The F Plus - 289: May I Propose Prepuce?

Episode Date: September 20, 2018

When the users over at Adult Fanfiction Dot Org aren't writing porn, they're thinking of ways to critque the ways that you, personally, write your porn. Fortunately, the site has a forum to service this need. This week, The F Plus finds the Darkwing Duck erotic fanfic.

I love you, Naked Duck. Yes, yes, yes. Deep into my bottom. The symposium will now begin. The F Plus Podcast, as we all know, is a place where terrible things are read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. I have fairly large nipples myself, but even fully hardened and erect, I'd hardly describe them as towers or like flagpoles. Achilles Heelys!

Be shonen in poses while same age looks smitten. Big uke eyes and fanfictions written. That's enough. Bump girl! His dick felt cold. Ice cold. It was then that Harry knew something had gone very much wrong. Yeah!

Comme quoi, zapp? I myself prefer not to be told a specific size for breasts or for penises. I have a terrific imagination. That's why I'm a writer. Let's welcome back JT! If someone wants to write Lamias and Nagas doing it, wink to Keith, it's their right. And Lemon. Which of these would you prefer?

And Lemon. Which of these would you prefer? She had nicely sized globs of flesh for breasts and perky little nipples that reached out to the sky. She had well-formed mounds that rested on her slightly moving chest, her very noticeable nipples standing like towers. Or her large, voluptuous mountains stood proudly on her chest, her swollen nipples standing like flagpoles. Wild all-male orgies with hot guys with wings. These are a few of my favorite things.

When you're gonna get to me, get to me, is it just a matter of time, Sharona? Is it just a destiny, destiny Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona? Never gonna stop, give it up Such a dirty mind, I always get it up For the touch of the other hand

Hey, F+. Oh, hello, Lemon. Hey, how has your writing been lately? Turgid. Turgid? Any other adjectives come across? Tortured. Moist.

Simultaneously turgid and moist. Throbbing member. Tortured. Tortured. Tortured. Well, you know, we can torture your writing a little further. What I want to send you to today, I really do actually want to send you here. This will be a fun place to send you to. I'm going to send you to a place called adultfanfiction.org.

All right? called adultfanfiction.org. All right? Now, adultfanfiction.org, of course, is a place where there is simply adult fan fiction, right? Hermione, Harry Potter having sex. We all understand that. Wait, they're adults?

Well, yeah. Yeah, of course they are. I mean, you don't think that they're, like, cryogenically, like, locked in stasis, do you? All right. Well, so obviously, yeah. So adult fan fiction, a place where you can get characters fucking. However, there's also an entire forum of writing advice.

And that's what we're looking at today. This is a document given to us by Curly Q. And thank you very much, Curly Q, for this. We're going to just we're going to just find out. We're just going to learn about what's happening on the community of adult fan fiction. Sound good? Wow. All right. Fantastic. So so we're going to start off here with this thread. And come quads up. Your name is Sir General Sir. Your rank, I believe, is Groper.

So that's a good thing to be. It's a good thing to be. Advanced Lieutenant Groper. Yeah. Hello. My name is Sir General Sir, and, and, and, uh, shocked woman wants sex babies? Sex babies, huh?

Yeah. Well, uh, uh, just, uh, just taking a look at your, uh, your avatar, I see that you are both, uh, biohazardous, uh, radioactive, and poisonous. And a skull. Well, that's the, that's the skull. The poison. Wow, you're incredibly dangerous. And a skull. Well, that's the skull. The poison. Wow, you're incredibly dangerous. Obviously.

Yes, in writing something, and have that a woman can't see very well, when a hunk of a guy comes close enough for her to see him, her reaction is to have her inner voice of what she is thinking to be said instead. Okay, okay, yeah, gotcha.

Love Hina fan recommended that I use, wanna get lucky and win the nine month lottery? I like it, but what else might be a good line to use? Okay, anything else. Anything else. That's not a good line. Alternately, if you think that's a good line, I don't know how to dial in. I'm a fan. You're right. I'm so sorry. Love you, the fan.

I want the girl to blurt out how she wants to jump the guy and have him knock her up. For women, if you saw that one guy suddenly right there, and you blurt out your personal hidden desire like a guy might. But the female terms. Okay, Data. If that makes any seance to you.

Hey, yo, yo, yo. My name is Clover Reef. Okay, hi, Clover. Yeah, my interests are male, male pirates. And other stuff I don't want to get into. Also, poutine. I from saskatchewan well we got something in common at least yeah lol i might be a little unsophisticated about this thing but i always like the direct approach like oh fuck i want to have your babies

or a sleazier version i bet you make beautiful babies i mean i guess that's i mean if you're going sleazy that's uh it's just a man it's just poor just poor thank you you're welcome well and uh your responses as an example uh this could this could be something she might say. Holy ovulating ovaries! I want us babies! Oh, good. We're already in troper tales. Then a few seconds pass, and she realizes what she just said. We're actually in groper tales, apparently. Oh, boy. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Any more there, General?

Sir, General, Sir? Any thoughts on how I could write something for a women's POV to blurt out something? Oh, that's what I like. He can bed and baby me now. Fuck. All right, that's enough. That's enough of this thread.

That's entirely... No. Alright. Yay! We're gonna learn a little bit. Bed and baby. It sounds like a store. Bed and baby and beyond. That's a bad store. We're gonna learn a little something about writing a simple

nude scene. That's page four there in the doc. My name's BWM1013. I'm a virgin. So I'm writing a Lilo Nani collection of stories. Would that be Big White Man? Maybe. Yeah, perhaps.

Very much. Yes. Of course it is. Black? Maybe. Yeah, perhaps. Very much. Yes. Of course it is. Black white man. It'll feature. Okay. So a Lilo Nani collection of stories. It'll feature no sex, just both sisters in various situations.

Nude. Oh, that's cool. That's great. Yeah. I want to start out with a snuggling on the couch scene. Are there any ideas on how to make it work? And then, Achilles, your name is George Glass. The important thing is to establish why Lilo,

and especially Nanny, consider snuggling naked together to be normal, acceptable behavior, at least from their own perspective. Maybe their parents were nudists or were otherwise comfortable being nude around the house in front of the kids. Or maybe the frequent nudity was a habit that Nanny fell into

after their parents died. What? I've just killed those parents. That's fun. Maybe there was a heat wave one summer and Nanny couldn't afford to keep the air conditioning running at all the time. I mean, even if they have an AC at the house.

