The F Plus - 297: Aliens & Autism

Episode Date: March 3, 2019

While technical writer Michael Menkin may not be an accredited scientist, he is a man of science. One scientific field interests him in particular, and that's the field of sewing plastic bags to the insides of a leather aviator softcap in order to prevent thought-rays from hostile aliens who want to give you autism. It's a specialized field, but he's written a lot of papers on the subject. This week, The F Plus has been manipulated by the greys to find this funny, but please do not be fooled.

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🎵 🎵 🎵 Hello, F+, says Lemon. Oh, hi! How's it going? You're gonna really rush me into this thing? God damn it, Lemon. I'm sorry. Do the rest of you have somewhere else to be?

Am I keeping you from something? This episode was brought to you today by ThoughtScreenZoom. ThoughtScreenZoom is not a shield, but it can help you make your own. Go to any of the crazy websites listed in this episode for details. Tracked in the skies, what am I to do? Brothers from another planet, y'all know the truth Hello there, this is a very important message from the F+, which as you well know is a terrible place. There's terrible things, but they are red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Cumplusop.

The mental blast came ahead of even the first word, but the gray lensman supremely ready was already in action. One quick thrust of his chin flicked off the thought screen. Nutshell, Gulag. Shoot them down, the flying saucer airwarriors of 1952. Boots, Reingear. As a layman, I don't have access to any type of scientific testing, so I can only try to interest

scientists and have them obtain real evidence. Jack Chick. Once the helmets were properly grounded and the ground wires were insulated from touching any part of the house with rubber insulation, all of the buzzing noises heard by the abductees ceased.

Mr. Jantos! I went to Children's Hospital in Seattle to tell parents about my work, and I was kicked out. Jeez. And Lemon. Commit cold-blooded murder, like Nazis during World War II. They only follow orders. Hatred, hatred. A crucifix is your bed.

Once he turns his eye on you, you'll be better off dead. Anthrax is a good band. Permashave. What is it? Condomage. What is it? Condomage. What is it? Cotton mosh. What is it? Cotton mosh.

What is it? Cotton mosh. What is it? Cotton mosh. Hey, F+. Oh, hello. Hello. Oh, hello. There. Oh, hello.

There's a bunch of you in here right now. That feels very uncomfortable. I feel affronted. Very crowded. I feel nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I got to ask you a question, F+. Would you like to talk about aliens and autism

i would okay i'd like to talk about at least one of those things like aliens that have autism wow okay so your trepidation of this thing makes me all the more engorged. So I'm going to take you to a URL that I think you might find very fun. And that URL is aliensandchildren.org. That's aliensandchildren.org. That's aliensandchildren.org. Children's encounters with real aliens from space. It's encounters from real aliens and children from space.

This was a document very, very recently given to us before this episode was recorded by Cheapskate. And I looked at this thing, and I was excited about this episode for reasons that will be apparent in scant moments. Yeah. So, yeah. So we're going to spend our time on this website, aliensandchildren.org. and children dot org. And, you know, I don't know where to start exactly with a website other than the homepage itself. Hey, Boots. Hey, Lemon.

You're looking at this web page here. You're looking at aliens and children dot org, children's encounters with real aliens from space. Yeah. And what's going on on this page right now um well it's uh it's got a nice you know clean little uh gray black and white sort of style to it there's sure sure there's some crayon drawings there's the uh the autism pin for some reason yep yep there's the Twitter logo from 2012. The autism ribbon, yeah.

And what does that Twitter logo instruct you to do? Oh, it says, ooh. It says, tweet your autistic child's wandering and possible alien abduction. Yeah. Do it. Do it. Autistic. Just fucking try.

Yeah. It's like a potsticker, but an autsticker. I don't think I want to eat that. All right, so what's going on on this homepage? There's a lot of things. Yeah, there's some text. Want me to read the text at the top of this? I sure do.

I really, really, really do. Children's drawings of alien encounters and how they relate to autism. Okay. The autism epidemic and alien abductions may be connected i came to that conclusion after working with abducted parents and their abducted children for 12 years did you many parents who were abducted had autistic children this website shows drawings made by children who were abducted and connects the cause of the autism epidemic to aliens from space. Finally.

Okay, good, good, good, good. Okay. When autistic children wear a thought screen helmet or a neuro hat every day. Oh, my God. A what? Oh, boy. Oh, paragraph two. Hello.

Oh, yeah. They remember their abduction experiences and their behavior improves. Children who made these drawings were declared hopeless autistics in 2000. They wore their helmets every night for 10 years, up to 2010. Now, 2018, they are both college students. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Thought screens have a healing effect and may help autistic children. See my medical hat site, neurohat.org. Ooh, another website. Please. Yes, that sounds great. Please contact this website if your child makes drawings similar to those shown.

Such drawings may provide indirect evidence of aliens abducting children and the cause of the autism epidemic. Okay, so... There is no there is no malicious software spyware spam virus or any other destructive software on the site right i mean i so so uh 21 points of of uh disconnect.me disagree um about your spyware on the site um But that's fine. Boy, you've sure got a lot of ad networks. But that's fine.

We're going to skip past the NBC interview with Mother Child and Inventor and go straight to the Space Shuttle video. Boots, can you tell me about the Space Shuttle video, please? Yeah. The second video was made by a bay-mounted camera

on the Space Shuttle and was obtained by the Freedom of Information Act. It shows alien spacecraft in a thunderstorm over Florida. Look and listen to the video as I tell you how to get the same video from NASA for free so you can check and see its authenticity for yourself. Wow, that sounds great. Hey, Jack Chick, I got a question for you here. So here I am on aliensandchildren.org, and I'm excited.

I'm seeing a lot of charcoal drawings. I'm learning a lot about myself. And here's what I want to know. Why do aliens abduct humans? The mystery of the aliens' little black box. Why aliens abduct humans. For years, there were accounts of alien encounters where the aliens showed a little black box to humans. The aliens held up the box and pointed to it, then returned to their spacecraft and left.

That's a bad mission. I feel like you didn't really accomplish your goals at this point. Hey, check it out. I got a PS4. It's a PS4 Pro. People having such encounters wondered why the aliens did not try to communicate with them further. The contents in the little black box remained a mystery for decades thanks to investigators such as bud hopkins and dave jacobs we now know what is in the box the box contains a live fetus of a hybrid which is part human and part alien showing the box is an act of triumph The aliens plan to colonize Earth with their new race and replace the human race by showing the box.

