The F Plus - 323: Do The Dishes, Charles

Episode Date: May 20, 2020

The Redditors on r/BadRoommates are frustrated by their roommates. Why? Well, they'd like to tell you, but that would require a familiarization with the English language far greater than any of them are capable. But the roommates have been warned! This week, The F Plus has a Sour Daddy.

Oh shit! I don't know why I always try to do that because it's always a bad idea. Oh no! I wish we kept all those for a supercar. Duck and cover! I just like to go back

to time and think about this a lot more. One hour supercar. Oh, hi. I didn't see you over there. This is the F Plus podcast. A magical place for terrible things. Oh, hi. I didn't see you over there. This is the F Plus Podcast. A magical place for terrible things. Rev enthusiasm.

I never heard you read them with boots, Rain Gear. My roommate in the summer got addicted to coke and started climbing buildings. My roommate in the summer got addicted to coke and started climbing buildings. Bunny bread. Single white male seeks out 40 to 50 female roommates to fuck. Frank West. Is it bad to be a whore when living with roommates? Squiddy.

I have bad feelings about this Airbnb guest turned potential roommate. Thoughts? Your friend on the internet's name is Adam Bozarth. My roommate came out in her bra and underwear, noticed I had a guest, and ran back into her room, put a scarf around her neck, and came back out and asked for a lighter. We said we didn't have one, so she returns to her roommate muttering something

about doing it redneck style and comes back with a joint. And lemon. That's vagina. And not normal either, and possibly a health hazard. As I own a vagina. It's vagina. And not normal either. And possibly a health hazard. As I own a vagina. It's a turn to see your emergency. Your emergency.

Your emergency. And cut out. And stop. Cut out. Hey, F+. Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. All right.

All right. All right. So here we are. Here we are again in this recording. You know, still in our COVID lockdown. How is your home situation working out for you? Yeah. Great. There's so many people here.

Yeah. Yeah. What sort of people you got over there, Frank West? There's Cool Guy. There's all the hot chicks. Say hello. Hey! We love you, Frank West! You're the big dick!

Stationary Voyagers. They're always talking. I feel like I've been in all of my rooms now. Okay, because having such a sprawling mansion you haven't had no it's a it's it's a tiny house i've just never left this room this one's got my computer in it what the fuck who cares

i eat here i piss here i just why do i need to go to the book room it also has a computer got bucket. No porn in the basement, why bother? Well, maybe not in yours. Frank West, what do you consider porn? That is a different document. The stuff that was left in the in the crawl space by his older brother.

It's still curled up in his ringer-morded face. Is he still up there? How's he doing? So that would be a fun first-person horror game. So that would be a fun first-person horror game. But we're going to move on to, I guess, podcasts. Why the fuck not? So we're looking at a site called r slash bad roommates.

That's right. It's another Reddit community, everybody. Yay. It's another Reddit community in a document by Mix. I mean, to be fair, it's a pretty good place for atrocity tourism in general. So, yeah, r slash Bad Roommates, it's got

53,000, 53.9 thousand members, 263 of them are online right now, and its description is thus, give us your tales of bad roommates. The gross, the annoying, the psychotic. And if you have the solution to bad roommates, please let us know.

Not gross enough for you? Try r slash gross roommates too. The solution is a living wage. I love that somebody would be like, this is, oh, I just wish it was grosser. I just want grosser things. Yeah, I'm kind of bait and switch here, fellas. That's when you need to check out r slash neckbeard nests. Ooh.

Ooh. I can tell that sounds tired. Bunny Brad, can you tell me about a sex addict, please? No, I cannot. Your name is Deadhead1979. Oh, that's not me. Jesus. Getting into this shit at the proper time right now.

That is a cop handle if I've ever heard of it. Thought this was quite the trap. Keep on truckin' one, two, three. Do you know where I can score illegal drugs? I thought this was quite the trap. Keep on truckin' one, two, three. Do you know where I can score illegal drugs? Hey, hey, man. Hey, what's up? How you doin'? Okay for now.

Okay. So what? I don't know. I guess read a post. Why not? Nah. Okay, bye. So what? I don't know. I guess read a post. Why not? Nah. Okay, bye.

All right. This is my first year in college housing after living at home with my parents the first couple years, right? The college is a small private one. I mean, fill out a compatibility questionnaire to try and match me up with the best possible roommate. Okay. Good match game. All right. I have no idea how this dude filled his questionnaire out, but we are anything but compatible.

The first thing I found out about him is that he loves his online porn. You know, it's like no other dude I've ever met. He likes porn. I wonder why he didn't put that on his question. It's weird. Cause they had a specific question. I thought about that.

Interests. One to five how much you like your online porn. Porn. Yeah. Porn online or off. He's on it every night. Straight porn, gay porn, fetish porn. He likes it all.

