The F Plus - 273: Flashlight Enthusiasts?

Episode Date: January 17, 2018

There's a couple hundred thousand members of CandlePowerForums and I don't mind telling you: those folks are really into flashlights. In what is probably our most jargon-filled episode, we're exploring the predilictions of these (exclusively) men who want to share their obsession with their wives and children, who are having none of it. This week, The F Plus is attaching the tube to our tub, and the tub to our tube.

Everyone's intro is better than mine. Sorry to outshine you. Oh, fuck. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh. the F Plus Podcast, a terrible place for terrible things, read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight, we have Boots Reingear. I don't smoke, but it might be a good idea to carry a pack just in case a girl asks me for one.

Even though I don't really want a girl who smokes. They all do, and I can't be picky. Achilles Heelies. Never try to talk to gals. Just listen up whenever she says or making noise. And just smile at her. Never show your tooth. Never! Frank West? What is the best burning laser to purchase? I meant to say what is the best laser for burning purposes? Not Shell Gulag. This guy knows his F's. Flashlights and females!

Jack Chick. You might be a flash-a-holic when you go to AA meetings thinking there's free batteries! And Lemon. Oddly enough, when I do co-op, I seem to attract mostly the late teens, early 20s crowd, even though I'm 42. And a habitual truth teller. Gross. Now go to your original delight Hey, F-Plus. Hey, Lemon. Hey, I have an important question to ask all of you.

Okay, what is your question? Are you afraid of the dark? Yes. Okay. Sure. To such a point that I get goosebumps about it. I have a nightlight. It's a different book, I think.

I think it's a different book. I'm a pixelated man and I'm afraid of Lovecraft. Nutshell, what do you find so scary about the dark? I'm afraid that Michael Jackson from the Thriller video is going to come and eat my face. Okay, okay. What? Is that a reoccurring dream that you have? No. Okay. okay okay what is that is that a reoccurring dream that you have no okay yes well let's fucking eject from it so here we go um this is uh this is a document um that has

a lot of history um there's a particular person a a friend of the podcast by the name of Montreth. I love you, Montreth! Yes, yes, we all love you, Montreth. And Montreth has been working on a document for flashlight enthusiasts for probably two years. And the reason why I know that is that at one point, Montreth said that I think there's probably something in people who are really into flashlights. And I said, okay. And then she started texting me things that she found.

And this has been going on for many moons. Yes, since 2015. Yeah. So I have not looked at this document. I am not sure what's going to happen here. I can't really even lead you into the very idea of what's going on with these flashlight fetishists. But I know that this is a labor of love on Monstrous Part. And to that end, I

think that we should really explore what's going on. So we're going to start in an unusual place called Reddit. Hello, Reddit. Hi, Reddit. We've missed you dearly. We are going to a subreddit called

rFlashlight. Flashlight, singular. rflashlight. And Achilles, your name is Grimland. I am Grimland. Yeah, can you tell me about this? The thread is called First World Flashaholic Problems? Uh-huh. Great.

It's an unpopular Twitter hashtag. I'm going to get it going. Okay. My name is Grimlad. I love opportunities to show off my lights. It leaves some people in amazement how far flashlights have come in terms of brightness and others

with puzzled looks on their faces. Of course no power outage would be complete without the remark from photon hating individual. Photon hating? Yeah. Okay. I've got... Photon haters? Yeah. Okay.

Photon haters gonna photon hate. I've got so many haters. Why do you carry a flashlight everywhere? At which point you can illuminate the possibilities by cauterizing their optical nerve with the 1,000 lumens pocket sun you happen to be carrying that day. Oh, so you're an asshole. No, I am Grimlon. If they are not still impressed, demonstrate the strike bezel, switch to stroke, flick

the torch off, then disappear like a fucking ninja and let them find their way out from their newly acquired night blindness. Oh, wow. Wow, this Batman read-a-boo is the best one yet. Smiley face. Hey, so I'm McFarley6996. We had a power outage for about an hour about a month ago, my new job. I guess it happens quite often because

they had flashlights ready in key locations and everything but they were only the cheap 2xd battery bulb flashlights so though so i busted out my triple xpg2s3 and lit up the whole place mine was probably twice as bright as the six other lights combined. Nice. I felt like a king among peasants. And you were. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Uh, uh, so my name is Infinity526. is Infinity 526.

I do so intentionally with my M3X SUT, my M3Xert. In my apartment complex, when people have their TVs or stereos on

way too damn loud in the middle of the night. Works like a charm. It is worth noting that Lemon is reading from a thread titled Is it illegal if I shine a flashlight in my neighbor's window? Oh, sorry. Thank you for that clarification, Jack. Oh, thank you, yeah.

I was very confused. It's an important context that I missed. I'm Dilk. A 5-watt water-cooled lab laser would be better for that. I'm Dilk a 5 watt water cooled lab laser would be better for that especially for the nerdy girl in my blog that practices the cellotopolis

in the middle of the night have you seen the word cello god damn it I just read phonetically guys I swear to god I don't even paint, like, I literally I have a secret. I have not actually comprehended a single word that I've said in the entire podcast.

That's a good self-preservation. You should form a support group with Bunny Bread. What? What's Frank? Because who would say no to a nerdy girl playing the cello topless? Yeah, that's something that happened. I'm TedJ70.

I have the weirdest boner right now. I don't understand why everyone in this Reddit thread has a nerd voice. That's weird. This isn't a nerd voice. Oh, I'm so sorry. I am a flashlight enthusiast. I thought it was a weird boner voice.

Can it be both? It's usually both. That's not British. No worries. It's perfectly normal. Powerful lasers are like guns. Made to disintegrate things. Well, I mean, okay.

Made to disintegrate things. Sorry, call Isfahan. Let's stop right here. No, I'm issuing a damn challenge to Isfahan. Lasers are like guns. Prove him wrong. Choose your weapon. Yeah, guns are made to disintegrate things. Guns are made to disintegrate things. Guns are made to disintegrate things. That's what you use a gun for.

I use guns for all my dusting. But a lot of fun if you take care of and respect them. A couple years ago, I built a 5-watt 405mm blue laser with mostly eBay parts. The emitter came from an Epson projector. That's

what the gurus at the forum said at the time was the right one. You rolled your own flashlight? What, you use some off-the-shelf shit? God, I do. I'm so sorry. No, I didn't. It's always fun knowing new things that I can feel shameful about.

