The F Plus - 272: Yiff The Gathering

Episode Date: January 6, 2018

Furoticon is a game similar to Magic: The Gathering, but with two important distinctions: The objective of the game is to get your furry trading cards to have sex with each other and the rules are impossible to figure out. But we're not going to let that slow us down. We're going to read these rules, and if that doesn't make us horny, we'll move onto to the forum roleplay. This week, The F Plus doesn't know what we can do, but you don't have to pay anything if you don't want the final product.

🎵 Yeah! Oh no! Hey! Oh no! Hello! It's me, Spitty Kitty! Do you want to touch my dick?

My dick wants to touch you! 🎵 Sometimes my mind starts to wander Oh, he slips as he bubbles down the street Making me further The agent's just stronger If I let him go He'll come back to me

Oh, I see you've found us Here at the F+. We've got terrible things. Red with enthusiasm. And in the room tonight we have BootsRang here. As his tail tickled her slit, she arched her back, leaning into his tail. Mmm, I like that very much. It's fun?

Concede. To concede is to leave and lose the game immediately. A player may do this at any time. Frank West? Boss Gator gave the foreign ferret a list of tasks that needed to be done, and at the very top of the list was throat fucking.

Stop! Griswold had offered Samantha a position at Packin Industries. Samantha was very excited, but her sister Sue warned her that only Griswold was only interested in sex. Nutshell gulag. A trap door?

I fell into the basement and... And I'll have to finish this story later. I'm late for class. See you soon. And Lemon. Also, a mouth has no gender? That's true. Not guilty.

Hey, F Plus. Hello. Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, how's everyone doing? Do you guys like gaming? Plus. Hello. Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, how's everyone doing? Do you guys like gaming? Yeah. Yes, I beat Daikatana.

I've been known to dabble. I'm indifferent. Okay, okay. What do you like to dabble in there, Isfahan? Well, recently I got Cities Skylines on sale on Steam. So I've been building cities. That sounds like a time sink. Yeah. Excellent.

It's pretty relaxing. Well, I want to talk to you about a term that I'm pretty sure I just invented right now. It's called social gaming. Social gaming is where you play a game around other people. Yeah. That doesn't sound like it'll take off. Yeah. Like on Twitch.

No, no. I mean in the real world. Yeah. Yeah. This is... So I'm going to introduce you all to a card game to be played with two to four players. And that card game

is called Fur-Rot-A-Con. Hmm. What? There are some dismaying syllables in that word. What don't you like? You think it's a con? Is that your problem? Yeah, yeah. I think this is a confidence game.

I don't like fur, I don't like rot, and I don't like con. Wait, it could be a Fellini-themed game, guys. One of them were called Verada Pro, Frank West. So we're about to find out. I'm going to take us to, and this is an unusual place to start an F-Plus episode with, but I'm going to start us off with BoardGameGeek.com. Cool. Tell you a little bit about Feroticon.

It's an adults-only anthro novelty game focusing on strategy and artwork. Oh, no. No. Oh, no. You just, like, pull a card out of your hand and you just leer at it for a moment before you put it down. My porn is better than your porn. Be quiet, I'm focusing on artwork. The cards are available for purchase online or at furry conventions such as Anthrocon and Further Confusion.

Is that the name of the convention? The owner of your harem pitting your furries characters against theirs, where they will use their wit and sexual prowess to break through the opposing harems to bring their owners to orgasm. The last owner to remain without climax is the winner. Normally, that's not the case. I know, like, look at furry art and try to not come, I dare ya Each player in the game typically uses a 40 card deck known as a black book There is a shorter variant of the game where a 20 card deck is used Blah blah blah, what we're saying is it's Magic the Gathering But there are five sets so far, each with its own theme

Vanilla Then there's Triskelon, which is Triskelon is Feroticon's premier BDSM set, focusing on slaves and masters and bondage and pain play. Second Vanilla focuses on college life. And showing the life and sexual adventure of such characters as Boy Toy and Lily Tyla. The Tribes of Tanglebrook is a tribal setting, with transformation and tribal marking being the prominent theme. The third vanilla is Strawberry, or just Strawberry, which continues the college setting introduced in the second vanilla.

That's Neapolitan. That's not vanilla. What the fuck? Yeah, no, Neapolitan. Vanilla, second vanilla, and third vanilla, which is also strawberry. That's a Neapolitan. Yeah. And finally, D'Alia's Awakening,

which is the second BDSM set. Well, they don't really have many themes. The second BDSM set in the Feroticon lineup, apparently taking place before and after the events of Dry Escalon. Oh, there's a milieu here. Yes, yes, quite. Pain encounters and the masochist and sadist abilities reign dominant in this edition. This is another set planned to be released by

July of 2014, Fortunate Veils End. Gameplay is similar to XXX Enophile. Oh my god, that means it's out in the world. We gotta find a way to stop it or something. We just gotta get Frank West to buy it and play it.

We've got to set a trap for it. Like, we've got to... Stog's in a lab coat, and he just took his glasses off. It's out in the world. My God, it's spreading. Yeah, so Feroticon.com is not HTTPS, so security is not important. And Dex will run you somewhere between $40 and $75.

Wait, unless you want to get the golden tier, which is $345. Wow. Jesus Christ. What a deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Sorry, just taking a quick look at Board Game Geek section for this game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one thread listed as a hot thread. It last had a post in it four years ago, and its title is, Anyone here? No. There are five replies. Nope, nope, nope. Everyone be quiet.

Wait until he leaves. So, yeah, we're going to leave the board gig deep, and now we are going to the Feroticon Wiki. Yay! Yay! I expect only good things from this. Okay, so yeah. So the Feroticon Wiki explains that it is sex positive, body positive, sexuality positive, gender positive, and expression positive.

But, Nutshell, will you tell me what the concept to cards is? Do you just want me to read it? Because, honestly, reading it, I'm not sure what the concept of the card says. Okay. When Seppl first came up with Feroticon in 2008, he started with the game basics, game type, resource system, competitive gameplay, and last but not least, the game theme. Employing sexy creatures wasn't the winning strategy in any game he could find at the time.

So he decided to develop it himself. Back in 2008, and to this day, there were incredibly few mainstream sexual games to act as an example. I wonder why that is. So he created everything about this game except for the fact it was about sexy furs. And he's like, what would fit with all these mechanics? Why can't I put... Why can't I put tits on the chest pieces?

The game selection in the back section of Spencer Gifts is very thin. And thus, Feroticon was brought into being. This is Isaac Newton's Apple moment. Feroticon was going to become one of the most popular games in the furry fandom.

Nobody expected it! Yay! The Model T was the most popular automobile in the early 20th century. I don't know, guys. It's both nerdy and porny. Is anyone interested in this? Can I get a naked Darth Vader, maybe?

Probably. Not furry enough. Get out of here. No. Feroticon was a first for many things. The first adults-only trading card game, TCG, to approach a mainstream audience via traditional gaming conventions, and the first trading card game

to tackle important issues involving sex, sexuality, gender, expression and body positivism. Positivism. Positivism. Positivism. Positivism. We derive a certain amount of

satisfaction that our game showcases us, characters who think and look like we do. Wait. I've already seen some of these cards we're terrifying monstrosities of science I'm looking at a picture of a

falcon sucking a rabbit's dick which one of those are you wiki creator we're all of them it's 2017 obviously the slave hyena. We hope that you find that they showcase you too. All right.

