The F Plus - 278: It's Trichy!

Episode Date: April 3, 2018

You might expect that the people over at KinkyForums are dilettantes with their sexual proclivities, but that would be a mistake. They have found what is, for them, the one perfect fetish: hair. They may disagree on hair length, hair texture, and the most desirable haircuts, but they really like hair. And, as you're about to learn, their love of hair comes at a disservice to you, personally. This week, The F Plus actually was commenting on your beautiful bobs.

Is there like an ownership thing to this too? Cause that's weird. Unlike the rest of it. Thanks. Appreciate that. It's real great. Hello? I gotta go.

The last one is a toupee, right? It's just a fucking toupee that she photoshopped on there. Skrillex! That's the middle one. Well, it just looks like a... It looks like Merlin's beard. Oh! I didn't see you there. This is the F Plus Podcast, a mysterious place, I just don't belong just for boots. Okay. Frank West? Ah, my ex was a metalhead and had waist-thin reddish-gold hair, which was absolutely

beautiful. Unfortunately, that was the only redeeming thing about her. Kumquats up! Kundam Bunjob. Imagine the lubrication from Kundam, making her long hairs look even more shiny and oily hairs. Mmmmm. Achilles Heeles.

My wish for all these Rapunzels is that they find a man to worship and help with it. And Lemon. This was the key to getting my magic back. The more cum I could get into my hair, the more powerful I would become. Samson, I think you just read something. And that's why I am the Queez-Out Sutter-Up. We've been living life to be a strong man's tribe. Hey, F-Plus. Hey, Lemon.

Hello. Hey, participants of this podcast, I would like you to explain to me what you think is sexy. Me. Nothing is sexy. Ketchup. Nothing is. Wow. Me.

Ketchup. What about, what about bunny bread covered in ketchup? Yes. How did you know my name is Ketchup? Be right back. What about, what about

a bust sculpture of bunny bread made out of ketchup? Like a, like a, like a butter princess, but ketchup. Lemon, I let you into my If you all hit the mark at the same time, this will be a real short recording. I let you into my closet in confidence, Lemon. That's quite a shrine you have.

Yeah, so this podcast has covered, and I don't know if this is news to you or not, but this podcast has covered a couple of fetishes. Yeah. One or two. We've done missionary and doggy style. Yeah, exactly. All of which we have, by the way. I don't know if that's been clear to our listeners.

We have all of these fetishes. No, yeah. In order to populate our own material, we invent fake forums. We don't look things up, people. We write things. We're creative. Yeah, so in the past, we have covered, for example, a fucking watch fetish and a glove fetish, which is like a watch fetish, but with gloves. Wow. I'm going to put in front of us today is a document on trictophilia,

a.k.a. a fucking hair fetish? A.k.a. a fucking hair fetish. In what sense of the term do you mean fucking? Well, I mean that in many senses. Other titles provided to the document provider of Morgan, by the way,

thank you, Morgan. Some other titles provided here are Hairs Looking at You, Kid, The Banality of Evil, Locks and Loaded, I Just Dropped in to See What Condition My Cumdition Was In. I like it when the puns get worse over time.

That is kind of the arc of this podcast. Yeah, for sure. So we're going to be going to two different sites. One of those sites is kinkyforums.com. Makes sense. And the other one is called Long Hair Fetish. So let's start off here on the kinky forums. And this is called A Dream Come True.

So my name is Hip Length Hair Lover. So? Yeah. Yeah. And on March 8th of 2018, I posted this. If, like me, you have dreams about coming over a woman's long hair, period, what if you could choose what would be your perfect length and hairstyle be? Bra length, mid-length, hip length of longer?

Braid, ponytail, bun, messy bun, or just loose? Yeah. Slutty hair. And, Bunnybread, your name is Hairy Pubes. You're damn right it is. Wow. I mean, congratulations on, you know, nailing down that screen name early on. All right.

So I have two versions, okay? Hey, this is Hairy Pubes. Yeah, hi. I'm going to take long before jerking off and replying. One is straight floor length. Think Leona or Anya, whoever the fuck those are. The other is huge black afro, tight wiry curls.

That one takes me back to an actual experience in the Summer of Love 1967 and is a treasured memory. I'm 23 years old. Really? Well, wait. No, you're right. That math checks out. Okay. Yep, yep, yep. Jerking, jerking. Shush. Hi, I'm Saul. Hey, Saul. yep, yep. Jerking, jerking. Shush. Uh, hi, hi, I'm Saul. Um, mine would

be Caucasian woman, chestnut or chocolate brown hair, knee length or longer, straight with a slight wave in the last foot of its whole length, medium thickness. Ooh, medium. So as he watches women walk by, he has

a clipboard out and scores them diligently. I just hold up my iPad and film all of them. Uh, I want a series of sessions with washing, drying, brushing, and hair serum treatment in between. One, loose hair

gradually coiled around and rubbed against my cock. Uh, sticking and rub- Oh, two, sticking and rubbing cock inside a plain bun. Like, right. Sticking and rubbing... Oh, two. Sticking and rubbing cock inside a plain bun. Like, not even a cinnamon bun? No butter. Yeah, no butter.

Three-strand braid tied off, leaving a foot loose at the end. Stroke cock with loose part as a tassel. Tied a part of the braid near the woman's nape real tight to the base of the cock. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

I think I need a diagram now. Wrap, rest of braid. This is Bayonetta at this point, right? Oh, God. These guys fucking love Bayonetta. Oh, my God. Wrap, rest of braid around cock while rubbing. Unwrap. How did Lemon beat me to the Bayonetta joke?

I'm kind of surprised, yeah. What the fuck? Do you want to redo this? Should we just hit stop and start over? AF plus Bayonetta. No! I do more stuff with my... Okay.

Unwrap it. You have more. You have really Okay. Unwrap and gradually... You have more. You have really something. Yeah. Your next point is really important. This is a process. Yeah. Unwrap and gradually unbraid until nearly undone.

Completely undo braid just before coming. Very elaborate. Oh, okay. It's just like, you know, when you stick your thumb over the end of like the hose. I think it's like that. No, whenever I'm coming all over my garden. That's how your petunias are so beautiful. Damn right.

And fulfilled. They have a sort of glow to them. Yeah. You'll see in three months. of glow to them. Yeah. You'll see in three months. Four. Three-strand braid tied off, leaving a footloose at the end.

Everybody jerk, everybody jerk. Uh-oh. Tie braid around base of cock. Wrap rest of braid around cock. Insert hair-wrapped cock into a woman's vagina. Uh. around cock. Insert hair-wrapped cock into a woman's vagina.