You fucking narc Hello fellows Are we discussing flashlights? Yes I had zero Previous experience with lasers And electronics Apart from some Arduino tinkering

And my friend who helped me Was just a little more knowledgeable The most expensive part were the goggles two pairs lots of fun also one to wear on your head they were covered in cogs but also scary as all hell especially when random things in your room Start catching on fire And you have to stomp them with your foot While the laser is going Man this is the most

Thing that happened actually For real thing I've ever heard Well the fire was just his roommate You know setting things on fire like he does It wasn't the laser So nutshell your name Is a second story his roommate, you know, setting things on fire like he does. It wasn't the laser. So, nutshell, your name is A Second Story.

A Second Story. And this thread is called A Small Story That I Felt the Urge to Share With People Who Would Understand. Alright. I found this subreddit a few months back and slowly started following. Last month,

I bought my first, and I have plans for several others as well, slowly learning my why around the subject. My Wyoming around the subject, yes. Thank you, Kitty. That said, I was invited to go play some rounds of Airsoft yesterday, and of course, I brought my flashlight with me.

While playing, I realized several others had flashlights of their own. Excitedly, I went up and talked with them about flashlights, only to have them have no interest. They all just... Is it gay if I touch other guys' flashlights? Only if the

batteries touch? They all just got whatever light came with their guns, and I don't know them well enough to recognize them on sight yet. It was then I realized I was more excited to talk to these guys about flashlights than I was about airsoft. Thanks, guys!

Thank you. Thank you for this. That you've helped me see the light. Upon learning my friend uses a cheapo ultra fire for his airsoft rifle, I sent him several recommendations as to what he may want. I'm not sure if he'd be interested enough to ever check out this place or CPF out, but I'll give it a shot. Wow, way to join the conversation. Good job, deleted.

My name's Luison. In Airsoft, it's amusing. People are willing to spend so much on getting their camo patterns just right, then don't give a fuck and buy the cheapest sights and lights and then bitch about how they don't work. I don't give a fuck and buy the cheapest sights and lights and then bitch about how they don't work.

I don't know much about lights. How fucking effective is a sight on an airsoft rifle? Is it like a laser sight? I mean, it depends on what you're trying to disintegrate, I think. Yeah. I don't even bother loading

the fucking thing. They're not for long-range shots, they're corrective lenses. For reading. So, Saboot's wanted us to go scroll back up in this document here to a thread on this subreddit called, Does anyone else play with their flashlight in the bathroom?

And the original poster says, I like to put mine on strobe and pretend I'm in a rave. Pooping at the rave. I'm Medphil. I'm Medphil. It's the first place I take a new light. No windows, so I can make it pitch black, even if it's daytime. And it's a small room, so even a small light can blow the roof off.

Okay. You're gonna tear the roof off the sucker. Yeah. Achilles, your name is Emarkda? Emarkda? Not exactly what you mean, but I used my EDC yesterday morning to illuminate a very dark

porta potty. We have a return of the porta potty peeper again. Look, it was early in the day and overcast, so not bright out at all. Inside the port-a-potty was nearly pitch black. Light on high, tail standing on that little plastic shelf that goes around the exhaust vent. Wait, what? And it's an exhaust vent and I don't buy into your fucking terms and ceiling bouncing on that white roof gave me

plenty of light the problem with porta-potties is? The air circulation could be worse. Just imagine being at an outdoor festival, it's at night, and you're waiting in line for a porta-potty, and all of a sudden it just lights the fuck up. Oh shit, I guess the show's over here. I wouldn't have even been in there, but when a three-year-old has to go, he has to go. What? I don't know. Presumably he's with his child. He was escorting a kid who didn't want to go

into the dark. Oh, I did a wrong interpretation of this. You know, we're not in fetish territory yet. Yeah. And watering the grass seemed like a bad idea since we were in a school group.

A more direct answer to your question, however, is that I play with my lights all the time. Another good use of moonlight modes is that you can fiddle with them without bothering everyone in the room. We all know about moonlight modes. Yeah, yeah. Well, everyone on slash r slash reddit or slash r slash flashlight does. Frank West, I want you to make a choice here, all right? I'm good at those.

Good, okay. So thread number one is called Holiday Confessions of a Flashaholic. of a flashaholic. And thread number two is called, what is a good age to give my child a flashlight? I'm going to have to go with the give my child a flashlight. Alright, so if you will

ask the question here, your name is Cooking Gun. That's a good name, actually. So this is, yeah, this is Cooking Gun, and this is a cross post from r slash parenting. We don't fucking know anything about flashlights over there.

What is a good age to give my child a flashlight to read in bed with? My three-year-old is requesting a flashlight so he can read in bed after bedtime. He's not allowed to turn on the overhead or bedside lamps, as we feel this would interfere with his sleep way too much.

It is something he has been asking for for a couple months now, and my wife and I are not sure how to proceed. I have very fond memories of reading my flashlight under the covers, as it were, and my wife and I are not sure how to proceed. I have very fond memories of reading my flashlight under the covers, as it were, and don't really want to deny him this.

Any advice? Also, clearly, what kind of flashlight? I mean, of course, fellas, right? I'd like a flashlight to read, like, read at night. Okay, but you have to be weird about it, okay? Make sure it's a whole fucking thing.

You know, Lemons, funny you bring this up. Why? So my name's Zero, or Error. Funny you bring this up. I have said this here before and will soon have a review slash unboxing up about it, but... Where's the fucking link, dude? Ellipsis. My less than two-year-old has a few toys that only take primaries.

I still don't know why they won't take rechargeables, but whatever. The toys just don't work with them. So I end up with a bunch of nearly discharged AA batteries batteries still with life but not enough to run toys it's a flashlight guy i thought what better way to drain them i purchased a zebra light sc52 which is a single double a light has the option of very bright high of 280 lumens, but more importantly, it can go very, very low. Low to the point of uselessness. And I told you that lightly. But what your kid would need, it'd be perfect. The grippies are also perfectly sized for little hands.

So having said all that, this is the light that my kid gets to play around with. It's perfect for her hand, really. She doesn't get the UI user interface, really. But she's not even two yet. The UI? The UI! Yes, the flashlight UI. Of course. It's a programmable flashlight, naturally.

The GUI is not like that. Don't worry, Lemon. At some point, UI will make its way into web design. Good, good. I'm a flashlight UX expert. Available for consulting, if you need it. I wish there was a way to lock the high lumen modes out, but there isn't. Zebralight SC52, battery type and quantity AAX1, price $64, style pocket carry slash clip carry. Body material. Aluminum. Activation mechanism. Clicky. Beam type. Throw.

LED type. Cree. XM-L. Cool white. Availability. In production. Slash. Virtual available.

Manufacturer. Amazon. YouTube. Imager link. $64. Foot carry? Yeah, for your two-year-old. Yeah, $64.

I mean, how else will they read their anamorphs, I guess? So the zebra light H31 is a, it's a headlight. So it won't fit on a two year old.

