The F Plus - 296: SWORDS!!!

Episode Date: February 3, 2019

The world can be a scary place, and that's why the folks at BUDK Worldwide are there, day after day, to use that fear as a tool to sell cheap worthless crap to rubes with self esteem problems. We're here for the swords, but there's a lot of categories on offer here and it's easy to get distracted. This week, The F Plus opens the box and BAM THE FREAKING BANKAI SWORD OF ICHIGOS

uh are you determined to podcast tonight you're gonna be a podcast cat podcat podcat by shillelagh does your cat like swords I hope not

that'd be sort of a shame for the cat that'd be another thing like ham that he's never getting that he loves never getting. That he loves. Guys, I like swords. Guys, can we do something about this? I like swords.

Yeah. Hey, Alec, can we... Okay. I mean... Want to wrap that sword in spam? Yeah. Cut that ham with a sword. And so, it has come to this. The F Plus Podcast.

This terrible place where terrible things are read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Rangir. You haven't seen a mace like this before. The huge size and quality construction of this double mace will allow you to double down to go medieval on whatever crosses your path. Yes, Fahan. This is ergonomically designed to fit just right, and the eye look forward to next season, especially with a name like K-Bar behind it. Nutshell Gulag! Make your toilet brush a vibrant, eye-catching showpiece

in the Komoda shining example of your home decor, wizardry, with this quirky, undeniably cool, born-to-write toilet brush holder. Achilles Heelies! The wild bastard me granddad was bought the other fellow right in the tallywhacker, and the man screeched a repulsive sound and ran back to his cottage where he was never seen again. And Lemon.

Couldn't I just buy this at Lowe's? Yes. Yeah. Probably. Whatever it is, yes. Yeah. hey f plus hey everybody uh what's your survival plan Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, everybody. What's your survival plan?

I'm going to find somebody with a lot of food and water, and I'm going to stick them up. For this recording? It involves a baby Bjorn that I can put Tommy in. How tactical is your baby Bjorn? So tactical. Is it Molly compatible? You mean, does the Bjorn hold Molly?

Can you put MDMA in the Bjorn? That's all I need for the apocalypse. My cat and a whole lot of E. That's a better survival plan than I had. Honestly, yeah, that's not a bad survival plan. Just like apocalypse happen, just like roll on E until you starve to death. That's fine.

Separately from all of that, I have a document that I want to show you. And it was a document given to us very recently. And it was one that I immediately fell in love with. This was a document given to us by Cat Examiner. And thank you so much for that. And this document is one that I have entitled SWORDS!

I'll take S-words. I wonder what it's about. Yeah, exactly. So we're going to a site called Budka, B-U-D-K dot com. Budka, get the edge. And this is Budka, B-U-D-K dot com. Bud K.

Budka, get the edge. And this is an e-commerce site with a whole bunch of categories, such as knives and swords and ninja hyphen martial arts. And then they have an entire category called SHTF, as in shit hits the fan. Oh, yeah, yeah. As well as, yeah, exactly, as well as mystery deals. But we want to learn a little bit here about Budka, just to start off, please. So, Boots, I have a question for you. Would you tell us a little bit about BUDK Worldwide? Sure.

Just so you know, this was updated Septemberember 2nd 2012 that's good to know established in 1989 bud k worldwide incorporated offers you our valued customer the ultimate shopping experience ultimate ultimate all right yeah situated on 10 acres in the community of mool tree georgia our 85 000 square foot facility serves as the home for customer service, fulfillment, and the operations headquarters for the Bud K catalog. Bud K offers more than just any ordinary collectible.

Our product line consists of thousands and thousands of swords, knives, medieval weaponry, fantasy collectibles, air guns, blow guns, stun guns, and much, much more. Okay. Okay.

So I can't do this math. Is 85,000, that would be a huge warehouse, right? It's pretty big. Okay. Pretty big. Okay. Every Bud K product is backed by our ironclad 100% satisfaction guarantee. If for some reason you are not completely satisfied

with an item you have ordered from Bud K, you may return it within 60 days of purchase for a refund or exchange. Don't be fooled by cheap imitations. We are the real thing. We offer the hottest products at the lowest possible prices. If you find one of our products at a lower price,

we will match it, plus give you an additional 5% off. Price match does not apply to online advertisements and wholesale customers. Due to the nature of the products we sell, you must be 18 years of age to order from the Bud K catalog. When you purchase any merchandise from the Bud K catalog, you represent that you are of legal adult age and that the merchandise can be purchased and owned in your state, country, and or city or residence. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's good enough. Excellent. Well done. By offering merchandise for sale, Bud K does not represent or warrant that any specific purchaser may legally purchase, own, or possess the merchandise ordered.

Check your local laws! Oh my God, that's so good. That's so good. I'm going gonna start out a mail order weed company. And I'll say, by ordering, we're just gonna assume that you live in Vancouver, Canada, regardless of where we send it to. um okay so i think we should just dig in here um so we're going to start off with the real ninja equipment um and uh let's see well oh this is this is an interesting product so so achilles uh a the mere mere price of uh 29.99 will get you this product. And what is this product called? Well, it's taking its time to load.

It sure is. It's got to load all the tracking pixels. Yeah, for sure. Oh, Dot Type AO, you're looking at the Black Hornet Ninja Gear folding grappling hook. Oh, good. Good, uh-huh. Believe it. We introduced moving parts so that it's weaker.

Yeah. I'm going to start with some bullet points, I guess. That sounds good. Your ninja gear isn't complete without it. Four carbon steel talons lock into place on a hook. 33 feet of tough, baited nylon rope. Rated it for 800 pounds.

Might set up a trap with some cheese. That's a heavy grappling hook. It might even lift you. Compact and easy to carry. Pot description. What? Sorry? It doesn't really describe how big it is, so perhaps it does fit in your pocket.

Maybe. I mean, your utility kilt, certainly. Oh, God. Yeah, but then you climb up, and everybody underneath you is like, ah! That's a feature, though. See, now I wish we had Victor here,

so we could ask if he's had any patients come in with... Grappling hook stuck in asses? It's a grappling hook utility kilt injury. I hope so. Product description. This specially designed grappling hook folds down for compact, easy carrying. With a few twists, the four carbon steel talons can be locked into position, assuring a safe ascent. Best of all, it's rated to more than 800 pounds.

And, aw, 33 feet of tough braided nylon rope. Braided? Okay, braided. That doesn't sound as good as the baited rope. Yeah. There's a lot of reviews. Yeah, there sure is. My name's Bobby Meredith.

Oh, hey, Bobby. Hey, I gave this three out of five stars. It doesn't fold down as well as I thought it would. Has the tendency to bend if hooked at an odd angle. You know, the steel. The rope is difficult to climb. That's a shortcoming of the product. Why don't they make an easier to climb rope?

