hooray! Hopefully with the same hand. Yeah, well, you know. It's, uh...

Around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world. She squirted again. This time, on the visor of my gas mask. Double thumbs up, Smiley Face. Yahtzee! We got all the fetishes. Yatzee We got all the fetishes And then he had sex

So we don't need to hear about that We don't need to That seems bad Excuse me Excuse me Afterwards I asked if me wearing my gas mask Excuse me. Excuse me. Yes, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Afterwards, I asked if me wearing my gas mask bothered her, to which she replied no, but she did ask why I wanted her to wear one. I told her that there was three reasons.

Number one, because I find the thought of her and me and gas mask rubber gloves etc sexy yeah i don't think that really is answering the question though because i'm bothered about having an accident while she's fingering me and don't want her to smell it if I do. That's not how gas masks work. Yeah, that really isn't. Number three, no, no, no, no. Number three, if I do have an accident while she's fingering, I don't want to stop! Well,

now you're like, you're just doubling down on all the existing fetishes there. Hello, F+. Ja, hello. My name is Seeketh Angels. Ja, hello. I want to tell you a story called My Sorrowful Life.

My latest girlfriend. No. My lastest girlfriend. My lastest girlfriend abandoned me. I'm sad. Very sad. Ach du lieber. Finally, I was abandoned again.

I came back from Germany to my country. What? Okay. Which is Germany. Right, right, right. My girlfriend was here, waited for me. It was a long time that I was with her. I brought some pairs of gloves

for her. I brought back, I brought them through customs. Okay. A spandex pair, an HM black leather pair, and one pair that was long leather opera gloves of

manufacturer Bithards. Yes, absolutely. Yes. I was sure that I would have the first experience about gloved sex with my girlfriend of my life. It was and is always

difficult to tell somebody about my fetish. I just prefer to leak it in very uncomfortable ways. I never tell them about my fetish. I just go, oh, I have an idea while fucking. Just like a man leaking when he's being fingered by someone wearing a gas mask. That's my biggest fear. Every time we had sex, I really, really, really wanted to ask her wearing gloves.

I tried, but she maybe didn't get it and said no need. I was bored and have no excitement about sex. I am sorry, secret angels. I do not seize utility of this. He's like, I got an idea. Let's wear gloves. Nah, I don't think that's good. Well, then, like, literally never mind sex, then?

Yeah, what's the fucking point? Although I love her. Always love her, so. Then, what will happen must happen. She I love her. Always love her. So then, what will happen must happen. She said goodbye yesterday. Yes, of course, I was very sad at this moment, but even worse, when we came to

the parking place, then that was the first time I saw that she wore the long spandex gloves for UV protecting! That harlot. And now somebody's gonna photoshop you eating

watermelon. Now she's out of the town! I don't know how you guys feel it, or have ever had such, or have you ever had such a versed feeling like me, but it's not just sad, It hurts!

Badly painfully. I just wanted to cry, then beg her to come back with me, but I could not because we were in capital public. I'm feeling bad, very bad right now. I still love her and miss her, and I miss the experience, which I haven't had a chance to have it. How can you miss it? Also, the X and the C key are right next to each other, so maybe they were in Publix.

Any mistyping. It's also in Publix, though. Well, it's a capital P. Just want to kill myself now. I'm speaking the truth. Thanks for listening. My favorite response to it is a couple down. A guy from Amsterdam says, as for killing yourself, you wouldn't want to do that before having experienced club sex now, would you?

So, Lemon, it's funny that you mentioned that guy. That's that's Rommel TJE. He is, in fact, the head of the forum. Oh, good, good. Keep in the peace, yeah. I actually just looked up what that means in Dutch, and Rommel is the word for trash. Yay!

He is a trash fetishist, everybody. Splints of gloves. fetishists everybody. Nice. Splints of gloves. Hey, Jack Chick, come quats up. Just found something in the board index

sandbox experiences. Can you read that, please? My girlfriend cleans my penis in a day. A small pedacer. Oh, I guess I could. I guess it kind of is. That's fair. Now that are. Oh, I guess I could. I guess it kind of is. That's fair.

