The F Plus - 299: Lavender Scissors Overlord

Episode Date: March 17, 2019

With a couple dozen books in the Kindle store at about 300 pages apiece, Morgan Blayde's contributions to the urban fantasy genre could best be described as "relentless". His protagonist has a magical tattoo that helps him straight up murder a hundred guys in hand to hand combat, and I don't need to tell you that the female characters in his books like that very much indeed. Because sometimes you have to fight fire with hellfire, there’s episode 299 of The F Plus: Raised as a demon, armed like a gun merchant, and fueled by booze. Poorly constructed sentences are in this episode and this is that what this episode then does best.

One of those seemed quite slow. Alright, that's probably fine. It's probably fine! It's probably fine. Eh, it's all fine. Just edit in post. I don't give a shit. Fuck you, you're editing now!

Nope. Pay me, motherfucker! Nope. Pay me, motherfucker. Well, it turns out that this is the F+. A semi-literate place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. In the room tonight, we have Stog. All these books and he still can't spell. Steal an idea from Star Trek.

Yes, my hon? Love this series. Kane Deathwalker is an original and refreshing male protagonist that you can't help but find very entertaining. I recommend this series as a must-have. Jimmy Franks. This podcast is intended for mature audiences.

Sort of. Vortex. Hunter adored world music, alternative and especially symphonic rock. Nightwish rules. Yeah. And Lemon. music, alternative and especially symphonic rock, Nightwish Rules! Yeah! And Lemon. In the end, Max risks her irradiated soul, the love of her life, and their

future together to keep the Earth in one piece against a weaponized black hole. That's just what a hot fashion-forward heroines do. That's exactly what they do. Well, yeah. It goes without what they do. Well, yeah. Goes without saying. I'm kind of insulted you thought you had to spell it out for me.

Hey, F-Bus. Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, have you read any good books lately? Well, I did read a whole bunch by Morgan Blades. I've... What a wacky coincidence. Morgan Blade, really? Tell me more about this Morgan Blade that you've read.

That piques my curiosity. Well, his name is Morgan, but he's actually made up entirely of swords. He has little knives for fingers, you know, those little Gerber knives that you buy on Amazon. That's basically his deal. Okay, great. Well, that's different than the person that I want to talk about, whose name, coincidentally, is also Morgan Blade. He's Edward Scissorhand's cousin. Sure.

So this is Morgan Blade. He's Edward scissor hands cousin. Sure. Uh, so this is, uh, this is Morgan blade. Uh, uh, he is a writer, um, uh, by the name of Morgan blade.

That's B L a Y D E, which is, uh, very, very sexy. Um, uh, he's a dapper young man and,

he's got a bunch of books on Amazon. Um, I was going to tell you just a moment about him. Uh, so he's born in Brazil. He came to the United States in his early teens. As a writer, he focuses on the paranormal and occult, adding a

weird spin all his own to the urban dark fantasy genre. I just really enjoy writing. I'm now sucking in the first person. And the urban dark fantasy genre lets me come up with some great stories. Morgan Blade did at one point have a website online, but it is not online anymore.

However, all of his books on Amazon are, of course, still there. So this is a document given to us recently by Cheapskate and i think uh for a little while i want to just um uh share with you a couple of um these uh these books that morgan blade has written see if any of them pique your interest uh if so you know you've got some you've got some reading to get to sound good awesome yeah fantastic so uh so jimmy franks yes sir uh i'm i'm excited about learning a little bit more about this morgan blade and and and reading uh some of his work um i'm excited about learning a little bit more about this morgan blade and and reading uh some of his work um can you tell me just a little bit about the demon lord series would you like a plot synopsis or a plot synopsis synopsis ease i'm not really sure how to pluralize it so uh either one all right well let me tell you. The Demon Lord books are the fucked up adventures of Kane Deathwalker, man.

Wow, what a badass name. Yeah. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Deathwalker. It's a boy. It's Kane Deathwalker, because sometimes you have to fight fire with hellfire. There's Kane Deathwalker. Raised as a demon, armed like a gun merchant, and fueled by booze.

Nice is a dirty word, and killing's what he does best. Make a contract with hell, and he could be on your side. God help you. Are you reading this like it's a Pepperidge Farm cookie commercial? Remember when you made that pact with Satan? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Let me set the table for you, friends. I love that. Kane signs on to guarding the beautiful daughter of a leading Japanese industrialist. Protecting is harder than indiscriminate murder and mayhem, but gold is gold, and the prize of a mystic demon's sword is dangled over his head as added incentive. Haruka will make an interesting bonus if he can get her out of her kimono. Oh, dear. Oh, my.

And the damn living zombies will leave them alone long enough for him to bang her. Oh, fuck you. Am I right, fellas? Yeah, the zombies are socially awkward. Damn it, you guys, get out of here. Awooga. Powerful succubus is playing cat to Kane's mouse, but he has a cat of his own. A black leopard spirit beast from the Amazon jungle that's taken a liking to him and his booze.

I'm going to need a bingo card here. Let me lower my sunglasses for a second. All right. And then there's his father, an ancient Atlantean demon with a code of honor. Formidable backup, but Kane senses a greater threat lurking in the shadows. Something primal, hungry, and possibly more evil than himself. Oh, it's this succubus cat. Never mind. This book is intended for mature audiences.

How mature, though? It's immature audiences. Yeah. So, great, that was the plot synopsis for Red Moon Demon, which, of course, as we all know, is Demon Lord Book 1. Sounds good. I'm excited. But there's many, many books in this series. And we're going to learn a little bit more.

We're going to keep going. Book 2 is called Green Flame Assassins. Dog, will you tell us a little bit about that, please? Because sometimes you have to fight hellfire with hellfire. There's Kane Deathwalker, the guy who walks death with a cane. Raised as a demon, armed like a gun merchant, and field like

booze. Oh, right. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Is that a good theme going on? It's really good. Yeah, I just told, you just heard about this a minute ago, but I gotta remind you all again because it's an audience of goldfish. Nice is a dirty word and killing is what he does best.

Make a contract with hell and he could be on your side. God help you. Kane's hired to recover a stolen fey artifact. I don't care how that's pronounced. Fuck you. With his combat butler, a weird kitty

entourage. Combat butler? Yeah, combat butler! Hell yeah! Combat butler. Would sir like an ass kicking. Oh, that would be so good, though! And a hot vampire slayer at his side, he invades Sacramento,

where a shadow war is raging for the dominion of the city. The stakes have never been higher. Kane needs to... If you've been to Sacramento, you know it's kind of like a portal to hell, you know, am I right? Maybe. I don't know. Take that, NorCal. You say so.