It should come with its own gravity. I would recommend a pair of gloves, but even then, it is challenging. Missed my target and broke the top bolt when it landed. Looks cool. You'll gain instant respect with your friends. I can picture Bobby Meredith unboxing this

and he's like, finally my friends will give me respect. When you hang upside down in front of their window. Until you try to use it for climbing and end up looking like a wuss? Great for other practical purposes? What?

Hanging mafia? No, I don't want to walk to the fridge, but I do want to open the refrigerator door. Hammock securing? Yeah. And then Achilles, your name is

Ismael Rodriguez this is a great item you just need to be a good thrower you have to throw it as straight as you can because the thing goes far the only thing I didn't like was the rope was too thin and like

the other reviews mentions this really hurts your hands. Hopefully the website can begin to offer some special gloves to use with the grappling hook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just need more shit to buy, and then I'll get my way through. Yeah.

And no, I don't mean to spike gloves. No, of course not. If you buy this item, ask about offering some special gloves. Maybe if they see that, a lot of people want slash need them. Maybe they'll begin to offer them. Anyway, I recommend this product to everybody. I'm sure they'd really appreciate it.

Well, that's, you know, Ninja Hook. I mean, that's great. That's great. That's great. But this document promised me swords, and God damn it, I want some swords. So, István. Sorry. Derek Gonzalez here, and I have an important review for this product.

Yes, Derek. What is it? Yeah, sweet. I'll be scaling walls and buildings with this. I'll even bungee jump off things with this thing. Awesome. Oh, no. Somebody explain to Derek what bungee jumping is before he tries it.

Good luck, dead person. It's fine. I don't weigh more than 800 pounds. Good point, good point. I'd like to point out this is from the Budka raw line of goods. That's why it hurts your hands to climb.

Yeah, it's the state of your hands after using the baited rope And for all the graphic designers out there Imagine what the word raw looks like And you're totally right Isfahan, I need to hear about some swords If I would Can you tell me something about

The secret agent tactical ninja sword With shoulder harness scabbard Okay Alright, this is the secret agent The Secret Agent Tactical Ninja Sword with Shoulder Harness Scabbard? Okay. Okay, alright. Alright, this is the Secret Agent Tactical Ninja Sword with Shoulder Harness Scabbard. Now why would you do that voice? What's up, Mr. Sexhaver? I don't understand what you mean.

Are you dishonoring me right now? Oh, I would never. I would never. Good. Because I go out. I would never. Good. Because I go out when I defend myself. Anyway. So this sword is $12.99. Yeah.

So you know it's quality. I know. At least a third of that price is for the 550 paracord. The handle's wrapped in. At least a third of that price is for the 550 paracord. It's the handles wrapped in. So it's a black single-edged sword. The full tang blade for strength while cutting.

It has a cord-wrapped handle, and it adds grip and comfort. And it includes a durable nylon sheath. Ooh, durable nylon. I'm familiar with that. It is Budka's number one selling sword. Okay, so the secret agent tactical sword is one awesome piece of steel. Yeah. The sleek full-tag design measures 27 quote marks overall. Yes, I know that's inches.

Shut up. With a heat-treated, black-baked finish. The blade features fantasy cutouts, which is so radical, man. Teeth-like serrations. A piercing point. And it slides smoothly into the included nylon sheath. The nylon cord-wrapped handle.

Yeah. The nylon cord-wrapped handle adds a sure grip for easy maneuverability. If there is a sword that screams to be picked up, this one is it. I am the cursed sword. Boots, what do you got?

Oh, I've got great-ish. Two out of five stars. It's great-ish. I bought one several years ago. As soon as I opened the package, I was a little let down. It was balanced well, but too thin for my liking. I used it mostly for hacking weeds and bushes in the yard. Worked great at that, but one hit up close to the handle, and it snapped in half.

Yay! $12.99. If they make a thicker one, I'd definitely buy another. That's not the problem with the sword. I kind of get that, because you thought you were buying a sword, but instead you got a stupid dumbfuck knife, I think. Wait a minute!

This site just has toys! What a surprise! And, Nutshell, you got Jeff Carllson best 12 star sword in the world very well my very light and sharp blade isn't that thick but for me that's a bonus tied into the mole webbing of my bug out bag adding little weight with a nice increase in capability i wrapped the grip in hockey tape this is an easy fix to the paracord issue that plagues swords in this category I'm not sure why people complain about the grips When it can be solved so easily

Heck, it's fun to just make your own Custom grips on these things I use the orange paracord, but that's just me A perfect utility sword For the backcountry So light you won't even know it's there That's cause it's made of pot metal. How did your guys' families deal with the paracord plague?

Well, you know. We just, you know, just hunkered down and lived through it. Yeah, you just, you know, you just try to move on. Look around if you find something in your house that either doesn't have paracord tied to it or is not wrapped in paracord. Then you got yourself a problem. Hey, I made the Deathstroke review

on the Twins set. This got five out of five stars. Okay. Yeah. The DC Comics character. Yeah. Okay. I wanted to give this product

a more thorough review. I am a martial artist with some weapons training. I bought six of these. I have training in weapons. Don't worry, when they break, I don't have to wait for shipping all over again. These blades are great machetes. I have one that I use and abuse to test its capabilities. To be good swords, they need a bit more steel on them in terms of thickness and weight.

And carbon content, I'm sure. More steel. The scabbards, like everyone else's reviews, are not very good. Which is why I didn't buy seven. I only bought six. Some of the blades are extremely sharp and cut through the stitching on both sides of the which is why i didn't buy seven i only bought six some of the blades are extremely sharp and cut through the stitching on both sides of the scabbard the rivets are the only things that keep them together if they were made from a stiffer material like glass

what i mean i mean the scabbards like glass filled nylon or leather they would be perfect glass filled nylon with molle system would be very useful as well some of the points were dull i re-sharped the edges and reshaped the points and they work great you know just really just just taking my my fucking my fucking walmart sword into the smithy shop um oh There's no sparks coming off of this as I sharpen it. I wonder why. It's just smoke. The wrapping on the handle is flimsy, but if you rewrap it and apply some heat,

it will harden the outside and prevent it from slipping and come undone. Melt the end where it is tied off to stop it entirely. The product still gets five stars from me. I enjoy using this blade. Just wish China didn't make them. Yeah, that's the problem.

Yep. The US would do a much better job. And sold for much more. I don't think this guy understands the point of this sword. Even though he reshapes it. Oh hey, I'm Air1C!

I've got a five-star review. I got a nice, solid, full tang! Okay. Nice sword! My son chose it over a conventional machete. Have not used it yet, though. We'll see

this weekend how it works. Not sharp out of the box, but a bit of file and light grinder to the edge. And it's sharp now. Steel is very hard, so a grinder was required. For the price, I would recommend it. What is going on?

