The F Plus - 318: Wookiee Ookiee Ookiee

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

The volunteer researchers over at The Wookieepedia have quite a job in front of them: They must catalog absolutely everything that has ever existed in the Star Wars Universe, including (but not limited to) the things that Disney has labeled as canon. This week The F Plus has learned one thing about Twi'lek dancers, and it's wrong.

Just very quickly, pornography. Pornography was the explicit depiction of sexual subject matter. End of that article. Was? Was. A long time ago. A galaxy far, far away. Yeah, it's all past tense.

Disney got rid of it. Welcome to the F+, a podcast recorded long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. In the room tonight, we have Achilles Heelies. Me so wonder, sometimes why da guns invent pain. Adam Bozarth. Han Solo in the Corporate Sector Sourcebook was a role-playing guy published by West End Games for Star Wars The Role-Playing Game. Frank West.

In human males, the crotch area where the testes were located was a highly sensitive zone, and blows landing in that area could prove quickly debilitating. Lemon. Runin' lemons were a type of lemon which were grown on the planet Runa by the native Runin'. They were served with grilled OPC killer filet

in Dexter's Diner on the planet Coruscant, and were also used as a syrup flavoring of fizzglogger tea. Delicious. And Boots Reingear. Bananas were a yellowish green fruit found in the galaxy. They sometimes had brown spots after growing too ripe. Bananas were typically

the shape of a crescent. Similarly, a woman would sometimes slam her knee between a man's legs to rebuff his unwanted sexual advances. Hey, F+. Hey, Boots. Hey, Lemon? No, Boots, no. This is like the sixth or seventh time that you've tried to pull that on me, Frank West.

And it's still funny that's why we keep you around you can't get rid of me anyway i got a question for all of you but specifically lemon i i want to ask you a question yep um at the end of the mandalorian when they pulled out the dark saber like on a scale of one to ten, like how lone was your mind? Okay. So I, here's the nice thing about the Mandalorian

is that I'm on Twitter more than is healthy. And at the point when like the entire internet was like, let's post pictures of baby Yoda back and forth. I was like, cool, cool. This is a good excuse to not look at Twitter. I do not like anything about Star Wars at all.

I really don't. None of it interests me. That's great. So, like, seven? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course. Because the thing you got to understand is like there's so much uh lore from the cartoons with the dark saber and it's showing

up in the show sort of validates all of that and it's just incredible how the whole universe has come together with a drink like trying to enjoy myself and then somebody would talk to me about star wars like and i would have a glazed over expression and then they would talk to me about Star Wars and I would have a glazed over expression and then they would talk to me some more about Star Wars. That's perfect. Lemon, are your feelings on Star Wars F plus canon or is it F plus legends? Anyway, we're

going to be exploring the Wookieepedia which is the official is it official? Which is the most prominent Star Wars wiki. It's official to me, damn it. It's not unofficial. We've got a document with a title pun of I did it all for the wiki provided to us by King Calamari, a longtime member of the F-Plus community.

And one of the illustrators of the monster manual, the FOS coloring book and activity manual. Oh, yes. Yeah, probably still available. How do I get my hands on one of those? T-H-E-F-B-L dot U-S slash merch. And then what? Anyway, let's start off. Hey, Lemon.

Yeah, what? What is Wookieepedia? God, fuck. Come on, man. This is cool. Wikipedia, the Star Wars wiki, is a wiki that was started in March 4th, 2005, and strives to be the premier source of information on all aspects of the Star Wars universe. This includes information from Star Wars canon and legend stories,

encompassing films, books, games, and other media, as well as information of value to fans. The Star Wars wiki is inspired by Wikipedia, but can expand on Star Wars information in greater detail with more freedom than Wikipedia. was founded when Wikipedia users began to complain, amazingly enough, of the abundance, of the overabundance of minutiae related to Star Wars appearing on Wikipedia. How dare they? Too much Star Wars for a Wikipedia editor.

Minutiae? That's a fucking slogan. My God. The thing is, there's no such thing as minutiae when it comes to Star Wars because all the details are so important. It's a rich tapestry. Since then, it has expanded to become one of the largest wikis on the internet.

As a fan-created encyclopedia, Wookieepedia is not intended to be a primary source, nor is it a replacement for the Encyclopedia, which is capitalized, the Data Bank, which is capitalized, or any other official source. Rather, it serves as a fan effort to summarize all the aspects of the Star Wars universe in the best way possible while pointing the reader to the respective official sources. Let's skip a bit. I got some statistics for you. Ready for statistics? I'd love to hear some statistics, yeah. There are 151,815

articles on Wikipedia. Separate articles? Honestly? There's been 4,000 new made since this doc was submitted, I guess. Honestly, that seems low. It's not that long ago either. No, it's

not. This was submitted about four months ago. So cool. Great. 199 are considered featured articles. 0.131% of the total. 316 good articles. Linda.

articles. Linda. And 478 comprehensive articles. According to Alexa Internet, which is not a good place for data. Who's she? Wiki is three month global. Alexa's traffic

rank is 141. Again, Alexa stats as alexis stats are bullshit they are complete um so just looking at wiki uh wikia's statistics uh star wars falls behind fallout then league of legends then runescape then yugioh whoa really yeah and and the and the number one site with uh three and a half times as many views as Star Wars. Supernatural. Supernatural. It's the Elder Scrolls.

What? They haven't put out a game. They haven't put out a game. Well, they put out the same game many times in the last six years. But yeah. Do you think that's just probably like because like the video games make a little bit because I feel like a lot of that is like looking for information to find quests and stuff. The thing is, F Plus fans, with your help, we're going to bring Wikipedia to number one.

It's been the reason for the podcast, Wikipedia on top. Yeah, for what it's worth, I feel like there is an F Plus Wikia. Yeah, somebody at some point started an F plus Wikia, which I think has like three or four articles. Yeah. Which is about as much effort as we deserve. Okay, let's get into the actual content of this website. Adam Bosarth. Yes.

I want you to read the first article that's listed in this document under the category of Part 2, Articles for Things That Actually Exist. And so this is a thing that exists within the Star Wars universe. I've heard of these. Oh, actually, sorry, before we move to Adam, Frank West, because this is going to come up a bunch. Can you briefly explain the difference?

Yeah, the difference between classic and legends. Okay, so I'm just going to say this directly to Lemon, because he's the one in the room who doesn't know. So when Disney bought Star Wars, they looked at all of the shit that was written about Star Wars, and they were like, oh, fuck. So they just decided none of that's canon anymore and they just got fucking rid of it. So like all the novels, comic books, like anything that wasn't one of the six already made movies

is no longer canonical. I think they picked like the six movies and like one video game and you're like, you're in, you're good. So the fans really don't like that because they like all of that stuff so now every single page is split into canon and legends yeah so we're reading what's the difference more pedantry which one the canon is is canon is disney legends is what disney calls all the stuff they don't care about anymore,

but they don't want to piss off Disney. Legends is it's fallen into legend. I see. Adam, can you tell us what your article is? Boots, what is this? Legends or canon. What is? Okay, hold on.