Even better. In case you wanted a more spendy light. Yeah, you gotta custom make a special headstrap for your two year old to wear this light. Yeah, you gotta custom make a special head strap for your two-year-old to wear this light. No, actually, later on in that post

he does recommend different kinds of headlamps that might work better. Hi, I'm Sladellian and I've got a good question for you. You really just recommended a $64 flashlight for this guy's three-year-old to take to bed at night?

Well, to be fair, he also said after all that, that I'm not saying this light will be best for your three-year-old son. I'm just a brand ambassador. Come on. I'm just really pumped about it. Then there's a parenting slap fight. But, Boots, you got a new thread you want to bring to us, right? Oh, I like your username.

I like your username a lot. Yeah. I am. Great. Yep. I'm BikesBabe'sBeer. Yeah. Yes, you are.

Hell yeah. Yeah, so I had a dream about flashlights. Wait, your name isn't Bipes Baked Beer Flashlights. Yeah. Well, you know, it was between my dreams about Bikes Babes and beer. And Bike Babe Beer. Yeah. I had a dream that focused on flashlights, so I thought I would share it with you guys in an abbreviated version.

Oh, an abbreviated version? Come on. Why would you cheat us like that? Give me those deets. So, my wife and I just moved into a new home. We're unpacking slash setting up our house. I had all my lights and some throwers I've been wanting. In front, I don't know. In front of me and strategically placing them all around our house

in case of emergency situations. Yep, yep. You know, shit hits the fan kind of scenario. And dark things are there. In the apocalypse, we'll be able to trade all these flashlights for actual goods and services. And by dark things, I just mean things you can't really see that well when it's not lighted. By dark things, I just mean things you can't really see that well when it's not lighted. After I was done, I went out back and did a beam test in my new backyard with an old four-cell mag versus my new thrower.

That's basically the dream. Wow! Nice dream, man. Wow! However, if I had a dream about it, that means the universe wants me to have it, right? Right. Yeah, that means the universe wants me to have it, right? Right. Yeah, that's how dreams work. I just thought he was setting up

the stage for when he went to bed and had the dream. Nope! Nope, that was my dream. But it was not just a dream, it was a prophecy. Really a dream we've all had. Yeah, because I was comparing a mag mag light to a new thrower.

Throws light in the yard. The document Montreux put in front of us is 41 pages, so I've been doing some very judicious skipping here. Skipping over this thread called Need a Tactical Use Only Flashlight. No more than $175. You don't even belong in this fucking subreddit. Yeah, but, but, yeah.

Unless you're willing to spend $500 on a flashlight. But that thread has a user by the name of Nancy fucking Grace. Okay. Nancy fucking Grace says my overall goal is to blind people. So, it's Nancy Grace. You make a good cup. Anyway, but we're

going to skip down because we do have another site to get to. So, before we get there, i just wanted to ask you something um hey has anyone ever gotten into an argument with your significant other over this stuff i'm sure i'm sure the answer is no oh no i'm sure the answer is no i mean you know it's just i'm just really concerned about her illumination, and I'm just trying to help her out. Yeah.

So, my girlfriend is a runner and has been using my Army Tech Partner C2, primarily the strobe, to be seen when crossing the streets, etc., on runs after work because it fits in her hand well. She runs with it in her hand? Okay. God, I'm such a fucking dork. I thought this meant, like, she was a shadow runner. You aren't such a dork. Jesus, God. Running? Let's see. What does running conjure?

Yeah, no, right, shadow run, of course. Okay, so I get the idea to build her one. I need an excuse. With a simple UI for strobe and a mode to actually see stuff. Guppy driv strobe 100% no memory. You're welcome. So I'm asking her what she would like it to have, and I may have well been speaking a foreign language.

I guess I thought the concepts were more simple to understand. It ended with her in tears and she's still using the partner C2 on her runs. Oh my god, what a bitch. Jack, check your BS

Mac 45. Just a quick Google of guppy drive 100%. It's a custom firmware that you install into a flashlight apparently. Jesus Christ. Okay. I've been opened up to a whole new world.

He's been contracting out for UX designers for his guppy drive. It's literally just on or off. No, how dare you? But Frank, what about a little bit on or a little bit off? You want to bring back the dark ages, don't you? I mean, if that means I get to get rid of this flashlight, then yes. Jack Check? Jack Check, you're BSMac45?

Do not question. How did a conversation about flashlights end in tears? You guys may have bigger issues than her not understanding flashlight lingo. Yeah, I mean, we do. It was also her time of the month, so that didn't help. Ah, go fuck yourself. Yeah. Hey, what? Oh, you're on your time of the month, too!

God, it's like every woman that I talk to is on her time of the month. That's weird. I think I see the problem here. What? What is it? By the way, you got minus three points for that one, then. Oh. What? God is it? By the way, you got minus three points for that lemon. Awwww.

What? God damn it! Six, six, six fixed. Can someone read KB, please? And their responses to this. Of course not. I don't have an SO, it can't happen ooooh wow just bumming out every thread

was that Lammy? Lemmy's cousin? I just really I just really like the depressive version of I don't have this problem goodbye alright it is time for us to leave reddit I'll never forever

no no cheering we're leaving reddit great we are leaving reddit and instead we are going to the candle power forums candle power forums the power of candle box that's what happens Candle Power Forums. Boom! We're going to the Candle Power Forums! It's the power of Candle Box.

That's what happens on these forums. Come on. Sorry. This is a perfectly fine episode until he's brought the Candle Box out. Yeah, so the Candle Power Forums is a actual goddamn forum that actually goddamn exists. There are 305,000 threads.

What? Yeah. What? Spread out 4,570,905 posts. What the fuck? 300,000 members. Okay. Flashlights.

At what point in the lifetime of this podcast do I stop being surprised? I don't know. It gets a lot less fun. The day you die, Fred. The day you die. Just exist in a state of constant amazement. Really? Yeah, so there's a whole bunch of fun forums here.

They got lasers, LEDs, knives. Knives aren't flashlights. Cheers and jeers. What to buy. Man, oh my god, so many posts in here. But let's start off. They have a water sports forum. Really?

Oh, is that kind of a water sports forum? I'm going to guess that's canoeing this time Oh there's a space it is actually You gotta light it just right Oh good finally we're in F plus territory This whole like Things aren't weird sex thing Is just really kinda setting me a teeth on edge

It does really yeah It does really just like You're waiting for that other shoe Yeah like What's the best flashlight to convert into a flashlight really, yeah, it does really just like you're waiting for that other shoe. Yeah, like what's the best flashlight to convert into a flashlight? I'm waiting for the other shoe to you know, have somebody have sex with it.