Kane needs the Stone of Dreams to stop a master vampire's behind-the-scene maneuvering. Complicating his business, a green flame assassin who is both mob woman and monster bear. Just wants him dead.

Yay! Yes, you heard him! That line is just like, it's assumed you know what a monster bear is. It's a bear that's a monster. A monster bear. Hello. So get this.

It's a monster bear, but it's also a woman. Does that make you horny? Oh, no. Are you horny right now? I'm imagining like a bikini babe with a giant kiwi bear head on top of her body. Yeah. You're jacking off at this point. That's what you're doing.

yeah are you you're jacking off at this point that's what you're doing anyway ultimate survival for the city hinges on a weird liger who doesn't want to get involved i like it oh finally i i love the books that napoleon dynamite writes well kane isn't taking no for an answer and of course this book is intended for mature audiences which means that children of the age of 14 to 18 will enjoy this. So get it. Horseshoe theory. This is what's going on here.

It's fine. What do you got? The third book in the Morgan Blade Urban Fantasy series. Yay! Star Priestess. Time Life Books presents Because sometimes

you have to Star Priestess Yo, DJ, run that shit back. From hell. She's hot, lethal, and not supposed to be alive. Cain's father killed off all the Atlantean demons ages ago,

leaving only himself. But real or not, the Blue Star Priestess and her demon son are on a mission of vengeance, orchestrating an invasion from the shadows.

All of LA is their target. Kane is hit from every side, all but jumping flaming hoops like a circus poodle. Betrayal of his city

may be the only way to save it, as long as nobody finds out. Perpetual audiences. Oh, I was going to give it to my kid, but hey, thanks, man. You might want to give him Guitar Hero instead. You know, I think I figured out the prologue to each one of these. I think this guy wrote all of them in Outlook, and he had this set as his signature.

Just like a signature that comes before the message? Yeah, yeah. Oh, finally, the first book I can read is a PST file. He puts it right into the VCF when you export his profile. It just dumps the book into your Outlook. Portex, let's keep going. We got White Jade Reaper. I'm excited about that one.

Yeah. Your Morgan Blade name is a color, a type of mineral, and a scary thing. Who can we make that card? Priestesses are pretty scary. Because sometimes you have to fight fire with hellfire.

There's Cain Deathwalker. Raised as a demon, armed like a gun merchant, and fueled by booze. Nice is a dirty word, and killing is what he does best. Make a contract with hell, and he could be on your side. God help you. Make a contract with hell, and he could be on your side. God help you. In The White Jade Reaper, Dracula wants his coffin back.

That's a great movie title. Give that back to Dracula, he needs it. Excuse me, uh, uh, excuse me. Kane's on the job. One hitch, a little ghost girl is haunting his dreams, wanting him to find her killer, too. No problem, what's one more body amongst the rest that keep piling up? Since dealing with the dead isn't his thing, Kane reunites with an old friend

who's a living doorway into the ghost realm. Grace brings along two chaperones, Madison, a vampire slayer in training, and Tuca, a two-ton food dog addicted to chocolate. Yay! I like it! Best character.

Death by chocolate and demons. I hug him. He's my friend. Santa Fe will never be the same. If it ever was. He went to New Mexico for this one. Road trippin' with Kane Deathwalker.

I want to tell you about Silver Crown King because sometimes you have to fight fire with hellfire raise the demon arm like a gun merchant fueled by booze nice dirty word and killing is what he does best contract with hell and it could be a son

anyway in Silver Crown King Kane's coronation date is a lord of fairy is fast approaching. As a demon lord, his welcome has been icy. The fae gentry are choosing sides. Some support him. Others want him very dead. Extremely dead.

Not just a little bit dead. Really, they really. There is no lack of assassins ambushing him everywhere. He turns both in LA and under the hill. I was anticipating this would take place in some place like Wichita. I feel like Kane Deathwalker needs to

lay off the booze and try some of these CBD gummies instead. Are they demonic? Kane Deathwalker has no chill. No chill whatsoever. In this book, Kane Deathwalker throws his money away. Those he depends upon have issues of their own. The old man is retiring and getting married, unless his bride kills him first.

Kane's lawyer has been savagely assaulted and isn't dealing well with her new responsibilities as alpha to the local werewolf pack. His enemies are even using magic to mess with him in his nightmares. What dicks? He's gathering to take him down. Oh, no. And all that his soulmate Selene wants to do is chain him naked to her bed. What a bitch! Women, right?

Selene, you gotta let me out of these chains. I gotta give Dracula his coffin back. I'm Monster Bear. I don't know how chains work. Give me a monster, honey. One of his enemies turns out to be a female version of him, and she's just as hard to kill spoilers

they fuck they definitely fuck they totally fuck dude fortunately for kane deep animal cunning and soul-searing violence is his best way out hell yeah you know kane is coerced by the way this whole thing is in caps kane is coerced by a tv exec into going on set where a celebrity reality show is being filming is yeah he's being filming being filming three's company is being filming in front of a live audience we're too wild and crazy death walkers nobody is what they are supposed to be his own demon guards are less than dependable ghostly specters in the haunted school want everyone gone a terrible dark secret hides from the light and an ancient evil is returning to prey upon the innocent complicating matters because everything was pretty simple up until now

there are two nearby hidden communities one One fey, one snake demon. I mean, those are the two genders. Fey and snake demon. Oh, also an infant ghost runs amok? Damn you, ghost babby. The fey take an interest, and what the hell happened beneath the ruined chapel where the long dead bodies have been in cover? Am I right?

You tell me. But this time his dreamwalking brings him in close combat with a snake man wielding poison wind magic. Kane is injured. Take that the way. His magic damage chains await him in a harem not of his choosing. And the most dangerous enemy he's ever faced is going to teach him all new levels of pain oh no what's gonna happen next level three kane must deep reach deep for more wild ass strength hell yeah than he's ever needed because he's entering the realm of a

primordial goddess with a thirst for blood. Worst of all, his fae queen Izumi has decided it's time they had a kid. A demon kid! Well, you know what they say. You know what they say? Write what you know. You know, this is why I don't read manga. It's hard to fucking keep

it up with all this shit. What's hard about this? It's very, very straightforward. Basically just crazy shit happens. I need pictures. Silver Crown King. Kane Deathwalker faces his most outrageous foe yet. Commitment. Oh!

Watch out, guys! Stock, it's very simple, because sometimes you have to fight fire with hellfire with Kane Deathwalker. Oh, that's nice. Oh, I'm sorry. fight fire with hellfire. Oh, that's nice. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Oh, they drop it for the next few, though. Yeah, so that series, Morgan Blade's Demon Lord series, all of them are available on the Kindle.

