The F Plus - 288: The Rites of Price

Episode Date: September 11, 2018

Let's not complicate matters: There are magickal items for sale on Etsy. This episode involves us reading about those items. We square? Great. Now, enjoy our new game show. This week, The F Plus doesn't give any sharp items to Contestant Number One.

I'll show you magic, what, what, magic, uh-huh, uh-huh, I got the magic stick. I believe that's pronounced McGick. Well, hi there, magical travelers. This is the F Plus Podcast. A terrible place, there's terrible things, but they're red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Rangir. These protective chain link bracelets have been cleansed and blessed for protection against evil, negativity, and witchcraft? Jimmy Franks!

Use coupon code Broomstick for free shipping. Frank West! You can add a little of your urine, as urine is used to control. It's optional. Squiddy! The dream catcher was made in the Amazon of Peru.

During my spiritual journeys, I collect items in high-energy, unique places. And Lemon. This is the story of a few brave souls, willing to risk it all, their jobs, their spouses, their very lives, to make awesome stuff to put in your butthole. Dun-dun. The butthole is divided into two categories. Oh, hi, F+. Hi, Lemon.

Where did you come from? What are you doing in my house? He just popped out like that. We all jumped into the same room at the same time. We were doing a poorly staged comedy. We all missed our mark simultaneously. Audio slapstick. Yeah, exactly. Hey, F uh do you consider yourselves makers no uh i'm a maker and a shaker and a buddy breaker more of a taker yeah more of a taker now tell me about that frank west um undertaker i i don't know where this joke's going, folks. It was an apostrophe.

Excellent. Yeah, so I don't know if any of you all have heard of a site called Etsy. Tell me more. What is Etsy? Definitely a very obscure site. No, ST is an online marketplace where makers can sell you, like, knockoff Bob's Burgers Louise Belcher hats. And I know because I bought one. As well as, I don't know, other things. Oh, you know what they do have?

And there is a ball pit thread on this. They do have a whole bunch of bespoke butt plugs. bespoke butt plugs um so if you want a butt plug that is also a compass um or a basketball hoop or horrifyingly uh a popsicle uh etsy is the place to go for that i do tend to get lost in there and i often want some snacks exactly where do you get lost in the butt i like i like the one that there's there's one that they sell that's a butt plug with like a bright light on the back of it, which is good because I always lose somebody's ass. It's dark in there. You're just trying to figure it out.

Anyway. Where's your asshole again? Alright, alright. Anyway, anyway. Separate from all of that, I want to talk about this document I have right here in front of me. This is a document given to us by Kanye Sutra, and it is about McGiggle Etsy. The full us by Kanye Sutra, and it is about McGickle Etsy. The full title that Kanye Sutra gave here is McGickle Etsy, my racist artisanal floor waxes are too strong for you, traveler.

And just a note, if you're an F plus recent listener and you're not familiar, McGick is the way that we pronounce it when McGick is spelled with a K. So if you're curious, McGick is the way that you pronounce it. If it's M-A-G-I-C-K. But anyway, we're going to go through some McGickle products here. And we're going to start off with, with Anita Apothecary Shop.

That's run by Marie who's from Vancouver, Washington. And she is the chemical element roller derby. I was just in the lab doing some R&D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Researching. No, roller derby. Summoned a roller derby elemental. And so, Squiddy, your name is Marie, and can you welcome me to your shop here?

Why, yes. I would love to welcome you. Where? What? So, hello and welcome. Hello and welcome to Anita Ap uh, hello and welcome. Hello and welcome to Anita Apothecary Shop. I'm so happy that you found an Etsy and I hope you enjoy browsing our creations.

We are located in the beautiful Pacific Northwest in Vancouver, Washington. While I have been creating for years and years, we finally launched our Etsy shop in March of 2016. Okay. You've now done this twice. I am so happy. We are located. I have been created. We launched our Etsy shop. Are you a multiple

sister? No, I'm the mother to the most amazing little girl, Anita, and a traditional witch who loves making potions, brews, oils, loose teas, candles, jewelry, and other concoctions. Your mother to a witch? No, it's a mother to a little girl and a witch. I'm sorry, I didn't

slow down enough for that comma. My bad. No, that's the thing. English language is vague enough and poorly managed enough that it could mean that she's also a mother to a witch. I make and handle everything myself. Oh, good.

While Anita watches carefully, including the packaging and shipping. Hmm. Everything is made from natural and organic materials as much as possible. Many herbs... Everything as much as possible. Okay. Many herbs I grow myself to

ensure the most potency, including echinacea, yarrow, rosemary, sage, lavender, thyme, calendula, mugwort, majorum, roses, currants, elderberries, St. John's wort, and various flowers, and much more. All my oils and potions are cleansed and concentrated

before use, and I prepare and bottle under moonlight. Blah! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Blah! So there's a decent chance I got it wrong. Add your intent and believe in the McGeck.

Oh, wonderful, wonderful. Okay, so let's get into some of these products. Boots, I want to start off here with Witch's Protection Oil, Tilda Ritual Oil, comma Witch Protection, comma McGick, comma Halter Tools, comma Kitchen Witch. Tilda's are so pretty. Comma Hedge Witch, comma Pagan, comma Witch Oils, comma Moon Oil. You've stolen most of my copy. Oh, wait, there's a more button.

There sure is. There sure is Witches Protection Oil This ritual oil is formulated with herbs, resins and crystals to protect yourself, your home

and McGick Amethyst and smoky quartz crystals are in each bottle. Powdered dragon's blood resin gives this oil a beautiful earthy red hue. Black

salt, pepper, frankincense, and rosemary are some ingredients. Yeah. I guess. I guess that's what's in it. I don't fucking know. Anyway Yeah. I guess. I guess that's what's in it. I don't fucking know. Anyway. Heroes, take a guess.

Here are some uses for your witch's protection oil. Anoint your altar tools. Drop the oil around your home. The four corners, around doors and windows to keep out negative spirits and energies. I hope she's using a lot of that tonight. Add to a ritual bath before spiritual work. What's spiritual work in the bath? Honey, are you doing laundry tonight? I got spiritual work in the bath? Honey, are you going to do the laundry tonight?

I got spiritual work in the bath to do. I'm overloaded with spiritual work. Where's my special Etsy butt plug? It's in the box with the other ones. And lastly, you could use it as a candle dressing. Oh. Be careful when using ritual oils, as they can stain fabric. Also, keep out of reach of children and pets.

Store them in a dark place to prolong their shelf life. A dark place? Why? Why? Why? Yeah. So this costs $20.16. Cool. Canadian.

Okay. Okay. It's converted. Yeah. It costs whatever. I don't know. What does it cost for you guys? $14.95.