He likes his speakers turned on full volume. You're living with hedonism, robot. Speakers turned on full volume. You're living with hedonism, robot. I asked him to put on earphones, but he claims they give him migraines. I mean, that's believable. You know, it happens, man. After three weeks of me complaining,

I at least got him to keep the volume down to a level where I can barely hear it when I'm in the room, which isn't much anymore. Then, of course, there is that thing that guys like to do while watching porn. What? What's that? Hang on. I got diagrams. Remix it. No, no. Come up with better titles.

You keep guessing, though. That'll help. Spend years on a website of titles yeah no no and although he thinks he's being um discreet if that is a real word by keeping his back to me while sitting at his desk doing oh god what he's got the porn on. I thought a door was at least involved. Oh, no. Oh, no. The door is his back. This is like mental illness.

When is he going to start flinging his hijack? Oh, it's right after Clarice shows up. He actually buries his head in the sand when he masturbates. Did I mention he was an ostrich? All right. So he keeps his back to me while sitting at his desk while doing the deed, right? So it's pretty obvious what he's doing. He's wearing his bathrobe and doing it under the robe, but dude,

really? Wow. The first time he did it... I'm imagining the dude right now. Yeah, bathrobe. See, I was thinking like a velour bathroom, just like a real sort of like classy, shiny thing. Or like a hotel one, like a really fluffy white one.

He's got like a bubble cigar, no, a bubble pipe in his mouth. And maybe like his hair wrapped up in a turban like he just washed it. Nice. All right, I'll go in a different direction. We went first class hotel now.

I just tried my best to ignore him. Then after a couple of minutes, I just got up and went to the lounge without saying a word. Who are we talking to now? I said something, and basically his reply was, you can't see me doing it, so what's the big deal? Every guy does it. Yep, yep, yep.

Checkmate. It's like you can drink alcohol in a paper bag. It's fine. You can't see it. Then there are the hookups. Mostly it's with other guys. His rebuttal is to deny object permanence. Schrodinger's

cat, dude. Prove I'm jerking off right now. You can't see exactly where my hand is. I just learned that shit, and it proves that you can't see me do this. Yeah. I took a freshman psych class on that. All right. Mostly, it's without the guys.

Occasionally, girls, though. The first time was really embarrassing. I have two afternoon classes right in a row. I got to my second class, and there was a note on the door. Class canceled. So, I head back there was a note on the door. Class cancelled. So I head back to the room, open the door, and there my roommate and another guy are lying in his bed wearing nothing but their smiles and making out.

They were smiling while making out. I am envisioning some grinning making out people. Yeah, that's tough to do. Have you ever tried that? Just two masks from The Purge. Yeah, the Joker is just like, yeah. The other guy flipped out and left immediately. And my roommate is all pissed off.

So we decided on the old rubber band on the doorknob sign. Rubber band, okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Nobody has neckties anymore. Or socks, yeah. We wear rubber bands on our feet. In the past six weeks, I'd brought him back to the room probably seven or eight times

only to see that rubber band on the doorknob. One night, I hear the door open like at 2 a.m. and hear him come in, get undressed, and climb in bed. I had my back turned to him and was half asleep, masturbating, of course. Then, a couple seconds later, I hear whispering, followed by sheets rustling.

I turn my head and look, and sure enough, there's some guy in bed with him! I just pretended to sleep and put up with it for about 20 to 30 minutes until the other guy left. That's happened a couple of times now. Talking to him is useless. He honestly thinks he is doing nothing wrong.

Good day. My name is doing nothing wrong. Good day. My name is Marquis Alex. Is there nothing that the people who administrate your housing can do? What do you got there, Redheads1979? Well,

I actually talked to the RA back when I was complaining to him about the volume being up on his computer while he watches porn. And after the RA confronted him, that's when he started turning the volume down. Oh, so baby steps. As far as his daytime hookups, the RA said he can't do much about that. As guests are allowed in the dorms during daytime hours. Are you an RA, sir? I just like the RA's like,

he can fuck anybody he wants in your presence. I can't make him stop that. You're being unreasonable. He thought you were going to be a class. Yeah. The nighttime hookups have been with a couple of other guys actually living in the dorm.

And they think they're being so discreet about it I don't think they do actually I think they're enjoying having Somebody in their space with them They've been ejaculating on my back Recently but I think that was just being coy This is a Christian college And all the students do have to sign

A dorms clause Well now this is a Brazzers video series. But it is never enforced by the school. The last time we talked about this situation, he said I was a prude and really needed to lighten up. I'm like, come on, dude. I spent 17 years of my life.

This guy's got some balls to go to a Christian college. Masturbate in front of his roommate and be like, you're a prude, man. You can't see it, so you can't prove he has balls. What is a Christian college, masturbate in front of his roommate and be like, you're a prude, man. Well, you can't see it, so you can't prove he has balls. What the fuck, man? What is a Christian college all about? I spent 17 years of my life

sharing a room with my older brother, who was anything but a saint. But we respected each other's space and each other's privacy. If my brother or I felt the urge to masturbate, he went to the bathroom. We didn't just pull it out and do it with the other person

in the room. And yes, we talked to each other about masturbating and our other sexual adventures, so it's not like I'm coming from some sheltered world. It's not like I went to a Christian college or anything. Hell, I even experimented with other guys in high school. It is a Christian college, probably. I told my

roommate all of this, and he's like, So? I don't see if that's fucking bugging you. It's kind of a great negotiator. Well, I am going to a Christian college, you guys, because this is really exciting. It sounds good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Am I following up? No, no, I think we're going to move on. But there's more posts here. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I think we're going to move on. But there's more posts here. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I think you should. Okay. All right, all right. What's up, guys?