So she started wearing less and less at home. Lilo, free spirit that she is, probably would think this was a dandy idea. Oh no, I'm just wearing this pretense and it's so flimsy. Yes, I don't belong in jail at all! To the point that Nanny would have to remind her not to go running around outside without her clothes on. As for the snuggling, being each other's only family might draw them closer together. Nanny is probably Lilo's only source of physical affection My name is BWN1013 I'll go with the parents were new to this idea Splendid

Yay writing Alright So we're skipping over a thread with a very lovely title No no It just doesn't get better than the title so we're skipping over a thread with a very lovely title. Oh, come on. No, no, it just doesn't get better than the title, which is Etta Pussy. But instead, we're going to move into this thread,

which is called When to Use Them. So we're coming back to Sir General Sir here, and come what's up, what do you have to say? When is the best time to use the odd little sounds people make when X is happening to them? Sounds like cooed slash cooing. How is it best used? And Bump Girl, you're a desiderous prince. Price, desiderous price.

Desiderious price? Sure, that too. You're also that. I am a master. Master. Master. Master. Sound words, I kind of use like a spice here and there,

peppered about. Oh, see what I did there? I'm very clever. I'll typically do them on their own line, like dialogue, because it is, in a way, dialogue. For instance, flushing a toilet, I might just... Yeah, in another more accurate way, it isn't at all. Well, flushing a toilet is like dialogue. It isn't, though.

But that's what I'm using for my example. Because, for instance, flushing a toilet I might just put in flush because well that invoke the proper image without having to write a character announce their flushing

or write the toilet was flushed. I kind of like it where they're announcing that they're flushing though. That's pretty good. Yes the toilet actually

saying the word flush. I'm flushing, though. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's the toilet actually saying the word flush. I'm flushing the toilet, y'all! I mean, if a character's in the bathroom and a flush occurs, you can generally guess who flushed it. Because that was the major problem here. Wow. Come, Quadsop, you have a response to that hum okay so example wise you have a character that's been

fucked really really good he she is exhausted and the other person that fucked them into bliss prompts for another round the one that got fucked would parentheses one parentheses there there please but firm no. With single butt cheek. I thought that cood or even purred would have been good, but because they are sound words, I'm not sure that I can place them correctly. I don't think you can.

Are you just writing like like, cooed as a sentence? Like, new paragraph, cooed, period, done? Obviously, I should use flushed. And, uh, Bump Girl? I'd still tend to write it more like dialogue, treating the action slash sound as any other spoken line. So, for example, quote, he touched her butt. Slap.

Dot, dot, dot. Coo. Pick your sound. Sorry, he said, pulling back. Okay. He slapped a pigeon's butt. So erotic. Yeah.

Coo. Erotic! Yeah. Cool. My fetish is reluctant and regretful light BDSM. With pigeons. This is hitting all my buttons. With pigeons.

Lightly. Furthermore, I've taken to starting stories with a sound. For example, using drip, drip, drip, for the repair guy. Wait, the repair guy's dripping? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just got post-penis drip. Right, right.

I can't believe you haven't read my fic, the repair guy. I'm desiderious price. Dunno a good reason. It just gets things across to the reader No it doesn't Engaging another part of the mind As you keep reading the story It's fan fiction about Virgil the Drippy Dragon Wow

Callback Yep Wow Unforgivable callback And then come Quatsap just finish this up here Indeed So after mind blowing sex callback. And then, come Quest Up, just finish this up here. Indeed! So, after mind-blowing sex, indicating

that, well, she might enjoy a eighth round of it, would purr to decline. You fucked my dry. I couldn't take another round with you, she purred.

And then an ellipsis made out of question marks. These people are writers. All right, all right. We need to get some proper advice here. Some better advice. This advice has not been great. We're going to get some really good advice now. So, JT.

Yes, hello. Your name is ArceusAlpha493. That's a Pokemon. And you want to make your erotica proper. Isn't that right? Yes, I do. So, my name is ArceusAlpha493. And I am a virgin

What? Yeah, you sure are Yes, I am Welcome to the forum, asshole You're using Sorry, go ahead No, you're named after a Pokemon and you're a virgin? Do tell

Yeah, I know it's This may come as a shock, but yes So using proper anatomical terms over sex slang. Oh, yeah, do it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that makes my phallus hard. Oh, yeah. Hello, I am a writer, too, but anyways, in all my stories, there are sex scenes.

Wrong there. I'm a writer, too. When I write them, I always try to be professional and use proper anatomical terms, including penis, prepuce. What is that? I looked it up. It's foreskin or clitoral hood. Oh, yeah. Good.

Good. Good to have confusion in your sex stories. Extra helpful genital skin. The sexiest term. The more you know. So we got penis, we got prepuce, we got semen in the male. That's apparently a proper anatomical term. Yeah.

Only in the male? I guess so, yeah. Rectum, vulva, vagina, slash birth canal. Oh, yeah. Birth canal., vulva, vagina, slash birth canal. Oh, yeah, birth canal, birth canal. Birth canal. Yes, nothing sexier than birth canal. I mean, you know, later when birth aqueducts were invented, it got sexier. So we got clitoris, uterus or womb, cervix, which is open during coitus and closes at the beginning of pregnancy and opens...

Beginning of what? The beginning of... Oh, pregnacy. Nobody, nobody, as you've proven, as you've proven, JT, nobody on the internet can write any variation of pregnant. No. It is impossible. So we got it at the beginning of pregnancy and opens at the partuition. Uh-huh. Yeah.

You're a doctor, huh? Ovaries. Oh, yeah, rub my ovaries, baby. Oh, I'll rub your ovaries. And other anatomical terms. I have to ask, do you all use these terms instead of the slang? Yes, all of us. Yes, 100% of us.

Yes. No, I just usually say baby balls for ovaries. Oh, okay. Yes, haven't you read my novella, The Summer of Coitus? Preypoos on the Precipice? Would you read a story which has these proper terminology in the sex scenes? I have noticed an overuse use of sex slang, but now... Overuse use. I have noticed an overuse use.

So much sex slang in my sex posts. I need proper anatomical terms here. So, yes, I have noticed an overuse use of sex slang, but now where are times that you would use either one? What if the reader does not understand some of the terminology? You have not read David Foster Wallace, apparently. You solve all problems with footnotes. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my name's Danny Yale. I'm a tormentor of shadow, and actually that slang, as you call it, is what publishers want. They want cock, balls, pussy, et cetera, instead of more mainstream terms, like rectum, they want heat. And heat tends not to come from proper anatomical terms. The whole point of reading some of this is it's naughty. And the naughty parts come from the word usage. Last three go rounds with the pro edit, I had to change terminology to something more heat driven

from the mundane to amp up the heat level. I am a writer. So it appears what people want is the naughty, not proper terms. Hey, Danny. Yeah. Tell me your interests. Oh, I would love to tell you my interests. Let's see.