Boots just sent me this article that says, breasts, legends. Breasts were what? Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species. Grandpa! And some repto mammals. Repto mammals. Repto mammals Repto mammals And were normally a distinguishing feature

Of the female species Males did have breasts But they were far less developed than their female counterparts Due to the Sexual dimorphism I'd like us to take this all Very seriously Remember that Star Wars takes place

In a galaxy a long time ago. Right. In a galaxy far, far away. So the breasts are past tense. This is something that exists in both the Star Wars universe and the Total Recall universe. Fun crossover. Biological role. In some cultures, sentient females nurse their own young

females this was true of both primitive planetary societies like dathomir where the warrior women of singing mountain clan would feed their children even during solemn councils of war and high-tech interstellar civilization Leia Organa Solo nursed her twins for some time. And Mara Jade Skywalker nursed her son Ben until he was a few months old. Even Tenel Kajo, queen mother of Hep P's consortium, nursed her daughter Alana herself. Yeah, remember?

Alternative methods of feeding infants did exist as the TDL nanny droid could store up to two liters of milk internally. Where did she get the milk? Who's to say? Follow the link to breast milk. Other

sentient species retain strong breast feeding traditions as well. Female Wookiees had six breasts, which they used... Oh my god, that's twice as good as Total Recall. Which they used to nurse their litters of cubs. Aske...

What is that? Askegian? Askegian. Askegian females? This doc has What is that? Ascadian? Ascadian. Ascadian females? This doc has almost no typos, and it still may be the hardest one to pronounce we've ever had. Ascadian females also had six breasts, while grand females had three.

There we go. Rollin' males. Breast rollin' males? Yes. Breast Roll in males. Breast roll in males? Yes. Breast rolls in males? Yeah. As male individuals were not biologically meant to nurse their offspring, they sported much smaller breasts and produced no milk.

Mandalore, the lesser than a gladiator, Aaron Peacebringer, a planetary leader, and Anakin Skywalker in certain circumstances, such as Nelvon, would freely exhibit them. Oh, sluts. The males in primitive cultures would also go bare-chested in their young adulthood and childhood, such as the Nelvarians uh all males

would go bare chested to allow freedom of mobility or body temperature as exhibited by the whip hid Jedi master oh my god spell that asshole name would you please K capital Krophe, capital K, R-U-H-K.

That's some fucking Drizder bullshit there. Yes. I think that's pronounced... Hey, Lemon, how much longer until you go completely insane? Hey, Lemon. Some males such as Anakin Skywalker would also sleep bare-chested for comfort, which should be noted. Yeah, no, that should be

noted. Yeah, you're right. It's important. Somebody else dressed completely undressed to sleep as opposed to simply going bare-chested. He was just nude. Frank West, how many of these reference books would you estimate that there are that exist?

Well, Lemon, I'm glad you asked because if you click through the page and scroll down to appearances of breasts, there's a list. Oh my God. All titties in Star Wars. They're mentioned in Star Wars The Old Republic. Yeah, I was just...

Star Wars Episode IV was their first appearance. Also male breasts were not usually covered when the individual was in a bacta tank as exhibited by Luke Skywalker or Kyle Shatarn. In the courtship of Princess Leia, that was when they were first identified as breasts. Princess Lair? That sounds like a porno parody.

Yeah, it's Princess Lair, see? Okay. Princess Lair. All right, let's move on. Achilles Heelies. Yeah. We're going to move on to an equally enticing part of the body. Uh-huh.

Tell us about limbs. Limbs? Well, limbs. Limbs were important appendages of organic bodies and many types of mechanical chassis. Jesus. They were typically designed for motion and or

manipulation and were found on most sentient and non-sentient species throughout the galaxy, and many droids and other artificial constructs. Humans and many other important sentient species were bipedal, with two legs and two arms, and this form was imitated by many droids. But there were many variations. Sometimes these were relatively subtle, especially in the construction of hands, feet, and their digits.

Hey, you read two paragraphs and none of them said anything? Oh, I don't know. There's like a bipedal thing sometimes, but sometimes there isn't. And also commonly there's this thing, except for in these other circumstances. What are you, a Wikipedia-ter? Lemon, wouldn't you say all these things are true of limbs? In Star Wars? Some bipedal species

of the galaxy exhibited forearms such as Besalisks, Cordrigi, Minarishi, and Fofahians. Okay, go ahead and skip to the last two short paragraphs. Oh, I guess. Can I say Cluedavians first? Sure.

Okay. Get a Cluedavians. Yeah, Cluedavians. Trandoshans. Trandoshans are cool, man. Wookies were known to pull off limbs when off individuals went unhappy. Footnote.

Great. Thank you for sanitizing that joke. Yep. Taking all the funny out of it. All right. That's what Wikipedia does. Other species, such as serpents, like snakes, and the sentient

Priapulin had no limbs. Priapulin? What is he, a hard-on alien? Uh, probably. Priapulin. Do not take Priapulin with alcohol. I do just want to make clear that every single

page we will be reading has a list of appearances where every time this thing was mentioned in anything. That's great. Wow. Just now in looking at the category anatomy on Wikipedia, I've learned that the fleshy dreadlocks that exist in Star Wars are called Leku. Yeah, it's true. So that's a thing that I know now. Just so you know,

limbs first appeared in Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope, but they were first mentioned in Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope novelization. I hope they're referred to as limbs. God, this is... It's the best website.

There's not a better website. Where else are you going to learn about limbs? Star Wars limbs. This is horrible. Frank West. That's me. I want you to tell me about Flank to Go. Flank to Go.

It's even funnier spelled out. This is under the parent category of Star Wars slash wiki slash fast food. Oh, yeah. This is a super category of fast food, which is fast food was a style of food served at certain restaurants. Hey, guys. Nabooian Reviewer here back with another fast food review. Hey guys, NabooianReviewer here, back with another fast food review. Flankth2Go was a fast food chain that served Flankth,

and it was the second largest fast food chain in the Galactic Empire, following the Taggy Restaurant Association's popular Biscuit Baron chain. What? That's the least Star Wars thing ever. The Biscuit Baron chain. What? That's the least Star Wars thing ever. The Biscuit Baron. Oh my God, I love the Biscuit Baron. The Biscuit Baron. Biscuit Baron. Wow. That's a Saturday morning cartoon show from the BBC.

That is not Star Wars. That's a bad biscuit. Can we make the biscuit bear in our episode, Ark? Wow. The biscuit bear did not like his biscuit. Flanks to Go was owned by the Arkon Multinode Agricorp. con multinode agricorp and it was also the sponsor for jats musician fitzroy's core wide summer side tour in zero bby what zero baby i don't know so there's jet there's jats music okay so let's yeah we're gonna we're gonna take a little diversion into something much further

into the document great so uh let's just learn just a little bit about something much further into the document. Let's just learn just a little bit about Jats. Jats was a genre of music popular in the Galactic Republic. By the time of the Clone Wars, however, Jats was considered turgid and outdated compared to the more modern genre of leap jump. No!