Cut vagina or hair as needed. This hair and vagina homunculus come into hair-filled vagina. Do you regret swiping right on me now? And he forgot number five, promptly die. Come into hair-filled vagina. Oh, no.

Okay, okay, baby. Just stick with me. Just stick with me. Just stick with me. It's going to be a little weird. You said you were ready to go. You were game. Yeah, it's like a turducken.

It's a lot of steps. Oh, geez. I forgot my condoms, but I know something we can try. What do you got there, Frank West? What do I have there? Do I have something? Oh, wow. I didn't see.

There was a whole thing and everything. Oh, my best cartoon slash comic strip hair is anyone else drawn, no pun intended, to artistic depictions of hair in popular media like animated cartoons and comic strips. Oh, like those ones. cartoons and comic strips. Uh-oh. Oh, like those ones. As a child, I first became aware of my special attraction, later defined

as a fetish, to hair, with the daily newspaper strip, The Heart of Juliet Jones. Especially the younger blonde sister, Eve. I'm just gonna assume that's a British comic strip. I was just gonna assume he was like a million years old,

but that makes more sense. That's what I was going with. This guy's writing for Beyond the Grave. And he's a Hoosier. I don't think he's British. Oh, yeah, good point. It could be Mike Pence, though. Yeah, it's women's hair he's after. You bet. I heard Mike Pence's wife doesn't even let him go to a barber shop alone

it's a form of infidelity letting another woman touch my hair well he definitely he goes to a horse barber anyway so we do manes and, that's it. Why are you here? I just want to watch. Even now, I sheepishly admit a special awareness of Terry and Sherry McElberry on The Simpsons. Hey, they're eight. They even have fan websites.

Oh, so it's okay then. It's fine. It's fine. It's legally binding. It's cool. Before that... The Simpsons started in the 90s. They're like 100 by now. It's cool.

Before that, I even enjoyed the flip on the end of Lucy's black hair in the Peanuts comic strip and cartoon specials. Anyone else? Nope. No, actually, no.

Nope. Well, that was a good podcast. That was it. You found the line. Congrats. Wow. Actually, there is one response from John W. And John W. says, John W. says, Jessica Rabbit! actually there is one response from john w and john w says john w says jessica rabbit

i was gonna say that regardless of the thread that's the bot a lot of threads that's the bot he wrote that puts that in every thread yeah yeah how is this gonna help trump get What the fuck? I do have one thing to add in a future post. I forgot to add Leela from Futurama. Oh, she's a grown-up. Come close up. What do you got there? Yes, hello. My name is Shy Tosk.

Shy Tosk? Shy to ask. Shy to ask. Shit. Ask. Does anyone else also like women with long hair? Oh my god. Down here.

I often fantasize about women that I am attracted to having very long pussy hair long enough for it to be put in a ponytail slash braid. In my fantasy,

I shampoo the hair, dry it, comb it, play with it, put it in a pony slash braid, lightly tug at it while I finger slash eat her, etc. And when I'm ready to come, I spray my load all over it! In my fantasies, the lady is initially very self-conscious of her condition.

Yeah, I would assume. And reluctant to reveal herself to me. But when she does, and she then knows how turned on I am by it, she gets turned on herself, she then knows how turned on I am by it. She gets turned on herself, loses all her inhibitions, and is in fact happy that somebody actually loves what she considers ugly slash unusual. Right.

A vagina? Cool, except, well, I mean, allegedly there's a vagina somewhere underneath there, but... I mean, on this forum, the vagina's not the fucking point, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't wanna, like... I know we're not even talking about this.

Well, hang on, we're gonna get to that in just a second. The fact I am so into her long pussy hair makes her able to really let go and enjoy herself while I am enjoying her and her long pussy hair. This is kind of what I mean, a hilarious fucking ridiculous image that I can't unsee.

Yeah, it's... Oh, so it's... This is the funniest image I've ever seen! So on THEFPL.us I'm going to have some sort of... try to find some sort of discreet way... Why are the breasts censored? This image is pornography in a very strange way.

Because they would turn you off, Frank. Nipples don't have hair. What you have here is you have like five sort of like, it's actually four plus one of the same Calvin Klein model. And they have pubic wigs that I would describe as, in order, Conan O'Brien, Brooke Shields. That's not Brooke Shields. No? Okay. Well, the third one. It's too blonde to be Brooke Shields I don't know what the No okay well the third one It's a lot to be Brooke Shields The third one's like maybe like

Randy Savage's mullet Okay yeah Okay Then there's a very long braided Pubic wig that goes down to the feet And then finally Trump at the end But fortunately, the breath, the nipples are

censored. So it is safer work. That's the funniest fucking image I've ever seen. Jesus. Anyway, close it up, please. Yeah, you have to somehow scroll past the image. I have never, never seen such discussions,

even in other forums that I occasionally frequent. I hope this does not come across as being weird. Yeah, on this forum, maybe not so much. My name's Anon. You are not alone. No. I can't stand the sight of a shaved or even aggressively trimmed muff. I don't really need Rapunzel pubes, but I need a healthy thatch.

I don't remember the fairy tale going that way. Oh, yeah. You probably went to public school. Oh, you got the censored version. That's embarrassing. Hums over Hums over. Please keep your... So you were raised with a cult, buddy Brad?

Good Catholic upbringing. I don't... Yeah. Well, we don't have school around here, but, you know. Oh, okay. We have a lot of back issues at Penthouse.

Whatever. Nothing turns me on more than seeing a woman with beautiful, long, thick hair, at least past her waist, and girl fur, so thick, that's a long, thick hair, at least past her waist, and girl fur,

so thick, that's a word, one word, girl fur, so thick you can't see through it. Being with a girl who had that once was one of my all-time favorite experiences. Woo! was one of my all-time favorite experiences. Hmm.

Woo! And Frank West Mott has some advice on hair fetish-related sex tourism, if you'll take that, please. My name is Mott, a Haven 4. I just returned from a business trip, which has proven to be one of my most memorable experiences from a hair lover's perspective. It was a place I have already been to three times previously, all also for work. But for the first time, I decided to stay over for the weekend and explore the city, mainly to absorb the culture, food, and sights.

The added bonus that I got was totally unexpected, and hence so much more of a thrill while it was happening, and eternally captured in my memory bank now that I am back. Quite a leader. While there were a lot of women sporting

long hair, it was not for this that it was memorable. It stood out for the sheer volume of women with unbelievable bobs. Okay. I mean, it's a pretty easy hairstyle to have.

That's the first time that hasn't been just a misspelling of boobs on the show. What unbelievable bobs! The long hair I saw, most of it was unhealthy at the ends and straggly, but almost every single bob, and there were lots of them,

was just immaculate. So full of volume, soft-looking, thick, perfectly quaffed, it was mesmerizing. I spent the whole of Saturday and Sunday walking around, and I swear, I would not pass three or four women without

coming across one with a bob that deserved a second, and a third, and a fourth, and more glass. I have ventured to the land of Betty Boop. I kid you not, it was truly Bob Heaven.

Is this just Lilith Fair? Given how many lovely Bobs there were and the fact many also have long hair, but as mentioned earlier, not as comworthy. I am inclined to think

these particular people don't have it in their genes to have truly long and voluminous hair. Given the ratio of amazing bobs, the long hair was truly disappointing. Is there like a Scoville scale of

comworthiness of hair? It's as if this particular people were not able to grow desirable hair beyond a certain length, but boy did the bobs on display make up for that. They just

were right out there, just right out in the open, in a public place with their bobs! Just blowing in the breeze! Men leering at their bobs! I cannot emphasize what a bob treat it was. Everywhere I went, superb quality bobs. From the overall look, the cut down to the color, many enhanced with highlights.

Truly a feast for someone with a passion for hair. While I generally like long, it has to be healthy, thick to the end, straight and soft. And this is why I genuinely believe, even if a woman is not able to sport long hair,

she can still have very sexy and desirable hair, even with bob length, in my opinion, at least. And this notion was proven so strongly this past weekend. I cannot put into words how great it was. But you sure are trying. Oh, I just checked. Actually, I have, in fact, been putting it into my list. I made my mistake. The whole time I was walking

around, I was sporting a hard-on in my pants and had such a strong urge to reach out and feel the softness of each bob I found attractive. You can't just go and touch ladies' bobs, man. I didn't, though. I wanted to at least take pics, but even for that, didn't have the guts to take the risk.

The place I was in? Seoul. Yeah. I would highly recommend a visit to those who are able to, and especially to those that are Bob fans. Believe me, you will not be disappointed. I have traveled fairly extensively. Asia, Europe, North America, and for me, after this trip, Seoul is the Bob capital of the world.

Five out of five stars on TripAdvisor.com. Thank you. They got Bob Costas. They got Bob Seoul. They got Bob Hope. They got all the fucking Bobs. So, Glenn, how was your trip to Korea? Oh, it was amazing.

People had the same haircut. I came like 50 times. That's not what I asked. Okay. Didn't we fire you? Yeah, no, I never worked here. Why do you keep showing up? Have you seen the secretary's hair?

Well, she's fired now, too. This building's really high on my Bob index. Bunny Brady, you got HB? HB. Yeah. Hot Bob. Yeah. God damn it, I want to say Hot Bob.

God damn it, son of a bitch. All right, my name is Holy Bobs. I love a good bob. If it's a sexy cut and color, it's so much fun to play with and mess up. Some here only are attracted to very long hair and scoff, scoff, I say, at any mention of hair that is not classic length, regardless if it's healthy or not. Don't take me wrong, though. If a woman has long, gorgeous, healthy hair, I all in.

But a shorter cut that looks great is just as welcoming and sexy. And if you've ever come, I'm sure none of us have ever experienced orgasm. We've never touched our own dicks like I have. On a sexy silky blonde bob. Oh, I think we've been heard from before. He'll sexy silky blonde bob and then style

her hair with your cum. I will be in heaven. Oh, I'm heavenly bob. That's it. Heavenly bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hello. I'm Vino. Oh, hi'm Heavenly Bob. That's it. Right. Heavenly Bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hello. I'm Vino. Oh, hi, Vino.

Thanks, Amanu, for recapturing your experience. Thumbs up. I would take shorter, healthy, clean hair over long and healthy hair any day. You started Italian, I think. You started some kind of white. I started somewhere. I enjoyed the You started some kind of white. I started somewhere. I enjoyed the trip all over China in 2013. It was also very hair-memorable.

Just love the people and culture. Japan and Taiwan are on my list. Now, thanks to you, so is Seoul. Heart. Very hair memorable. Manu has a bunch to say in this thread, but I like this. Couldn't agree more, Vino. Quality over length every time for me, too.

If it comes together, jackpot. I go to Shanghai quite regularly, two months or so, and it is indeed quite nice for hair, too. Better quality long hair, for sure. You should definitely add soul to your list. And such a rich culture. Interesting history and lovely sights. The food is really good, too. I love their barbecue.

And the people are so friendly. I want to think that he was banned for that post. What are you talking about? This is bullshit. Green barbecue? Who gives a fuck? BBQ stands for best Bob quality. Yeah, obviously.

Banging Bobs quietly. Damn, you always bang a Bob. They don't even notice. Or they're too polite to even look. Big, beautiful quaffs. Alright, so Bunny Bread. Yeah, down in page 8 there of the doc

is a thread started by Ambassador Hare. Ambassador Hare had something to post on December 25th of 2017. Alright. What is that?

The time has come! Oh no, I can't listen to that for this one. Oh, this is the problem for you, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. We found the lie. Yes, yes. Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not the quality guy.

Standards, sir. Standards. Yeah. Lower the tone. Well, then, I don't have many other. All right. Hey. How y'all doing?

Good. Doing good. Good. Thanks. Thanks. All right, then. Okay. Anyways. other... All right. Hey! How y'all doing? Good. Doing good. Good. Thanks. Thanks. All right, then. Okay. Anyways.

You want to talk about some hair fucking or what? I mean, always. Yeah. I said, or what? All right. The time has come there, gentlemen. Hello, everyone. This is your boy, Ambassador Hair.

First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all. All right? You just want to get that out of the way because Lord Jesus, you know. I have been a part of this forum in the shadows for some time now. It is time for me to post something. Okay? Okay. So get ready.

I do this only as a way to improve the forum, not to point out any negative or real feelings or nothing. Okay? All right? We got that out of the way? Everybody? Okay. This feels like a controversial post. Shh.

You stop now. This took a lot of bravery from me. I understood that this forum and others of this kind are fed by the posts of a lot of anonymous people, right? What? Anonymous people on the internet? No. I know.

I know. You're going to want to sit down for this as one of those peoples I share in the feelings that the most have when it comes to making their approach to the long hair known with that said I would like to propose an effort to create

a committee of sorts right oh okay is this like the model UN of hair you're god damn right it is. One that would, through many efforts, can still remain anonymous, but be able to gain access to the quality women with the long hair. Like in shipping containers? I don't understand. Yes, the women are in the shipping containers.

The hair comes separate. A group that would follow. We send woman first. We send women first. We send hair last. That's what we're going for. Okay, okay. Somebody got it. A group that would follow some basic guidelines in searching the internets, right?

Along with the cities and towns and countries for the best long hair out there. We would encourage these women to post with slash for us without the need to secretly steal their photos. Yeah? Through these efforts, we can gain strength in numbers and build relationships with these women for many long-haired years to come. Solidarity!

How did you type this many words about this subject and not use the word blockchain at any point? Oh my God, the shadow hair government. Oh, I'm so tempted. You didn't read ahead to the next paragraph, did you? In an age of countless women on social media platforms posting hair images,

there would be no women. That's true, I've noticed that about women on social media platforms. They're frequently posting pictures where their hair is in the shot. Wow. I don't get it. I don't get it either,

but I'm thankful. All right. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all. There should be no reason why if approached in a civil and mature non-fetish way,

I'm incapable of it, but I was hoping somebody could be, that we can't get them to agree to this, right? Personally, I think over the years, we have members of this forum and others like it have helped ourselves to these images, and it's

starting to catch up with us fellas, okay? You know what I mean here? It's time. It is long past time we start acting a little bit more professional and making known that we are not what the public makes us out to be. Can I get an amen and also jerk it?

I don't think so. I don't know what. Wait a minute. So the plan is to go to these women whose hair you've been jacking off to secretly and say we now to plan to publicly jack off to your hair. God damn right. Okay, everybody in agreement.

Say jerk yeah. In a super not fetishy way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yep, okay. So, I request, if you would like to discuss this more, please email me at wholechrist. Again, you can remain anonymous.

I don't need your real name. All I request is your passion to explore a new project and all things hair. Emphasis on long fucking hair. Thank you for your time. This has been Ambassador Hair. Last one to jerk off, or last one to come has to eat the wig. Shit, I messed it up.

The representative from Hair has seated the floor. Oh, what? The conference room's empty. What's going on? Oh, so it's me? I gotta eat the wig? Shit. Oh, wow. He's a political dynamo. Yo, welcomes.

Come quets up. What do you got there? My name is... Mmm, hair fucker. Mmm. Could be Marshall Mathers' hair fucker mmm could be Marshall Mathers hair fucker I mean he doesn't have much but uh hair bun makes your cock stiffen

when you have a look that's the title of my post I don't know that it does, though. It doesn't, actually, though. It doesn't... Oh, you didn't hear me. Hair bun makes your cock stiffen when you have a look.

Nope. Incorrect. I love to fuck her hair. And flow all come on her hair. All of it. Now that's a post right there uh i waste hair lover love to come all over marion's bun and gently massage it in i'm brosher beautiful bun of silky hair a little tight but it would still be heaven to push my hard cock into it

until I came all over it. It's harder to push into a bun than you think it is. Actually, it starts to hurt for me. Heretic! And worse still is if a hair gets caught

all over across your penis mouth slit. Penis mouth slit. Joe Rouillier, I think you're a doctor, aren't you? You've got to be a urologist, right? It can hurt. Penis mouth slit. Penis mouth slit. My PMS hurts today.

Baby, will you touch my penis My penis alternates as a trumpet Oh my god I figured out what my Vegas show is gonna be You're right. This is why I like to loosen the bun a bit. Maybe even open a little hole in the bun so I can stick my cock all the way in. Depending on how big the bun is, that might mean my cock goes all the way through, or I'm up to my balls in the air, which is great. Obviously. Obviously. But yes, you have to be careful in there, which is great. Obviously.

Obviously. But yes, you have to be careful sticking it in the first time. Her hair bites. Well, you're going to pop her bun cherry. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, my God. I was going to wait till marriage.

Well, this is obviously coming from a place. And then she might have a bun in the oven. In the oven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad that you knew how much volume that joke needed. We wouldn't want to just sail that under a little bit suddenly. The last bun I fucked was a top of the head bun,

and my cock went all the way through. She said my hard cock made a great hair accessory. And then I kissed her bot. Alright, I'm going to get away from this thread because it's kind of gross. I want to get to a nice

post on kinkyforums.com. By the way, I just realized this. We're on kinkyforums.com which is the long hair forum. It's not like we're in the long hair subgroup of kinkyforums. It's like, oh, you're into kinky

stuff? Well, then you obviously are into sticking your dick into hair. Wow, they really got in there, like, immediately. No one else had taken kinky form. Well, somebody bought a domain, and then he was like, eventually I'll have a kink. I'll just figure it out when the time comes. Come quest up.

What do you got there? Oh, yes, hello. My name is Mr. M. Fans of hair eating? Hello? Fans of hair eating? Yeah, what? Of course. I'm just trying to process... You said hair eating, right?

Like putting it in your mouth and... Fans of. Fans of hair eating. Yeah, I never do it myself. Hi, guys! Any fan of hair eating. Yeah, I never do it myself. Hi, guys! Hey! Any fan of hair in mouth slash hair eating in the forum? Oh, I'm sure probably not.

Eating beautiful long hair is my biggest dream! For instance! If only hair existed. Hey, you asked me for an example, didn't you? Nope. Yeah. For instance, Oh, okay.

I would like to swallow all the hair of Nicole Scherzinger. This has just been one guy the whole time replying to himself. Or, Or, Never mind. Theory shot. Tell her to put her hair into my plate so I can blend her hair with the ingredients of my dish. Pasta carbonara with all the hair of Nicole.

So delicious. No. No. Does anyone know? You haven't tried it? Shut up, man need you need a thicker noodle if you're making carbonara it's gotta soak up the egg does anyone have ever tried that eating italian hell no christ that's sick

uh bunny bread uh hair lover has Bunny Bread, Hair Lover has. Hi! I mean, you know what? God damn it, let me... Oh, hi, Hair Lover! Hi! Hey, I'm in! Ooh, dear. Oh.

Hey, what's your waveform look like right now? Ah! Lightning! I did it! It's better than a hair job. Damn right. Impossible. Impossible, sir.

I have the form. I am holding the head, the severed head with the wig. It's better than a hair job. This your boy, Hair Lover 472. I did it with so nice her she puts a lot of foods on her hair and let me eat the foods

girl scout cookies Jesus she puts a lot of foods on her hair and let me eat the foods in fact it's best than hair job so many exclamation points it's the only word i know how to spell correctly you know what i'm so this is better than a hair job it sounds really good yeah the hair job actually cut off the circulation. I had to circle. Oh, shit.

Never mind. I wanted the thing that killed you faster. Oh, damn it. Me too. I'm an abomination. Fuck. Maybe next time. Till then, it's Hair Lover.

Signing out. Okay. Hey, my name's Yolo Yolo My name's Yolo Da Hobo Da Yolo Da Hobo Da Hey, uh

How do you initiate sexy hair stuff? Craig's list. I have to pull the big red lever and then... You guys are laughing. I'm trying to get advice here. Okay. All right. All right.

Yeah. I pull out my dick. Thank you. Okay. Okay. And then I say, hey, would you like to wrap your hair around this? And then they say, you're under arrest, sir. Oh, that sounds good. Okay, so.

The Hispanic girl I mentioned not too long ago. Ellipsis. I sat next to her in class today. Hot. Her hair was all over my legs. It was so fucking hot. Were you sitting on her? Her hair was all over my legs.

Okay. Just all over. Couldn't, there was no part of my legs that her hair wasn't over. I sat next to her. She's a scat squ her hair wasn't over. I sat next to her. She's a scat squatch, by the way. I sat next to her in class. She's a Nordic god. Especially on the inside of my thighs.

Holy fuck. It was just dangling there. Right, right. Sorry. I was just getting a little lost in my own mind there. It's okay, we all came too. right right sigh sorry I was just getting a little lost in my own mind it's okay we all came too okay what I want to know is

if you guys have any advice as to how I might initiate anything with her you already came all over her didn't you now that I know of... She already sat on you, apparently. Yeah, she sat all around me. It was all over my legs.

Her hair was in my thighs. Now that I know how good her... I feel how fucking good her hair feels on me. I feel fucking good. Her hair feels on me. I want more. And then,

Achilles, your name is Samual? Samual? Okay. Say whatever you want to say, but if I was in your shoes, I'd find any excuse just to talk to her, like, hey, I have no idea what the

professor was talking about yesterday. Did you get anything out of all that? Just interact with her. So, so jealous of you, man. I hope this situation turns out great for you. Uh, what length is her hair? Like, butt length? Uh, thigh length range? Uh,

uh, uh, oh, oh, uh, sorry, Bunnybread, uh, Bunny Bread, NM NM Yeah, but you have to reply first, stupid Oh, oh yeah, sorry, yeah, before Yeah, okay, so, yeah About butt length Squirt

Hot as hell There it is, alright Anyways, my name is New Mexico And I'm here to say one thing and one thing only. What's that? Dude! What? Dude!

She knows what she's doing, man. A girl is not going to let her hair repeatedly touch a guy she's not into, you know? Talk to her. Talk to her, man. Work up to asking her out. Work off to ask her out. Compliment her on her hair. She obviously wants you to know this. That's right.

Damn right. That's exciting to hear, but are you sure she's doing it intentionally? Yes! I feel like she's just reclining. Then, once she does... Oh, now I actually can picture this. Once she does, I make sure I get myself in the line of fire, quote unquote. This makes a lot more sense.

Here's what I mean. You're wanting to know what I mean. What I mean is that I feel like I'm doing the work to make the hair touching happen. But I suppose she could be aware of it. She's aware of it. I suppose she could be aware of it. She's aware of it, my dude. I suppose she's aware of her own body. My dude, she's never been more aware of something in her whole life.

And then I start asking questions to girls on the phone. All the girls on here, stand up, you are legion. The thread ends blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just an MRA shows up at the end and says, The real danger here is that the U.S. college sexual environment is dangerously hostile to guys these days.

No sex has happened on college campuses for years now. And he continues, many university sexual misconduct policies include unwanted leering and unwanted brushing against the body. Jesus. Fuck. Yeah, so i couldn't picture

i couldn't picture it and then i could yes like she's got long hair yeah thanks for that forum uh frank what do you what do you have well speaking of girls on the forum uh here's the thread i'm not gonna say the poster's name of this post

because i think it might be her real name. Uh-oh. Well, she was, um, people were talking about looking her up on FetLife and she found the forum. Oh! Oh! Yeah, they were like, hey, look this girl up on FetLife. And so she shows up and she says, Thank you, in quotes, for pointing me out.

Because of the topic, my mailbox has basically stormed recently. I'd like to answer all the unique questions I've been asked. Okay. No, I'm not interested in becoming your friend solely because you like my hair. No. Yay! That should be it, right? No, I do not have any fetish related to hair,

and I do not perceive them as a sexual object. I simply love having them that long, and so does my sister. Oh, good. Yeah, your sister's not fucked now. Please don't use the word sister. Don't bring that in. I'm not interested in having professional photo shoot slash session provided.

I already do own a collection of my own photos that I'm fully satisfied with and don't intend to share them with the public. I'm not interested in money offers. I have a high-end standard of living already, and if you feel like you want to spend some money, donate it to charity instead. Thanks! My name. Yeah! I like you, person. I will not share name of.

Well, we went straight from the worst user on the forum to the best, so... Alright, Pendulum. Let's see where the Pendulum goes now! Okay. Oh, this is another... Okay, so Achilles, this is another post by YOLO...

Fucking... God damn it. YOLO... Da hobo, da hobo... YOLO da hobo da. Y Yolo da hobo da hobo. Yolo da hobo da. Yolo da hobo da. And what do you want to talk about there? Hi, I'm Yolo da hobo da.

I was sitting next to this tiny, cute Hispanic girl in class yesterday. Oh, it's the prequel. Oh, she's back. Wow. Her hair looks essentially like this. Stock photography. Woman dash thinking dash with dash laptop

dot jpeg. So, yeah. Although the woman in... She can IM. Although the woman in that photo looks absolutely nothing like her. She looks pretty much like this, except for everything. But the hair, though.

Oh, of course, of course, of course. We're not here for a woman's anything, except for, yeah. I don't even really see the rest of it, but in this. You just see blonde brunette redhead? I just see the hair in the place where the words come out of. On my thighs. In this one particular class,

everything is pretty compact, so the chairs are really close together, meaning that sitting next to me means she was mere inches away from me. Oh, my God. In case you don't know what words mean. Now I'm keen enough to position myself so that her hair

ends up teasing me in one way or another. This happens fairly often. I'll sit with my legs close to her hair and the ends of her hair will... Go to Juvie! Go to Juvie! Go to Juvie!

Oh, we're already there. And they'll lightly tickle my legs. Sometimes her hair will be close enough to gently run my hands through. It's pretty hot, but it's not that intense. No. At least compared to what happened yesterday.

I was sitting with my legs facing her. She rotated herself to be able to put her head down. And as she did, about half of her hair, which is a lot of hair, just straight up fell onto my legs. I almost fucking moaned out loud. Almost. She would occasionally swish it around, and my gosh, that was one of the hottest sensations I've literally ever experienced. Eventually she sat up, lifting her hair off of me.

But honestly, I didn't mind. Oh, outstanding. I had more than my fair share of hair teasing. Oh, I see what you did there. And then... Oh, you're going to cut off the last sentence. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, sorry. Yes, you're going to cut off the last sentence, huh? Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Yes, I have something to say here. Yes, needless to say, when I got home, I took care of myself. I shot myself in the face. See, it's good to see young people taking care of themselves. Self-care is important. Yeah, so, like, made, like, a nice little pasta primavera. Yeah. Or what did you go for?

With some hair in it? Yeah. Hey! Totally awesome! Yeah. My name's Snark Nation! What's up? Totally awesome!

I'd say it's time to make your move! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! Hey, you guys want a quote? Uh, no. Yeah. Hey, you guys want a quote? No. Yeah. Yeah. As Michael Jordan said.

Whoa. Michael Jordan said you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. That's what Michael Jordan said. Stephen Hawking said that. Good luck, man. You miss 100% of the cum shots you don't take. And there's sort of, it's a little long, but there's an interesting sort of moral turn that happens here.

So a bunch of people on the forums are like, hey, why don't you surreptitiously take photos of this woman and share them with us because that would be good for us. And you have a response, Achilles. I do weird shit related to my turn-ons. Everyone. Okay, well, that makes you unique.

Everyone does. Everyone does. I mean, I guess. I guess you're right. I mean, weird is a general term. We've all eaten a plate of hair. Yeah, no. Okay, your first statement maybe.

No, come on. It's carbonara now. Hang on. Everyone does, but everyone also has boundaries. This is one of mine, and you're asking me to cross a line I'm not willing to cross? Let me clarify one thing. This rant is not directed at you so much as it is directed

at everyone who participates in what I consider to be a very toxic element of this community. You just now found a toxic element of this community. The part of this community that shares pictures of hair? You mean every single goddamn person who posts here?

Yeah, it's happened. We haven't read every time that it's happened, but it's basically happened in every thread. Look, I just force a girl's hair on my legs. I don't take pictures of her. Yeah, you know, I mean, for your guy's usage and for my own, of course. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would have asked the same question you did if you hadn't asked it first.

So I wouldn't take it personally. This is something that's been on my mind a lot. And it just so happens you're the person who gave me a good outlet to express my thoughts slash feelings. YOLO. YOLO. YOLO. There's two things that I like about that statement. The first is that he's like,

hey man, that's like creepy and assault and not great. And everyone else's response just blows right past it and they're like, oh yeah. Shut the fuck up. Dick out. Waiting. And the other thing is that I cut that down because most of the rest of the post was like, Well, yeah, obviously I'll take pictures of her for myself to jerk off to.

Like, that's fine. I'm just not sharing it. That's weird. You weirdos. Christ. Oh. Oh, boy. Wow. Wow.

Okay, I was about to scroll past this section, but then I said, but then I saw... But then you saw hair! So, Kumquat, I'm going to lead you in here, and you've got a post from September 14th, 2017 by Alessa. It's about wigs. You are a woman, by the way. Congratulations. And I'm just going to lead you in here. Should I get a wig? My name is

Pyromancer. Hey, guys. Recently, I've been thinking of getting a wig to play with. Do any of you have past experience or suggestions about this? Is synthetic okay? Does it last or work? Or should I

invest in real hair or neither? Thanks. Oh, hello. I'm Alyssa. As you might figure, I don't do hair jobs with wigs. You might have figured that.

That's one thing I know about you, Alessa. You like two creams in your coffee and you don't do hair jobs with wigs. But I do have a lot of experience in wearing and styling them. Oh, yeah. Everything you wrote sounds legit. Synthetic hair cannot replace human hair.

And prices are rising due to ascending demand for human hair. But used or older wigs

can be found for a cheaper price try looking for a wig store which might poses older wigs that are no longer trendy another parenthesis ones from

10 years ago can be found for significantly lower prices. Yeah, but obviously someone else has already come on that wig. I think I'll have 80s hair. That adds to the value. There's a collector's item now. If there's more come in the hair,

that is dreadlocks. Of course. Prices change according to hair's origin. I find the European and Russian hair the most fun to play with. But Brazilian hair is thick and have a lot of volume. And Asian hair is also very thick. Yet I find it less like.

Ponytails are nice but have their downsides. Imho, as someone who wore synthetic wigs, big no-no! Using them for hair jobs will make them messy and untangleable. Wouldn't that be good? Untangleable.

Untangleable is what he meant to say. She. It. In very short time. And Frank West, you have a response? This is a response? This is its own thread. Are you sure? Click on it, my man. Oh, you're right. Oh, yeah.

This is a whole new thread of wonder and adventure, and we can leave all that gross stuff behind us and move forward into the future. My name is Mr. M, and I want to eat long hair. Um, okay.

I would like to lick, suck, put in my mouth, and eat beautiful long hair. And you? And you? Let's open up the floor. Alright. Well, I'm the conch shell.

Then some more posts happen, and then Mr. M comes back with another response. Hey. Even though the idea of eating long hair seems quite extreme. As opposed to short hair. Like eating long hair seems quite extreme. As opposed to short hair. Like eating short hair.

Totally. That's fine. I mean, it's less filling. Pedestrian. Great taste. It's a gateway hair plug. Yeah. It's nice to see that some of us share this fantasy.

Yeah, it's nice. This is confirmed by different comments that I saw on Samantha Snow's blog or Facebook, don't remember too well, a few years ago. One guy posted that he had a huge desire to eat all her hair. And then she replied that her hair was very delicious and that he should taste it. Word. One guy. Some guy that I should taste it. Right. One guy. Some guy that I don't know. Some guy.

Some hair eater who's not me. But obviously, not a lot of pics or videos to illustrate this on the web. Because I ate them all. There are those Japanese videos that look very interesting. Yes. A few months ago saw a part of the video.

The dude was literally swallowing a long ponytail. I should be able to find it back if you guys want to see it. That's okay. You already jerked off twice since you started that sentence. It's fine.

Thanks. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Lisa Kay videos on Clips for Sale also show good potential to realize this kind of fetish. And why not Miana Wolf? Perhaps she should accept that a guy

swallow a small lock of her hair in her next videos? Perhaps she would. Perhaps she might not, though. She might not. She might not. It actually leaves the door open for so many scenarios. Yeah.

Put chocolate ice cream in hair and then lick everything, for example. If some of you have interesting things or have the Japanese video I'm talking about, don't hesitate to share. Thanks. Mr. M out. Very informative. Wow, we're doing a lot of things with hair in this episode. Oh boy, he found the video too.

Wow, hair. Oh. Women. Me too. So, Bunny Bread Yeah What's your name there, Bunny Bread? I'm a pretty lady Oh yeah?

Hell yeah Oh my god Okay, anyways, I am That girl with six feet of hair I got plenty hairy Six feet of hair! I got plenty hairy. Six feet of hair might want to sell! Stuck! Hi, you all!

I randomly found this site on Google, if you heard of it, while looking for sites to sell my hair on. Oh, no! Run! Run! No, shut up! You start coming! I mean, I don't know if there's a better source, honestly. It seems like there's some enthusiastic buyers.

Christ, I want to... Everything should die in hellfire. Yes, you read the title right. I have at least six feet of fucking hair! I have five foot eight and my hair's under my feet when wet and a bit above! You!

That wind dry as I have super naturally wavy hair! Is it always under your feet? Do you ride around on your hair? I fly! I fly, goddammit!

I seem to be stuck in how slash where in a cell. Stuck in your hair. I have been doing a lot of reading online, and I have read a lot about people who have a hair finish. Is this the right place? They want to buy others' hair. Now, is this legit? Hmm? Hmm?

I have also seen where you can buy videos of long hair or pay to chat with someone with long hair, which I find interesting. I feel like I am at the point where mine is so long that I have no other option but to cut it. Can you? That's right. That would be great. Thanks, horny face. I have no other option but to cut it. Can you? Thoughts? All right, that would be great.

Thanks, horny face. Thoughts. Thoughts, yeah. These people have thoughts. When I say thoughts, I mean kumwads. All right. Well, kumkwas up. Does Lovler have a thought?

My name is Lovler. How it works. Long-haired lover. Oh, shut up, man. You ruined it. Basically, you get paid via PayPla or something

similar, and we see you on Skip Yee for a fixed amount of time. I's over here! You can choose mutually beforehand about what the Skip Yee show is going to involve. But all of this will only happen once

the customer is convinced that you and your hair are real. Is anybody else just turned on by dyslexia? Just curious. So posting photos here is a first step. Wow. Wow. Coming down to

the end of this episode, but I have some racial science for you oh okay we're on these guys side right finally topic time I think they've won us over so now that

that's happened let's get some racial science my name is my name is hair lover I'm the admin of this site drop some science Let's get some racial science. Hell, yes. My name is Hair Lover. Hey! I'm the admin of this site. Drop some science. Drop some non-racial science. Well, no, it is racial science.

Facts. No, no, it's just... No, it's facts. Yeah. Okay. I will talk about my experience with different girls' hair. And I put the apostrophe in the wrong place i have touched and played with almost more than 10 different girls hair from different nationalities you're like a dude who fucks women almost well no i would not sink to such things i saw that on

your chivo wall but you know i know, I didn't blame you. I know where my pleasures are. Yeah, their heads were on the wall. I have... Oh, you saw that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I have to die now.

That's a funny joke. Just a funny joke. My head goes up on the wall. No, thanks. I have touched Philippines, Indians, Arabic, Chinese, Pakistan, Vietnam hairs. I have hair fetish. If there is such a thing. I don't know. Did I just come up with that term?

What are the softest hairs, you're asking me? Well, the answer, Vietnamese, Pakistan, and Arabic girl. You're asking me what are the thickest hairs? I have the answer for you as well. Chinese and Vietnamese girl. Open parens, Indians, Arabic, Chinese, Pakistan, Vietnam, close parens. Hairs are the most good feeling. I mean, when you touch it, you will feel like it's real and actual hair.

Uh-huh. Yeah, that's what it feels like. You're like, whoa, this feels real. That's weird. This hair feels like it's on your head. Philippines' hairs are good and soft, but when you touch it, it feels like plastic. Maybe because it's not so much thick. Fantastic.

Arabic hairs are the same as Pakistan's. Soft, sure, but Pakistani's more thick. Vietnamese are a different story. Vietnamese have thick and soft and so black hair. So many Vietnamese girls, they like long hair. So they keep their hairs so long. Science. Chinese are thick. Chinese near to Philippines, but sure better because they have so thick hair.

Indians, they have have so thick hair. Indians, they have thick and long hair, but not like Pakistanis' hair. Pakistanis more softer. I was thinking they are the same, but what I have tried are different. Some Indians, girl, have thick and soft hairs, and

the others, no. Oh, oh, okay. The other ones have no hair. No? No. No. I can rate them like this. Philippines, 4 out of 10. Indians,

5 out of 10. Arabic, 6 out of 10. Chinese, 4.5 out of 10. Pakistan, 6 out of 10. Chinese, 4.5 out of 10. Pakistan, 6 out of 10. Vietnam, 8 out of 10. That is the end of my list. That means no human being is 10 out of 10.

Nobody's got there. Someday I will touch the hair of God. How do I know what 10 is then? Jesus has nice hair. He touches his own pubes and compares. Wow. Achilles, this is a response. I'm not really sure.

Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Oh, no, never mind. Never mind. Bunny bread. You got a response from Snark Nation there? Snark Nation. Hang on.

Oh, there we are. Yep. Hey, fellas. Oh, God. This is in response to somebody saying my girlfriend has straight hair. Well, I ain't going to let that shit stand. No. Bitch.

Anyway, my name's Snark Nation, goddammit! You guys intimate already? Are you screwing or getting blowjobs? Huh? Huh? Huh? Answer me, motherfucker! Answer me when I'm talking to you!

Goddamn question! Oh, boy. Well, anywho. You're making him mad. It's a short trip to the Fetish Fun Factory. That Play-Doh set was sold out. Just past the Cracker Barrel. Right on there on I-90.

This site is so stupid. Just tell her she's hot. Right? And how much you love the hair. Introduce the concept that cum, right? You know it. I know it. We love it. Is the best hair conditioner available. Right? Cum is the best hair conditioner

available. No one's ever tried that shit. Not something to say eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioio I said, if not, take it slow. I'd work toward regular sex first. Oh, gross. If I have to. Trice her vagina just sitting there. Put my time in, put my time in. Working in the mind, you know.

Working in a coma. I worked our regular six first or a blowjob depending on what is in her interest take this twat and shove it and make sure she gets her fair share of orgasms I guess or whatever the Christ women have if

PIV doesn't get her off. That is penis in vagina. Thank you, Reddit. That is my point I'm viewing. Alright, doesn't get her off. And believe me, a lot of girls don't. Don't be afraid to simulate her orally with fingers.

Or just borrow her vibrator. Put it on your own dick. Show it up your own ass. Leave her alone. Just take the vibrator. Run for the border. Ask her what her fantasies are. And try and accommodate those two. Aye, girls.

Yeah, if I would just want to drill in on one particular little sentence fragment that I think is very telling about you, Mr. Snark Nation. If penis and vagina doesn't get her off, and believe me, a lot of girls don't. Hey, why do you think that is? Well, I think women are all lesbians. All of them. I have been trying to simulate her orally for the past ten years.

I'm Beth My name's Beth Oh god And Achilles Hello I'm Lovett Long I never actually told my girl Restate your name won't you please Will you restate your name

Properly this time I'm Lovett Long Thank you Will you restate your name properly this time? I love it. Long. Thank you. I never actually told my girl I had a fetish. Over time, she figured it out. And dumped me. I would tell her... Detective cum hair.

I would tell her things like, it made me hard when she took her hair down. I would always have my hands in her hair when we had sex. Wow. When she gave me a blowjob, I always had it all over my stomach and played with it. But I was shy about it, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, you just met.

Yeah. Making a little sand castle. And I have asked her to please keep it long and grow it even longer if she can. Stuff like that. Subtle things. Subtle things. You know, like coming on her.

Like, you know, I threw out all of her scissors. She knows I love it. I killed her mother. That wasn't really the fetish thing, I just, you know. Yeah, I hate her mother. Fuck her. Bob-wearing bitch. Don't you talk

shit about bobs. Uh-oh, uh-oh, Rift. We're going to have a bob off? I like the bob on. She knows I love it now, and she loves that I do.

Yeah, love. Half right, half right. Tolerates, that's right. I have also sometimes told her to put her hair up when we have sex. I think she likes to know I'm not just attracted to her hair.

Even if I think about it during those times, she will never know what I'm thinking in my head during sex. Of course, she has no inkling. It's so embarrassing when you're having sex with a lady and you accidentally shout out like, your hair, your hair. But if you get the hair's name wrong,

then I'm deep shit. Bob, I mean, oh shit, I mean, I mean, I mean, bangs, damn it. I mean, bangs, baby, mean, I mean, I mean bangs, damn it. Come back bangs. I get turned on by her hair bun anyway. I can't have sex without thinking about her hair, but I don't think she needs to know that. That's right, our little secret.

Yes, hello. My name's Quicks. Oh, I love your cereal. That's almost like the same situation as mine. Thanks, Quicks. I do have that problem. Goodbye. So what did we learn from the long hair forum?

I'm going gonna shave my head I learned that people who are into the long hair fetish Really, really like putting spaces before punctuation Like more consistently than I've ever seen that happen on any forum Well, you know what That's assuming there's more than one of these guys You know what, I'm kind of disappointed by though What's that?

There were no Harry Potter jokes. You know, like, here's the thing. It's like you wind up for, like, seconds before the joke, so you just know it's on its way. You know what? Everyone be quiet. Well, like any good pitcher, you have to let them know that the ball

is coming come on now the sign saying applause did you actually look for Harry Potter yes of course he did there's Harry pubes there is a big bang theory thread

yeah yeah I mean we've been to a period thread. Yeah. Uh, yeah! Uh, I mean, um, we've been to, uh, other fetish communities where I found, uh, the citizenry a lot more sympathetic than these fucking guys. Yeah, these

guys are very, of all the, like, object sort of fetish people, they're the least pleasant. These guys guys suck i don't like these guys and like this would be i don't know this isn't that hard to explain well some of it's hard to explain but i mean i don't know to explain hard to master yeah i mean yeah i remember when we were doing uh like you know burp fetish or sneeze fetish or whatever, and those dudes would be apologetic about, like, oh, no, well, you know, shit, my family member sneezed,

and I had a boner, and it was bad, and I'm mad about it. There was none of that here. None. Yeah, these guys are just, I want to come all over this. Hair, all hair. My thing is your fault! Yeah. Yeah, it's exactly right. Yeah, and I mean,

I was- You wash my cum out, lady! Shut up! Fuck off! I was expecting hair fucking, I was expecting Were you expecting hair eating? I was not expecting hair eating. That was the twist. Well, that's on you, isn't it? That was the twist penne pasta.

Yeah. I would say that, like, the people in the forum... Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, facility. Yeah, that's what you're thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The people in this forum don't really seem to have... Like, they were definitely, like, limited in their sexual experiences and their sexual partners. So there was definitely, like, a thing of sort of, like, they had some, it felt like a lot of them seemed to have some sort of perfect girl in their mind that they were trying to.

When is that not the case with these other fetish things? I suppose that's probably true. Like, limited sexual partners. I suppose that's probably true limited sexual partners this is unique I guess it's just it's like in all of these things because like you said Achilles like this is not it's not the weirdest

thing that we've covered by any means like it's just like you know I'm into like this particular part of a woman's body is like well sure but there weren't It's just like, you know, I'm into this particular part of a woman's body. It's like, well, sure. But there weren't threads of, like, Vietnamese feet. Yeah. Maybe it's just normal enough that you get enough people that you get, like, an unpleasant community.

But just weird enough that you weed out the normal people. Was anybody else waiting for, like, the Chris Rock documentary to pop up? Because I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good documentary. I like that documentary a lot. Good Hair, it's called. Yes, Good Hair, of course.

I didn't want to say it for fear of anybody popping. Thanks, thanks. I appreciate that. You're welcome. Your bone is your fault. But yeah, there's that thing There's that thing of so many of these fetishes Where they They have this thing

This little fucking porno goblin That lives in their head And it makes them do things To other people And I wish they wouldn't I wish they would get a handle on their shit that didn't have to. They do, all the time.

That's true. Yeah. The website, as always, thefpl.us. We will have links to a couple things. The photo from earlier, as well as the actual doc. And here's the reason why that's worth mentioning. Morgan, again, provided this doc.

Thank you. But the doc itself was 68 pages. We read the beginning 20 pages of it. The rest of it is all hair-related erotic fiction. Hell on Earth.

Part two was called Tales of Hair Fucking. Tags.literotica.com slash hair. There's a lot of tales of hair fucking. If you're interested in such a thing, document it. And a bonus link to the handful of erotic

werebear stories by Papa Werebear. Oof. Good. Our forum's Ball Pit and I Werebear. Oof. Good. Our forum's Ball Pit, and I make dumb websites. Bye. Bye. Yeah. Hair. love could you guys hear me

corpsing that hard on that image because oh yeah fuck oh yeah yeah like I literally like threw off my headset and walked over to the other room and fell on the floor laughing laughing laughing I literally threw off my headset and walked over to the other room and fell on the floor. When I said, I gotta go, I meant it.