The F Plus - 314: Too Many Pumps

Episode Date: December 2, 2019

From the title alone, you may have some incorrect guesses at what's kept the community over at Newart.com thriving since 1996, but quickly you'll learn (as we did) that they're bound by a singular focus of pumping, inflating, and injecting their junk. And then they post pictures. Oh christ, we've seen the pictures. We see them when we close our eyes. This week, The F Plus achieves The Engored Look.

All right. Are we good? Yeah. Yep. Oh, it's the F plus. Wild energy to bring. Whoa, it's the F plus. Whoa.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Sounds like you're about to start the monster mash. We're giving out a $5 footlong every hour on the hour. Don't want no short dick, man. Don't want no short dick, man. Don't want no short dick, man. Hey, I'm sorry in advance about this, but this is the F+.

Terrible, and I mean terrible things, read with some amount of enthusiasm in the room. Tonight we have boost ring here. Ever over pump. So you decide to call in sick. Jimmy Franks. Uh, uh, penile sensitivity.

Go. Oh God. Frank West. My sexual side is sort of my dark side or shadow self. Jack check. All right. So look here. We got the Holy grail of cum load increase.

Nutshell gulag. Finally, about to try KY injections. And lemon. Maybe you look like penises. This excites me. Don't, don't, don't, don't want, don't want, don't want Eeny, weeny, teeny, weeny Shriveled little short dick man Don't, don't, don't, don't want Eeny, weeny, teeny, weeny Shriveled little short dick man

Don't, don't, don't, don't want Hey, F-Plus. Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, hey. Nutshell. Yes. Nutshell, I have a question for you.

Yes. Starting off this episode, you sound despondent. Why? Why is that? I'm just going to find out more stuff that will never leave my brain that I didn't really want to know.

I could be using it for cat pictures or recipe storage, but no, it's going to be horrible, horrible things. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Wipe that hard drive. We've got two terabytes of gross coming in. Fucking screwed up talks. You know, that, nope. Wipe that hard drive. We've got two terabytes of gross coming in. Fucking screwed up talks. You know, that's great.

That's great. Yeah, so to that end, as you are aware, nutshell. Yep. This episode is called Dick Pumping, parentheses, in the worst possible way. Thanks, Cat Examiner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a document. Gotta ruin my positive outlook on dick pumping.

The document given to us by Cat Examiner. Well, when you're using a bicycle pump, I mean. This entire episode, we're going to be in the New Art Forum. New Art Forum's brag since 1996, exclamation point, the web's no possessive, longest running pump site. No, you're going to be in the New Art Forums. I'm going to be reading from the doc. Thank you very much.

You chicken, I'm logged into this forum. Hey, Jimmy Franks. Yes. I have some questions about penis enlargement pumping. Yes. So, you know... Would you say these questions have been asked maybe, like, more than once? I would say these questions are frequently asked.

These are frequently, frequently asked questions, yeah. So, Jimmy Franks, what is vacuum penis pumping? Yeah. So, Jimmy Franks, what is vacuum penis pumping? Vacuum penis pumping is a clear, usually acrylic cylinder is placed around the penis. At the end of the cylinder, a hose is connected to either a hand pump or an electric pump, which evacuates air from the cylinder. As the air is removed from the cylinder, the penis is pulled further into the cylinder and towards the walls of the cylinder. of the cylinder and towards the walls of the cylinder, the corposa cernosa,

the sponge-like material that fills with blood when a man gets an erection is suspended, making the penis larger. In bold. Hey, does penis pumping work? How long will the results last? This depends on a number of factors. The length of your pumping session, the frequency of your pumping sessions, and the sizes you achieve

with the pump on. It would be possible with daily pumping to maintain the increases constantly if you have the time to pump that you achieve with the pump on. It would be possible with daily pumping to maintain the increases constantly if you have the time to pump that often. Get your pump on. Get your pump on, baby. Your penis will stay quite large for at least several hours after pumping. Most men find that over a period of time that increases

could be made permanent. Permanent. Permanent. Permanent. Many pumpers who have been at it for several month-ays or years will cite increases of two inches or more. There are numerous pictures and document cases of people stretching lips, earlobes, necks. So it stands to reason that continuous vacuum pumping over a period of months

or even years would result in a larger penis. Does it, though? Does it stand to reason? Is that how flesh works? That's not a frequently asked question. Okay, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much of a gain can you expect?

It'll vary for each individual. It's possible to gain several inches in both length and thickness. You'll experience gains immediately, even the first time you use a pump. However, to maintain them, you would have to use the pump on a regular basis. Most men get much larger increases in girth, that's thickness, than in length. It's difficult to say how much of an increase in length will occur, but it's possible it will in the cylinder to gain as much as two inches or more in length.

Again, the increases in girth will be much larger and longer lasting. This just sounds like the way to giveth will be much larger and longer lasting. This just sounds like the way to give yourself the most horrifying dick hickey ever. I feel like the entire thing is black, like some kind of banana that's been left out too long. You know, I want my crank to look like a Pepsi can. You know, I kind of liked horrifying dick hickeys second album, but I mean... Oh, God.

So, part zero in this document is the facts section. Part one is called General Cock and Ball Shit. Right. And, uh, Jack Chick, why don't you start us off here?

Sure. So, my name is Fat Girl Fucker without any vowels. I posted this on Thursday, November 8th, 2018. It could be Fat Girl Fucker, actually. Yeah, yeah. That's true. 7.54 p.m. So this post is titled, Please send me your silicone cocks!

Man, that dragon's getting aggressive with their outreach. I'm in love with silicone cocks and balls. I wish I would have one so badly and want to see one in person. Anyone who has a silicone cock who likes to show it off, please PM me with photos or videos. Place your silicone cock photos into a self-addressed damn download. So it's a past tense verb to silicone. So is this a dick that's been covered in silicone or a dick that's been

made into a mold? My biggest dream is to worship a siliconed monster and to try to take it up my ass. That's unusual worship there. I want to get slapped in the face by a monster silicone package. I'll drop to my knees and worship it. You came back the next day to post that.