About four bucks a piece. Pretty good reviews in general, running somewhere between four to four and a half stars. Yeah, I read them all. Just now. Fantastic. Stog read them all while you were getting through that synopsis. Yeah, I didn't understand any of them, but I read them. So there's, yeah, about $4 a pop for all of these.

The covers are hideous. But we're going to move on to another series by the same author. And this is the Obscuro series. I think Jimmy Franks started us off again, please. So Fell Swoop is the first book in the Obscuro series. Fell Swoop, book one in the Obscuro series. Zane is dying from cancer, but things really get bad when his dad injects him with stolen nanotech that kills him and brings him back as a cyber zombie. Well, good job, Dad.

Ram! Ram! Ram! Look, Dad lost his driver's license, and now he has to get his son to drive him to the casino every weekend. A vampire corporation wants their nanites back. Vampire corporation? Yeah, vampire corporation. You don't like that band? A vampire corporation wants their nanites back. On the run, Zane seeks asylum at Darkhaven, a private academy for preternatural teens.

He and the vampire princess Raven join forces with Fell's Swoop. A private academy for teens who are just really good at being teens? They're just excellent at being teens? These are the teeniest teens you have ever seen. I feel like you've got a knack for being a teen, you teen. They're the most teen teens. He and the vampire princess Raven

join forces with Fell Swoop, a high school rock band, on their way to becoming a legend. Woo! The members have self-destructive issues, so leaning on one another and fighting for the same dream may not be enough to save them. They're up against a token human vice-principal with attitude. A vampire boy band called The Fallen and Obscuro.

and Obscuro, a shadowy paramilitary organization that's out to conceal the existence of supernaturals no matter what secrets or bodies must be buried. Struggling toward the future, Zane and Raven are blindsided by the most dangerous threat of all, the enchanted bowie knife of a

trusted friend. Yes! Look, say what you will, but like at no point in any of these has anyone said oh yeah that's really predictable i already saw that yeah i see that it's not for mature audiences only so maybe this is his young adult fiction this is the ya series this is a this is a coheed and cambria um style story writing for his book uh stock tell me about monster slayers oh yeah it's the next book in the series yeah sure this is this is the less well received of coheed and cambria's albums

but uh it's an extinction class event the ultimate monster comes from a dying universe to threaten the earth uh you know hunter doesn't want to be a monster slayer she just wants a quiet school life and to kick butt on her college archery team but the the twilight of the gods is dumped in her lap and stranger natural heroes okay i want everyone to picture themselves like sitting behind a table like a convention dealer's room and some guy walks up to you and starts saying this i don't have to imagine it look it's me i'm that guy i'm that guy i will never stop saying this stuff to you even as security carries me out i will never stop and you're wearing a coheed and cambria t yes i love coheed and cambria it takes a couple of security guys yeah half navajo half welsh give gifted with shaman blood and second

sight hunter's not quite a magical girl but she's all the hope humanity has left so she doesn't just magic enough yeah she's magical she's not quite a magical girl honey you're magic enough but she's all the hope humanity has left so but so she doesn't need the passionate distraction of a bad boy grim reaper who's after her heart and a lot more go to your room greaser but he's got a skull head are you gonna buy one of my pins or look the prints are still $20. I don't know what to tell you about it. I just wanted $15. We're going to go to the next book in the Obscuro series. Porn Tax, tell me about Desert Places, won't you please?

You go to Desert Places. Jame, Jem, can't catch a break. Her future's bright. She's happy until she discovers she's not really human. Jane is targeted by supernatural communities that want her to save them from her father, the ultimate monster from a long-dead universe. Things aren't improved much when she's possessed by the ancient ghosts of cursed giants. Oh, dear. Oh, I'm cursed!

Morgan Blade seems to have a dartboard he goes back to with some regularity. Yeah, basically all... This magna poetry kicks ass. Her father is days away from escaping the land of the dead and reaching the earth. There's not much time to master the wild magic in her blood, but it will have to do. All right, so there's a whole bunch of this document, once again, provided to us by Cheapskate. Thank you very much, Cheapskate. We've got a whole bunch of different plot synopses.

One thing about Morgan Blade, he sure does type a lot. So there's a lot more synopses we could read. However, we've also got some samples, some samples directly from the Amazon store. And I think that, you know, we don't need the sizzle. We need to just dig right in here. I feel like, really, that's how you get to know an artist, you know, is really interacting with his work. Exactly. Although I feel that with the Kitsune series, we don't have to read the whole thing, but I think just the all caps part.

All right. Take it, Vortex. All right. So there's a bunch of Japanese weeb shit going on here, but... Grace discovers she's the legendary Shadow Fox, feared by many, who want to put her down before her powers fully awaken. Those on her trail include Ryan,

a bad boy zombie demon mothman, who wants her heart, assorted earth dragons and witches who want her blood, and the paparazzi who want all the juicy details. More terrifying, Gracie's human and kitsune moms are fighting for her devotion. Gracie's slayer friend, Madison, turns needy, having mother problems of her own, which brings Gracie into contention with a master vampire.

Even worse, a hot blonde sorceress has appeared on the scene with designs on Sean, the unrequited love of Gracie's life. It's enough to drive a girl to murder. I think one of these protagonists has so many enemies. Yeah, Morgan Blades, all of Morgan Blades' protagonists are what if Walter Mitty had sex?

You know, when nice is a dirty word, you... Jimmy Franks is caught in a blurb loop you're gonna run a foul of uh probably a lot of people i guess so it's yeah jimmy franks uh so we're looking at the demon lord book four uh white jade reaper we we read a little bit of the sizzle there before but uh let's dig right into this let's open it up let's go right to page one you bet let's let's see let's see what happens here. Chapter one.

Every now and then, one needs to exercise one's demons. You guys think this got an editing pass? Just for some reason, I don't think it's got an editing pass. Look, you've got to make the demons do a plank. That's the only way they're going to get out and get exercise. So you're starting off with the wire thing, where you start off every episode with a quote from the character? Yeah. That's good.

Nice framing device. High Ridge separated the nightlights of El Paso from a deep blue sky. I was still some distance off from those nightlights coming into a nowhere dirt water cow town decorated with scrub. You've never been to El Paso, Texas. I missed seeing the name on the sign, but it was probably something like Misery, Texas. Just guessing.

I pulled up to a days of glory past a building that was worn wood, dirt caked windows, and weathered boardwalk. A couple dozen bikes were parked out front. A lot of black leather and chrome. I'd rather have been over in El Paso at a decent nightclub where drunk women were all but having sex on the dance floor.