No! No! Leap jump? No! Leap jump was a loud rhythmic genre of music popular among young people during the Clone Wars. They had a lot of time for dancing. Oh, I can learn what music is from this one, though. Yeah, but we all want to know about the music

that was in the original trilogy. What was the genre of the music that was performed by Max Rebo and his band? I learned this just before we hit record. In the cantina in A New Hope, it was called jizz. So jizz was a genre of music. Jizz whalers were musicians

who specialized in the genre. Max Rebo and his band were popular jizz whalers were musicians who specialized in the genre Max Rebo and his band were popular jizz whalers jizz most notably preferred by Fergan Dan and the Modal Notes yep and Bob Lopaker's All Biff Band

Adam what are the subgenres of jizz what are the subgenres of jizz? What are the subgenres of jizz? Do I have to go to the... It's just right there in the jizz section. Is it canon or legends, though? There's two jizz sections. Here, I'll just... Subgenres of jizz include jizz whale, abade, and glitz.

Also, the music form jats was reminiscent of, or in some ways similar to, Jizz. This is reminiscent of Jizz. I have to say, I've been a fairly unpopular Jizz wailer in my time. Oh my god, there's a list of... So there's a list of Jizz instruments I'd like to pick a few from.

There's the Jizz box. a few from. There's the jizz box. There's the clack beat box. There's the peel rod. Baby, when I called you a jizz box, what I meant was...

There's the mood synthesizer, classic synthesizers. And of course, there's the ploong sounder. That's just a moog synthesizer why would disney get rid of this stuff why why would disney get rid of this stuff no this is the stuff they didn't get rid of okay this is the necessary this is canonical this is the stuff they kept god damn it george lucas came up with this from his beautiful, beautiful mind. Lemon.

I just pasted an article. Oh, good. Good. Hey. Fuck. Hey, F Plus. How do you feel about product tie-ins? Good. Great. Coca-Cola was a carbonated caffeinated soda. Plus, how do you feel about product tie-ins? Good?

Great. Was Star Wars? Coca-Cola was a carbonated caffeinated soda served in plastic orb bottles and paper cups at various locations throughout Black Spire outpost on the planet Batuu. The beverage was imported by Jotka, a Lerman male from the planet Mygeeto, who sold it to travelers and locals via his company, Jotka's Coolers, at pop-up locations around the outpost

and in nearby ancient ruins. Let me give you a description of Coca-Cola because I think you probably need one. Coca-Cola was a brown carbonated soda with caffeine. It was packaged in red spherical plastic bottles with white writing that read Coca-Cola and original taste, surrounded by a black angular border. The beverage was sealed using a metallic screw-on cap

with several rectangular protrusions. Whoa, slow down. What? Protrusions, I say. Several rectangular protrusions. It was also served from dispensers. This is very important to know. With ice in large and regular-sized paper cups.

The drink was safe for humans to consume, and an altered version of the beverage called Diet Coke was available! Fuck this! Altered version. Lemon, can you tell me the affiliation of... I don't want to! Okay, the affiliation. Okay, Coke Cola, of course, was found in the Black Spider outpost, as you knew.

The type is a soda. The physical description would be a brown liquid. It's potable by humans, so congratulations. So it was on the Dock Bay 7 food and cargo. You could also find it at Jotka's Coolers. You could also find it as Kototka's Coolers. You could also find it as Katsaka's Kettle. And then you could find it at Ronto's Roasters. Now, if you're wondering, are there sources for this?

Yes, of course there's sources for this! This is a well-sourced document! Coca-Cola has four appearances in the Star Wars universe, and they're all at the concession stands of the star of galaxies edge They're canon that way It's the Star Wars Land Park. Oh at Disney World. Yeah, okay great It's the best Adam pose earth. Yes Tell us about a confection. I Okay, great. It's the best. Adam Bozerth. Yes.

Tell us about a confection. I would like to tell you about this food item from the imaginative world of George Lucas' fantasy scape, Star Wars. This food that sometimes is eaten, it's called cake. Cake was a confection. Oh, similar to that band with the long jacket and whatnot? The jizz band? More of a Jatz band, really.

Jatz band. Sure made me jizz whale. Cake was a confection sometimes eaten by the slice and often for dessert. Six-six layer cake was offered at Dex's Diner. Flat cakes

were another type of cake, as was Jogan fruitcake. While traveling together, Luke Skywalker and Nakari Kellan had a discussion regarding the feared Imperial Enforcer Darth Vader, who at the time Skywalker had believed killed his father. Kellen felt that if Skywalker ever had the chance to meet and talk with Vader, he should ask him if he's ever eaten cake because he had.

Did something happen? Did you stub your toe? Yeah, sure This was a very important Star Wars story Callan felt that if Skywalker ever had the chance, he should ask if Darth Vader ever eaten cake

because if he had done so then he would be a sign that he was at one time human and therefore not beyond the possibility of redemption In her 19 years of existence, Rey has never tasted cake and looked forward to holding Han Solo to the promise

to her, Solo, Chewbacca, and Finn all having a party with cake when they escaped Starkiller base. And then after this, there's a non-canon history of cake. There's an actual character in the Star Wars universe called Darth Sidious. Yes.

Oh, yeah. No, that's from the main movies. Isn't that Christopher Lee? That sucks. Yeah, Christopher Lee played Darth Sidious. Yeah, Darth Sidious. Hey, is Darth Sidious a bad guy? Well, it's a benefit. Should we just... Should I do this? Sidious. Hey, is Darth Sidious a bad guy? Yeah.

Should we just... What video game was it where the people making the video game had a meeting with George Lucas and they sat down with him. They're like, we want to make a Sith villain. We want to make a Darth character. And he's like, oh, I think that's great. But we want to

make sure that we have a name that you approve and he's like I've got you can use one of these two names you have to use one of these two names and it was it was Darth Insanius and Darth Icky and so they didn't use and so they

didn't make a Sith villain fun fact Darth Sidious was actually Emperor Palpatine not So they didn't make a Sith villain. Fun fact, Darth Sidious was actually Emperor Palpatine, not Christopher Lee. Oh, you're right. He was Darth Tyrannus or Count Dooku. Oh, that's right, Darth Tyrannus. Also bad. Darth Icky is the villain with the post-nasal drip.

No, he's the villain with the sticky icky icky. Darth Icky sounds like he showed up on The Young Ones. Darth Inky's your plug, dog. He's got you covered. There was a droid that spun lightsabers and had a cough in the movies. Had a cough? You can't make a joke that's worse than what George Lucas has put in these fucking movies. Frank West. That's me.

I set up two articles here for you. Oh. I see them now. A cookie was a small, flat-baked cake. Oh, I'm listening. A cookie is a small cake?

Yes. Disagree. It's a fantasy movie. In this world, cookies are small cakes. That's how they think of them, alright? If an alien species shows up and says, what's a cookie? And you say, it's a small cake, you're wrong.

You're misleading that alien. So no, it's a small cake in Star Wars yeah Star Wars is what I'm saying yeah and uh cow skirrocks whoa cow skirrata asked for a cookie during mealtime in an operation on Coruscant is the second most important thing you need to know about cooking. Oh, that Cal Scarrata. And a similar food in both name and content, Wookiee-ookies were a type of Wookiee food commonly made by Malotoba. No. So now we're just going to go over there. I want to know more about Wookiee-ookies.