My interests are writing, Inuyasha, writing, supernatural, writing, Harry Potter, writing, driving people crazy, writing, reading, writing. You get the picture. Also, according to my post count, posting on this forum is a thing that I like doing a lot. And JT, you got a response there? Okay, I understand your opinion, but I just prefer using technical terms, although I try to use non-vulgar terms like flower, malehood, or seed. Holy shit, Victorian

erotica. But that's about it. That's it. That's it. I mean, that's all you really need at that point. Yeah, flower, malehood, seed, there you go. That is a plot right there. The malehood put the seed in the

flower. The flower encanted the malehood and then there was seed. Everywhere. That's probably in the top 50% of fanfiction that I've read. So, you're in good shape there. But you must remember that not everyone

reads it to be naughty. Not everyone reads erotic fanfiction to be naughty. No. Yeah, for the plot. Like Penthouse. Exactly. I read and write sex scenes with artistic and professional sense, like authors who write romantic and erotic literature would use.

Literature. You mean like Stephanie Meyer? No, and rice. Oh, okay. Now, is there a point that sex slang can be overused? Is there a way to do sex scenes well without having to use vulgar terms

and still use anatomical terms? I mean, I guess, but on the other hand, I kind of would like to see the little pump of erotic writers. Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Come on. Malehood, malehood, malehood, malehood. Also, when I do nursing scenes, I always use breasts and nipples instead of the slang terms.

Thank you. Always. I don't think you get any slang for nipple. What do you got for nipple? Hello. I have arrived. My name is Foe of the Lance. Oh, Foe of the Lance.

I don't know who you are. Do you have any sort of cool title or anything? Yeah, I'm Master of the Orgy. Yeah. He's here, everybody. Master of the Orgy. Yeah, I'm wearing... No, no, don't tell us what you're wearing.

I'm wearing a masquerade mask, and if you take it off, there's another one underneath. And underneath that, it's sad. I believe the phrase in question is IKEA erotica. Reliance entirely on the anatomic terms can quickly turn a sex scene into how-to manual, which bores the reader. Yeah, but how else are they going to learn? Like, I mean, eventually I wanna fuck a rollercoaster, and without this erotic fanfiction, I'm not gonna figure it out.

Well, let me finish explaining. Oh, okay. Okay. It should be noted there is a major difference between avoiding vulgar terms and relying entirely on technical terms. You can use phrases such as flowered, manhood, member, sex, etc.

Flowered. Flowered. Without having to sound like you're reading out of a medical dictionary on the reproductive organs. But at the same time, you might want to throw in the occasional cock or pussy. No! Sex is not a clean act. at the same time, you might want to throw in the occasional cock or pussy. No! Sex is not a clean act.

I love the idea that member is an anatomical term. Yeah, and flower. I'm still trying to understand how that works as a verb. I know I've said it before, but member is the worst fucking word. Mr. Reindeer, I'm going to need you to take out your member.

I'm using the anatomical term. Lose your doctor's license immediately. Sex is not a clean act. Well, unless you have a few particular fetishes, I suppose, to each their own. Please submit to the F+, clean fetish. Clean fetish.

I want a Braxo soap fetish. I've seen shampoo fetish. Yes! Yes! Yes! That's what that thing comes tumbling down, though. This house of cards you've built. Germaphobe fetish.

Please find it. But not Donald Trump. At worst, it's a bestial expression of lust, while at best it's an energetic and exhilarating declaration of love. Trying to hide that just seems wrong. Well, sir, you probably have an orgy to attend to. We won't keep you. What up, it's Aisha CC.

What up? Hey, Aisha. Bow before the might of the Katara Katara Empire. Is that your rank? Yeah. Oh. Wow. Tarka Tarl Empire I yeah oh wow so not to brag at all but I just got a great review praising my use of proper anatomical terms in my Ben 10 story high-five hell yeah fist bump like most others I think it depends on the story and your personal preference you write what feels

right to you anyone who reads my stories know that I favor the words dick and twat but I don't limit myself to them I hate the words cunt and cock I find the word cunt and cock. I find the word cunt offensive every time I hear the word cock. I get a mental image of a rooster and there's a little rooster dancing around. No you don't.

That's not true. No I do. I'm Richard C.C. Bow before the might of the Katara Katara Empire. I told you I will not. Ampersand pound three. Anyway, that totally ruins the mood, if you know what I mean. Then there are all the bad porn flicks I've seen with dialogue like,

suck my cock, bitch. Why do you want me to suck a rooster? I don't understand. Yeah. And then there's an emoji barfing another emoji, which just turns my stomach. So I avoid using those words. Not to say I won't or haven't if I think they are called for.

I just prefer not to. So for the most part, stick with what you like, but be open-minded. I actually, I mean, I got to say I do not want to read your Ben 10 story. I don't. I gotta say I do not want to read your Ben 10 story I don't I don't I don't ever say cunt or cock yeah no but I am genuinely curious

to see what an erotic story looks like if it uses the word twat over and over again it's just twat and pre-poose that's all I use oh feels so good in my oh feel so good my twat yeah that's what's why it's a back walls of my twat Boots, just take must finish this up with me. I'm Megasfang, junior.

Megasfang, yeah. Megasfang. I tried to behave, but there was too many other options. Allude to what is happening. I use very few slang terms, but I don't use very many clinical terms either, because then your story starts to sound like an autopsy report. I tend to just not write about sex at all.

I'm just here to make friends. Just write around the terms and let the reader fill in the rest. So instead of he pushed his hard cock into her hot cunt. Boo. Try he entered her weeping opening. Boo. Try.

He entered her weeping opening. Ah! Yeah! Nothing as sexy as weeping. Oh, boy. I'm sorry I turned you all on right there. Thanks, Robert Palmer. That's definitely the sound I make when I get turned on. Anyway, he entered her weeping opening,

pushing himself as far into her warmth as he could. There's just more back here! There's just... How much? How far does it go? Oh! Weeping opening.

This is like, oh, like oozing sores Like I'm sorry for all the ejaculate And other stuff I caused Listeners of the F plus Bump girl is that making Is that making your opening weep

Um it's making some of my openings weep Yeah There are literal tears coming out of my eyes right now Well great uh So through the tears in your eyes I got a piece for you I would like you to read weep. Yeah. There are literal tears coming out of my eyes right now. Well, great. So through the tears in your eyes, I got a piece for you. I would like you to read Xena Cum Dumpster Princess. It's okay. It's just Latin.

It's just Latin. Yeah, Xena Cum Dumpster Princess. Yes. Looking for collaboration. I am a depraved dreamer. I am a virgin. Hello, all. I am looking for a fellow author to collaborate with on my fic series,

Xena Come Dumpster Princess, on adultfanfiction.net. I admittedly have not written that much. One other story I have written is an aborted continuation of a Deckman story, Moving On, called Moving On Revisited, on fanfiction.net. It will likely contain rape, BDSM, anal, gangbang, slavery, fingering, and bukkake. Just to start off with. I'm okay with most fanfiction. That's in the prologue.