That doesn't happen. Decent nightclubs in El Paso. Yeah, no, they don't exist. Unfortunately for my cock, my immediate goal was sharing pain here at bad willie's biker bar pleasure had to wait unless one would punch me in the dick i got out went towards door dressed to kill i wore cargo pants steel-toed boots a pair of combat field knives strapped on one thigh.

That's pretty good. Oh, a black shirt that wouldn't show much blood, an electric cattle prod in my belt with fresh batteries. I also had one of them RFID blocking wallets on a chain. My barrettes were still in the car because I didn't want my fun over too soon. Of course. I saw my want my fun over too soon. Of course. I saw my face reflected in a dusty window. The dust flattened my image, robbing it of humanity. My left eye glowed a deep red, almost black, while my right eye pulsed golden yellow.

Glowed black. Both were brighter than the last time my dragon half DNA manifested. Wow. Wow. DNA manifested. Wow. Wow. Holy shit. Wow. Does anybody want to tag in here? This is the most middle school thing I've ever read.

That's some goddamn cosplay. Tag in. Okay, I can't find the page on here. I'll tag in. All right. I went in. The furniture consisted of wooden tables and black leatherette bucket-style seats. Most off-putting were the murky blue plastic covers over the lights between the opaque

silver black ceiling panels. Oh no. This was like hanging out underneath an aquarium. This wasn't what I would have called a biker bar. Not that it will be standing for long. Are you going to shake down the pillars like Samson? He's going to get into kill-dose and just bulldoze this place.

You're thinking way too small time here, Lemon. You would not just push this down. Explode it with demon fire and it would explode into a million sexy breast angels and all sorts of things. Awesome. I walked to an open section of bar and looked left.

Several cowgirl waitresses in cropped shirts and short denim skirts. Now, cowgirls hyphenated, so they may be actual cowgirls. Since I seem to have a preoccupation with, like, werecreatures and jackals and stuff, who knows? They danced in western boots in the bar as a jukebox played something twangy with a country beat. Okay, the girls were easy on the eyes. That was one point for this place. A group of bikers stood

close to the ladies, swilled beer, watching with yellow-toothed grins. I had a grin, too. Mine was a great deal more predatory in nature. Oh, daddy! I had a big wolf mouth! Eventually, the semi-hot bartender came over.

She was a six. I was the hot bartender. She was a truck. I was busy. Her walk was casual and graceless like most humans who've never trained to survive. Dirty blonde hair was stiffened with gel to keep it away from her face. The style acted as

I immediately corrected her on her walking. Thanks for the Swifty, pal. That was really good. She stopped in front of me and smiled across the bar. What can I get you? A shot of whiskey. She leaned on the counter,

letting me get a better look at her C-cups. Oh, I thought he was stuttering. Better look at her C-cups. Oh, I thought he was stuttering. Better look at her C-cups! My bow tie started spinning around. Anything else you'd like to have? Demon bow tie. Oh, she said that. Never mind.

Maybe later. No, she definitely never went on the scene of her stoplight. Everyone sounds like this guy. Maybe later. I barely glanced through their eyes. Women try harder to pick up a man if he's a little disinterested. A bit of a challenge. Yeah, I've read those books. Also, if you wear a big stupid hat.

The eager guys just come off as desperate losers. She fetched my drink and continued to work the bar. I sipped on a generous shot of smoky amber whiskey. So they've got the nice stuff there at the biker bar. No, it's just something that somebody put their cigarette butt out in. Whiskey with a side of cigarette? Oh, it's brown. Don't drink that.

That's garbage. Four bikers came in from the back of the building, probably playing with sluts or drugs in a private room. A surreptitious hit. Can you direct me to the sluts back drugs in a private room. A surreptitious headcount. Can you direct me to the slut room back here? The slut machines. Maybe that's a typo. He's already typoed once with exercise.

Look, bikers love to call Jacks sluts. That's why they have to keep their image, okay? Well, a surreptitious headcount now matched enough bodies for all the bikes outside. The leader was obvious. The very pretty, underage student he felt up, in between awful jokes, was a dead giveaway. Tag! Dumb motherfuckers make it so easy to hate them. Why, Lemon, why did you choose that voice?

I'm gonna install some Linux right now! There was a moment that I was like I need to do a different Nope No Can't I finished my drink And I warmed up my tattoos With raw magic Keeping multiple spells

At the edge of activation Oh he's in edge play Ooh he's magic edging I turned So my interest in the bikers On my right was clear They wondered what I wanted Was I a narc? A rubbernecking civilian and so my interest in the bikers on my right was clear. They wondered what I wanted.

Was I a narc? A rubbernecking civilian passing judgment upon their unwashed bodies and riped odors? A potential customer? One of them nudged those around him. Five returned my regard. They shot me their best mean and scary stares. When I failed to wither, the five moved en masse toward me, heard instinct on overdrive.

They stopped well within my comfort zone when I didn't flinch from their ugliness or size. One of them, with a brindle mustache, put a hand on a gun hilt protruding from his belt. Another goon pulled a switchblade and leaned in, becoming the closest adversary. Guns don't have hilts.

Yes, they do. He had a gun blade. Come on. Oh, my mistake. Size isn't always a good measure of strength. I was short compared to most men, but a dragon hid inside me! Hello, it's me!

Now we're on his dating profile. Half my DNA wasn't human! Though outnumbered, there was no way I felt out of my element. I'd once beat an assassin to death with a Mustang! Like, the car or the horse? I still miss that car.

Okay. Hey, you got business with us? Knife guy asked. These guys thought they were badass. Lords of hell and all. The backs of their jackets identified them as demon lords. I found that insulting. That's why I'd pick them for the small purge

of my angry soul. I jumped for height and poised midair. Yes. Oh, like the Carrie Ann Moss leap from The Matrix. I mean, if you have demon power, you might as well just... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just gonna use these anime speed lines as a stepstool and... I was wondering what they were for. I kicked Knife Guy in the side of the head. I heard vertebrae snapping as his body cartwheeled into two of his bodies. They went down hard as I landed softly. I had my own gravity. The two goons still standing looked at their friends.

Total shock paralyzed their faces. Oh my god, he's so cool! Yeah, thank you for noticing, finally. Coming back to their senses, the two rushed me. A couple of brushing off swipes in the air deflected their grabs as I slid inside their guards and seized their throats. One in each hand, ducking low, I quarter-turned my body and slammed their heads into the end of the bar.

Skulls crunched. The bar wasn't helped out much either. It was then that the bartender decided she wanted to fuck me. Oh my god, you gave me so much work to clean up. Well, I was gonna call the cops, but I guess I'll fuck you instead. Vortex, tag in.