Yeah, kind of. Okay. Now I think about it, it's fine. One of the things that more me crazy is when my girlfriend cleans my penis in the bidet. I'm in the bidet and my girlfriend turns on the tap. In the bidet? What? Yeah, in the bidet like you do.

Yeah. I'm four inches tall. I'm Tom Thumb and I love gloves. No, he's just part of the competitive bidet sitting circuit where you try to grab as much of your body in the bidet as possible. Wash your ass! Wash your ass! Wash your ass! Wash your ass! She puts behind sitting on a stool and passes her gloved hands by the sides up to my penis. Refreshes my penis with her wet gloves and then she puts soap and she rubs my glands.

Go on. I don't want to. I need to hear about this entirely erotic thing. The feeling is incredible. In addition, she slowly rubbed my glands while I am increasingly excited. Best of all is when I came to orgasm and she covered my mouth so not scream.

Yay! She used the Spontex bathroom orange gloves. Oh, now I can't. Whoa! Spontex bathroom orange gloves. Oh, now I can't. Whoa. Whoa. Spontex, you say? He holds a box of gloves up next to his face.

I love these gloves because I're long, and when I see them on the hands of my girlfriend, I go crazy. I love her so much, she understands me and makes my fetish reality. Oh. Here are some photos of a person wearing gloves. This post has been boosted on Facebook. Yeah, and then there's like, and then there's photos of just a woman washing the gloves in a very industrial looking is that the bidet?

There's only gloves. You can't tell who's wearing them. Yeah, you're right about that. Jack, please read the thing underneath the photos. When the roughness of my girlfriend gloves touch my glands lipsis period space period period. Oh. Period. Period.

Oh, wow. Excellent. Okay, so... Ooh, wow. Okay, so we're going to get into a little bit of drama now. A little bit of drama. It's going to be good. So, I think, Achilles, you get to make a decision here. Would you like to start us off in one of these two threads? The first is hidden glove confessions. And the second is surprised by my girlfriend.

Well, I guess I haven't heard enough of men being terrible to women yet, so surprised by my girlfriend! Hooray! Alright, I think we're about to... Oh yeah, okay, there's gonna be a gloved hand holding a dick, so just prepare yourself for that. But your name is David R.F., and inspect and delete image. There we go. Fantastic. Oh, boy. And, yep.

David RF is, in fact, who was the last guy. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, yeah, you're from Barcelona, and tell me about your story, please. Oh, from Barcelona. Yesterday, I was surprised by my girlfriend in the bathroom.

I was peeing when my girlfriend in the bathroom. I was peeing when my girlfriend came up behind me and she took my penis with her gloved hands. She was wearing the gloves that I like most, the rubber gloves for washing dishes. She told me that if I wanted that she will help me to urinate.

When my penis was among her gloved hands, I removed the urge to urinate. Your penis went backpacking in the gloved hand nation for you. My girlfriend is a machamp. I started to have a strong erection. A woman put behind you and she take your penis with her gloved hands is the most amazing. My penis?

My penis? Yeah. Okay. I was, I wonder what happened that night. It was most amazing. At the same time as she rubbed my penis, she held me firmly by my buttocks. How many hands does she have?

The feeling was so intense that I down on my knees to the ground she continued my girlfriend is goro yeah she continued rubbing my penis i didn't want to ejaculate too quickly and then i hold a little her gloved hand to slow down the movement i asked my girlfriend if she could get wet her gloves and put a little soap in them. While she did, I was trembling. My penis was throbbing, and I just wanted to let my girlfriend should continue the treatment. At that time, all my strength was concentrated in a point, and I had lost control!

Ah! Man. My girlfriend. I never thought it would happen to me. Usually so reserved. Usually when I'm in the bidet, I'm very reserved. My girlfriend had the power over my body. Oh, my God.