Well, yeah, this game, I mean, obviously we're going to have to be investing a whole bunch of money into this game. So we need to learn a little bit about how this is played. So Frank West, can you take us through the anatomy of a card because i need to know how this uh how this works okay uh so first there's a very disinterested and sassy looking wolf um a feroticon card consists of name, cost, artwork, max stamina slash stamina, furray cards only, P.E.'s furray cards only, type, rarity symbol, rules box, and credit box. Look, it's very simple. It'll only take a couple hours.

Don't worry about it. Is it just me or does that wolf have a pointer? Name. The name of a card is in the upper left corner of a card the name of a card is what defines everything on a card if a card has been misprinted otherwise altered refer to the name of the card and find an unaltered copy if the card is wrong identify it as wrong this will happen a lot it's your fault. You didn't need to look at the rules. If a skill needs a player to name a card,

he or she must give the name of a Feroticon card that can go on a Feroticon deck. Owner cards and token cards cannot be named. Gotcha. Sometimes rules text will refer to a card by a shortened version of the name. When that happens, the rules are always referring to the card as they're printed on.

Example, the card Daisy the Eavesdropper has rule text that says, When Daisy Puts Out. That rule is referring to that single card called Daisy the Eavesdropper. Thanks for clearing that up. I don't have a card that says Daisy,

but I have one that says Daisy the Eavesdropper. Does this one count? They spent so much money on printing that they just incorporated. If the card's a misprint, you've got to pretend like it isn't. Like, Frank was skipped over that part, but it's in italics in the middle there. So, Frank, I think the most important thing to know about how to play this game is that you need to know the cost of each of these cards. So how does that work out? The cost is in the upper right corner of a card.

Makes sense, yeah. The number in front of the paw is the AP action point cost. Each gender symbol below that is a cost of one GP gender point of that gender. So there's a cost and then there's two additional costs.

Yes. Okay. Have you played Magic? The letter X is an AP cost that allows you to play any amount of AP that you have. The number X will do something on the card. Okay.

AP may not be used to pay for GP costs, and GP may not be used to pay for gp costs and gp may not be used to pay for ap costs i mean the gender of a card is defined by the gp symbols and the cost regardless of the color of the card or the genders of any characters in the artwork cards with no gp symbols have no gender the total cost is the total of gp plus ap found in the upper right corner of the card a card that costs five male male has a cost of seven that makes that makes so much sense of course right i'm following so uh so there's five types of cards haven treat owner, and furry with like a fake French spelling.

And did you know there are also four genders of cards? Male, female, herm, and otherkin? The four genders? So what's the circle? That's not a gender? It's a free space. The circle is otherkin.

Oh, I see sorry the heart is And then so But yeah as far as the Fures are there Any defining types Found on fures Oh so like sort of like a rock Paper scissors

Yeah yeah yeah Yeah you know I mean there's of course a simple System regarding that. The following 100 defining types are all found on furrows. Oh no. Furrow type. There are no specific rules to follow with these types. Other cards, however, may interact with them.

Colon. Alligator. Antelope. Armadillo. Badger. Bear. Bird. Caracal.

Cat. Cephalopod. Cheetah. Chinchilla. Chipmunk. Construct. Cow. Coyote. Crocodile. Deer. Demon. Dinosaur. Dog. Dragon. Dragon. Fly. Dryad. Elephant. Elk. Badger, bat, bear, bird, caracal, cat, cephalopod, cheetah, chinchilla, chipmunk, construct, cow, coyote, crocodile, deer, demon, dinosaur, dog, dragon, dragonfly, dryad, elephant, elk, ferret, firefly, fossil, fox, gargoyle, gecko, gerbil, giraffe, goat, griffin, harpy, hedgehog, horse, hyena, insect, jackal, jaguar, joroba, gin fun. So it's pretty easy to keep track of.

Memorize them all! Gotta memorize them all! So, like, pachyderms in here is a separate thing from elephant, rhinoceros. But it might be a woolly mammoth, Boots. Okay. I'm assuming that some of the more

specific types there is someone who paid a lot of money to get their fursona. What's a fossa? Also, Firefly is a very strange one. There's no mammoth in here, though. Yeah, insect is already in here.

So, yeah, so I've heard that there's a P.E. I'm assuming that stands for like physical endurance or something you're pretty close okay what does p stand for p stands for pleasuring experience okay okay p's are only found on furry cards they are on the lower left side of the card below its max stamina a furry card has four, one for each gender.

These values define... Sorry? I don't know why I'm laughing. I'm just... It's just so much fun thinking about this. I don't know why you're laughing either. These values define how much pleasure a Furay gives to each gender when it gives pleasure. each gender when it gives pleasure.

Furries with a P of zero do not give pleasure, even if chosen to give pleasure. Can you imagine being like, hey, put my fursona in this game, and then you look at the card and you've got like a zero somewhere. Take that personally. Yeah, like the rabbit who's getting

his dick sucked by a falcon is equally pleasurable to all genders. Where is this wolf on this demonstrating card on this page? Is a very good lover for everything but otherkin. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know how to do it. I'm looking at it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. Sorry. I don't understand what I'm looking at. Well, if you're looking at that card, you're looking at a giant fucking camel toe. And then tell me about the credit box, will you, please? The credit box? That's the very last thing in the anatomy of a card.

Credit box. The credit box is the bottom of a card below the rules box. The credit box contains the artist's name and website. Yay! All items in the credit box have no effect on gameplay. Although much effort is made to try to keep up-to-date information,

the accuracy of artist websites can only be guaranteed at the time of printing. So... Do you think that they consent to this printing so do you think that they are a consent to this do you think that these artists or do you think it's just do you think it's just like literally just stolen do you think that just literally stealing things and putting them on there you can't i don't think i don't think it's stolen that's true i forgot i think there are are more people than you'd like to to think about that would be eager to have their art yes

yeah you're presupposing a world you're presupposing a world where furries aren't looking to put their art any place they can okay that's i suppose i suppose that's true yeah um well uh the uh the anatomy of a card section is much longer than that uh it's very long the how to play the how to play page on the wiki doesn't work it's just blank but another but another section. It's very long. The how to play page on the wiki doesn't work. It's just blank. But another section that's very, very, very long on this wiki. There's a whole bunch of errors. There's just a bunch of errors.

How to play. Fuck if I know. You never got past looking at the art on the cards is the problem yeah yeah yeah so another section in this wiki that's very very long is called gameplay um there's uh so boots there's a there's there's a bunch of parts uh of a there's a bunch of fucking things there's like parts one through four and then step four has five sub-steps. But yeah, so there's obviously the refill step, the refresh step, the main step,

and then the main step has five sub-steps. Will you just tell me about section 4.4 in playing called Entering Bed, parentheses, The Bed Step? Everybody do the bed step.