How is fingering in that list? Trigger warning, fingering! What the fuck? I am okay with most fetishes, save guro, necro, shoda, loli, incest, and bestiality. And other grindcore bands. If you have a problem with any of those,

or possible scat slash water sports, then you should probably not apply. Just sneaking that in there at the end. Hello, I'm Reginald G. Propperton, and I would like to collaborate on your Xena cum dumpster princess story. Oh dear, such language! Watersports? Why I never! Well, the secret is to talk around saying water sports. Right. Ooh, yeah.

Use the anatomical term. His prepuce sauntered down her moist, weeping opening. By water sports, they mean Marco Polo, right? Yeah. Yeah. And underwater hockey. We're going to get more uh really sexy stories happening here uh well jt what do you got uh yes um uh hi get a collab going yeah my name is game

crazy 500 and i'm a virgin oh jt you got a theme i i do yeah well i mean you know it's not like virgins are really you know if we're we're a rare breed around here but um yeah yeah know, it's not like virgins are really, you know, we're a rare breed around here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. I have several ideas for the Arthur Rugrats slash all grown up. No! Oh, okay. Well, let me finish.

Let me finish. All right, all right. Give me a chance. So small children having sex with anteaters. They're all grown up. They're all grown up. It's fine. It's fine. They're all grown up. All grown up human with anteaters. They're all grown up. They're all grown up. It's fine. It's fine. They're all grown up.

All grown up human and anteaters. Just exactly as we can envision them, all grown up. All right. All right. All right. Just hear me out, okay? Hear me out. Okay.

So we got Arthur Rugrats slash all grown up and Rocket Power fandoms with an apostrophe. Dead. No idea. I have been unable to develop into full length stories. Hallelujah. I am, well, I'm trying to fix that right now. I'm looking for someone who can take some of these ideas and finish them.

Write my stories and I'll jerk off to it. They content is mostly male male, some bisexual, and FM ideas also. Uh, and they range from erotic nudity to hardcore sex. I'm not into real harsh things like rape and BDSM, so we're not gonna be having any anteaters raping each other or anything, because I'm not a degenerate or anything.

You're not a degenerate. What's the word after your comma? However, Yay! I am okay with milder fetishes such as docking and diapers. You promised all grown up.

That first one is the funniest fetish still, so. If you want to take a crack at one of my ideas, please indicate what fandom you want to do, what you want the pairing to be, and how hardcore you want the sex to be. Also provide a link to a sample story you have written. I look forward to working with you and finishing off some of these ideas. Yeah, can I

get Arthur and Cherry from Pee-Wee's Playhouse? Oh, that's good. Fucking the cushions. Well, no, because nobody replied to my thread. Oh, no. Oh, no. I have replied to my thread. Oh, no. I have to make my own collab challenge.

So my name is Natch. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I might be Notch, but I'm not Notch. I'm Natch. Notch is somewhere else in this world. Naturally, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm a virgin.

I got a signature but who gives a shit anyway um so uh i need a co-writer badly for my hellsing fan fiction and that's hell sing hell sing fiction that's a yeah it's an anime okay great excellent it's good i'm glad yep um so uh kraken has gone MIA on me And I'd really like to post the next chapter of my story But first I need a co-writer to translate my chicken scratch Into a legit readable story

Really easy Just tweak it so it flows better And do some Scenery porn That is a really good spelling of scenery. Scionry? Scionry. I think it's Irish.

Scionry. Scionry? Scionry? Yeah. Scionry? Yeah, like something. Something. Yeah, Scionry on Pleasanton.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like describing what a place looks like. Wait. Ecta. Look! Examples. Jesus. I'm glad you Look! Examples. Jesus.

I'm glad you're looking now. Okay. My original line. Okay, this is my chicken scratch. Oh, I do so love Paris, cried some young new wife to her hubby. Yes, I like it too, Sugar Bear,

he said to his wife. Right? That's the original line. Here's the way better line. Oh, I do so love Paris, cried some young new wife

to her hubby. She had soppy blonde curls and a twang indicating the American Midwest. Oh, yeah. I like it too, comma, sugar bear. Said her noticeably older husband, his broad shoulders and garish, I love Paris shirt,

obscuring his massive belly, which wobbled as they kissed lightly for her camera phone. Wow. See how much better it is now? Excellent. That's in the text right there. No notes. Soppy is defined as self-indulgently sentimental. Yeah, yeah.

The blonde curls, they're so nostalgic. They're just always with the rose-colored glasses. And it's way better for lack of less commas. It doesn't have any commas. So that's what I need you to do. Come join me. And then I got a link. Here you can go read what's been done so far and see if you can help me out.

It's a pretty cool story. And even has a side story, which was Kraken's possessive thing. Once I accept whoever, I'll fill you in and everything about where this is going and how we're gonna go about fixing my scribbles into art, a smiley face that gets its own paragraph. And yes, this is a partnership.

So if you need help with something, I'll help. Cat face. Just know that for the most part, I suck at writing. No. Oh my god. So you'll have to brush up on it some. Any questions? Yeah, I love caps.

Hard. You've got a follow-up here. You've got the sequel. Yeah. So, I've noticed. Nobody has posted. Noticed. I've noticed that nobody has posted

Anything in this forum Not just my post So now I think It's pointless to search for help here Oh my god The community is dead Collaboration is dead Long live the queen dead! Collaboration is dead!

Long live the queen! Alright, so there's some more... It's too bad we have Kumquat here, because we have nothing here catered for him. That's true. Nope, you're right. We have nothing to cater to Kumquat's up. Anyway,

I don't know. I'm just going to look here out the window and just think about something else. I'm just looking out the window. Harry Potter and his big-breasted harem challenge! Oh, hi, Kumquatsop. My name is the boob lover! The boob lover. Writing challenge.

But while searching for the remaining horcruxes, Harry finds a book containing spells that could change reality to his will. Next bullet point. He uses to make Voldemort never exist. Revive everyone who died because of him, which includes his parents, and make all the Death Eaters good people once again.

Man, that'd be a really interesting Harry Potter book. That would be an exciting, that's a riveting book series. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Next bullet point! He then proceeds to use it to form his own harem! Okay, so I've unwritten all of Harry Potter, and now it's a Pam Grier movie.

Number... No, bullet point number... Other bullet point. First, he makes his dick grow from an average six inches. His dick ranged six inches long to a thick 18 inches long. Oh, good. Good. That's an improvement. Good job. Longer than his legs.

Humans like that. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. I had to get bigger shoes because I needed to tuck my dick into them. You're welcome, ladies. I think this is creepy. Next bullet point. Danny has sex with the following girls in order to convince them to be part of his harem.