Her gloves wet in my glands produced an enormous pleasure. My glands was very red. It was embarrassed. I had an irrepressible desire to ejaculate in her gloved hands. I did everything possible to avoid ejaculating. Really. I wanted to

be a long time as well. I cuddled with my girlfriend. I told her that I love you while she was massaging my penis with her gloves. She gave me a kiss, and I finally did it explode, and I ejaculate in her gloves. Yay! Wait, inside? Like, did she tuck it inside the wrist?

I assume. Yeah. Actually, that photo says otherwise. I deleted that. She told me while I was ejaculating, good boy, very well give to your girl. She does not speak English as well as I do.

David from Barcelona, Spain. Thanks, David. Hi, I'm Rommel T. David from Barcelona, Spain. Thanks, David. Hi. Hey, what is... Hi. Hi, I'm Rommel G. Oh, you're the moderator of this site.

Hey, how's it going, Edmund? I am. Your girlfriend is the best. You're a very lucky man. Are those the gloves? Is that a Spanish brand? What are they called? So exotic.

I must begin my quest. Someone's taking a trip to Barcelona. Yep. My name is Caterjicat. Caterjicat. Bramultajay. The gloves are the Astra Supreme gloves. Very difficult

to find nowadays. I'm a glove aficionado. Right. Now I see. There's a little bit of that characteristic ribbed cuff at the top of the picture. Thanks. My name's the picture. Thanks.

My name's Ray Ray. Wow. It is always my dream. My GF holding my cock gloved when I am peeing. Oh God. And then Black Haya post next. What are y'all doing in these gloves?

What are y'all doing in these gloves? Well, that's filthy. And then Black Haya finds the photo that David RF posted, like, on a fetish site to demonstrate that this story didn't happen and this is actually just a porn shot. Detective Glovedick is on the case. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Detective Glovedick. And then, uh, and then, uh, wait, where was that? Um, uh,

yeah, and then, and then, uh, and then Rommel TG back in there. Ha ha! Busted! And David RF? Care of the photo was only added to animate the experience. Not a photograph of myself

with my girlfriend. Nice. Ja ja. Well done. Well, he never said, here is a picture of it happening. It's just, here's a picture. So, plausible deniability. Absolutely.

Yeah, that was the same thing that happened in the last thread that we were reading, where clearly, like, he would have posted a photo where, because the gloves were cropped, like, the photo were cropped. And so, like, there was clearly a photo that was up there earlier where there was, like, it was obvious that it was a man's hands. But, yeah, Kumqu man's hands. But yeah, Kumquatsop, what did you just find there? Wearing gloves and underpants! Wearing gloves in underpants? In underpants. You put the underpants inside the underpants.

No, my name is LatexGlover01 and I would like to talk to you about wearing gloves in underpants. Great. Do so, please. Okay. Has anyone tried the following? Putting a rubber glove in your underpants? No. What?

No, I have not. Next question, please. No, that was obviously you say yes, because and if so, for how long can you resist? Resist what? Putting gloves in my underpants? I'm already there. My God. Resist taking them out of the underpants?

Yeah. No. I do this regularly with the yellow rubber household glove. I put the cuff of the glove between my legs with the fingers up over my penis and then pull you my pants. Why? After a while, it becomes wet, sweat, and pre-con. The feeling is great. To be honest, I can resist for several hours.

Resist what? What are you talking about? I'm talking about wearing gloves and underpants. Jack, does Rommel have any experience with that? wearing gloves and underpants. Jack, does Rommel have any experience with that? Well, I used to do that, but only to sneak gloves from one vase to another. I was a glove mule in Mexico.

It's like the smuggling compartment. My name is Rubber Milked. I remember doing this with rubber households when I was a kid, like the others, sneaking then from the kitchen to my bedroom. It felt great. I have a sneaking suspicion it must kind of make a noise, though. You don't say. Kinda make a noise, though? You don't say.