I'm saying no. Wookiee-ookie-ookie-ookie-ookie-ookie-ookie. I'm saying no. No. Look at how fucking easy it is to be a rapper in the Star Wars universe. Look at this photo. Look at the Wookiee logo photo. It looks like a Sasquatch drawing.

It's a Sasquatch with a pot of gold. And of course, we all remember the famous quote about Wookiee-ookies. What's that? Now then, what's that I smell? Could it be some of those famous Wookiee-ookies? That is a good quote. It's a good quote. It's a good quote.

Wookiee-ookie. It really isn't just a great... Wookiee-ookie. Wookiee cookies were a type of wookiee food lumpawawoo was fond of these treats as when he was young his mother malato buck would commonly made them for him son don also enjoyed Mala's Wookiee-ookies. Look, we've all enjoyed Mala's Wookiee-ookies. I can't not think of Ookie-Cookie. Oh my god. Every time I hear Wookiee-Ookie, I hear Ookie-Cookie. Hey, Frank West, you're on the fandom.com article for wookieeokies right

yes yes what's the uh what's the home world of wookieeokies the home world of wookieeokies is oh that's cash yeah that's good so cash chic is the is the home world of the wookies how many how many y's in cash as too many many. Three consecutive Y's, yes. Three consecutive Y's. That's some good science fiction. The third Y is for why are there so many Y's in this? Hey, like, you know, like the Star Wars universe is sort of renowned for its, you know, its fantastical environment and crazy, like, amazing designs for its, like, creatures and its aliens and stuff like that.

I want to tell you about a, like, a rare species within the Star Wars universe. Dog. You mean the bounty hunter, right? Yeah, the bounty hunter, right? Dogs were domesticated animals known for their keen sense of smell and their barking vocalizations. They were often kept as pets by humans, sea reference, and

other species, such as towels. A similar, wider canid was a wolf. In their youth, both Luke Skywalker and Lando Calrissian owned dogs, though Lando's was run over by a hovercraft. Well, that's sort of...

I don't know why... Yo, that's a dumb dog. I don't know why you skipped over a paragraph that was a single sentence. Yeah. A paragraph that was a single sentence. Okay. All right. At least one dog lived in Anchorhead.

Thank you. Thank you for the fact about dogs. Now I know what dog is. Now you guys can all go to Anchorhead and see the dog. Several other creatures, such as the Ack Dog and the Cyborian Battle Dog, may have been related to dogs or named for dogs due to similar behavior and habits. We just don't know. Dog was also sometimes used as a term of contempt.

A Mandalorian mercenary once referred to the bounty hunter Durge as Jang's dog. Likewise, while C-3PO's head was temporarily attached to a B-1 battle droid's body during the first battle of Genosis, he shouted, Die, Jedi dogs! Oh, God. It's good writing. droid's body during the first battle of genosis he shouted die jedi dogs it's good writing it's funny

dogs must exist i've had two full glasses of rye so far though most mentions of dogs referred to non-sentient domestic animals at least one sentient being existed who was only identified as a dog.

This being was an associate of the mercenary bunny, Max. Wait. Is this a crossover with Sam and Max? Because now I'm back on the hook. He was an Easter egg in one video game, so now he's fucking canon. Oh, no, it makes sense.

Yeah, because Salmon Max was owned by Lucasfilm. Oh, shit. That's how Star Wars works. He's canon, not canon. He's old canon. He's a legend. Now I'm back on the hook. I'm going to search for Salmon Max and finally read about something I care about.

Sam the dog. Hey, Lemon. You don't care about Breast Lemon? I thought you might. Hey, Lemon, we're moving into the third section of this document. It's called Really Stupid. Sorry, the Star Wars Expanded Universe was Really Stupid. And I want you to tell me about Zeltron.

Yeah, Zeltron. Okay, so here we go to starwars.fandom.com wiki slash Zeltron. Let's see some photos of the guy. He looks rad. He's spilling a drink on the floor. Anyway, I got a quote here. A quote here from Rudy. Three yous.

Three yous in a row. Rudy Boondaz. It's Rudy Boondaz says, You've been in this business as long as I have. You'll learn a few things. Nothing's more dangerous than arguing with a Wookiee. Nothing's more foolish than gambling with a Jedi. And nothing's more alluring than a Twi'lek dancer.

But I'm here to tell you that last one is wrong. But you just told me what it was. Nothing's more alluring than a Twi'lek dancer. Also, I'm wrong. This is one thing I've learned, and it's wrong. If you like your humanoids flexible, svelte, enthusiastic, and in multiple shades of red, then the most beautiful people in the galaxy are on Zeltross. Who needs Twi'leks? Am I right, folks? Then the most beautiful people in the galaxy are on Zeltross.

Who needs Twi'leks? Am I right, folks? Thanks for reading a quote from a fictional pervert. Am I right, folks? I hear that. I hear that, buddy. Smoke my cigarette upside down. So Zeltross is Miami? The Miami planet?

So Zeltrons were a near-human species made physically distinctive by their skin, which came in different shades of red, ranging from light pink to deep red, and hair, which could be red or blue. Most of them were considered highly attractive by human, near-human, and even

some non-humanoid standards. They were also known for being extremely gullible. Oh, it's the bimbo planet. I'm going to tell you about the biology. Zeltrons were one of the few near-human races who had differentiated from the baseline stock enough to be considered a new species of the human genus rather than simply a subspecies. That sentence didn't mean a fucking thing. They possessed two biological traits of note.

The first was that they all produced potent pheromones. Great. They stink. Cool. Well. They stinky. Similar to the Folleen species, right? Yeah? Yeah, right? Yeah? Yeah, no.

Yeah, and that enhanced their attractiveness and likability. Yeah, I love a fucking smelly-ass chick. In a galaxy far, far away, yeah, certainly. Second was a limited telepathic ability to project emotions onto others, as well as allowing them to read and even feel the emotions of others. Some Zeltrons were hired by the Exchange for this ability. Because of their telepathic ability, positive emotions such as happiness, love, and pleasure became very important to them, while negative ones such as anger, fear, and depression were shunned. So they were one of the people that like didn't want to

be depressed all the time i guess what a weird we have much to learn from this species of their telepathic abilities i mean say that but there's probably several species that are like oh depression i fucking love it like that's what we do we're the depression aliens and we fucking... I love being afraid. If I was to make Star Trek Extended Universe, I would literally have the Anxiety Planet. Welcome to Anxiety Planet. Please leave very quickly. Welcome to Dogshitopia.

Everybody sucks here all the time. Do not look at us, for we are ugly. Hello, Commander Riker. This is a lot. I'll be back in like 40 minutes. Hey, Lemon, could you tell us just another difference

between Zeltrons and humans? Yeah, so another difference between Zeltrons and humans was the presence of a second liver, which allowed Zeltrons to enjoy a number of alcoholic beverages.