Time to go to bed. Night night, everybody. Obviously, after you draw a card and then play a card or a skill, you enter the bed, which is the bed step. That's the bed step. Here are the rules to the bed step.

Number one. When announcing the choice to enter bed, the active player also chooses which opponent he or she is entering bed with. One, subsection one. This is part of the main step. 4.1.1. Okay. This is part of the main step move choice,

and thus players react after the active player chooses an opponent. That makes sense. I'm glad you stated it, though. Jesus Christ. Otherwise, we don't have to guess. I like the word opponent when applying to bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's kinder than enemy.

You're going to be my bed opponent tonight, baby. Two. Like, super section two, not subsection two. Of course, yeah. The active player chooses which furs he or she is swinging with, spends one AP per fur chosen, and exhausts those furs. The furs that are already

exhausted cannot swing. Swinging furs are considered to be in bed. In subsection one, players may react. Oh my god, this is so hot! As opposed to not reacting.

Can I just sit there stone-faced? Yeah. And two, if there are zero swinging furs, the bed step ends immediately. Preferably with police and a fire hose. Three, the defending player decides which furs he or she is putting it with. Strange wording. No, I think they meant that wording to mean exactly like that. Well, no, okay.

And spends one AP per furs. Furs do not exhaust to put out. Furs that are exhausted cannot put out. Furs that put out cannot put out. Furs that put out are considered to be in bed. Also, players may react if there are zero swinging furs. Furs. All

furs are no longer considered in bed. The bed stack ends immediately. This is a very weird fortune cookie. Four. The player with less furs in bed chooses x opposing furs in bed to pleasure where x is equal to the number of furs the player has in bed jesus god damn it the the opposing i don't think this person has written gameplay steps before. The other player chooses all opposing furs. If both players

have the same number of furs in bed, all furs are chosen. Example. One example. If the active player swings with four furs and the defending player puts out with two furs, the defending player chooses two of the four swinging

furs to pleasure. Oh, you know what? You don't need any more examples. That fucking completely explains it. Example two. If the active player swings with one fur and the defending player puts out with two furs, the active player chooses one of the two putting out furs to pleasure. I think at this point Boots is just enjoying saying the word fur.

Maybe. Why would you think that? Third example. If the player swings with three furs, and the defending player puts it with three furs, all the furs are chosen. Okay, so we're done with the steps? We're done with the instructions?

Step five. Oh, no. Sub-step five of the bed step. If there are any generous or extra generous furs in bed, they give their pleasure to all chosen opposing furs simultaneously. Players may react afterward if so. And if there are zero swinging furs, all furs are no longer considered in bed. The bed-step ends immediately. Again with the fire hose.

Of course. step six all non-generous and extra generous furs give pleasure to all chosen opposing furs simultaneously players may react damn it and then seven all furs are no longer considered in bed. Any skills that trigger when a fur leaves bed trigger... What? When a fur leaves bed trigger now. The trigger when a fur leaves bed trigger now. The trigger when a fur leaves bed trigger now.

Leaves bed trigger now! Oh, that's the subject of the sentence. Any skills that trigger when a fur leaves bed trigger now. Leaves bed trigger now! Oh, that's the subject of the sentence. Any skills that trigger when a fur leaves bed. Yeah. And any notes? And the bed step ends. Well, there's a bunch of notes.

Like, just glancing over it, it seems to just repeat most of the stuff I already said. I mean, in this game's defense, that's the level of specificity you need when playing a game like Magic. But to remove that, there's literally nothing in the entire world that is less sexy than playing Magic. I don't know. That's why this exists. Sounds like somebody only plays blue magic.

I've been known to dip my dick in black from time to time. Listen, until you've tried vanilla vanilla strawberry magic. Alright, we need a little bit of a glossary. Whoa, that's a big glossary. Okay. Why, thank you. Good. Okay, Stog, there are 71 points in this glossary.

I'm just going to ask you a couple of them if I could, all right? Sure. Okay, so Stog, what is a climax? Because I've been jerking off to furry porn for hours, and I still can't figure it out. Well, I'm going to open this. I don't know what a climax is either, so I'm just going to open this big dock of terms. Oh, my God. There's so many of these fucking things.

Oh, okay. Okay. I found it. I found it. I found it. I'm putting on my monocle. Climax. To climax a pho is to put it immediately onto its owner's couch.

It can't come back into the scene from the couch this turn. Right. It is not considered to have lost any stamina. Goddamn couch fuckers. Okay, so now that you've told us what a climax is, what's an orgasm? Oh. Oh, where's the orgasm? It's under O.

Oh, it's under O. Oh, my God. Oh, here it is. Oh, I finally found it. I finally found the orgasm. Here it is. I finally found it. I finally found the orgasm.

When a fur in the scene has less than zero stamina, it orgasms. It is put onto its owner's couch because of this. They have a conversation with the other furs on the couch. Did you orgasm? No, I climaxed. The source of pleasure that puts a fur, or a player, to zero stamina is considered the source that orgasmed

the fur. One more time with that sentence. I liked it, but I didn't fully digest it. Can you do it one more time? The source of pleasure that puts a fur, player to zero stamina is considered the source that orgasmed the fur gotcha so the source is the source okay gotcha thank you yeah it's really good conjugating the the past tense verb to orgasm. Orgasm. If a fur or player orgasms from pleasure in bed, all furs that pleasured that fur are considered the sources that orgasmed the fur.

Are they breaking the fourth wall with the player thing? Yeah, I was just trying to figure out, because or player is in parentheses. Well, I think if, I mean, trying to figure out. Because or player is in parentheses. Well, I think if, I mean, because I know a little bit about magic, so how magic works is that you attack the other guy's monsters, and then the other monster would attack the player.

So presumably you would want to make the other player come, or orgasm. When a player orgasms, he or she leaves the game. All object owned by that player leave the game as well. And go to sleep. I like that as written.

That both might mean when you manage to take a player's life points to zero and when a player literally jacks off in a game. That's what it... Well, I'm done. See ya. I don't know anything about Magic the Gathering, so that's what it seemed like to me. Thanks for inviting me

over, Gary. I also really like the use of the term couch, because you can just imagine what this couch looks like. Hey, Gary, how did the tournament go? Well, I was winning the final match, but I came all over the table. So that's important.

I'm behind. I have no way of getting his life points to zero, but I still have one way to win. It's reach under the table and you just start jerking him off. You're watching Yugi. Ugh! Okay, so that all makes a lot of sense. I see that extra pleasure is extra pleasure, so that's helpful to know. But, Stock, will you define what a gender point is?

I want to know what a gender point is. A gender point, huh? Mm-hmm. Ah! Gender point. Gender points, GP, are used to play cards or use skills of a certain gender there are male gender points mgp or male gp okay okay female gender points fgp or female gp or female GP?

Herm gender points? HGP or Herm GP? And other kid gender points? OGP or other kid GP? Oh yeah, that tracks, thanks! Yeah, you know me. And the flavor of the game? GP's your influence. Control and experience with a certain gender oh man cool

pleasure in bed is the pleasure that's given to furries by the rules of the bed step um uh yeah so uh so we're just gonna leave that section uh that wasica.com slash wiki slash terms. We are done now with the terms, which means that we're moving on to the keywords. Which is an even longer section. Whoa. Oh, good. That's nice. So, Isfahan.