Deadhead1979 back. Got a jacket in my eyes. Follow-up. Saturday, I lost it and really blew up at him. I got back from the football game, was soaking wet from walking back from the stadium in the rain, and the rubber band is on the door. So I knock, and I shout that I'm coming in because I'm soaked and need to change clothes.

You're just making him harder. Yes. I hear, just a second. Then walk in, and there's two other guys in there with him. My roommate is just wearing his filthy bathroom. Are they also in the bathroom? Yes, they're all on top of each other. They're trying to be adults who sneak into a movie.

My roommate is setting off firecrackers. I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Fuck Ass. One of the guys is butt-ass naked, and the other is just wearing one of my T-shirts that was in my dirty clothes hamper. I think these guys don't respect you very much. I'm beginning to feel that way as well. There's a cafeteria tray on my desk

with a razor blade, a rolled-up doorbell, my desk with a razor blade, a rolled-up doorbell, and remnants of white powder on it. Oh, man. What a football game. I recognized

one of the other guys, the naked one. He lives two floors up from us, doesn't wear clothes. I recognized him immediately. The dude in my t-shirt still had a hard-on and kept playing with it. What the fuck is this, Colin?

So anyway, I'm into cocaine now. My bed? This. My bed was all messed up. I tell the two guys to get dressed, grab their shit,

and get the hell out of my room. The second they left, I tell the two guys to get dressed, grab their shit, and get the hell out of my room. The second they left, I started screaming at my roommate. For why? So loud that within a couple of minutes, the RA was pounding on our door. The RA told my roommate. Slap my face and call me a fag. Called me a bitch and said

to suck his dick this is bang lounge the RA told my roommate that was strike two this campus

has a strike three gang bang in front of your roommate policy well the first gang bang doesn't count if there's no cocaine I think the strike zone is a little too small yeah I swear to god I made it don't make me say it I'm telling you one more time

I'm not going to tell you again don't make me watch you finish one more strike and he gets kicked out of the dorm. So success! I win! All he has to do is commit murder and he's out. Take the last one, actually, because I think he's learned his lesson, your roommate. It sounds like it.

Oh, so here it is, finals week. And the last week I have to deal with this idiot. He actually skipped two of his final exams because what the hell? I know I'm going to flunk and wipe. You're succeeding at life, bud. The man that never changed out of his bathrobe is going to fail out. He probably put a condom on at some point. He takes it off sometimes.

Two weeks ago, he was told by student housing that if he was staying another semester and finishing out the year, he would have to find off-campus housing, as he is no longer welcomed in the dorms. Well, after skipping two final exams, I can say he ain't coming back. This past weekend really took the cake. Prepare yourselves. He was pleading with me Saturday night to leave the room so he could have a friend over. What?

A friend? The last week? What? What's he gonna do, set it on fire? The friend, yeah. I had finals to study for and flat out refused to leave. So what does he do?

Takes one of his bedsheets and tacks it to the ceiling in front of his bed so I can't see anything. He showed me his friend. Push tacks? Like, that is the most unrealistic thing in this whole

story, is that push tacks would hold a sheet to the ceiling for any amount of time. 30 or 40. Are you okay? His friend showed up, flat out refused to do anything if I was in the room, and ends up getting in a huge argument with my roommate. Oh, cock block. What the hell?

I'm the worst. Can't you just ball with him for just a minute? Come on. I am an asshole. My parents told me the same thing. My pastor told me that as well. I'm an asshole. What's going on in your life, Frank West? Hey, I'm

annoyed giraffe. Lazy-ass roommate. She never cleans, but, okay, hold on. She never cleans, but instead goes on sites like FetLife. That's a

binary choice. And has these weird sissy boy types come over and do her share of the cleaning well then that's she just outsourced her own job it's fine like oh no like really feminine guys dressed in maid outfits it's highly disturbing and she just sparks orders at them. I'm hoping this is like an enormous quantity of them. They have their own maid outfits?

Like over the course of the time that these people spent in the same place, it would have been like 30 different guys. There's just like always three sissy maids around. Morning, Glenn. Morning, Carl. We'd really just like her

to do her own share of the chores and not have strangers over. So we made a rule that during cleaning day no one can have guests over. Oh, damn. This is our cleaning day.

I mean, first of all, first of all, if you wanted your house cleaned efficiently, I feel like a sissy boy maid probably is going to do a pretty good job, right? He's not going to argue. Clean enough that he will eat off it. And you don't have to pay him.