Oh, sorry, a larger number. So the second liver allowed them to enjoy a larger number of alcoholic beverages than other humanoids. Starting to like these Zeltrons. It was said that Zeltrons tended to look familiar to other people, even if they've never met them. Most Zeltrons were in excellent physical shape, and their incredible metabolisms allowed them to eat even the richest of foods. Oh, that's

cool. So yeah, it's just planet slut. Yep. Achilles Achilles. Yeah. Can you tell me about Hologram Fun World? Hologram Fun World? Come on down. I'm gonna tell you about Hologram Fun World.

I bet they have rad mini golf in the first quarter of 22 BBY a recession in the galactic tourism industry caused a brief plunge in admissions queue lines for the anywhere room which once held thousands of tourists were reduced to at some points less than

400 this fluctuation was apparently due to a general held thousands of tourists were reduced to, at some points, less than 400. This fluctuation was apparently due to a general unwillingness of vacations to travel long distances. Since the majority of HFW's clients came from beyond the core worlds, this caused a huge dip in profits. Income rose once again, though, with the coming of the mid-year

and leveling out of the industry. In Zero ABY, HFW was a secret site of one of the Galactic Empire's project star scream experiments what what transformers now this part of the project produced a device called the nightmare machine two young refugees from alderaan zack and tasha ronda together with her adoptive uncle my mon who disrupted the experiment leo organa solo and han solo had once planned on getting married there great what yep hologram funram Fun World. The perfect destination wedding location. What planetary princess? Ada Bozerth. Yes.

I've given you an instruction in the chat here to read a completely original character. Okay, yes, yes, yes. Fuck you! This exists? God! There he is. So this is a Star Wars character.

I just want to make sure that we all are under the same understanding here. This is a Star Wars character named Don Juan Quijote. How do you spell that, please? Named Don Juan Quijote. Spell that, please. Don, D-O-N, hyphen, W-A-N, Juan. K-I-H-O-T-A-Y, Quijote. It's legally distinct. I think you'll find.

I hate it. He was a forest-sensitive human who served as a librarian on Obra Sky. A fanatic of the extinct Jedi Order, Corrin fantasized about becoming a Jedi Knight and he had much spare time to read their lore and history. And one day he snapped and became Don Juan Quixote, a lightsaber-wielding warrior who genuinely believed he was a Jedi. This sounds good.

This actually sounds like a fun story. Like a guy who's past his prime. This is actually... So he escaped the notice of ISB and he found himself on Aduba 3 where he was a source of amusement for local spacers. Quixote later joined the Starhoppers

of Aduba 3, a ragtag team assembled by Captain Han Solo. Jesus! To defend the township of Anarkara from the cloud riders of Sergi X. Arrogantus. Quixote participated in the defense of the town and even did battle with gargantuan Cispon.

And he later passed away on Talos IV in a medical station when it fell under attack from the bounty hunter Bylert Valance. Valance. Sorry. All right. Let's move on to Perth. I just very, very quickly wanted to shout out a friend of mine named Mark Rendell, whose daughter has a stuffed

donkey, and the stuffed donkey is named Hody. That's all. That's good. We're going to move on to part four of the document, which is called And Sometimes Bat Shit Insane. But Frank West, I want you to take uh I think it's Luke Skywalker yeah so I'm reading a page called Luke Sky oh sorry sorry hold on

Luke Skywalker that's Luke with two U's folks no Star Wars no no so Luke two U's No! So Luke...

It's two U's. Luke Skywalker was a genetic clone of the Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker. Why not Luke Landwalker? Why not Toque Skywalker? You can't change his last name. Toque Skywalker would be way better. Toque Skywalker is very good. Toque Skywalker. would be way better. Skywalker is very good.

Skywalker. Grown from cells extracted from the hand Skywalker lost during his duel with the Dark Lord Darth Vader on Cloud City. Skywalker's hand and lightsaber were recovered by Vader and taken to Emperor Palpatine's Mount Tantus storehouse on the planet Weyland.

In 9 ABY, the insane clone Jedi Master Joroos K'bath performed a mind trick on Admiral Grand- I'm sorry, Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn's subordinate, Captain Gilead Palion, ordering him to make a special clone for him. And children, the clone that later became Luke Skywalker, he was grown in secret from sample B233254. Great. The sorting code assigned to

Luke Skywalker's hand. Whoa! Holy shit! What? The sorting code? It's the very same sorting code! Remember very same sorting code Remember Back in the start of the story When I mentioned

The sorting code Here it is Writing Frank West Lemon has pasted some text he wants you to read Oh sorry Achilles has. Yeah. The clone that Joris Kibath created to test me with

was the fulfillment of my vision in the cave on Dagobah. The reality was no less horrifying than the illusion. Imagine looking at your reflection in the mirror and seeing only an enemy. Luke Skywalker on his personal datapad journal. I can't imagine that. Wow. Can you imagine?

That was fucking ridiculous. Luke Skywalker, by the way, it's a podcast. It's not a visual medium. It's an auditory medium. So I just wanted to say that Luke Skywalker, the drawing that they have here on the wiki is, it's Luke Skywalker, but just with a Hitler mustache. It looks like that's his- I think it's a nose shadow.

That's his shadow. But the lightsaber looks more like a big bat. Yeah. Just like an ogre club um so yeah that was like that was kind of a silly article but i want to let's let's get things serious let's talk about some real history in the in the star wars universe i want to talk about the jet die order oh so you know jedi you know no no no you know about the jedi, but we're going to talk about the Jedi Order. The Jedi Order

was an ancient organization unified by its belief and observance of the force on the planet Tython in the galaxy's deep core. So Star Wars writers can't be fired. Is that accurate? They're just all union. There's just no such thing as being fired?

They're just in a room. Disney just came in and there was just dudes covered in cobwebs writing shit. And they're like, whoa! I thought these were empty. They literally got swept out. Holy shit, that's not one of the props. You're a dude you should probably go

please read I came up with a new cousin for you all the keyboards and the apostrophe keys are rubbed out have I told you about Fook Skywalker he plays flart music Luke Skywalker, he plays plant music.

I have another reference for breasts. And of course, this is all internally consistent, right? Like all of this stuff is internally consistent. He builds a larger universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Focusing on maintaining a balance of the force, a state at which Tython itself was hospitable, the Jedi saw the force as three aspects of the whole.

The Ashla, the light, the Bogan, the dark, and the Bendu, the Bendu balance. They saw this duality, you know how three things make a duality? Yeah. They saw this duality in the force represented in the night sky of Tython in the form of two natural satellites. One bathed in light, the Ashla.

Another shrouded in darkness, the Bogan. How does that work? Jedi who fell too far to either the light or dark were exiled to the opposite moon to mediate, to meditate until they returned to balance. And then it goes on. I'm sure. I'm sure it does. I'm sure. I got really pissed the other day. I'm going to have to go to the other moon.

Wait. Hold on. hold on the Jedi or the surviving on Tython for millennia in isolation from the rest of the galaxy the order was deeply shaken by the arrival of a force hound from the infinite Empire let's not learn anything about that the Sun actually sometimes sets on the Infinite Empire.

It's weird. So Lemon. Oh, yeah. What's up? Tell us about Abeloth. Abeloth. No problem. Well, that's okay.

I got two problems with Abeloth. First of all, no apostrophe anywhere. Secondly. Oh, my God. Oh oh my god like there's only god he's adorable there's only one vowel like like like it just a single e and a single o uh abeloth looks like the looks like a much more adorable version of mr boogie woogie or mr oogie boogie yeah yeah i would say like if Mr. Boogie Woogie existed in the Steven Universe.

I was going hello Kitty, but yeah, yeah. Okay, so Abeloth, also known as the Bringer of Chaos and the beloved Queen of the Stars was a being very powerful in both the dark side of the force and the light side of the force because she drank from the well of power and bath and the light side of the force because she drank from

the well of power and bathed in the pool of knowledge. We hope men there. They're running to each other, huh? Double dipping, yeah. Single corn chips. She first lived as the servant, a mortal woman

who served as the powerful ones on an unknown jungle planet over 100,000 years before the Battle of Yavin. Over the course of her life, she became the mother, colon. She kept the peace between the father's warring son and daughter and became a loving part of the family. But she was still mortal. She grew old while her ageless family lived on and she feared she would lose her precious family in a desperate attempt to hold on to the life she so loved she drank from the font of power so i'm assuming that's like uh probably impact impact probably the font of power

that's the only font joke i'll give you today. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promise. You graced our presence with a single font joke. And bathed in the pool of knowledge. Her actions corrupted her, transforming the mother into the twisted, immortal entity known as Aboloth. When the father discovered her crime, he departed the planet with his children and left Abala stranded. The son and daughter enlisted the help of the Killik, which is kill and then ik. Hives. I lived him in Soulcalibur.

From Alderaan, using them as workers to create massive technological artifacts such as Centerpoint Station and Sinkhole Station. Man, in retrospect, we shouldn't have named it. We really shouldn't have built that there. That's a bad place to build that thing. It's actually adjacent to the sinkhole. We built the station, it sank into the sand. We built another station, it sank into the sand. This article is long.

It sure is. Yeah, and we stopped there because we're running out of time and we haven't gotten into the discussion stuff in this document. This is a sixes wiki I could read instead of this. So part five, King Calamari his title nerds

Bard Simpson that actually would be a funny wiki to make of just like bullshit extended universe Simpsons stuff

that didn't happen Mac-y where do limbs come in in The Simpsons? Yeah, what was their first appearance in The Simpsons? You see, it's the house, and it's also a mill. It's the mill house.

The mill house. He was actually birthed in a mill house. So, part five. Yeah. King Kalamari has titled Nerds talking shit aka the article in the user talk pages okay good uh adam bozarth uh yeah the first one listed here is called uh uh talk luke skywalker slash legends um and i want you to i want you to take uh unsigned comment by TSL3161991. Yes. Whatever happened to Luke Skywalker?

He got his hand cut off, I feel like. Why is it that Luke Skywalker seems to have disappeared from the media? Certainly that is not true. He hasn't been seen in any movies or TV appearances since the 1970s unless you count the scene where Padme gives birth to him and Leia in episode 3

but it seems like Anakin is taking his place in the Star Wars world he stole his look his name, his job and even his prosthetic arm is he even going to show up on the TV or movies again? He's like 65, man. What are you expecting?

Heelys, you're going to take a name I'm not going to read? I'm assuming it's some sort of extended universe name. Actually, you know what? I'm not going to make that joke either, because it still sucks. Yeah. Update Luke Skywalker's

powers and abilities section. I found this comment below. I can't remember were, but it's referring to Luke in the new novels that I have not read and it mentions force powers that are

not in the powers and abilities section on Luke Skywalker's Wikipedia page. Perhaps someone cold update that section, please. Oh, finally, some typos. Someone being 40 bands before some 41. Exactly. Some 41. In the EU, Luke Skywalker can use the Force to move black holes,

dark tide ruin, and rip apart fortresses before the storm. In the Vong War, he took on hundreds of Vong Slayers by himself, the Unifying force despite the fact that the single vong slayer is a match for a skilled jedi knight oh boy um if luke skywalker has enough force power to move a black hole he's god like agreed that's that that's like and Andy ripped apart a fortress. Big deal. He moved a black hole with his mind. Okay, I'll put is God in his powers

and abilities. I'm sorry. Number 43. I'm sorry. God is a different Wookiee periodical. Oh my god. Well, hold on. Is it? Now I gotta know.

Well, let's find out. Hold on. Jesus. What about Jesus? God was a deity recognized by some humans. It's different in the Legends and Canon Universes too.

It is. I is, yeah. I mean, Jesus must exist if there's a Christmas special, right? I can't... Wait, wait, it's in Canon. It's, like, ambiguous if God... God's just someone who's mentioned. Disney's taking God out of our Star Wars, guys. Oh, I can't get behind that.

There is only two sentences in the sex droid article hold on i didn't finish my rambling point about luke skywalker's powers i'm sorry i cede my time okay yep go ahead thank you. And currently Luke is matching the Star Wars equivalent of Cthulhu. Her name is Abeloth, a being who has enough power to melt an entire city of Sith with a

single scream! Fate of the Jedi! We heard about Abeloth. Yeah. Yeah. It's all coming full circle. We've been reading this enough that we recognize a reference. Yeah. It's all coming full circle. We've been reading this enough that we recognize a reference. Looking at notable Star Wars prostitutes. Oh, really?

There's a number of notable Star Wars prostitutes that exist. I think you're beating to understand why this wiki is so good. Is one of them named Fucko? But like with nine K's. Kerfucko.

Frank West, Jet Twilight said a thing to say about Luke Skywalker. My name is Jet Twilight's. Empty feelings. So as we all should know, Luke finally killed Abeloth for good. Or at least for a while.

Hey, spoilers! We just learned about Abeloth like two seconds ago. Let's all pour one out for Abeloth. Pour one out in the pool of knowledge. But in doing so, she punched a hole in his soul or wherever,

whatever the mind-walking makes you. Pure force energy or or wherever, whatever the mind walking makes you. Pure force energy or something. But whatever the case, he can still, oh boy, he can still feel her tentacle in his stomach. Oh, is it tentai now? Whoa. Yeah. Even months after the fight, and he still looks weak. And he's still walking a little funny,

if you know what I mean. I wonder what this means for the future. Perhaps this will lead to his death, or maybe Abloth will try to return through Luke. Lastly, you can't count this as misuse of the talk page because I think we should add that little part about him still feeling her tentacle in his stomach. Not just he was left injured.

I just think we should talk a little bit more about tentacles in stomachs. And I'm allowed to talk about that. And you can't ban me for it again. I'm with you, Jet Twilight. I just want to share some of my drawings about tentacles. Do you want to see my drawings about tentacles? Like tentacle. I don't know share some of my drawings about tentacles. Do you want to see my drawings about tentacles? Like tentacle.

I don't know. Are they legends or canon? Hey, I don't have a name, but boy, do I have an opinion. Oh, good. About Luke Skywalker. Thank God. Chosen one. Luke is the worst fighter ever in the trilogy and quite a poor force user.