The aliens are demonstrating they have succeeded in creating a replacement for the human race. So if the aliens are Nelson Muntz? After aliens take either sperm or eggs from human, depending on their sex. Yeah, whatever you got. Whatever you got. Let's just take that thing out. That's a really bad sentence. Or in some cases, an alien hybrid baby.

The human abductees are taken into large rooms in the alien spacecraft containing alien hybrid fetuses in tanks at different stages of development. Wow. And then you have a drawing that is a still from Killer Clowns from Outer Space, but just like a little bit less interesting because there's no clowns involved. Yes. During an abduction, after aliens take either sperm or eggs from humans, depending on their sex or in some cases. eggs from humans depending on their sex or in some cases after showing the abductee an alien human hybrid baby the human abductees are taken into large rooms in the alien spacecraft containing

have i read this before maybe very well maybe i don't know i'm confused already all right abductees wondered why they did this the answer answer is now obvious. The aliens are showing humans their replacement. The aliens are in effect telling abductees the new alien slash hybrids will replace them. There will be no more humans on the earth. Uh-huh. There is one catch to this situation which the aliens do not realize. Idiots. Some of the fetuses are autistic. Uh-huh. idiots some of the fetuses are autistic the aliens are incompetent scientists and quite

can't quite do what they're trying to do so they continuously make trial and error attempts for their new creation thus causing the epidemic of autism hey so so then you uh jack check you follow this uh piece of let's say research um you follow this piece of, let's say, research. You follow this piece of research with three different crayon drawings. And they're really informative in general. You've got three different crayon drawings that I can click to enlarge. That middle crayon drawing, can you describe that, please? Yeah. Please.

please uh yeah yeah please um imagine imagine like a uh an hourglass but the bottom of it is blue and the top has like a face and then there's there's a big piece of red string coming off the bottom of it right right all right uh and then there's a couple other pieces of string hanging off the top of it. Yep. Those are blue. Yep. And then it says alien lady hybrid. That's terrifying. That gave me autism right there.

I'm so sorry. And then the very last sentence there at the bottom of this page. These are a child's drawings of alien hybrid children, the new race the aliens will use to replace the human race some of these newly created children are autistic as there are their human counterparts wow okay okay so we're so we're digging in deep i'm i'm i'm excited about this i i i feel like we're gonna learn about um the like is this is this a problem? Like the alien hybrids won't be able to interpret the social cues of the other alien hybrids? I feel like the aliens are coming to Earth and they're giving us autism by mistake.

And then we're just trying to deal with that fact? That seems like what I'm getting from this at this moment. Okay. Okay. So nutshell, I'm'm getting from this at this moment. Okay. Okay. So, nutshell, I'm going to take you to this page, aliensandchildren.org slash causeofautismepidemic.hgm. And I just got a couple questions for you. So, what are the causes of autism epidemic here in the aliens? Well, bungling alien scientists from space created the epidemic of autism.

It's like a Gomer Pyle kind of situation then? Yes, yes. There's no conspiracy. The aliens are lousy scientists. The spectrum of autism disorders comes from flawed alien trial and error efforts to create a new race from their genes and human genes. The Peter Principle applies to the alien science. In an organization, individuals tend to reach a level of responsibility at least one level above that at which they can function competently. In this case, the aliens are above their level of scientific competency and are damaging the human genome in their attempt to create alien human hybrids.

They demonstrated their scientific incompetency by making themselves sterile. This is great. I'm a fan of Hogan's Heroes, so this is very much in my wheelhouse. I'm really into it. You've got a chart, which is very informative. We're just going to skip past the thing because it's very visual. very informative. We're just going to skip past the thing because it's very visual. Can you just skip past the chart and

keep talking to me about this alien conspiracy here? Sure. A female abductee who has worn a thought screen helmet almost 24-7 since 1999 confirmed the alien situation with Michael Menken.

The abductee described an experience wherein an alien female brought the abductee to orgasm to harvest her eggs. Because that's how that works. Oh boy. Oh boy. The orgasm was necessary for that thing?

When the abductee was asked about the alien, quote, just as it gets impressions from you, what is your impression of it? The abductee replied, it's a female, but it does not have any genitals. So the abductee was a squirter, but like a squirter for ovum? Is that what's going on here? In a nutshell, I'm sorry to ask.

I don't want to think about it. I'm sorry to ask such a personal question. I'm just reading the doc, Lemon. I'm just reading the doc. In a nutshell, I'm sorry to ask such a personal question. I'm just reading the Doc Lemon. Nutshell, I'm sorry to ask such a personal question, but how do you deal with the trauma of all your eggs falling out every time you orgasm? Just kind of pick them back up,

just shove them back in. That's a problem I haven't had for a long time, Boots, so thanks for asking. Take that, Jeff! I just realized how come my, uh, my experiments to claim female eggs have all failed.

You better fuck inject it, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, I know. Anyway. Yep. According to a statement made by an abductee under hypnosis who Professor David Jacobs worked with, which is in his book, The Threat, the aliens who are abducting humans made themselves sterile by modifying their genes and themselves so much that they could not reproduce. The abductee felt that the aliens exceeded their scientific competence and sterilized themselves.

The aliens may be trying to maintain their culture by mixing their genes with ours, hence a new race of alien-human hybrids. Like the failed manipulation of their own genes, the alien creation process is flawed, which may bring about defects in the human genome manifesting as autism and Asperger's disease. The creation process is actually beyond the alien's scientific capacity, so they constantly change their modifications to human DNA, hence the ever-enlarging spectrum of autism disorders. Making hybrids is an alien trial and error process. Abductees report seeing deformed and sick hybrids on alien spacecraft.

So they're just fucking around. They're just trying to make, like, jello molds and just, like, you know, whatever we can... Wait, but, okay, wait. So they're making these alien-human hybrids, but they're imperfect and they all have autism. And they're keeping them up on their spaceship. So the autism isn't coming down to humans in any way, shape, or form. I know.

It's terrifying, isn't it? I refer you to all the very helpful charts at the bottom of this page actually to your point there's two charts that I'm very interested in the first is your first flowchart here the one that's cyan and red how does this flowchart work

well you start with an orange box that says human outcome for alien oh no no I'm sorry I wanted sorry. I wanted the cyan one. The cyan? Oh, the cyan one. Okay. That's a simple sort of going from one point to the next. First, you have aliens from space abducting humans.