In fact, he probably pays you. I really like that they made a rule that nobody gets that. Not targeting anybody, just new house rule. This isn't about anyone specific. And the only time cleaning happens is cleaning day. Cleaning day? Is it May already? But our other disabled roommate has a caregiver who she does need to assist her, and she tried

to make the caregiver leave if her sissy boy had to leave. Wow. It's like her emotional support pet. Yeah. Wait. Are those two different people? boy had to leave. Wow. It's like her emotional support pet, yeah. Wait, they... Are those... Emotional support sissy. Do two different people have clean-up sissy boys? No. No, the other one has an actual...

The disabled roommate has a caregiver. Oh, yeah. Well, if you get a caregiver, I get to do my fetish. I get my emotional sissy boy, yeah. I have to take him on a plane as well, or else I freak out. That's some good lawyering. Uh, Squiddy, how are things going with your roommate okay hold up oh god i don't like it because it says oh no what i'm about to read oh no so first of all what's your name it be it be like that man

sometimes sometimes it be like that sometimes it do be no you don't like it it's a reddit thing you hate it I hate it I'm so angry by it

thank you so am I a girl or you. I feel more. So, am I a girl or a boy? I must be a boy. That's okay. I'll still use the girl voice. I don't know which one you're doing. Oh, you have a girl voice?

Is it like Frank West's? Probably. I was doing my girl voice. Okay. My roommate starts undressing me Sounds great I never finishes the job This last semester at college I was stuck with the weirdest dude

I think I'm a dude too. Okay. Let me start over. Oh yeah, do dude voice. Okay. Roommate starts undressing me. So, this last semester of college, I was stuck with the weirdest dude. I could go on about him for ages, and I probably

will sometime. But this was the weirdest thing ever. One day, I came home from classes, went to my room, and I was just chilling. I fell asleep on accident, and I was still wearing all my clothes from my jacket down to my shoes.

I wake up about 45 minutes later to him untying my shoes. What? That's assault. Excuse me. Those are fresh air jordans sir don't touch my yeezys i freaked out dude what are you doing twitchy replied oh sorry i didn't think you would wake up okay fair enough he's a lawyer which to me sounds an awful lot like sorry i didn't think i'd get caught well he did not use those exact words i don't think there was really a sorry implicit

he was already creepy dude but this was just weird i asked him where he was planning on stopping if it was just my shoes or if he was planning on putting me in my PJs and tucking me in. What's next, my socks? He didn't say anything. Now, I wouldn't be weirded out if a family member or a close friend was trying to take my shoes off, you know what I mean? A close friend? While I was sleeping. But I barely knew this kid a month, and we definitely weren't friends.

While I was sleeping. But I barely knew this kid a month and we definitely weren't friends. He invited me to be his roommate this next semester too, but I politely told him I was planning on living somewhere else. Not if you're still doing that shoe thing. Adam, what do you got there?

I am Mary Posakaby. Sure. Hold a copy. Mariposa KB. Sure. Hold a copy, yeah. Mariposa KB Toys. And opposite roommate equals horrible idea. Good point, good point.

I'm 24F, and my four-year-old friend, 27... What? He's a vampire, damn it. Just figure it out. Friends can come in all ages. I'm 24F, and my four-year-old friend, 27M. Oh, his name is 27M. It's a four-year-old friend, 27M. He had hippie parents, named him weird. It's short for 27 meters.

He allowed me to be his roommate. For the six months I was in between places. He is super nice and generous and I feel like an asshole when I get annoyed with him, but it's getting to be too much. The most annoying one is he won't give me personal

place. Comes into my room. He won't give me his place won't give me personal place comes into my room his place every time he goes home from work and says hi and leaves my door open when most of the time i go in there to get alone time and try not to talk to him he also found out i come home on my lunch break from 11 to 12 and i know he never used to take a lunch break because he would talk before i moved in and he said he never takes one because he likes to get off work an hour earlier and now he takes one every day and comes and meets me at the house where to where i leave and i say it took an early and i go walk around target or something. He also uses my toothpaste and it

runs out so fast and I have to always get a new tube every two weeks. He even used my loofah. With the toothpaste? That's why it's running out so fast. The reason I know this is because he is losing hair and it's all over the bathroom

which is also disgusting but I went to use my loofah the other day and his short hairs were all over it stuck inside so I went jerking off with her loofah so I went and I bought myself a new pink one and it's

and said it's mine and he can't use it he also used to leave the door open while he peed I told him to stop and that freaked me mine and he can't use it. He also used to leave the door open while he peed. I told him to stop and that freaked me out and it was beyond rude. So he shuts the door now. Every time I'm eating, he comes in and he says, do you like it?

And it's the most irritating question. Do you like it? Do you like food? How's that eating treating you? Are you eating something you like or something you don't like? Yeah. I made it with extra toothpaste. I'm doing it.