The two that had only been knocked down got up. No one else was coming over, just watching with casual interest. Several of them laughed at their friend's pain. I always keep track of changing odds. In a fight, you can't survive with a tight, narrow focus. You need total peripheral vision that takes in the entire space you occupy as you move. You also can't... You need actual

insect eyes. You also can't decide what to do. Your body has to be trained so it knows without being told. In this case, I bent my knees, losing a little height, touching my chin to my chest. An incoming fist glanced off my very hard skull.

I punched myself in the chin. Ow. My dad could beat up your dad. I guess in a fight, being artificially overpowered helps a lot, too. That is a tactical advantage. Yeah. The puncher grabbed his broken knuckles and cursed. His buddy pulled a gun.

I grabbed his gun hand, swung the weapon to his face, and made him pull the trigger. His chin in the middle of his face exploded backwards. A washing crimson. Motherfucker! Broken hand yelled. I grabbed the man by his shirt and kicked his balls out of existence. He went cross-eyed, and then his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Holding him up

by one hand, I walked him towards the biker's boss. In a hasty scramble, those around him left their stools, drawing their guns. Shots cracked in the air. The bikers killed my human shield. Warm blood dribbled out of his mouth and down onto my wrist. The iron tang perfumed the air.

That is so bad. The body got me in close enough so they had to stop shooting for fear of hitting each other. I dropped the body and sidestepping to wear away the edges of the group, throwing them off balance by making them turn to follow me

as I jabbed with the cattle prod. Several of them screamed like I'd smacked them in the nuts. A spinning backfist caved in one man's face. He dropped unconscious. That leaves 18 in county. Oh, God. Now we have to read this for five more pages at least.

This whole novel is one fight scene. He's paying attention to his odds, though. However, He's paying attention to his odds, though. However, after that he talks a little bit about his dragonborn toughness and whatnot. But then after that, there's 14 potential combatants that they left the room. I didn't count the bitches. Not with the deadness I saw in their eyes. Only the bartender might join in. She yelled,

You punks take it outside, you hear? I don't want the place busted up like last time. Nine people have been murdered? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. They have discharged guns like dozens of times at this point. Murder outside the bar. I said no horseplay. One guy got the bottom of his head blown off.

I think we're past take it outside. Would you stop? So, after that, there's a bunch of really gross things about a little girl getting scared or whatever. But anyway. Okay. And she runs away. Her eyes, her large eyes got larger. She scrambled up and ran past me.

The last of the bar patrons were surrounding me now. They'd found baseball bats, a few chains, and machetes. I felt the glass in the guts pain of fully activating my dragon flame tattoo. Fire burst from my hands and crept up my arms. The spot of fire cloned to my chest Eating through my shirt My ponytail grew out to its full glorious length It was also a dragon

Double dragon My fedora became more resplendent than ever The fingertips on my gloves disappeared I spilled a whole bottle of sriracha sauce on my body The pain ghosted away, an illusion of the mind, payment for the magic I'd called. Three men lost their nerve,

heading towards the door. Before they got there, I threw dragon fire! White hot flames wrapped them. They beat uselessly as a fire, screaming, but they were ashes in moments. Did you yell dragon fire as you threw dragon fire?

Un-fucking-doubtedly. Part of the floor and all the front wall was now going up. Fire clung to me, but I didn't burn. This made the last four bikers drop their weapons and back away in fear. The manager came from the back with two underage girls in various stages of disrobing, and we're going to skip that part because that's fucking gross. Various stages of disrobing, and we're gonna skip that part, because that's fucking gross. In various stages of disrobing? Yes.

So as they were coming out of the back, they started to take their clothes off? I mean, whatever. I ain't gonna look at them more than that. Fair enough. Yeah. Um, so anyway. I'm trying to become a nicer Jet Lear-me, I said.

It's not fucking working, he screamed. This guy was flying on some good shit, I must have known it since he was acting like the fire I wore was just a hallucination. I threw a few fireballs at the retreating bikers, driving them under the table. I was just thinking of

Magic Missile! No, I said you're dead! I threw a fireball at you. Don't get up. You're dead. So more of the girls do weird naked girl things. Who cares? I activated my Dragon War tattoo.

It felt like ice picks hitting my balls. The pain passed. I yelled at her, shut up, fugly. Not even 18 and all used up. Like you've got anything to live for. You see, I'm fucking disgusting, actually. What a likable character. Fat ass rushed at

me with a knife and pulled from behind the bar. It was aimed at my liver. Specifically, my liver. He stepped in to jab and turned his hips in one motion, proving that he had been in military. He put a scope on his knife to make sure that it hit his target. He moved his hips in one big motion, proving he had once been military. What?

Yeah. I grabbed the back of his blade, stopping the point an inch from my flesh. Fatass looked at his immobilized knife. Then my no longer human hand, the gold scales and black claw tips shocked him, white as a clansman's sheet. Why? Why that particular image? I smiled.

Yes, I really am what you're seeing. All I could smell now was the acrid fear peeling off of him. I snapped his chief knife in half and offered him the broken piece. Since my claws were still blazing with dragon fire, he didn't follow through with the impulse to take the blade, jerking his fingers back

at the last moment. My enchanted voice rolled out, Sit down! And it goes all like this. One of the last bikers with a drunken slur to his voice called out, Fuck you, cocksucker. You're fucking with the demon lords. You think you're going to get away with this?

He's killed all the other people in that room. Yeah, he actually does look. Yeah, he says he looked at him. Yeah, take a long look at me. This is what a real Demon Lord looks like. I'm really glad you guys are named the Demon Lord so I could deliver that cool-ass line. I've been using the dragon magic of my tats.

I let go of that. It's called all the shadow magic the old man had been teaching me. It used to be the magic of his monster energy drink tattoo, but they sued him, so he had to change it at the last minute. And then just a poor text, just right down there at the end, my red shadows near the end of this snippet. My red shadows. My red shadows on the wall leaped towards the surviving bikers. Out of, I guess, seven billion? Like, they keep running away and dying.

Stabbing them through... It's like Altered Beasts. They just jump out of graves. Lurks toward you. Stabbing them through their hearts, expanding, ripping them to pieces. I pulled in my shadows. They fell to the floor and slithered back to my feet. I walked over to the burning front door and kick it open.

Tenth shift. Fresh night air swept in to feed the fires. I went to my car and rumm open. Tenth shift. Fresh night air swept in to feed the fires. I went to my car and rummaged around in the trunk. I found my Beretta PX4s or PX4S. Callback. And reloaded

them with incendiary rounds. I put a bullet through most of the gas tanks. Faithful servants, the bikes followed their masters to hell. I studied my work from the side of my Mustang. The driver's door opened next to me. That should hold them. Sorry.