Um, okay, so this thread right here is called Flashlights in TV Shows and Movies. My name is Square11098. Does anyone know what flashlights they use in CSI Las Vegas, NYC, Miami? I've noticed that in some episodes for CSI LV, they've used other SF M3s or M4s. LV, they've used other SF M3s or M4s.

As for movies, in the first parts of National Treasure, Nicolas Cage and the crew seem to be using SF M6s. Thoughts? Comments? Observations? These are the guys that were going on about how the flashlights in Stranger Things

weren't authentic to the 80s, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. I'm really excited about the idea of CSI Las Vegas Stranger Things weren't authentic to the 80s, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. God. I'm really excited about the idea of CSI Las Vegas using M4 carbines as flashlights. Why is that? Oh, yeah, yeah. Assault rifles. Yeah.

And so, Achilles, your name is Elgarak. Signs of being a flashaholic. You use the back button and still button on TiVo and DVD player whenever a flashlight passes by to identify it again Jeff Foxworthy yeah we all get it yeah here's your sign, fuck. Even if other family members are present... Oh boy. At the beginning, CSI LV was using streamlights almost exclusively, Scorpion, and Ultra Stinger. The Ultra Stinger was quickly replaced with SFM4s.

Does CSI have a flashlight consultant? I'm pretty sure Elgarac has a spreadsheet. And it's so beautiful. The first LED they used was an Innova X5. They still mostly use inkens that photograph nicer. LEDs are too blue and produce a cold and harsh look on film. However, on CSI Miami, they used an L4 a bit. Also on CSI Miami, I saw an SL Stryon.

Law and Order mostly uses Scorpion. Hello 911, my dad has been rewinding and playing the same 10 seconds of Law & Order for two hours, and I'm dying of boredom. Please. Please send help. Send the jaws of life. Son, it's a strion, and you should respect that. Star Trek Enterprise.

Wait a minute. Star Trek Enterprise, you know. Oh, okay. Okay, never mind. I mean, I don't know. I just love it. So, featured a modified M4, I think. They mounted a collar with blue LEDs behind the head. On the trivia track on the DVDs,

they mentioned how happy the set and prop designers were about the development of blue LEDs, how happy the set and prop designers were about the development of blue LEDs, which they did not have during the early 90s on Star Trek, TNG, DS9, and Voyager. Hey, Elgarac, do you have a thing? No. Okay. I just, everyone knows this stuff. Do you think that Elgarak charges a monthly fee to look at all of his flashlight data?

I mean... Just give that shit open source. Come on. I mean, I've done the work. You pay for it. And JackTick? Hi, I'm LetThereBeLight. Oh, I get it. This past Monday? Ellipsis?

CSI Miami? Ellipsis? The blonde was getting on another CSI about not having fresh batteries in the mag light in the kit? I don't know if the actors know they were using high-tech lights or not. Ellipsis! I don't know if the show's producers want them to make it know that they are knowledgeable about the fact that they are using a high-tech light. They usually use surefires from what I can remember.

Ellipsis, maybe that was just a slip of the tongue? No, it's cool, because, you know, actors write all their own dialogue. Hey, man, before we start this scene, I just need to know, does my character know he's holding one of the finest flashlights of my time? Well, no, I just, like, Christopher Guest directed that episode of CSI Miami, so the whole bit. Yeah, yeah. No, it'll be a joke for the audience

that you're ignorant of how great your flashlight is. The audience will really enjoy it. God damn it. Jesus fucking God. Frank West, why don't you take a Sween 1911, please. Sween 1911. Those lights are just awesome

in usage you know that movie was on the other night my wife was telling me something and I did that husband trick where you turn your whole head but keep your eyes on the TV I couldn't stop watching as they had just entered that dank

dark warehouse area and those SF's began piercing the darkness. Yeah, honey, uh-huh. Mm. Of course I'm listening to you. Audible wink. Bing. You sound fun.

Actually, Boots, take Knife Master, please. Knife Master? Yeah, right there knife master undog the bounty hunter they used a thor and some other lights i was rolling on the floor when his wife was mentioned in one episode that man think flashlights are cool. It was when dog was looking for a bullhorn. Is dog a flashaholic?

Obviously. The one thing you didn't notice is that man think flashlights are cool and then Dragon Ball Z smiley face holding a sign that says LOL. Great.

Achilles, can you do that other Elgarak one that I just posted in the chat? Sure. On the current episode of Bones, 4th October, they used Gladi. Seems to be a

permanent extension, since all main characters had one, while the guest had the standard SL Scorpion in can. And Bones did not took good care of her equipment. She arrived fresh on the scene with empty batteries. The Gladius blinked. The teaser ended with a beautiful overhead shot with three. Are we there for? Gladiab beams nicely exposed, shining up. Is this now a spoiler for the non-flashaholics?

Who cares about them? They're not really people. This is like when those fetish kids are like, oh my god they made that episode to be fan service, except they think that for every episode of every fucking thing where a flashlight shows up?

Yeah, the further we go, the less sure I am that this isn't a fetish thing. Are you saying you don't put that much thought into your flashlight choices? The X-Files is the greatest show ever made. I mean, there's porn on here somewhere, right? I hope so. There's a lot of posts.

Look for it. I feel like these people have just completely sublimated their sexual attraction into this flashlight fetish, and they don't even know. How many lumens can measure my sexual attraction? So, nutshell,

you're about to be Jaguar Dave in Oz, and I have a question that I'm going to ask you, okay? Okay. So, I just have a question to ask you. What did you use your flashlight for today? Hey, CPF.

I thought maybe we could get a rolling thread started. Just let everyone know one or more things you used your lights for on the calendar date you were posting. So, like, you can't fucking cheat on a midnight switch. No, no, no. It has to be on the calendar day. It's very important. Feel free to use the below posting format or if you only have time

for a quick one-liner. That's alright too. Winky face. Okay. Okay. Okay. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I need to do duh. Flashlight. R-A. Clicky high. C-R-I. I used for the low setting on my RA was used to

check on my injured pup while she was resting. Didn't even know that I was looking on her. Thumbs up smiley face. So what have you used your lights for today? Okay, so I've got a new Jetbeam Jet IV3R2 and in the daytime

I looked at a mouse hole on medium and then I looked at a mouse hole on medium, and then I looked at a different mouse hole on maximum, and then I looked for some car parts and sheds on shelves on medium, and then I looked for paint cans and shed on shelves on medium, and then I looked inside an engine manifold on medium, and I looked inside the gardening shed for a shovel on medium, and then I looked inside a lizard hole buried dragon on maximum, and then

I took a lizard to a wood pile and watched him crawl over under the wood on medium, and then at nighttime, I scared the three horses back out of the creek on maximum. And I checked the cockatoos and their aviaries on medium. And I checked and locked up the machinery shed on medium. I locked all the gates on medium. And to woodpile to bring in wood for fireplaces on medium. And I took the dog out to his toilet on medium and maximum.