Of course. Which leads to alien incomplete genetic knowledge, which leads to trial and error attempts to create an alien-human hybrids transgenic creatures, which leads to a and error attempts to create alien-human hybrids, transgenic creatures. Which leads to a spectrum of autism disorders. Right, right. Of course.

Which leads to constant alien trial and error attempts to produce autism epidemic. So I think the alien's problem... I think the problem is that they put all of the aliens that are good at running the spaceships, and then they got here, and they're like, all right, where's all my geneticists? We're going to make some hybrids. Wait. Did anybody invite the geneticists? Oh, shit. All right.

You try and figure something out with that thing. We're all just physicists here trying to figure out genetics. So the very, very last... I need a sperm or an egg, I guess? The very last flowchart on this page, nutshell, is very, very direct

and sensical, and it really elucidates this theory. Can you just run through this really simple flowchart? Oh. It's really straightforward. Okay, sure.

Human female egg with altered damaged genome. Or. Or. Okay, or. Human male sperm with altered slash damaged genome from aliens. This looks like the... This looks like the... I'm sorry, I hate to interrupt while you're trying to parse this out, but this looks like the skill tree in an action game, where I just look at this and I'm just like I don't even know what the fuck.

Do I unlock implants for additional genome alterations or alien male alter genome? Alright, so in both cases you have implants for additional genome alteration which leads to either an alien female alter genome or an alien male alter genome, which then

goes on through transgenic fertilization to create either a male or female alien-human hybrid, which then goes on to, I think... You tell me. I don't know. I don't know. Female egg with altered damaged genome or human male sperm with altered damaged genome. Oh, never mind. That doesn't make sense. Yep. Which makes a second- generation human-alien hybrid,

which then magically turns into a third generation alien-human hybrid with more transgenic fertilization and continuous trial and error breeding and refining process.

Wow. Yeah. I think the most important thing we can glean from this is that if you look at it from a distance, the chart is kind of making the dream work smart. It's a very visual joke for the podcast. Thank you. Mr. John's host, I have a question. This question is preceded by a drawing that sucks, but the listener is not.

You know, Ringo Starr's paintings, I mean, it's nice that he tries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, whatever. You've got a couple million euros. Go ahead. So I have a question here for you uh what what is the information that we can glean from abductees well i think we can glean if the text at the top of this web page is correct the alien plan for humans and let's see so the information from

abductees there will be some kind of final event or invasion. So, just a heads up, I guess. Sure. Okay, let's prepare ourselves for just things ending in general. Coming spring 2019. Mark your calendars. Many abductees will participate in the event and perform tasks that the aliens have

trained them to do. According to one abductee, it takes two pilots to control one alien spacecraft. The aliens are short on pilots, so they are training abductees to pilot their spacecraft during the final event. One

abductee, a woman in her mid-fifties, is being trained to rescue aliens on the ground during the event, so the aliens must be considering that they will meet resistance for whatever they plan to do. Why are the aliens short on pilots? Well, I mean, if you're gonna figure out the spaceship,

and then you're gonna be like, so obviously the spaceship's gonna happen, somebody needs to be a bartender, somebody needs to work the doors.. All their pilots are doing science now. Work the doors. They're all doing their genetics. So an abductee in England reported that large groups of abductees are taken to some kind of meeting center and receive a presentation about the aliens' plans for the future, which includes a climactic event.

It's fun to stay at the YMCA. All right, E3 for alien hybrid babies. Aliens will take all of the children they are working with at their final act. The parents of several child abductees were part of this information. And then we got like a bib of alien heads or something? Sure. Yeah, yeah. Here's what an alien-human hybrid telepathically told an abductee as reported in The Threat by David M. Jacobs, PhD.

Okay, this is in quotes. David Jacobs has his own Wikipedia page. He's legitimate. Crazy. More legitimate than F+, most importantly. Probably. So this is what I guess the... Okay, so this is what the

hybrid telepathically... This is what the abductee is saying. And he's saying to me that, you know how you have memories? And I'm saying, like, what do you mean memories? He's saying, you know how you remember your father, your mother, your sister, the birthday parties? I think he's giving me an example, and I'm saying, yes. And's saying, you know how you remember your father, your mother, your sister, the birthday parties? I think he's giving me an example, and I'm saying, yes.

And he goes, someday people who are like you will not have those memories either. They'll be like me. Like him meaning. And I'm saying, what do you mean by that? And he's saying, don't you understand that? I said, no. Or rather, I don't say no, I just shake my head.

And then again, he tells me to listen thank you for for supporting community theater you know old town is really the best one that we've ever done uh hey uh you keep going with this uh fictitious uh thing for a while but we're're going to go to a related site to the Aliens and Autism site. By the way, this document provided to us by Cheapskate, and thank you very much, Cheapskate.

We're now going to go to a different URL. This URL is called stopabductions.com and come cross out. That's noble. That's a noble goal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. stopabductions.com and come quesap. That's noble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stopabductions.com So, come

quesap. I want you to go into this document that Cheapskate provided and go down to page Jesus Christ. I want you to go down

to page 16. Right? And start telling me how to stop alien abductions. Because it seems like a problem. It seems like a problem that we can fix. And I want to know if you, Kumquatsop, have a way

to fix these alien abductions. Or at least make them better. Obviously. Yeah. So, yeah. Or at least make them better. Obviously, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. So, how to make a thought screen helmet. Okay, that's not exactly the help that I was looking for, but, you know, help is help. Hey, shut up.

You wanted to know. You wanted to know. And I'm here to tell you, the thought screen helmet stops space aliens from abducting humans. It's been used successfully by former abductees for 19 years. Former abductees? Yeah. They're not abducted right now, are they?

Yeah. Huh? All right. All right. All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah.

This public service nonprofit assembly website. That would take a long time. It's written in assembly. That would take a long time to write a website. All of the issues provided in assembly. Yeah. Written in Temple OS. Yeah.

It tells you how to make a thought screen helmet. Yep. New functions of thought screen helmets. If you... Wait a minute. Yep. All right. If you, wait a minute. Yep. All right, listen to this sentence. Okay.

If you are abducted by aliens, the helmet will work for you. I don't think, wait. Sure. Sure. Okay. If you are, this will protect you from alien abductions. If you are abducted by aliens, the helmet will work for you. Right.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. How the thought screen helmet works. It is not a shield. Great. Thank you. Hey, hey. What else isn't it?

It is not greaves. It is not a breastplate. Cauldrons. No. Those are right out. What inventory slot do I lock this helmet into? Can I get a thought screen codpiece? Yeah. I love to fuck aliens, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love to fuck aliens, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, after working with abductees for 19 years and persons with neurological problems for 15 years... Hello, me! It's me again! I now believe that the thought screen helmet does not work as a shield. What? Rather... Okay!

as a shield. What? Rather, rather, the helmet may stimulate another brain activity which stops alien telepathy

from being processed internally. That is, it prevents the abductee's brain from converting alien telepathy into human thoughts.

See my medical... Yeah. Yeah, gotcha. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it stops the thoughts from getting into your head

like some sort of blocking device. We should have a word for that. Yeah. Anyways. It's not a shield, goddammit! No, sorry.

It's a thought screen. No. Is it a quaff? Sure. See my medical website, neurohat.org. Yes, please. I'm on it. You should definitely also look at the pictures on neurohat.org.

Oh, the pictures are amazing. Hey, hey, you know what stops alien abductions from happening? Is a MAGA hat. Yep. Fashion. Fashion stops alien abductions. The aliens tried to figure out how the helmet works, but can't. They've cut out pieces inside and outside the helmet,

as well as take 13 helmets from abductees. What? It's 2018, and the helmet works as well as it did in 1999. What? It's 2018, and the helmet works as well as it did in 1999. The thought screen helmet has effectively stopped several types of aliens from abducting or controlling humans. Only one failure since 1998. Which alien got through? Like, which alien was more powerful than the helmet?

It looks like a really good helmet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Adults and children all over America, all over Australia and Canada, the United Kingdom, Ireland, India, Germany, Austria, France, Italy, Portugal, China, Ecuador, Brazil, Colombia, and the Republic of South Africa, no other countries, are wearing thought screen helmets to stop alien abductions. Many former abductees have been wearing thought screen helmets. Wait, are there crazy people in different countries? No.

Other, only Velostat works. Other materials were tried in previous models with less success. Only thought screen helmets using Velostat are effective. Large leather aviator hats lined with velostat with secure straps are recommended for making effective helmets but any hat that covers your whole hat and has eight sheets of velostat part number 1706 will work link stat has different conductive properties than velostat so it does not work as well uh you can make a thought screen helmet you have to use their stuff yeah yeah thanks special Velostat

sponsorship I'm a fucking thought screen influencer I guess I mean I'm a little bit like frustrated because you keep saying helmet over and over again and the thing that I'm seeing in all of these pictures is like an Amelia Earhart, like, leather, like, soft cap.

That doesn't feel like a helmet. It goes in the helmet slot! Okay, okay. Can I wear a helmet over the Amelia Earhart? I mean... Like, leather. I mean, if you really want, you could build a shield out of Velostat and hold it

over your head. Hey, Lemon, whatever you call it, whatever you call it, look, Amelia Earhart wore it, and she never disappeared. So that's the very good point. Very good point.

Never abducted by anyone. Yes, Amelia Earhart lived until 1998, and then she got abducted by anyone. Amelia S. Amelia lived until 1998 and then she got abducted. Damn it! Yeah. About to make her come back to her. In case anybody else was curious as to what Velostat is, it's the plastic that

electronics parts come in. Oh, yes! Yeah, the anti-static bags. Cool! Do I get silica gel with my helmet, too? And get things that I do not eat? To probably preserve your head inside your hat? What? I could have been covering my head with video card bags this whole time.

The aliens are static. Could have, you didn't, fucking idiot. Yeah. Video card bags this whole time? The aliens are static. Could have, you didn't, fucking idiot. Yeah. Can I read the known side effects of the neurohat? Yes, please. Okay. So some known side effects are dizziness. I mean, obviously number one is fashion.

Well, no, number one is dizziness. One patient became dizzy after wearing the hat for half a day. Okay. Headache. Does it have its own compass, the hat? I'm a goddamn scientist. Okay, okay. It had to be the hat.

Maybe you should wear a bigger hat. Also killed three people, but that's probably unrelated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also lightheaded. One patient felt lightheaded after wearing the hat for less than an hour. Science! I'm a scientist. It's almost as if they were right next to me and I was talking to them the whole time they were wearing this hat.

And then these things happen because of the hat. That's weird. talking to them the whole time they were wearing this hat. And then these things happen because of the hat. That's weird. Mr. John Soast, I have a question for you. Yes, you can ask me while I'm not laughing at a picture or anything. No, it's not a funny picture at all. It's just a perfectly sane man putting on a perfectly sane helmet.

No, no, he got a silk press on his hair, and he has to wear that at night to keep it looking good. Oh, that's adorable. I really love his... He's got really nice curls. I feel like he's got a bronzer agent in there that's just going to really make his hair really shine, luster. You know, I think with his headshot, he's got a real chance to get in on a handmaid's tale here. So, Mr. John Toast,

I'm obviously interested in protecting myself from alien abductions. That's a thing that I'm worried about. And so I want to. And so now I'm looking at this page on stopabductions.com about the directions to prevent myself from alien abductions. What are the directions here? All right. So these directions are compiled from 20 years of experience of working with abductees wearing thought screen helmets to stop alien abductions. So, step number one.

Step number one is prepare for a fight. Oh, I gotta listen to prog rock now? Okay, I mean... Just gotta get really pumped. Aliens will try to stop you from wearing the helmet, both mentally and physically. Remember that they can read your mind. Before you make one, they may try and influence you that you don't need one.

The little voice in the back of your head saying, this is crazy. It's the aliens. You look really stupid in this hat. No, aliens, shut up. Once you start wearing a helmet, they may harass you or perhaps threaten to kill a pet in retaliation. I mean, how are they going to do that if the hat blocks the

telepathy of the aliens? Because they're like, this works too good. Man, this is a really good hat. Please don't wear it. They are good at manipulating your spouse to have a conflict with you about wearing the helmet. These are oddly specific. That's probably a coincidence.

Linda! Linda! that's probably a coincidence if you forget to wear it one time they may physically hurt you they have done things they have done these things your aunt in michigan might say i'm really worried about you i really worry for your mental safety i hope you're looking after yourself. Is there anything I can do for you? And then you just and then you just

yell back I can't hear you over the velostat over my telephone. A velophone? I call it the velophone. It's perfectly normal to want to listen

to the entirety of Yes's discography. So they have done these things to a minority of abductees wearing helmets. Most abductees report complete success with a helmet when they wear it as much as they can. Shoot. Okay. So number two obviously follows is have a locked cabinet. That's great.

That's great. And that's a great bullet point. And it's long. And that's cool. I'm really interested in having a locked cabinet. And that's a great bullet point. And it's long. And that's cool. I'm really interested in having a luck habit. But what's point number three? Well, point number three is to make the helmet quick. You may experience telepathic resistance from the aliens when you try to make the hat.

Expect it. You must make the hat as quickly as possible so you're not overcome by them. Here's a quote from one abductee making a new helmet. I felt telepathic resistance while I'm making the helmet. Sharp pains were felt. I pulled the helmet over the head and it stopped. I think I'm being watched

on what I am doing. I suppose you must warn other abductees when making the hats. It was my case worker checking up on me. I really feel like you need to go over point two. I really, like, this is information people need to know. Okay, okay. Well, I wanted to make the helmet quickly, but I guess

if you want to back up, okay, fair enough. Yeah, this is really important. Okay, so, do we want to hear about the locked cabinet? I guess. I'm excited about it. I'm excited about it. Yeah, yeah, really important. Okay, so do we want to hear about the locked cabinet? I guess. As long as I'm excited about it, I'm excited about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so have a locked cabinet. Aliens have taken 13 helmets from abductees and several Velostat-lined baseball caps.

Okay, all right, you were right. You were right. You were right. I'm so sorry. You were right. Lemon, why did you let the aliens tell you to skip that step? Are you wearing your helmet? Such a weird legend of Zelda plot.

You must capture the 12th helmet. Look, if you are not wearing your hat, they will go through your entire house looking for you. They will not, however, go into a locked cabinet. Nope. Fuck. We're out. We're out. Why is that, Toast?

Why won't they go into a locked cabinet? Hello. My name's Jeremy. Have you heard the good news about helmets? You know, 12 helmets have been ordained by God to be protected from alien abductions. I need to put my head into this helmet in order to see these magic plates. Jack, you asked me. You asked me why a locked cabinet will work.

Sure, yeah. Well, it's obviously because all thought is open and controlled in a telepathic society, therefore locks are unnecessary. Okay. Aliens are unfamiliar with locks and the concept of a lock. Okay.

So they can read our thoughts. Right, right, all right. But the idea of, like, the idea of, like, pins moving up and down? Or object permanence? That's really complicated. They've got space travel. They've got, you know, they've got telepathic abilities.

Simple machines are sort of beyond them. Like, it's a Tumblr system. I just like picturing an alien, like, all right, got to listen in on the human thought. And the human's walking out. It's like, oh, I better lock my door. And then they just get question marks over their head, like, all right, got to listen in on the human thought. And the human's walking out. It's like, oh, I better lock my door. And then they just get question marks over their head like, what? What was that word?

Swing! Okay, so now I've got my helmet. I'm feeling really good. You've made the helmet quickly. You've made it quickly. Yeah, I've made a helmet very quickly. Thank you very much. I've made my helmet very quickly.

Is there any step now that I can have that I haven't made my helmet very quickly. Thank you very much. I've made my helmet very quickly. Is there any step now that I can have that I have made my helmet very quickly? Well, the next step, kind of, is secure the helmet with tape or string. Almost any kind of tape or string wrapped around the helmet

several times. Almost any! Just wrap your head up like a big old roast. There are three problematic strings that you could use. Yeah. It will prevent them if they manage to get close to you, so make sure to keep some scotch tape with you so that if you

see someone who you think is an alien hybrid, start wrapping tape around your head. If you use scotch tape, you can use masking tape. Don't use hockey tape. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, electrical tape, no. Aliens love electrical tape. And then the next bullet point, please.

Aliens keep trying to take the hat off my head. Aliens can read your thoughts, but they can't figure out how to get past locks or tape. Right, all right. Or string, or string. Number five. Don't be lured out of your current location by the aliens. What?

Don't let them. No, no, no. Even if they say Red Rover, Red Rover, say Kumquat's up on over. Well, aliens follow reverse vampire rules. Kumquat, you ask me what, and thankfully the next sentence is, don't let the aliens lure you out of your location. So they cleared it up for you. Wow, thanks.

The website predicted this. If they have some sort of, like, me call. It's like a duck call, but a me call. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. All the oxen, all the oxen in jail. Hi, hi, hello. Hi, hi, hello. I would buy that.

It's the come-come call. Stay where you are if you think the aliens are close by. If you're on this website, you always think the aliens are close by. So, wait, wait, wait.

Hang on, hang on. So, if I think aliens are close to me, I should stay there. Yes. Right, wait. Hang on. If I think aliens are close to me, I should stay there. Yes. Right, yeah. They can't detect movement. But don't let them out.

Don't let them let you get out. Anyways, they will make noises by banging on walls to lure you out, but don't do it. Don't do it. No, no, no. No, no, no. You're like, ooh, I might be the sound

of a radiator. Hello, sir. FedExpress, we have a package for you. Fuck you, aliens! I'm taping my helmet on my head. You can't get me. But, sir, you ordered this. This is your Uber Eats driver.

You can't get past my lock. Okay. Oh, Chipotle. They may also use lights outside to lure you outside. By luring you out into their territory, you will be more vulnerable to their control. Oh, I see. This is being written by a giant moth. Hey, what's that flashlight you got there? Just check out mine.

So then there's a thing about being comfortable in hot climates. Yeah, yeah. What should we do about it? You need to read that. Oh, okay. Very good. We are not going to pass that by. Just let me merit in on this for a second. Number six is make small holes in top for hot climates.

What it says under that is if the temperature is above 80 degrees Fahrenheit and the helmet is hot to wear, use an awl or similar tool and punch some small holes in the top of the helmet. Whoa. Now, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Okay. Wow. It doesn't say anything about taking the helmet off first.

Yes. So, yeah, there's that. But I like that before you read the text, it doesn't say helmet or anything in the bold. Yeah. So, I mean, it's very possible that, like, before getting to the text of that, somebody's like's like oh I already punched these holes in my head damn it or my shirt yeah yeah alright and then the very last point there

in being good about my helmet number seven is wear the helmet as often as possible no matter what your mother says yeah once you make a thought screen helmet you must wear it as frequently as possible the aliens know when you are not wearing it and will take you at that time abductees are taken when they are driving cars don't drive a car you should not be driving a car they even take children

without helmets when they are in school there are documented cases of children abductees missing during school hours citation needed i mean that's... I'm just gonna... Let's just move on. Why needed? Why needed? You don't trust this fucking guy? He seems trustworthy to me. Yeah.