You went to fucking sleep and you posted it at 9.41am. You woke up, you brushed your teeth, you had your breakfast, and you're like, time to keep talking about silicone sand. Well, you know, Frank, I feel like, do you ever have that thing where you're having a quiet moment,

you're having an alone time, and you realize that sense of social anxiety where you're like, oh my god, I humiliated myself in front of that person when I didn't say enough things about my love of Silicon Con. I should have said that. Frankie, you're becoming your most massive, isn't that true?

Yes, I'm becoming my most massive self. I like the musical intro. Walk-on music there. Jazz this episode up a bit. I'm Prelude99 and I'm becoming my most massive.

Page 9 to my chin. Okay. Oh no. Guys, I've been growing. Yay! Yes, what? Vegetables? Flowers? No, internally.

Emotional growth. Emotional growth. I haven't reached my length goal in tube yet, but my girth goal outside the tube has been expected when not pumped. What? Oh, how

big his cock gets inside the tube that he uses to enlarge it. Your cock can get really long in the tube, but it gets stuffed in there again, kind of like a Pringles can. You have to take it out to get the girth gross. That's the most confusing thing I've ever heard of. You should see my Kickstarter.

Oh my god. A Pringles can is a non-Newtonian solid. This has slowed my pumping down drastically, because for the first time, I'm more than happy with my not pumped normal size. Oh no!

Oh no! It's the ironic Twilight Zone twist! There was time now. So the question begs, why should I still pump if the only thing that's going to happen is my dick is going to get bigger?

Because that's how you started, though. Let him finish. Well, I think the answer is in the question. Because my dick is gonna get bigger. I like to capitalize dick every time.

Yeah. Well, he's talking about Dick Clark, actually. He's caught him in a vacuum tube. That's where he went to. Yep. That's Dick Clark's own personal health. Excuse me, do you have Dick Clark in a can? He's almost got Dick Clark up to the size of his chin.

At this stage in my life, I'm ready to become a freak of cock. Now what do you think about their concert? What do you know about me? I'm a freak of a cock. Sometimes when I feel like I'm getting old, at least I'm just like, well, at least I've never reached that stage yet. I want to pump and grow with people for

many more years to come. It took me a few months to conclude this, but after noticing how big I'd gotten, I looked back and realized the growth was absurd. Okay, Digzilla. So with about three solid years of pumping, I should

reach the end of the tubes I'm in now. What? I'm ready to devote to that kind of growth now that I have a plan, and it's not because I am unhappy with my size. That's awesome. Now you get to make your own custom tubes? You get to make your own custom tubes. It's like a vapor at that point.

Really cool. Yeah. You know, it's always so sad when you see them grow up and leave the nest. We'll have memories, though. I'm pumping because I'm happy that I can continue to increase my size. Wanted to share this session with you all that spanned a few tubes and a few hours. Starting with the three times 11, and then for some reason there's not anything from the session in the doc. I don't know why.

Are you, like, breaking the tubes with your massive dick growths? No, I'm going to. the tubes with your massive dick growths? No, I'm going to. What do you think the consistency of these things is once they've done this stuff? Do you think it's like bread dough or something? Why did I quit?

I like that. And just kind of like you can poke one with a finger and the fingerprint would stay in it or what? No, he said the growth was absurd. So I'm thinking it's like a bag of mashed potatoes, like a shopping bag for mashed potatoes.

It's like Tetsuo and Akira. You can click on them and get pictures like that. You actually don't need to just opine. If you just click that link there in the document, you'll get lots and lots of photos. No, we're not going to do it. Horrifying, horrifying photos. No, we're not going to do it. Horrifying, horrifying photos.

No, thanks. No. You look so bored. Lemon, lemon. Lemon, it sounds like. There's a point where there's like a big dick, but it's like surrounded by chocolate pudding. Ooh. Ah.

The rest of his skin is what I'm saying. Oh, God. Oh, no. Yikes. Shouldn't have clicked that. Oh, God. Oh, no. Yikes.

Shouldn't have clicked that. Who else is staying up all night? All right. My name is huge for me, and I'm staying pumped 24-7. That's good, man. It's good to have a good exercise regimen. It's good to keep yourself motivated. I'm starting to experiment today. I want to see against all odds whether I can stay at least partly pumped all day, every day for the next several weeks.

For fuck's sake, you're going to break it. Yeah. That's what quitters say. I have done this. I have done this for a few days running in the past with great results. I'll do my best to supply photos if I can carry out my plan. Also, I have learned that I can get fantastic results without shaving my pubic hair. For years, I shaved the whole package.

Recently, I decided to let my pubes grow back and see what effect this might have on getting a good seal. None! While I like the look and feel of a completely shaved package, I find I like the natural look and feel even better. May we all get incredibly

insanely huge. As huge as we want. As huge as we dream. Yeah, huge for me. My name is Velcro Man. There's only one thing better than being big and that is being bigger. Two smiley faces that are very cool. Here I am back here one day and eight minutes later.

Well, I mean, this is what you do. That's 24. This is a Monday and a Tuesday, so this is like before work. Well, before you go to work. Yeah, sure. He's got his own work, okay? This is before mom tells me to go up for jobs. He's a tradesman.

A cocksmith. Agreed. Being huge is the only goal. no worries about being too big there's no such thing here's the schedule i have worked out to try to stay at least somewhat pumped all the time three to four full package 30 minute sessions first thing in the morning at low pressure three to five full package 30 minute sessions before bed at low pressure. Okay. I have followed a similar pattern in the past,

but only for a few days in a row. I got progressively bigger as the days passed. I am hoping that by keeping pressure low and by allowing lots of time between the morning and evening sessions, growth will progress faster than discomfort or other problems. Permanent hugeness would be a dream come true. progress faster than discomfort or other problems. Permanent hugeness would be a dream come true. I draw inspiration

from Prelude. I guess as a user? That was the last guy. That was the one that you guys looked at his pictures. Oh yeah. That was inspiration, guys. Yeah, inspiring. I'm inspired, yeah, for sure. Those of us who have been at this for a while

remember when his cock was just huge. Now he is far beyond huge that I stand in awe as I look at his current photos and videos. He can make me think that there may actually be no limit to how huge we can get. Man, they should write 80 power ballads about your dick. If we just keep

at it and don't get carried away. Imagine being able to hang a cock that is five inches in diameter. You sound like that. Carried away there, buddy. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I'm imagining it. Like but I'm not the only one. Like on a hangar?

Yeah. Do you think they can get erections anymore? I mean... No, no way. And still looks really, really great like his. Yeah, that's what that looked like, Lemon. That was great. Yeah.

I've seen a couple photos I've never described any of them as great that was the platonic ideal of what a penis could be this is what people yeah god damn it we have another section we're going to move into

but before we get there uh my name's dalma uh seven and uh ball fucking i always wondered if there's any videos out there of a guy frotting up against a nice pair of pumped up balls or if anyone's tried this personally i've always wanted to try it myself with someone who's pumped and I just never got the chance. Cockroach Warriors Extreme! Gin lover says, I love pumping. So that was part one, General Cock and Ball Shit.

But, you know, this is a this is a document with several perspectives, and part two is called Perfect for the Ladies in Your Life. Oh, boy! So, Nichelle, I have great news for you. Yeah!

Great news is that I'm skipping over the first thing in this part. What? I'm going to slide past the thread called Female P-Hole Stretch. Yikes. Right past the thread called female pee hole stretch. Yikes.

That's what happens. Do you like to hear a pair of words that is in female pee hole stretch? No. Crochet hooks. Oh! Oh! No! I just, there's a little bit that says,

she just app-pout squirts. No! App-pout. No DIY sounding, thank you very much. She loves it, this desert dog. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Anyway, we're going to skip past that. What success! We're going to skip past that. Sorry, sorry. There's one more sentence fragment I want to read where it says, which I surly don't want.

We're going to skip past that and in a nutshell, your name is WNC Husband Wife Yes I think it means that she is the wife of a WNC husband I have no idea

So what do you want to talk about here? Well, Ladies Pumping 101 Techniques, tips, and experience. DH, which is short for Dear Husband, and I have dabbled

in vacuum pressure for years, since 1996 when time permitted. What I am looking for is information. The mail forum is topics with very specific information, such as vacuum pressure, what type of oil slash butter to use, ball stretching times, and journals on how long it takes to get really big.

We all know this doesn't happen in one weekend. I think the milk solids and butter is going to be a problem. You throw a little bit of pesto in there, though. I mean, I substituted coconut oil. Yummo! Oh, no, coconut oil, coconut oil, guys. What I hope to achieve is starting a thread that women can bring their knowledge and experience to the table so that we can all have a better experience.

Newbies will be able to read about nipple slash pussy slash labia slash clit pumping and find out if it is something they want to try without being frightened. I would like to have a discussion on techniques, gadgets, and anything that will enhance the experience. Men, this can include you if you have information that will be constructive.

Look at my dick! I want to see the mansplaining in this forum, honestly. Please, please show me this. I am going to start the thread with a couple of pics of my nipples, pumped and unpumped. I am using my supple nips, which are very comfortable.

I do have another brand of pumps, but they can be rather strong at times. Do any ladies have experience pumping on a daily basis? And how long it takes for your nipples to toughen up? Yeah, women who just delivered a child, they have experience pumping on a daily basis.

I've never heard any of them talk about how lovely that is, though. That's pumping out, though. Oh. No, we're not pumping stuff into them. It doesn't work that way. We, DH and I, have more to share, like simple but not so simple hair removal. What?

What does that mean? Yeah, complicated hair removal. What? What does that mean? Yeah, complicated hair removal. What's... Well... Yeah. We have, over the years, found a method where we only have to shave once or twice a week those special parts.

I have a personal email account and a kink account with ladies who want to converse one-on-one with the aim being, with their permission, that we would add it here so we have a knowledge database for the ladies. Okay. Wow, the filter on this site before posting is tough. It seems the word pumping is note allowed. I doubt that.

Here's the pic. I doubt that's not true! Since 1996, the web's longest-running pump site. Well, also, she uses the word pumping in the post. Not allowed. Not allowed. Just time,

a quick post, and to share a picture of a couple watching Netflix last night. What doesn't every couple do this before bedtime? Smiley face! We thought this to go under the... She's all over this thread because she's like, yeah, this will be a really good place for women to talk.

A whole bunch of places for a whole bunch of women to talk to each other. They're gonna be here any minute now. Why, I myself am a woman. We thought this to go under the techniques of having a good pump buddy for encouragement. Sometimes

one of us doesn't feel like pumping, but it's much easier with a friend. Oh, this is Big and Low from Manchester, UK. Oh, now that's a way to watch telly with the missus. Ha ha!

Nutshell, can you scroll down to the post you made on Tuesday, October 17th of 2017? I am looking at it right now. Great. Okay. Here's something that might be of interest to you ladies or anyone interested in nipple enlargement.

I'm attaching four pics from the summer of 2014 where i used a breast pump for about five to six months just to see what would happen oh i was about 30 to 40 pounds heavier at the time so my breast size is bigger to give some background this is 22 years after I had my last child, which I did breastfeed, and produced way too much milk. Of course, my husband encouraged me. Not a real surprise. Wink, wink. So on the machine

I went, shush, lemon. Shush. Shush. Shush. So on the machine I went two to three times a day for about 20 minutes each breast. To sum up the results, I did produce a few drops of milk each pumping session. My boobs did get a little bigger, and my nipples got thicker and longer. My husband can verify the results, especially the larger nipples, smiley face.

This is probably why he encourages me to pump my nipples now. He just loves them. I added this thinking that any woman who enjoys the sucking feeling on their nipples might use a breast pump for bigger nipples. I do believe it is an alternative to the nipple suction cylinders and

soft devices. Why do you think? Please share and add any personal experiences. That's kind of a philosophical question there. Why do you think? What's the fucking point? Am I right?

Could somebody read Powerful Pete 1, 2, 3, 5? Hey, I'm Powerful Pete! It's me. Extremely Powerful Pete. 1, 2, 3, 5. Hey, I'm powerful Pete! It's me. Extremely powerful Pete. Howdy, Pete.

First off, you are abso-fucking-lutely right. Live life to its fullest all the time. Love, love, love your huge nipples and supple cups rock. I noticed in the last pic, you had two different sizes you were sporting. Any reason why?

Personally? I like to start off with the narrower ones first, that condition and elongate my nipples. Getting that stretch they sorely need. Then I switch to the 3XL size and pump them to the max. Powerful Pete! Powerful Pete pumping to the max! Get those reps in! God, they grow huge in a matter of minutes.

Wish they made a 4XL. I'd get them. Thank you for sharing And you both rock Thank you, good night It's been Powerful Pete Powerful Pete Another sick post Powerful Pete Powerful Pete

Powerful Pete Thank you, Detroit Boots, you're looking for advice, right? Yeah My name's Little Miss Boy, did you come to the right place Yeah I'm just a coy little Little lady here Boy, did you come to the right place. I'm just a coy little lady here.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I want some advice. How long to leave clit pump? What, like in the garage? Yeah. Hi, guys and dolls. Just after some advice, when... don't do that i also made that mistake don't click on it don't oh no i clicked

oh god it's a very it's a very large image a, very large image that I posted in this forum. It's a big one. I hope y'all enjoy my very large image. Oh, I think we got a new desktop wallpaper. Little miss, you have an Audi. What, like the car? Yeah, sure. What, like the car?

Yeah, sure. Just after some advice, when pumping your clit, how often do you do it, and how long do you leave it in the pump for the best results? Thanks in advance, Lil Miss XXX. Yeah, hey, listen. This is Major 77. Hey, Major. Yeah.

Reporting for duty. I'm still looking for females into pumping who wants to join my kick pump group. Some females there, some couples of males. Free males! Kick got a 50 person limit on their groups. My group is popular and got 48 right now. We're trying to keep the group active so inactive users are kicked now and then.

Winky face. Wait, is this just a reporting post? Feel free to contact me on kick. My kick is Major77. No. Major77, no! No! Big ol' pussy, huh?

Anyway. Hey, Jack Chick. You're also looking for advice, right if you're a girl pumper if you think i'm clicking on that fucking link you're look on the link why wouldn't you click on the yeah it's a real mystery what uh there's no photos on that link is it oh okay yeah i have a disease i can't not click. Yeah, I know. Rest in peace, Frank. I have shit to do tonight.

I don't need to. Hi, so I'm Girl Pumper, and I want the best pumping tips. Hey, all. I finally have the right pump. I used it last night, and so far, so good. But I would like to know the best ways to achieve the engorged look.

It's a real cradle of filth. The only tips I can find are for beginners. Not specifically for the engorged look. Best amount of time slash increments tips and tricks what do you have what sort of equipment do you have this could help

I have the love honey basics pussy bump I fill the cup all the way but it's still sucking and all oh god sponsored post hopefully in the future I fill the cup all the way, but it's still sucking and all. Oh, God. Sponsored post. Hopefully in the future I can get a more high-tech deep pump.

I also have a cupping set with a couple of sizes that I can use on just the inner labia slash clit. Thanks. Like cupping is stupid used regularly. Yep. Yep, you're good. Because it fucking fixes your chi, dude. Like all the chakras are purple. Which one's the good color?

Her pussy's got the best chi around. Maybe while I'm inflating my tits, I'm gonna inflate my sense of well-being, too. Well, I mean, the endorphins you get from damaging your body prominently, probably permanently, sure. Yeah, that'll do it, yeah. Sorry, Frank, you know I don't want to take that away

from you. Hey, I'm Bent Slong. Slong? Bent Slong? Bent Slong? Ben T. Slong? Slong? Bent slong? Bent slong? Ben T. Slong? My best tips and what has worked for me

when I was pumping my balls Yes, no pussy, sorry lol are the basics for any pumpers. See, he's totally mansplaining it. Yeah, he is. Oh my god. You're welcome. There is no magic routine.

Folks, I'm here to tell you, there's no magic routine to pussy pumping. Start slow. Get used to pumping. Get used to pumping. Get used. I thought that was youst. Get used to pumping, y to pumping. Get used to pumping. Get used. I thought that was youst. Get used to pumping, y'all. Get used.

Everybody's trying to get used to pumping, but I'm here to get used to pumping. Oh. I see. Pump every... This is a joke that doesn't work phonetically. No, which is why I'm telling it twice. Pump every second day for a few weeks work up to long pumps 10 minutes to 15 minutes to 20 minutes not to higher pressure if you feel pain or uncomfortable you are doing something wrong

none of these people ever feel uncomfortable with putting their dick in and never mind well here's the thing if you don't feel that you're still doing something wrong if you don't feel uncomfortable why don't you feel uncomfortable like emotionally at the very least. I don't understand. Key points. One, relax. Have fun with pumping. Two, pump every day for as long as you can. Three, don't stress if today's pump is not as big as yesterday's pump was. That's how we get hurt, trying to go one better than the day before.

But that's what everyone's stated goal is we all have good days and bad days just let the juices flow how they want to bro sometimes sometimes you gotta just take some weight off the pump and you know like just hit it the next day

harder twice as hard you know bro so like you can't just you can't go in there and just keep throwing weight on the pump. That's just not the way to get swole. You would get punched if you went into gym. And I do mean literally swole. Yeah, swollen.

Swollen. Four, relax. Again. Meditate. Tell your body what you want it to do. Get bigger! Get all bubbly and weird! Look gross!

For that, meditate. Attitude. Feel good. I had some of my best results when I would do deep breathing. I could physically feel my skin stretch as I relaxed deep breathing. Hope this helped. Pump lots and have fun. So that was section two, perfect for the ladies in your life.

We're going to move on to section three, which is the... Oh, God, no. the... Oh, God! Yeah! Oh! Yeah! Can I offer a piece of advice to... Don't look at the pictures!

To future generations of humanity. What's that? Never click on the profile of Bent Slung and then proceed to click on the link that says wasp slash hornet sting in dick.

Oh, we got some bug dick going on. Great, bug dick. Don't do that. I accidentally logged out somehow. I don't know how that happened. Just give me a moment here.

So what you're saying is that I'm going to need another beer. Makes your dick bigger and cures your arthritis. Yeah! Can't wait to see these good posts. Wasp. What did you say it was? You said

wasp? No, it was Ben Slong and then Wasps Ben Slong's profile And then Wasp slash Hornet Sting And Dick It's his most active topic Oh my god Oh my god

It was worth it What a great picture I am so happy You scrolled down, right? No, Frank West It was worth it. What a great picture. I am so happy. You scrolled down, right? No, Frank West! No! Why is the wasp still there?

So did he then start pumping with the wasp? He left the wasp in it so he could take a picture of it. Oh, it's intentional. You want to get stung. Oh, yeah. Because it makes it bigger. What do you mean, in it? That's all natural. Foolish of me. I assumed you were just

flopping your dick out and it got stung by accident. You want to put your thing in plastic? That doesn't seem like you inflate your dick. Please don't tell me that the wasp is in his fucking dick. No, no, no. It's just on its dick and he has it in a

cup, and he puts the cup against his genitals until it stings him a bunch. It's not weird. What's your problem? I'm pretty sure I read about that in a novel. It was a Clive Barker novel, but yeah, okay. Yeah, and this weird spiky ring he has around his dick is definitely

very Clive Barker Jimmy Frank as I said we're moving into the misadventure section skipping past a long back and forth thread about a guy getting kicked in the balls by his sister's kid

he's like oh that's too bad they got kicked in the balls but then my dick got bigger, so that was pretty cool. A little ball-busting crossover fan figure. That glass is half full of dick. Yeah, but anyway, we're going to skip past that. And, Jimmy Franks, I'm hoping that Pipefitter Dom has some advice for me, because my name is ZapRap and I'm fairly new and I started pumping about midsummer.

Sorry, how do you pronounce your name? ZapRap? Oh man, I loved you on Scrubs. You were the best. So funny. If you really loved me on Scrubs you would have donated more to my Kickstarter. I feel like that's actually ZapBR, and this guy actually posts only in rap.

I'm fairly new, and I started bumping around in summer. New choice. Yeah. Thank you. So I got to the point of I got to the point of pumping for about three days in a row. Rest for one or two and back at it. Always wet pump.

Sometimes I used Epsom salt. What? What? I mean, presumably in water. I gradually got up to about an hour and a half of pump time. God damn.

Wow. Okay, I'd pump 20 minutes at 5 HG I don't know But periodically every 5, 7, 1, 10 minutes go back down to 1 HG for 30 seconds then back up

Oh yeah, it's important to have that sort of quick rest so you get the Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it's sensible It's what a physician recommended. Okay, so Hg is an inch of mercury, I guess that's the... It's a measurement of pressure. I don't know...

I don't know why there's a... Imperial measurement has... It's used for barometric pressure. Okay. All right, all right, cool, cool, great. So I'd pop out of the tube for about five minutes of massaging

and back in for another one. He'd take his dick out of the tube and be like, oh, you're not getting away. Yeah. Now it's this. I massaged it

like the fine Wagyu beef cattle. His dick is the cat from the Pepeyu beef cattle. His dick is the cat from the Pepe Le Pew cartoons. Then I got going on a third day. I'd do two sessions. An hour and a half in the wee morning, then mid-late afternoon. During that last one, I would balloon up.

Three hours a day. Yeah. What are you, calling me a slacker? No, no, no, you're fine. You're fine. Rookie numbers. So during that last one I would balloon up. I only got massive like twice. Really sorry.

Really sorry, Nutshell, that I have no picks. Ain't that a crying shame? As soon as I got massive, I immediately would meet a lady to see her again. Hey, you on the street. Yeah, did she consent to this in advance? Or are you just like,

hey, want to see something really scary? Well, he said it happened, like, incidentally. You didn't plan. He just went and found the lady. So what he's not telling you is these pumping sessions were at the bus stop. Hey, you! Are you gay? Would you like to be?

After I got my last pump, I got huge. I decided to take... After my last pump, I'm pump, I got huge. I decided to take... After my last pump, I'm sorry, I got huge. So I decided to take a break because my sack got bright red. My sack got super dry. I've been putting shea butter on every day now. It has been over two weeks since my last pump. The color of my sack is finally back to normal color.

Do you have a chip for that? It's like a keychain thing, but it's truck nuts. The color of my sack is... My balls used to naturally sag very low, and the shape of my sack is very different. And nowhere near as low as what they used to be. I don't...

Also, I am more than positive. More than positive. My balls are now smaller than before I began. You killed them. They are shriveled up and dying. You killed them. I can no longer wave them to and fro. I can't tie them in a knot.

I can't tie them in a bow. But can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? I can still longer wave them to and fro. I can't tie them in a knot. I can't tie them in a bow. But can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? I can still do that. Okay. Anyone have experience with any of this? I'm seeing a doctor this Friday because it concerns me deeply. Hey, hey. And the doctor's opinion will be valid, I guess.

But really what I'm most interested in is forums.newart.com. Hey, hey, hey, hey, listen. This is Pipefitter Dom. It's short for Pipefitter Dominic. You know, listen, dummy. The doctor's just going to tell you to stop. Redness, itching, and discoloration. That's normal when you pump aggressively and get massive sack growth too suddenly.

Learn your limits, kid. Try to stick to them. When you're having great results, it's definitely hard to stop. You know, most of us... Yeah, that's a mystery. Most of us go through phases when we get big defined balls and no fluid accumulation for sack growth. It's aggravating. Yeah, but he didn't

say he was getting big to find balls. He was getting small ones. Like shrinking back up into his body to try and escape. They're just scared because they think they're next. Now, hey, guys, guys, guys. I'm sure that Pipefitter Dom

isn't going to get extremely creepy in the next sentence or two. Look, listen, kid. You'll likely gain back your size, and then some of you don't stop. Also, if possible, post photos and give detailed accounts of the reactions received from your lady friend. All right, Pipefitter Dom out. All right. Just saying.

Oh, Lord. That's an interesting story. Please tell us about your lady's reaction. You know, maybe. You know, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. For those of you that haven't read this part, what do you think the lady is?

Is it a doll that he fashioned out of a broom? Good guess. I mean, dogs can be female, so... The lady I met was a massage therapist. Oh, no! Go to jail. Go to jail now. Where I can

always be happily. Holy shit. No, it's okay, guys. She's, uh, she's, she's, she's, guys. She's making money off of it. So he just goes in and is like, huh? Huh? Huh? What you think? It's $40 just like everybody else. What the fuck

do I do with this? Just slap it a while? Do I need it? She took one look at him and she's like, you know, oh my god, I'm gonna make so much money off this asshole. Oh, your dick is so big, I'm gonna have to charge double for

the big dick ring. Yeah. Oh, maybe even triple. It's extra big today. Yeah. Since I got the boys pumped up quite a bit, I didn't want to lay on my stomach. So as I was on my back, the door opened, she walked in, looked down, and immediately she had a huge smile on her face. Because she's trying not to laugh. Her shoulders shook like she was having some suppressed laughter reaction.

That could possibly be it. She began to run a finger from the top of the table where my sack was laying and ran it up the middle of my sack to my penis. It's like, it's like, it's like, here's what it's like. Yes, yes, Lemon, what's it like? What's it like? Tell me. It's like she immediately knew what to do. Oh my god.

How in the fuck did she figure out I want a handjob? Are you telling me that the prostitute knew... She knew immediately how to sexually satisfy him. I typically like my balls massaged, but always wait until the

end of a full body. She got right up on the table with me, sat between my legs, put my legs up over hers, and did not stop playing with them for about 30 minutes. I mean, they gotta be kind of fun to play with. They're probably like just big ol' water balloons filled with jello at that point, you know?

I mean, yeah, like if you're having a stressful day. Like one of those water weenies that you can get at the frickin' toy store. Whoop! Squirted out the hand again. Whoop! Woohoo! Hey, Jenny,

try this. Okay, where's his urethra? Uh-oh! try this. Okay, where's his urethra? I instructed her to do a hold where you have the sack held at the base of your shaft. Okay, imagine this. The sack held at the base of the shaft and in an okay grip

I can never imagine anything else. An okay grip with one hand where the finger and thumb meet wrapping around the top of the sack to massage them with the other. Right? She simply couldn't fit it in an okay grip. Like you're doing the okay sign

with your hand. Oh. So they're wrapped around Okay? Grip with one hand, then... Is this how the Illuminati give hand jobs? I think so. No, no, no, it's the Knights Templar.

The Illuminati hand jobs are different. So she laughed to herself, saying, Obviously, she couldn't, uh, so she laughed to herself, saying too big. Obviously, English isn't her first language. And after that, she went to the happy, and I also left very happy. Huh. Man, I hope she's charging him up the wazoo. She sure is. She sure is.

Literally. Yeah. Uh, that's my fetish. Hey, before we move into our next section, Boots, do you have some questions for the pros? Sure. Yeah, my name is 729

B4L. Okay, guys. I've been pumping for a dozen years. Pretty regular, two to three times a week for the first eight years and now only every three months or so plus i'm old so everything sags okay here it is we'll get it real stretchy and then it won't yeah good here it is what method are you using to keep those wonderful nut sacks out of the toilet water right yeah oh boy yeah pretty funny oh boy i don't i just don't mutilate them but i guess th is own that's my strategy. I've thought about that before.

Someday. I've heard of that happening. And that's so much distance. Listen to the little guys here who don't pump. God damn it. Maybe they got high flows.

Little tiny life preservers just kind of slip on there or something. I like that. Or you use the bidet and it hits it like a speed bag. You know. We work so hard to get them to stretch and be large and then unintended consequences. The water is cold. And then I gotta wash them.

I have to wash my balls? What the fuck? It's so hard being a man. Thank you for your service. I'm washing poop off my balls, is what I'm saying. Right, yeah. I know. That's what I'm saying. Boo!

So how do you do it? Give us your counsel. Hi, hi, hi. My name is Toledo Pumper. Toledo. I'm a pumper from Toledo. You got a certain swagger, Toledo Pumper. I like you.

I do not consider myself a pro. Nor do... Get the fuck out the thread. I like the fact that there's like a whole gang of Ohio Pumpers. Like Toledo Pumper and Dayton Pumper. They got leather jackets on the backs as Tuttle Snakes rule. Cleveland Pumper. They call me the Cincinnati Pumper.

Which one of you is the Toledo Pumper? Pumping duels in the middle of downtown. All right, you know the rules. Wait, did we figure out rules? All right, one, two, three. Hey, no, officer, we're not doing that. What are you? Nor do mine stretch that far downward.

But I do have a few tips to offer. If I need to be seated, I would use one hand to cup and support myself. Or you could get a seat riser. Working with a Bullmaster Magnum! No, it's not a hemorrhoid donut. It's so my giant balls don't dip into the toilet water. Hey, listen, it's Pipefair Adam again. I heard you needed some advice, so...

Hey, the easiest thing to do is keep your knees together so they sit on your lap instead. How? What? You put your balls on your lap. You kind of flip them like the opposite of a tuck, you know. So you're saying the beans are above the frame. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, actually, I peed through it.

Just to complete reversal. Yeah, like a kangaroo. So this is me about a day and a half later. I just got off work, and I was thinking... Our genitals are upside down. I didn't really say enough about that last thing, so I wanted to share a personal anecdote. I peed through a piece of two-inch tubing so it doesn't dribble down my balls. Okay.

Okay. Whoa! Sure, yeah. And then I take a crap Thinking ahead That's the most insane thing so far In this episode It's kind of a two stage process for me

I gotta plan ahead and I gotta like bring a kit with me It's really I don't know if we gotta I feel like we're learning So much about what it's like to, you know, inflate your genitals to gigantic sizes. I don't know if we got to read the next one, but we got to read the title at least. Go ahead.

Penis plug stuck. Penis plug stuck. Penis plug's cold. Penis plug's in your mouth five days old one a penny two a penny penis plug struck metalplug.jpg gotta see what that is

oh no don't do it oh that's not gross at all that's just a picture AF plus do it don't do it oh that's not gross at all that's just a picture oh af plus oh man i did not expect that fantastic uh jack chick oh no no Jack Chick Oh no No It can't be It can't fucking be It sure is

It sure is Yeah It's also incorrectly formatted Yeah good One big paragraph So Jack Chick your name's Allison Rick You got some preamble, but fuck that Allison Rick The preamble's longer than the poem

Just some preamble to poetry Tis the season, Jack Chick Come on The best part about this is I was literally thinking When you announced poetry, I was like Well, at least there won't be one of those You didn't say poetry, I was like, well, at least there won't be one of those. You didn't say songs, I'm saying! Yeah, so of course it's the first fucking one.

Twas the night before Christmas, we were whining as hell. I soon found my cock in a large plastic shelf. I pumped I pumped and I pumped till I filled up my tube and milked in between with plenty of lube. When I was packed, I pulled out my pole and soon began filling each of her holes. First was her mouth, and oh, what a treat.

Then her gay pussy devoured my meat. Stay on the meter. I like that it swings, you know. But what meter? I work hard for the money, dammit. You better treat me right. Wait, we're getting paid? Oh yeah, all of us.

Have you gotten your checks? We are fucking rolling in it. God dammit, is this podcast paying us all? Yeah. So anyways, we fucked and we fucked and each can't we fucked and we fucked and each came... We fucked and we fucked and each cum came fast.

I soon found my cock ballsy being her ass. Yeah! Yeah! Threading so many needles. We continued to fuck all through the night, filling each of her holes with all of my might. She came and she came, my each of her holes with all of my might. She came and she came, my cock making her scream.

Then I knelt tween her legs, licking up all of her cream. I licked and- I got some news for you, buddy. That's not her cream. Uh-oh. It's perfect. It's perfect. I licked and I lapped, swallowing each precious drop, and three times that night she

caused me to pop. That's good. That's perfect. One in her mouth and then one... Nope, sorry. One in her mouth, then one in her ass, then I sprayed on her chest the load that was last. Wow. Oh, he couldn't even make that one happen.

When our night had concluded, I pondered... Yeah! Yeah! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me! Da-da-da-da-da-da! I pondered... Slabbles! I pondered my luck to have married

a woman who is such a hot fuck. Okay, can you just give me that last line one more time, please? Yes. When our night had concluded, I pondered my luck to have married a woman who is such a hot fuck.

There you go. I think you just failed the Turing test. Ha ha ha! Jimmy Franks? this poem is by Tassie Lover and it's called R.E. Cox for Alice I'm getting a real Bruce Springsteen

it sounds like a soul asylum song I was really hoping there would be Elvis Costello your second album wasn't very good alright yep I mean, I was really hoping there'd be Elvis Costello. Your second album wasn't very good. All right. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking... What were you going to say, Jack Chick? Oh, I was just thinking Perry Farrell, actually.

Yeah. Cocks! He played in Cocks! There's a couple on New Art. Their names are Allison and Rick She pumps her pussy And he pumps his dick Great

They both pump together Are you sure this isn't a John Cougar Mellencamp parody? There's a couple on New Art Their names are Allison and Rick She pumps her pussy And he pumps his dick They both pump together And together they're one.

They love each other and they like to have fun. Oh no. I'm not doing that. That's a new choice. She's very beautiful, so sexy and sweet. They're like the nicest people you ever want to meet. They like to pump. They make passionate love.

Her pussy flares out like the wings of a dove. Young hearts, be free tonight. Yikes. like is that is that voluntarily or does that happen just in the wind when doves cry uh she she pumps his she pumps her pussy her nipples and clit when his cock is inside her it's's a perfect fit. Oh, I like that one. I actually like that one. I always love to look at all their pics,

and I know they've been the cause of many hard dicks. Wait, this is a fan poem? Yeah. Oh, shit. This is somebody that's writing about the author of The Night Before Christmas. Oh, so R.E. Cox for Allison.

There's an account called Allison Rick. Allison Rick is the one who made The Night Before Christmas poem we just read. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, they're kind of a big deal in the penis pumping community. You might know him. Okay. She has a nice pussy. Her ass I like well. I do have fantasies, but I'll never

tell. Together they're perfect. You definitely haven't laid those out on the table. Together they're perfect. And hot, hot, hot. Well, as you can tell, I like them a lot. Love you guys. Smiley face, smiley face, hot, hot. Well, as you can tell, I like them a lot. Love you guys.

Smiley face, smiley face, smiley face. Scroll down a little bit here. We're going to scroll past crackheads. 17th tits and big clicks. 10 new picks for 1128. 17th tits and big clicks 10 new picks for 1128 um but right here in the

body stocking pumping thread some more poetry so this isn't really like there's like poem threads like these it's just like freeform poetry just breaks out the mood just strikes people um and uh so yeah in in response to body stocking pumping, Boots, what does we love to pump have to say? We love to pump.

We love to pump. The pumping bus is coming. Everyone's pulling over over Everybody's running Thank you both and everyone else For understanding I ain't going just yet I'm gonna finish this set I think it's a safe bet that your

cocks and pussies are wet. I mean, why would my cock be wet? That is a strong open. Because you're wet pumping, duh. You need to see more of what you adore. But don't be sore when we go through the door

lurkers aplenty pictures to few that the wrong two but okay makes the community sad and blue when we're gone you'll know what to do i'll have sent you a PM with a pretty big clue yeah boy that was good why am I kicked off the cheerleading team for my channel Frank West gave a response for that

hey I'm Raven 3177 thanks for the poem that oughta show em Frank West, your response for that. Hey, I'm Raven 377. Thanks for the poem. That ought to show them. Who is the boss? It's their loss. Wherever you go, please continue to show we love how you pump.

Wait, I just fucking lost my spot. I don't even know how. There's like eight lines in this poem and you were on number seven. I know, I don't know how I did it. I've had even know how. There's like eight lines in this poem, and you were on number seven. I know, I don't know how I did it. I've had to process a lot tonight. Just go refresh, calm your mind

down, look at some pictures of a wasp stone dick. Raven 3000. I wonder if Cloudflare knows that they're protecting this. We all love how you pump. We'd all love to hump. Your picks are the best, but it's time for a rest.

And then we love to pump your response. Thanks for the ditty, but it's such a pity. It's not very gritty and a little bit shitty. I think it's fine to take the time to make all four rhyme. The results are sublime. The band. This site is a dump.

Pick numbers will slump, but my pussy stays plump because we love to pump. That's laid out like a 1-800 number, by the way. Save on collect calls by dialing that number. So, F+, what did we learn from any of this? Pumpers love to pump.

This is another one. We've run into some of these before. You know, I don't think Humpty Hump ever used the word plump in the Humpty dance when it rhymes. Just saying. Birds gotta sing. Fish gotta swim.

Birds gotta fly. They've gotta pump their dick till they die. I can't stop pumping the dick of my birds gotta fly, they've gotta pump their dick until they die. Can't stop pumping the dick of my... Wish you would. Yeah, this is just another one of those URLs that's confusing to me,

because the URL here is forums.newart.com New Art Forum. New Art Forum.com New Art Forum. New Art Forum. And it's like, yeah, by new art, obviously, we mean inflating your... Yeah, I mean, what's the confusion? That is...

That is, like, the new art. This is the new art, grandpa. There's some unfortunate art gallery out there that's got, like, a little mom- mom and pop page that's just one symbol or letter off. NewArt.org. You know, they were just really, really big fans of Videodrome. Well, the front page...

I worked for a software company for a while where the.com of our product was a gay bondage. of our product with a gay bondage. The front page of NewArt.com, like without the word forums in front of it, is broken as shit. Yeah, that makes sense. Adobe Flash Player is blocked.

The cool people know where to get good shit. Okay, well if you've got a browser that will still support Adobe Flash Player, you can click the play button on the left for an audio introduction. I don't even know how you would find a browser that will still support adobe flash player you can click the play button on the left for an audio introduction i don't even know how you would find a browser that would support adobe flash at this point uh yeah i i i mean like uh one of the things that this doesn't have because thanks to cat examiner i did the login as a shaggy coupon um and uh uh a lot of times that we've gone to other ones, you know, the hair fetish forums or whatever

they're like, oh, you're there and also, like, what about Game of Thrones? They are fucking on message the entire time, like, there's no there's no faffing around it's like, yeah, like, making balls big making dicks big, making clits big I guess nipples

and we are done. Oh, and then obviously impotence for some reason. I mean, what? Oh, and there's pro-lap. Oh. I mean, yeah, no, usually

in these episodes... And there's one moderator for every... He's the same moderator for every forum except female pumping, which also has one other person. That's gross. Big Ray's just in charge here. Like... Well, yeah. I mean, Big Ray...

I mean, Big Ray, obviously, he's a man on a mission. He wants to provide a service. He's never posted. Ever. He just likes observing. He wants to remain impartial. And if you're looking for a place

with big inflated dicks anyway the F Plus Live will be happening on November, wait, no, fuck January 9th? 18th 18th? January 18th? We're very well prepared for it

It's in Portland Portland, Oregon, we're making a goddamn weekend of it. So come out to Portland. Fight everything. We like you. Well, speak for yourself.

We like some of you. I mean, that's reasonable. Come out and find which ones we like and which ones we don't like. This would be great. At F Plus Life, we'll actually have a talk and put your name

on one of your calls. Do you like potential social humiliation? Come to F Plus Live. Okay, bye. Bye. If there's one thing our viewers are known for, it's not having any sort of social anxiety. So that was good for them.

Yeah. Ooh. Gigantic. Gigantic. Gigantic. A big, big love. Gigantic. Gigantic.

Gigantic. A big, big love.