And then I took the dog out again later to his toilet and bed on medium and maximum again, and it's a paddock to check rain gauge and reset min-max thermometer on medium, and will go out shortly to check yard's paddock and cockatoos again for bed on maximum and medium! What sort of fucking house do you live in?

Like, what sort of weird Tom and Jerry cartoon do you exist inside of? Every day he decides, okay, so how can I enhance my home more that I could use my flashlight more often? Well, they've got horses and a cockatoo aviary, so I'm picturing Australia. He's like, shit, it's 6 p.m.

I've got to scare the horses with my flashlight. You live inside of Resident Evil 7. Okay. Achilles? On 5.30 at around 11.30pm I heard a car accident out behind my house.

I literally had just finished cleaning the threads on my cork AA Carrot 2 and put in a freshly charged pair of Rayovac LSD bats about five minutes prior. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-flashlight man. If Batman had better flashlights, he would do a better job. Off I went through the backyard and found a Jeep Liberty rolled over on the driver's side. The other SUV was still on all four wheels with a smashed in front end. I went to the Jeep with my light on turbo mode and found a young woman that was in good shape but legs still slightly trapped by the steering wheel,

scarred and shaken up. Yo, you looking fit, girl. Oh, that's not what he means by good shape. No, no, that's not what he means. There's no fetish stuff here, Boots. It's just about flashlights. Good, cool flashlights. No fetish stuff. I Boots. It's just about flashlights. Good, cool flashlights. I kept the light shining.

I kept the light shining by the passenger seat and obviously lit the cabin so we could see how she was and kept talking to her until police and paramedics arrived. By having my light, her friends that arrived within about three minutes of the accident were able to see she was okay and to try to comfort her. It felt good to be able to help, and I'm thankful the people involved in the accident were not seriously injured. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I mean, my light, I mean, my light, small it is, is way outclassed the camp and spotlight lantern a neighbor came up with.

I mean, and the 4g cell mag the first officer had i used it for about 20 minutes and it got warm but definitely not too hot to handle how often do you make the jerk off motion when anyone else turns on their headlights i mean how do you shine a light, brother? I brought this light a couple of months ago about reading posts and reviews here and want to say thank you to this community. Best regards, Tom. My name's Lovin' Him.

My aunt, who is a truck driver, was showing me her new flashlight. She thinks it is bright and she uses it to help back up the big rig and her other things. She bought it at an auto parts store, which is one word. It is an LED keychain light, two of them for $5. She saw my little tiny four sevens pre-on two in my pocket and was joking about my tiny little cute flashlight. She challenged me to a flashlight duel. Yeah!

Okay, so we're on good for sale now, right? Well, what was I to do? After all, I could not miss this chance to have some fun. We go outside in the darkness and she says, Well, let's see what your little pen light could do. So I turn it on low. Yeah. By this time, she is picking on me in a fun way

and turns on her light and starts to gloat. She is having fun. So now I turn on the Priyana Hoppinoch, which of course puts her light to shame. Yeah. So that shut her up. Well, just like Mythbusters. I'm a creep, by the way. Yeah, just like Mythbusters. I'm a creep, by the way. Yeah, just like Mythbusters.

Well, just like Mythbusters. I couldn't stop there, so I go for hi. And that unshot her up. What she said, I'm not going to type here. Needless to say, I had fun with that tiny, little, wimpy, pre-on-two, happy face. Jack, you got something to read? Yeah, I do. I am Locooy5151. All right, great.

Earlier tonight, I went out on an after-dinner late-night walk with my girlfriend. I took along my new Phoenix TK-20 since we would be walking around the high school running track behind her place, and I needed a light with some throw due to the large area surrounding the track. The TK-20. It's a responsible boyfriend who brings protection. No! That show visibly hated that joke. Yep.

Audibly. No, visibly. No, she visibly hated it too. On this podcast. Oh, wow. Our visual podcast. The TK-20 worked out great i was thinking about taking my phoenix tk40 but it was just too big the tk20 was a nice compromise at one time some but at one time someone was riding a bike around the track and the led bike light mounted to his handlebars was pathetically dim. Oh, God. Typical. It looked like it had about four or five Nietzsche LEDs in it. Why people buy any lights with those lame things in them completely baffles me.

When he was running towards us, I was using my Phoenix LD20. How many fucking flashlights did you bring? I mean, you know, like, let me... You don't need everything in the utility bill, so you take a couple things out. Only the five traveling flashlights I usually carry everywhere. Why? Right, right. You're a man made of flashlights, I assume. Look, what if it gets really dark For like Two months, suddenly, while I'm out walking

Also, what else do you put in a utility Kilt? I was using my Phoenix LD20, my EDC Light that I carry in a belt holster Yeah! Yeah! To illuminate the track ahead of my girlfriend and I, and it was completely blowing away the biker's light.

Do you think his belt is like a fanny pack, but like a flashlight fanny pack? Obviously. Listen, when I like to ride my bike around town, I always make sure that the light on the front of my bike blinds any driver that's on the road. For safety. The big news was that my girlfriend wanted to play with my TK-20 tonight. So I let her hold it for a couple laps around the track. Aw, yeah.

So I let her hold it for a couple laps around the track. Aw, yeah. She was really having a great time shining it across the track and onto several faraway trees. I said, see, flashlights are fun. She smiled. And though she didn't say anything in response to my comment, she didn't deny what I said. She's a fellow Flashaholic. She just doesn't know it yet.

Hey everybody, my name is Elam. Hey Elam! You want to know how I used my flashlight today? Yeah. Sure did. Shaved a couple of irritated calluses off my foot using the body. Sure did. Good. Shaved a couple of irritated calluses off my foot

using the body of an E2E. Oh, that's really gross. Bye. What does the E2E look like? It's pretty gross right now.

Is it serrated? Is it also a knife? Looks like a flashlight covered in a bunch of gross dead skin. Hey guys, would you like to hear about a five foot flashlight? Yeah, sure. I don't think I can handle it. I am a five foot flashlight. Okay, Achilles,

tell us about the five-foot flashlight, please. My name is Hornet, I assume. Yeah, your name is Hornet. Well, my son wanted to be a flashlight for Halloween, but then his... He totally knew it was his idea. It's what your son wanted. I mean, my son wanted it, but then his... Diddy! He totally knew it was his idea. It's what your son wanted.