Nowadays, I do enjoy putting a glove over my penis. The way the cuff edge caresses my balls... What? Nope. Just not even... Not just my balls, though. The caresses my balls and cratch is an awesome sensation. I wouldn't tend to have underpants on at this

point, though. Angel smiley face. Yeah, and the rest of them totally agree. Everyone else that responds to this thread is like, yeah, totally. We all do that. That is super good. Love it. Man man I never would have expected a fetish set

to be gross see like we were all what? what are you talking about? and everybody on this site is like oh yeah yeah I do that of course

amateur I immediately understood what you were saying and document once again given to us by Ray Thompson. Thanks a bunch for that. But this section called Experiences, we're going to close with this one.

And Isfahan, you have a question that you want to ask us, please? Yeah, are there... Do you guys think any other fetishes besides gloves? No, no. We've evolved past that. We've found the one perfect fetish.

Which you fucking need it. This was a post that got me banned. My name is Shiny Glove Lover. Shiny Glove Lover. Like the title says, does anyone have any other fetishes besides gloves? Apart from gloves, I myself am into corsets, boots, plastic pool floaties, and PVC raincoats. Nice. Nice.

Raincoats are my passion. I have over 150 in my collection. Holy shit. Nice. Wow. You're more of a raincoat fan. Wow, do you bring people over to see your collection? I have a raincoat museum. I live in a giant stack of raincoats. Wow Do you bring people over to see your collection?

I have a raincoat museum I live in a giant stack of raincoats Yeah I love I love anything in PVC though We're going to be honest here I have several PVC dome umbrellas I even have a thin layer of PVC Sheeting I lay on the bed and I

Lucked out and found several shower curtains that resemble the PVC umbrella material. Welp, just gonna need to open this beer here. So imagine you walk into this guy's house and it looks like he's getting ready to kill somebody and then dump them. There's just PVC everywhere. It's less horrifying, but weirder. No, no, no. I'm just a fetishist actually that might make it worse anyway so so what do you think is grosser uh murder or

horrific fetishes yeah no i'm a murderer that's what if i told you the reason I have PVC all along the floor is not because I'm about to kill you? Anyway, I have two of, yeah, I lucked out and found several shower curtains that resemble the PVC umbrella material. I have two of those I use as bed covers. I just wake up dehydrated for some reason. And two in my toy box on standby in case those two break down maybe. I don't like that word. Where he keeps his dolls.

I have also I have also have some rubber wear, several gimp hoods, rolls of plastic in different thickness. Anyone who can top this would make me feel not strange. So this is like PVC fetish breakdance fighting, I guess. Yeah, you must fall over a lot inside his house.

Hi, I'm Kelly Jane. Ooh, I love raincoats as well, especially brightly colored shiny ones. Also probably unusually, I have a real fetish for dental braces, especially headgear. Ooh, good. So you're just like unattractive things. No, he just likes that. Just love thyself is all. Yeah, fair enough.

Hi, I'm PinkRoverGloves. I'm from Alberta, Canada. I like full lingerie sets, rubber boots, certain size sales only. Strap-ons. Realistic dildos. You know. Yeah, now. And, uh, come quest up. What do you like?

My name's Nurse Nico. I like amateur dentistry, amateur surgery, amateur proctology, amateur gynecology. You get it. Oh, dear. I just don't like professionals. I get that you belong in jail, for sure.

I tell everybody I do this for free, but they never take me up on the offer. Yeah, once you get paid for doing that, you're just a sellout, you know. That's true. that's true. For the love of the proctology craft. My name's Tight Gloves. I like surgical gloves. Tight gloves, you know, anyway. Especially with sleeves tucked in and thin, tight, latex, nitrite gloves.

Again, it was besides gloves. Yeah yeah what non-glove fetishes do you have i like gloves i like gloves uh i like sweat in transparency i would very much like vinyl gloves but they aren't very tight i like liquid leggings uh maybe that's a thing? I don't know. Shiny sweatsuits. Sweatpants tucked into tight socks. What? What? What? I just like it when Nana's comfortable. That's all.