It's just that he left in the sink. He comes in and he says thank you like I'm doing it to be kind to him, but really it's disgusting. He leaves his dishes in the sink. I've told him all of this. It bothers me. He drinks every night, and he gets so weird when he drinks he tries to rub my feet and stuff calls me honey i said leave the house i have to leave

the house and he gets upset i didn't invite him out and i feel like he's breathing over my shoulder 24 7 there are tons of weird things my roommate does but the one that really ticked me off was about 10 minutes ago i'm watching friends on the couch in the living room and he comes in and starts playing his video phone game next to me and i can see him keep looking over at me at the out of the corner of his eye and i just ignore him so he goes into the bathroom and he grabs something he walks to the front door and he says i'll be right back i. I asked, where are you going? He said, I'm just going outside to shave with a little laugh.

Is this normal? No. No. I said he was doing something to get my attention. It's 8pm at night. Who goes out in the front yard to shave their face? Am I overreacting?

Yes. How am I supposed to grow beard trees, dude? He really is a nice guy and I just get so annoyed and I almost feel like I shouldn't be, but I totally am. Hey, everybody. What's up?

My name is Gulag for Brits. Oh, no. uh, hey everybody. Uh, hey Reddit. Uh, my name is Gulag4Brits. Ooh, oh no. Oh god. Oh no. No thank you. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be likable, I'm sure. Uh, Gulag4Brits, hey y'all, first post here, my furry roommate found out. Huh?

Yeah, let's dig right into it. My furry roommate found out my Reddit a while ago, but here's hoping that he doesn't stalk my post history again. Good, good idea. Here we go. Excellent. Anyways, as a preface, currently I'm in my first year of college at a pretty decent and rather pricey flight school.

It's a college, but it has a program for professional pilot major. I live in a floor that's fellow aviation students, so the idea is that we all kind of study and bond together to help us through the program. And it's historically low graduation rates, so it's supposed to help, I believe. So, therefore, all my roommates are aviation students as well. It's four of us in a four-bedroom suite. This is where the story starts. And I hope it kicks off better than it started.

Way too many details. Oh, my God. Wow. So, when I first met my roommate, I already knew from his Facebook that I saw before that that he was a furry. None of us roommates knew each other, and we're all relatively new and inexperienced pilots that are from the area. Neither of us knew each other. I'm just going to say that over and over again. Who knows how many times I'm going to say that?

But we all gave it a go, and we hung out a fair amount at first. For the most part, I got along with my furry roommate at first, but it didn't take long for him to start talking about his furry lifestyle. What? What? A furry who talks about being a furry all the time? Okay. Alright. I guess so. Alright. A lot of conversations quickly

went the way of, my dad is a pilot, so he can pay for all of my education here. Or, if this doesn't work out, I can always fall back on my 2K subs on YouTube. 20, 20. 20K subs. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

20,000. That's at least $200. $200? Once. Nothing too odd at first. The guy was 20 and had taken a year after graduating high school, but who am I to judge? I just figured he was trying to impress me,

but it takes a long time for things to be kind of strange. Ooh, the monster bash. My roommate had been pretty successful at YouTube, as I already mentioned, but he loved to record every single thing he did when school actually started, would post all about it on his other vlog channel. I wasn't too annoyed by this until he started following me around campus at random

to record me for his vlogs without any warning or asking for it, and then posting it without any notice onto his YouTube channel. Well, where the fuck did you think it was going if he started filming you? Just, you know, if it wasn't going for his YouTube channel, it would be worse. It's just the personal use of it. Yeah, this is a best case scenario here. Frank West, would you like a legal fact? Yes.

Okay. He always loved to inform everyone that in Washington, it's perfectly legal to record without consent. Okay. How many more personal details can this person put into this? It's making a documentary about the UC, it's fine. Washington is known as the YouTuber state. It's on license plates. He's a pap documentary about the AC. I actually know their last name at this point. Washington is known as the YouTuber state. Yeah.

It's on license plates. He's a paparazzo. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. One of the policies out of school that was actually no recording in aviation class and seemed like a pretty do-or-die scenario. I believe it was about a month into classes, and one day he decided to wear his fursuit to every one of his classes. He not only wore it, but actively tried

to engage everyone he saw who appeared uncomfortable. We don't know for sure. It's like how a cat knows who hates cats in a room and they go to that person. Guess what this hole's for. Is it for your penis which is also sticking out?

No, no, this one. This one specifically. It's not just for fun, it's also a sex thing. Oh, okay. Skippity-skip, r slash yiff and hell. I apologized in person for... I said mean things to him. I just yelled at him.

I apologized in person for my comments, but he won't talk to me. And afterwards, I awkwardly acted like nothing happened. He continued to record furry videos around campus and would randomly include me in them sometimes without asking. It never really got any better. It got to the point where it invited his furry friends out to the dorm, which I didn't mind too much at first.

It was only really because I like seeing my roommate have some actual friends and not just playing Minecraft all day. Oh, he's patriarchal. But quickly, these guys would take out furniture, use my dishes without asking, fill the sink with dirty dishes, never clean it, yell and laugh at steven crowder till 3 a.m frank last uh steven crowder appears to be someone on youtube with five subscribers so i don't think i think it's a misspelling of steven crowder this guy knows

steven crowder i think this person doesn't know who um you know, famous YouTube fascist Steven Crowder is. Oh, I don't think I know that one. I think he's the guy who went to campuses with the thing that's like, feminism is bad, change my mind. Oh. I believe that's him. Oh, Crowder. C-R-O-W-D-E-R.