$14.99. It costs 11 pounds for me. Good job. I'm not sure why. How's the VPN going over there? No, Google has identified

Frank West as a pervert, therefore it just assumes that he's British. Wow. Yeah, America actually has a restraining order against me so um yeah so that's 20 and 16 cents canadian for one ounce boston dropper bottle wow awesome or a one-third ounce roll-on bottle please convo me if you have further questions Hey Jimmy

Hey Jimmy Franks I think she has five pictures of the same fucking bottle Yeah yeah yeah Hey Jimmy Franks My floors are dirty and I need to wash my floor but obviously I want it to be McGick when I wash my floor

Tired of your floor not being McGickle enough? There's gotta be a better way. Well, check this shit out. Okay. Which is McGickle floor wash. Floor washes have been used for spiritual purposes since ancient times.

Floor washes can be made to carry an intention the witch chooses. For this wash, I've chosen cleaning, purifying, and protective properties. What? Whoa. Whoa. protective properties of the crystals, along with essential oils of sage, lavender, frankincense, and Florida water. What? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What? Does that mean it's all, like, hopped up on bath salts?

Yeah, it's got trace amounts of meth and horse tranquilizers. Apparently Florida water is a perfume. I've seen the water around the Florida coast. It's not what I would call clean. But is it what you'd call McGickle? Oh, well, maybe. According to Sarah Ann Lawless, cleaning house wasn't always just physical.

In pre-Christian times, cleaning was also thought to be McGickle as it removed evil spirits that could cause bad luck or illness. If you say so, I doubt there's like canonical text on that. Today, McGickle floor washes are a common part of spiritual cleansing and are found in modern hoodoo and root work and folk magic as a regular practice.

It's best to spiritually cleanse your home once a month by washing the floors and walls with a McGickle solution of herbs and a small amount of floor wash can also be added to your regular cleaning products for every time you clean. And clean and clean and clean. The best times to use a floor washer during the full or new moon and before and after intense sabbat and esbat

rituals. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. I gotta say, by the way, I really, really do like people that don't think hoodoo is an insult. Yeah, you know, it's hoodoo. Money, please. Just one note, one disclaimer. Do not consume the floor

wash. What's the thing underneath that one? Oh, Anita Apothecary is not responsible for the misuse of this product. Sold as a curio, only as required by law and ed. Sold as a curio. Only as required by law and ed. Sold as a curio! Frank West, your name's Jennifer M.

right there in the reviews. You gave a five-star review. What'd you think? Wonderful seller. Thank you all. Which is magical floor wash. He fell through that portal into another dimension. Hey, Frank West.

I clean too hard. Hey, Frank West, right there in the reviews there, you see how there's some reviews? You got the one by Jennifer M. If you click more, you can see more reviews. And there is another review by Jennifer M. Would you read the second review by Jennifer M.? Yes, of course. I'd love to. Okay, thank you. Wonderful seller. Recommend. Thank you.

Ah! So, Jennifer M.'s avatar is a picture of a building, and I wonder if that's the sound of her falling off it. Krister Gassib says, I love the smell of this floor wash. My house feels so good each time I use it. What does that mean? Feels so good. You know what I mean. Oh, okay, cool. time i use it feels so good you know what i mean oh okay cool uh frank west um this is uh a candle um i think i think i don't know i think it's a candle um but anyway will you tell me about it's

called salem a tribute to the witches of salem village and And can you please read the label there on the candle? Oh, yeah. The label says, Salem in remembrance of our witch ancestors of Salem Village, 1692. You are not forgotten. Yes. Huh.

This candle is very long in the making and special to me. I handcrafted it to honor the remembrance of the tragic salem witch trials of 1692 where our ancestors were slaughtered out of fear black heart i can't pronounce that one i don't know oh wow wow that one broke Frank West. Yeah, it's heart but black? It is a memorial candle and symbolizes red roses for the lives lost and blood shed, garnet crystals for their passion, conviction, and strength, and tiger's eye for their courage. So the thing that symbolizes red roses is not red. Okay.

No. Please remember them, honor them. They are our ancestors, our mothers, and our sisters to the craft. Each candle is 12.25 ounces and a heavy glass jar. It will come right for you. Please come with me if you

have any questions. And, uh, the last thing, the very last thing you have to say never leave your candle unattended or near children's or pets use caution when lighting candles and extinguish them properly heed my warnings traveler okay I love generic candle disclaimer

that's cool. We're going to move on. That was Anita Apothecary Shop, but we're going to move on to Papa G's Emporium of Practical Folk Magic. Yeah, that's me. I'm Papa G. Hey, Papa G. I'm Papa G from Nashville, Tennessee. What's the name of your business again?

Oh, Papa G's Emporium of Practical Folk Magic. Practical. It sounds like a place that also sells kettle corn. I look like a guy that sells kettle corn. They call me Papa G because when I talk to people, they say, oh, gee, that's nice. So I'm Papa G from Nashville, Tennessee. So I'm Papa G from Nashville, Tennessee. Conjure Shop, which is now my other name, is a place where I can add my own flair of practical magic to the things I create.

I have been a certified clinical aromatherapist since 2005. And I am a member of AIR, or the Association of Independent Readers and Root Workers. of independent readers and root workers. And a frequent guest on the Lucky Mojo Who Do Root Work How Our Show on Blog Talk Radio. Ah, right? Right? So my reputation does precede me. I have been making natural soaps, lotions, bath oils, and other natural products since 1999. I read the tarot and Lenormand cards,

create custom mojo bags for clients, and take on root work causes under my white mojo site name. You can also find me at conjureshop.com, which I'm guessing is just a redirect to Etsy. No, it's a retirement account. Probably not. I wonder if that's within Etsy's rules, if that's okay.

What? To send someone to an outside link. Oh, that's a good point. It's not okay on eBay. It's very much against the rules. This is Etsy underground. We don't care about the rules, man. Oh, this is the dark web that I heard about.

Well, I'm calling the Etsy police. We're all on Etsy.onion. Yeah, click this onion skin. At the heart of what I do, I'm a potion maker, a creator of concoctions, an artisan. When I talk about folk magic or root work, I mean my brand of folk magic and root work. I mean, my brand of folk magic and root work. Part Appalachian, part African-American tradition, part European witchcraft. M-Dash, a magical recipe that consists of a base of my deep-rooted Kentucky heritage.

Stirred with everything I have learned from people and books. Pepper with hands-on practice and salt with my own intuition. Use coupon code THANKYOU you to save 20 on your order um so uh so there's uh okay so uh there's uh there's three different things that we can read uh here oh boy for just right off the top it's all bad sorry okay so there's uh there's there's there's a couple things that we can read here Squiddy I'm going to give you the choice oh great you can read about

well we already did a floor wash we don't need to do that so you can read about the come to me oil scent or the Jesus the king oil scent do you think there's ever like a sliding door situation where where multiple dimensions open up based on choices? Have we talked about this?