I mean, come on. Did you see the fights in the trilogy and quite a poor force user i mean come on did you see the fights in the prequels the difference in skill and grace is explained fairly easily darth vader is a middle age man in a life support suit which also caused him to lose much of his force mastery obi-wan is old and out of practice though he was still younger than qui-gon and dooku and the best reasons i can come up with for him not doing all kinds of flips twists and lunges and killing vader with little effort seeing as how he defeated vader when he was still able-bodied is he either wanted to die which is gay or he had gay yeah pretty gay What? No I'm just with you I agree Thanks for backing me up buddy

Yeah I know All of this makes sense GSEFPL.US We're gonna sell shirts And say wanting to die is gay Or he had not practiced even once since he went into exile. My conclusion is Luke just plain sucks. Luke Skywalker can't fucking flip.

Fucking Nemesis Dave coming back. I never saw his breast once. Is it drama-like? Is he in the extended universe? I mean, just consider what state Vader is in and think that 18-year-old can barely beat and fights with around the same speed as his crippled middle-aged father

who needs a breathing apparatus to live. As for the Force user part, you saw how the Jedi were just pushing, pulling, and throwing crap all over the place in the prequels right i would hope so because if you didn't i would i would consult a doctor you also saw how quickly they pulled the lightsabers to them fucking movies well remember luke in the wampa cave took like what three minutes or so to pull his sabers, opposed to three seconds or less? Another thing, when he entered Jabba's palace in ROTJ unarmed,

which, by the way, has no visible motive, I mean, why didn't he just hack his way in? I know it was in R2-D2, but why? He slowly pushes the Jabba's guard. So, Frank West, when this guy comes at you with these opinions what do you do well I think Goku would win

if Goku was there he'd show them what's what but Goku isn't well I think Goku would win but Goku's not in the canon well I think Goku would win it's probably why they didn't Well, I think Goku would win. It's probably why they didn't put him in, because he'd win. It's just that thing with super nerds where they'll just target somebody that they think will just put up with this.

And then they're like, you know what? My feelings are on Luke Skywalker that everyone walks away with me, Vaughn. Do you know what I think is interesting? Not observing that movies came out after each other time-wise. I don't understand how special effects got better because this story is told out of order. Aren't I interesting? Hello? We all know that movies aren't real, but actually... But what if they were for a second?

Come with me while I complain. So there's a lot in here. Sure is. There's a lot to find out about death. There's just a lot of like pontifications on death. Okay. Lemon. Yeah.

What's up? Okay. You know what your name is. Okay. Lemon. Yeah, what's up? Okay, you know what your name is. Oh! It's good. It's good. Hey, what's up? As we all know, there's a couple of extended universes out there. There's the Star Wars

extended universe. There is also's the Star Wars extended universe. There is also the green jello extended universe. And I am in the intersection of the two. My name is Darth Fisto. Hey, Lemon? Yeah, what's up? So that's that person's username, but here's a real Star Wars character. I just want you to read the name.

From the movies. Okay, so this is a real Star Wars character that actually exists in real life. It's a green alien with the slimy dreadlock things and his name is Kit Fisto. Kit Fisto.

He comes from Alien Glovehands planet. Not to be confused with the Fisto kit that I sell for $29.99 at my store. Anyway, my name is Darth Fisto. I'm the evil Fisto. Actually, it's a Gwar character. I'm sorry. It's a Gwar character.

Okay. One again. This is about the Palpatine merging. We're all familiar. One again, oh, so this is about the Palpatine merging. We're all familiar. Yeah. One again, I hold no position of power in this wiki, which is capitalized. However, you should really stop posting on things telling on users who voted to merge the Palpatine and Sidious pages under Palpatine's talk pages, telling them that their opinion is wrong. People can have opinions.

In the words of Captain Mifune, not everyone believes what you believe. Yeah, Darth Fisto, telling the truth. Oh, that's a Matrix character, apparently. My name is Fade. K-Fan, I might as well post what I said on my own talk page here. Whether or not Palpatine was given the name Sidious early in life, and whether or not Palpatine was his real name,

he continued to rule under the name Palpatine even after he served his purpose as a public face. What are we talking about even? He became the Emperor Palpatine even after the Jedi Order was destroyed. If Sidious wasn't his real name as you say,

then why would he not use that name when he was the Emperor? It sounds... As it stands, Palpatine is the closest thing he has to a real name, and so there's little logic in putting them under his Sith title. Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, but fine. I'm just trying to tell people that they're doing the wrong thing. I know people can have opinions, Thing!

I know people can have opinions, but that doesn't mean I can't persuade them to change their opinions. Oh! You're going to make us all join the Yang gang. Hell yeah! That joke's not going to age well. In a democracy, everyone can speak his or her mind. Personally, I don't care that he kept Palpatine after he became emperor. It has no significance.

Besides, if he called himself Darth Sidious, wouldn't his officers question him first about Darth as it was the same as Vader's? And then if they learned about the Sith? Oh, my God. Which must not be that hard. I mean, they probably still had libraries. And then...

Libraries. They still had libraries. And then the only question is goodness. I'm just trying to make a point what is your point I'm just listen it's just an opinion

what are you talking about there is no more facts to your opinion than there is mine less in fact as I don't think his officers would care about his goodness considering he was a well known tyrant anyway I may be wrong but in the I don't think his officers would care about his goodness considering he was a well-known tyrant anyway.

I may be wrong, but I think in the EU canon, it's fairly common knowledge that Vader is known as the Lord of the Sith. And why wouldn't he just call himself Sidious? No one assumed that this Tyrannus was a Sith without the Darth title. Either way, it wouldn't matter to the people of the time. Sith, Jedi, what's the difference in them except that the Sith brought them the stability and the Jedi tried to destroy the Senate,

as far as they know, providing sources if you are just making assumptions. The evidence we have suggests that Darth Sidious was no more his name than Fade is mine. That's a really good argument that we just got through. It made a lot of sense. What is the Emperor Palpatine's real name?

All right, we've got this one last section in here. This one's very specifically for Frank West. It's called Part 6, Star Wars N are really stupid. Yay! So Frank West, could you please read all of these names?

Yes. I would love to. I love this list! Mongo, Baobab, Fidge, Tadrazin, Barboptimus Drebbel. Wait, wait, wait. Frank West, I have a character note.

I am playing Killer Instinct. I am hitting A on all of these characters. Evar Orbis and his galactic jizz whalers. Yario Poof. Mongo, Beefhead Tribesman. Borsigfaila.

Fafalia. I had a really good Borsigfailia Fafalia I had a really good Borsigfailia the other day, it was delicious Good, good, rolled in the cabbage like a traditional cabbage roll Friend of the show Rudy Boondass Warlord Zinj

Hoban Karasamba Chazwa I get knocked down but I get up again Chazwa sounds like a British YouTuber Proxima

Debo Chinkaduckaloo flute No ad system Oh yeah That's a chrome extension Yinchori flutter pack Oh that's a like deep bitcoin Mining

You haven't even checked the exchange for the Ochoa Futter Pack yet? Jesus, we're going to lose all our money. Master Soon Bates, a.k.a. Jedi Master Bates. You can't get fired writing for Star Wars, man. You cannot get fired. It will not happen.