Yes. I've heard a little bit about pleasure. What is pleasure as a verb? Okay. So, pleasure verb. To pleasure is to reduce a person's or player's stamina. Wow, yeah. Your voice just wants to do that when it comes to that word.

Yes, spontaneous Swedish chuffing. It's a word that you can't actually pronounce. Going on a walk. stamina. Wow, yeah, your voice just wants to do that when it comes to that word. Yeah, spontaneous Swedish chuffing. It's a word that you can't actually pronounce. Any reduction of stamina is pleasure. The source of it. Really? Okay, I don't want to go jogging with you.

I was going to say, that's why when you jog it feels super good. Yeah, the people who play this game jog a lot. The source of the pleasure is the object or card giving the pleasure, and the target or recipient is considered to have been pleasured. Oh, gotcha. Okay. What's, we know about climax.

What's to swing? Okay. To swing is to exhaust a fur you control and place it in bed as a swinger. See the bed step for more information. I already did. No, no. That's fine. We're not going back there.

What's frigid? Oh, frigid, well... Frigid to X means this object can't be pleasured by X. But I thought X was gonna give it to me. X is gonna give it to you? Yeah. I don't want X to give it to me!

Well, knock, knock. X is gonna give it to you! If all swinging furs are X, this fur can't put out. Where X is any sort of modifier, like males, females, treats, etc. And some bullet points here. Oh, good.

Frigid is always written as frigid to X. A card simply, a card cannot simply be frigid. Oh, really? Because I want to print one that's like, that's like the horny rhinoceros does not like sex.

Just has horns. I want to print one that's the normal person and he's not in any of this. You could just make cards by, you could just make cards cold by putting them in your refrigerator. It's simple. The disapproving sloth. Hey, Isfahan. Yes?

What is a glutton? Glutton means as this object enters the, this is in quotes, as this object enters the scene, it may eat any number of furs you control. M-dash. Dismiss them and put them under this object in an

out-of-scene belly zone. Yay! What? Woo-hoo! No, don't do that! Took us this long to get to vor. If I could just quote one here, damn, I love vor. When it leaves the scene, put furs under it onto their onerous couches.

No! No, don't do that! I heard that as onerous couches. No! No, don't do that! I heard that as onerous couches. Onerous couches, yes. I heard it as put it under their onerous couches. Tokens may exist in belly zones, bet you didn't know that. If a non-glutton somehow gets a fur in its belly zone, continue play as normal.

Each object has its own belly zone, but only gluttons and a few other cards make use of it. Continue play as normal. Avoid eye contact. Well, there's a lot of words to explain what tantric means. But I think that, you know, like breaking that off into something that's sort of, I would like examples is what I mean to say. Do you have any examples of that could explain what tantric means? Sure. Okay. Let's suppose Den Mother, a tantric fur and two MPE, has been reduced to four stamina.

If Den Mother puts out to a male fur with five FPE, the tantric skill will not trigger. Den Mother will orgasm and be put onto the couch. Need some more? That's difficult math. Can you help me out some more? Okay, okay. I'm going to break this down for you. Okay.

Suppose Den Mother, a tantric fur and 2 MPE, and of course we all remember what MPE stands for, has been reduced to four stamina. If Den Mother puts out to a male fur with three FPE, the tantric skill will trigger. Den Mother will go down to one stamina from being pleasured, then up to three stamina when its tantric skill goes off. A second wind! I know what that is. Oh, man. Why isn't Kegels on this list?

Oh, man. Okay, there's a bunch more. There's a bunch more. But we could learn some more about the game a little bit later because now what we need to do

is look into the forums. Yay! So we're going to feroticon.com slash forums where there is a forum with, well, let's find out here, 18,500 posts by 15,000 members to our online now, although I assume that's us. Okay, so yeah, I just want to start this thing off here. We are in board index slash Feroticon

slash Feroticon discussion, and my name is Blaze Moonshadow. And I just wanted to say, wow! Okay. Okay, so wow! Hey, wow!

Wow! Oh, wow! I, wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. I love trading card games, but I have a question. Would this be against the rules to play at conventions in the open? Since it's so adult and all. I mean, if the place has rules against porn. What are you doing showing concern for how you're actually presenting yourself in public?

Consideration for others! Get out of this community! Look, man, do you want to look at furry porn cards or not? I also love that he's like asking the furry trading card porno people if it would be tactless.

They're going to give him unbiased advice. Also, how hard would it be to find opponents to play against? I plan to go to AC next year, and it might be really fun to play this with people. I was also wondering, can we mix decks and make like Herm, Otherkin, and throw in a few good males and females? Because I kind of like them all. I don't know. I've heard it's gay if the decks touch.

Oh, Jesus. This seems so fun. Also, how hard would it be to get a character or three in this? Expensive? Rare opportunity? I have a ton of characters, and I'd love to see them all in here. It'd be very interesting, and it'd make me love to play them all. If commissioned artists get card picks for them, of course, and if I submitted them, would I only get a few rare opportunities?

I don't know what I'm talking about. Loot boxes? I have no idea. I can't afford to get any cards yet. This is the fourth time I've said this in this post. But it could be really fun. Oh, yeah. Are there any ferals or, like, transformation action cards? cards? Like, that may turn anthros into ferals, or other anthros,

or other ferals, or lots of cool stuff? Or conjunctions? Or... I like TF. Yeah, I think you do. I like Team Fortress, too. Frank West, your Nightmoon?

Interestingly enough, there were quite a few games going on at Anthrocon in the hallways and in the tabletop gaming room. I think it would depend on the con, but so long as you don't draw undue attention... Shakat Nightmoon.

Awesome! How about the other questions? Any answers for those boots oh yes uh i am america i'm a site admin i'm from ontario canada yay yay we are planning to auction off some spots for people for fursonas to be in the card game. This was written in 2009, by the way. We might also be holding a contest for one or two spots, but not 100% sure on that one yet. Me.

When Seppel has more concrete news, he'll share it with everyone. As for Farrell's, we haven't done any yet. However, it's an interesting concept, so you can bet we will keep it in mind for our future set. Meh. Just so people know, that's colon three. That's what a cat sounds like. As it happens, Seppel does have more news for us.

Nutshell, what do you got there? I am glad to see how excited you are So far we haven't had any problems With playing Feroticon in the open Just keep to a corner and staff Shouldn't bother you If they do, take it elsewhere or censor your cards I recommend putting them in sleeves

That have black electric tape over the naughty bits What? I heard of no problems with public play at Anthrocon And there was a lot of playing. Oh, really? The place where people have a whole bunch of anonymous sex in fursuits? Just take a look at the pics in this post to see just how public the games got without anybody caring. Dare we?

Here I go! We dare. There was, like like never a moment when people weren't playing Furrow. Smiley! And yes, you can mix genders. The ideas have a core vanilla set and release expansion set centered

around fetishes. You okay there, Lemon? Yeah, no, I'm looking at pictures of people playing this game. Oh, you're playing with us. Oh, but it's not the same picture I did. Yeah, you both link the same picture. Is that a sailor suit t-shirt? Yeah, he's got a...