I ever tuck my sweatpants. I ever tuck my sweatsuit pants if it is not very hot. I like condoms. I like latex pool socks. What is that? Latex pool socks? What? I don't.

Well, I don't. Because there's like those shoes that you can wear at the pool. And I think that some of them might be tight. Like aqua socks? Yeah, I think so, right? I don't know. I mean, I think so, right? I don't know. I mean, I'm not an expert.

I'm sorry. But medical glove lover is Achilles. What is medical glove lover like? Well, my other fetishes in no particular order are doctors slash nurses, male and female, condoms, male and female, lingerie, stockings, panties, And female. Condoms. Male and female. Lingerie. Stockings. Panties.

Medical play slash sex. Pregnant. Okay. She-males. Strap-ons. Bisexual males. Anthropomorphic animals. Males.

And female. Interracial sex. Vampires. Rubber. And latex. animals, males, and female. Interracial sex, vampires, rubber, and latex. You sound fun. It's impossible to play one of these things that's not like the other. Yeah.

It just, there is something very funny though. It's like, I also like it when black dudes do it with white ladies. Well, I love male and female. Check out my Tumblr, Lover of Gloves. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Okay. Wow, there's even more. ComeQuotStop, what is Bear75 like? Yes, yes, my name is Bear75. I'm finding out more about my fetishes. Other than gloves is smoking. I was kinda hesitant about saying

I know smoking is bad. I used to smoke when I was younger, but I quit when I got pregnant. Then one night long too long ago I was at a cookout, and I had a cigarette while wearing gloves Oh yeah I just happened to look down

And saw the cigarette Between my gloved fingers And I got all tingly inside And I thought it looked very hot May sound crazy Boots are also interesting me interesting

boots has to move now he's very interesting my name is Gloved Imperator the I guess the 19th yeah the 19th boy boy Gloved Imperator the, uh, I guess the 19th. Yeah, the 19th. Boy, boy, Gloved Imperator has many, many, many,

many, many fetishes to share. I come from a long line of perverts. And look at where they're from! This was the thread he was looking for. Oh, hey, he's north of the Twin Cities, so that's, I don't know. Canada. Yeah. Why not? He doesn't say how far north.

Oh boy. Sex dolls, generally speaking, but inflatable blow-up dolls, more specifically, are my second most potent fetish. That's my favorite kind of blow-up dolls are all that stuff. I have about 12

blow-up dolls of various types. Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry types and whether or not I'm into them. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But I just noticed that you were talking about how much you love blow-up dolls, which is just funny

and just in general. But he says, my favorite kind of blow-up dolls have the classic arms-out-come-hither pose. You know. That pose. You know. Fat pose, arms out, come hither.

Not the one that's very, very easy to manufacture. Look, Lemon, I don't think you know blow-up dolls the way he does. Well, that's definitely true. I don't think anybody knows blow-up dolls the way he does. I kind of assumed people bought a blow-up doll and went, oh, this sucks

and then that was it. Not this guy. I have about 12 of various types. Whenever I'm not in too much of a hurry to play with them, like if I plan to cuddle, sleep, or watch a movie with one of them, I dress them up

always in gloves and often a nice play of trombress and pearls, you know. Do you think this guy looks down on the people who have real dolls? Yes. They're wasting their damn money. There are definitely factions, I can assure you of that. How many prom dresses do you think this guy owns?

Oh, you know, I get a new one every year, don't ask. I also have a teddy Babe Deluxe Lisa, a life-size plush doll, and another... Oh, so he does actually own the fuck dolls. Those are the discount real dolls. I'm saying plush.

So, you know. I had no idea how short she was when I got her. She's like four foot even. What does that mean? What did you do to her? Candy... The legs get in the way, all right? Oh, God.