I'm pretty sure you die in both situations. Okay. Alright, better read me the options again. Let's go with the second one. Alright, you're going to get the Jesus the King oil scent. The Jesus the King oil scent. That is, boy, you did not spend much time on that image.

Nor did you, nor do you have a good printer. Like, maybe you should have zoomed out that photo, dog. That does not look good. Anyway, tell me about the Jesus the King oil scent. It's only $8. That's a bargain. Using many of the biblical oils, Jesus the King oil scent can be used to anoint rosaries and other religious items in statuary. Contains frankincense, myrrh, sandalwood, galvanum, and other herbs and essential oils in a base of fractionated coconut oil. Most of the essential oils and herb blends used in our products are based on historical references. Vintage formulas.

Yeah. Jesus was super into coconuts. Vintage formulas. There's that old fable where he had one coconut and turned it into many. Yeah. Yeah, you know, the coconuts of Israel. I believe that he wore sandals. I got sandalwood.

I'm just freestyling here. Vintage formulas accepted aromatherapy values or herbal uses associated with their given names. I don't know what that means. Many are formulated and named after curio products that were found in old pharmacies across the South that catered to customers who are known to be practitioners of hoodoo, conjure, and other folklore traditions. Yeah. After the oils are made, they are cleansed and labeled.

The oils are cleansed? Okay. Then taken into our chapel. Ha! Okay. Don't know what happens there. That seems like a religious scandal right there. Man, why don't you

want to come to Papa G's chapel? Before being shipped to you, or taken to our retail store. Used for anointing candles, in oil burners, in bath water, for anointing candles, in oil burners, in bath water, for anointing ritual objects. And there's another link to his outside

shop. Yeah, except for not a link this time. Jimmy Franks, what does a G-Jack have to say about this? Yeah, this is a G-Jack. I am not Christian or into any Abrahamic religion. However, I do appreciate the mysticism of Jesus, especially in hoodoo.

He's got his fedora pulled down over his eyes. He is like a friend, brother, mystic to me. This is powerful oil. I would doff my cap to him if I was legally allowed to remove it. Jesus. Boots, I know that a little bit earlier in the episode

you were saying that you were interested in Florida water and learning a little bit more about Florida water. Well, that's fantastic because Papa G here It's the Florida man of waters. Please. I think that's an endorsement. That's how Florida Man gets his powers, is he takes his swing of Florida Water.

Yeah, I got it. I'm Papa G. Papa G, yep. I'm Papa G. I got a thing here. It's called Florida Water. Whooo, Witchcraft, Pagan. I don't know. Yeah, sure. Fuck it. Yeah, so Florida Water is a well-known item.

It's been sold in pharmacies that cater to the Hoodoo community. In the 19th century, Florida Water was was it is still made uh cologne actually the the weaker toilet water and was crafted from mainly floral and citrus oils and a perfume base we've recreated florida water based loosely on using the traditional citrus oils mixed with lavender contains essential oils of lavender tangerangerine, sweet orange, lemon, and clove in a base of perfumer's alcohol. So clean and bright. We also make a Florida water soap.

Okay. So it's just, I mean, you're saying it's perfume, right? Yeah. Like it's just perfume with a weird name? Yeah. Okay. All right. Cool. Cool. cool great yeah i know i know more but my florida water is fucking yellow sure is it it sure is it kind of looks like a bottle of corona that somebody just like poured some oil into uh discharge yeah we're gonna move on to we're gonna move on to a new a new shop

and uh this is the shop of uh the dark moon merchant um uh so that so now we're going to daytona beach florida oh yeah where where the good magic comes from. Frank West, will you tell me about Dark Moon Merchant, please? We get Florida Sludge. My shop carries Satanism and witchcraft items that you can use for... Oh, that's... Sorry, sorry. I didn't realize this was a female. Let me use my woman voice. Okay.

My shop carries Satanism and witchcraft items that you can use for ritual or magic. Right now I'm stocking spell candles, jewelry, and my handsome Baphomet candle. Coming soon in the next few months, special incenses and oils for ritual, satanic banners, and other items for your sacred satanic space created by venus satan satan now i understand why you have so many restraining orders uh okay so uh so let's see here man these are uh these are all pretty good um i think i think i think frank, just go right from here to the five spell candles. I know that this is an audio

podcast, and I know this is an audio podcast, and as such, you are not seeing the same picture that we're looking at at this exact moment, but the product that you're buying here is five birthday candles. They look like crayons.

They're so fucking crayola. It's five birthday candles with a Baphomet symbol on the label. Get five elemental spell candles in this pack. Each one is about four inches long and burns in about two hours. A color for any kind of spell work that you want to cast. Brought to you by Darkmoon Merchant. Oh, thanks, Darkmoon. These are just like Hanukkah candles, repackaged.

Yes, but they're satanic! Uh, yellow, air, communication, travel, influence. Black, earth, the void, stability and grounding, destruction. Red, fire, action, desire, lust and creation. Okay. Blue, water, learning, spirituality, idealism, and achieving goals. Green,

earth again, wealth, increase, accumulation, and security. Yeah, I'm Dr. Strange, love. Okay. I got a review of this package of candles here that I spent $7.95 Canadian on. This candle's perfect for my midnight McGick rituals before I go to bed.

I'm not a Satanist, though. I actually belong to Thelema OTO. But the Baphomet candle fits perfectly. Is OTO an acronym? Is it an emoji? Do I have a fucked up nose? Ordo Templi Orientis. So it seems like it's sort of like a Shriners kind of thing.

It does kind of look like a guy holding up binoculars. Yeah, like I'm looking at it and it's sort of like a... It seems like a secret society. Oh, it's Alistair Crowley's thing. Oh. Well, wait, then you're a Satanist. Alistair, okay, fine, whatever. I'm not a Satanist, but, you know, Alistair Crowley is shit. Exactly. It fits perfect

regards to my occult belief system. Beautiful flame. Almost like all this shit is mushy garbage. Oh, sorry, I was reviewing a different candle i'm theresa and i'll review the yellow ritual chime candles thank you fabulous little spell candles that burn quickly and cleanly they aren't too skinny or flimsy and produce a strong flame. They feel fabulous in your hands, and I'm in absolute love with them. Their packaging

is so beautiful and thoughtful. It really super isn't. It's not. Every aspect of this product is well thought out. Oh, no. I mean, it's in a plastic bag. You got that going for you. I will definitely be ordering these again.