Oh, I read that as following girls in order. Number two, Ginny Weasley. Number three, Luna Lovegood. Number four, Cho Chang. Number five, Fleur Delacour. Number six, Angelina Johnson. Number seven, Alicia Spinnett. Number eight, Cho Chang. Number five, Fleur Delacour. Number six, Angelina Johnson. Number seven, Alicia Spinnett. Number eight, Katie Bell.

Number nine, Lavender Brown. Number ten, Nymphadora Tonks. Number eleven, Narcissus Malfoy. Number twelve, Bellatrix Black. Number thirteen, Andromeda Tonks. Number fourteen, Parvati and Padma Patil. Number fifteen, Leah Skeeter. Oh my god, the twins don't even get separate Patil. Number 15, Rita Skeeter. Oh, my God.

The twins don't even get separate lines? Yeah, no, no, no. Fingers crossed for Hagrid. Fingers crossed for Hagrid. Six, a revived and grown-up Moaning Myrtle. Oh, my God. 17, Susan Bowen. That pops your Hagrid.

Eight, Amelia Bones. 19, Hannah Abbott. 20, Pansy Parkinson. 21, Romil Devane. 22, Astoria Greengrass. 23, Daphne Greengrass. 24, Apolline Delacour. 25, a grown-up

Gabrielle Delacour. 26, a young fide Minerva McGonagall. 27, and Harry O's own mother, Lily Potter. Yay! Also, not pointing 27, and Hario's own mother, Lily Potter. Oh! Yay! Also, like, not pointing out that it is reviving and youngifying

Lily Potter, so it's literally the corpse of her. Yeah. No, no, everyone was back alive. Remember when we retconned the entire series? Oh. So he's just old in his mom boots. Come on. Grow up. Goddamn. Rude. Grow up. God damn.

Next bullet point. After my numbers and other bullet points. He also uses a book to make their breasts grow. See the first requirement. What was the first requirement? I don't know. Next bullet point. While he does use a book for his own personal gains, he never gets corrupted by it.

Wait, what? Except for the part where he has sex with his own mom. Albeit, I still want him to be powerful, smart, and strong-willed. Next bullet point. The last chapter is him having an orgy with all the girls he picked up to his harem. Next bullet point. Requirements for the story. Next bullet point.

Each girl in Harry's harem has the same size of breasts as the following adult models. One, Hermione Grange. Two, Ginny Weasley. Teddy Bear. Three, Luna Lovegood. Maxie Mouth. Four, Cho Chang. Minka.

Five, Fleur Delacour. Besshine. Six, Angelina Johnson. Mio Sotis Clarabelle. Seven, Alicia Spinnett. Christina Milan. Eight, Katie Bell. Oh, man, I love these helpful links to porn stars so that we can tell how big... Did you guys be surprised to learn that all of these ladies have extremely large breasts? It's really surprising, yeah. Bellatrix Black, Mistress Vienna, 13, Andromeda Tongs, Casey James, 14, Parvati and Padmapatil, Janetta Joy, 15, Rita Skeeter, Serena Lee, 16, Moaning Myrtle, Amy Anderson, 17, Susan Bones, Donita Dunes, 18, Amelia Bones, Brooke Blue, 19, Hannah Abbott. Lolo Ferrari. 20. Pansy Parkinson.

Wendy Whoppers. 21. Wendy Whoppers. Summer Cummings. 22. Astoria Greengrass. Vicky Little. 23.

Daphne Greengrass. Tina Small. 24. Tina Small. That doesn't sound like a big list. 25. It's ironic. Gabrielle Delacour.

It's ironic. Tina. Okay. Those are really big tips. Minerva McGonigal a big bust. 25. It's ironic. Gabrielle Delacour. It's ironic. Dina. Okay. Those are really big tips. Minerva McGonigal. Melanie Tips. 27. Lily Potter.

Leanna Fox. No pegging. No water sports. No scat. No BDSM. No rape. No mind break. No food.

And no pregnancy. No Dumbledore. Ron and Weasley's bashing. Oh, no. So who submitted this document again? Sorry. This is the Curly Q document. Curly Q. Cur, no. So, who submitted this document again? CurlyQ. CurlyQ was helpful and provided boobpedia links

to all these. Yeah, yeah. And looking at Tina Small's profile, her dimensions are 81, 23, 35. Oh, I thought she was holding a small child, but that's her breast. The picture is mind-boggling. She's a Douglas fir. She really is.

She really is. Yeah, I did not know this site existed, but Boobipedia is the encyclopedia of big boobs. Yeah, that's all. It's just a lot of really shockingly huge tits in this thing. Okay. Okay. uh okay um uh okay so uh there's some rants and raves um that we should probably get to here um and uh bump girl your name is turtle hermit right and uh you have a problem with a word that i super know how to pronounce as established a word that Lemon very much knows how to pronounce.

I know how to pronounce this word, so I'm not going to bother saying it out loud. You should. And other people should make fun of your pronunciation. Yahweh. And why it isn't a good thing. I'm sure that's wrong. Oh, there was once upon a time I actually knew what that stood for.

I'm kind of glad I've forgotten. No, wait, I'm very glad I've forgotten. Yaoi, and why it isn't a good... Oh, sorry. Yaoi, dot, dot, dot, and why it isn't a good thing, dot, dot, dot. Bye, Turtle Kermit. That's me. I'm a virgin.

Apparently this is my first ever post. Oh yeah yeah now my title was a little general but i have a theory what and why yaoi is actually sometimes oftentimes a downfall on aff.net now i am utterly liberal and i have a gay uncle and gay mothers which i love dear dearly, and I would never change. Oh, dear. I am not homophobic. Oh, boy. By any stretch. Wow.

Hello, adult fan fiction. I have many black friends. All my friends are black. Except for me. I'm not. But all my friends are. I am not homophobic by any stretch of the imagination. However, I have in my five years of fan fiction reading on various sites how destructive Yaoi actually is.

Wow. Okay. Destructive to... Like major cities, like blowing things up. It's become violently popular within the past few years and with it that's not an that's not an adverb you can use unpopular violently popular i'm a writer you're a writer and with it has come a plethora of bad writing bad pairings and a bad bad bad understanding of male on male relationships contrived within the minds of straight women who do-

who know- wait- N-O-nothing about the subject they write. Why is it written? For some reason, men have fantasies about two women. Women think it's hot, so they write it, without regard to it actually fitting the characters and their personalities. Can't stand stories which

feature actively straight men what what your your arms are way out in the air but plugging another guy and usually an enemy or friend turns me off so badly to see that. Attached is a chart cataloging my suspension of disbelief correlating directly to my erection. And of course... I like to butt plug all my enemies.

Are you actively straight, though? Like, actively? I mean, I am in the guild, sure. Okay. But I didn't pay my dues. But don't worry. And of course, I think the same of hetero fanfiction. So plugging in hetero stuff is just as bad.