God, I'm creepy. Candy 18 Jessica. At a glance, she looks like a miner until you look down. Hey, hey, it's fine. I got a question. Oh, good. There's a picture of it. Yay. Hey, Isfahan, I got a question. Oh, good, there's a picture of it. Yay. Ooh, God. Now I understand why I said plush.

No, Jessica Rabbit, no. He wasn't lying about plush, also. Oh, my God. Hey, Isfahan, I have a question for you. What's the nice thing about having a glove fetish and a doll fetish? Oh, the nice thing about having a glove fetish and a doll fetish? Oh, the nice thing about having a glove fetish and a doll fetish is that of the 300 plus pairs of gloves I have, the majority being vintage or too small for my hands. So my sex dolls can wear them.

Cabbage patch emoticon fun ensues. That is the nice thing. That's really... How lucky. Well, the people who used to own them don't need them anymore. I made sure of that. And how many prom dresses have you held on to? Oh, well, you know, they kind of come with the gloves when you think about it.

Unfortunately, when I did the whole glove purge thing, ooh, that was an interesting choice of words. I mentioned in my intro topic back in, like, 2003 I purged all the gorgeous dresses that fit me. And let me tell you, they were irreplaceable. I just remembered I also purged about six blow-up dolls, too.

Does anybody else hear goodbye horses playing in the background? Why do you keep posting these pictures, Jack Chick? Don't do that. I'm just... Nobody look at Discord. I'm going to delete these. I didn't even post the nude one.

So here's the amazing thing about Glo uh gloved imperiator the 19th is he posts this huge fucking thing and then somebody goes oh that's interesting and he goes oh well lucky you oh somebody paid attention to me another post that's three times longer Oh my god! It has a Fallout picture at the end? His alter ego is Gloved Imperator the 19th of the 49th Gloved Republic in Fallout. Would you describe to me

what his character is wearing on his hands? Look it, he's wearing fake hands over his hands. Yeah, he is. Oh god. Wait, has is. Oh, God. Wait, has anyone looked for Hulk hands yet? Fallout 4 is such that it lets you design nearly every element. This is the last post in the thread.

The last thing I say in the last post. Fallout 4 is such that it lets you design nearly every element of your character's facial features, and to a much lesser degree, his or her body type. So, though I don't look like that in real life, I actually don't have a cyborg eye. That's how I visualized myself during this playthrough of the game, and I have a smoking fetish

apparently shrugged. Wow. The most offensive thing, I think, is that you aligned with the Legion. I mean, that's not okay. Where was the... Oh, shit. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm scrolling up just for a sec there in that post.

Do you personally like the term slave? No, I don't personally like the term slave. Also also i am not nor will i ever be property uh that's important because for me as a handmaid i'm old yeah i read the handmaid's Tale and I was like, this is a sex book. I'm always Natasha when I'm practicing BDSM.

It is a position I desire, and one my mistress slash master and I mutually agree upon in our contract of bondage. Thus, in that regard, we are equals, though she slash he is by all rights my superior, and I am her slash his, well, whore, winky face. He also explains later on, because when he talks about his fallen obsession, that he makes it so that his character is always smoking a cigarette.

He's played it for seven solid days, and he makes sure that he's always got lucy's on him so that he can so they can smoke cigarettes at all times oh great um so that section uh once again ray thompson uh that section was called experiences uh there's the next section uh which is just called somebody posted a novel length sailor moon fanfic oh good good which and which we don't need to read but it's nice and it wasn't called Somebody Posted a Novel-Length Sailor Moon Fanfic. Oh, good. Good. Which we don't need to read, but it's a nice thing to know. And it wasn't Gonterman?

It's rated M. There are 30 chapters, 121,510 words. And it's called Sailor Moon Fanfic Lesbian Story with Gloved Content. No. No, no. It's called Sailor Moon only love can conquer hate.