Crowder, not Crowter. Crowder. Crowter. He made it-O-W-D-E-R. Crowder, not Crowter. Crowder. Crowter. He made it more Nazi-ish. Exactly. Anybody listening to this, don't tell YouTube what I said. This is a bit of a personal grudge, but besides being all the creepy recording and absolute sloppiness with no effort to improve for the sake of other roommates, he's also one of the laziest students I have ever seen. It's academia that bothers me.

What about his videography career? Is he a TA? His dad is an Ireland pilot So he never Prioritizes his Flight lessons And he always Takes weekends off

Catching up on Lessons to take A discounted flight From To somewhere random In the US For a new Furry convention

All of this Comes at the expense Of frequently Missing class Why is that The thing that Bothers me the most Nearly being kicked out

Missing required Flight labs That should be Prioritized much Much more After all this Neglection Okay Sure Yeah being kicked out and missing required flight labs that should be prioritized much, much more. After all this neglection, he still has

the audacity to talk to me about how rigged and unfair the program is. He wants the school to sue the school for costing him flight lessons and keeping him potentially on track with the rest of the students. This is a program that requires a lot of dedication. I'm so boring.

Why do we talk about flight school so much? Why am I so boring? Why is your roommate telling you so much? You're not going to get subscribers that way, motherfucker. Yeah, Jesus. Fuck it. I'm bored of myself. Let's move on to the Tales of Crazy Charles

Boots, why don't you take this one, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm Journeyman42 Okay And this is the Tales of Crazy Charles Alright, boys and girls Let's listen to a tale A tale of Crazy Charles.

Not his real name. Presented for the approval of the Midnight Society. Wait, the title made me think there was going to be more than one tale. I met Charles through a mutual friend when I moved away from my parents' house into an apartment into a much larger city. The rent was decent. I pay $350 a month for a room and a two-bedroom, and the location was great, right in the heart of

downtown. Downtown what? Fuck you. Downtown Charles. Downtown Charles. Charles seemed like a decent guy at first, and lo and behold, his inner douche was unleashed Charles was very muscular and into bodybuilding

Charles was being muscular and into bodybuilding so he walked without his shirt on all the time even in winter he also hit on literally every single girl he encountered and needless to say hooked up a lot he had three girlfriends

i did finger quotes there i don't know if you could tell yeah at the same time i i don't mind but all of them and him were very were very vocal while fucking does this guy still not know my name was charles like i told him several times what my actual name was. He still insisted upon calling me Charles throughout the whole semester. I'm fucking you. And they're all like, oh, Charles, not your real name. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I would give him fake names, but never Charles. Jesus Christ.

Okay, so I didn't mind. But all of them and him were very vocal about fucking. I had to tell him to move his bed to a different location in the room because the headboard of his bed. How much space did you have? How could that have helped? Were they on top of you? They were held against the shared wall between his room and mine while he was fucking her for hours on end. Charles, if you're going to make her crawl the walls, can it not be the shared wall, please?

Thank you. Could you at least go to the shared wall, please? Thank you. Could you at least go to the windows and stay there? I'm sorry, I've got a python. And the sweat's dropping from your balls. It's disgusting. Mop that shit up. Everywhere, Charles.

The apartment itself was a dump and he refused to help clean or do dishes. I feel like dishes is a common denominator here. So crazy. I moved all of my dishes to my room so he couldn't use them and the sink became permanently clogged with dirty ass dishes. I washed mine in the bathroom sink.

He got a... My ass dishes clean. He got a Papa Sun chair from somewhere It's a Papa Sun chair And instead of using it as a chair Hung the base upside down From the ceiling as some kind of Chandelier

He Listen The worst of all He nailed H.R. Giger posters On the walls. Were they wicker Giger? It's easier than mirror ceiling on. I just assumed.

One day into our living arrangement, he found a big ass TV on Craigslist. One of those massive 48 inch CRTs that some older lady was getting rid of. That is a huge CRT. That is a huge CRT. That is a huge CRT. That's like a 400-pound television. Yeah, I think he's gonna buy it to lift it. We drove out to the suburbs to get it, had to

haul the big-ass thing up a flight of stairs, and then try to put it into my potty at Grand Am, which means to say it didn't have a lot of cargo space. God damn it, nerdlier. Stop acting like you carried your weight, your share of the weight there. He had a buddy pick up the TV in a truck,

which why he didn't ask him earlier, I don't know. I just have so much free time to fuck around with this bullshit. Apparently. I do. I did. I'm not even saying that sarcastically.