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay, cool. This is fun. This is fun. Okay. So, boy. Okay, cool. This is fun. This is fun. Okay. So, Boots, Merrick's back, and Merrick has a question to ask.

So what's Merrick's question, Mr. Blue Font? Oh, sure. I like that your avatar is, please update your account to enable third-party hosting. You're a site admin, so I don't know who you're stealing traffic from. Yeah. As a site admin, it's really hard for me to find somewhere to host my avatar. Yeah, JPEG hosting, like $100 a month? Okay.

Yeah. Also, presumably the site forum just lets you upload a small image anyway. What fetishes would you like to see in Feraticon? This is a poll. And how did this poll do? There's 51 votes. I'm going to go from least popular to most popular here. Okay.

So 6% of people wanted more BDSM. People are very comfortable with the amount of BDSM that's already on this. What fetish do you want to see in Feroticon? The one that's already in there? Yeah, but more. Yeah, but more. Yeah, hit her harder. 8% of the people are representing wet and messy.

8% of the people are representing wet and messy 10% of the people are very specific in some sort of other that they have provided in the comments another 10% have offered micro slash macro okay that might be related to real time strategies

some might want the big picture about the sex that's happening and others want to just focus on details That might be related to real-time strategies. Some might want the big picture about the sex that's happening, and others want to just focus on the details. I don't care about all that. I don't care all about those tiny details about sex and crap. Just give me one. Just tell me some guy fucks some other guy. I don't care. I like to micromanage my sperm. I do go that way.

I just want to know the creeps are fucking I don't want the details 16% of the people want a were slash feral so lycanthropy and feral get combined 22% want voyeurism slash public sex

slash cam whoring so it's the same pictures it's just got like a red dot in the upper left corner. Get a little timestamp on the bottom. R-E-C. And then the

winner, by a pretty sizable margin of 29%, people want to come play. Defined as? Defined as spooge,ooge fem come squirting etc but the the the the votes may not be entirely accurate because it appears uh based on the comment here that wet and messy was a late addition to the list. Oh, yeah. I was actually really surprised that Other was as low down as it was. Okay.

So let's see here. So, well, nah, we can just skip past that. There's a bunch of people going, my fetish. But, okay, so let's go to this thread here, which was started by Fluffy the Fox, who also couldn't find a place to host their avatar. It was rough back in 2010. I apologize. I'm going to rewind for a second because my brain has stopped at a thing from this page.

What's that? because Calista Skip her other vote here was for Construct slash Steampunk which I never considered could be a fetish until now don't put cogs on about anything these days whatever facilitates my weirdo boner

there's like a lot of leather involved with Steampunk so you know well I started out gluing a bunch of cogs to my hat but I just kind of went crazy I started out gluing a bunch of cogs to my hat, but I just kind of went crazy and ended up gluing a bunch of cogs to my fetish instead. My fetish is when my dick gets trapped in the cogs of a giant steam machine.

Actually, you know what, I want to switch to this one instead. So this thread was started by Sangi, Sangi, whoi who is coy. And Frank West, you're pretty coy. So what do you want to talk to us about here? Hi all.

Oh, sorry. I'll read the title first. Trying to play with local furs. Oh, no. Hi all. I'm in the Austin, Texas area and keep trying to sit down with local furs to play. But they always escape. I just sit right next to them while they're having lunch and they just get up and walk away.

Gonna need a deeper hole, I suppose. I have a vanilla and a triskelion starter pack along with six or so triskelion expansions. All three different people I've tried playing with quickly get frustrated and annoyed. Triskelion starter pack, along with six or so Triskelion expansions. All three different people I've tried playing with quickly get frustrated and annoyed with the game. Wow, I wonder why. Are you sure it's the game?

Of course, it's hard for me to learn it when I can't have a partner actually sit through the completion of the game. That's not a metaphor for anything. Part of the learn it when I can't have a partner actually sit through the completion of the game. That's not a metaphor for anything. Part of the reason is because I don't fully grasp the rules, nor does anyone else that goes through the wiki or rules on the cards. So good. So good.

So good. You know it's a good furry game when even the furries can't stand it. Yeah. Look, the important thing is our cards are going to fuck. I don't know the rest of it yet. We'll figure it out. How do I make the cards fuck? The insane rules of this game are its own form of edging.

More often than not, they spend more time laughing at the cards and the terminology than trying to learn the game. How dare they. Who would do such a thing? Anybody do that is a jerk. Yeah. They don't appreciate art, guys. I need some advice. How do I find furs patient and non-judgmental enough

to learn the game with me? Also, will better instructions ever be written? We probably read the better instructions. I'm sure it would help to play with someone who knew the game, including the expansion, fully. Also, playing a vanilla deck against a triskelion deck seems counterproductive when one has pain rolls and the other doesn't. I guess I should build some custom decks to make it more fair, but how when I struggle with understanding the game?

I havai enough trouble keeping my hand size above 3 or 4 after the first few times when getting one card requires half my AP. I feel like I'm playing this so wrong. I like that your statement so far is, I don't actually know how this game works but i know it's terrible i don't want to play it with other people in the long run does anyone live by austin that plays this game that i could get with some personal help would be awesome thanks anyone anyone anyone have a response there uh nutshell anyone uh Thanks. Anyone have a response there? Nutshell?

Anyone? I know how it is. I live in Lexington, Kentucky, and I feel like I'm the only foray in the entire state. You are not. You are not. The foray thing makes me wonder, are they now players of this game referring to themselves specifically as forays?

They're the ones who think they're intelligent. I've transcended past furry with a Y. I'm not actually a furry at all, I just like the game. I'm a foray, I can understand incomprehensible card game bullshit. I play these cards for the flavor text. How dare you? Plus, I'm trying to recruit some friends into Feroticon, but it's not going so well.

But, if you would like, if you have a webcam and or a headset, I will be more than happy to play a webcam battle with you and walk slash talk you through everything. If it interests you, just send me a PM with your Skype info. You know what we have to do now? Never, ever

call this person ever. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. I was glad. I thought you had a different thought there. Hey, my name's Duke of Dawn. I need a Hobie. Well, I never. I need a Hobie. Free commissions.

I recently quit playing single-player video games, and now I have an extreme abundance of time on my hands, and I'm looking to start a hobby, which is different. I want to make stuff for furs, but I don't know what to make. Maybe porn? I don't know. This is a guy who has his life figured out. Make Angora sweaters. Footstools.

So, I figured if anyone wants anything, let me know. I'll only ask for shipping costs and half of material costs if you want something physical, but be forewarned, I have almost no talent. And I couldn't draw a circle to save my life.

This guy's a master salesman. Like even with tools? I've got a set of compasses. No, there's nothing that helps you draw circles. Okay. Well, I'm fairly good with computers, but I have no programming knowledge. Some web design knowledge and lots of technical knowledge on how to get programs running right. Okay.