Oh, okay, okay. The subtitle is sex story with gloved content. So the very last section in here Jesus jesus never mind jesus never mind the very last section was called people who feel really guilty about their glove related fetishes and not guilty enough about other things things but it got a little dire so instead uh so then this thread uh come close up you just

found this this is called the great no glove love challenge the greatest challenge of all no glove love that's not that's not the way that i've heard that, but... What? What? Why is this so long, and what the fuck is it? Well, yes, you see, my name is Cinderin Elf. Of course it is. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. A couple months back, Claire and I got talking about seeing how long we could go without gloves

as a part of our bedroom routine. So is that Seinfeld episode? It didn't bother me if we stopped it for a little while as I didn't put them on all the time, unlike her. As soon as she felt a little

frisky, she would put on a pair. That would be Claire, the very real person I'm talking about. Absolutely. It eventually ended up being that no gloves were to be had in the house for

any activity so as to limit temptation. Oh, oh, wow. How great. I would often go for a ride. She would join. And of course we would wear our Mton bike gloves. But seeing as we were going

the whole hog, I would have to go ride barehanded for the first time in years. I was feeling pretty good about this challenge. And while this wasn't a no masturbation slash sex challenge, this would still make things interesting for Claire at least, considering she would get off the gloves just about every time.

Then she throws a curveball at me. What's that? Yeah. Yeah. She said to make things a little more fair, she would put away the fake ears and costumes and pull down any posters and put away anything that contained characters with pointy ears!

Wow. So, you're not the only person she threw a curveball at just now. I even had to change my phone and computer wallpaper. The posts on this forum do all of this great sleight of hand magic. Yeah. Well, of course they do.

Also, this was here the whole time. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, god, yeah. And this goes on for about, I don't know, four pages of... Absolute fucking nonsense.

Uh, can you maybe read from My Favorite Thing? My favorite thing is having her suck me off while she wears elf ears! So I get her to do that until I get close to the orgasm,

the let it all over the fake elf ears. Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm going to come in your prosthetic elf ears yes yes I'm going to come in your prosthetic elf ears that would make you permanently deaf hooray

I get her to clean herself up and have her take off the gloves punishment number two was getting her up in the bedroom and put on a pair of long, opera-length white gloves.

The longest I'll ever she had. And I was going to tie her hands behind her back. That sounds great. That sounds great. That sounds great, except for I want to know what happened when you bent her over the bed. Can you tell me what happened when you bent her over the bed?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Eventually, I bent her over the bed, widened her stance, and had my way with her. She would give cues as to how hard slash rough I could go with her, thrusting harder, pulling hair and such forth that... Did she give those cues with her

arms out come hither? No, no, it was the wiggling of the elf ears. Yeah, it was like the things directing planes to go, you know. I fucking... The ocean is fucking killing me, man.

And she wasn't holding back any. I was letting her have it, even pulling hard on the ears. How were they affixed? Both her real ones where I grabbed her actual ears and the fake ones where she had a wire system set up that looped around her ears went over her head and connected

them both. Oh, so that's the answer to your question. Steampunk cosplay. She was moaning, but I knew she wouldn't climax as the fact that her coming with gloves touching her vagina was so ingrained

that she wouldn't be able to do it any other way. I don't think that's why she can't come. Just like all elves. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Well, so this is the normalist guy we've read on the forums so far. And then eventually he touches her clit and it's like she liked that

I assume he just like poked an elf ear in there we all know that the elf ear is the 20th and most important erogenous zone yeah it goes back to the, uh, to actually the Song Dynasty in China where the, uh, the 26 elf ear technique was invented.

It comes right after sex doll and before glove. Yeah. Oh, yes, the Vulcan shock. Gloves are a gateway fetish. So, uh, F+, what did we learn from any of this? Elf ears are hot!

That's true. That's true. I've never seen them come up in porn before. It was a very exciting twist. I think I might have learned something, but the elf ears just, like, got rid of all that. I mean... I really liked it. I learned that, but the elf ears just, like, got rid of all that, so. I mean, I really liked it.