Well, thanks, plant. Oh, man. Wow, there's all sorts of just really sexy satanic candles here. But I want to talk to you about the spiritual satanist prayer book hyphen satanism and satanic it's both satanism and satanic uh live mindfully through satanism spiritual satanist prayer book infernal reflections is a book of satanic prayers poetry and artwork for spiritual and religious satanists the spiritual satanist prayer book takes you on a spiritual journey through satan's realm with prayers poetry and infernally inspired

artwork i've never heard that term that's really good infernally inspired i like it i like it a lot use this pocket-sized book to live through Satanism mindfully with useful prayer, spiritual insights, histories of your favorite Satanic deities, and classical Satanic poetry. Yay! Oh, now I'm interested. Nine bucks. Let's get this shit. the spiritual satanist prayer book will help you learn how to use prayer as a tool for living your satanic life every day the book was authored by venus satanist as a satanist for over 25 years

she brings her knowledge and wisdom of the satanic path for you in this pocket-sized prayer book when you order directly from the author you you know, as opposed to Barnes & Noble, you will get a signed edition along with a gift! I got three pictures. The first picture is my book, and then there's like a little satanic pentagram there. The second is the back cover,

and there's a little evil Satan on the back. And then there's the third picture, which is me holding the book on a shitload of Percodan. You know, I just feel like that picture of her holding the book is just her wishing you the best of luck in living your best

Satanic life. What are the tenets of Satanism? I think she's staring at my tits. Namaste, Jimmy Franks. The tenets of Satanism are... Well, someone DM me and tell me, okay? It's, well, actually... Okay.

Just before we move on, I just want to say that she does combine shipping with multiple orders. Well, of course she does. She has a lot of cute earrings. I'm on it. Her goal is to provide you with quality products that you will be proud to use and display

on your own satanic altar. On my satanic altar? Yeah, Etsy actually it's not your fault, but it's actually just post reviews of just like anything by this particular person. No, it's your fault. It is your fault still, but like I guess I haven't used this site very much.

Really? It's weird. No, I really haven't. I'm not a lady. I don't think that has anything to do with it. No, you're right. You're right. It's gender balanced, this site, Etsy. Well, now, Lemon, if it wasn't you, then who's been buying up all of my folk art worry dolls

made out of my own body hair? Who's been buying up all of my folk art worry dolls made out of my own body hair? Frank West! You've got that restraining order against you. What else do you want to do? They can't restrain me from all of your body. We're going to move on to another store. We're going to get a little bit back into another religion. We're just jumping around

religions. This is fun, Kanye Sutra. I like jumping around to different religions. This is Isis Egyptian alchemy. Yeah, so Isis Egyptian alchemy. Jimmy Frank, so Isis, Egyptian alchemy. Jimmy Frank, why don't you tell me about that, please? Tell me about the shop owner of Isis, Egyptian alchemy.

Oh, okay. I lead group spiritual journeys through Egypt yearly. I also lived in Egypt, so I'm friends with my local vendors. When I travel there, I refill my supply and shop for new items. Wait, wait. No, you don't. No, you don't. You don't go to Egypt, fucking ship it all back with you, and then sell it on Etsy for $50.

I don't believe that. My inventory changes each year. If you see something you like, get it while you can, because often I cannot get the same items again. I VPN to Egypt and purchase on AliExpress. And then there's a picture of her, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine. Imagine.

And that's what she looks like. Yes. I want a, Frank West, I want a crystal wand. Can you give me a crystal wand? It's going to open up my third eye. I would love to give you a third eye. Go.

Never wait. Now I'm rethinking this. Put that down. Frank West, put that down. Put it down. Good. That was close. put it down put it down put it down good Lapis Lazuli that was close yeah you know that's a

you guys usually edit my outbursts from the episode but like I think the audience should know I'm dangerous you have to wrangle me

this Frank West cannot be tamed Lapis Lazuli and clear quartz crystal wand. Third eye opening healing manifesting ceremony. Wands available. One. Okay. There's only one.

They're almost gone. There's only one left. But there's three in the... Never mind. There's only one left. There's only one left. Two there's three in the... Never mind. There's only one left. Yeah, two people have already bought these wands. Right. This wand has

traveled with me to all the powerful sacred in Egypt with me during our spiritual journey. Wait, who did they travel with? With me. Thanks for clarifying.

Infused with the energies of the Great Pyramid, Abu Simbel at the Great Sun Festival, Isis Temple for Isis to channel in her healing, love and manifestation energies, dipped in the Nile River that is the giver of life to Egypt. Red Sea that is known for being parted by Moses. Sahara Desert and taken

to many temples and used in sacred ceremonies in this temples. Oh man. It's a good fucking wand, folks. Lapis lazuli is an ancient stone used in ancient Egypt by all the royal families of pharaohs. Second lap.

Found in many artifacts. I always associate lapis lazuli with goddess Isis of love, healing, and manifesting. But you can associate it with 88 dollars of your own money. There are... wait. These are the last of these types of wands. They are very difficult to get

and I don't anticipate being able to get any more of these fucking cylinders of rock. They're definitely made of plastic. Boy, are they made of plastic. Ancient and powerful plastic. I'm looking at the beads and that's fucking plastic. It's fucking glued on.

You fucking bedazzled this thing. The larger gift is that they have been infused during sacred ceremony of the powerful energies of Egypt's high vibrational locations and have- Oh, wait, hold on. Tell me more. Used vibrators for sale! Tell me more. Use the vibrator. Tell me more about this vibrating wand of yours. I said it opened your third eye. I've infused it myself.

Oh, so the third eye is the button. I got it. Yeah, Street Charlie sounds a lot more interesting now, doesn't it? Jimmy Franks, I don't think you understand what a vibrator is. Yeah, spirituality sounds a lot more interesting now, doesn't it? Jimmy Franks, I don't think you understand what a vibrator is. I don't think you do, Lemmy. And have the ancient spirit of Egypt working with you as you use the tool for healing love, manifesting,

and clearing and upgrading the energies you are dealing with. Definitely a butt plug. It's a very sharp butt plug. Yeah, it's a strange location and angle of the taper. One of the five stars.

Would not plug again. Lapis lazuli wand with the chakra stones lined up in it. The top has a clear quartz mer-kaba? Yeah, maybe. Sure. Which will work on the sacred geometry fields

within and around you. And the other end has a pointed clear quartz to help channel the energy of those healing tool and focus it at whoever you are choosing to work on. Yeah. It's nice that you're a giver. I appreciate that.

You can clear all your chakras with it, but your third eye will hugely benefit as lapis lazuli resonates with the third eye. You can use it to clear your third eye. Why is everybody giggling? God damn it, this is serious. It fills your third eye. Stop giggling! It fills your third eye. Stop giggling! And upgrade your clairvoyance and seeing the unseen.

