The F Plus - 308: Is It Edible?

Episode Date: August 17, 2019

Originally launched in 2005, Is It Normal? is a website where people can describe their own peculiarities, and the rest of the internet can weigh in on if that is "normal" or not. For our second trip to the site, we're looking specifically at the food-related questions that people have asked the site, and learning very little in the process. This week, The F Plus is in solidarity with that Chili's waiter.

I'm curious about his rates. How many orgasms for a CSS template and some animation? Or is it more by the hour? If so, is it one-to-one, or what's the exchange ratio? Oh, shit, it's the F Plus Podcast. That's a normal place, but there's terrible things and they're red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Stog. Is it normal I freeze McDonald's burgers?

Squiddy! I'm sorry this episode McBlows. Jack Chick. Who the hell steals Legos? My Harry Potter Legos, my normal Legos, all gone. What the fuck? Is there a Lego thief drink or something? And Lemon.

Fuck you. You stole mine. You didn't, too. Those were costume made on 24 karat gold. You better return them or I'm going to bust the cops on your ass. I can track IP addresses. Hey, F-Plus. Hi, Lemon. Hi there. Hey, do you think that I'm normal? Sure, we+. Hello. Hi, Lemon. Hi there.

Hey, do you think that I'm normal? Sure, we all do. Yeah, whatever Stog says. Well, Stog has always been my standard of what normal is. Yeah, he's the bellwether. I'm extremely normal and extremely fine. That's a good bumper sticker. Extremely normal, extremely fine. That's a good bumper sticker. Extremely normal, extremely fine.

Today we're going to be going to a site that we've been to before, back in 2012. This is a site called isitnormal.com. Oh! Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah vintage stuff is just a question that asks is it normal or rather rather the the members of is it normal.com will ask the question of if something's normal uh and then everyone will weigh in so uh for example uh the very first thing here in the doc is is it normal to call a crumpet a crampet? Okay. Sometimes I say to my mom, instead of are there any crumpets, I say are there any crampets or crimpet? It depends.

And that is 48% normal. So everyone can weigh in on these things. This is a document given to us by Rot, the first time from one by Rot. This is a document given to us by Rot, the first time from one by Rot, and this particular document is called, Is It Edible? Oh, no. Yeah, that's right. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we're going to start off with a whole bunch of posts about food, and Jack Chick? Yeah, I like food. Yeah, you do like food food so that's great and so does this poster right here this poster uh has a question uh and once you ask that question please is it normal that i eat salt straight out of the salt shaker i do it why why isn't it i'm kind of addicted to eating salt by itself like i will literally pour salt onto my hand and lick it off. I used to do this all the time when I was a kid, then when I got a bit older, I realized how disgusting

it was. Stop. I think the disgusting part is the licking yourself. Oh, I'm sure this kid's really clean. I mean, cats do it. Yeah, very true. You're just returning the water to your body. Yeah. But a few weeks ago, I was in McDonald's with one of my friends, and as a joke, they poured a whole packet of salt on one chip and ate it.

Then they dared me to do the same, and I did, but it tasted really good. I almost always use salt in restaurants, but they still don't always taste salty enough. This extremely salty chip tasted amazing to me. Then after I started doing it again, shaking salt into my hand and eating it by itself. I will sometimes do this two or three times. It doesn't really bother me, and it's not exactly a serious addiction, but I know if I carry on doing it, it will probably cause serious health problems. I just want to know if anyone else does this, and if anyone knows the reason behind it.

Player character has obtained sodium addiction. The result, 19% normal. 19% normal. I like the idea that he went into McDonald's and he was like, this is good, but I wish there was more salt on it. I really like what Lord of Opinions has to say here. What does Lord of Opinions have to say? I really like what Lord of Opinions has to say here. What does Lord of Opinions have to say?

Well, from skimming Google about the subject ingesting too much salt affects your blood pressure, I think you better stop before you blow a blood vessel in your brain or heart. Do you need to Google for that? Doctor Lord of Opinions. Yeah, Doctor Lord of Opinions from Texas. Just go to the doctor and be like, yeah, so I posted on this forum and this guy responded and said that I probably have high blood pressure. Can you help? Stock, you have a food opinion that you wanted to find out if it's normal. Yeah.

Is it normal that I don't like any soup in the world? How many soups have you had? I've had all the soups, especially the ones that are considered not really gourmet soups, but you know, soups full of organisms like in the pre-Cretaceous period. That's not on the doc, but I wish it was. Like primordial? I wish that was on the doc. Good. Well, I've, if trend, almost anything,

but I feel like I hate something in every soup, but I always have to eat it. I feel very fed up after it it. Like very fed after? Very fed up after it it. Very fed up after it it. Like, very fed after? Very fed up after it it. Very fed up after it it. And the comments are full of comedian. Oh, what sort of funny comments here?

Oh, it's a lot of people saying no soup for you. That's very funny. It's nothing to stew over. Ha! Wow! Wow! Yeah, so this guy eats just soup all the time but hates it so yeah so i so i think it's just reading down uh he actually responds in the thread yeah about the soup uh what does he say, Stog?

Oh, you're talking about Unicorns for Real, right? Yeah, that's the, I'm pretty sure that's the OP. Well, my name is Unicorns for Real. Homemade soup and it's my mom's. Everyone loves it, but I hate every soup everywhere. Thanks, Tuff. I can't eat something else if I don't eat soup. I can't see. I get punished. Actually, my mom gets mad

and puts me grounded. I don't think he's old enough to use the internet. I think he's like eight. Eight-year-olds busting out the hot soup tapes. The top of Isn't Normal says, we're here to help each other play nice.

Safe, lowercase registered trademark is on. Asquini, what do you want to say here? Isn't normal that I get food rage? Oh, dear.

If I'm really looking forward to a meal and it doesn't turn out how I imagined, I get really annoyed and attack the food. What? Wow. Take that. Once I ordered fish and chips, and when I came home, all the batter was stuck to the paper. Peel off the fish.

I was so angry, I punched my fish and chips and cried. You punched the fish and chips? Who's going to make a joke about punching the food? Once I ordered a Chinese takeaway and I ordered crispy spring rolls. And when I came to eat spring rolls, they were all, sorry, you're not crispy at all. I was so annoyed I scrumpled the spring rolls. Whoa.

That sounds horrible. I scrumpled the sprinkles. I scrumpled. Stop laughing. I have rage. I scrumpled the spring roll up in paper and threw it across the room. Is it normal?

And what does his normal think about this? I am creased at this. Ha ha, looing. So it's only 24% normal, the food rage. Creased at this. Yeah. Yeah. I am creastathus.

They're just positively folded. Oh my god. Hey, S+, I have a question I was hoping you would help me out with. Mm-hmm. Is it normal to always crave sushi and sashimi? Oh, boy.

What? Yeah. Always? Always. Yeah, it is. It's always. It's normal. It's very good and extremely cool. Great.

Excellent. Excellent. Look, I don't know if this particular piece of information will be relevant or not, but I've never had sushi or sashimi. Okay. Or any other type of Japanese food before Sure What do you do with your time?

Even though I enjoy watching anime You don't say Japanese superheroes Japanese samurai movies And Japanese monster movies Like Godzilla and Gamera I've always wanted to try sushi, but I don't know of any good Japanese restaurants in my area.

But, after doing some research, I was able to find a Japanese restaurant a few months ago. Okay. And didn't go there, apparently. First time. Oh, no, okay. First time I went, I tried some octopus sushi, apparently. First time. Oh, no, okay. First time I went, first time I went,

I tried some octopus sushi, which was actually delicious. Oh, wait a minute. What? I've never had sushi before. No, I... Never had sushi before. Right, octopus sushi doesn't have...

Okay, never, never, never, ever. Never, ever, never. No. Huh. What did you do later? Anyway, then a week later, I went back and had some squid sushi and octopus sashimi for the first time. Okay.

Okay, so. Also, it didn't count. So, so, okay, so I've never had any sushi before. Wish I would. Gonna go not apparently go to this Japanese restaurant, and then I'm just gonna go straight for the fucking octopus? Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. He watches a lot of anime. Yes, yes. Japanese restaurant, and then I'm just going to go straight for the fucking octopus?

He watches a lot of anime. Yes, yes, that is what they eat in a glorious Nippon. You can eat the weird squiggly things in the water. I just found this out. And then I had a very authentic spicy tuna roll. Anyway, ever since then, I'd be craving sushi and sashimi all the time uh my list went away especially the octopus sashimi i mean i can't get enough of that sometimes when i go to that

japanese restaurant i get the urge to just order every piece of sushi on the menu but of course i don't have enough cash with me for that. Every time I get hungry, sushi is all I can think about eating. Even right now! This is like the movie Requiem for a Dream, except it's not about drugs, it's about food.

And someone dies because of someone improperly cooked fugu. Yeah, Squiddy, take Gypsy Sailor, please. It's certainly not normal, but then again, there's nothing wrong with it either. I have, at several times in my life, considered marrying a Japanese girl just so I can eat the food

as often as I please. Oh boy. But then, at other times, it was an Indian girl for curries, or a French girl for that food, etc. For that food? French girls are always just making baguettes. Jack, take a short four words, please. It's Chinese, very traditional, and usually eaten around lunchtime.

It's pan-fried and boiled dumplings around lunchtime it's pan fried and boiled dumplings along with a bunch of other interesting things it sounds simple and boring but i swear to god it's one of the best things out there just try it one day take some friends or a girlfriend or your mom i can't decide which one i like better i can't decide between his friend's girlfriend or mom either what the hell is he talking about? Why not a little bit of both? Yes. All at once, please.

Hey, if you crave me, eat a dick. What the fuck? This guy just comes in and is randomly like, oh, you like sushi. Let me tell you about something else. I think there was some discussion of dim sum earlier. There was some discussion of dim sum. This is a long thread of comments. Yeah, and it's not

parsed in a way that makes it followable. The Grapist says, if you crave meat, eat a dick. And then Eccentric Weird says, if you crave meat, eat a dick. And then Eccentric Weird says, surefire sign of fire-rotten-crotch syndrome. Yes, yes. Once again,

is it normal? We're here to help each other. Play nice. Play nice? This might affect your MMR rating. For me, it's salmon sashimi. The texture feels like a vagina. Oh, God! Only salmon sashimi. The texture feels like a vagina. Oh, God. No.

Only salmon sashimi, specifically salmon sashimi, reminds me of a vagina. Don't give me any other fish sashimi, though. Salmon is the vagina sashimi. I don't know. I've always thought that the rice is the best part of the vagina, personally. the rice is the best part of the vagina personally. I mean, if you can't find a vagina with good quality nori, you might as well just not even be fucking.

Jack Chick. Hi. I got something for you here. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Okay. Yep. Is it normal this disgusting giant noodle? You know what?

Right off the bat, I'm going to say yeah. Absolutely. Yep. Noodles get wet and then they get floppy. Thanks, dog. You're welcome. Some friends of my family went to the food bank once and ended up giving us some of their food they got.

It was all this no-name cheap crap I'd never even seen for sale in any store. It was very low quality. One of the items was a can, yes, a can, of macaroni and cheese. Not a can. Goats eat those. not a can goats eat those i was hungry so i was gonna eat it picture on the can look normal enough so i'm in a can it turns out it was one fat long noodle and some soupy watery cheese that's amazing that does sound really yeah yeah why is there not a YouTube video

I guess there probably is I mean More like it was Yellow water, essentially There wasn't anything resembling cheese in there It was so fucking gross The noodle was the diameter of my ring finger And a foot and a half long

It was sloppy and soggy Didn't even taste at all like pasta He ate it yeah great yeah of course yeah yeah you you know you know when you see something gross you got to eat it you got to conquer your fears true yeah i picked up the can to inspect the picture again realized they had carefully arranged the noodle in the cheese sauce to make it look like it was normal elbow macaroni now that i knew better i could see it was normal elbow macaroni. Now that I knew better, I could see it was just them disguising the nasty thing.

I took one bite because... Boop, that shit went right into the trash. Makes me sad that some company actually makes that garbage. Does anything like this happen to you? You ever been duped? What's the most disgusting food surprise you've ever gotten? Is it normal to get fooled by bad food? Yes! Every day! Come into my kitchen.

There are some weird things in there. I'm looking, so I'm doing a Google image search. The only thing that I can find here is a Heinz macaroni and cheese. You know, Heinz. Yeah, no, cheap crap. Couldn't find it in any store. So maybe the macaroni and cheese,

like that can was so old that the noodles just glued together into one giant noodle? I'm actually kind of impressed with the honesty in advertising that they got one of the big giant noodles and artfully posed it noodle? I'm actually kind of impressed with the honesty in advertising that they got one of the big giant noodles and artfully posed it

so that it looked like elbow macaroni. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The food photographers, they all sign a contract to not be misleading. Yeah, no, this is what the Wendy's Bacon Deluxe looks like.

Absolutely. Yeah, no, this is what the Wendy's Bacon Deluxe looks like, absolutely. Far more superstar loves it. Yeah, that's a good sign. That's a healthy looking dude. Did you hear about that, though? He did a bacon... Yes. Yes. Yeah.

He did a live concert in a Wendy's. In South Minneapolis. Yeah, in South Minneapolis. And he changed the words to his song to... I mean, you gotta make money somehow, right? I'm very much hoping that made money. I'm really hoping he got paid for that. I hope that he's like the new face of Wendy's.

It's that perfect. It does make sense, yeah. I really think that an advertising campaign with Harmar Superstar would be just perfect for Wendy. It would be. It would be divisive the way the Quiznos creatures were. Oh, those Quiznos, yeah. The weird, disgusting vermin that were the quiznos but it was kind of fun at the same time because you're like yeah and if you want marketing advice

for your brand you can go to ball pit p-a-l-l-p dot i-t i mean just as a sort of on-brand thing, I've always been really happy when Fago announced the official artist of Fago. Right, Uncle Cracker. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, Fago, the soda, was like, we need to have an official rock and roll musician who really represents the brand of Fago. Right, right. And we want somebody to be local from the Detroit area. So they went with Uncle Cracker. brand of faggo right i mean you want something to be local from the detroit area right so they went with uncle cracker like literally the only reason you would do that is just to fuck with

the same clown there's nothing else gained i'm just glad the guy from camper van beethoven is getting work. Oh, that's a bad one. Don't say that to Lemon, man. Poor David. Poor David Lowery. Fuck you, David. Oh, Lemon's gonna be crying tonight. Is this because he tried to sue Rap Genius? Did he do that?

He did actually try to sue Rap Genius. Didn't work out. Hey, I eat a lot of filthy food Is that normal? Yeah, it's normal I've always been rather cavalier Regarding cleanliness with food I never wash my hands before eating Most of the time I don't do it before or after cooking

I get filthy at work And I never wash before lunch My hands will be black and crusty I don't do it before or after cooking. Great. I get filthy at work. And I never wash before lunch. My hands will be black and crusty with tools, chemicals, and grime. But I don't care. I've never cared one bit about this. Okay, I told you I didn't want to do a fetish dox. Yeah.

No, I don't care. I've never cared. I've never been sick from it it I'm as strong as an ox and fit as a fiddle lots of times my dogs will try to sneak a bite off my plate and I just pick up what they snatch and take it back and

eat it I don't even care if they've gnawed up half a pork chop I'll still take what's left back and eat it I drop food all the time I look at it brush it off I don't care if they've gnawed up half a pork chop. I'll still take what's left back and eat it. I drop food all the time. I look at it, brush it off, and any hair and larger rocks.

Nom, nom, nom. I don't mind a bit of grit. Hair is a definite no-no, though. Where is he eating that large rocks are attaching themselves to the pork chop? I eat in the Grand Canyon If my cheese is a little moldy I cut the mold part off and eat the rest Everyone does that, that's what you're supposed to do Same for vegetables and fruit As long as it tastes right

Then mold doesn't bother me at all If it tastes gross, I don't eat it Don't be silly I leave my pizza on the counter In the box overnight and eat that shit the next day! Maybe even the day after that! I don't like how

the texture gets from refrigeration. Wow, this guy's a rebel. Sort of a princess about it. I mean, I feel like this is a lesser concern than him describing, like, yeah, I get motor oil all over my hands and then eat with them. And there's actually a whole faction of people who like argue about leaving the pizza on the counter over the night.

Like, it's a thing that you either put in the fridge. There's two kinds of people, folks. There's the put it in the fridge people and there's the leaving it on the counter people. I carry around an entire salt shaker of warehouse dust and I sprinkle that into my food. I don't give a fuck. What are you going to do about it? I guess I never thought of it. That is – I mean, because that would be safe.

There's nothing like – there's nothing that would spoil in a day on a frozen pizza, right? I mean, I wouldn't – I mean, I'm sure – yeah, I'm sure it's fine. The F plus is not medical advice. Yeah, that's exactly it. What the hell else was I going to say? Oh, yeah, I don't think there's one single food safety rule that I follow 100% of the time. No such time. I follow none.

Wow. time i follow none wow i don't know if what all these other people claim they thigh do is actually done all the time or if it's just for show i really don't i don't i know i've done some of those things just for show a couple times when i have a lady over pick it up i properly brush everything off i mean yeah the the the guy the guy posting on is it normal.com about eating filthy food and structuring his post like this that's a guy with a lot of uh a lot of sexual appetite and attention just don't want to disappoint my female callers is all. What about you? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then a Palestinian guy says, well, I drink raw eggs, but I don't think that compares to the things you do.

I just crack open the egg juice and I drink it straight from the egg. I don't know what your problem is. I just suck it out of the cloaca. Very fresh. Veryaca very fresh very very fresh hey hey uh everyone everyone's talking about uh you know uh food they throw into the corner of a dusty warehouse and then pick up and eat right with their bare hands but you know something what's up top this i drink mustard drink mustard i used to drink mustard i used to drink mustard out of the little packets you get at restaurants. I don't do it anymore because it doesn't taste as good anymore. I'm an old mustard head.

They changed the formula, man. Were you at the convention back in 96? Oh, hell yeah. So I wonder if maybe his tastes have graduated and he's like, I just wish they provided stone ground in the packets. Provide me the stone. I'll take care of the rest. Squiddy. Oh, yeah.

This one looks unpleasant. Oh, good. Yes. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God. Fuck.

Okay. Everybody barf, and then I will read it. We gotta barf before? Okay. Yes. Get it out. We gotta perch the food before our stomachs beforehand. I don't like dry heaves. Is it normal to want to try exotic food such as a malignant

tumor? So throughout life... Okay, okay, let's all not be uptight about exotic food. It's a delicacy in other countries, malignant tumors. It's...

So throughout life, I've always wanted to try unique food. I've had things like pig's feet, which is great. Chicken's feet, not so much. But there's something I'm curious about eating, which is a malignant tumor. Wow, that's quite an acceleration. I'm just curious as to what it would taste like. Is it gamey? No.

Chewy? Yes. With the right seasoning, I'm sure it could be delicious. Not like those fucking benign tumors. Those are tough. Oh, it's benign, so what the fucking trash? I don't want to eat your trash food. You have to hit those goddamn things with a tenderizer for forever.

Keep the benign tumor in your body where it belongs. Your awful uninteresting tumor does not please me. My concern with eating a malignancy is that I could develop cancer myself. I don't think that's how it works. Should I be concerned? Yes! Hey, Squiddy, how normal are you? Oh, um,

let's see. I am 33% normal. Yay! Yay! That's more normal than a bunch of oh um let's see i am 33 normal yeah well you're more normal than a bunch of these other ones so far well you know they do cooking in prison and they slice the they slice the tumor skin so thin that it liquefies in the pan you know like in goodfellas uh hey lemon i made pruno out of my malignant tumor, yeah. Uh, you're pretty edgy, right? Could you make a comment by Pendleton Gibbs?

Hell yeah, dude. Heh. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so here's the thing, man. People eat cancerous tumors every day. In the form of sausages and ground beef. You think animals don't develop cancer? Meat processing plants don't develop cancer?

Meat processing plants don't screen for that shit. Woo! Damn, I'm owned already. What if I just ate veal? There is so much I don't understand about this world. So I should probably just eat veal. And then, because, like, you have to be a certain age to develop cancer, right? Well, but that's all, I mean, all factory animals are really young.

Like, a pig that's turned into pork is really, really young. Oh, good. Hello! It's my Irish lass, 3456. Try haggis. I'm Irish sometime. That'll appease you. that's not okay yeah no it is

i've already run away now i'm not answering any further questions thank you try haggis i'm irish yeah no it's related statements so she just called haggis a malignant tumor yep i mean i know it's fun to burn on haggis but damn all right all right all right now let's let's get away from the normies hugh over there eating their malignant tumors and let's get to somebody who's only got a 14 normal okay okay is it normal that my friend eats ants and his bro eats chalk? That sounds pretty normal. So I know this guy, even though I wish I didn't, that picks up ants right off the sidewalk and eats them. Whenever I see him do this, I always think, oh my God, what the fuck is wrong with him?

He has pica. His little brother also eats chalk. The only way that... He doesn't have pica. His little brother also eats chalk. The only way that I know that is because he told me himself. So do you think this is normal? Please post what you think. Thanks. No, someone in the comments did say pica. Yeah.

That's only for paper oh uh nope NRD says WTF your friend's brother eats chalk how fucking messed up people get weirder every day what the fuck was also the first thought that came

to my mind when I read that these are all children aren't they like this is a website for children uh I mean i it seems to i would want to lean child children right it's like you're trying to establish like if you're you know if it's something that you're that you do is normal yeah because because this is the kind of thing where your parents have some sort of block on your regular internet usage so you have to stumble across this because you don't get to get to all the other places where you could ask questions.

Well, actually, we're going to be coming into some of these things that are evidence to the contrary. And the sushi guy, that wasn't a child. Okay, well... That means that was a teenager for sure. Yeah, it was a teenager for sure. Maybe this is children and old people.

Well, possibly. Yes! Some 80-year-old who's just really fucking obsessed with Naruto. Stock, I really like this one. Poop? Poop grunt? Poop gruntay? I really liked how you said poop. Say it again.

Poop? Poop grunt? Poop gruntay? What does this mean? Of poop grunt? 67op gruntay? What does this mean? Of poop grunt? 67% normal. Oh, yay! F plus. Hi. Wine.

Oh, by the way, we are moving on. So this is, we moved out of questions about food to non-questions about food. I learned nothing, by the way. Just complaining about food. Yeah. So here we go. Wine tastes like a toxic slew of bitter poison.

I hate it. I think it just sucks, but you do you. I loathe wine. Friends give me wine gifts. Yuck. Worse, they insist I try it. I've not said a word

that it all tastes like shit. Every bottle, no matter the quality, is an offensive taste to me. Too bitter, too rancid, too toxic, too rancid, too toxic, too nauseating.

Either I'm completely right that wine tastes like shit and people agree that it's good because everyone says so, everybody else says so, or I'm not normal. And according to this website, I'm 74% normal.

So fucking yeah. Absolutely. A total fucking binary. And secondly, like, I hate wine. People keep giving it to me and I don't say anything. Solve my problems, please. I wish friends would give me wine gifts. This person does not deserve their friends.

You make friends with this lady's friends. Yeah, bring them on. Try grape juice. Leave it sitting out for a while. Everyone in the comments recommends Moscato. Except for the guy recommending MD md 2020 for enemas i mean yeah like if if this person's mad that it's too bitter uh md 2020 won't have that problem sweet as hell i'm genuinely saddened your palate is in such a disarray. Oh, fuck you.

You gotta realign your palate. It looks really bad. You gotta just spend an afternoon realigning it with your rim. Wine, at least adult wines, are an acquired taste that comes with age and sophistication. The tasters, not the wines. Someday maybe you'll Yeah, I'm the anonymous post-author. You mean I'll get old?

Uh, lol, uh, I plan to try to die young. Yeah! But, but, my music tastes are that of an old soul. I'm weird. No, no, no. Absolutely no children on this website at all. No? No? No, children don't exist.

Okay. There we go. I like this one Squiddy I got one that I'm trying to paste Don't hurt yourself We have to do both copying and pasting I did actually hurt myself

Wearing fruit attracts the females is it normal that i attract more females when i wear a colorful fruit necklace bananas apples pears, oranges, etc. It was an experiment and it actually worked because I noticed whenever I carried fruit in my hand the females of our species What species is he talking about?

The females of our species would be extremely fixated on it and uh they recognize that uh that you are a man uh of plenty uh and they and they're drawn to that uh i've actually never seen a female before but i've seen fruit flies before and i think they're females so it's just like I feel like two and two together so all fruit flies are female to you yeah I guess

more like all women are fruit flies am I right boys yeah sure whatever if you want to high five so bad I'll just give it to you all females are fruit flies I'll just give it to you. Bucket. All females are first five. Sorry.

I don't get it. Let's do this one. Jack Chick, you want to tell me about MacArthur's cake, please? Yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely. Okay. My friend MacArthur was having a party

in the park and he told me to bake a cake for the event. I don't usually take orders like that, but I agreed to do it because he is my friend. So I made the cake and brought it to the park. As I was unboxing my creation, things started to get very weird. Day turned to night and it was very dark. I noticed that... What? Wow. beard. Day turned to night and it was very dark. I noticed that... Wow!

This is like a CD-ROM game from the 90s. Damn! Does it have full motion video? Yeah, FMV. I mean, you know, in parts. I noticed that the cake I had worked so hard on was melting. I saw old men playing Chinese checkers from afar. I started freaking out because I knew that I could never make that cake again.

I'd never have that recipe ever again. It is gone. It doesn't exist anymore. I heard some thumping disco music come out of nowhere. It was then that I saw this chocolate woman with a big afro. She was singing about me and laughing at me. Ellipsis.

Is this normal? Oh no! To have a really bland trip on mushrooms? Yeah, I guess so. Or to make a really boring joke about a song from the 70s? Oh, it is a cake out in the rain. Ew. Fuck.

I listen to the radio, too. It's cool. Let's move on. Let's talk about McBites. Hey, McDonald's, you named your new chicken chunks McBites? Did they? Maybe they just call them chicken chunks. That sounds way more appealing.

Yeah, here's the thing. I'll complain to the manager and claim that these McBites McBlow. Oh! Yes! Oh! Gave it right to him! Right in the tummy. Naming something McBytes is just asking for trouble.

Why not just name him Box of Garbage? Sounds just as appealing and as more comfortable to say. I'm not following this logic at all. I just don't like that they're this logic at all. I just don't like that they're called McBites. I just don't like that name, I guess. Oh, I get it. Like, they bite. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure.

Stupid McDonald's. Is it normal that McBites McBlow? That was a callback. It's in stand-up comedy, which is the field that I belong in. It's called a callback. What a callback is, is you do a joke twice. Usually you try to stretch it out a little bit more before.

Yeah, there's the thing about McBytes McBlow. That name McSucks. Oh, okay. This is usually the part where people stand and applaud, but okay. Oh, Okay. This is usually the part where people stand and applaud, but okay. Oh, wait. You were saving McSucks for your new milkshake? Sorry! I don't think I like Louis C.K.'s

new material. I mean, he doesn't address any of the issues. Sounds like you're another social justice warrior. You're stuck. Sounds like you're another social justice warrior. Stuck. How did you know? I actually genuinely like the response from.123, which is who gives a McFuck. Okay. So these are uh okay so once again our sections questions about food then questions not about food now this is non-questions about not about food

you following me great yeah i love it stog stog take the pizza massage parlor please yeah everyone likes to hear my idea about the pizza massage parlor. I just trap people in the booth of the diner, and I just start explaining my ideas to them, and they love it. Do they love it, though? I don't know if they love it. I think they love it. Okay, well, that's all that counts then. Do you massage them while you do it?

Well, I don't have the hand strength to do that, but, you know, I try. Okay. Just a soft, weak massage. My hands feel like pancakes. But Stog, isn't that just always true? Slightly warm pancakes. That's the most unpleasant feeling I can imagine just a pancake hand

just slowly rubbing over you oh god that's horrible I know no people love it do you find this calming I have never been arrested for this at all wait now I think you might have gotten arrested for this at all.

Wait, now I think you might have gotten arrested for it. The way you phrased that. Oh, no, it's like memento mori now. It's like... Wait, what? We all have bad massages and we will all die? Yeah. Don't believe his lies. I have been to jail.

Wow. Okay. Let's read a post. I have been to jail. Wow. Okay. Let's read a post. That was very high concept. So here's my idea about the pizza massage parlor. So I have this business idea where I would, where you could go in to get a massage whilst dining on pizza. This is the occasion where you use the word will.

No, thank you. Thank you. Good grammar lesson. I thought maybe it could even be a food truck. Yeah, this is the ultimate street food experience. Go and lie down in a massage chair in a parking lot and receive a massage while eating pizza. I see no problems with

this business model. You would sit in a special chair where you stick your head through the hole and there's delicious pizza steaming in your face. Yeah! While the Asian girl and she has to be Asian,

Right, yeah, that makes sense. does that thing where she jams her elbows into your back. That's all I came up with so far. My favorite idea is being in a completely prone and vulnerable state in a parking lot. Peter Thiel would fund this. Squiddy, I found a post made for you okay hold on

okay okay yes okay oh no yeah that one's yours that's your post now okay Okay You should always have An empty and clean

Intestine If female Okay How do you accomplish that? How do you So that's like Every meal is followed by a high colonic? Is that how that works? Okay.

Look at how laughable scientific facts have made the past hundred years. Good point. That's a great point. That's the first slide of my talk. Believe it or not, it's a lot more disgusting to eat solid food as a female and shower every day than to follow a strict liquid only diet with vitamin pills and shower once a month. Wow. Wow. Wow.

You'll all laugh. Nobody laughed. No, I'm not going to. I always wondered what Jean Ray's daughter got up to. But everybody laughed their asses off at the guy who said the earth wasn't flat.

Some fucking ipso facto shit right there. Fin. Oh my god. I was really worried that that would go another direction and it would be about butt fucking. I thought that was where that was going too. So, oh thank you.

Yeah. I'm a little disappointed now. Me too, and that's why I'm taking this glass. So I went to Chili's one day, and this is my usual habit. I take things from restaurants, like the salt and pepper shakers, knives, etc. Usually what I take fits conveniently into the takeout boxes they provide, so there's no need for formalities. I simply take what I want, and no one is the wiser.

With Chili's... People must love you. People just love bumping into you and watching your takeout box full of knives hit the floor. I mean, to be fair, I would be really excited if I was in a restaurant with that guy. Just watching him just jam everything. Where's a giant trench coat and it's full of salt. Salt shakers. Would you just watch him or would you tell somebody like,

would you tell him? Why would I possibly? No, absolutely not. I want to just watch it happen. Because the fun part is, is they watch it happen. And then you tell somebody whose problem it becomes and they have to watch them decide if they give a fuck.

Right. I'm not, I'm not going to help out. I'm not going to help out Chili's. I don't believe in corporate socialism. The guy can take as many fucking salt shakers as he wants. I'm a Chili's waiter. Do I give a shit about that? Exactly.

I mean, I feel like if I'm in a Chili's, my main goal is to make a Chili's waiter be like their life less miserable as possible. Listen, man. I don't know how I got here. I don't know how i got here i don't know how you got here let's just get through this again we're in a partnership now buddy look i'm leaving you and me man you and me against this chili's i'm leaving a 20 tip on the table you look the other way while I swipe all these knives. Well, Chili's had this tall beer glass that I had to have. It wouldn't fit in a box,

obviously, and I had no other means of smuggling it out. No baggy clothing, no shopping bags. I didn't think it wise or practical to suitcase it. Stick it up my ass. Oh. Well, yeah, I call my ass a suitcase, too. What a mess this guy has. I had a plan.

Okay. I will wave my hand in front of the employees' faces like a flamboyant gay magician and say, I'm taking this glass out that door and you're not going to do anything about it. Wow. Wow. You're the coolest Jedi in the world. It worked. Yeah. Is it normal?

You have just admitted to several felony offenses The FBI should be knocking on your door shortly Yep I know what the word felony means And what the FBI does apparently Yeah, totally Petty lar larceny that's our jurisdiction for sure uh stog oh yes uh uh do you do you do you think uh wheat is uh evil yes next question please okay uh but well let me let me let explain my reasoning. I have a, I have a

journal I keep with these thoughts, but I'm just like, wheat, unlike any other grain, is ripped out its roots. It never grows back naturally. It's also picked by machine. Wheat makes you allergic, has too much plant sugar, can make you sick, and also makes a lot of people hyperactive. Would you

still eat wheat? After hearing all the things that you said? Okay, now I've learned that you can create a voting thing in this thing and I don't understand why everyone doesn't do that. Well, because they're just trying to present a binary choice, you know? It complicates things with all these answers.

People might accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan. You don't know. Wheat is a grain of the rich. I don't like that joke either. I apologize. Well, yeah, you're right. Wheat is a grain of the rich. Barley, a grain of the humble. Oh, God.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Why are you laughing? Beer is for normal folks Jesus Christ Okay Okay so would you eat a No I don't like that one at all

Never mind No I don't like that one Let's skip Never mind. No, I didn't like that one. Let's skip to the recipes section. Wheat makes me shit my pants. Hey, F-Plus, do you guys like potato salad? Yeah, I like potato salad. Awesome, great, fantastic. This is toothpaste potato salad.

No, no, no. No, okay, back. I'm putting this in reverse i'm going home my grandma uses toothpaste as one of the ingredients in her potato salad jesus christ i'm wondering if this is a midwest cuisine thing or if she's extremely demented uh well have you been to the minnesota state fair uh you know the thing is is this is not the first time I've heard of this. Really? I've heard other stories about people putting toothpaste

in potato salad. Lemon? It sounds horrible. Mint toothpaste. Lemon? No, the fucking juicy fruit flavor toothpaste. Toothpaste. I like to use anise-flavored toothpaste myself. Why do you use anise flavored toothpaste myself. Very good. Why do you use anise flavored toothpaste? This dog just found a YouTube recipe for it.

Yeah, everybody loves it. This is a fun challenge that people can do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This looks like one of the epic mealtime assholes. Well, I didn't know that keeping your teeth clean was a challenge. Jack Chick, what do you got there? Is this dessert normal? I doubt a lot of people eat this, but here it is.

Okay, I mix water and a good deal of cocoa powder together. Then I soak graham crackers in the mixture. Heat it up until a lot of the water has evaporated and the water and cocoa powder has become a thick chocolate. I sprinkle crushed graham crackers on it after heating it for more texture. Ideally, it ends up somewhat chewy. Sometimes I eat it with cold whipped topping. Ah, this is what depression tastes like. Yeah, that really is depression food for sure.

There's no sugar. I mean, cocoa powder, like plain cocoa powder without sugar in it. I mean, there's sugar in graham crackers. You get the graham crackers. That's not a lot, though. Not, I mean, a good deal of cocoa powder is going to be pretty bitter. This is like one of those things, this is like being too good for those cake mugs, cake in a mug things you buy at the store. No, no, no, no, run. No, no, no. They're not talking about baking cocoa powder. They're talking about

hot chocolate powder. Oh, okay. Then I'm here for it. And then there's Cool Whip on top. Sure. There sure is Cool Whip on top. Why wouldn't there be? Cold Whip topping, thank you. No, sorry. Don't want to violate somebody's brand.

I just put some Cold Whip on top of my hot chocolate topping, thank you. Sorry, don't want to violate somebody's brand. I just put some cold whip on top of my hot chocolate and now everything's fine. Eventually I'll be asleep. Maybe I'll go into a diabetic coma this time before I have to go to work. Squiddy, what do you got? Is it normal to eat your hamburger

this way? I love to eat hamburgers with maple syrup mayonnaise peach slices malted marshmallow whipped in butter lots of hot sauce and crunched up corn flakes with a huge chunk of mozzarella cheese on top people keep telling me it's super disgusting but i think it's the absolute best all the different tastes complement each other quite nicely and the ingredients are super easy to find around your kitchen. I know there are many people who must like most or even all these things on their burgers.

Is it normal? Ban from company potluck. No. 18% normal. Even the peanut butter one, I won't. I won't. I won't dare won't that's still

i won't need to do that marshmallows so marshmallows whipped in butter so yeah so basically i mean i did this i did this today i made a shitload of rice krispy treats sure and that's what the base of rice krispy treats is marshmallows whipped in butter. Well, then you should put hamburgers on your Rice Krispie Treats. Yeah, well, and lots of hot sauce. So can we... So can we disambiguate this a little bit? In terms of the peach slices, do we think that's canned peaches?

Oh, yeah. I do think that's canned peaches. Yeah, that's canned peaches, alright. Like in full syrup. Yeah, so I'm thinking this may be another one of these Jack Chicken Nutshell Gulag make at Plus Food. Oh, yay! Oh, boy, that's exciting. You know, she doesn't know that yet, but she's about to.

Sacrifices must be made. Hell yeah. All right, fantastic. So hamb so she should maple syrup she should post her um feelings about that um a little bit so we've got so we've got so you don't so like the hamburger so the maple syrup you'll like mix into the patty itself no no no that's going with the mayonnaise we're doing like a maple mayonnaise right so the one bun gets the maple mayonnaise the other one gets the marshmallows whipped in butter oh okay i think the hot sauce yeah we're doing a vinaigrette into the burger yeah okay um the crunched up corn flakes have to go on top as a crunchy topping

do we yeah that's sort of your lettuce yeah do we think there's any vegetables on this clearly there are not no no no are you going to melt the mozzarella on the burger or are you just going to put a huge hunk of cold mozzarella yeah no I'm thinking those mozzarella balls yeah just a giant buffalo mozzarella

very expensive please like a $15 chunk. Hey, my name is Verm. What's up, Verm? Well, whatever. We all have weird things we like. I mean, I like dipping sun chips in Nutella.

Oh, you're crazy. Yeah, people just, I'm wild at parties. How do you come up with putting these things on your burger? How do you come up with these things? Stog, I'm going to paste this one right here. Oh, that's good. Oh, this is good shit.

Thank you for this gift. You're welcome. Oh, that's good. Oh, this is good shit. Thank you for this gift. You're welcome. Anyway, is it normal that sometimes I like to boil myself in the bath? This is quite a trip down depression lane, isn't it? For the self-flagellation section. I still think we might have made a little detour to Fetish Alley. Yeah. Eat me, eat me, cook me for dinner.

Sometimes when I'm bored or on a really cold day, I like to cook my elf in the bath. We're all his elf. Oh, elf. Oh, elf. I heat up the water to a very hot temperature, add in some ingredients into the bath, such as tomato paste, herbs, onions. No, you're right.

This is fetish alley. Flour, et cetera. And then just sit there, the volcanic bubbly sensation, melt my skin, flour, etc. Delicious. And then just sit there, the volcanic bubbly sensation melt my skin, the ingredients washing over me and crusting over my body. Oh no.

Nothing cleans quite like tomato paste. I know it sounds disgusting, but it feels really good. You're left with a feeling of strength and adrenaline that your body has been boiled and the sauces in the bath have changed you as a person. It's like a spa treatment almost. No. Yeah, and then afterwards you use that to, you know, it's like stock now.

Yeah, yes. You make soup with it. You make soup with it for that guy who hates soup. That's why he hates soup. That's what his mother is doing. Or gaslighting the soup guy. Well, to get the food off, I just rinse off the bath water and then just have a quick warm shower with soap.

Is it normal? Oh, and one more thing. I don't put my hand under. Obviously, that would be extremely painful. Obviously. Verstein says, do you have a vagina? If so, please stop this. Please, do it for your vagina.

If you have a dick, it's really good. It's fine. It's great if you have a dick. Liberals.jpg Okay, so that section was called Reci recipes with a question mark this section is called fuck you yes please do great i like this one uh jack chick hi there you go oh good okay Good, okay. Grundle gravy goblets. I can't stand the recent crop of attention trolls that have seemingly found a home on this website.

Personally, I think they should die from colon cancer. I've cancer! I've reported every single one of them out someplace. Misplaced self-righteousness. And it won't be soon before they're hunted down and destroyed. Is it normal my idiocy is beyond

my own comprehension? This is a really weird song to put in a children's song. This is definitely a star. star oh here's a response to that one though is i have agreeableness i have been reading a bit of jibber jabber about black people and gay people and gay black people that makes my lower intestines churn a bit however there is nothing we can do it's like seeing pubes on a public toilet you must frown and walk on walk on they did a DNA test on that person

and they were actually 83% reddit hi I hate peeing I never want to go when I have to pee. So this is seriously like a four-year-old. Yeah. I wish I could cut a hole in my body so that the urine would just leave on its own without bugging me to be released. Is it normal?

I am building with blocks. Hey there, F+. I do some strange things when I eat. Well, when I eat, I like to do some pretty weird stuff. So, first of all, I thank the Lord for my meal, and I get my kids to do the same. Oh, that's weird. Yeah. And then, after that, I lick the dining table and everyone's cutlery before I start.

And I get my family to pass around the knives and forks before we eat so we can lick everyone's colors until we finally start. I then eat my food using my hands. I don't know, maybe it's OCD. Or something, but I still like my kids saliva all over my food. I then chew my kids mashed potatoes and feed them like a mom bird. All right, this is obviously a troll. Yeah, it's a good one. It's such a good one.

I'm so excited about like little kids trolling other little kids. This is like a fatty, this is like a fatty jumbo bit they do on WFMU. Okay. I love my family and my wife, and my wife does it to me sometimes. She cooks the dinner and totally agrees with me. If I overheard her on the phone to her mother who disagreed with our feeding methods, I'm genuinely concerned, and I have no idea whether to stop this or what. Is it normal?

Well, obviously it is. God, I never thought that little kids would troll other little kids. This is glorious. To that extent, let's find out how genuine this one is. Jack Chick. Eating while fucking. Eating while fucking. Eating while fucking.

Sorry. Drinking fucking. Sorry. Drinking while trucking. My girlfriend and I like chewing and spitting in each other's mouths while French kissing, sloshing the food back and forth, licking and sucking food off each other's body parts, especially ears, sucking really hard and scraping our teeth on skin

and biting like we're devouring each other. Is it normal? It's gross as hell. I don't think that's a troll. Seems real to me. The very last thing in this document is a user spotlight on a

person named Hansberger. Rot, the person putting together this document, says Hans Berger is an incredible human who speaks only in blocks of text. Ooh, so he does. Yeah. I love blocks. They're easy to digest. And then Rot actually

tried to make the text more readable. In the document. Like he added better leading in order to make it easier to read. That was considerate. That was considerate. Thank you. I think, Jack, if you'll do this first one here.

Is it normal to eat sensibly? Yeah, sure. Through my experiment with fad diets and invented diets, I invented a much less picky one. The lacto-vegan diet. Oh, boy. Oh. And there has to be exceptions.

Bees? Yeah, I think so. Milk bees. And there has to be exceptions because upon experience and reflection and testing, I was starving. Couldn't even drink anything. I was thirsty and had to break the rules. Or eat anything. I was hungry and ditto.

It was that bad. I know most wise and sage people are picky eaters, but through their experience, they Tom. Okay. Tom? Mm-hmm. Well, say hi to Tom for me. Okay, will do. Someday he'll learn he's going to starve almost to death.

Therefore, it's a serious problem. And Dad thinks all pickiness is a serious problem. I think moderately picky is the best because then you'll eat and drink. I know from experience of being a lacto-pescatarian, I would eat anything as long as there was no animal foods, but fish and dairy, no eggs, and have anything vegetarian. Therefore, my diet now avoids the following things. have anything vegetarian. Therefore, my diet now avoids the following things. Wheat, corn, white rice, and darnel, and eggs unless specified below, and any drugs

whatsoever. If I can help it, even medicinal drugs, I also avoid surgery. Damn, I avoid doctors with scalpels looking to cut me open. It's like a level of the evil within. What's the line? The line, drugs if I can help it is interesting.

Sometimes that heroin does you. Are antipsychotic pills vegan? I was just outside of Vegas when the lacto-veganism hit. Has the following things scarcely. Fish, seafood, and shellfish, including

eggs from them, sugar, salt, fats, and oils, and dairy. And the following things in moderation. Coffee, tea, cocoa, caffeine, alcohol, smoking, and tobacco. And that's it. It's simple and much less limited and I'm glad. As it's varied as lacto-pescetarian, except that in most cases I would also I would

be a vegan would widening what the fuck does that mean I got stung by a bee like vegans but for bees would widening the variety in any way be normal p.s once a lacto-pescatarian always a lacto-pescatarian and once an eater of honey always an eater of honey p.s., I would eat, drink, take, and smoke something, even if it was unpleasant or disgusting. I don't care anymore. I don't even care that it's a very low quality. It has to be this way because I was starving. If I was on the street, I would have to think about that,

as most people don't eat unpleasant foods, which is unwise. Think of what the Buddhists eat, accepting food that's unpleasant and take that as a model. So just as a note to the listener, I looked it up and vegan is a variant of vegan that says that honey is okay. Okay. So therefore lacto-vegan would be you're vegan except for honey is okay. And apparently you're saying ovum is okay and also you're saying milk is okay at which point you're super not a vegan at all by any definition yep like what

makes you a vegan at that point well you're just a vegetarian right yeah well where do you see the ovum though because it maybe he said he said uh following said things scarcely, fish, seafood, and shellfish, including eggs from them. So that's fine. Wait, no, I avoid surgery. Wait, it has the following. He does avoid surgery. Okay, so he avoids chicken eggs. Okay.

But shellfish eggs, fuck that. That's fine. Also white rice, corn, and wheat. And he eats fish. Jesus Christ. Does anyone know what Darnell is? What? Bee poop is delicious and I love to eat it.

And that makes me a vegan. Good, good. Darnell? What? Okay, okay. Take the next one here in this document, won't you please? I would love to. Thank you.

Thank you. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to point out that there are no comments on this. People are just like, oh, hell no. No, there were a bunch of comments on the first one, and then he kept going in there. Yeah. Is it normal?

He's outrunning him. Yeah. Is it normal to invent a diet because autistic people do? Okay. All who have selective eating disorder, even those undiagnosed with it, including autists, are different in their fussy eating. Even Adolf Hitler did it based on his doctor's advice and reinventing it. He had to do it. That's a weird reason to just drop Hitler.

Really? Let's see. Hitler. I'd like to take a moment and just reiterate that we're reading stuff off the internet. This is not the beliefs of any member of the podcast. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Look, Adolf Hitler loves his all-meat diet.

He loves to eat bratwurst every fucking day. That's what makes him the superior race. Jack Chick, are you concerned that he just called Adolf Hitler autistic and that's what your concern is? There's so many things that I'm fucking concerned about on this thing. Just blanket statement English shit. Concern. CYA. Asterisk, I am

concerned. Continue. He had to do it, didn't he? He had to eat the following six meats to justify his diet. Stuffed pigeons, eggs, caviar, Bavarian sausage, liver dumplings, and slices of ham. Wow, three of those are meat. Only eating his favorite

meats, so I decided to justify my diet by eating things from an animal and honey only when offered to me, like Dalai Lama said. And Hitler was a quasi-fetisharian. So Hitler did this, and then he says, so I decided to do this. I mean, after all, as Hitler goes, so do we. Yeah.

And I also compare myself to the Dalai Lama in that regard. Right. I mean, two kindred souls when you think about it. Look, the important thing is that I have a brand name celebrity. And Hitler was a quasi-vegetarian, claiming to be vegetarian, though very inconsistent, and ate meat, mostly white meat. You just covered that. As scarcely as he could. Therefore, he drank mineral water and soups, and ate vegetables and fruits and coffee and tea and no alcohol at all.

And, so do I, only more general, and added to my partially Hitlerite diet. You said you drank in the previous post! Did he? Well, he substituted the alcohol for Bavarian sausages. That's a one-to-one substitution, absolutely, when I'm cooking. That's a one-to-one substitution, absolutely, when I'm cooking. Only more general and added to my partially Hitlerite diet, I added spring water. A Hitlerite diet!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! I added spring water, dark leafy greens, etc., And that was the very last time I changed my diet. And since it heals me, it works. And I never will change it or my four diets again. What? I will never change it or my four diets.

Wait a second. Let me list my four diets. Vegan, green vegan, purpletarian, and liquidarian. All these are subsets of the Brian Butterfield diet. In my liquidant diet includes the following herbal tea, nut milks, vegetable broth, juices, and water, and added to the list are no water other than the two, and also included is coffee, green and black tea, cola drinks, Dr. Pepper. The Dalai Lama was well documented as a lover of Dr. Pepper. Hell yeah, dude.

Plant milks in general, vegan, and cocoa, sucrose-free and excluded are alcohol, drugs, corn and rice, sucrose free and excluded are alcohol drugs, corn and rice sucrose and sodium chloride. Also pecans, hazelnuts, coconuts, and pistachios. And a long list of fructans.

I have a very low fructan tolerance level and also truly fructan. It's fruit sugar. Fructose. You know, it's like V it's like thetans, but for fruit, this fruit has lived tens of thousands of years. And I have no tolerance for it.

I have a very low fructin tolerance level, and truly it's not gluten or selectins that are the problem. Scientists have proven, as I have experienced it myself, it is the fructins. Therefore, nothing needs to change. The four are the perfect diets, even though a lot of this is complicated. I understand that I made this up, as Hitler made up his dietary restrictions up.

And purpletarian means purple vegan. That means I put in my body anything vegan as purple as I can, such as red potatoes, onions, garlic if it exists, shallots, beetroots, radishes, and purple grapes, both red and black, grape juice freshly made, rhubarb, cabbage, etc. Where are you getting purple garlic, dog? Oh, dude, you can... Yeah, that's actually pretty common. Yeah, I usually get purple garlic if I just leave it in my refrigerator for a few months.

There's pretty few purple foods and drinks, including wine, and purpletarian is a healthy diet. Never makes me sick. But you said you don't drink! I take alliums in moderation. Wine is never an alcohol. Is any or all of that normal? Lemon, lemon. Are you concerned that this poster is contradicting themselves in one specific instance?

Maybe just once. Maybe just once. 25% normal, BT dubs. Yeah, no, good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. 25% normal, PTdubs Yeah, no, good I searched

I searched purpletarian and Google just assumes that I meant purpletrain and don't let me actually search purpletarian like it's like, no, no, no, no you mean purpletrain I mean, I'm glad it didn't pull up So what do you get when you get purpletrain?

Tell me more Nothing really interesting Some sort of YouTube videos for some betting. Okay. Is it normal to stand up for what one self believes in? I am also Hans Berger.

How do you see the names even on here? Like, I don't see the names. Boy, I don't know the names. Boy, I don't know. Okay. So anyway, wait, oh shit, that was, there we go. Changing the subject from previous posts, I kept it simple and decided to ask the question, is it normal to stand up for what you believe in? I don't know, is it?

As a poshy, I stand up for the belief in respect to my poshness, even respect for the fancy food I eat, which I sometimes get from my parents. So this guy's a child too? I was forced to add an extra rule to my code. Assertiveness. My mother cooked me crap I no longer eat, not once. She cooked me a normal salad and an ordinary Italian pasta and tomato sauce instead of a salade niçoise. Oh, my God. Yeah, so when she cooked that instead of the salade nicoise, I got angry and threw them on the lawn and said

this is crap! This is rubbish! Then I punched it. Then when I said to my mom, it's not even fancy! She said, who do you think you are? I know exactly what I am. A fancy man. That means she has to serve me Who do you think you are? I know exactly what I am. A fancy man.

That means she has to serve me fancy food. Not the other way around. I refuse to believe my mother or anyone can't be reasoned with. Rationality is good in every way. Therefore, we can all be reasoned with. It's not extremely difficult. It's usually effective. And mind you, mom can only be reasoned with by It's not extremely difficult. It's usually effective. And mind you, Mom can only be reasoned with by being yelled at. Oh, poor Mom.

Hey, that's mean. Yeah, it turns out I'm not a good guy. What are you doing? And that's it. Without syllogisms or fancy explanations used in reason. The same way David, the client where I live, can be reasoned with. What is happening in this sentence? The same way David,

the client where I live, can be reasoned with that way. Hence, he asked permission to switch the light off. Fuck it. Let's just ignore that sentence. Oh man, this dude lives in a group home. As an ableist, I told him that he's stupid and dimwitted because of his disability.

So get lost, I said to him. Furthermore, I learned to hate. This is going off the fucking rails. Holy shit. Furthermore, I learned to hate, and I learned it well. Misogyny, misanthropy, pessimism, solipsist pessimist. I don't interact. And ableist, hopefully the type of mentalist who hates mental people in general.

What the hell? I've done all the above beliefs for a long time. And furthermore, I asked for where I live quasi-vegan gourmand gastronomical purist food in the shopping. Colon. Fine cheese. Caviar. Water crackers. Lemon. quasi-vegan gourmand gastronomical purist food in the shopping, colon, is fine cheese, caviar, water, crackers,

lemon, lemon. I feel like his favorite salad is word salad. Word salad niçoise. Right. No, yes, yes,

yes. Of course. Fancy salami, silverbeet, spinach, tofu, that's hard, firm beet, spinach, tofu that's hard, firm tofu, unsweetened plant milks,

wholemeal bread galore, mushrooms and so forth, all related to what's at least quasi-vegetarian. Like, you know, salami. That said, they'll buy for me what I requested in the shopping list only when I see some of it if not all of it, will I believe it? So even in that instance, I stood up for what I requested in the shopping list only when I see some of it, if not all of it, will I believe it.

So even in that instance, I stood up for what I believe in. I have a plant-eater sweater, maroon with green writing, and a this-is-what-an-atheist-looks-like shirt. Oh, God! Oh, no!

Oh, God! What a fucking nightmare this person is. Like, whatever sort of, like, whatever sort of, like, benefit of the doubt that you want to, like, give this guy for obviously, like, being crazy and living in a group home. Like, no, he did not earn it, no. That's what makes any kind of vegetarian or atheist so special

is quite simply that there are things from shops to cater to them. You hardly get anything special for normal people that says normalcy written. You know what? I like the idea of a shirt that just says normie. I'm sure it exists or something that says basic. Like people kind of have, have come to embrace their norm core. I suppose basic bitch is probably a necklace, yeah.

Oh, for sure. But I think it's special for normal people. It should simply be normal clothes. Okay, good. On the other hand, I join communities online based on what I believe in. Vegetarian, science, misanthropy,

demonology, to name a few? Good. I'm sorry, atheist demonology? I don't understand. Vegetarian demonology? What the hell is that about? No, vegan demonology. There's no animal harm in demonology.

Vegan demonology. Sacrifice this eggplant. I even made such a war to get whatever was vegan printed for me. There's nothing vegan without a fight, without a struggle. However, I am partly

a liquidarian, therefore I have liquidarian drinks. Which are presumably all drinks i would assume i went out with a vegetarian and based on my taste in food decided to ask for coffee i merely call froth which isn't on the what the fuck he just ordered the froth some of us just call that black coffee dude no no no no no the opposite no no he just ordered the froth like the thing on top of the cappuccino without the coffee part oh my god so he just ordered hot cool whip he wanted and he was wearing and he was wearing a this is what an atheist looks like presumably got kicked out fucking immediately. No, no, no. They were just like,

oh, you clearly look like someone with distinguished taste. So here's your $25 cup of froth. Hello, waitress. I will have one coffee and one hot cool whip. I got what I asked for

with without chocolate sprinkle on top. I got what I asked for with without chocolate sprinkle on top. What? I got what I asked for with without chocolate sprinkle on top is very fancy and very exquisite. And then I just, like, throw it as a normal as though that's what I'm asking. Yeah. Yeah, it's totally normal, dude. Way to go.

I really like, though, that he can go to a coffee shop and get milk foam and think it's exquisite. Like, that's kind of... It's exquisite. I mean, he's having an experience, and it's exquisite. I mean, how often in a day do you have an exquisite experience? A very exquisite experience. I know. We should all learn from this guy who gets milk foam.

And should we, though? Because? Because like isn't this the end of what happens if you live the explicit life? Yeah! And now we must bathe the baby in the blood of the beet. And then scrolling down to the very end of this document, Squiddy if you'll just read some of the titles that

Rot put in here, please. Some real good titles. I like my pork pushed, not pulled. Is it normal? Fuck you. Papa John's wooden nickels. The name of some fast foods are cringe. Bro, you just posted cringe.

You're going to lose fast food customer. Hashtag relatable. Is it normal that my name is Wanda's crotch fruit? Oh, okay. Let me try that again, please. Is it normal that my name is Wanda's crotch fruit? Sure, we all do. That's 100% normal.

Happy meat week. Food. Orange. Pie. Always always we salute you always pee in my sister's lemonade she sells them always is it normal p s l always pee in my sister's lemonade get mad you son of a bitches is it normal for white people to have dinner at 5 30 holy shit yeah yeah it is that's real white yeah i talk to pie i cry i cry when i eat pie is it normal that tea makes me weeeee is it normal I like to eat powder

is it normal to think that the black end tip of a banana is a spider is it normal to eat the skin sure we all do the human skin is it normal to be obsessed with bacon because i am so obsessed with the bacon oh my god you know what next month pumpkin

spice season you guys oh my god spice season i've got to have my pumpkin spice. I know. I have to. That's so fucking epic. I have to. I am there. Yeah. If you don't have pumpkin spice during August, I can't think of anything else other than it's an epic fail. What about pumpkin spice bacon? Pumpkin spice bacon, you guys. Pumpkin spice bacon. Pumpkin spice bacon.

Pumpkin spice bacon. That's exploding brain meme. Pumpkin bacon, you guys. Pumpkin spiced bacon. Pumpkin spiced bacon. Pumpkin spiced bacon. That's exploding brain meme. Pumpkin spiced skin. Ooh, now we're talking. Yes. And then you eat it. What did we learn from any of this? Well, I feel like it's normal to just basically cover yourself in Dijon horseradish mustard

and just basically have a bath a really hot bath and then just wait for people to find you and eat you that's what I think okay it's good any thoughts unrelated to that no thoughts unrelated to that

I think that's what we're all thinking that's the only thought now prevailing thought. All thoughts are stog now. That's the over thought. Really, I think that was the first thought that humans thought. Came out of the soup. With that in their minds.

There's something that I've seen happen on this site specifically, but a lot of other sites too is where the site is so such unmoderated crap that everyone just is trying to mess with it to the point that

I would say more than half of what we read people weren't even in the premise of the website. People weren't actually asking if something's normal. It was just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, my dumb brain. Oh, is it normal, the thing that I thought? So people are just shouting into the void? People are just developing their epic troll skills.

They are just basically like kittens running around on the internet just trying to freak each other out. Well, it's one of these amazing reinforcements of the whole concept that people will, like anything that exists, just be like, well, let's take this and spread my own dumb bullshit on it. I'm like, why would I get a blog when I can just post every single thought I have onto some random goddamn website that's selling me for advertising. Yeah, what does the advertiser information have to say? Oh, I want to see what their rates are. I'm very curious. Let's advertise on it!

Sure. Let's advertise on it. That seems actually fairly on brand for us. Yeah, wasted money. Yep, absolutely. That is on brand. Speaking of wasted money, you can waste your money on THEFPL.US. Tapes, at this point, when you hear this, tapes are probably gone, honestly.

I bet they are. But passports, we've are um but uh passports uh we've still got some more passports left and i do like those uh as well as stickers uh some new designs i'm working on and uh some other stuff uh a-h-o-y-l-e-m-o-n uh some very dumb websites including uh one that i'm working on called bg2cool which is a site all about helping web developers turn all their backgrounds into exploding animated kits. Because fuck modern web design if it doesn't have really rad bowling patterns all over it.

Every website should look like the ShareZone website. Hell yeah. All right. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. look like the share zone website hell yeah all right bye-bye hey everybody this is the f plus it's a normal place but This glass house Impossible to get out