My son wanted it, but then his friend changed his mind. I already had the parts, so I decided to make it anyways. To see how it turned out. I just... I just want my son to be happy.

You're a good dad. Hey dad, I was thinking of being spu... You're looking at me like you don't... Okay, I want to be the flashlight. You want to be Spuff Flashlight Man. Flash, yeah. I was hoping to have a son that was allowed to sleep in his bed tonight. Splashlight Man can sleep in his bed,

so I decided to make it anyways to see how it turns out. Well, my daughter was helping. I decided she now wants to be the flashlight. I love my daughter. So 12-inch cement tube is the body. But the plastic... 12-inch cement? What?

Lesson number one. Flashlights are immobile. My children are leputions. Is it like a tube that you use for pouring cement? Yeah. That's what it is.

Okay. Okay, but like half of the things in this Google result are tubes made of cement though. My children have plastic 12-inch cement tube as the body. My children are actually bodybuilders and are 42 years old.

Plastic. Every day I'm flashlight, I'm calming. Not with the children. Plastic tub is the head. Two sheets of poster board and aluminum foil for reflector. Spray paints. One of my lights. Remote presser switch.

First I cut arm holes and face hole in the tube and leaving about six inch of the top of the tube to her head, so she won't be hitting the light with her head. I then cut the top four inches or so off the top of the tub to reduce weight. I then drilled a one-inch hole in the middle of the tub for a light. To attach the tub to the tube, I cut five notches around the bottom of the tub. Tub, tube, tub. Tube, tub. Tube, tub, tub, tub, tube. Even without the inside of the tube I did five notches around the bottom of the tub with tub tube tub tube tub tub tub tube even without the inside of the tube

at this point my doctor was dead I then used a real good duct tape and feed it around perhaps I don't know but the flashlight looked amazing doctor in the middle somewhere I then used a real good duct tape and feed it down the slots

and then press it against the tube in the middle somewhere. I then used a real good duct tape and then feed the tube down the slots and then press it against the tube in the top. I pulled it tight and pressed it down. I have no idea what's going on anymore. After I connected through each hole, I went inside the tube through the face hole. Coming in. Knock, knock. And used the duct tape all around the tube

and tub to add more support i then connected a cabela's one inch light through the hole and i drilled to hold it in place i pushed a one inch scope ring against the tub and tightened it down as soon as i get the remote switch in I would decide what light I will use for sure I still need to need to paint it make the reflector and decide what to use a lens I might use the plastic floor under it has the porky little plastic things on the bottom and is frustrated but frosted but that because the flash light has less flooded then it's needed to fill the light I think it will look

brighter in the end oh I also I also need to pick up another drop in from the nail bender it'll be my third in the last couple weeks because she is she would like it to have an orange light. I think I can find a use for amber light latter. I will post a finished light in two weeks or two. We'll need some dry weather to get painting done before I can move on. She didn't... The painting done.

The painting done. She didn't want her photo taken, but I talked her into it. Oh, God. I'm so glad that we don't see that photo. I'm Hornet, and I live in upstate New York. Thankfully, Hornet did not update his PhotoBucket account to enable third-party hosting. Yay!

Thanks a lot, PhotoBucket. Nutshell. Yes? Would you please, please tell us about the perfect beam moment? Oh, God, please! Really want to hear. Hi, I'm Mini Moog. The perfect beam moment.

Have you ever had a perfect beam moment where you lit up and noticed the tint, shape, brightness, rendering, and overall quality of the beam you were producing was as near to perfection as you could possibly hope for for the situation you were in? If so, what was the light and what were you illuminating? My daughter was the perfect beam moment. I had one yesterday.

Nothing fancy. 2C mag light, LOP metal reflector, 2x2 6500 batteries, TL3 bulb, UCL glass, and usual mag resistance fixes. I lit up on a gloomy woodland path, and the beam was like poured white cream over the terrain. Chunky, soft, central hotspot blending to a smooth outer circle. It was as good as a light can be for that situation. Not overpowering or glaring, yet not dim and muddled. The 100 CRI was appreciated and needed.

And a bonus one from last week. Had a terrible day. Headache, traffic jam. Not very well. I lit up my HDS High CRI rotary on the second from lowest setting and used that for ten minutes while I got ready for bed. The gentle light was a true calming influence. My brain and eyes appreciated the soft fiery glow like the last embers in a campfire.

Felt better for that. So, how about you? What were your perfect beam moments? Jesus. Like crystal healing, but with fucking flashlights. Yep. So, how about you? What were your perfect beam moments? Jesus Christ. It was like crystal healing, but with fucking flashlights. Yep. I was taking a walk in the woods, and it was serene and placid, so I put a fucking flashlight and just blasted the fucking shit out of it.

And then a whole bunch of people respond with their perfect flashlight moments, and a lot of them share photos that Photo Bucket has not allowed us to see. But instead, we're going to look into this thread. Boots, what do you got there? Oh, yeah. I am Quinn Inuit, and I'm from Virginia? Sure. Not a lot of Inuit in Virginia, but I'm from Virginia. Sure. Not a lot of people in Virginia,

but I'm out there myself. My wife schools some plumbers. We were having some plumbing issues a while back and my wife stayed home to deal with the plumbers. While working, they took out a panel in our linen closet so they could check out the pipes running into the tub slash shower. As you can

imagine, it was pretty dark in there. One of them pulled out a matchbook. One of them pulled out a matchbook. My wife has a strict no igniting the linens policy and suggested they get a flashlight.

Unfortunately, they left it in the van. Flashlight, big boy. They left it in the van? Why? Oh, no. Like a ruined flashlight cuckold situation. Man, I'm sure this is as weird as this post is going to get. We probably don't need to read any further.

Okay. Oh, I'm sure this is as weird as this post is going to get. We probably don't need to read any further. Okay. Oh, I'll continue. Unfortunately, they left it in the van. At this point, my wife then got my bedside light for them. A WolfEye Sniper 6AX with a Cree drop-in module. I purchased it from Pacific Tactical a year or so ago after seeking advice from this board. You know, my bedside light. Nice.

My tactical bedside light. Hey, FedLife, I'm looking for a flashlight bowl. I also brought the gun it was attached to. Yeah, I remember unlocking that in Call of Duty. They were initially skeptical that such a small light could be of much use.