I learned that there's just something in the water over there. Yeah. Not about, you know. I mean, to be fair, this was all over Europe. It wasn't just England. Yeah, that's why I said over there. And it's not something in the water that makes people have weird fetishes. It's something in the water that makes people have weird fetishes. It's something in the water that makes people have weird fetishes and need to

talk on a forum about it. Well, I mean, it's confirmation bias because it's like, you know, there's plenty of, there's plenty of perverts over here as well. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But just for some reason, they, they don't cultivate these communities. It seems like in the same way that, I don't know. Yeah.

It was like, yeah. So, so we were looking at the, the WWGFA is brought to you by Glove Mansion, which is a... It's their glove patron. Yeah, yeah, it's a fetish site specifically for glovely ladies. Great, great. And, like, it definitely, like, it definitely, the glove fetish definitely touches up on BDSM pretty heavily.

And, you know, like, there's a lot of, like, rubber stuff happening and, like, a lot of pegging in these things. So, like, that's tied together. But, like, it is just kind of, I don't know, it's weird. Just kind of... I don't know. It's weird that these people are looking at this whole rubbery kind of look, and then they're just that pinpoint focused on this one specific fashion accoutrement they're in. Yeah. I also noticed there wasn't a lot of competing sects here.

Like, oh, rubber gloves. rubber gloves no like velvet gloves no like everybody was pretty like generally excited about gloves there are no uh slap fights over uh elbow length versus uh like wrist length yeah yeah like there are there were a few posts about like oh well you know like i can't possibly get off if there are words on the gloves. I do love that. But to each their own, you know. I do love that, where everyone's like, they're so tied into some specific thing that it's like, this is amazing, but pink gloves? No! Amazing, but pink gloves?

No! The chief disappointment here, for me, though, when I did a site-wide search, there was no results for the Power Glove. Oh, that is... That would be a very uncomfortable handjob. That handjob would be no good. No, it would be so bad. Oh, I fucking hate you.

Man. You really have to be a certain age to get that joke, too. Our website is chefbl.us. You can donate if you feel like it. That's fine. I make a lot of websites. If you You can donate if you feel like it. That's fine. I make a lot of websites. If you donate, that money goes to making those.

Yep. Fuel Lemon's website domain habit. It sure does. You can also go to Ball Pit. That's ballp.it. You can chat with us on the forums. That's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And make sure to hit that like and subscribe button! Bye, friends. Hey, F+. Hello! Whoa, I'm Tinker Yeah, full fursuit already. Achilles, what fursuit are you going for these days? I actually... Yeah, I actually... I wear the full Kumquat's fursuit, actually. Ooh. Wait, what is that?

Is that just, like, a fursuit that is Kumquat Sop's body? Yes. Oh, wow. I think we're getting into Silence of the Lambs territory with that. Just like a fursuit that is Kumquat Sop's body? Yes. Oh, wow. I think we're getting into Silence of the Lambs territory with that. Sounds confusing. So then is there like, are you wearing a head? Are you recording inside of the head? Yeah, I'm actually wearing everything but my gloves.

Would you say yes, hello? I'd say yes, hello. You're wearing everything but the gloves? Yeah, I mean, mostly because I'm trying not to get too aroused for the podcast. Why would gloves arouse you? I don't understand the question. Why would wearing gloves be arousing to you? That's my question.

I don't know. Maybe we can find out. Boy, is it five years ago and we're doing an intro? This really got away from me in some ways I didn't expect it to. Yeah, me too. Come on, Achilles Heelies. Have a seat right here.

Have a seat right over here. We're stuck to do the intro properly. This will take four or five minutes and you'll fast forward past it. Alright. Let's just fucking do it again. I kept yes-and-ing and yes-and-ing myself into a deeper, deeper hole. No, I understand.

I don't want to try to walk that back. The problem is, if you keep going for a comedy answer, Lemon's got a bite on it. That's like a rule. A deeper and deeper hole. Like the holes in the kumquat soup. Oh no. I didn't mean to create that, but here it is.