You're on Reddit. And haul it to our apartment. I made the mistake of getting an audio receiver for the TV so we could have better audio which Charles used to blast shitty rap music at 120 decibels at all hours of the day. Wow, this guy's

crazy. He got you, man. That's crazy. What a crazy guy. This is the craziest story in the day. Wow, this guy's crazy. He got you, man. That's crazy. What a crazy guy. This is the craziest story in the document. I purchased a decibel reader so I could prove it to the authority. Wait, I want to see how loud

that is. His response to when I asked him if he wanted to listen to loud music, why he didn't use headphones was because headphones hurt my ears. See? They give me migraines. So I had to endure his shitty music blasting from the living room, and my room was directly next to the living room. He also plugged his laptop into the audio receiver with a headphone jack, which led to such lulzy moments as when he tried to have a quiet conversation with his mom over Skype about how he knocked up some girl.

Only for her voice to boom out like God was speaking to him. Charles, did you hit that? He couldn't afford his own apartment uh but he went to fucking boxing lessons yeah this is yeah uh even though he was creeped out by the muslim boxing instructor uh he had rage issues he went to the same tech school as i did as a graphic designer although his artwork was amazingly bad me the cat pissed on his uniform uh something else about my grand dam sorry but what was the last draw what was the last draw

the last draw was one night I went out to the orchestra I love classical music oh my god how were you two not getting along better now Charles I'm going to the orchestra tonight as he flips his scarf up I'm going to the orchestra tonight. As he flips his scarf up. I'm going to leave the apartment in your care.

Unclog the sink of those dishes, Charles. Anymore! What were you saying? I was fucking the dishes. I love classical music, and the local orchestra was playing Beethoven's Third Symphony. As I was dressing up...

Fucking... You dressed up, I hope. Fuck you. As I was dressing up, Charles asked to come along, and not thinking, I invited him. He thought orchestra was orgy.

Those empty seats at the orchestra. Going to concert. You got to go fuck some drums. He got word of the concert halfway through, played around on his cell phone, texting one of his fuck buddies, and hit on chicks during the intermission. I was pissed. He singled her over my lap during the performance. That was the last straw, but here's the single most WTF moment. Classic music always get you horny, babe.

It was literally the weekend before I moved out. Charles, I'm complaining. Whatever. Charles, one of his fuck buddies' girlfriends, slash girlfriends, I guess. Okay. And her friend were getting drunk, and his fuck buddies girlfriends slash girlfriends I guess okay and her friend were getting drunk and his fuck buddy got horny Charles and his fuck buddy went to his room I went to my room and put

on my headphones and her friend left after about an hour I go to take a piss as soon as I take off my headphones I hear someone calling for an ambulance I realize it's Charles so I go to his room and he pokes his head out. Journeyman, call 911. Do you accept this quest?

What happened, Charles? Just call 911. It's an emergency. Boots, you can do a better impression of me than that. He wouldn't let me go into his room. So I whip my phone out. I dial 911. What? Dispatcher. 911, so I whipped my phone out. I dialed 911. What?

Dispatcher. 911, what is your emergency? Me. I don't know. Dispatcher. What the fuck? Do you know someone who does? Me.

Yep. I hope you like my good story. And I hand the phone over to Charles, who disappears into his room. In the split second before he closed the door, I saw his fuck buddy kneeling on the floor with her head in her hands. After a couple of minutes, Charles comes back up to tell me to wait outside for the ambulance. I don't know what the hell he told 911,

but the cop cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck show up at our apartment. One of the EMT guys asked me how much vodka she had to drink. They all leave without her. She's a boring fucker how much vodka did she have to drink and then without even waiting for an answer they leave this party's dead anyway bitch don't seem to ddf at all uh great apparently all that happened was she puked while they were they were fucking from all the liquor they had they were fucking from all the liquor they had Fucking from all the liquor they had Liquor? They drank liquor?

He drank liquor with his fuck buddy? That sounds crazy That sounds crazy Crazy Charles Last paragraph I hugged her and I was happy Uh, Squiddy That was crazy. Crazy charm. That was really crazy. Last paragraph. I hugged her and I was happy. Squiddy.

Okay. If you would please take the role of the user by the name of Ruby Skull. And Ruby Skull is trying to make the world a better place, it seems. Okay. I'm Ruby Skull. How do I get my roommate to become a productive human being? My roommate is horrible. Honestly, the worst roommate I ever had.

Before I get into the drama, I'm going to skip this parenthesis thing. Oh, but it's an American dad joke. It's an American dad meme. I shouldn't say joke. It's a meme. No, thank you. It's a word meme. Let me give you some context. Reference. It's a meme. No, thank you. It's a word meme. Let me give you some context. We'll just insert the meme in editing later.

Okay, good. Please do that. Hello. I have a perverted fish. met on tumblr four years ago bullet point began dating it was super casual literally we were just like close friends bullet point dated twice last breakup was two years ago bullet point last spring i convinced her to move here from across the country. And last bullet point, she's been here since August. She's not your roommate, dude.

This is entirely your fault. She's your girlfriend, dude. I think she might be my girlfriend. Anyway, so why is she so horrible? Where do I begin? How about the fact that she owes my parents $1,500 for her first three months of rent because she wouldn't really try to get a job? Your fault.