You can also put eight sheets of Velostat into baseball cap or other hat to wear during the day, which is less conspicuous than a leather hat. It certainly is. I mean, if you're in this time period, if you haven't gone back to the 1930s.

Are you wearing a shitload of plastic under your hat? See aliensandchildren.org for different types of thought screen hats. Well, I don't know. I don't know. Some abductees have worn their thought screen helmets and hats almost 24 hours a day, seven

days a week for 20 years. I mean, that's, that's all. It doesn't say that's a good thing or not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There are some special conditions though.

Okay. One abductee reported that he could not wear the helmet because it made him disoriented. If you become disoriented and you cannot stand or walk without becoming dizzy with the helmet on, then do not wear it. No period. So just get abducted by aliens if you're dizzy, asshole. Hello,

S+, I want to talk to you about stopabductions.com slash weakalien.hgm Oh, alrighty. Is that like seven days or lack of strength? Okay, so this is the possible alien weaknesses, but this is only applicable to greys. Don't try to apply it to other things like Romulans.

No. No. No. Reptoids. No, it's not about reptiles. Nope, absolutely not. It's just only about greys. Click on.

Yep. No, no, it doesn't work for any of these. This is only for greys. Okay, so Yep. No, no. It doesn't work for any of these. This is only for greys. Okay. So here's the reliance on telepathy. When the alien's powers, the alien's telepathic powers are neuralized by the thought screen helmet, they do not attempt to abduct their victims. Without their telepathic power, they cannot render their victims

passive. Okay. So that's a good thing to know. Hey, would you like to kill implanted alien hybrid embryos? Sure, we all do. Okay, so if you want to kill

implanted alien hybrid embryos, you should use vitamin C. One woman who now wears a thought screen helmet reported in 2008 that she killed four alien hybrid fetuses in a row. Fucking just back to back to back. Wow. By taking a gram of vitamin C every hour. Oh, every hour? Oh, my God.

Wow. Good thing it's water-soluble. Holy shit. Did she put, like, the little outlines of the alien hybrid fetuses with red Xs over them on the window of her car, like, below her driver's window? I don't know. I mean, she was on so much molly that she didn't know what she was doing. Okay, so she used her alarm clock at night to awaken her every hour.

She reported that she could no longer feel the fetuses moving, and the aliens were very angry at the deaths of the alien hybrids implanted in her. The aliens also removed a dead alien hybrid fetus from her and implanted a live one at another time. This was before she started wearing a thought screen helmet. As of 2019, which is where we are right now in the present,

she wears thought screens almost 24-7, and she now shoots at alien-human hybrids in her house. Yay! I got to point out, this document was provided to us very, very recently. It sure was. And what's the guy's name? Cheapskate. Cheapskate made this one.

No, no, no. I mean, the... I don't know. Crazy. I'mapskate made this one. No, no, no. I mean the... I don't know. Crazy. I'm assuming British. Michael Menken. This is a British guy. This has got to be a British guy.

No, no, no, no. No, he's American. He's American. Oh, really? Oh, that's British. Michael Menken updates these pages very regularly because I've seen two date changes so far. Yeah, as of 2019. Me too.

Me too. As of 2019. In the doc, as of 2019. Me too. As of 2019, in the doc it says 2018, and there was a thing that the toast read that said 20 years, and then the doc said 17 years. Yeah, well, thank you. He's going through and

proofing his content on a very regular basis. So, you know. You know, when your head's not full of alien thoughts, you remember stuff like updating your website. You don't forget that. So I also wanted to touch on the whole – I'm going to be the victor for this episode for a sec. So I did a little quick research.

So the recommended amount of vitamin C for an adult human is 65 to 90 milligrams a day. That's over a pill every hour. What are you trying to say? That's.06 grams. Yeah, so... Hang on. What's the recommended dosage for a human-alien hybrid? I don't know. They don't know either, because they don't...

You know, they got their pilots being their geneticists. The lethal amount is 24 grams. So here's the thing. So the upper limit is They got their pilots being their geneticists. The lethal amount is 24 grams. Yes. So here's the thing. So the upper limit is 2,000 milligrams, so 2 grams a day. So too much dietary vitamin C is unlikely to be harmful. Mega doses of vitamin C supplements might cause a bunch of side effects, but two of them are diarrhea and vomiting.

So maybe that explains what she was thinking. A lot of that happened, and she was just like, hey, I got rid of the alien embryos. Check them out. So, hey, John Toast, I got something for you. Do you know this? That's the grays, not the browns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, John Toast, I want to say something to you, which is that perfumes.

Several abductees report that aliens do not like perfume. One abductee claims that they stopped an abduction by exposing strong, cheap perfume to aliens. Okay, sure, yeah. That's why there were no abductions in the 70s, because the Aqua Velva just fucking repelled all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody's ever been abducted in a Macy's. Nobody's ever been abducted in a Macy's. So, yeah, so that's a little bit about how to protect yourself from the greys, which is great.

There's incense tips also in this page. But we're going to move on to this. I hate to use this word. I hate to use this word. I hate to use this word. But Boots, I have to use this word for a moment. Okay. Okay. Which is the pseudoscience reply.

Oh. So, Boots, is there some sort of pseudoscience reply to these alien abductions? Oh, there sure is. Yeah? Okay. Yeah, this was apparently from the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism, October 25th, 2012, our belief is that all autism approaches

should mirror the physician's credo, first do no harm. But how do you determine when benefits outweigh potential damage? The pseudoscience so often promoted as autism treatments Has a handful of Consistent identifying characteristics

Characteristics Ask yourself Does this practitioner or vendor Promise miracles that no one else Seems to achieve Well he is Pretending to create A helmet that protects me from everything that's wrong in my life.

But no, I don't think so. No. The hat dramatically improved the condition of two autistic children who wore it every night for 10 years. Both children were declared hopeless autistics in 2000. They stopped wearing the hats in 2010. Now, does that mean they were just like autistics who were morose? Is this guy promising me miracles? No, the hat is really good.