Right now, my long-term goal is to make animatronic headpieces like moving jaws, motion tracking eyes, external cameras feeding video to internal screens, etc. I'm pretty good with computers! There's no programming involved in any of that shit, is there? Or making anything. You'll be fine. What I meant right now is I can put an antivirus

on your machine. Where I'm looking to be is like a cyberpunk tech suit with fur on it mostly i just want to turn my house into five nights at freddy's yeah probably how do i get the how do i get the robot chicken to kill me because that's my fetish uh okay so uh hit me up if you want something no one else makes or if oh oh by the way uh my shorter term goals are to alter 2d images into animated loops or gifs like there's not a program that does that i one day dream of

making content hit me up if you want something that no one else makes or if it's too expensive to get the real deal i'll give it a hell of a shot and if you don't like the finished product you don't have to pay anything but you won't get it either you don't like it you won't get it but okay yep cool um uh okay so uh okay so um uh we're gonna go through this forum thread for a little bit and uh stog uh your name is uh manders hex ah manders hex i'm from dallas fort worth texas yeah so what can you do okay that's the problem i don't have any previous work i've been a lurker for since i stumbled onto furs when i was 16 and spent, I wouldn't say wasted, as it made me who I am today. Oh, no. Most of my life playing video hyphen games.

So this is me posting a billboard all over the internet asking what people want that nobody makes. Do you have a response, Mandershex? I'd like to point out, sorry, just looking at your signature, your furry coat appears to be impossibly long. Yeah.

Is there like a converter where you can type in a furry code? Furry code translator. I think at the bottom of, oh, nope, that's a broken link. That's a dead link. Furry code decoder. There we go. Decode. All right.

The code of the furries. So. Everything. Yeah, you're an otter. So, Mandersex, do you have a response to there? Oh, but we don't know what you can make, so we don't know what to ask for. Especially since you've said you have no talent. I don't know about others, but I'm not going to commission something and pay shipping for it

from someone who will do a bad job at it. So, what can you do? I don't know! I didn't expect all these questions, like what can you do? I don't know! Crying animated face! Seriously though, you don't have to pay anything

and you don't think the final project is worth a damn, but you don't have to pay anything. You don't think the final project is worth a damn, but you won't get the final project either. I know how to work a camera. So obviously you would have some idea of the state of whatever I make is.

I'm no good at art. So that's kind of a no-go. I've never done any kind of fur suiting, but I'm not great at art, so that's kind of a no-go. I've never done any kind of fursuiting, but I'm not great at sewing either. I do know my way around a computer, so if you wanted something cyber, I could try something of that nature. But with no background skill, it may take a while. The moral of the story is that I don't... I should point out that this isn't from, like, 2001. This is 2012.

Yeah, I want some cyber. But Boots points out that from my fur code, I have a D double plus, which means that I'm good at Doom. So, yeah, I'm good at computers. The moral of the story is I don't know what i can be any help with but if there's a gap somewhere to for me to fill i learned fast uh and uh nobody takes the bait for some reason um so uh oh boy wow we are we are short on time, and there's so much more that we could cover here. So the Feroticon forums, of course, have a role-playing section that, of course, is member-only, but that's okay because we've got a group of doc. So, nutshell, your name is Calista Skip.

Let me just switch over to the role-playing thing. What about the fetish bar sign-ups and questions? Role-playing Calista Skip. Belly up to the fetish bar! Hey! Hey over here! Let's play in the fetish bar. You know you want to. What's playing a fetish bar? You know you want to. I don't.

Please let go of me. Scene. The bar looks like a dive on the outside packed tight between a high-end place that serves $10 cocktails and an 80s karaoke joint. The owner likes it that way. Doesn't want to attract too much of the wrong attention. Once you're inside, there's a narrow hall with a check-in booth.

The space already setting the tone for the place. A black wall written on with UV markers. Oh, good, because we want to see this place in blacklight. Detailing that week's themed nights. The bouncer all in black, relaxed but observant. The girl behind the counter done up like she doesn't have a real day job. All pigtails threaded with yarn, metal studs sprinkled liberally through dyed fur.

The dress code is printed on bright paper and has a light on it. No ties, no khakis, no popped collars, no baseball caps, no t-shirts with crappy slogans. It goes on and on. Only the best slogans for our t-shirts. I was just looking at my Corporate Rock Sucks t-shirt that I and on. Only the best slogans for our t-shirts.

I was just looking at my Corporate Rock Sucks t-shirt that I have on. You may only have Desher's own Christmas Genius Christmas sweaters on at all times. No exceptions. I'm sure anything from Spencer's is fine. The regulars know that this is just to scare the kids next door. If you're known, you can get away with wearing whatever you'd like. Come on. No, this is

actually just race baiting, but you know, it's dressed up as a dress code. This is a members-only club, so unless you're in the arm of someone with a card, you've either got to sweet-talk your way past the girl, a bill or two never hurts, or you've got to find a guy outside to bump a pass on That isn't always hard

You just have to know what to say And how to say it Then why is there a dress code if it's members only? I don't know Okay Past the check-in booth There's an area to hang your coat And then there's the pool tables

Ask at the bar for the balls. They'll hand them over for free. The sticks are on the wall, and most aren't in terrible shape. This is a crappy club! This person didn't know what the word for pool cue was. I mean, you can imagine literally anything, and this

is the kind of club they're imagining? What the hell?! Ugh! Uh, so This is the kind of club they're imagining? What the hell? So, yeah, so then you go into the bathrooms for a while. There is a handicap accessible bathroom, so that's good. Hello. But, yeah, let's go to tilde asterisk, tilde asterisk, tilde asterisk, please. Okay.

I could totally ramble more, but I think that's it. Basically, I'd like to see people take this bar and just react to it. So introduce your characters in a way that would be natural for them. If you have a dominant, awesome character who would totally be a dominatrix in the back room, run with it. If it would be the cool guy playing pool and observing the crowd, go for it! I like the bar scene because I think it can let everyone kind of fill a role. I like that, I mean, fetish bars actually exist. And this person is such a fucking shut-in that they're like,

uh, well, let's see, what's a bar? Um, well, I've seen movies where there's bars. There's snow. A fetish bar could not have a pool table, though. So, I don't know. Dusk till dawn, I guess. Welcome to the fucking drink hole, asshole. Okay, okay. So, Stog, your name's Nick Umaru, and you want to sign up for the Sexy Times.

Yeah, I want to sign up for the Sexy Fun Times. I have a cat who is a neko who is like a tiger, but it's more of a jaguar. It's like a jaguar. It's like a jaguar undie, but it's smaller. It's an ocelot. He's really cool. It's like a jaguar undie, but it's smaller. It's an ocelot, and it's really cool. Oh, God. He's all normal. It's like a jaguarundi, but it's smaller,

it's an ocelot, and it's really cool. Yeah. Tiger, then it's a jaguar, and it's an ocelot. By the way, I can't tell that you're on Adderall right now. I'm a tiger,

I'm a jaguar, I'm an ocelot, I'm a woman, you're a man. He's all normal except for his sparkly green eyes that follow you around like the Mona Lisa's smile.

Yeah, the smile follows you around. He's really fun and adventurous and loves to have sexy fun times. Can I play? Ha ha ha. Can I? Oh boy. Oh boy.