What is going on with these people buying $10 plastic swords and then bringing them on a grinder's wheel? What do you mean? You cannot really go wrong. I haven't used it yet, but I reviewed it and gave it five stars. And Isfahan?

My name's Dakota Morgan. This is decent until you use it. Ooh, wow. That's sort of a CSI line right there. When I bought this, I was 10 years. I am 11 no. It broke within two weeks of use. Very light use.

I am disappointed greatly. Also, US Patriot, there's beef in the review section of this. Also, US Patriot, some kids like me know how to properly use a sword knife properly. So think before you type. I'm sorry. I guess we should have done this.

That's a fight against US Patriot because there's a slap fight in the review section. Don't let untrained people, no children, play with this sword. Hey, Dakota Morgan, did you check your local laws before you ordered this sword at 11 years old? It's fine. It's not any worse than lawn darts.

So Dakota Morgan was sitting at his computer and he saw those reviews that don't let children play with the sword. He's like, wait a minute. I'm a child. Just wait until US Patriot reads what I have to say. Hey everybody, are you looking for a sword?

Yes. That's cool. The last one broke. Yeah, it sure did, looking for a sword? Yes. That's cool. The last one broke. Yeah, it sure did. But for $19.99, you can get the anime surprise bag. Oh, dear. I got some bullet points for you. It's like gambling, except you always win.

That's not gambling. The buyer receives one anime sword valued at more than 60 or 50 dollars these are full-size steel swords no foam role play garbage in this bag buy more than one to collect them all unless you get the same sword Unless you get the same sword. Well, presumably there's two by that logic, right? It's like going to Vegas and dropping $29.99 on the roll of a dice. Wow, that's a problematic sentence.

Except this time you're always the winner. It's just a matter of how high a level of awesomeness do you achieve with this anime sword surprise bag. Somebody smother me with a pillow. You could receive your favorite anime character's weapon of choice. Or maybe it might be his lucky sword from

the last season. Regardless of which sword you receive, you'll definitely be getting a sword valued at more than $50 for only $29.98. It got one cent cheaper since my last sentence. It got one cent cheaper right after it got $10 more expensive. Oh, you're right. Oh, yeah, you're right.

It's $10 shipping. This is in flux. If you're feeling extra lucky, why not buy more than one? There's a slim to none chance you'll receive two of the same sort. And if you do, just give us a call and we'll swap it for a different one. It's like playing a game you can't lose. Which you already said. Yeah, but I said it in slightly different

wording. Get yours today before they're all gone. I want to see someone go to a craps table and insist on betting $29.99 on lucky sevens. Yeah. Okay, so let me get $20 in chips

$5 in chips Four ones I need three quarters Let's see, what else do we need? Okay, so Oh, man Hi, I'm Tyler Thorson Hey, what's up?

I've got to read this Oh, yeah. I bought this because it's only $20 right now. It used to be $30? And the free shipping to tip it off, I wanted anything other than the Link Sword, but I said, what the heck, $20 is worth it. I didn't get my hopes up, and when opening the box, I found other box. Took a deep breath and opened that box,

and bam, the freaking Bankai Sword of Ichigo's huge fan! Come on! Oh, no! I get that reference. Me too! Fuck me! Shame on you. I'm not afraid! And I definitely get another...

What? I can only dream of getting the Bankai Sword of Ichigos. That's a breaking one. Feels great, and I'm definitely getting another grab bag in the future. Oof. Also, by the way, the Master Sword is

not anime, and Frank West isn't here, so I had to say that. You just woke Frank West up. What are the... They just sat up in bed. Does it tell you what the options are that you can get? Like, is it like He-Man sword? Do you know what

anime sword this might be? He-Man's not anime lemon? Oh, God. I think if you just click on the category of anime swords, you can see all the ones that are available. Right, there is an entire category of anime swords. What are the options in the anime swords category booths? Well, you can get the Zelda sword with Scabbard.

You can get the Zelda shield and twin sword set. That's still not an anime. You can get the League of Legends red and black sword and sheath. The Nier Automata Virtua's Exorcist blue anime

katana sword. Does that one fit up to your credentials there? I think it would, yeah. Okay, good. Dark blue stripes gaming sword with sheath. Oh, that ain't to me. I think so, yeah. These things are so cheap.

These things are so cheap. Like, the Zelda shield and twin sword sets, these are swords, right? Like, allegedly, these are, are like working swords, and you get a shield and two swords for 30 bucks. That's fucking quality. I want to protect my family for $29.99. That's how much I care about them. Anyway.

Just waiting for somebody to invade your home so you can pull out your two swords and shield somehow. So we need to move on to some products that we can actually use. So in a nutshell, I just posted a link there. Thank you. I just posted a link there. God damn it, Lemon.

Yeah, of course. You're welcome. Yeah, no, I like to provide for you. So we need some products that we can actually use. What product do you have there? I have Brass Balls Keychain for $6.99. Cool. And it's literally like

just a pair of testicles. Yeah, it's like truck nuts for your keychain. Truck nuts on the go. Yep. Bullet points, just in case you need an extra set. Guaranteed to uncissify your keys. Solid brass instruction,

great realistic detail, includes keyring. You've heard of someone's truck having balls. Well, this is one step better. Now your keys can have balls, a set of solid brass balls, no less. A keyring is included, but these

brass balls don't have to hold keys. They're perfect if you simply need a second or first pair to conquer all those scary tasks you've been avoiding. And they're also great to keep around as replacements for when your wife has your own danglers in her purse or wherever she stores them. Wives, am I right, guys? Relax. This is one scrotum that's okay to have in your pocket. Wait, is that a common phrase? This is like, never

keep your scrotum in your pocket. In case you're in an accident. So if your friends give you shit and they're like, oh, does your wife have your balls in her purse? You'd be like, yeah, she does, but I also have these. So, joke's on you, asshole.

Now who looks dumb? Also, is sissy keys, like, is that a problem? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you don't have balls on your keychain, they get all frilly. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's terrible, I'm always cleaning, like, just ribbons and lace out of my

keychain constantly. The tufts on the corner kept whipping my ass until I got these balls on my chick keys. Hey, let me see. You still got them sissy keys? Now they just love my balls. Boots, take Kip there. yeah uh my name's kip awesome balls

i got two of these brass balls and i gotta say they are great i'm a biker so i hung one from my wallet chain that attaches to my belt loop when the girls see them yeah that's right they want to feel them a great teaser the real ones are just as hard a great teaser i also got a pair for my 18 year old son big hit with all his girlfriends great conversation piece now i'm gonna say this oh what are you gonna say my 21 year old daughter even wants a pair for her keychain lol smiley face this this dude's children like have like they have to see ophthalmologists every week because they're just constantly rolling his eyes every time he walks in the room or fucking says anything.

Listen, when you're a biker who's named Kip, you really gotta make up for things. This is the guy who, when somebody goes in the shower, he goes, like, don't get wet, and then he just slaps his own knee, like, laughing. Hi, I'm Art Miles. Oh, hi, Art. I have a five out of five for these brass balls. I'm very happy with this product. This is the

second pair I've ordered because my nephew saw them and it wanted a pair. Where is it that people have lived where they are unfamiliar with the concept of truck nuts but also think upon learning about them that it's great? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just an underserved market. That's's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah. It's just an underserved market. Like, that's the thing, is that, like, yes, of course, we, like, as sophisticated people of the world, we've been through our experiences with truck nuts, but, like, there's just not enough of them. They just haven't proliferated enough. My truck already had nuts and double nuts and the boob flaps, but now I had to get

the... The reclining naked lady mud flaps. Yeah. What do you got there, Nutshell? I got George Pedersen brass balls. Five out of five. Easy ordering and process and fast service.

Great product. My trike now has balls. Gave one to one of my brothers. Wait, how old are you? No, no, no, no, no. You're not thinking of it. You're not thinking of it. Picture this. Picture this.

The fucking thing that Kenny Powers drives. He's pounded down. Like the stupid electric zebra print tricy Down. Oh. Like, the stupid, like, electric, like, zebra print tricycle. Okay. Because I was thinking that's the kind of detail that Stephen King would add to The Shining, so... It was a different time, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reminder to the audience, don't read it. It's gross. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, don't, no. Yeah, absolutely, don't read it. It's gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, don't, no. Yeah, absolutely, don't read it. But do watch Eastbound and Down. Yeah, that's a much

easier recommend. Imagine some truck nuts on that trike. That section, once again, was called Real Ninja Equipment. This section is called I Can't Believe It's Not Illegal. Woohoo! And we're going to cut straight to this product description,

which this product description is the reason why I wanted to read this document. So this is a product called Lucille, and its full title is Lucille-Bar barbed wire wrapped baseball bat hyphen genuine hardwood stainless steel barbed wire hyphen regulation size comma 32 inches hyphen zombie apocalypse walker

undead dead walking TV television. They just narrowly avoided stringing those words together in a way that would replicate the name of the show that they're getting it on. Do you have to do keyword jamming in your own product description? I wouldn't think so. I wouldn't think so.

So then there's a picture of a guy holding this thing, which is a Walking Dead replica baseball bat looking the biggest fucking tool in the entire world. He's got a long leatherish looking trench coat on that has clearly just been unfolded and unpacked from its packaging. In time out from telling you about Bitcoin,

he wants to show you his jacket. I'm glad you described that to me because my eyes rolled all the way into the back of my head and I can no longer see the screen. So sorry. Hey, Achilles, you're missing out on this trench coat. Oh, no.

Yeah, so this will run you $46.99, but the list price of $70, which it's only listed here, so I don't know where that list price comes from, but the point is that you save 33%. As well suited to bashing in walker skulls as it is to display, this is an eye-catching, undeniably unique nod to your favorite TV series. Right? Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. This is the baseball bat that they used in Deadwood. Not a toy nor a cheap knockoff. It's an impressive 32-inch regulation-sized baseball bat made of solid, unforgiving hardwood. Lucille and all her bold, barbed wire-wrapped glory. Bat encircled by authentic, savagely spiked stainless steel barbed wire.

Seriously sharp barbs. This is perfect for man caves. Garages, workshops, zombie apocalypse themed decor. Yeah, you're just going to take that and stick it up there in your man cave. I said don't take the cover off the pool table! TV memorabilia collections. It's the bat that's not from that

show. And more. Menacing design, sure to draw gazes. That's true. Capture attentions and spark lively conversation. I'm going to tell you a little bit about Lucille. Lucille is a dirty girl. She doesn't take

any back talk from anyone. She will shut that ship down. And you'll be scraping zombies off the fence faster than you can say hilltop. More than a mere novelty and certainly not a toy what yes it's a toy okay all right didn't didn't the person in the tv show that have this usually just use it

to murder other people and not zombies yeah like yeah like one of the seals iconic scenes is a brutal murder of another human being well that's really cool then yeah this regulation size hardwood bat is wrapped in savagely spiked genuine barbed wire as though there's a it's as much at home smashing zombie skulls as it is resting on your mantle a bold eye-catching homage to your favorite television series don't pay more for cheap plastic and foam knockoffs. If I saw this on somebody's mantle, my first thought would not be that they were Walking Dead fans. It really is the quickest end to a Tinder date.

I mean, I got to say, like, it's a nutshell. You're on that first Tinder date. Right, yeah. Things are going well. Things are going well. You're back at his house, right? Because they've gone well. You had a good feeling about the guy.

Sure, yeah, yeah. And then you see this on his mantle, and one of two conclusions occur. Either he's a murderer, or he's a Walking Dead cosplayer. Which is more objectionable. I'm gonna go with being murdered, Lemon.

But the other one is a close second. You're just saying you just want to be murdered to just get it over with. No, no, I'm going to say murder is the worst option. You just don't want to live in a world where this is on somebody's mantle, is what you're saying. Sorry, my phone went off. Oh, is that a Tinder date?

It's Tinder. It's a Tinder notification. It just says, you up, baseball bat emoji. It's my favorite emoji. Generally, I will take a bad date over straight up getting murdered. So, yeah. All right.

All right. Well, just don't swipe right on Negan. Yeah. Fine. And, you know, so that's fine. People in the reviews are mostly just sort of upset that it's sort of gimmicky. Like, they're mostly, like, annoyed that it's, like, shoddy quality. Very surprised.

This is my favorite. Needs more coils of wire wrapped tighter and fastened to the bat somehow. If only there was a way for me to do that. If only I could buy a baseball bat and barbed wire. Well, that's the thing. I mean, both of these products are, I mean, things that you could definitely... Fuck. All right.

They don't sell baseball bats at the comic book store. God damn it. That's true. That's true. Anyway, that was a dumb product. So that's why we're going to be moving on to our next product. The next product. Achilles, what is the next product called?

Oh, that's the Blackthorn Shalala fighting stick. Oh, yay, it's a shalali. Oh, shalali. Yeah, my bad. I'm not that Irish. Yeah, and by the way, I'm not able to use this as the actual image, but if you just want to look at image number four there and describe it to the audience. Do they think Blackthorn is just a name for a type of shillelagh and not a

name of the type of wood that it's supposed to be made out of? I just assumed it was like a Dishonored reference or something. Oh, well, it's some guy that was a frat guy using this as a walking stick, I think.

His challenge has been in cargo shorts and flip-flops. I'll give you a right, good wallopin'. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so they needed a model to demonstrate the raw masculinity of the Shillelagh, and so the guy put on his cargo shorts and his flip-flops and modeled for us.