Clearer visions and strengthen your visualizations for your manifestations. Very powerful to be used during sacred ceremony and healing during ceremonies. This is a prairie-prized Egyptian treasure. Get it while it lasts. Isis Egyptian alchemy can not be held responsible for the guarantee of any outcome of its product. We will not be held liable for any outcomes with use and any products of our services made to assist you with your own

choosing for personal use only. Your purchases from the shop signifies us and is the acceptance of these terms it is at your sole risk and all liability is at least herewith. Do you think a lawyer drafted that? I think a lawyer would have made proper sentences I'm a giggle lawyer

So like so when she says I mean genuinely like when she says like I've infused this and I've infused this with energy what is that do you think she does it do you think she like goes to a temple and like wiggles it around yeah oh definitely okay she had three of these there's there's two of them also in gray right like it's impossible

to tell how big they are but you just imagine going to Egypt and just having like awkwardly carrying a bunch of these wands around with her hold on and the tour bus is trying to get moving I've got to sanctify these I absolutely believe that that would happen

maybe you've never been on a tour bus in Egypt my name is Yes. Maybe you've never been on a tour bus in Egypt. Honestly. My name is Sancira and I want to say five stars. Fabulous seller. Can't say enough good things about her and her products. Very impressed with the service and also

AHHHHH! Is there like a killer haunting the reviews? No, it's the old eBay A plus plus plus I'm an idiot. I thought there was like a really clever

Etsy joke that was running around. It's like the Baba Booey of Etsy. There is a bunch more stuff to read, and I would like to. The document's really good, but there's a game that we need to get to, so I want to make sure that we get to the game. Otherwise, I would be telling you about

this Egyptian woman's Peruvian dream catcher. Oh, let's just do it. No, no, no. No, no. We got stuff to get to. We got stuff to get to, and we've got, before we get to our game,

there is a game. Before we get to our game, there's wands. So, Movement into Grace is the name, and it all started about 25 years ago. From Nashville, Tennessee. I saw this stained glass lamp and fell in love with it. Thus began my journey into my creativity.

I purchased a stained glass book with about six lines of instruction and I ran with it because I was a self-taught artist. I believe that has stood me well as I have come up with many ideas that were before their time. That has stood me well as I have come up with many ideas that were before their time and thus have done quite well for myself when my then young two children. I am thrilled and honored to bring these artistic creations to this earthly plane and to you. I love beauty and I believe in magic. All my life I have had this ability, opportunity, and passion to create aesthetic-pleasing items. I mean, you're not going to see photos, podcast listeners, but just aesthetic-pleasing items of beauty to offer to humanity. How lucky am I?

At this time, I offer a taste of kaleidoscopes and magic wands. Enjoy. You know, as an eBay seller myself, I feel like I need to rewrite my bio. These are real good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think literally just put all of these bios into

Botnik and then just start hitting 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 and just see what happens. So, Boots, there's four different movement into grace items You're going to have to just pick one of them, okay? I'm so sorry, but you've only got one of them to pick Okay, first one is the magic and imitation wand

Okay The second one is the Lemurian crystal dragon skin turquoise gemstone magic wand It might be a knife on one end i'm not sure um there's the uh labra labrador right green adventuring citrine magic wand scepter um and then finally the soulmate magic wand altar misspelled ceremonial love lovers more commas other words fuck all those wands i want a scepter okay here we go so so uh the labrador right green adventuring oh my god you tell me yes i've got a labrador right green adventuring citrine magic wand scepter handle altar tools ceremonial druid wiccan spellcasting divination awesome how big is it uh 14.5 inches. You know, scepter.

14.5 inches. That sure is a scepter. How much? How much is something that's over $49? Honestly, it does actually look intricately made. What is the metal? Is it pewter?

I'm interested in it. It's kind of cool. We'll find out. Metal works, I'm interested in it. It's kind of cool. Maybe we'll find out. Metalworks Silver Solder. Nice. This is a gorgeous wand with powerful gemstones woven together with earthly leaves. Earthly leaves?

Earthly leaves. Not Neptune-ly leaves. Extraterrestrial leaves. Moon leaves. Labrressor leaves. Moon leaves. Labradorite has an amazing flash to it, hinting at opportunities and possibilities. This wand has lovely balancing and elegance. Wand properties. properties magic healing clarity love transformation prosperity promotes psychic abilities strengthens our will stimulates imagination grounding oh yeah yeah yeah

that seems very grounded yeah no i mean like like oh like it'll make you go to your room and not leave like no like if you're if you're holding it you're less likely to be struck by lightning and leadership well i mean you might get struck by lightning but you're more likely to have you're gonna have a neutral charge while you're struck by lightning the scepter in the ground fine a stone of transformation oh i'm back to description again oh that's fun a stone of transformation and magic labradorite is a useful companion through change imparting strength and perseverance it balances and protects the aura, raises consciousness, and grounds spiritual energies. Excellent for strengthening intuition.

Promoting psychic abilities. Powerful in revealing the truth behind illusions. This doesn't work! Listen. Listen. this doesn't work. Listen.

I brought it with me on my last Pathfinder campaign and it went very well. Magic missile. Labradorite banishes fears and insecurities and strengthens faith in the self and trust in the universe. It stimulates the imagination and calms an overactive mind, developing enthusiasm and new ideas. Citrine, abundance on all levels.

Green adventurine, prosperity and leadership. So it does everything. I also make kaleidoscopes. You sure do. Expensive ass kaleidoscopes. You sure do. Expensive ass kaleidoscopes. Yeah, $185 to start. But at least they're tiny. Okay, well, that's fantastic because

now that means that it's time for... The Price is Right! Go mom, now! The hell! The Price is Right! Come on down! How's that spelled? The help! That's right. Welcome, everybody, to The Price is Right.

And before lawyers get involved, I need to tell you that both price and right are spelled with Ys. It is a completely different game. This is not called The Price is Right. This is called The Price is Right. This is called The Price is Right. So are we all ready to play? All four of you? All right. I love the contestants.

All right. Contest number one, tell me a little bit about yourself. Uh-oh. I like putting things in my butt. I think we all like that. All right, well. And I overshare information about myself. All right, well, that segment went fantastic.

Let me explain the rules of the prize is right. Yeah, I'm contestant number two. You want to ask about me? I sure don't. Nope. I like putting things in contestant number one's butt. I am contestant three. Am I supposed to be on the stage? Alright, let me explain to you

the rules. The price is right. Here's the rules. Each listing of a magical item will feature an image, a full description, and the name and location of the seller. The price is going to be hidden to you, and only the strongest magical uh, Magickal

ritual, uh, will reveal that price. Uh, the ridiculous closest to the price gains a point. All right? Fantastic. Can I be one of the Price is Right, like, bikini women? I don't think there's bikini, like, which, are you watching the porno parody of the Parker Beauty? It's more like ballroom gowns.