You know, over a match. But that attitude changed immediately when she turned it on. She tells me they gave it review of... That's probably not how it sounded. There you go. Before asking where they could get one. And my, uh... Oh, my, I have a very, very,

very good signature, which is Opaleck Newbie Mini Mag 2L Twin Task 4D Mag Plus Terralux Streamlight Scorpion, Incand, WolfEye 6AX, Photon Freedom Microlight, Doug Ritter Edition, Forever Flashlight, Claris XT11 The Extended Realism Mod for Rome

Total War. Come for the mod, stay for the debates. You know what the problem with Rome Total War is? Is they don't have enough tactical flashlight usage. That's true. Also, your picture is of a Bigfoot crossing. That's true. Also, your picture is of a Bigfoot crossing. Well, yeah.

And, uh, Frank West, you're a tall K's, and I say, for future reference, it's infinitely more humbling if you put together a sleeper pink Disney princess light for your loner light when one is needed as such. Blah blah blah blah.

Ho ho, how emasculating! Funny you should say that. I got my daughter the Energizer Disney Princess torch the other day, so she wouldn't play with my MD2 slash M60 anymore. Every child is like,

Oh boy, I can't wait to play with your flashlight All the time You clearly love it more than I Than you love me What does he see in this thing And thought This thing is wimpy I was

Yeah How is my daughter supposed to blind her classmates With this thing? I was considering starting off with putting the leftover 3-watt magled unit in there with two CR-123s. Fuck! Would take about 15 seconds with a file to make them fit. And just seeing how that went. Daddy, the batteries in my flashlight

exploded! Yeah, but it got better. Let me teach you how to vape now. I can't tell I don't have eyes anymore. There's a whole bunch more in this thread but we got a different thread here

Frank West, this is called the funny wife flashlight story I love a funny wife flashlight story Funny wife flashlight This is my wife flashlight Oh, there's a slash, I'm a little disappointed Funny wife flashlight story I'm King Glamis.

Flash off my liege. Oh, you've been banned. Oh, man. Oh, no. How do you get banned? You use one of those Disney princess lights? My wife is a fun person with a good sense of humor, and we watch SpongeBob with the kids sometimes.

What? I don't understand. One of Spongebob's sayings is, Mother of Pearl. Incorrect. Well, my wife... That's Mr. Krabs' line. You don't watch enough Spongebob with your kids. Well, he's got a flashlight in his eyes the entire time. Man, fuck dude, Lemon, you just told that guy. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah. Well, my wife picked up on that saying, but changed it to Holy Mother of Pearl, which she often uses in place of Holy Cow or Holy Shfuckty. At first I thought it was kind of funny, but she has been using the term so often I didn't even notice it.

She got to the point of using it in text messages. This is a funny white flashlight story, alright. Oh, don't worry, we've got several more paragraphs of humor to come. Yay! Where's the fucking flashlight? The first time she did it, I got a text that said, Holy M.O.P.

And I was confused. I sent her back a text saying, What does a mop have to do with anything? Ah! Yes, indeed. This sure is a funny anecdote. Achilles, how did you take us back to Thought Catalog? I've never left.

She clarified that she meant Holy Mother of Pearl. Oh. So that is the backstory. Okay, okay, so here we go. Here's a funny joke. I'm so hyped for this joke. Great. I am ready.

One day, my wife was asking questions about flashlights. Just keep in mind, it's not a joke, it's a story. It's like a Paula Tompkins bit. He's primed it so well. My hook is fucking baited.

Good woman. She asked me to explain the different reflector types. When I got to M.O.P., telling her it means medium orange peel, she started laughing. I didn't get it. She says M.O.P. is mother of pearl. Uh-huh, right? Oh, bear with me.

It gets better. I chuckle and say, yes, in your world, but in my world, M.O.P. is medium orange. Woo! Woo! Woo! Welcome to my world. You don't have to hold in the laughter like that, Leonard. You're going to hurt yourself by stifling it. This is worse than dental surgery. This is worse than dental surgery.

She starts to tease me and says medium orange peel is a dumb description. Agreed. I say it's no more dumb than Holy Mother of Pearl. Huh? She keeps teasing me, so I tell her. So Lemon, I'm thinking of a new direction for the podcast where instead of, you know, reading bad things on the internet and joking about them, we instead come up with misunderstandings

of flashlight terminology. I think it'll be a hit. We can get a couple hundred episodes on that, yeah, I think so. We can get several episodes from just this post. It's done, though, right? Uh, no, no, that was just the halfway.

This is the intermission. You fucking shit! Well, then, from now on, I'm going to say, Holy Medium Orange Field! Huh? Instead of holy cow. Just let the laughs out, Lemon. Yeah.

Anytime it's appropriate. She laughs and says, I won't do it because nobody will know what it means. I remind her that, duh, nobody knows what Holy Mother of Pearl means either.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Such a delightful twist! What a great joke, Frank. So I give it a few days. No! How is this possible? And wait for the right moment. God damn it!

Finally, the opportunity comes, and I proclaim loudly, Holy Medium Orange Field! Well, she lost it with laughter. I think I know how you got banned. Can you do that emoji, Frank? I mean, I think I'd break my desk. I thought she was going to die laughing. Oh, my God.

Of course our friends had no idea what was going on or what was so funny. So I paused and explained the entire story to them. And it sounded a little like this. Since then I have used a term a few more times just for fun and she always laughs hard. Oh, for fun? Yes. That's what this whole post is. My idea of fun, actually.

I think my wife finally realized how silly her holy mother of pearl saying is. I'm glad you shamed your wife, finally. That's good. By the way, neither of us knew this for a long time. Oh good, we're still going! Yeah, no! Yay!

But if you google Holy Mother of Pearl, the Urban Dictionary says it means sex, drugs, and alcohol. It does not. It does not. My heaven! I think it might have in 2009. It's hard to say. Lemon, can you please read the first response to that post?

Oh no. By Saegezi? Okay. I don't wanna do that. Do it! Read it! Then do that. Do it. Read it. Then do 300 Minwag. It's very different.

Yeah. I'll do both of them then. I'll do both of them. So, Sigizzi, who's a flashaholic, asterisk, says, King Glamis, you're killing me with humor. You and your wife have such a loving marriage, consider yourself blessed! And 300 Wind Mag says, That is freaking hilarious! Smiley face that's waving a sign that says LOL!

And it's also Goku. Monocrom says, Does she have a sister whoa whoa well wait no no no Booth found another site but we're way too late that's a new episode

that's a whole episode. Just feel free to check out sygyzy.com. It's all Ys. S-Y-G-Y-Z-Y. But anyway, we're going to close things out. There's a document up on

thefpl.us. Thank you very much, Montreff, for this very fucking confusing document. The very last thread that we're not going to be reading here is called, this is a special one that I like to call, quote, flashlight fans know a lot about women. But it's not flashlight-based, and I feel like that's a problem.