It's a really good hat. The boy, now 23, is doing well in a local college. The girl, now 22, attends a state university. Their cousins also tried the hat for less than a year and had some results, but the mother did not persevere and her children stopped wearing their hats. Parents must train their children to wear the hat for hours at a time, and the hat must be worn

consistently to work. The hat also helped a mute autistic girl to speak in 2003. After wearing the hat for three months mute autistic girl to speak in 2003 after wearing the hat for three months she started to speak just imagine the parents like feeding their kids small cubes of cheese every time they wear the hat you know when it says train your children to wear the hat for hours you know this is a weird this is a weird approach here because it's like many people say i'm a snake oil salesman but i have these oiled snakes here they don't have any oil in them moving on this is like what but

look how shiny these snakes are 11 ask me a question oh yeah so is this person promising the outcome also asking me for money i give the hats to people to try for free. Asterisk. I have never charged anybody for a hat. Asterisk. The hats now take about five hours to make. Asterisk. I think this is all genuine.

I sew them with a $1,600 industrial sewing machine for durability that i purchased with my own money uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh here's a picture of me sewing my hat wow so then there's a bunch of crazy people yeah wearing uh really cool hats um and uh and that's, uh, uh, that's great. So I got a question. I got another question for you boots. Yeah. So does the practitioner or vendor have strong credentials as an expert in the therapies

they're promising or in the field of autism? I'm glad you asked me that because I am a scientist. Great. Right. Yeah. I have no credentials in any kind of therapy. Yay! Do you know what a defense is?

I have worked for many high technology companies. Fuck that bitch. I've worked for many high technology companies as a technical writer, and I also edited scientific papers in neuro psych neuro physiology what is neurophysiology a thing yep maybe maybe i don't know okay physiology i guess it's yeah i guess it would have to be in neurophysiology as a publications editor for the department of physiology and biophysics at the university of washington i retired in 2014 as a regulation writer for the federal aviation administration thinking critically is one of the most important Oh, no.

I knew Frank West was going down a wrong path. I like it. On the site, The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. The site shares opinions, insights, and experience on a wide range of topics. They deserve your full attention, consideration, and respect. You may also notice that many autistic contributors appear in dual or triple roles as autism parents and are autism professionals. What?

Oh my god. Michael Menken also has multiple roles as an inventor, UFO investigator, and independent medical researcher. Jesus. Okay. Asterisk. Asterisk. I am a professional

autist. So, his defense is, I'm not a therapist myself, but I've edited their manuals. No, I've edited the manuals of the airplanes they fly on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of other scientists who are definitely not therapists. In case you guys are curious, Michael Menken maintains a LinkedIn profile.

Okay, tell me about the LinkedIn profile, please. I mean, it's, you know, exactly what he said, honestly. He worked as a technical writer for the FAA for six years and a couple years at Boeing before then, and he's apparently a head researcher at the University of Washington now. Nice. Very nice. There's a whole bunch of pictures

of these duct tape and tinfoil hats that protected from the alien reproductions. Going through this document on THEFBL.US, there's a whole bunch of things. fbl.us um there's a whole bunch of things uh we're gonna close on um the the telepathic war oh okay yeah so um so uh come close up i'm gonna tag you in in just a second oh yes i'm gonna tag you in in just a second but but this is the telepathic war with the aliens. My name is Michael Menken. So throughout the history of the human race, wars were fought with bigger and better weapons.

Muskets replaced bows and arrows. Automatic rifles replaced single-action ones. Rockets replaced cannons. Aircraft carriers replaced battleships. Ballistic missiles replaced bombers. God damn it. Replace cannons, aircraft carriers. Replace battleships, ballistic missiles. Replace bombers. God damn it. Jet interceptors.

Replace propeller-driven fighters. Weapons got more accurate, faster, with greater ranges of actions, with greater explosive power. In all of these wars until now, technology and numerical superiority determined victory. Really? Really? Wow. That's, oh. Yeah.

Until now. Yep. Definitely. Superior technology, tactics, and numeral strengths were the key elements in warfare. All wars fought until now were technology wars. Wars were technological experience. Wars were...

That's a great sentence. I... Man. Here we go. I really like how the Vietnam War turned out. Wars were technological superiority were decisive. Anyway, what do you have to add to that? Hans Berger recorded Wars were technological superiority were decisive. Yep.

Anyway, what do you have to add to that? Hansberger recorded the first human EEG in 1924. He discovered the electroencephalogram in 1929, which was endured by Edgar Douglas Adrian and Harold Cabot Matthews of the Cambridge Physiological Laboratory in 1934. One of his goals was to confirm the existence of what was then and is now considered telepathy, the transmission of thought from one person to another. He said that the evoked electrical potentials from the scout were too small to be transmitted thought and discounted the existence of telepathy. However, many people who come in contact with aliens from space

feel that the aliens they meet were communicating by telepathy. Since it is reported by so many people experiencing contact, with aliens from space feel that the aliens they meet were communicating by telepathy. Since it is reported by so many people experiencing contact, telepathy must exist in some form to work. The Thought Screen Helmet demonstrates that people do receive thoughts as some type of microwave transmission. The helmet trembles that transmission. It also works better with grounds, which, coffee grounds, which further substantiates that it receives a signal.

Since we are being invaded. Nutshell, nutshell. Oh, hello. I do not know where we are in this document. We're in the alien coffee. Yeah, there's some very exciting things that you want to tell us about aliens. Nutshell, tell us some more about aliens, please. Since we are being invaded by aliens force from another world we have a different

kind of war our war of these beings is one of mind control mind scan and telepathic controls reported by bud hopkins david jacobs and raymond fowler i call this type of conflict telepathic war to differentiate it from a technology war a telepathic war uses telepathy as a weapon in addition to the machines of a technology war until now the creatures abducting us could do so at will they could switch off people or render them powerless, manipulate people's thoughts and cause them to move against their will, project mental images to us, masquerade as a friendly or sexually attractive human, and scan our entire minds. Uh-huh. The thought screen helmet is our only defense in a telepathic war! William Shatner's tech war.

UPN Thursday nights at 7. Watch. I used to call it a tech war. I call this device a thought screen helmet because it prevents aliens from performing any kind of mental control over us. It's not a shield! It...