I guess so. I mean, it usually... Anyway. Oh, it'd be like a beach package. Yeah. Those are the ones that stick in my mind for some reason. Okay. The secret is, we're a podcast.

You can wear whatever you want. I'm a bikini lady right now. You didn't even know. All right. Okay, I'm going to start with this item. This is the Witches Encyclopedia Rare. 358 pages of essential information for anyone

interested in McGick, Book of Shadows, Grimoire, e-book download! Ooh. Bob, Bob, I have a question. Yeah. How can it be an e-book and rare? Ooh. Ooh. You can it be an e-book and rare? It can make unlimited copies. You always get to bid on this item.

Put that man back in the green room. Fuck you. All right. Boots are incredibly rare. It takes them so long to film actual episodes of Price is Right because they keep doing that. Boots are incredibly rare. Greenmore e-book download. What is your bid?

$69.99. $69.99. Again, Price is Right rules. You need to be closest without going over. Frank West? I'm going to say $80. $80. $80.

All right, Squiddy. I'm going to go with bucks 80 dollars alright Squiddy I'm gonna go with the 1 cent alright 1 cent Squiddy that's a point for you correct answer

13 dollars and 97 cents for this incredibly rare ebook I think McGick's Treasures could have gone more bold than that

yeah they should have but you know they're doing volume doing volume. Next item we have is the ATMA She Is Magic Vesta Silver Amulet offering. It's a silver amulet.

ATMA She Is Magic Asteroid Goddess Silver Amulet. She Is Magic is a series of vibrant offerings in the shape of silver amulets. What is the shape of a silver amulet? Painful. Painful. Imagine wearing a crown of thorns around your wrist. This would be a bad item for contestant number one, let me tell you.

She is Magic is a set of symbolic keys of transformation that help us embody healthy and undistorted feminine archetypes that balance and heal the masculine energy within and without. Each key holds a necessary personal experience that has the potential to transform our limited perception into self. I'm trying to look at what this maid made of and it won't tell me. I think it might be made of silver. What? Like sterling silver? Probably not. Yeah, it's not silver.

It's on a cord. Right, right, right. Let's see. She is associated with the fire element as she carries within the mystery of the eternal flame of sexual and creative fire. Boots, how much do you bid for this item? Oh, I always get to go first.

Yeah. Great. I'm going to say $34.99. $34.99. Jimmy Franks, $6.66. Okay, fantastic. Frank West? $50. $50. Okay, fantastic. Frank West? $50.

$50, okay. And Squiddy? I'll go with $22. $22. I believe that means that Frank West is our winner. That's $84. $84.56. $84.56. She is magic.

Goddamn. You have to guess. We don't know. I guess you get to spend the money and find out. Whoa! This next item is terrifying. Oh, no. Oh, no, this is a thing.

Haunted dolls. Haunted dolls. No, it really is a thing. Yeah. Oh. No, this was actually in an episode. Yes. Yeah, so this is Carol.

She is a haunted antique porcelain doll. Tilda, old spirit. Tilda loves to cuddle. Oh, oh, oh. Please don't. I love to cuddle with my ghosts. Yeah, my ghost porcelain doll, too. Spectre snuggles.

Yeah, polite and joyous paranormal investigators collection. Meet Carol. She has a glass or porcelain head. Who knows? And a cotton stuffed body. She was handmade by the owner who put her together and figured out that the doll head was more than just a doll

head. So she decided to attach a body after experiencing a lot of paranormal activities and became close with the spirit. My time with Carol has been very neat as she does attach quickly her past. Nobody knows. All we know is that her name is Carol. She's super sweet, loves to cuddle, and she means no harm. So yes, she is mysterious, but that doesn't mean she, that doesn't mean that she means harm or is negative. She has been with my aunt for five years, and I've had her in my home for only six months.

We have busy lifestyles, and I'm an open-minded individual. Don't they have like a haunted doll place that you can take a dog to or a haunted doll? Wait, like a dog to or a haunted haunted haunted wait like you like a dog park but for haunted dolls an off leash doll park yeah Squiddy what's your bid on this item I'm gonna go with

$150 $150 uh Jimmy Franks uh $420, Bob. I'm supposed to eat every day. $420? Yeah. All right. Frank West?

That's, I wouldn't pay a dollar over 70 for that $100. $70. And Boots Reingear? I'm going to do $151. You bastard. You are all over. All of you are over. We are giving Carol away for only $40.

That's a bargain. That's a bargain for a not haunted doll. I feel kind of sad for Carol. If I were a haunted doll, I'd be fucking pissed that my spirit was only worth that much. Yeah, I might buy Carol and resell her on eBay. Was I not polite and joyous enough for you? What? All that cuddling means nothing?

I mean, for what it's worth, between us getting this document and now this item has been sold out, so $40 was at least a price that was meant to move. Our next item here is the Clear Quartz Angel Gemstone Angel Angel Angel Angel Angel

Crystal Healing Hasht hashtag Etsy match. That is definitely a butt plug. Oh, yeah, that's a butt plug. That's an uncomfortable butt plug. It's 88 grams. Okay. Would you say that's large? That's large for an angel, I guess.

I don't know. Hashtag Etsy match. This listing is for one, one, clear quartz angel. The photos show inventory in hand and quality, what you will receive. Please understand that each stone is unique and will have variations on pattern and size. Please feel free to request specific size, and we will do our best to accommodate. Oh, look at that. Look at a thing of quartz that is less than a tenth of a kilogram is large.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this paragraph will explain that, okay? Angels are a symbol of divine love. End of paragraph. Okay, good. All right. You know what? I'm ready.

Use this natural crystal quartz angel carving to remind you of God's gifts to you every day. Produces a force field of healing negative ions. Oh, God. While clearing the surroundings of positive ions, protecting the aura. What? It dispels... Well, no. It

produces the negative ions and clears the positive ions, which is good. It cancels out radiation and radioactivity. Oh, good! Oh, it dispels static electricity, so, finally. That'd be great!

Yeah, yeah. I hope you guys are keeping track of your own score, because I'm fucking not. Frank West, what's your bid there? That's, like, $35. $35? Alright, Jimmy Franks? Oh, God. I mean, if it clears up radiation radioactivity, it's got to be worth at least $70.

$70. Boots Reingear? $94.73. $94.73. And Squiddy? $150. Oh, my God. You guys are bringing big pockets into Etsy.

I'm sorry. None of you. The correct answer, $29.95. It's only 88 grams. Is this one sold out? No, it does not seem to be. Moving on. This is an item by a seller by the name of something wicked.