Edit by way of LOLing. Okay, so Nico is an ocelot. Glad you finally decided on that. We established that over 50 words. Actually, skip that one because you have one more edit in the next paragraph, please. Okay, final edit. I'm really bad at describing myself. Agreed.

But you can pay me to describe myself. I'm six feet tall with toned muscles and a thickness lent by age. Nope. He easily weighs 180 pounds but doesn't have

rippling muscles. Just a solid, comfortable stature. Not imposing, but definitely there. He takes a physical form, alright. Smiles come easily to his face, but then most emotions are telegraphed by this cat's face. That is what a face does. With emotions. He is very emot face does. No, with emotions. He is very emotive,

but not very vocal. He tends to stand back and observe while drawing people to him in conversation. While he's at the club, he'll mainly keep to the back room for relaxation and demonstrations, but can't be drawn into a conversation

containing anything if led to it. Why are you a social fucking wreck in your goddamn fetish roleplay? Look, I'm observing the crowd, but at the same time, I like talking to people, okay? I'm kind of fat and I'll stand

against the wall nursing a beer for two hours? Wee! This is the best! Try to look like I'm waiting for somebody. Oh, Nutshell, your character gets to play too. Oh, goody.

I'll do it too. My name's Dolly. My sex is female. My name's Dolly. My sex is female. My species is red squirrel. Character description. Dolly is a red squirrel with black hair shot through with bright purple and blue. She's hot-headed by nature

and tends to pout when she doesn't get her way. Which is a dolphin, depending on the company she keeps. She's a pain slut, and loud at that. So she tends to create a spectacle when she's put in the spotlight. Fascinating! Oh, man.

I would have never guessed she created a spectacle of anything. You started describing your character and I was imagining the squirrel from Spongebob. I was imagining... I was too! I was imagining Slappy Squirrel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you wanted an old one, huh? She keeps her long hair up in two pigtails and likes to paint her eyelids to match her outfits. While she can be demanding, she's not ignorant to other people's circumstances and doesn't always mean to step on people's toes. Despite some personal drama, she got dressed up to go to the shelter because that... She got dressed up to go to the shelter because that

She got dressed up to go to the shelter that evening in sensible ballerina flats, her favorite black and red petal skirt. That's not dressed up. That's not dressed up. Ballerina flats? Black panties! That's not dressed up at all. Black panties! And a low-cut black

blouse. She's a shark chick standing at 5'3", curvy too. Her big bust was bounced by a small waist and nicely sized hips, often made more pronounced with corsets. But not now, because apparently I'm not wearing a bra. I described everything else. I don't know. She's melting.

That's all I can think of to say about her without actually getting into characters. Smiley face. All right. Frank West, do you think you can tell me about Olivia? Yes, I am Manders Hex. Okay. Oh, yay. I'm in.

Name. Olivia. Sex. Female. Species. Otter. Character description. Sorry. text okay oh yay i'm in name olivia sex female species otter character sorry i don't know why you laughed right there just character description character description olivia is a slut like all otters we know how otters be. That's all there is to it. She loves to have sex. She's damn good at it, and she knows it.

She stands 5'7", has sleek chestnut fur, and long dyed purple hair. She keeps it pulled away from her face with matching clamberays. She is very curvaceous and alluring to men and women alike. While she is a slut, she carries herself with a very dignity and won't sleep with just anyone. She's a slut! She's a bad slut!

I am taking away your slut license! Turning your slut badge and slut gun. You're off the slut case. There's an awful lot of auto-shaming happening in this conversation here. Just want you guys to be aware of it. Those who try the hardest to get into her pants

likely never will. She... So this... You know... Okay, we did that bit. She prefers the company of men. But is not adverse to a trust with a sexy, confident female or herm now and then. As long as you don't try to have sex with her. Right.

She's a slut who only fucks people who don't want to fuck. You gotta play hard to get with this slut. She saunters into the, wow, that's a tongue twister. She saunters into the Wow that's a tongue twister She saunters into the shelter tonight Wearing an exquisite black corset Many silver bangles on both wrists And a long shimmery Black skirt

There's only one clothing store in this town The black corsets Yeah It's owned by Madonna in 1989. She also has black stiletto heels on and a dainty silver anklet on her right ankle. Looking upon her, one can tell. She has come to party.

Great. Cool. Cool. She's not here to partay though oh man there's so much stuff in here jeez the cage fight one goes into

I I can't those are words sort of yeah yeah yeah there seems to be some sort of like fight club thing happening. Actually, can I read the opening? Please, yeah. Hello, I'm Gray 76.

Hey, Gray. Yay! Yes. Under the streets in Moscow. Sorry, this is Cage Fight. Anyway. Under the streets in Moscow, in metro gangs, the furs met in a secret tunnel that no one used to hold cage fights. For money, for rep, or just to see furs kill each other.

Gray was one of the fighters. Tacking part in all this. He had just won a match against a bull and was getting ready for the next he wore army combat trousers and vest and he also wore hand straps the same that boxers

put on under their gloves. It's called tape. Yeah, you don't want to get hurt. Your hands hurt just boxing up all those boxes, right? Where do I get these special boxing hand straps from? At the boxing store.

All right, now that I've said the word, I think we're starting the role play already. Right, here we go. He said entering the box cage, one more, the ground shock. As 600-pound hypo entered the cage, gray eyes widened entered the cage gray eyes widened and he gulps on crap he said as new paragraph his body shacks a bit the bell rings gray hollow was pooching the hypo in the belly but his skin riples like a drip in water. Crap Gray said, looking up at his app-o-nite. Wow!

Oh, it's a poignant. It's a poignant. A-P-I-N-I-N-T. This guy flashed back to elementary school and his fifth grade teacher saying, Sound it out. Sound it out. App-o-nate.

That's what he did. I thought it was a new MySQL typo at first the hypo smile and then punt to cha gray to the ground with such fours gray kofs up a bit of blood

hypo ha ha wolf go down hard the hypo said and every time said is spelled S-E-D A bit of blood. Hypo. Ha ha. Wolf go down hard. The hypo said. And every time said is spelled S-E-D. Right. Starting throwing gray around like weepons where the throne in the cage gray saw cinder block. And the cinder was spelled correctly. And ran for the hypo treed to swing for him. But gray duked.

Grabing the. the sign of the sinder block i take that praise away and then jumps runs up the cage walls then kicks off slow motion for our soniness. Slow motion. Slow motion. Yeah, slow motion. So he has bullet time, this character? Yeah. Yeah. He lifes the block over his head

and brings it down on the hypo's head, bracking the block into little pezzes. That doesn't seem legal at all. Like little pezz dispensers. I don't think you can break a cinder block over somebody's head in a fight. The hypo seam dies

then fall back as he hits the ground, the cage shack. And stay down, Gray said, cleaning the blood from his nose. As in a bunch of people that voted against something.

And exits the cage and sits, lening angst, a wall sighing heavily. A rat stands on a box, shouting to everyone who wishes to fight next. He's just shouting at everyone. I want to fight next. You want to fight next?