That should hold me for a while. So, obviously, great book. I mean, you can tell. Really, really good. Stirring. Exciting. Fantastic read. Really, really good. Stirring. Exciting. Fantastic read. There are some reviews.

There are some reviews here for this book. Jimmy Franks, what did Ian Hall think of this book? Yes, this is Ian Hall. I did not enjoy this book as much as the others in the series. I don't. Okay. Yeah, it had a good story, but there was not as blood, death, fighting, and carnage,

and I didn't like that. This is the scaled back fight scenes? No. If only this thing was a little bit more violent. Yeah, Kane Deathwalker is still great, and the other characters are fine. I still like the series a lot. I just hope the next book is a little more like the previous books.

So the next one is going to be, he killed a guy, then he the previous books so so the next one's gonna be he killed a guy then he killed a guy then he killed a guy then he killed the second book is just gonna be a i'm another this book is too much like the other books uh and uh stog you're alex oh yeah i'm alex so i i that's all. That's how I rolled all these books. My name is Alex, actually. And all I can say is wow. Normally, Kane is just an asshole man-slut, but in this book, he finally starts to show how devious he is. In the previous books, he was just about violence and destruction with no outright plan on how to deal with the situation. At least learning to plan and even the idea of having allies was foreign to him, but he grew up. Yeah, he had other characters to have witty banter with either way he is one kick-ass character and always makes me laugh that's weird did you know in a sterling dragon um pop tart he kicked a smoking habit by eating dog biscuits it's true i mean this dog i know you're making a joke there but that seems like the exact way that he like

assembles his synopsis we're gonna read one more because I think we're really we're I think we're really on the hook here I think we're really into this so we're gonna read one more little piece this is from black blood brother oh no that's problematic

no it's just a dumb word that's all and uh yeah so uh once again uh taking it uh right from the top here uh isfahan um this is a black blood brother to just take it from chapter one please okay i think i'm gonna try to try maybe reading this in the voice of the author. Popularity can be hell. Trust me, I know. A. Death Walker.

Your glasses keep slipping. Do you want me to tape them in your face? I know. Always makes you wish for a nuclear winter. Hold on, let me take off my headgear. Another Mountain Dew, sir. I'm picturing like a young Alan Arkin. As I'm reading this picture...

Did I kill them? He killed them? As I'm reading this picture, my hand's going up and down like I'm typing on a keyboard. Rising, leaving her table, she sashayed to the bar and took a stool next to me. She was hot. Scorching! Her lovely curved sheath did a thousand dollar dress of silver scales. Her platinum hair was upswept with a crowd of braids around a top dot.

Her smoky highlighter above black eyes was goth cheek. Her full lips tinted a creamy elderberry red, begged for ravishment. Look, I was willing to give your D&D campaign a shot, but I'm just going to have to shut down. No, you gotta talk to her or the adventure won't work. Shut up. This is erotic, you assholes. Look, as the only girl here in this campaign,

I'm just saying, perhaps you would have four girls playing your game. This is super erotic right now. I thought you'd be cool with it. Don't get all SJW on me. Anyway, she radiated a vibe of pure danger, but I'd have throwed myself on that grenade in a heartbeat. Okay. She eyed the half-empty pitcher in the polished oak bar.

The pitcher held... Yeah. I'm just hearing your voice, and I'm imagining this person in the throes of anaphylactic shock, because you just get more and more congested. Like, do you have another allergy? Do we need to get you... Somebody help me. Do we need to get you an EpiPen? It would be rude to blow my nose into the microphone.

The pitcher held half a gallant of bright deep red punch. My glass also gleamed red. No umbrella, just a thin slice of pineapple for garnishment. Garnishment? Garnishment. That's the word. I won a Scrabble game just two weeks ago with that word, so it exists, damn it. Look, the government is going to take away my thin slice of pineapple and I gotta keep it protected at all costs.

Uncle Sam is not getting this fucking piece of fruit from me. That's right. She said, That looks good. What is it? Rub, punch. Good. Oh wait, sorry. I gotta move. Rub, punch. Good stuff. Want some? Sure.

I lifted a hand to draw the bartender's attention. Another glass, please. Rum punch? He brought it over. Pineapple slice and ice included and set it in front of the lady. I poured a drink myself. She lifted the glass to her lips and sampled the beverage.

I envied her glass. That's smooth. So the previous thing, the guy ordered a shot of whiskey and the bartender was just like baffled that like i'm sorry you want a shot of whiskey by itself that's weird uh and then in this one uh the incredibly grown-up uh human that is a grown-up like orders the thing that like college freshmen get drunk on yeah Yeah. I'll have the Wapitui, please. College freshmen demons that are filled with

kitsune magic and machinery made from the depths of hell. It's about what they want. Excuse me, could I have the alcoholic Big Mac, please? Hold the mail. Just eject it in there.

Nodding, she smiled. I love this. I love this. You're welcome. I'm Kane. Sorry. I'm Krista You can call me Chris with a Y

Chris with a Y? Like you just call her that? C-H-R-Y-S So Kreese Kreese Kreese Christ With a Y

Why not? Is that what you're looking for easy adventurous there's a difference I'm eternally searching for a woman that can keep up with me that wants to I find that very sexy so you're a legend

in the sheets and yeah now I'm picturing like poor Tex and three other like D&D players just watch me act out the scene by myself. They're like on their phone. No, they're just, no, they're leaning over. It's just like, he's not really going to use those hand puppets, is he? He's not, right?

He is. He is. He's using the hand puppet. Is he dry humping the hand puppet right now? I'm using the DM screen as like the stage for the puppet. Is that what you're looking for? Find that very second. Okay.

Yeah, Legend of the Sheets. So, you're a legend of the sheets? I'm what they call in the phrase, basic in action. What? I don't get it. She took another sip. So, besides rum punch, what do you have to offer

besides a broken heart down the road? Wow. Memories made for forever. People have died for less. You can't even shut down your OC, right? I poured myself another. My inner dragon stirred awake. Rawr, hello. Get me. Oh, you pretty girl!

Yes, hello! Inexplicably, a third hand appears from behind the DM screen. I heard the mental sound of dragon coils slithering over each other. Golden eyes opened in the back shadows of my mind. Golden eyes opened in the back shadows of my mind. Golden eyes opened in the back shadows.

She doesn't smell entirely human. There are multiple traces of unnatural DNA in her makeup. I nodded to my other self. I know. I'm a demon lord. I pick up on these things pretty fast. She could be working with the latest batch of assassins

trying. Writing? Thanks, Garth Marenghi. As long as she sleeps with me, who cares? I'm going to tag in for this flashback here. Alright, here we go. For the last few months, when away from the clan house in LA, I've had to be on

high alert against mass attacks. Fortunately, my wits were never dulled by my enormous alcoholic intake. You're wrong about that. That's not possible. I set aside my personal security after losing a few good demons. They were cut down with no effort.