That's really cute. Something old by the name of something wicked that's really cute something old something new something yeah spoil it all by saying something stupid like I'm wicked the macaw okay so this is the macaw wing feather quill pen spell writing set. You know, if you're gonna do some spell writing, you're gonna need a macaw quill for that, right?

We understand that. This is a naturally molted, genuine macaw feather quill pen for your magickle writing. It has an actual calligraphy pen nib at the end. I'm glad to know they're not plucking the feathers from macaws. No, no, naturally molted, naturally molted. What a wonderful way to write letters, spells, thoughts, and dreams. As long as they're McGickle thoughts, I suppose. Blue and gold on the front and gold on the back measures approximately 13 inches long.

Each quill pen is a unique work of art. That means that there's no QA on any of this. It comes in walnut husk ink and parchment paper. I just had a really sad thought of an Etsy seller sitting at their house with a really naked parrot right now. Why is that a sad thought? Like, oh, got another order. Naturally molted, you bastard. Jimmy Franks, what's your bid there? Oh, $7.99, Bob.

Okay, all right. Boots, rain gear? $100. All right, Squiddy? $40. $40. And Frank West? Well, considering I just saw you fucking highlight it, I'm going to say $20.

Oh, goddammit! Well, you weren't supposed to see that. Don't look at that. I gotta look at the fucking price. Wait, when you highlight it, I don't see it. I'm seeing crazy things happening. Well, that's because I'm looking over Lemon's shoulder. Okay, everybody.

Oh, god! Move! Goddammit! Well, Lemon, I would say as of what's in the dock, it's... Oh, don't do that. It's good you wish to give dollars. What are you doing? Stop it. Stop what you're doing.

Frank West, you lose on a technicality. Squitty, congratulations! Yay! Technicality! Wait, maybe... No, wait, that was supposed to be Boots. Boots gets a point. Boots! I think so. Why?

I think it's $7. I don't think it's $7. I think it's $100. Oh. I think it's- I think Jimmy Frank's gets a point. Oh, it's Jimmy Frank's. I'm pipe balling all of these, dammit. A point for everyone!

Yay! Except for Frank West. I'm off the board! Okay, uh, our next item is the crystal water bottle. The crystal water bottle is sold by... I'm thirsty. I like having a container that I can carry water around with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine an algin bottle, but then there's just a crystal inside of it.

I like that there are more surfaces for bacteria to grow on. That is good. That is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sold by Custom Essentials LLC. for bacteria to grow on. That is good. That is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sold by Custom Essentials, LLC. This would be impossible to clean. It's a handcrafted genuine stone secured in a glass 18-ounce bottle.

These are natural crystals. Color will vary. You can use the code 10OFF for a 10% off discount. Clear Quartz is known as a master healer that's a very powerful healing stone that can be used for anything and everything you know what I have anything and everything

okay so you can use the code 10OFF for a 10% discount. Yeah, yeah. Is that accounted for, the price? Well, that would be whether or not you bid on the price and then say 10OFF after the price. Anyway, let's start. Frank West, Frank West, what's your bid there? I bid zero with the code 100OFF.

All right, well, you just broke JavaScript. Boots, what's your bid? $91. $91. Okay, fantastic. And Jimmy Franks? $1337. $1337. And

I'm going to go with $30. $30. That's another point for you, Squiddy. The correct answer was $69. $30. That's another point for you, Squiddy. Man. The correct answer was $69.99. Nice. Nice. We are

moving into a little bit here. We got some custom McGick. This is very exciting. Let me just back up a little bit here because I'm going to tell you about the product. Get out of my chair here. Where are you going? And let me let me just back up a little bit here because I'm gonna tell you about the product Going over here nothing Oh to the magic Okay, so here's a painting of a sexy juggalo lady Yes, you got a vagina candle!

This is everyone's favorite spell! This is every... Customized spells rituals! With this type of ritual, you have the freedom to choose what kind of spell you want and I will design it to uniquely fit your needs! So this Juggalo appears to have been struck with about

25 blow darts. Is she sitting on a barrel that's just about to go down Niagara Falls? Othello appears to have been struck with about 25 blow darts. Is she sitting on a barrel that's just about to go down Niagara Falls? She's dropping a whole bunch of roses. The dreads are very confusing. I think she's pooping. Anyway, the point is, Othello magic will produce any fucking spell you want,

which is quite a thing. Wow. Quite a thing. So wait a second, someone's just going to sit at their house and do a magical ritual for me, and I'm going to give them money? For you, directly for you. You choose what you want,

and they will make that spell. Squiddy, what's that worth to you? Wait a second, I don't understand. They're going to do this at their house without me knowing it's actually happening Yeah, yeah, you know what happens because you'll have a magic spell cast on you, right? You choose the spell you want and they will design you can imagine any spell any like $75 $75 Frank West what's your bid there? I want my spell to be for infinite money. So it's worth infinite money

spell to be for infinite money, so it's worth infinite money. Infinite money is a very good choice. Jimmy Franks? I will pay $15 for a black velvet painting of the Lady of the Trooping. Well, that's unrelated to this game, but that's fine. And Boots, what is your bet there?

17 cents. 17 cents. I believe that's yet another one for Squiddy. Correct answer is $60 dollars and 42 cents. No! I love that specific number, 966 dollars and 42 cents. What the fuck? Like, really just doing a whole bunch of A-B testing to settle on the exact right price point there.

Is there a link to this? Like, has somebody bought this? Algorithmically, well, maybe, but it wouldn't be sold out, would it? Well, I mean, how much McGick does a person have? What if somebody bought all Atulu McGick, has currently no products for sale. There's a lot of positive reviews here. And, well, I'm going to read you these products that have been reviewed. First one's called Black Magic Book.

The next one's called 13 Powers. And then the next one's called BLACK MAGIC BOOK! The next one's called THIRTEEN POWERS! And then the next one's called VOODOO BOOK! But no products currently for sale. They must have just made all their money and stopped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A success story. Yeah, this is a guy

who wanted to retire at 30, and this was his plan. So this is, next product here is the destruction freezer jar DIY. Oh my god.

Wow. This is quite an image. What kind of surface is that resting on? It's like... Hey, what a floaty jar of poop. I'm so a floaty jar of poop. I'm so a floaty jar of poop. So the picture is a mason jar with, like, I don't know, like...

It's like an old, dead animal. Burnt newspaper? Okay, anyway, this destruction jar is one nasty motherfucker. It's geared to bind, destroy, and freeze your enemy in their own shit. Whoa. Yeah, it freezes them in their own shit for which they will try to do, for which they try to do to you.