So, ooh, let's see. Jack Chick, I think I would like you to finish us up here, would you? Yeah, no worries. My name is... You're laughing. My name is Yuan Drew. Yeah, what's your thread called?

Angry at my mother! Yay! Can we get the title of the thread with the proper emoji at the beginning of it? Apologies. Angry at my mother. Thank you, better. Which is all of the F+, really. Okay, so I went looking for a fluorescent light ballast magnetic PI adapter that I had, and I couldn't find it. I ended up searching the whole house for it. Every

time I returned to the same drawer I remember seeing it and searching through it. Finally I asked my mom if she had seen the thing that looks like a light bulb with a socket on top. She asked me where I had left it. I told her that it was in the drawer next to my computer. She thought for a while and then told me she threw it away a few weeks ago when she was cleaning up my room. What's another thing? Oh, you mean where all the clumped together Kleenexes? Yeah, okay.

I threw that away. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No! No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That was a series of emoticons, listeners. Lemon, those are emoji, not emoticons. They are incorrect.

They are not emoji. They are not emoji. They are not UTF standards. They should be. I mean, there's... Yeah. I don't know why there's not an emoji for man smashing his face into a brick wall, but it's not.

That's just called 2017, so... Now I'm angry at her because she threw my things away without asking me what they were. I've been arguing about it for the last 45 minutes! And she finally told me to shut up and let her go to sleep. Oh my god,

it's 1.40 in the morning. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

I was still so angry that I threw her keys away so she wouldn't be able to get to work. Uh-huh. Great. I know. I shouldn't get back at her. I probably should dig the keys out of the dumpster, but I'm still kind of angry. This isn't the first time she did this though i've had a skateboard parts of my go-ped scooter engine some circuit boards i made and even one of my flashlights thrown away by her have any one of you ever had this happen before i'm still trying to get over this if anyone can help. And the responses are

sort of all over the place. Some of them are on Yu Andrew's side. Some of them are chastising him for not being respectful enough to his mother. Erasmus, the flashaholic, chides him for not being appropriate to his mother, except for he

confusingly starts off his post with an emoticon of a disappointed smiley face tickling a prostate. So that's weird. I think that's on you, Webber. Yeah, no, I know what that movement is. So, but you, Andrew, you just have

one little response here that I would like you to read. I'm 19 now, turning 20 this June, but I can predict that I may still be living with my parents for several more years since I don't have a job. Hopefully we'll get one by this summer.

But I won't have one for several years. Or even a girlfriend yet. It's in quotes. Well, he hasn't found the right flashlight yet. Fucking build one. I do have my driver's license,

but since my parents think having a third vehicle is too expensive to insure, I wasn't allowed to have my own vehicle. No, you're too expensive to insure. I don't know what you're talking about. I drive my mom's car, but when she isn't working and needs me to go to Costco or the supermarket for groceries or food.

Other times I walk about six miles round trip just to go to Rite the supermarket for groceries or food. Other times I walk about six miles round trip just to go to Rite Aid or Radio Shack for things like batteries or electronic parts. Yeah, I don't think you know what six miles looks like. So what did we learn from this, F Plus? This reminds me an awful lot of the vaping enthusiasts. Yeah. Very, very jargon heavy.

Yeah, and then just like the... Just dangerous electronics. Yeah. Unlike the vaping enthusiasts, not that I think they're serving a great purpose, but at least there's an outcome there that they get.

I don't... There's no... If you put literally just two hours into thinking about what flashlight to buy, you've put more effort into it than you'll ever get out. Frank, think about the last time you were in the dark. Think about it.

Yes. And then what if you weren't in the dark? I'm bioluminescent, so I don't have that problem. Well, that's right. You're an anglerfish. Oh my god. I'm a flashlight enthusiast.

Can I date you? I mean, I really... No, you wouldn't want to date her. You'd never get to use your flashlight. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I don't really ever have that problem

because I have a TN-30, and I mean, you know. It's like they're just like the most boring preppers. Like, ordinary preppers are like, you know, in case of emergency, I've got 20 guns stashed around the house and, like, all this food, and these guys are just like, what if it's dark and I don't want to walk to the other room? I was going to say, I just watched 10 Cloverfield Lane,

and these guys are all that guy, so. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, because these guys are all all that guy. Yeah. You know? They're all John Goodman. All John Goodman, yes they are. So yeah, I mean, I've never owned a nice flashlight, and I can see, I can see, I'm going to be fair,

I can see wanting a flashlight that has probably like two settings. Like bright, and, less bright. I get that. Maybe, like, a diffuse would be kind of nice. Like, if you had one that kind of, like, cast a wide beam. Lemon, they're sucking you in. You've got to stop this.

I was gifted a pretty decent flashlight, like, a while ago. And it's got a magnet on it. So it's stuck to my exercise bike. And I know And it's got a magnet on it. So it's stuck to my exercise bike. And I know where it is in case I need it. But also I carry a phone around with me that has a screen that lights up. And if it's ever really that dark, I just use that for a little bit.

That's a good point. I've got the flashlight thing and it works the flash on the back of my phone. That's fine. That's never been insufficient. Ever. It's always helped me find shit under the couch. It's always helped me put the key in the lock.

Hey, but Lemon. What? You could have something hanging from your belt all the time also. Yeah, but most of these posts are like, these are all the everyday Carrie people who are like, they always have a knife and they always have a flashlight. But the thing is, they're the exact sort of people most of the time who don't need that shit. I mean, I mean, the thing that kills me, right, is like, how many fucking people are there that post about this shit?

Like, if you had said... I will answer that. 294 000 if you told me hey dude there's you know a flashlight forum and there's you know a couple thousand people on that i'm like yeah okay like that makes sense but fucking 300 000 fucking people in the world like still hey flashlight enthusiast can i give you some unsolicited advice just start jerking off to it if you're going to spend this much time on it just go for it

not everything is about sex Frank or at least find like a really reliable custom firmware to install on it well Frank what do you think I'm doing in the bathroom at night with no lights the website is if you want to go to the bathroom,

you should come to Bob's. Oh, bitch. Hey, Frank, I just saw that. That's a weird one. That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. It'll only take you four seconds to load. The website is always Tfbl.us,

and we have a whole new shipment of merch. If you go to vfplus.com slash merch, you can get everything that we have in stock, including buttons that will improve your self-confidence by encouraging you to buy a more expensive dildo. Slightly more expensive dildo. buy a more expensive dildo. Slightly more expensive dildo. A slightly more expensive dildo.

Stickers that have not been finalized and maybe mouse pads but they probably sold out by now. Okay, bye-bye. How does it look underneath my flashlight? Yeah. Lights, mm, mm, flashing lights, lights, mm, mm, flashing lights, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm,