The F Plus - 287: Shorn To Secrecy

Episode Date: September 7, 2018

We've previously taught you that being into women's hair is a thing, but it turns out that the cutting of hair is a thing as well. There's a surprising number of sites documenting this fact, and we're looking at several of them, from forums to niche porn to... well, that's really it. This week, The F Plus saves #0000 for when we're nearing orgasm.

Have I ever told the story of punk rock on the podcast? All of it? The story of punk rock? All of it. Okay, let me tell you the story of punk rock. Okay, please. There's a guy and his girlfriend, and they're walking through a suburban neighborhood, and the guy's totally punk rock. And his girlfriend says, hey, what is punk rock?

And they walk for a little bit before he answers. Then he picks up a rock, and he throws it through a window. He says, that's punk rock? And they walk for a little bit before he answers. Then he picks up a rock and he throws it through a window. He says, that's punk rock. She goes, oh. And so they walk for a little bit longer. And then she picks up a rock and throws it through a window and says, hey, so that's punk rock? He's like, no, that's trendy. I'm not kidding you

I'm gonna find a way into my mind When we're ready to roll When we're ready to roll Hey there, have a seat. You looking for the usual? The F+, terrible things, ribbit enthusiasm? I've got you, no problem In the room tonight we've got Boots Reingear I would be emperor with a harem of beautiful women with beautiful long hair.

Every day, a number of them would line up in front of the throne room. They would all get bobbed and banged by my hands. Nutshell Gulag! Akash said her hair got stuck in a lift in a hotel, so cutting her hair was the only way. Jimmy Franks? Boots read mine. Bunny bread? WikiHouse, how to cut hair.

Step one, preparing and washing the hair. Step two, cutting the hair. Step three, wiping your ejaculate off the poor lady once more, you fucking sick piece of shit. They're calling the cops again. And lemon. 2013, rhymes for sick piece of shit. They're calling the cops again. And Lemon. 2013. Rhymes for Young Ghouls. Devery Jacobs.

Canadian movie. Unwanted haircut. Hey, F-Plus. Hey, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, how do you feel about the internet that we live among? Fuck that. Safe. Wait, what'd you ask about?

The internet. I said the internet. The internet that we... Yeah, fuck him. Yeah. Oh. Eat a dick, internet. I think the information superhighway is a new venture towards an age of information. Yeah, that's what I said.

Wow, that's really good. Can I, is that in your mind? I'm very optimistic. I'm optimistic about the things that it will lay out for us and bring about a new age of understanding and communication. Are you working on a grant proposal right now? I think it's the source of 100% of our material. I just wish that minutes on AOL were cheaper. That's all.

Whoa. Whoa. What is the internet like where you live there, Jimmy? What the hell? I just wish my mom wouldn't pick up the phone when I was using it. Where are you guys? I buy by the hour and have for quite some time. Where are you guys? I buy by the hour and have for quite some time.

Well, not that long ago, back in April of 2018, we did an episode on hair fetish. I don't know if any of you remember that. No. You were in that one, Bunny Bread. No. Episode on hair fetish and people who are turned on by different, you know, women with hair, different styles of hair. This episode today is about a hair cutting fetish. Ah. Yeah.

So they're ruining what those other guys love. Maybe. Or making it better. I'm not sure. It could be. So this is a document given to us by Shell Game and Dijon DuJour. First time for both of them, I think, maybe? Anyway, thank you regardless. But they begin by saying, oh, you think these people are just into hair?

Well, pump up your barber chair, because this ain't some one-trick fetish. And it's that spelling of trick. So we're going to start off with a site that I don't know if we've ever started here before. We're going to Wikipedia. Yeah. Excellent. So there's a user by the name of Kaldari. And Kaldari has done a bunch of things for Wikipedia.

Recognized article contributions are Emma Goldman, list of municipalities in Tennessee, Nashville sit-ins. Okay, so there's a theme. And then it seems like Kaldari here is some sort of insectophile, because a lot of the things seem to be about insects, but also contributed this article, which Wikipedia felt was insufficient and needed fixing. So, Jimmy Franks.

Yeah. This was, let's take this description here and let's figure out exactly why Wikipedia has rejected it. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A person with a haircut fetish is sexually and or emotionally aroused by having their head hair cut,

by cutting the hair of another, by watching someone get a haircut, or any combination of these. Ooh, I like the combination. So, like, you're getting your haircut while cutting something, like a daisy chain sort of situation? That's a 69. It's a mutual styling encounter.

Haircut fetishists can be either male or female. The haircut fetish usually manifests as a desire to see head hair, often long hair, being cut off or even shaved, and often extends to a desire to witness or fantasize about non-consensual haircuts, including... I only watch the first 15 minutes of every Army movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the credits of Full Metal Jacket and I'm out. The credits of Full Metal Jacket, and I'm out. Including punishment, revenge, military, school, prison, religious induction, or other kinds of forced haircuts.

Okay, okay. Many haircut fetishists, both male and female, claim their fetish began when their own hair was non-consensually cut short during childhood or puberty, which I think is pretty much every child, isn't it? This would appear to be a widespread fetish as there are many hundreds of websites devoted to it based in countries all over the world. Oh boy, I'm excited to find these. But it is a seemingly secret fetish, largely unrecognized by or commented upon by the media or even acknowledged in Western culture. See, that's what they don't want you to know about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that's what they don't want you to know about. How are we supposed to exhibit meaningful change as a society?

Big fetish doesn't want you to know. We're under the thumb of the two fetish system. There is no evidence to suggest that haircut fetishism extends to any significant practice of actual imposed non-consensual haircuts. The fetish is prevalent among both genders and crosses both heterosexual and homosexual orientations. For some, arousal is exclusive for haircutting occurring on a person of the opposite sex. For others, it is exclusive to haircutting on a person of the same sex.

Still, in other cases, the arousal could be generalized to both genders. In any case. Yes? I just, like, when, when, because all of these sentences need citation needed, and I'm trying to figure out what emoji to put after that. Like a sort of quizzical citation needed. Yeah, shrugging shoulders, a shaky head. Well, for many, arousal is focused on haircutting involving themselves, on others, or both. The haircut fetish finds its roots in both ancient Greece, biblical stories, and religious rites.

Socrates was a perv. Big time. In mythology, strength is associated with hair. Samson and Delilah. In mythology, strength is associated with hair. Samson and Delilah. In Christian, Buddhist, and Hindu religions, tonsure is an established rite combining hair deprivation with purity of the body.

Hair deprivation? I love your one example that was straight off the top. Of like, yeah, Samson and Delilah. And, you know, probably other religions, presumably. Like, Buddha was bald, I think. Show your work, pervert. Oh, God. Oh, we're done. I think that's it.

That's it. Yeah, football. I think I've said enough. I think you have. So, yeah, that was Wikipedia. And Wikipedia, of course, is an interesting place, but sometimes Wikipedia can be a little bit dumb and a little bit gross. A little bit.

And so because of that, we're going to be leaving Wikipedia and head over to NoFap.com. Yay! Oh, yeah. That's right. Previous subject, NoFap.com. Get a new grip on life. That's right. Previous subject, nofap.com. Get a new grip on life. If you're unfamiliar, nofap is a totally Reddit.

Yeah, I thought it was just the Reddit we did the last time. anti-personal masturbation, of getting a better life by not masturbating. Which is something that, because it's Reddit-based, it got adopted by a bunch of MRAs. Because, you know, they're living their best life. You said anti-personal masturbation? So they are invited to jerk other people off?

Well, no. I'm saying that they just think they're better. Like, they're not on a crusade against all masturbation. All jerking. Just they are. Yeah, it's like their own personal. Yeah. I'm a better human today because I do not fap. They are the non-jerking uber bench.

Okay. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. So my name is Rev123, and hello, people. Hi, I'm a new FAPstronaut. So I'm new to NoFap. Uh, the problem which I am facing is not a porn addiction. Well, goodbye.

I am facing haircut fetish addiction. I get aroused when I watch good-looking girls or women getting short haircuts, and I also masturbate while watching those videos. Of course, I do get aroused while watching porn, but less in intensity. Does NoFapGuide help me in fighting this addiction? Is there a clause for me specifically? Who's my sponsor? Send forth the NoFap guy to lead me through this journey. I think it should.

However, I need second thoughts or more insights from you people. And is there any haircut or hair fetish addict, current or ex, enrolled in this community? Period. Thanks.

My name. And, um, uh, nutshell, your name is Jen enrolled in this community, period. Thanks, my name. Nutshell, your name is Jen and then a bunch of numbers. I'm totally not a bot, though. Well, actually, the number is significant because it's a reference. Yeah, come on. Jen.

Never mind. Sing it! Oh, boo. I don't get it. Okay, just say your name out loud. Jen 867-5309. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9.

No, she said 0-9-9. 8-6-7-5-3-0. Okay. Okay. Okay. I am a NOPAP moderator, and I think the site can definitely help you with this addiction. I don't know about anyone with that particular addiction, but at its core, it pretty much affects us all the same way. The object of the addiction doesn't really matter much in the long run.

Hey. Hey, this is Black English 2017. LOL, are you joking? I thought my foot fetish was bad. Oh! Oh! Hey. I'm not really sure that tracks.

Maybe you should work that through the clubs a little bit and see if you can punch that Yeah, but on a serious note, I wonder what triggers your fetish. Is it the hair? Is it the head? Is it the hair color? Or is it the price of a cut and blow dry? Oh! Uh, Jen here again.

Fetishes take all sizes and shapes. There's nothing to scoff at here. Oh, hey, you are correct. I guess I have a lot to learn. When I told people I like smelling women's underwear, they used to think I was mental and deranged. It's nice that you lead somebody into that conversation. Right.

Well, now that we're friends. And Boots, finish that up, please. Yeah, I'm Lantis323. I'm a new Fapstronaut. It's very interesting to read these comments. I've never shared my story or talked to anyone with a similar case. Period. Period. So, this is pretty new for me.

I am a 28-year-old man, and I, too, get sexually excited from seeing haircuts. Especially shaved haircuts. It only applies to women, and for some reason, I prefer when a head is partially shaved rather than completely bald. I've had this for as long as I can remember. I feel disgusted and weird, and I would never even try to share this with anyone within my friends or family, as I am deeply ashamed. He cannot handle watching a Mumford and Sons concert at all. Well, we have that in common. My

ex-girlfriend tricked me into sharing this, and that's exactly the reason why she is my ex now. Wait, that broke up while he was writing that sentence? I have a haircut and fetish! Goodbye! What are you into? What do you want?

Just tell me what are your deepest desires. Haircuts! Bye! You can keep the dog. Fuck this. I'm out. Don't shave the dog! I think honesty is very important in a divorce. I guess I can say I'm addicted to it as I watch haircut videos at least three times a week.

I think you can say that then. I honestly can't think of a reason why I am the way I am. We'll help you, maybe. As far as I can remember, I've never suffered from a trauma that deep that would cause something like this. Yeah, well, I don't know what kind of trauma that would be.

Yeah, just... Thanks for posting your stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. Yeah, well, you're alone now. Your ex left you. Oh. So fuck you. Oh.

So we're leaving the quiet sophistication of NoFap and we're heading over to clipperworship.proboards.com. This is much more at F plus speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, clipperworship.proboards.com. The website is pink, white, red, and blue.

And the entire background is nothing but shaved heads. Or like shaved heads with like weird Morrissey haircuts everywhere. Just a lot of people that had clippers taken to their scalp. High and tight. Yeah, high and tight. That's just. Yeah, it's a collage that looks like it used to have a mirror behind it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Like this is something out of the stage direction at Heather's. Yeah, so anyway, this is clipperworship.com. There's a whole bunch

of different sub-forums. Introduce Yourself, General Hair Conversation, Stories, Pics, and Video, I'm sure is very popular. There's both a Shave the and the shave the men category. What about shave the children? That was shut down immediately.

That topic is members only. So anyway, so Jimmy Franks. Yeah. You're new here, and you're looking for clipper love. Is that right? The better joke was Shave the Whales, and it took me too long to get there, but I just want to get that in there. All right. What were you saying?

Well, where do I count that in? I'll clumsily edit that in for you. Shave the Whales. Okay. That was shut down immediately. There's both a shave the women and the shave the men category. What about shave the whales? Shave the whales. Shave the whales.

Okay. Okay, what do we got? Clipper dreams? You're new here, and you're looking for Clipper love. Oh, yeah. Well, not much posting going on here, but I thought I'd try this out. I'm a female. What's your name? Oh, I'm sorry.

This is Clipper Dreams. And my signature is, this site is dead. Try FetLife. Big community there. Shots fired, Clipper worship. Not much posting going on here, but I thought I'd try this out. I'm a female, 63, who's been fixated on Clippers off and on over the years since a little kid. My mom used to cut our hair. Jesus. She cried. I asked if it hurt, and she said yes. As an adult, I've wanted to have just my nape shaved until it hurt. I know in reality that it doesn't, but in my fantasy, it does.

Well, it could. I mean, it could. Like, if you had shitty clippers, it would. Or a shitty barber. Or spend some time down there. Now that I'm retired and have the internet under my control and not the company's, I've found lots of women who like clippers. You had to retire for that? I don't, okay.

I found videos of women getting all sorts of clipper cuts and watching the shaved napes has really turned my clipper desire, oh, has really turned this old body on. But all the videos, all the stories I've found are all about the short haircut itself. My clipper desires have taken a more sexual turn. Well, okay. I mean, this does really seem like a place for fetishes, but okay.

Not only do I want just my neck shaved till it hurts, I want my vajayjay shaved till it hurts too I want my vajayjay shaved till it hurts too. Till it hurts? I've written stories about my fantasies and they do include sex. All

kinds of sex. There's been gross sex, grosser sex, icky sex, nasty sex. Now it gets honest. It gets honest. I'm overweight. I'm overweight with my dad's face, so I'm already

at a disadvantage for looking good with a shortcut. When you say with my dad's face, do you mean like in a leather face scenario? Sure. I keep it in my hope chest. I'm 100% hetero, divorced, and with the shortcut men love, I'd look butch.

Not in a good way to find a man, which I'd love to have in my life. Now, I don't know how to find a real licensed barber who would do this. I don't know if she's talking about a licensed barber to shave her vajayjay? I mean, yeah, that would probably be difficult. Also, you probably, like, nobody at Great Clips wants to do that. Also, like, this is constant. It doesn't hurt enough. Why am I not bleeding?

Lots of amateurs, but I want the barber experience. The blue... The combs in the blue water. Alright, you can get the girlfriend experience, the barber experience. We offer those two things. One of my fantasies is to find

a barber shop that caters to women in this way Shaves slash sex That has a secret room Or well guess that's enough introduction Oh wait I skipped a line That has a secret room or basement Where a complete shop is set up Well guess that's enough introduction

Sorry sorry my name is Buzz Clipper Dreams You've just explained the issue a few women with this fetish have expressed They are extremely turned on by being forced into or willfully consenting to a shortcut

but shortcuts aren't usually liked by men God Okay shortcuts aren't usually liked by men. God. Okay. I like this hyper pervert, but the pixie haircut. So finding someone not only to do the cutting,

but to want to be with them afterwards is hard. Yeah. I'll cut your hair, but there's no boner involved. Shorn hard, put away wet. Myself, I'd go absolutely

insane for a woman who'd let me get sexual with her hair. But I'm in my twenties, so finding a woman whose similar age who will do it is really tough. Young women generally do not want to walk around bald. It's a high-stakes fetish because you have to wear the evidence of it so openly. Well, you know, if you do a consort with your clients, you could lose your cosmetology license.

Hi, I'm Sheared Bear. How exciting! I am just a little older than you, but have had this craving since childhood as I watched a girl sitting in a barber's chair as her mom had her head sheared. And since then, my craving has expanded into powerful fantasies,

with a woman who craved her head sheared, even shaved, and who expected her partner to be willing to reciprocate. And rather than explore that part of my brain, I need to change the rest of the world to accommodate. The years have given us the advantage, expanding our fetish slash fantasy, combining lovemaking and the clippers.

My favorite and most prized possession is my Oster 76 with a number two for foreplay and the number one for beginning. And then the number triple zero when desire takes control and finally quadruple zero when nearing orgasm. Oh, the jargon's going to get super hot. I know of no other way or means of getting closer to a woman than to cut off her hair, knowing I must allow her to have her way with me, then hand the clippers to her. What goes around should simply come, C-U-M, around. Oh, I see what you did there. Yeah.

Man, if only the hair metal guys had figured out that pun eventually. Don't let the idea that your weight makes you feel less than desirable. It is not where your beauty lays. Your beauty is your falling hair for the man who understands you and cares for your feelings and all your passion. Our passion is the gold standard for lovemaking. Jimmy Franks, please just read out loud the joke that you just typed in there. Clippersforsale.com. No.

Anyway, you have a response. Sheared Bear, the problem I find with just about all the men who are into it is that they want to shave me bald. I am not into that at all. Never have been, never will be. My nape is my sensitive spot and that's all I want shaved.

Not every woman looks good bald And I'm one of them But the thought of an Oster 76 Or wall balling clipper On my nape drives me nuts Yeah, yeah, yeah You okay there, guys? Thanks for your post, though

Good to see someone new come along And Nushalia, your response? post though uh good to see someone new come along and uh not show you a response i think bob cut in a naked a naked nape is a powerful stimulant a woman with her head shaved always attractive well almost always some women cannot support it but somewhat takes away the suspense maybe keep her wondering what might be next these sentences these almost make sense, and then they just kind of... They're missing certain verbs. Yeah. And censorship. That's what I'd really like.

Listen, all this guy knows is that when he was watching the gorgeous ladies of wrestling... A woman with a boy's haircut with a tightly clippered nape and closely cropped side's top combed to the side almost as short is very stimulating. My tastes vary

very very very very very from moment to moment. Crew cuts or borderline crews especially when the woman takes on a somewhat masculine overtone is hot. Like I said to shave your head I think is too anticlimactic,

but for the act to be pending can be exciting. For me... What is... Okay, that whole paragraph was confusing to me. For me, a woman who has her nape shaved or near shaved is like lifting her skirt and taking down her panty. Oh, my.

Weird, But it always And then not being able to put them back on For three months Weird but it always creates such a vision for me It's like undressing you slash her The Clippers can be such a powerful Phallic device When used properly

Glad to meet you and enjoy your Expressive nature I'd like I want to think that I want to think that for when used properly. Glad to meet you and enjoy your expressive nature. I'd like, I want to think that, uh, I want to think that, uh, for Sheardbear right there, like, that happened. Like, like, somebody was, like, looking, you know, making eye contact with him, and, like, and, like, took her underwear off, and he just kind of

stared stone face, and then she just took the clipper to the back of her head, and then he just text Avery it out on her. Um, uh, okay, her. Okay, so... So... Bunny bread. Yes, finally. I was watching football.

I'm sorry. Oh, good. Yeah, so we're going to stay on this thread, or this site here a lot, because I like it. It's good. It just looks nice. No, I feel safe here. It's just a pretty attractive

place to be. So your name is I'd Love to be Shaved, but I'm going to leave you in here. My name's Tony B. My thread is just called Clippers. I'd like to talk about

my hair. Nope. I'd like to talk about my harddraft fetish. I'd like to talk about my Hadra fetish. Now that I am out of the closet. For years, I thought I was alone. I have hair to my shoulders. I want to meet the right person to run clippers all over my head. High and tight is my fave. Extra high and zero, zero, zero, zero tight.

Barber jargon. Yeah. So yeah, your name is I'd Love to be Shaved. I'm a lady, correct? Oh yeah, clearly. Hello, I'm in Love to be Shaved. There we go.

Hello, I'm 20 years old girl. I've had an air fetish ever since I could remember. I would love to be shaved and give it a nice fade while I masturbate and suck my barber's dick, right? I'm such a Miranda, you know. Okay, okay, I'm just, can you sketch me? Can you sketch me a drawing of what this looks like? Oh, okay, I'll just read the same shit. Can you just bring it up in poser

and just do it there? Draw me like one of your bald French girls. I'd give it a nice fade while I masturbate and suck my barber's dick. You know, the old number three special. I wish there was a guy... I can't pay for this haircut, but... I wish...

Shave an haircut, two licks. No, I'm into it. I'm into it. Okay. I wish there was a guy that could tell me enough with the hair,

push my head down and bust my nape down to Pharaoh. Then move up to my temples and run the clippers over and over my head until it's all nice and short. That's my ultimate fantasy. I want to be shaved all my life.

I want to wake up to the sound of clippers and feel of them being pushed into my skin to shave me down to skin. That's all that's left of me. Just skin. Just skin, no organs. Right. No bones, no nothing. I would love it if my man touched my head and nape while we have sex.

I hope there's people who share my desires. Hugs and kisses. Mwah, mwah, mwah. You know, there was a moment there where I was going to ask you to repeat that sentence, and then I realized that that paragraph had zero sentences in it. Correct. There's no periods. Nothing.

We got it through commas anyway. It's less than one sentence. Commas are like an attempt at periods. It's just they fell a little short. Horseshoes and hand grenades, you know. You know, I came to ClipperWorship.com because I'm a big LA Clippers basketball fan and now I'm just

super confused. See, now I held back from doing that fucking joke because I thought you guys Hey man, that's your fault. That's fine, to be frank, does it? If resident nerds do that shit, it's okay if you say it. Like a couple months ago, I made a Plaxico Burris joke and nobody laughed. I really wished you were there.

That was a disturbance in the force, I felt. Thanks for stopping by my low-hanging fruit stand. We got one more. Nachelle, you were a sheared bear, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, great. Okay, so... I can recommend on the internet, if you want to see something a little terrifying, do a Google search for shaved bear. Nope.

Oh, good. Okay. I'm going to do that while Nutshell reads this thread, which is entitled... Oh, wow. What's the title of your thread there? It's called Local Shearing Center Ordinances. We need design help. Oh.

Oh, right. All right. All right. We need design help. Oh. Oh, right. All right. All right. All right. Great. I wonder why there is such a low interest in such a pleasurable fetish site. Clipper Dreams has done her best to rekindle some flames. But for whatever reason, dot, dot, dot.

Since joining Clipper Worship, I've read some creative writings, saw some very good videos of gals giving into their resistance to the Clippers and even the Razor. But what would it take to make the flames roar? Maybe a thread that is dedicated to explicit involuntary shearings and shavings. First types of shearings accompanied with all your fantasies. Disciplining always goes well with a haircut. Giving and receiving. Gals and guys, where are you? Not on this forum, obviously.

Not on this forum. I think all guys should have to submit to their head being shaved bare, and all gals should have to at least once be sent to a barbershop for a crew cut or head shaving. No exceptions. Maybe a public disciplining center with one chair for men and one for women operated by trained male technician male for the women and female for the men each chair what a weird form of fascism this is each chair in front of a large window facing the street for passers-by to enjoy seeing who has been sent for the required sharing and shaving

what if you put them in the what if you put them in the stocks first and then shave the head? A very special chair for those who are late for their appointment or those who have been brought in by the authorities for having failed to comply with the local haircut ordinances. I wonder how the ordinances would read.

We need a lawyer member. And it's design help you need? All you need to make this happen is just a better logo? We need a lawyer member. And it's design help you need? All you need to make this happen is just a better logo? We need a lawyer member to help write the legalese. Something like, in pursuant to local ordinance SHR 001.0, all male and female residents of the township shall, without exception, appear at the approved shearing center's day and times determined by approved lottery systems to receive required compliance shearings and or shavings.

I think she's pretty much got the legalese locked up there. I mean, that's just fine. That sounds like lawyer talk to me. I mean, lawyers are monsters, so yeah. Man, dystopian future hellscapes are weird. Yep. Nuh-uh. All right, and so from there, we're going to be moving into Hvids.net.

Hvids.net! Hvids.net. Hvids.net's tagline is, since 2005, the best site for hair lovers. Yeah! I'm a hair lover! When you're here in your family. Watching hair get fall off

that's as opposed to hvids.com which is a site for some Danish guy hvids.com yeah so hvids.net the best site for hair lovers we saw a pretty good site for hair lovers

we'll have to find out but anyway this is a forum without a background image the best site for hair lovers. I mean, we saw a pretty good site for hair lovers. We'll have to find out. But anyway, this is a forum without a background image, so what the fuck is the point? But my name is Velours123, and I was thinking, this fetish, like many fetishes, is probably as old as the road to Rome. Just imagine being interested in hair in the Middle Ages.

Must have been a nightmare. That's a smiley face for you. I assume that on this forum, there are a lot of men and women who are from pre-internet generation. What was it like back then to be interested in hair? My generation... Was the hair different?

It had less internet. Man, you ever tried cutting off a bouffant? Just cutting through glue. If you can't Snapchat your hair, then what the hell is the point? My generation, which is the mid-twenties,

is spoiled when it comes to this. You're born in the mid-twenties? Nearly an ellipsis. Hey, my generation is all the time. Hvins.net. Special websites with videos, people making specific content, forums like this,

YouTube, Instagram, social media. I just really want to run your social media. That's all I'm saying. How were you people interested in your thing back then? And what was your response when you came across the content you liked? I probably write for Vice at this point. Don't trust me. It will have 10,000 words and it'll be all bullshit.

I remember reading some children's books when I was a little kid where sometimes hair cutting was involved. Remember Joan of Arc and Rapunzel, for example? Yeah, this guy's definitely 100 years old. Do you remember Joan of Arc? We all do. But apart from that, I never really saw or red content except for an occasional makeover show. But I was aware that a boy at age eight would be frowned upon if he would watch a makeover show. Oh, I'm getting red face, but then I'm going back to normal, but then I'm getting red face again, but then I'm going back to normal.

Okay, then what? I don't know, but I'm excited to read your stories. Hey, y'all doing? Real good. Real good, Clemson. Thanks. Yeah. How the hell do you know my name there, boy?

Oh, it's the name tag that you wore. Oh, okay. Oh, yes. That's how I shaved in my chest hair. That's Clem Zone. All the way down to my nitty gritty. Kneel before Clemson. Kneel before Clemzone. Kneel before Clemzone.

My tiger's at the bottom and you're going to meet him. When I was growing up in the 1980s, I wasn't aware of sources for hair makeovers other than magazines or the videos shown on TV as we called it back then. I didn't know anything about actual fetish magazines like The Razor's Edge. Googling. You have yourself a good old time now. Say hi to your dick for me. I would check good

housekeeping every month. Now, do you mean the movie from 1984 starring Bill Murray? Is there another goddamn good housekeeping out month because now do you mean the movie from 1984 starring bill murray is there another goddamn good housekeeping out there stupid i mean it's not a very good haircut he's got there he ain't got no hair so he's almost pre-shaven stupid sorry why ain't you smart all right i would check good housekeeping every month because my mama got it and they had a makeover of the month oh yeah now and occasionally right there was makeovers in their magazines like like that red book or the 17 you know my sister all right she got a subscription to glamlamour. And, and, and they got themselves a little

perfect haircut. I've featured in there for a while, alright? A lot of those makeovers from those days have been posted here on HVS in these here threads right now. Alright, so, you know, there's links and shit, and there's women and shit, and I already came like five times.

So, moving on. Here are a few clips that were special to me growing up now. One of the first haircut pics I had was in a making of the Star Trek The Motion Picture, right? Book.

There was a few grainy, yeah, yeah, a few grainy black and white pics of the Persis head shave. I don't know who that is, but my dick is raw. I remember thinking, I remember thinking

wouldn't it be amazing to see the actual film footage of this? Now, it's a couple of clicks away on that there YouTube, huh? Alright, now post that shit, and yeah, your dicks will thank me later. There was a TV movie called Women at the West Point

that had an induction haircut. It seems like nothing now, right? But at the time, it seemed like an amazing clip. Our friend who maintains the Heron Film website posted this. And then you click it and you, jeez. CNN Style had hair segments occasionally, right? One of our members collected a bunch of them and posted them on his channel. I recommend

you don't want to click that because, Jesus, you don't want CNN in your goddamn internet. Ooh, many more right here. You are being watched. There were other clips on TV shows, commercials, movies, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Occasionally, but there weren't plentiful like now. And had to hope hope to god you had a vcr and a tape ready and a freedom to tape it right without wondering anyone anyone wondering what you was up to i remember the first day i went on that internet and it occurred to me to do a search for haircutting sites. It was the summer of haircutting sites. I couldn't believe such an amazing variety of material was available.

I found the first incarnation of Ita, which is Utah spelled sideways. This was before Jason took it over. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jason Voorhees. Yeah, fuck him now. He ain't got no hair at all.

Dumb shit. Don't he know? Oh, my God. Haircut.net. Haircut.funpage. Hair.o.mania. Italian.hair.fashion.page.etc.etc. Jason's the Vox Media of hair fetish websites.

I was astounded, nah? Seriously. It was like the feast put in front of a starving man. This has been Clams Inn. I hope I'm dead soon. Yeah. So a couple things we need to talk about. Number one is, so during Bunny Bread's reading, I was finding out a lot about the Razor's Edge.

And the Razor's Edge was a an old fashioned fetish magazine from the early 70s. It ran for a couple of years. for a couple years um and yeah it was it was just a um uh like one of those like spanking like like british like spanking magazines except for all it was was women getting their haircuts and it ran for years on this which is pretty amazing honestly um there's just nothing but I mean, boy, if you want to see reverse mohawks shaved into very proper looking ladies. Do I ever. Yeah, holy shit. And then Boots, what did you find?

Okay, so one of the things BunnyBread referenced was Hair on Film, which is a website, haironfilm.net, which is a real HTML 1.0 kind of site, whose logo is just the IMDB with the M replaced with an H. And it is a list of every possible film. And it's still updated, even though it's still using.

These pages contain a list of haircuts and head shaves in movies and TV. That's great. It's just a database of that thing. So, Boots, I noticed that over on the sidebar there, there's some random clip of the day and recently added and all this stuff. But there's also most popular. And from the most popular link, what is the sexiest thing that I could see? What's the sexiest thing? I want to know what the sexiest thing that I could see? What's the sexiest thing? I want to know what the sexiest thing to see is.

You make weird noises when you come. It's Anne Frank, the whole story. Oh, yay! Hey, guys, there's one about a teenage cancer ward. What part of the movie? What? Oh, it's the graphic concentration camp scene in part two. Oh, excellent. Yay! I'm sorry, not sure, what did you

say? I said there's another one that's about a teenage cancer ward. Oh, fun! Yeah! So, uh, so, uh, we're gonna move away from this, uh, for obvious reasons, and we got Gigan over there. Gigan?

Yeah, this is, uh, this is G Gigan. Yeah, this is Gigan. This is Gigan. And growing up in the 1970s, a lot of it was just pure luck, man. You'd bump into something on TV. It'd be a commercial, a program, or a movie. Then the research was on. You'd find out the name of that program or movie and keep on the lookout for it in the future when or if it reran it was magazines at the library learn how to use the big green periodical references sometimes the newspaper would run a story with pictures of a long-haired local woman

cutting hip or knee-length hair those got saved and hidden in my room i remember looking at wow i remember looking at a tv guide when it came in the mail and scouring it front to back, seeing if a program or movie was scheduled for the week. Oh, brother, no VCRs, at least in our house, so you'd have to first see if you'd even be home when it came on TV, and if you'd even be able to see it. Sometimes I knew a movie was on in the early morning hours. I'd have to stay awake till everyone was asleep,

then get up and watch. It's a hard jerk life for us. You really had to put a lot of work into it long, long ago. Somehow it was much more rewarding than now with the Internet. Sometimes I sort of pined for the old days. Now on an almost daily basis, I see yards of hair being cut on the internet. Very specific YouTube channel. It's just an all cult channel, right?

The mole women have come up from this. Yeah, he's definitely jaded by all of this. I see yards of hair being cut on the internet. It doesn't even really phase me. You know, for those of us senior citizens, imagine that if we could see hip or thigh or knee-length hair being cut back in, say, 1975. Wow. It'd be a life-changing moment.

That'd have been the jackpot of jackpots. We would have given a limb to see that. Okay. Sorry about that. That'd be another fetish. Sorry about all that. I guess I'm just a grumpy old man. All right, get out of here. Get out of that. That'd be another fetish. Sorry about all that. I guess I'm just a grumpy old man. All right, get out of here.

Get out of here. I've had enough of this. Hey, is that Rubber 77? Yeah, I'm Rubber 77. I got to... Throw that mic down. I got to tell you about being old and into hair. Cut.

Step into the circle, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh. In my teen years, 1970s, I thought I was the only person in the world that got excited by women having their hair cut. That sounds better. Eventually, in the 80s, you could go to a dirty bookstore and look at the kinky store magazines, penthouse forum collections, et cetera, and see a very occasional reference. Yeah, but like very occasional

right I mean how often was penthouse letters containing hair shaving twice I donated most of your shit so both times I wrote in penthouse wow wow that is a

delayed gratification like writing your story submitting it to the editor, hoping it gets accepted. Reading it, then jerking off. Oh, man, I can't wait to masturbate in four to six weeks. Sorry. You're a maker. Jeez. And see the very occasional reference.

In the 90s, used that appeared on the pre-web internet. Alt.sex.fetish.hair, anyone? Mm-hmm. Those teen years of thinking I was genuinely freaky, combined with decades of closeting my interest resulted in a fair amount of therapy. Not enough, though! Eventually, I was invited

to talk to a class of psychiatry track med students about paraphilias. Oh, wow. I mean, you know... Then I was disinvited from the campus. Nutshell, close us out, please.

I remember at five years old, I was turned on by the bald-headed lady in Star Trek The Motion Picture, and it scared me. I didn't fully accept my fetish until 25, when I looked at women accept my fetish until 25 when I looked at women's haircut fetish sites. Then and even today when I look at

models in Playboy and Victoria's Secret, I have fantasies about them in their bra and panties or nude getting their hair cut off. Even when pubic was in vogue, I only tolerated it. I definitely love the shaved down there trend.

Wow. I remember when pubic was in vogue. I only tolerated it. I definitely love the shaved down there trend. Wow. I remember when Puvik was in Vogue. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. So yeah, so the document, once again, provided by Shell Game and Dijon Du Jour, and

credit to them, because this site actually, this document jumps around a lot to a bunch of, like, different, I would say, fun places. But, you know, in quotes. But, yeah, like, there's, for example, we were just, you know, spending some time there on HVids. But we're going to go to another site you might have heard from before.

Uh-oh. Yeah, so this is a site. ESPN? No, no. We're going this is a site. ESPN? No, no. We're going to find a site that, well, they've got clips, and those clips are for sale. The clips are for sale, and that site is called haircut.net. Yay! Haircut.net.

Yay! So, page 22 there in the document, we got some clips for sale from haircut.net. I'm going to start us off here. And smooth and sexy Zoe's transformation to ball beauty. Shorn on the hottest day of the year, beautiful young Zoe wants to cut her long hair because it's too hot for long hair! Zoe's been thinking about cutting her hair for a while, and when she saw our ad, she jumped at the chance to make some money

and get her haircut super short. She hasn't had a short haircut since middle school, and she's getting the seven-year itch. Don't do that math. She found our ad on Monday and on Tuesday she received the ultimate haircut smooth shaved

head as a baby behind. Please support our efforts and join the subscription site. You can watch over 1,900 videos anytime on demand 24-7-365 the idea of a website. It's just like, no, no, we're not closed on Sunday.

For just the price of a cup of coffee, you can see these young women's heads being shaved. Just pennies a day. The cost is $33 a month. Of course. So, Jimmy Franks, you got a rip from the headline story, right? Guilty of Russian collusion. Well, yeah, but... Oh, no.

Anastasia was born in Russia and came to America when she was three years old. She speaks Russian perfectly, but has no Russian accent when speaking English. Is she a Russian spy? No, we can pretty much guarantee that she's 100% capitalist. Well, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's not a Russian spy, though. You understand that Russia's not a communist country anymore, right? But still, still. Oh, but still.

Still, if this is Russian collusion, we're guilty and would definitely do it again. Okay. Anastasia. I mean, but the FBI wants to talk to you now. No, that won't hold up in court. It's okay. He did it, like, with a whispery voice. It's fine.

Okay, fair enough. No, that's good enough. Mitch McConnell will defend you. Anastasia could easily be Miss USA. She surprised us on the hottest day of the year, asking for the ultimate haircut! A smoothly shaved head! Holy sneakies!

I'm so glad the Americans got cancelled. It was already 4pm when Anastasia called me and said she wanted to come right over for a haircut. Okay, I said, and started getting the studio ready. To make a long. Okay, I said, and started getting the studio ready. To make a long story short, Anastasia arrived six hours later, slightly after the grand

finale of the fireworks display. You all know I have no problem working all night, and after all the apologies, I assured Anastasia it wasn't a problem, and we worked till midnight with Anastasia merging as another early candidate for Miss Bald USA. Yeah, stop talking about how pretty she is. I'm turned on by lateness. Yeah. Procrastination dot net.

Is Anastasia the best bald chick ever? She's got my vote, and I'm guessing she will win a lot of votes from our community. Anastasia's hair is long, silky, panteen hair, and it's all coming off tonight. Yeah! I mean, okay, okay, okay. Anastasia's running around today with her cool new smooth haircut after a late-night clipper fight with the big block Chevy BBC clippers that left her bald and beautiful.

She loves her new haircut and can't wait to show off her new... Did you put a Chevy engine in your clippers? Are your clippers running on diesel? Oh, Anastasia. You know, there's some controversy over whether or not she's the real Serena of the old Soros Russia. It's worth mentioning, by the way, that haircut.net, obviously a place without an SSL certificate, but it's also not a place with subpages. Haircut.net is just one giant page.

It just goes on forever. Come on, baby. One stop shopping. What the hell is your problem? Screenshots of people being shamed. I came, I jerked, I left. Also, it seems that the director of these films calls himself Ralph Cramden. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not calls himself, was born as. Well, okay. One of these calls himself, was born as. Well, okay. One of these days, Alice to the barber. So, Bunny Bread. Yeah. I got a question for you. Oh, good.

Is Catwoman ready for a haircut? Fuck everything. God damn it. Just put a link somewhere and then I'll click it. I can't. And then I'll feel bad. No, it's page 23.

Page 23. I just want to know if Catwoman is ready for a haircut. Yeah. No, I, well, I mean, my inclination says no, but, uh...

Hello. Hello. My name is something no no no i'm clicking oh okay well hey there my name is ralph uh fucking cramden all right wow wow wow that's a perfect jackie yeah no no no absolutely shut up absolutely you don't know. You don't know. Bang, shit, right to the fucking moon. Fucking God damn. Funny, but I'm going to have to pause the podcast briefly to put a picture of you onto pretend.world because you are now officially a celebrity impersonator. Yeah. Pretend.world, by the way, the newest Lemon website.

Oh, no. A game of celebrity impersonators. One of two two I believe well no the next one's coming in a week alright alright alright this is your boy Ralph Cramden what's up guys okay

how you doing out there hey shut the fuck up this is my thing is Catwoman ready for a haircut ha question mark where's Batman when we need him huh okay now showing on this here sub site all right fucking assholes okay cat woman huh the name itself inspires bonus batman's longtime nemesis she's right there ready for a fucking haircut. She has an amazing moon

of thick, long hair and is ready for a perfectly shaved head. Did you see what I did there? Dickery duck. Yeah. I wear weightlifting gloves wherever. It don't matter.

Okay. Cat fucking woman claims she used to be bad. But now she wants to be good. And wants to make amends with Batman. Okay. So anyways, Batman aforementioned. Please give us a fucking call. So we can put you in touch with the cat woman.

Now fucking showing on the fucking site. All right. Good night. Fuck yours. Okay. You know. Don't interrupt, nutshell. I just want to point out that that was about 15 seconds a copy.

I just want to point out that that was about 15 seconds a copy. He somehow managed to milk two days worth of performance out of. We are all wiser for it. It's the journey, not the destination. Damn right. Thank you. Somebody gets it. Thank you, Jimmy.

We are coming down to the end here. There's some crossover hair-cutting clown fetish that we're just going to skip past. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Jimmy Franks. That's premium content. That's behind the paywall stuff. It's a DVD box set, and I'll just ship it to you if that'll make you feel better. set and I'll just ship it to you. That'll make you feel better.

But we're going to instead move on to Ponytails, which is hair cutting fetish. So Boots, I know that you were looking here at the hair cutting fiction on Ponytails. Did you have a specific story that you were

feeling was the stronger one? I like the incomprehensible sort of colorized script nature of Nina's rough afternoon. Sounds good. Fantastic. Okay, Jimmy Franks, if you'll lead us in, please. Nina is hungry. She follows a sign that says, Long hair meeting to a group of

women with really long hair. A portal opens in the sky and monsters come through. Alice looked puzzled and peeked over the edge. The eldest of the three Ren Faire ladies approached the creatures confidently. Hello, lovely otherworlder, she said, holding out her hand. We welcome you in peace and invite you to break bread with us. One of the masks turned to her face. Its long hair reached up to her hand, holding it for a moment. Welcome!

The woman repeated, nodding. Then the lock reached for the woman's hair. You like my long hair? You have beautiful hair as well, friend. Huzzah! Then, like lightning, the creature's appendage held the woman's hair out straight, while about a dozen other indigo locks snapped toward her, each one snipping away at her hair.

What? Ah! The woman shouted, realizing she was being shorn bald. As the last of her hair was severed, she collapsed to the ground, holding her bald head as if in pain. No! She wailed. The creature then brought the woman's shorn hair to its mouth and quickly ingested the mask. Its eyes flashed as it did so.

Agatha! What did you say to it? One of the woman's companions shouted to her. One of the woman's companions shouted to her. Okay. Two other masks turned to the two ladies and darted after them, while the fourth mask turned to the sound of the shrieking tweens and rushed after them. Pause now for classroom discussion. Tinkerbell makes the sound turn the page. The masks had scooped up

both of the older woman and shorn them both bald. They joined Agatha, crumpled on the ground, wailing in terror as they held their newly balded pates. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Alice started freaking out as she slid back down beside the table. Those creatures took off every last bit of hair from those women. Oh, yeah. Are we going to skip forward a little bit? Yep. The other three masks drew close, surrounding Nina.

So, that's who it's going to be. Four against one. The first mask made its move. Must stop moose and squirrel. I am from Pennsylvania. I don't know if you've heard of it. It is far off land where we speak the English. Oh, you must be Amish.

There's an Amish accent. Is indeed what I say. Yes, you think things that are correct. Anyways, your funerals. Nina vaulted up into the air, spinning away from lock after lock, as the creature's indigo mane lashed out at her again and again. Nina's eyes flashed with rage. Her hands changed shape.

Snick, snick. Let's skip forward a little bit. This is hard to follow. Yeah. My boner's confused. Can you take She Dove? She dove to Alice and held herself above her, protectively for a moment,

on her hands and knees, and felt something peculiar running up her neck. With a shock, she realized that the mask was shearing off her own pink hair from the nape up. She roared in indignity and rolled away from the impromptu

undershave, slicing off the tresses of the mask before they could shear off any more of her own hair. She felt the back of her head. Nothing but bristly brush remained from her neck to her... Almost to her occipital? Occipital?

Occipital lobe, yeah, yeah. Okay. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She shrugged. Actually, I don't hate it. She turned to the mask and raged. But no one touches my hair.

Right, but I'm a mask, so... Shut up! Okay. She formed her hands into whirling blades and dove after the creature. The mask threw its locks up to protect itself. Nina sliced through them with ease, growing more and more powerful as she snipped away at its hair appendages. Sneep, sneep, sneep.

Oh, what the hell? Sneep. That's really good foley. Sneep. She became a blur, and the mask howled in pain and fear. I'm becoming a blur. The mask howled in pain and fear. Purple hair fell in torrents, and within moments, the once massive creature was shorn fully.

The mask fell lifelessly to the ground, shattering on impact. Okay, I just want to make sure. Everyone else is picturing Vega from Street Fighter 2, right? Yeah. Okay, okay. I am now. Okay. The other three masks looked at one another and fled back through the rift. Nina smirked. Good. Run now.

I'm full. But you'll make great meals for me to hunt down when I do eventually grow hungry again. The end of barely a story. There are sound effects. That is story, no? Onomatopoeia. The story. There are sound effects. That is story, no? Anamatapir, the story. Oh my god. All right, all right.

Let's do one more here. Let's do one more story. I think this one is, is this also from DeviantArt? Yes, it certainly is. This is from Echoed Soul over at DeviantArt, posted on February of 2018.

Some DC Comics stuff here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Jimmy Franks, if you'll take the narrator there. Okay. This is, what do we got? The magician and the songbird. Okay, yes, yes. This is, yes.

So, then, so, Boots, you got Shira. Yeah. And, Nutshell,'ve got Shiera. Yeah. And Nutshell, you are Canary. Okay. Yes. Everyone is everyone. This is Echoed Soul with the Magician and the Songbird. The door to the bathroom in the mirror opens up and Diana Prince and Shiera Hall enter.

Diana's head is clearly missing her trademark ebony locks, and only faint fuzz sits upon her head, and she is naked from the waist down. Chayera. So standard. I mean, that's what I wear to church. She's dressed like Porky Pig. I also like that. Yeah, she's dressed like Porky Pig,

but you start off with the hair shit. Oh, incidentally. You know, I've been into that. Sure, pub Oh, incidentally. Buried the lead. The hatcher pubes in the bed. Buried the lead there, echoed Sol. The downside of Wonder Woman's spin transformation move is that sometimes the centripetal force knocks her underwear off. Oh, shit.

It's like one of those swimsuit dryers. Shaiyara then appears carrying a plastic department store bag. Holy shit. Canary gasps. Diana looks really good with a buzz cut. Yeah. Sit down, the princess. The girls hear Shaira command.

Diana follows the order and places herself on the toilet seat. Out of the bag, Shaira removes a can of shaving cream and a packet of razors. She begins filling the sink with warm water and places a towel in the small pool for a few moments before gently wrapping her friend's head with it. This is to help expand your pores, being what you do to milk. It makes it easier to cleanly remove your remaining hairs. It makes it easier to cleanly remove your remaining hairs. I gotta say, seeing gonzo porn written out, like, at the point that you're going to write a story,

I would assume that you would put a plot in there, but it's like, open, scene, pointless interview, then a girl gets fucked. Oh, and then also, like, the porn quality, like, set costume for Hawkgirl must be great. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She waits a few moments, removes the wet towel, takes the cream, sprays two quarter-sized dollops on Diana's head, and gently runs her hands through the foam and fuzz covering the princess's head

with a nice white cap. Also the thick glasses that don't have lenses in them. Oh, is Cheryl Hall the – is that Hot Girl? That's Hot Girl, yeah. Oh, is Shira Hall the... Is that Hawkgirl? That's Hawkgirl, yeah. Oh, okay. Now for the final step. The winged alien says smiling. The razor is whipped out of its packaging and descends

onto Diana's head. Slowly, Shira runs the razor across her scalp back to front. Checking every path to make sure of optimal smoothness. The razor rasps beautifully as the two women share the tender moment slowly diana's hands wander down to her crotch dina mimics the motion back in zatanna's bathroom and both women begin playing with themselves their speed increasing with every pass of the razor's blade. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!! Oh! Oh!!!! I'm a little bit to the game, the game is a little bit to the game. I'm a little bit to the game. guys no no no you got it wrong wait no he didn't okay yes yes yes yes they scream as the razor finishes the shave. Glad to see you liked it, Diana. I am going back to the living room and let you get cleaned up. Quit ripping off my accents, Boots.

Shiera winks as she closes the bathroom door. Finn. What did we learn from any of this? I'm not going to heaven. It depends. It depends on who's heaven, really. It wasn't all the shit I've done to women throughout the years. It was this.

This evening, and also the previous ten or so years that I've been doing this shit. Just being a sideline participant in this fucking god almighty god almighty if i was god i would just you know punch me in the face yeah hello uh uh super cuts i got a two for one coupon but i was wondering if i could use it on myself. Like, get one on top and one down below. Is that a... Oh, boy. You know, we have an after hours special.

Super cuts after dark. I feel like I'm one step closer to understanding the meaning of that pavement song. You were waiting on that one for a while weren't you yeah ever since we picked this shit you're praying like oh hang on now i got a little something in my back pocket as someone with a short haircut i'm a little bit worried well you're definitely safe yeah what the fuck do you care they're going after you baby jesus i mean yeah from from haircuts it was haircut or haircuts.net um haircut.net um there's definitely uh and it feels like this was pretty consistent is um uh long hair

to uh very short hair was the thing um in fact as you scroll through this document of i don't know hundreds of women getting uh getting these hair, they're all starting off with long hair. So that's definitely a thing. Yeah, perhaps there's a thing on the internet. The confidence in your statement is overwhelming. I think their penises are involved, perhaps. I think their penises are involved, perhaps? Yeah.

I gotta say, I really, really genuinely, like, one of the things that I did really enjoy, like, listening to was all of this pre-internet shit. Yeah. Where all of these weirdos were like, yeah, you know, I had this, like, thing, and it really wasn't that big of a deal because, like, you didn't really have access to it, so, like, whatever. And then the internet came, and, and well my life's objectively worse uh and uh how about the rest of y'all anyway yeah it is weird how it's just been like some and this is the great awakening it was like oh gosh time to run you know brand this razor blade down the street yeah because of course they knew i mean all of those guys i mean because it was a it seemed like it was a pretty old community in general right um which i don't know why that happens i don't know but yeah so it seemed like it was pretty old community and they were like into this thing that they probably had a pretty good reign on uh until this thing happened uh

and now uh presumably it consumes them. Yeah. Well, I mean, what must it feel like to jerk to, like, the same five YouTube videos? Because there still can't be that much shit out there. Well, I guess we... Well, again, if you go to haircut.net, you scroll through this. Okay, okay. All right, anyways, let's get to reader intros. Listen, listen, listen. Bunny Bread, as somebody who

was a you know is still a fan of punk rock you know there's something very cool about just like not being in the mainstream yeah

yeah like finding your fetish before it becomes passe you know fuck that fetish I was into that fetish years ago

no I'm past that shit now I'm into whatever the opposite of whatever you're trying to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just trying to build a community.

Website is always thefpl.us and that's a place you can go. Where else can you go, Boots? There's a bunch of websites. Thanks, Boots. Thanks a lot, Boots.

A-H-O-Y-L-E-M-O-N that's Ahoy Lemon Pretend World is up there. that's a fun game you can play um and other ones as well bye sitting on my head Man, I'd rather be bald I'd rather be dead Shave the whales!