They will not fire you. Doc Fasser. Barg Oh, this one's bad to say. Barg Will Tomder. Jars Motempe. Alphabet

Squadron. Cool. Alphabet Squadron Cool That's what Google calls their lawyers A-Wings, B-Wings This Summer Amanda's Toy 2 Starring Marka Ragnos and Remulus Draper

in the role of their lifetime. Voker Gefta. These are getting worse. Dathka Grouch. Vulf Karko. Valak Kodank. Darth Mal- Oh no, sorry. I'm pronouncing that wrong.

Darth Malady, but with like an I? That's a George Lucas right there. I will assume the name Darth Malady. Sir, our focus testers actually think we could make it a little nicer if we just sort of put an I at the end. It was sort of cute.

Darth Depressed. Evil, evil, evil, evil. Well, there is one I know. Darth Antagonos. There's one called Darth Plagueis. So. That sucks. Len Marcus.

That's my lawyer. Len Marcus is my lawyer. Darth Gingivitis. Freedon Nad. Yeah, I've done that. It really hurts. Darth Knox. You can get that at the gay bondage stores. It's like a whippet.

Freedon Nad? No, no, no. Darth Knox. Oh, Darth Knox. It's pretty good. It's like 25 secondsippet No no no Darth Knox It's pretty good It's like 25 seconds It fucks you up tomorrow but like it feels pretty good For a while Just whatever you don't get mixed up with the Dark Nyriss Dark Nyriss You take some of that shit

And you're just you actually just Turn evil Thalm Raistra Sores of sin Oh she's dancing this weekend evil. Thalm Raistra. Sorza Sin. Oh, she's dancing this weekend. Darth Eratus.

And then I want to dim the lights here because this is my favorite one. This is my favorite. This is the best one on the list. This is so good. Darth Warlock the list. This is so good. Darth Warlock the third. Yeah. Darth Warlock the third.

Darth Warlock. Son of Darth Warlock Jr. He's a warlock but with three Y's. Warlock. Finally, completing our demolition derby The unstoppable Avamarivash They get their own page in the doc

Dog shit No that's actually not one of the characters There is a dorg shit Most of these characters are dog shit Dog shite And son of the characters. There is a dog shite. Most of these characters are dog shite. Dog shite. And son of the gravedigger. Dracosaurus. All right, F+, what do we think we learned tonight?

So much. Actually, an awful lot. I think this was a rare time when I got to teach because it's been a real joy watching them and experience all this I just relearned that Wikipedia is still one of my favorite websites

on the internet it's so fucking good yeah yeah yeah I got three things that I learned I got three things that I learned okay number one is how much I can drink in an episode. Cool. Because, yeah, so I have sort of a little low ball of rye, and this is my third one.

It's a lot. This wiki is written with a singular voice. And it's a singular voice that like, you know, the talk pages or whatever, but like, but like the actual wiki articles themselves, there's one impression that they're trying to get, which is that,

which is that the entire universe collapses. All of humanity's achievements, all of the Carl Sagan's like gold records have burned up. There's nothing left. And the only thing that we want you to know to the people that come a million years later to find us is that there was a universe called Star Wars and here's what feet were like.

Like, it doesn't assume anything. it doesn't assume that you know anything it's just like it's just like you're coming in without any concept of like food or like sex or religion or language and the only thing that i need you to know is that emperor Palpatine fucking crunk-knuck the bullshit? Like, that's the only thing that I need you to know. And the third thing is that, you know, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow with a different opinion. For right now, I am a fan of military conscription. Fuck it. Go to war.

I learned that Max Rebo is his stage name. Oh, really? Yeah. His real name is C. Rulli Infantili, and he's actually skinny for an ortolan.

That's good to know. Fantilly, and he's actually skinny for an Ortolan. Oh. Okay. That's good to know. Yeah. That's good to know. You got those big fingers to play his mood organ. Yeah, he plays the mood organ. What a waste of time.

I can't believe how crappy everything is and how like there's just a level of quality that's missing I'm sorry I do not like Star Wars at all like I think it is it is the least good

thing that is said in space yep agreed with that I totally agree with that it's just garbage. No, no, no, no. It's above Firefly. It's better than Firefly. I can't believe that both

Beaux-Arts and Lemon just came out as fans of Cleopatra 20... 27? Hell yeah! Cleopatra 25, 25. First of all, she is beautiful. And secondly, it was just a fun, rompy set in New Zealand. Actually, she is beautiful. And secondly, it was just a fun, rompy, set in New Zealand. Actually, that is true.

I was trying to do a burn, but that was the worst thing I could think of that wasn't Star Wars. And I was like, that's actually not that bad. It's pretty good. I mean, the only thing bad was that they had the shitty theme song, which was, In the year 2525. I think we're back in the talk pages, guys. I don't know. 2525 I think we're back to the talk pages guys

I don't know So if you want somewhere you can go To discuss Cleopatra 2525 You should come to the ball pit Talk pages of the internet Is there Cleopatra 2525 Wikipedia? Like a wiki Like it's own wiki site

Probably yeah What is the jack of all trades That's probably got it's own you think dark horse comics has like extended universe uh cleopatra 25 25 issues not we'll write them uh there will by the time you listen to this episode if there are coloring books available here's one of the things that I will tell you. They are going very fast. And they are... I love the F Plus hoodies. I love the F Plus hoodies.

They're great. They're comfortable. They're wonderful. I think the coloring books are the best thing that we've ever done, like, merch-wise. It's fantastic. Take that cassette tape with my butt on it. Good point, good point, good point. take that cassette tape with my butt on it but yes the calling book is fantastic the artists that have provided to it which are sanguinary novel king calamari

nope not sanguinary novel but king calamari sauce you got a par tax page in there you got a couple lemon pages in there oh no I started and now I have to finish this. Shit. Sorry. Shit.

Fuck. Spooks. Bozarth is in there. Bozarth is in there. Spooks. Did I say Spooks? Spooks is in there. Spooks, yeah.

The Spooks pages are so fucking good. Yeah. There's a thing where there's like this page where it's like two different, like you color it in and it's like a cater Buxton, um, uh, like, like coloring page, but then they're two identical drawings.

But then if you color them in differently, it makes a different drawing. It's yeah. It's fucking nuts. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking nuts. It's wonderful.

Spooks at his best. And, uh, thanks for listening. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Remember that there's at least Spooks at his best. And thanks for listening. Bye! Goodbye. Goodbye. Remember that there's at least one dog in Anchorhead. See you next time, Star Warriors. I'm on the page for fingers that says this article is about the Zabrek animal trainer

you may be looking for the common body part you might be we didn't read feet. What's going on with feet? Okay, there's got to be feet in there, right? I hope so. No, there's feeding spike and fluid sack,

but there's no feet. Oh, foot. Here we go. Oh, it's not in the anatomy bag. It's the measurement of length. There's no common body part, though. That takes you to limb, though. I did see football show up, so hold on. Oh.

Wait, what? No. A popular sport at the time of the Clone Wars. The Energizer Bunny was a small male lagomorph-like creature. Oh, my God.