What do you like? Okay, so disregarding the fact that no one is allowed to fantasize about anything and only things can be real, bad. What do you like? Disregarding the fact that no one is allowed to fantasize about anything and only things can be real, this is the biggest problem I see with Yaoi. Not that it's most of the time completely

out of character or how women write sometimes falsely about that in which they have no biological or otherwise knowledge dot dot a bunch of dots but turtle hermit just a question do you plan on ever making a point at any like are you gonna get to that or yeah that it is ruining adult fan fiction sites and filling it up with yaoi when a good heterosexual parent can't be found amongst the butt filling and cock sucking.

Man, this pornography is setting up fucked up sexual standards. You can't see the forest through the butt filling. Butt filling. Fill your butt, sir? Yes, if there were plenty of both, not a peep would be heard from me. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

I'll tell you. Yeah, unfortunately. Compare the hetero and the yaoi on AFF, for example. It might as well be called yaoiFF.net. Am I right? Am I right? Sick burn. Okay.

Oh, no. Whenever the rare happening in which I spy a M slash F in a C of M slash M, yes, my sad little heart leaps and I think, oh, yay! Someone has realized woman sex is much more adventurous and interesting. Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha! Is there anywhere on the internet that has straight porn? Anywhere at all? Anywhere. Is there any straight porn on the internet? Well, woman sex specifically. Not straight porn. Woman sex. Whateverwhere. Is there any straight porn on the internet? Well, woman sex specifically. Like, not straight porn. Woman sex. Yeah.

Whatever woman sex is, because it's singular woman and sex. So I think it's just women jacking off, like, maybe? I don't know. Probably a Wolf Mother song. Well, anyway, it's more interesting than the same old, same old butt piracy and licky, licky job of males. old butt piracy and licky-licky job of males. To remind you,

I have many gay friends. I just wish they wouldn't do their butt piracy in front of me. I'm so sick of seeing yaoi everywhere. Yo ho ho! Oversexed. Right, yeah yeah bad authors screaming fan brats of yaoi please sit this one out i want to live to see the day where women are useful literary fodder for the fanfic again. Oh, finally!

Fodder, yes, that's what I aspire. Personally, as a woman, I aspire to be literary fodder. Oh, yeah, into the cannons. And then, you know, because I know I'm so, like, sick and the burning and whatnot, proceed to the roasting, I dwell in fire. Hell, yeah, just bringing

truth, that's all. Like, haters gonna hate. Turtle Hermit, 12 dwell in fire. Hell yeah, just bringing truth, that's all. Like, haters gonna hate. Turtle Hermit, 12 posts of truth. Posting in personal rants and journals, personal rants and journals, personal rants and journals, personal rants and journals, and aimless babble. So, you've got a thing. Is it that I don't like the licky, licky jobs? Nor butt privacy. See, this is why some people wanted to use the anatomical terms instead.

Because licky, licky job of males is different than penis aspiration. That's not anatomical? I thought it was. We are skipping over a thread called Shame on James Patterson, even though it's a great title. We're skipping over that, but the part that Curly Q highlighted in this thread is, see, this is why prostitutes get a better rep than writers. Citation needed?

Thank you. You remember when that prostitute shot Hunter S. Thompson? Anyway, so this is called Judging People. And my name is Green Wizard. I have a poorly drawn Calvin and Hobbes avatar. And I do what my Rice Krispies tell me. Okay, so new rant from me. Is it really fair to judge someone presently for what they did in the past?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Wow. Is it? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I mean, I've done things I'm not proud of. Though I won't go into any detail. I personally think I shouldn't be held accountable. I mean, it was a really long time ago, people.

I've learned from my past mistakes. I'm still on this forum. I'm not entirely the same person I was then, but some people won't give me a chance. I have to say, this pisses me off! Why bother to change at all? And, Boots, you're a pretentious art whore which is a very good username the pretentious art whore my name is pretentious art whore i am she who lusts after paul mcgann you bet i think people should be judged as the person they are,

not for something they did when they were young and or foolish. Believe me, I did a lot of stupid shit when I was young. Surprisingly, people only judge me because of my appearance and my religion, not because of anything I did in the past. I can think of other ways to judge you. Yes, I am guest Zix. The quote-unquote now is an abstract thing. Therefore, if we cannot judge people

by their actions in the past, we must treat all people equally. This makes no sense at all. Oh, that's the first truth we've heard all night. Oh, hey, I'm Juno. I'm a kisser. Oh, gross. Get off Juno. I'm a kisser. Oh, gross. Get off me.

Get off me. No, I won't. Agreed. There is no such thing as the past or future. We only live in the present. The past only quote unquote exists because we have memory of it and the future is never a definitive possibility.

What? I'm a kisser. Oh no, Electric Six is taking special K again. I'm such a kisser. Too many things can affect the future for you to set it in stone. And the past... Call me a kisser.

The past has only culminated in how it affects your present. If your past has affected and changed you, then it has. No one can say you are wrong being the way you are, essentially judging you because of your past. You are the precipice of your

experiences. We are all defined by our past. If Harry Potter fucks you in the past, then you are in his harem in the present. That's correct. I agreed. How can you possibly judge someone on their cause of existence in the first place?

Wow. Wow. Okay. Super cool. I'm stuck in school. Super cool school Super cool Super cool Hey Boots, this is always a good

This is always a good thread to read Oh yeah This thread is called, Is This a Racist Question? Oh yeah Jimmy Franks is in here Boots Take this thread called, Is This a Racist Question? My name is Shinju.

Is this a racist question? Yeah. Okay, bye. All right. I know how this might sound, but I've been wondering this for a while, and we really like to get to the bottom of this. Do Japanese people drool when having sex? I've been wondering this for a while, and we really like to get to the bottom of this. Do Japanese people drool when having sex? Oh, that's not where I thought that was going.

No. How would you think that was racist? Is this just a yowie fetish? Do just certain guys, regardless of race, just happen to drool while having sex? Is it just guys? What is up with yukes always drooling in Yowie seats? Ukes. Ukes. No, it's yukes.

It's short for yukalais. Bob Yuker. Or Bob Yuker, yeah. I like that better. Is this a big turn on? There's a lot of Bob Euchre. There is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Euchre slash Belvedere. Euchre slash Costas. Is this a big turn on for women all over the world? Or is it just Japanese women? Am I supposed to be turned on? Is it weird that I'm not? Am I supposed to be turned on? Am I supposed to be turned on?

By just in general or? By in yaoi scenes is there a name for this kind of fetish i have more question marks every time i ask a question i've just wrong seen it so many times in japanese yaoi manga and books that i finally had to ask what is going on here i'm sorry to sound so intense but this question has been weighing on my mind for years sorry i hope I didn't offend anyone. That has an ellipsis at the end of it. Sorry. I hope I didn't offend anyone. There you go. Thank you. You're welcome.