Two days to retirement. Let me tell you. Oh, shit. There are times when you have to face danger alone or maybe run off and join the circus. Being here in Las Vegas took care of both options. Oh, those famous Las Vegas circuses I've heard so much about. Yeah, I was at Circus Circus one time. Yeah, yeah.

I got a margarita that was in a boot, a giant plastic boot. It was fucking insane. Concentrating on protecting my people was a handicap I couldn't afford any longer. In the past, few of the assassins I dealt with matched the caliber I now faced. Someone was recruiting real talent from this city. A whisper from Selene, the Red Lady, in deep cover among my father's people. Indicated my enemies had support from the village. A secret pocket dimension with a single access portal here in Las Vegas.

That's a totally real true thing that happened. Alright. I can't read any of this paragraph. The demons can only take over Las Vegas because that's where their demon portal happens to be. Oh. And his lady friend discovered that because she was a spy amongst the Atlantean

demon folk. Location, location, location. Am I right? Facing the assassins on their own turf gave me a shot at finding their employers. Coincidentally, my adoptive father, the old man, and his dragon bride, my cousin, were coming here

soon for frolicking for their wedding and a honeymoon. Dozens of members of my demon clan would soon be flooding the town. I hope to have things wrapped up here before they arrive. The wedding episode. Hope springs eternal, but I wasn't exactly sure how I'd manage that. Stog, take him out.

Oh, you've gone quiet, Chris said. Losing your trust already? Oh, good. Hell no. I was just wondering if you were part of the attack. Oh, wall attack! She looked genuinely confused. There's magic in the air.

Why does my accent change? There's magic in the air, and I don't mean romance. The dimensional walls are weakening. That's pretty romantic. I eyed the mirror behind the bar, gave me a view of the lodge behind me, including the front door. A group of men, Lloyd or just outside, about to come in. They wore black slacks and shirts with black oversized coats

to help hide shoulder harnesses, which were probably white or gold lame or something that didn't match with that costume. I don't care. Who needs all these asides anyway? I'm just, I'm Morgan Blade. I love them. The guns they carried would have magic enhanced ammo. The same kind.

I could tell all of this by looking in the mirror. Yes. Yeah, you can see the bullets glowing inside the guns. Okay. The same kind I often used. She looked in the mirror. Yeah, you can see the bullets glowing inside the guns. The same kind I often used. She looked in the mirror. Someone's after you. Someone's always after me. You get used to it after a while

and actually start to look forward to it. I love a challenge. It gets the blood pumping. Makes me hard enough to fuck a rock. So I fucked a challenge. It gets the blood pumping. Makes me hard enough to fuck a rock. So I fucked a rock. And then they shot me in the back of the head while I was fucking a rock. With a magic bullet.

It's no fair! It's like it's geode, or like, is it polished? I need to know more about this rock that he's fucking. I like to fuck pyrite. That's fool's gold. What do they want? She sounded puzzled and interested. Maybe she wasn't part

of things. Look, I said, if you're not part of the setup, it's time for you to walk away and save yourself. She finished her drink, put the glass down, and slid off her stool. Oi, thanks for the drink! She left me

heading towards the hall with the restrooms and maybe a back alley exit. I watched the delightful wiggle of her retreating ass. Goodbye! The delightful wiggle of her retreating ass. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Oh, believe it, oh, believe it, oh, believe it, oh.

Goodbye! Hoping I may one day see it under less clothed circumstances. So, skipping through here, he spends a lot of time talking about people just walking around into the bar and stuff. If you scroll down, though, to, let's see here. Before attacks, just take it. Yeah, just take it. Okay.

I don't care. All right. So some guys come in and he says, two of these guys I knew from the last attack. One was Team Leader, ex-Special Forces with an eclectic fighting style and a fondness. That's capitalized because first name Team, last name Leader. Yeah, that's his name. He's Team Leader. His name is Tem Letter. He's destined for that job. And a fondness

for kicking you while you're down. The other familiar face smelled of wolf. Werewolf, to be precise. Not Timberwolf, like you were thinking. He had the best qualities of a wolf, and the worst ones of a human. That put his aggression level through the roof. I figured he'd be the first to pounce. Because he's a wolf.

The fourth guys were new hires, replacing two men I'd killed rather thoroughly. I wondered if they'd been told just why they'd been brought in so suddenly. I also wondered what their magical specialties would turn out to be. Put your cards on the table. The one I really needed to take out was the fifth man. The magic user still outside the altered space. Maintaining it while out of reach. So far I'd only seen him from a distance.

Running off as I shot at him. I'd finally named him Chicken Shit. Wolfboy sneered. His brown eyes warming to Amber. Going to offer me a drink? Drum Punch would only be wasted on you, I said. You can't have any. His voice got really soft. I'm sorry, I'm not sharing my Tahitian treat with you.

His voice got really soft. No. Absolutely not. Hell yes, I said that to provoke him Hell yeah I fell for it Fucking idiot Wolfspeed Stupid

Wolfspeed He blurred with wolfspeed His hands gripped the top and bottom of the pitcher Oh this wasn't banter He really did want a drink Can I at least have the cherry? I took my right hand off the pitcher, turned my forearm, and made a fist in order to trigger the device strapped on there under my coat sleeve. Spring-loaded, a bayonet emerged from my sleeve, and I took a small step forward. The triangular silver blade buried itself in his guts, detaching from the launch device.

The unseen mechanism automatically rotated a new bayonet into position for launching. How bulky is this thing in your sleeve? Isn't it only a bayonet if it's on a gun? I guess you would know it's on. Is it a bayonet if it's just attached to your arm? If your arm is a gun, like

Barret from Final Fantasy VII. I invented a gun that shoots knives. This guy seems to invent shit for this person on the fly, so maybe his hand is a gun. I don't know. Maybe he's Robocop. Robocop didn't have a hand for a gun. You're thinking of Mega Man. No, I'm thinking of Robocop.

Anyway. Yeah. No, I'm thinking of Robocop. Anyway. Yeah. The wolf fell dead, his human form twitching, his skin blackening from silver poisoning. I pivoted and ducked with the pitcher as the two newbies pulled guns from their jackets, extending their weapons, tracking me.