It's not a shield. It blocks out all alien thoughts so humans can no longer be manipulated or controlled! And it prevents aliens from completing mental communication with us so people cannot be abducted the term thought screen is derived from the science fiction novels of edward elmer smith otherwise known as doc smith smith had his character use thought screens to

block out telepathic control thought screens were used in his novels as a defense to telepathic war. With a working thought screen, fantasy has become reality. We can fight a telepathic war. Hey, uh, I gotta I gotta I gotta a very quick

question for you, Boots. Which is, so you're telling're you're telling me about and and and really uh throughout the hour um i think you've really convinced me on this uh this uh this helmet to uh block out alien autism attacks um i got a question for you which is that does the practitioner by which i mean you does the practitioner or vendor promise a blanket cure for unrelated disorders such as, you know, grouping together allergies and autism or autism and ADHD or autism, diabetes, cancer and allergies? That's my question for you oh okay that's a question

that's the question that I posed and this is my answer here yeah what's your answer to my question the hat is to be worn consistently for a long time to work oh it took years for the hats to help autistic children the hat began to help an epileptic after three months

and eventually cured him of his grand mal seizures. I feel like I'm a bit repetitive here, but that's okay. The total time frame from that cure is unknown. It also cured a person with migraine headaches after three years of wear. It helped a person with brain injury from an auto accident. As of 2018, it is also helping 20 brain-injured persons. I will respond to any established scientist who is interested in the hat.

I'm sure you will. How do you prove that you're an established scientist in this particular case? You wear the hat. You have your science club certificate. You got the jacket. You wear the hat. You have your science club certificate. You got the jacket. You got the patches. So, F+, what have we learned from any of this?

I need more hats. I don't know what I learned from this. No? No, I don't know. I think the foil hat is a thing of the past. Like, foil is an obsolete material for protecting your brain. Yeah. Now we have the little baggies, the hard drives come in. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Anybody that is going to be making tinfoil hats, I will stop them and say, excuse me. Excuse me, sir uh there has been a technological advancement uh we have moved up the tech tree uh please stop your outmoded uh so well and these are great because they don't set off metal detectors yeah so yeah that's my question for this is that is that um this advancement technology from the tinfoil hat to the hard drive baggy hat, do you do this because, is it for fashion reasons, or is it genuinely better?

I mean, Lemon. I'm trying to figure out why I would upgrade my tinfoil hat. Lemon, I think that you saw the pictures, so quite clearly it's for fashion reasons. Yeah. You know know form follows function and i think pretty soon we're gonna start to see the classic uh hershey kiss foil hat with a hard drive baggy inner liner oh that would be really good yeah that would be really good yeah yeah i i feel like i was i was thinking about the band uh i was thinking about

the band lmfao at the this morning i'm sorry all right that's a different track of thought welcome to hour two of this episode so i just picture i just picture lemon waking up with a cup of coffee taking a sip and it's like you know what party rock really is in the house tonight right right and i was i was thinking about you know like? Party Rock really is in the house tonight. Right, right. And I was thinking about, you know, like there was a pretty short time in the sun for that particular band. The girls needed an excuse to suck our cocks. That's why we give them shots.

And I feel like if there was a brand ambassador to a specific alien thought helmet, that would be – like LMFAO could be that thing. They could be that brand ambassador. They could be the supreme of alien helmets. That was funny to nobody. Sorry about that. Sorry. Sorry, no. I'd like to say, and I don't want to bring things down, but between this and a lot of the, you know, vaccine, anti-vaccine stuff that has come around.

Sure. I don't have any personal connection to this, but I just... It seems like autism is the thing, condition, whatever you want to call it, thing du jour that people latch onto and use as a weird cudgel, like a weird thing. It's just... The fact that autism is always put in there is just like... Listen, you can equip a cudgel with a shield because it's only one-handed. Right, yeah. It's fine. I was... I don't know. Listen, you can equip a cudgel with a shield because it's only one handed. Right. Yeah, that's fine.

I was I don't know. I was really worried about this episode just because I think it's pretty common for autism to be kind of a whipping boy online. And yeah, yeah, that's what I was trying to say. it's like this guy pretty clearly has a negative connotation of uh you know i i don't know exactly how to refer to it a neuro disorder or something like that but sure sure um i don't think that that's necessarily the best way to put it but um you know like like he's mostly so crazy that you can discount it. But like... I don't know. How will you discount it though? Because think of all the research that he has and all the testimonials.

Obviously. There's two different websites here. I will say that given... Yeah, that's true. You forgot about NeuroHat.org. NeuroHat.org. Neurohat.org. I... Given the available options,

I would 100% rather people build hard drive baggy lined hats than be vaccine people. Yeah, I totally agree with that. Yeah. I mean, you can wear a crazy hat but at least you ain't spreading some measles i'm just you know right and so i you know i think this is a more productive form of being crazy than you know it makes you feel good it makes you feel good about it makes you feel good about, it makes you feel more confident.

You know, fashion is all about feeling confident. If you feel good when you're going out about a town, you carry yourself better, you project your positive aura, you put your positive energy out there in the universe, right? It's all good. And so if you wear a hat that makes you feel like you're not going to be abducted by aliens, then you should go to ball pit. That's B-A-L-L-E-T dot I-T. We'll be adding these to the merch pretty soon.

This is a thing that was discussed, and I don't know if it's funny enough. I genuinely don't know if this is funny enough to be a thing that we were going to do. But we recently released an episode about the Steve Bannon sex robot conference. And on the tail of that episode, we came up with this idea

of releasing a $2,000 shirt with kumquats on its face. There's only one in supply and all the donations go to the Southern Barbie Law Center. I don't know if that's funny enough to be worth doing. I mean, it's a legendary drop.

It's a legendary drop. It's a legendary drop. There's only one. So you're saying we have to kill Lemons to get this show? Yeah, yeah. I mean, somebody should. Legendary Lemons. Period.

Because otherwise, I'm going to keep going. All right, well, thank you so much for listening. And now we'll do something else. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye You can feel it all Okay, okay, I want to do something here. Can I have the floor and just have it be silent for just a little bit? This might not be worth it, so... Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. You got it, you got it, got it. This episode was brought to you today by ThoughtScreen Zoom. ThoughtScreen Zoom is not a shield, but it can help you make your own shield.

Go to any of the crazy websites listed today for information. That'll get you. Yep, yep. That's good. Yep, yep. Whoever's editing this, make sure you mute my track for that, because Bump Girl was scraping a fork against the plate for the entirety of it. I can say it again.

I kind of hesitated on it. I can do another clean read. It's fine. Alright, fuck it. Take two, John Tows. Go ahead. It's separate tracks. You don't have to. This episode was brought to you today by ThoughtScreen Zoom. ThoughtScreen Zoom is not

a shield, but it can help you make your own. Go to any of the crazy websites listed in this episode for details. Yeah. Okay, so now who's editing that? Editing that? Bump Girl apologizing. Hi, Bump! I can do it.

She's a little intoxicated. I can do it, take three.