Now drool. Bleh. Oh yeah, we all like this. You should be turned on And Bump Girl, you got Melrick Lord of nothing he surveys Melrick As opposed to the other Melrick

Oh, you're an admin Great, fantastic Oh, that's why I have a special color Yay Japanese people are no more liable to drool during sex or any other time than any other race. It's just a weird Japanese thing. One of many,

many weird Japanese things. Yeah, cute. Alright. Hello, I'm AJWF. I'm another kisser. Japanese culture. Hello. Oh, hello. Japanese culture... Hello.

Oh, hello. Japanese culture is much more open. Oh. They have these fictions all over the place. I mean, capital of strange, kinky things. So while it may not be popular or common, Japan would be the first place to have it. Japan, a liberal utopia.

All right. JT. Yes. So glad to have you back on the show, which is fantastic. And so to that end, I'm going to be giving you a choice for the very, very, very last thing we're going to read here. Oh, I'm so psyched. You've got two options. They're both viable, great, wonderful options.

The first one is a poem entitled My Favorite Things About Yahweh Rant. Okay. It's also by the person who was questioning about drool. Yay! And the second thing is by Lord Negaduck, and it is a Darkwing Duck erotic slash fiction. Yeah. I do appreciate you giving me this very much a choice, which has two very equal options. Yep.

Either one. Either one you want. Yeah. I've considered. I've weighed the choices here. Appreciate that. Thank you for taking it seriously. Okay, I'm just taking some time to deliberate,

but I think I'm going to go with the Darkwing Duck. The Darkwing Duck, fantastic. So the story is simply called Urgent. It's very long. And I think that it starts with the Darkwing Duck theme song, but like an erotic retelling of the Darkwing Duck theme song.

Like on the stats at the top, it says Dragon Prince 3391. I wonder what that means. Is it like views? I see 3395. I see 3394. I think it's views. I see 3395. I see 3394. I think it's views.

It must be views. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. So, okay. He really hated this ridiculous purple-caped mallard. Nevertheless, he couldn't stop thinking about his arch enemy.

Even in the middle of the night, he yearned for them. Why, of all people, was a dark dark winged duck who mulcted him of sleep and made him burning up in his bed at the same time? The answer to this question was simple. Negaduck desired his crime fighting twin like he'd never desired anything before. He leaned back in his pillow and imagined

dark winged's nude body writhing with pleasure while he touched his counterpart's groin area with his hands. The mere thought of it was enough to make Negaduck feel blood rushing to his organ as he took a deep breath and slowly ran his hands down his feathered stomach.

He wanted to feel him, even if it was for tonight. Negaduck moaned as his fingers clasped around. Negaduck. What do you mean I don't believe in duck? Negaduck moaned as his fingers clasped around his organ while he imagined it being Darkwing's hand, which touched his tough member. However, a deep-drawn sigh escaped his beak and he let go of himself.

There was no use pleasuring himself. Wouldn't give him any satisfaction tonight. He had to feel Darkwing's feathered body. Negadek smiled. Negadek. Now his name's Negadek. Smiled meaningful and he just got the perfect idea to angle for his counterpart's attention tonight uh and then i'm gonna let you know that the word member appears 22 times in this story nine times

uh and then jt i'm gonna give you uh this part of the story. We're going to have to skip around a little bit, but, you know, just take that part, please. Oh, okay. That's a lot of text. Yeah, sure is. Hot text. The hot, sweaty Mallard awoke from his sensual dream of having a rendezvous with his devious doppelganger when the alarm from his state-of-the-art computer equipment that was located in the closet in his living room was sounding. Mallard appears 52 times.

Good to get some stats. Thank you. Damn, I always wake up at the best part. Noticing that he was bare, he quickly reached for his nightshirt, which he must have taken off during his dream, and slipped it over his head and descended down the stairs.

I'm a sonamul ambulance stripper. Okay. When he reached the ear-splitting mechanical alarm, he found both Gosselin and Launchpad standing groggily by the door, waiting for Drake to silence it and find out where a crime is taking place. Yes, a crime! The excited Mallard said to his two sleepy housemates. Oh, your famous sketch phrase. Yes, a crime, the excited Mallard said to his two sleepy housemates. Oh, your famous sketch phrase.

Yes, a crime. Darkwing rubbed his feathered palms together and inquired. Ha ha, so they wait until Darkwing Duck is fast asleep to commit their heinous crimes. Well, don't they know that Darkwing Duck never sleeps? Gosselin interjected as she rolled her eyes Yeah right dad, every criminal knows your exact sleeping habits And waits patiently when you're fast asleep to commit their crimes Gosselin Sarcasm

No go ahead, go ahead, go on No it's just good sarcasm, it's just really good Yes very Can you do a little bit of Jan Brady into this next reading? Thank you. Yes, please. Yes, please. Gosling, Gosling, Gosling!

I tried. An attempt was made. Every criminal scum in this city knows and fears me. Launchpad yawned and cupped his beak with his hand, saying, Gee, DW,

it's three o'clock in the morning. Even the criminals are in bed by this hour. I wonder if it's a false alarm somewhere. Too excited to be paying attention to Launchpad, Darkwing's only concern at the moment was logging into the shush-issued computer and locating the source of the alarm.

When he entered his password, Darkwing said excitedly, Aha! Here is the source of the crime! It appears that the First National Bank of St. Canard on the corner of York and Feather Streets is being robbed yet once again. Yet once again. Wow, this is

really zany. The word crime appears 14 times. I'll add that to the Excel sheet. Five within this short passage. But DW, isn't that the bank that you laid on top of Quacker Jack's rubber chicken for over eight hours and we had to come and convince you to come home? Everybody remember that? Yeah. Isn't that the bank that you laid on top of Quacker Jack's rubber chicken?

So you laid the bank? You've picked up the bank and laid it on top of a rubber chicken. For over eight hours. For over eight hours. And then we had to come. And then you had to come rescue the bank from laying on the rubber chicken. No, no. He just had to be convinced to come home.

He was just hanging out with it. Come Quatsop, what do you got? But Nega Duck had other plans as he slowly licked Darkwing, leaving that hot, moist trail of saliva from his chin down to his feathered tummy. Darkwing could only gasp for air as Megaduck licked his belly

feeling his incredible hot tongue in circle and penetrate his belly button oh yeah owls don't have belly buttons! Well, they also can't lick people.

The word feathered appears 38 times in this picture. Darkwing was in a complete euphoric state right now. Well, yeah, his fucking belly button has been penetrated. Being... He's only... not here.