They wouldn't fire. There was too great a chance of hitting the field commander. If they took him out with friendly fire, they wouldn't get paid. Normally, tag, normally I could invoke a magic tattoo to summon my own Beretta PX4 storms and shoot back, but this altered space suppressed my magic while enhancing

dares. Totally unfair! That sucks. Making sure I was outside the spill of rum on the floor I reversed direction sweeping my lighter low to the floor I clicked it now this is rum punch that's been spilled on the floor this is not fair

ignited with a whoosh the spilled liquor burned a path to team leader yeah it's delicious nothing happened no this isn't fair you're interrupting my power fantasy Yeah. It's delicious. And with the whoosh, nothing happened. No, this isn't fair. You're interrupting my power fantasy.

His suit became a bonfire. Skipping some. But that didn't mean getting slammed with a flying piano didn't take its toll. The piano carried me across the room into a far wall. Most of the piano stayed there. I, of course, got the joy of being punched through drywall, shattering a strut, and almost my back. I crashed to the floor of a closed storefront, a hotel gift shop, and skidded into some steel racks holding clothing. A faceless mannequin toppled over me, going for a kiss.

Not now! I batted her off me and lurched to my feet, staggering a little. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Turned into Mandark? What the fuck happened here?

My eyelids fluttering, my ass clenching hard. I wrote out the effect, not even bothering to tell my other self to shut the fuck up. My bilocation spell activated. My bilocation spell activated. He's letting Google Maps

locate him. No, it just finds bisexual people in your area. While my physical body and part of my awareness stayed in a storefront, something like an astral image of myself drifted free. A phantom, I hovered in the air

for a moment and then directed that part of myself further away from the bar. At a certain distance, my physical form would have hit the boundary of the altered space and been stopped, trapped inside of it. I'm explaining the rules of magic now. I hope that in an intangible state, part of me might break through and reach chicken shit,

the key to the trap. Making it sound like chicken shit is like an elevated state of being. Although with that you should... Skipity skipity skip. Confusion left the hex master's face as I stabbed him through the heart. The sword drained his screaming soul, adding it to a storehouse of similarly consumed spirits. The sword said, that's good. Yeah, that's fine.

Whatever. Also, it's worth noting in the paragraph before all this, he comes in his pants from being so happy doing this. Is that true? Yeah, just get in the paragraph right before the one you started on, the island splitter. Through the magic link? Hmm? Through the magic link that connected me with my armory back home,

I summoned my demon sword. The armory paid the price of magic from its store, so I felt no pain in doing this. A length of black steel appeared, the sword shimmering in red energy. I held the hilt, but to chicken shit, the hexenmeister, it must have looked like the sword had popped out of thin air on its own. The aura of the sword bled into the air was one of eternal hunger and savage need. It shivered through me

painfully, disorienting my astral image. As the owner of the new sword, the demon blade kicked back a little of its new energy back into me, stabilizing my ghostly form a little more. Before the sword could think

about eating my incorporeal self as well, I distracted the blade with its own relentless hunger. There's more of these guys close by. Wanna eat them too? Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah! Go get them! The barrier would be down. My magic tats

would all work now. The mercs were going to get hurt. Badly. It was a promise I made to myself. Thanks, my sirvich. I really want to read the paragraph that's like at the top of page 30. Take it.

Okay. I had a special little tattoo that I seldom used. I only thought it might still work. The tats I could use were the ones only affected me, nothing else. The ones I couldn't use had altered space, were offensive in nature. Using my half-dragon magic while in human form had always required a price of pain. This was no different.

Except it was. The flip of natural laws in this tailored dimension changed the pain I should have felt into an orgasmic rush. I came in my pants, pleasure spiking in my brain from an endorphin rush. My inner dragon said, Rawr, I didn't see that coming. Get it?

Coming? Coming? Eh? Oh. I didn't realize. I didn't realize that coming and coming. Arriving and then. Yeah.

It means jacking off. Okay. So Morgan Blade is at a sci-fi convention and he's having a panel Q&A and I just raised my hand and I'm the first to the microphone. Okay. I have a recent question. Why doesn't his eye glow read anymore, and how much stronger is he compared to Bluestar Priestess? Because he took out this brother way easier than the other, and why he gave Angie away.

I hope somebody got fired for that blunder. Shut the fuck up. I'm coming in my pants. I hope somebody got fired for that blunder Shut the fuck up I'm coming in my pants So F plus what did we learn from the From the wit and witticism of Morgan Blade I don't know What did we learn

I mean if he was If he was being like a little self aware In this I think He could actually come up with something that was like interesting He seems to be holding his cards pretty close to his chest on this. I didn't detect any winking to the camera.

No, I don't think so. I really don't think so. If it was more self-aware, it could be just fun. Just fun for fun's sake. We skipped over a lot of stuff that's misogynist and racist and stuff, which makes it considerably less fun. I think it's really, really refreshing to hear of a fantasy author who isn't just using the main character as a surrogate for their own fantasies.

He's a flawed and complicated human being with good and bad qualities. Yeah. It's very subtle and bad qualities. Yeah. It's very subtle and nuanced, this character. I'd like to read more. Well, you can read lots and lots and lots more. Any of these books in the series are hundreds of pages. Like, it's about 300 pages a book. So, God, i just don't uh i mean i'm i'm i'm envious of that uh ability to do that

like to just sit down and just type that many words uh i mean there's something enviable about that for sure like i don't know that the work necessarily ends up great, but boy, you sure did make it, and that's a thing. Well, it's easy to write a lot of words when you don't give a shit. Yeah, I was going to say, you can be very prolific as a writer if you're just fully into the Dunning-Kruger effect and you have no idea. And you've given no thought to editorial passes or anything like that. You're just letting it flow out onto the page and just thinking of what a genius you are.

There's something weirdly pure about this type of writing because you'd think that it's kind of cynical, but I think you have to be guileless in order to just be so prolific with this voice. There's a trapper- keeper innocence to all of this. Yeah, it is. But the flip side of that, yeah, is that like the flip side of that trapper keeper innocence is like kind of an ugly adolescent understanding of like, you know, what's acceptable to think about women and people around you and just stuff like that. I know we have... I know we have fun, but

today's Morgan Blade could be tomorrow's Todd McFarlane or Rob Liefeld. That doesn't make me feel better. Jimmy Franks, he would have to do a lot of growing to get to where they are. Look, anyone can be president, especially Morgan Blade. When Morgan Blade is president, would have to do a lot of growing to get to where they are look anyone can be president especially morgan blade and more when morgan blade is president he's going to make he's going to

make his oc fantasies real okay that's how it works just federally mandated black leather trench coats bye bye bye bye I guess is this dog going to unionize the ridiculous. Nope. I'm taking all the union dues. Oh, I see.

So it's a full on half a thing. Yeah. Yeah. You're you're you're skipping straight to the corruption. Yeah. If it's going to end there anyway, like why go through the effort? Right.