Yeah, and the thumbnail for the video is a guy named Scooter just fucking up a pumpkin. I think everybody who works for Bud K is named Scooter. I'm Scooter the Third. I am frequently attacked by pumpkins. This puts my

mind at ease. That's good. Why, you know, it's got the traditional shalala. Oh, I'm not going to do that. Oh, no. Traditional shalala fight and stick design. Mold and polyp propylene construction. Right, no. Traditional shalala, fight-and-stick design. Mold and polypropylene construction. Right, right. Like they had in Ireland. Just like in

Ireland. Impact-resistant faux wood cap. Yay! And it measures 37 inches overall. The self-defense experts at Nightwatchman have recreated the traditional blackthorn Shalala.

Fightin' stick in dramatic detail with a stunnin' Shalala fightin' cane. Oh, okay. So dumb. It's crafted in traditional Shalala design, complete with gnarled accents to emphasize the naughty quality of genuine Blackthorn wood. Which this is not made out of. Well, no. Right, but it emphasizes the thing that it's not. The thing that it's not has been properly emphasized.

It evokes the blackthorn wood of my youth. And this cane is made with molded polypropylene with an impact resistant faux wood cap. Your name is Shillelagh. This is kind of destiny that you got this product It's really hard to Google that on this page Sure it is

Shillelagh, it's in there, I promise Okay I gave this 4 out of 5 stars And my name is Shillelagh Great and classy cane Big fan of a clockwork orange. And hopefully I never have to use it that way. But a great cane.

Four out of five. Because I haven't gotten to test it that way yet. You mean on another human being. I'll give it a fifth star if it successfully kills somebody. He hasn't gone on a little bit of the ultraviolence. Yeah. I don't remember shillelaghs in the milk bar, but that's fine. Well, again, I mean, Alex has, like, I mean, because it has a dagger in it, but he basically has a shillelagh.

That's true. My name's Impact Resistant. You were also destined to get this product. Well, no, actually, that would be broken plastic garbage. I bought this, oh, five out of five stars, by the way. I bought this as a poor, impromptu

weapon for the few times I can't be better armed. And of course, I wanted to give it a workout, forward slash break- in, forward slash field test. I didn't want to do what's been done. I can smash melons with my hands and feet! Just so strong and manly. Yeah, cinder blocks just really aren't that tough, parentheses, YouTube children's karate.

What? I'm talking about my masculinity. Yeah. And shitting on kids. How many brass balls you got on your keychain? So many. I sort of have like a a a bandolier of brass balls that I wear around

I assume you collect them from your fallen enemies loot corpse two brass balls you pull the brass balls out of the bandolier and fling them forwards like they're ninja stars which you also have tons of so I really wanted to test the stick so I went out to test the stick, so I went

out to my solid concrete back porch and just wailed upon the concrete, doing my best to dislodge the faux wood cap. About 25 overhand blows. The cap now has some

seriously tiny scratches on it. Note, smooth concrete porch. That's right, I'll brag on my porch too, what the fuck? It's made out of the same plastic as my shillelagh. Not a porch, that's just a sidebar. Could you imagine being this guy's neighbor and just looking out your window and seeing him just

like, banging on his concrete porch, undecorated, just with a stick? I can totally imagine one of my neighbors doing that. Well, there it is true, yeah. The stick is fine. The porch is fine. Anything that got stuck that got between the stick and the porch would not have been fine.

The polypropylene tested out to be tougher than hickory or mesquite. I have a stick collection. Of course you are, because you're a golden retriever. Nice typing. I love these guys so much. PP's are real strong plastic. It's true. Drop it.

They make chairs out of it. Yeah. I have a stick collection. By the way, this might be Tucker Carlson, actually. Drop it. Get chairs out of it. Yeah. I have a stick collection. By the way, this might be Tucker Carlson, actually. By the way, the balance on this walking stick is excellent. There's two to three good pivot points down the shaft. I only wish I had a cold steel version to do a side-by-side comparison. And for people who don't know, Cold Steel also makes shit like this,

but probably not as bad shoddy quality. Probably not. I mean, maybe. I mean, those things look like garbage, too. I think a steel shillelagh would really fuck people up. Cold Steel's the group that has, like, the thing with, um... With, uh...

Fuck, what's that martial arts guy? The really fat guy in cargo shorts that cuts the soda bottle? Well, he's not a product demo. He's just a fan. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah.

Oh, Steven Seagal, though. Steven Seagal did stuff with Cold Steel. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, I can see him being a Cold Steel guy. Yeah, that's who I meant. That's the other fat martial artist I meant. Cargo shorts, yeah. See here, Cold Steel also sells a plastic shillel. Carter shorts, yeah. See here, Cold Steel

also sells a plastic shillelagh. Oh, good! How much is the Cold Steel shillelagh? It's $50. Okay. Alright, so this is a pretty fair side-by-side comparison at that point. Well, that's exciting.

Okay, I don't know. Okay, either this doesn't work, or I don't know why this isn't illegal. Okay, so here's a product, and it's $120. And Isfahan, tell me about this $120 product, please. Okay, let's just see what this is. Oh. What the fuck is this, Islaan? It looks like a bunch of steel pipe.

It's a pipe shotgun. No, it's a zip. They're selling you a zip gun. Okay. They're selling you the worst gun from Fallout 4. Yeah. It's the thing you drop like 20 minutes into the

game. You no longer need it. But anyway. It's the thing you drop, like, 20 minutes into the game. You no longer need it. But anyway. It's a DIY survival 410 shotgun kit. Partial kit, quick assembly and breakdown. Made in USA. No FFL required. It says made in USA because they went into a Home Depot and bought all of this black steel pipe off the shelf. The Chinese-made black steel pipe off the shelf. The Chinese made black steel pipe, yes.

If you can legally carry a firearm, you can build and carry the Popo 410 shotgun. And the best thing of all is that there is no FFL required to purchase this kit. Can you make your own gun legally? And then use it?

I don't know. Well have to be a manufacturer doesn't there have to be like a like a serial number on it oh that's only if you're gonna sell it okay but here's the thing though all that's addressed in the bullet points yeah okay okay sorry it's not a gun until you assemble it. Oh, fun. What they ship you is a bunch of fucking steel pipes, like I said. So anyway, this high-quality, proven design, partial shotgun kit. See, that's the thing. They're not selling you a shotgun. They're selling you a partial shotgun kit.

Oh, that's awesome. I'm glad that this happens. It includes the barrel, firing pin, safety pin, and detailed illustrated instructions. It assembles and breaks down in minutes, which makes it very effective as a discreet weapon for personal protection wherever you are.

It's like, so it's like you're getting attacked. Hold on, let me assemble these pipes. Put a shotgun shell in it. You need to weld and solder this together. No, you put it in your toolkit when you're going down to that crowded location that you decided to shoot up today. And you can assemble it in the bathroom. The compact shotgun sight base is machined to fit a weaver-type sight, which are not included. And the kit parts are made in the USA.

Current federal laws state that if you build it yourself, you do not have to register it or put a serial number on it. There you go. Yay! Which is true, but... Yay! But as soon as it becomes a gun, you can't give it to anybody else or sell it,

because then you're super breaking the law. Okay. Under federal law, product description, and as all good product descriptions do, it begins with the words, under federal law, you're on. Oh, my God. Okay, that's...

Oh, Jesus, that's enough of this product. But more importantly, this item cannot ship to the following states. Maryland, Connecticut, Vermont, Rhode Island, Illinois... Delaware. Delaware, Hawaii, Florida, New Jersey, New York, Washington, Massachusetts, California, New Hampshire, Washington, D.C., and Iowa. Woohoo! Oregon's fine!

Ontario seems to be okay. Probably. Oregon's definitely fine. Absolutely, Oregon's fine! Ontario seems to be okay. Oregon's definitely fine. I would like to point out, you could just buy a 12-gauge from Dick's Sporting Goods for $80 more. You could probably... But $80, man! You could probably get actual shotgun parts at a gun show

here and assemble it yourself. I don't get the fun of crafting, then. How am I going to level up? Crafting is big. That's true. That's a high price to pay for not potentially fucking up and having this thing blow up in your face. So the cliff notes of this product description is

they sell you the firing pin, the parts that would make up the quote-unquote chamber, and then you go to the hardware store and you buy the steel pipe. Oh, good. But yeah, you're building a zip gun. That's the whole thing. You put it...

You stick a 410 shotgun shell at some part of this barrel and you have a crude mechanism which pushes the firing pin into the primer and blows it up. At that point, you basically have a pipe bomb that you're holding on to.

Yeah, you have a pipe bomb that you haven't sealed off. That's pretty much what it is. Perfect for discreet personal protection or hunting. Oh no, there's a deer really close to me fucker got right up on my grill uh nutshell um i have this uh this product it's a uh it's a some sort of smartphone oh what's the smartphone about uh it's a night Watchman faux smartphone stun gun. LED flashlight, loud alarm,

safety switch, USB cord. 14 million? Million. Volts? Million. 14 million volts. You're ready for that Tinder date now. Oh boy, yeah. Yeah, you are. Ooh. Love to electrocute people on the first date. Um.

Hey, why do you have two phones? You know, i've i've mostly dated conservative girls they usually wait till the third question all right it's 1999 and this uh phone smart smartphone stun gun is the perfect hide in plain sight self-defense weapon with a shocking output of 14 million volts. That's right. Seems like a lot. 14 million. Is that a lot? Seems like a lot.

Hey, I'm an electrical engineer. I'm going to tell you that's a lot. Okay. Okay. Are we talking like... Thanks for your expert opinion. Is that like death penalty levels of electricity? Is that heart-stopping amount?

It's... Well, voltage isn't what necessarily does that, but... Would it burn you at that point? I'm just going to say that's impossible, so don't worry about it. The integrated LED flashlight provides a convenient source of light, and the ear-piercing alarm is a great deterrent to an assailant. Let's say you want the flashlight, but you press the wrong button

and you just get an ear-piercing alarm instead. To prevent accidental discharge, two levels of safety have been built in. A functional off-on switch and a shock control button. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be safe, there's a button. There's a button, yeah.

There's two buttons. It's powered by a rechargeable lithium polymer battery, which charges using the included USB cord, and it has an indicator light. 14 million volts charges off USB. At only 5 2 5 inches by 2 3 5 inches, you can

carry or conceal this stun gun anywhere you would normally carry your smartphone. This item cannot ship to the following states. Massachusetts, Michigan, Hawaii, Hawaii, New Jersey,

Rhode Island, Wisconsin, New York, and Pennsylvania. You won't believe how real it looks. Yeah, it's the perfect hide-and-play-in-sight self-defense weapon. Boots, I want you to take the one and only review of this product. It's by Tom Williams. Better than nothing. Five out of five stars.

I purchased this for a granddaughter. A lot better than nothing at Five out of five stars. I purchased this for a granddaughter. That's just a lot better than nothing if it's five out of five stars. I purchased this for a granddaughter that has a job that deals with some not real nice people, but her employer does

not permit her to carry a gun for self defense, even though she has a lifetime concealed carry permit issued from her state by the state police. Look, they're just kindergartners, okay? Yeah, but they get rowdy. This item works for its intended use, and she carries it with her at all times.

Just sparking the electrodes should be enough of a deterrent to stop anyone from doing harm to her, but she can actually shock a person if need be. It works flawlessly and is good weapon for self-protection that isn't obvious and is definitely better than nothing at all. As I said, five out of five stars. My name is Tom Williams. I am a stable person. I wrote this 16 days ago. I bought this 16 days ago. Well, thanks.

I bought this for someone else. I assume it works perfectly. Five out of five stars. Yeah, we're done. Boots, what did you find just now? Oh, they've got a two-for-one deal on blowguns. Cool. How much is two blowguns?

$10. Oh, that's way cheaper than I got my blowguns. $5 blowgun. It's got sort of beads on it or something. That's fun. Very nice and shiny. Okay, so in this document, there's a bunch of sections, as I said. They do have a blog, by the way, which we just skipped over, but just know that they have a blog.

Two of the things that Cat Examiner here put in the document were seven alternative ways to use a drone, and what is your knife superstition? We were just in the I can't believe it's not illegal category and the category after that is called bullshit. This is totally illegal. So there's some amoxicillin

for your fish. For your fish. Right, exactly. Yes. You saw what I did with my fingers there. It's amoxicillin for your fish. For your fish! Right, exactly. Yes, yes. You saw what I did with my fingers there. It's a Moxillin for your fish. Sure as shit ain't for that chlamydia. Anyway, so that's pretty good. And then there is a

10-gallon large copper Oh, you know what? I gotta tell you a little bit about it. There's a 10-gallon large copper moonsh, you know what? I gotta tell you a little bit about it. It's a 10-gallon large copper moonshine still. Sorry. The mox is selling for your fish. It's called fish mox. Yeah. Okay.

It's all in how you sell it. So anyway, it's a moonshine still with upgrades. It's gonna cost you the low price of $899. It's made of heavy gauge copper, and it's leak-proof. Yeah, that's about it. This is the best time to buy your own natural survival tool. The 10-gallon distiller's copper still. You know, for purifying water.

Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If the apocalypse hasn't killed you, then our booze will. The distiller's unit produces so much more than just moonshine. Really? Be sure to tell the revenuers that when they come a-calling. Okay. And you're getting a still that has Cadillac upgrades.

You can use it to salinate salt water and purify fresh water, make essential oils, perfumes, and antiseptics, make marinades for meats and poultry, and even manufacture ethanol fuel to run engines or heat your home. I sure do love using

the same thing that I've been using to make marinades and ethanol to purify fresh water. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. It's got your lavender oil in there. It's real good.

Just, just tasty, tasty gasoline. Due to the handcrafted nature of this product, it can take up to four weeks to ship directly from the manufacturer to your door. This is a ready to use complete kit, which includes the pot,

a 50% larger worm with two hose bibs, a 50% larger thumper with a bigger drain plug, even more coil spins, and a cap with a temperature gauge. Still is unpolished, but a polishing kit is included. Returns are not allowed for this item! An additional product they sell is

under the category of survival books, a beginner's guide to moonshine distilling folding guide. It's a fold-up pamphlet they charge $8 for. The handy guide is 8 1⁄4 by 4 inches when folded, and 21 3⁄4 inches by 4 inches when folded and 21.75 inches by 4 inches when completely open. If it burns red, don't

drink it. If it burns blue, knock yourself out. Which will definitely happen. One of the related products I saw there was the silver fishing pen. It is a rod and reel that is the size of a pen.

So it works great. There's a section called Wait Food Really? Which has survival bacon and survival tabs vanilla and also some canned powdered butter.

So that's fun. Uh, but I'm skipping all of that stuff because I need to go to this section, this final section. And this section is called crystals. Ooh, what? Yeah.

What? Wait, what a strange intersection between like survivalist kooks and new age woo. So, Budka has an entire category of crystals. Boots. Boots, what's this product called? This is the Sacred Geometry Set. Why are you doing this to boots?

I know, weird. tree set. Why are you doing this to boots? They're not weird. Oh, fuck you. Contained in this are the fire, earth, air, and spirit and water stones. It represents the five platonic

solids. Amethyst stone construction includes wooden storage box. Use these sacred geometry stones in energy work reiki chakra balancing cleansing meditation feng shui fuck whatever you want i don't care when working with dreams oh and in all healing and ceremonial rituals. It includes five stones in wooden storage box. So, Boots, do you want to describe this or should I? You will describe this.

Okay, it's D&D dice without the numbers. Nice. It looks like you can roll a crit with one of these, but yeah. Yeah, so there's literally a four-sided dice, a six-sided die, an octahedron, a dodecahedron, and an icosahedron, yes. But there's no numbers on them. They look dice-sized, too. Yeah.

And the first review, Kevin there gives it four out of five and says, I got them engraved, and they've been nice for Dungeons & Dragons. Well, fucking, you could save a step, asshole. Yeah. But I guess it wouldn't cleanse. Those things don't cleanse. These have been infused with whatever Boots just said. Whoa. Isfahan, read Matt. Matt with one T.

Matt with one T. Hi, I'm Matt with one T. I was writing my name and got tired. It gives mystic powers even to non-believers. The product is well constructed along with the beautifully crafted wooden box.

I immediately sensed its power as soon as the UPS delivery pulled up in my driveway. The guy in the brown outfit was glowing. I think this guy's taking the piss a little bit, honestly. I don't know about that. I felt it even more after I received it

and opened the box. My chakra has never been stronger. I am now able to withstand a lot of pain while holding these in my hand, mostly from my back and hips. Using a 12-ounce ball peen hammer, I struck my right hand with full

force. I hardly felt anything. It was probably because I was having a heart attack at the time. I will try to test its power some more, and will submit a new review soon. And unrelated to that, Matt with two Ts also did a review. Oh, hey.

I'm Matt with two Ts and I've got a great piece of science. The illustrations are nicely done, giving a full 3D perspective on each shape, along with physical amethyst crystals that give a simplistic yet complex examples of the order that takes place in all matter, energies... Simplistic yet complex, okay.

Yeah, simplistic yet complex examples of the order that takes place in all matter, energies, and the matrix of space-time. A must for any aspiring scientist, as they're the blueprints of creation and the universe. You guys! And the other review is by a guy

named Matthew. So there's Kevin, Matt, Matt, and Matthew. Also, have we pointed out what the category of this is no we haven't what is it it's under uh cool stuff subcategory toys which also under cool stuff subcategory toys is pull pin smoke grenade. So, yeah, you know, I mean, whatever,

whatever it is you're looking for. This is the tiger eye obelisk. It's going to cost you a $9 and 98 cents. This symbolizes the powers of vitality and action. It's handcrafted of genuine tiger eye, which I must be something else. Expertly shaped stone. It's a pocket-sized

obelisk, and it's three and a half to four and a half inches tall. That's quite a variance. You can ward off negative forces in your life with this beautiful tiger eye obelisk, thought by the ancient Egyptians to be a tower of protection and defense.

Get out of my room, Mom! The second demonstration picture, it looks like they just photoshopped the tiger eye in front of somebody's Windows 95 screensaver. Yeah, it's a music visualizer. Yeah, Winamp is running in the background. This miniature obelisk was handcrafted of genuine tiger eye. Now you can easily disperse negative

energy from your environment wherever you go. Related categories, a bear holding toilet paper, crystal skull vodka, a mace, and gaudy necklaces. Nice.

That's some steampunk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's some steampunk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a steampunk trinket box that seems like a heart. Actually, Achilles, there's a review there by Raphael93 of this obelisk. Oh, hello. I am Raphael93. Oh, hi. It's beautiful.

It's a beautiful piece of stone, and I feel a sense of peace ever since I have it in the house. The only problem was that my obelisk came broken in half. Yours arrives just like mine's. Put it back together. Look at how it's broke, and put

lots of crazy glue, and it holds it good. Thanks for the expert advice on using glue, Raphael. I recommend it. Thank you, Budka. Budka. Very good.

And, of course, that was just a three-and half inch to four and a half inch stick for $10. And that's great. And that's great. I like that. Except for I wish that I could pay more for a stick. Nutshell, do you have a stick that you can sell me? Yeah. Oh, good.

Okay. So it's the Seven Chakras Organ Massage Wand. Okay, that's not what I'm familiar with a massage wand being, but okay. Feel the power of being in harmony? Acrylic case, organite pieces, seven chakras are represented, designed for massage therapy, and overall overall length Four and a half inches Product description The key to balance and harmony

Within your body and mind Is having clear and positive energy Flowing freely through your seven chakras And then buying a fucking sword Killing motherfuckers A morning star Our seven chakras Organ massage wand sword killing motherfuckers. A morning star. Our seven chakras,

organ, massage wand can help you achieve that as organite helps balance and harmonize this energy. The wand is crafted of genuine organite crystals representing the seven important power points encased in a sturdy acrylic which is specifically designed

for massage therapy. And that's where it cuts off the document. Yeah, so it's multicolored aquarium rocks in acrylic. Yeah. That's what you get, multicolored aquarium rocks in acrylic. Sadly, there are no reviews at this time. That's true. So the last thing I wanted to talk about here is just the site in general, because it's pretty wide-ranging.