Uh, being completely hypnotized by Negaduck's body taking complete control over his. So how complete was this? Darkwing could only nod to Negaduck's question as he wanted nothing more in this world than Negaduck to go down on him and feel that tongue on him. Let's all remember that these are duck beaks. Duck beaks. Duck beaks. Quack, quack, quack, quack.

Duck beak. Darkwing cried for Negaduck. Oh, my Negaduck. Oh, my Negaduck. My Negaduck. Please, I want you so badly. Please, pleasure me with your tongue. Please. Lemon, are you doing Mike Serona for my Negaduck?

I'm just trying to... Oh, my Negad for my Negaduck? I'm just trying to... Oh, my Negaduck! Negaduck! While he panted and waited for his lover to continue his tongue bath, as soon as

Darkwing said those wanted words, Negaduct seized the hands access to his bottom. Bottom. The scientific anatomical term. With an expert's touch, Negaduck slowly penetrated his plumage so just between the feathers yeah yeah yeah

cool and touched his bare skin near his entrance and then slowly felt each of Darkwing's tail feathers it took a while

probing the entrance from the top side the hero closed his eyes and kept screaming Negaduck oh my Negaduck Negaduck I Oh, my Negaduck! Negaduck,

I want you so bad! And then, Achilles, Boots just pasted a section for you. As Negaduck rode Darkwing deeper and deeper, fully pounding against Negaduck's prostate.

Darkwing... Wrong! Incorrect! Hey, Lemon, are you telling me you know what's inside of a Negaduck? Well, you're right. You're absolutely right. I apologize. Yeah. I recant.

Thank you. Darkwing finally exploded into Negaduck, filling his... What made you stop? Something was filled. I would love to know what was filled. Filling his lover with hot white duck sauce. Yeah!

I came. I came I came Darkwing has never experienced A truly awesome Orgasm like he did with Negaduck tonight He looked deep into Negaduck's Lovely blue eyes

As he splattered his hot His hot glorious duck sauce all over his feathered chest and feet. Hey, Bump Girl, how many instances of duck sauce? I mean, I do love the cream cheese wontons. They are good with that.

I know, I'm suddenly feeling really hungry. You need to this little passage. Wow. This is truly the climax of the story. Two duck sauces. As Nega Duck held Darkwing's wrist tighter, he slowly licked his beak to get a taste of his new lover. And I have one more tiny, tiny little piece from here.

Bump Girl, there hasn't been enough dialogue written out of this thing. So Bump Girl, I've got some dialogue from the story that I just pasted in there. If you'll do me the favor of getting some distance between yourself and your microphone

and give us some dialogue here. Oh, my lord, my lord, Negaduck! Yes, yes, yes! I love you, Negaduck, you are my lord! Darkwing cried out as Negaduck repeatedly dove deeper and deeper into Darkwing's feathered bottom. Yes, Negaduck! I dream about you every night! I love you! Negaduck! Don't! Don't! Stop! Don't stop! Oh, please, don't stop!

The word bottom is in here nine times. That's not nearly enough. There is 207 exclamation points in this story. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. What did we learn from this story? I'm sorry, not the story in general, but just adult fan fiction. I learned that you shouldn't use anatomical terms in your fan fiction

because you would risk ruining the eroticism of stuff like hot white duck sauce. That would be a shame. That would be a shame. You know, just different styles I think are important. Exactly. You should let people shine, unless they're doing porn that you don't like, in which case that's a personal affront to you. Yeah. I like that they have a September donation goal of $350.

Yeah, for what? For which September? September 2014? September 2014 I learned that Harry Potter would be better if it were a completely different story and also a monster titorgy that's true

yeah I probably should have known that already it was a 27 part because he fucks them and then they join his harem he's like hey you want to join my harem no fuck fuck fuck okay yeah cool I do my Patronus is a jello mold because he fucks them and then they joined his harem. Right. He's like, hey, want to join my harem? No. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay, yeah, cool.

I do. My Patronus is a Jell-O mold. Can we do Jell-O shots with your Patronus? Can we do Patron shots? But yeah, I'm sure that would be a really fun and varied story With just the 27 big-titted girls And then finally closes with And then I had sex with them all together

And my mom Oh yeah And my no-longer-dead mom Who's young again Because I'm not, you know, know corrupted by this so it's fine i learned that the proper term for for blow jobs is licky licky jobs of males well only if there was a butt pirate or what was it? Butt stuffing. Butt piracy, butt filling. Yep.

Butt piracy. Butt stuffing. No, it was actually butt filling. Bump Girl had it. Butt filling. There's butt filling and butt piracy in Licky Licky Jobs of Males. Yep. I remember at one point, this was years ago, I remember at one point just sort of like you know just just just trying to find some nice jo material and just like being like annoyed at um uh the the sort of like lack of craftsmanship uh in all of this free

porn that i was finding uh and i was like how dare these people just like not be able to put together a paragraph and i'm like well because they're writing free porn for you, idiot. Just deal with it. And then that was the conclusion I came to. And I'm fine now. And we're all better for it. Exactly. Because we do kind of come back through like a lot of these things. We come back to this of like, well, why can't it be? It's because you're writing a jerk-off story just just lean

into it it's fine yeah i mean it's it's i mean we we cover a lot of bad purportedly erotic writing and this is the first time i've ever seen like an active attempt at self-help like like or like a like an attempt at oh we should make the bad erotic writing better like like there's usually no advice involved well if it helps i mean it's mostly bad advice and also like somebody says like we should make the bad writing better and the rest of them go nah i i I really like the, that we got the element of, hey, I have an idea that I think that, you know, I should, maybe

you can do it instead. In here as well. Like, I want to write a thing that you can write for me. You write it! Our website is always thefbl.us and then if you go slash merch, you can see all the merch that we have available.

All of our merch is limited edition, which means that we do it in short runs. And when it's sold out, it is there. The Ball Snake tattoos have finally, finally, finally sold out. Farewell, Ball Snake tattoos. So congratulations. A year and a half later. We've still got a bitch called Linda Tattoos and some other ones. We're actually going to have an internet passport coming online fairly soon.

And I won't give too many details away, but it's a magical device that will assign you a new fetish. So yeah, thfbl.usical advice. Magical advice that will assign you a new fetish. So yeah. THEFBL.US slash merch and other sites as well. Bye! Ball pit. Ball pit. Somewhere some villain schemes Darkwing Duck Anyway Darkwing! Darkwing Duck! Out of smoke and heat appears Anyway, let's start.

Well, fine. I'll close this Google image search for both Notch and the Vaping Senator. Man, what if Notch the Vaping Senator Oh god, I just got hives. That won't be the last time today. Yeah. Oh, no.

I'll be fine with the rest of it. What did you put on her microphone? Everything else is going to be... On her headphones. Well, uh... I'm a vaping senator. Fanfiction.org. Oh, yeah, yeah.