I'm shouting at you. And that was after Autofix. I want to fight next. He's just shouting at everyone. I want to fight next. You want to fight next? I'm shouting at you. And that was after Autofix. I want to fight next. Yeah, no, he's just trained his keyboard to spell like that. I'm sick of those red squiggles, so I just accepted them. I don't understand why... The computer's red squiggles represent the blood still.

All right. I just assume the red squiggles underline the parts that the computer thinks are really awesome. Good, good. Exclamation point, exclamation point. We are going to close on a story, and Isfahan, it is up to you to decide which story we're going to close on here. I have four choices for you. Wow. Number one is called Young Ambitious College Freshman by Boy Toy.

Number two is called Sue Gets Hypnotized by Seppel. By the way, this is fan fiction about the fucking porno card game. Yeah. Yeah, we're coming back to that. It's about the cards.

Number three is called College Personals Number One. And number four is called Hazing Ritual. I think I'll go with that first one. All right. Young, ambitious college freshman by Boy Toy. Yeah, so take it, won't you, please? Boy. He's not your boy toy uh yeah so uh take it watch it please he's not your boy toy hi everyone i'm a slender five foot five inch 115 pound mouse. Yep. Checks out. I have white hair,

violet eyes, a feminine voice, and an insane sense of curiosity. Checks out too. I'm quiet until I spend a bit of time with people. It takes a little while before I can open up.

I'm a pretty active conversationalist, but I can be shy. I'm a pretty active conversationalist, but I can be shy. Compliments and the like tend to embarrass me, especially about my eyes. I'm looking for someone who's intellectual, full of personality,

and has interests the same as mine. I'm moderately effeminate, and I don't do a lot of quote-unquote guy things. I'm moderately effeminate and I don't do a lot of quote unquote guy things. I don't like sports, trucks, chopping wood,

or anything like that. I don't like fire. I don't like fire or fireplaces. I just want to stay away from fire entirely. Hey, Rick, how was your weekend? Oh, it was real good.

Chopped the best fucking wood. Most of the time, I'm content to watch shows, play a few games, and go out to explore new places. Wow, you sound really sexually adventurous. Mm-hmm. I'm a freshman at the Open Residence for Advanced Learning. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I get it. The School for Education.

Well, the acronym is ORAL. Yeah. Good. And I'm getting my BS in physics with a minor in photography. You are not. That has never happened. No human being has done that thing simultaneously. I don't know.

That's just how ambitious this college freshman is. Good advanced learning. Want to take a peek at me? I can't show you everything. But maybe if we become good friends, we can play around a bit. Yeah, yeah, hello? Hi, hi, hi, it's me, Spitty Kitty. Hi, Spitty Kitty, everybody.

Hi, Spitty Kitty. You sound fun. I want to invite you over and allow you to touch my furniture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to touch everything. I want to touch everything. I just want to put everything in my hands on everything. Oh, hi, I want to call and talk with you. I just want to roll in grass and spend time with you and a special friend. Special friend, I want to meet everything. I just want to put everything in my hands on everything. Oh, hi. I want to call and talk with you.

I just want to roll in grass and spend time with you and a special friend. Special friend. I want to meet you, too. Oh, we can tell each other good stories and just fall asleep in grass. Wake up and play more. How's it sound? How's it sound? You're doing okay.

I'm just going to. Bye, Spitty Kitty. Talk to you later, Spitty Kitty. I'm so glad we installed that chute. Just hit the red button under the desk. The Monty Burns button. So what did we learn from any of this? The people that like this game, I don't think they even like the game.

We never found anybody who actually enjoyed a time playing this game with other people. There's no reason to combine these two things, no matter how much you like both of them. Well, I mean, playing Magic the Gathering can take away from precious, precious furry porn viewing time, though. If you like to collect porn, just collect porn. Don't try to make it into a card game. Yeah. Like, if you want to... Like, there are times when fur furries are like i want to take my furry thing into everything and i'm like well okay i guess you can make a furry like something but like you this is actively against like you can't

do furry and like hard to play hard to learn card game at the same time. Why don't you just build a Rube Goldberg machine for beating off? Just do that! I think you definitely can, because it is a fanbase with a ceaseless supply of money and enthusiasm. Yes, we have learned that in other episodes.

Yes, but slowly and deliberately playing combing through rules to figure out which combination of of like rules text is the best way to win is literally the least sexy thing possible like you can't there's nothing that is further from sex that human beings do yeah like i mean yeah so so like yeah there was a there was a uh point in my life where i played magic the gathering and i regret that time but like but like there was um the art of it was kind of interesting because there was sort of like this

specific thing like the specific thing that was expressed in the art that was kind of interesting to look at i suppose except for like because all of this art is just fucking ripped off from like whatever like none of the shit is consistent at all like it's all horrifying but like there's such a variety of like crap to like this worldview um that uh i don't think there's any, like, overarching... Well, I think nowhere in here is there any sort of overarching attempt at consistency. Well, no. The purpose

of this game is to have a bunch of cards with furry porn on them. That's the primary function of the game so far as I can tell. It seems to be what people are concerned about, all this roleplay and the sex talk and all that stuff yeah i mean if you put in a game you beat off to i mean in every rule section they made sure that they set aside a section of the rules to just talk about the fact that there's art on the card so the thing the thing about it that's confusing to me though

is that like this is this is the internet age like all of these people, they found out about this fucking thing through the internet. They already have DeviantArt's accounts. They already have all of the furry porn they need. They've already seen these pictures. So it's not like something where it's like, oh, hey, here's a place in my life where there's furry. There's already furry porn. So you're thinking about it backwards. It's there's a place in my life where furry porn

isn't yet. Yeah, yeah, exactly. They're just trying to jam it in everywhere. What card does that? And speaking of jamming it anywhere, I've got a plug for a website. It's called Ballpen. Which one should I do? I recently tried to turn

today, the day of this recording, I tried to turn Great Sex Tips into an Android app and within 20 minutes was rejected by the Google Play Store. But I don't really give a fuck about Android apps anyway because they're dumb. So, greatsex.tips also dumb.men Those are good enough. Also, Bad Accents Club is still fun to play. talking about android apps anyway because they're dumb so uh great sex dot tips uh also uh dumb dot

men those are good enough also bad accents club still fun to play uh and come to ball pit and bye This is our last dance. This is ourselves. Booty, booty, booty, booty, rocking everywhere. Booty, booty, booty, booty, rocking everywhere. Booty, booty, booty, booty, rocking everywhere. Booty, booty, booty, booty, rocking everywhere. I found you, Miss New Booty. Get it together and bring it back to me. TV Guthrie sang about

BETS Everything is in incognito mode I used to bother with that I just figure at this point Google has no fucking clue What's up This guy This guy's into everything i've just can i try to advertise to him about it well like i basically don't get anything targeted at this

point because i think i've just three stooged them yeah they can't yeah they're just too embarrassed at this point i don't't know. Paper towels? Everybody needs those. He sounds like he could go through a lot of toilet tissue. Just give him that. Google will eventually figure out a profile that is just like nothing but like F plus participants.

Well, there's like 15 or so people that really build into this demographic. Yeah.