There's a lot of things on this website. And Boots, I saw that you were looking around there at different things. What sort of things did you find that you wanted to share? Oh, I want to talk. I just want to. I found there's the bullet floor lamp with rustic lampshade. Cool. It's.

It is. Like, what is the height of this thing? It kind of seems like they bought out some of SkyMall's stock and just kind of pushed it in there. It's a five foot high-high bullet-shaped lamp. So that's that. Is that? That's definitely that. There's the Confederate flag saddle bank,

which looks like a saddle in the design of a Confederate flag on a stump, but it's a piggy bank. It adds colorful charm to any space. Here's the one I just found, which is the Tomahawk Axe Necklace.

Wow, really fuck that. That's not offensive at all. Fucking fuck that. Fuck that a lot. It's $7! $7! Mm-hmm. It's extra crafted from a metal alloy in

vintage theater color. Have you ever wanted to cosplay as the least popular Mortal Kombat character? Because now you can. I noticed that you found a coin there. Is that right? Oh, I did. Yes, right. you found a coin there Is that right? Oh I did, yes, right

I found a It's a patriotic American Punisher coin It says Punisher of Evil And it has the Punisher logo In front of the American flag It says U.S. Counter-terrorism force Which is a belief

Yeah And on the back of it counter-terrorism force, which is, I believe... Yeah. And on the back of it it has that Ezekiel 2517 thing that... That, uh... It's the most superficial challenge coin ever created. What was a lot of coins?

Yeah, I was looking there in the toys section. The thing that had the D&D dice that are good for your soul. So there's obviously the smoke grenade, as you pointed out. There's that. Then there's, like, fake shotgun shells with the Skynet logo on it. So that's fun. There's a switchblade comb,

a couple different versions of that. There's some cracker jacks, and then there's a fidget spinner, but it's made out of knives. Yeah, this really is like the online version of a flea market. There's an entire discreet section just for nunchaku.

There's an entire discreet section just for nunchaku. There's leopard hardwood white nunchaku. They're white lacquered nunchaku with, like, a fucking leopard airbrushed on them. And that's it. Yeah. 15 bucks. Have you ever wanted to own a longhorn Bull Skull that was emblazoned with a Confederate flag? Because $27.98 gets you closer to that. Also, do you remember the point where I said that, you know, make sure that it's legal for you to buy the thing that I'm selling you?

Yeah. Because I have the Organibus an uplifting nasal inhaler. It is a nasal inhaler that is an inhaler of CBD. So that's marijuana in an inhaler format in your nose.

I'm just assuming it's legal for you to have that. There's no THC in CBD, so come on. Oh, okay, fine. I live in California. I know these things. All right, all right.

Very good. There's a jade arrowhead. That'll run you 20 bucks. that'll run you 20 bucks a bunch of plastic skull shapes did anyone else find anything oh you know the thing that I found the other day when I was looking at this is

and I don't I'll try to find it here but they sell they sell mystery bug out bags right in an emergency They sell mystery bug-out bags, right? Oh, because that's what you need when you're bugging out. Right. In an emergency, it's good to not know what's in your bag.

Yeah, so for, and there's different sizes, obviously, of different bug-out bags. But yeah, so for somewhere between $50 and $300, depending on how much you want to spend, they'll give you a bug-out bag with, you know, stuff in it. So, you know, if you're looking to, you know, if you need to bug out and then all of a sudden, like, you need some sort of travel risk, that might be in there.

What did we learn from any of this, F-Plus? I mean, I guess I had to be prepared for a shit hits the fan kind of situation. Did we learn that? Are you sure we learned that? A lot of ninja swords in the post-apocalypse, you know?

I guess I learned that, like, the bullshit that I got as a kid in the country from dicks could have come to me for a similar price from the internet with less quality control? I don't know. I just don't.

It's fucking. It is surprisingly cheap. Like all of the stuff in this catalog. They have an entire fan swords category because there's obviously the ones that we were talking about before. But there's like the sword from Game were talking about before, but there's the sword from Game of Thrones that the White Walkers carry. That's in here.

And it's all really cheap. It's got to be of questionable license status, too. Oh, I'm sure. I mean, it's got the full-on Lord of the Rings logo. Yeah, the Lord of the Rings logo. Do you not think they have the license for the fighting knives of Legolas?

Yeah, well, I'm saying whatever factory they're wholesaling this from does not have the license for the fighting knives of Leg of legolas well i guess you better check your local laws do you think that do you think that there is uh so if there's the uh if there's the venn diagram of like people that want to like sell shit to like survivalists uh people and then there's like the people that just want to rip off suckers like is there any split in that Venn diagram like I mean because every time I've seen somebody that's trying to sell shit to these people they're just absolutely selling them fucking snake oil garbage

is that the case 100% of the time do you think I guess I guess it's lucrative I guess there's a market for people who just want the rush of buying cheap shit and being like, oh, okay.

Well, I mean, if you were a real survivalist, you'd already be a blacksmith anyway. I mean, who wouldn't want an ice scraper that has the same handle as a K-Bar knife? I learned that I spent most of this episode trying to figure out where the brass knuckles are. Oh, you mean the paperweights boots?

Finally found them in the section paperweights. Boots, you're not an American. You're not an American. Brass knuckles are paperweights. Okay, I didn't. I learned this now. Yeah, for some reason, it's always been the thing that's illegal and so every military supply shop sells paperweight right uh yeah i uh i guess i mean i guess that's the thing is that like all these

like sort of survival prepper things like they're just really excited to like they're just really excited to like think about that thing and so really the end the end goal is buying crap yeah i'm just gonna buy the crap i'm gonna go yay i have the crap oh if i had this other crap could you sell me gloves for crap gloves for the crap i just bought keeps cutting my weak hands. That's actually pretty revealing. They don't even consider buying gloves from some other site. They're like, I can only

buy stuff from Bud K as my lifestyle permits. I can't purchase barbed wire gloves or anything from Amazon. Not if you're a patriot. That's what filthy liberals do.

And if you want to buy some crap, you should go to thefpl.us. What sort of crap can I buy on thefpl.us? Probably just stickers. I think you'd buy more than stickers. I am positive by the time that this episode launches, there will still be internet passports to sell. Oh, that's right. You. And we'll also have fetish catchers.

Mm-hmm. And then hoodies, maybe. Hoodies, maybe. But if we do have hoodies, they're probably just going to be in large size at this point. And they're good. They're very comfortable hoodies. Very comfortable. They're really good hoodies.

Really good hoodies. Okay, bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. Blackness comes tonight's the night Please go the right

Cause you're under the blade Oh, you're under the blade Why is Bunny Bird attacking that little girl in the trunk? Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Hey, come on, baby. Give him back my drone. I like that your bunny bread basically sounds like Sugar Bear. Bunny bread just can't get enough of that golden crisp.

Can't get enough of that golden crisp.