With this jar, you get a dry jar with the herbs, powders, and roots already inside. The poppet is made and baptized in your enemy's name and soul. The poppet is made and baptized in your enemy's name and soul. The poppet is also dressed

and the petition inside the poppet. You get nine black candles as well when you get the jar filled with vinegar. But wait! But wait, there's more! And put all of your intent...

Oh, whoa! When you get your jar, fill with vinegar and put all your intention and hate. That jar is not big enough for all of my hate. I've already been storing all of my intention and hate in the vinegar. Perfect.

And turn up the volume on the Tori Amos CD that you're listening to on your disc, man. Okay, then seal and burn a black candle on top of the jar for nine days? Oh, wow. That's quite a candle. Then throw that bitch in the freezer! Whoa. When ordering this working, please email the name of the target, any photos of them, and date of birth.

Email me at actual person name. Blessing and happy conjuring! Hope this helps, bye! Jimmy Franks, what you got there? Oh, it looks like doo-doo. It sure does. I'm going to say $600. Also, Jimmy Franks, see a doctor.

You doo-doo should not be that black. Yeah, that's like a 10 on the, whatever that scale is, the poop scale. Dr. Oz poop scale. Booster and Gear? I'm going to pay $180 for this doo-doo. $180, very good. and gear? I'm going to pay $180 for this doo-doo. $180.

Very good. Squiddy? I'll pay $75. $75. And Frank West? If that jar can hold all my hate, that alone is impressive. So I'm going to bid like $300. $300.

Squiddy is doing amazing in this game. Correct answer, $150. $150 for a mason jar with some shit in it. Throw that bitch in the freezer. This product is, by the way, for sale. Boy, I'm looking at the other products here by Beneath the Silver Moon, and they're unpleasant. Really unpleasant. How can it be worse

than poop in a jar? This is our last item. Our very last item. It's by Potions and Pentacles. It's called the Fiery Wall of Protection. Okay, so surround yourself with a shield of fire before reading this description, I guess.

Five milliliter amber bottle. Five whole milliliters. Five whole milliliters. The label is lovingly sharpie. It says fiery wall of protect. Oh no, I'm running out of space.

Hey Lemon Yeah Is there any like eggs or dairy in this thing I'm concerned About my diet and whether I'll betray any of my beliefs By consuming this thing Oh it's all vegan and cruelty free Thank god

The whole thing is vegan and cruelty free It's not used to diagnose or cure any disease. Please ask your doctor before using during pregnancy. Oh, God. I don't know what this is. I sure don't want to explain what it is.

Oh, no. Sorry. Over here. It's got benzoin oil, mandarin oil, black pepper oil, clove butt oil, orange oil, cinnamon oil, and jojo butt oil. Ho-ho butt oil! Ho-ho butt oil. And

I don't know what you do. I guess maybe you rub on it, or maybe you start a fire with it? It says, used to anoint during a ritual or as a daily perfume. Oh, okay, good. Yeah. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so Squiddy, you've been doing pretty well here. What's your bid?

Eight bucks. Eight bucks. Jimmy Franks? Oh, $45. $45. Boothring here. Let's see, $8 and a leaflet. Ooh, very nice, very nice.

How expensive is the leaflet, though? How much is the leaflet for? I've got half alet. Ooh, very nice. How expensive is the leaflet, though? How much is the leaflet worth? Half a cent. Okay, cool. And Frank West? 50 bucks. Okay, well, good job, Boots. Good job with your leaflet. It worked. Correct answer is $16.42

for a fiery wall of protection made out of some oils. I think I need to buy the destruction freezer, Chuck. You would not be wrong to do so. And that is our game. Thank you contestants for playing. The price is right. Don't forget to spay and neuter

your familiars. How long have you been sitting on that? It was good. It was very good. Our thanks to our sponsors, Dr. Pepper, who is not a law firm. Toyota, which is not a law firm. Dollar Shave Club, which surprisingly is a law firm. I don't know. They misfiled the paperwork. They should really is a law firm. I don't know.

They misfiled the paperwork. They should really get a law firm on that. But F+, what did we learn from this? I learned anything can be a butt plug if you want it to be bad. The last one there is actually probably the most dangerous thing to stick in your butt. All of the oils? Or just the fire. I think the juggalo lady might be the most dangerous thing to stick in your butt.

Most of these other things aren't going to go all the way in. Let's go back through and discuss each thing to stick in their butt yeah you're right you're right that bottle will get lost and then you'll end up calling victor let's drive he's got a case of haunted doll but that's tough to get rid of i uh yeah i was i i thought i was uh as we were looking through the products um uh i was just curious to make sure to click on all of these to make sure, like, and check to see what the status on these things are. Because Kanye Citra gave us this document not that long ago.

And in that time, some of these have gone off, which then begs the question, like, did Etsy do that? Did the seller do that um is does etsy have any standards about like what they will do because i mean these do say like literally will baldface say like we'll give you magic powers like you will be able to cast spells with this product yeah i guess all those people who all the teens who make the magic spells that will make you fly or whatever like you can just grow up and make money off it i guess they stay the same yeah it's a good thing those people haven't discovered those spells on those sites they can just do it themselves for free right yeah do you think that like do you think that that's what it is like uh like uh

the spells of magic people are like the the sort of open source community of this shit you know like they're not in it for the money they're hackers man they're just in it for the truth well they're you know there's the white witch hats and there's the black witch hats laughing laughing

laughing laughing oh boy the website is always THE Oh boy. The website is always THE FPL.US Come to Ball Pit, I'm sure you'll find more QA humor there.

And also, as a note to anyone that's been submitting the documents great documents and fantastic we've had, when you give us the documents don't give us the documents, don't give us edit privileges. Because bad things can happen. Anyway, thanks a lot for listening.

Bye-bye. Bye. It's magic. The stars desert the skies And rush to nestle in your eyes It's magic Without a golden wish Good. Well, the next item,

Frank West just fucked up in the Google Doc, and I can't undo it to get it back. I didn't do that to get it back. It's fine. I didn't do that at all. Nope, nope, it did and I can't get it back. So anyway, we're gonna just leave that one to the side and stop touching it!

It came back as if I had my gig. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. It is back. Oh no, it's not back. That image is on the top of every page. At a point. What did you do?

What did you do it's on every page of the document now single page what did you do what terrible ridiculous performance let Lemon restore from the history there we go okay

somebody try to delete a word I did it refresh the page okay but if I refresh changes I made might not be saved exactly

prick If I refresh changes I made, it might not be saved. Yeah, exactly. Crick. There's something wrong. I can't delete any words. Yay! I can no longer interfere with the flow of this podcast, which I think is probably... Well, no, there's plenty of ways that you can. Don't worry about it.