Or the fact that she currently owes me almost $1,000 for February's rent, electricity, internet, and groceries, and March's rent, electricity, internet, and groceries. So she knows your parents and you rent I guess I come from a long line of landlords or about the fact that she has a sugar daddy who gives her money to buy

oh no oh boy I have gum in my hair. Please help. No, you're the sour daddy. All right. She has a sugar daddy who gives her money to buy video games and pizza when she should be using the money for the massive debt she's collected. Well, maybe that money is earmarked.

You don't know how Congress works. Go get yourself a video game and a pizza. Only those two things. I want to see you look nice in your fallout outfit. All of my ladies are level 40 in Fortnite or better. Daddy runs a tight ship. Say it!

Or like she never puts her dishes in the washer, cleans them, or empties the dishwasher after she's run it for her filth. Her filth? Her filth. She shits in it? Yeah. She runs her panties through the dishwasher. Or the fact that she just went back home for a week on her sugar daddy's bill and hasn't done shit around the house, even though she's been home for a week now. This one's really long, you guys.

Or maybe she just told me yesterday that she's moving back home so now I have one month to move out and find a new place to live, since that changes everything. Well, yeah, because without her not paying rent, then... I gotta move out of my parents' house, I guess.

And apparently her friend found a place she can afford, even though she doesn't have a job, and the place we're in now she could afford when she was working. Or the fact that her sugar daddy brought her Breath of the Wild, and all she's been doing since she's been back is sitting on her ass playing the game on my

Wii U. My Wii U! Stupid roommate! Instead of looking for and applying for jobs or that she's on the phone. Mom said you had to let me play the video game. You either date me or stop playing video games.

Or that she's on the phone with her girlfriend literally for half the day and she doesn't clean shit around the house unless I ask her. I'm sure there's more, but the crap is piled and jumbled and that's all I can recall for now. So she's got you, the sugar daddy, a girlfriend,

and then your parents as well. I'm on her side. She's killing it. I literally do everything around the place and for the place, mostly on my own with the occasional help from my boyfriend. Guys, stop fucking each other and just do some chores. I'm taking 21 hours of classes and I have two jobs.

I grocery shop. Grocery shop. Well, grocery shopping has gotten really hard lately. I clean. I make sure my dog is accounted for in heaven. Is that a dog? Yeah, that's a dog. All right.

Roll call. One dog. Check. Dog. Okay, check. Me. Check. Okay.

See you next year at inventory, dog. And I even try to keep her accountable for shit she needs to get done, but instead she'd rather sit on her ass and play video games and watch YouTube and order food with bullshit money or eat food that I bought than actually be proactive

about getting a job and paying for the shit she needs to... Why would she do that? There is no incentive for her to do any of the things you want her to shit. Why would she do that? There is no incentive for her to do any of the things you want her to do. Why? Why does she want to work at Target? That's not a better option for her. Hold on. You want incentives?

There's one coming up. Hold on. Fight back, baby. Tonight I'm putting a password on the Wii U. Goddamn right, baby. Stand up. Stand up. Yeah.

I will stand up and I will only unlock it for her when I get home from school slash work in the evenings. That's right. You are iron. You are fucking steel. And then lift it mostly back up. When you're there to use it,

that's when she's allowed to use it. That's when she's allowed to use it. That's when she's allowed to use it. You fucking idiot. Other than that, I literally don't know what else to do or say to her to get her healing up after the little time she's got left here so my family

and I can get the money she owes us. You think that's coming back, do you? Man. Does she need a fifth boyfriend? Any suggestions are extremely appreciated since I can't stand being You think that's coming back, do you? Does she need a fifth boyfriend? Are you doing or saying anything? Yes, any suggestions are extremely appreciated since I can't stand being at home now and I'm about to pop a blood vessel over this bullshit.

Well, that'll show her. I don't think enabling parental settings on the Wii U is going to prevent her from playing Breath of the Wild. Alright, so there's a lot in this document and we're going to get into a story of Dungeons and

Dragons in just a moment. Bunny Bread, I want you to know we're going to get into the Dungeons and Dragons story in just a moment. I promise we will. So I can start paying attention. What happens when two mean girls fall in love? When two mean girls fall in love.

Hello, I'm Noir of the Night. They want to be alone. Dracula. Hello. It is I, Master of Night Noir of Master of Night You see how much text there is here, right? And you saw the first line, did you not?

Unfortunately I live here too And therein lies the fail Bullying me, you love miniature bear building No, no, no, no. No. Fine. You wanted me to read this, you knew what you were doing. This is on you.

Not really. One typo is a prison sentence for the rest of this show. That's called commitment. That's committing and you all could learn from it. Maybe, yeah. Assholes with your non-accents. With your speaking like humans.

He has to live with two mean girls, but there's just one problem. He's Dracula. Dracula. Not really. But for instance, it consumes their time, conversation, plans. One moonlit night they decided because miniature bear making was so important

they had to share everything. Why can't you just tell us what it is? Would you just understand craftsmanship and building up? Bully a minion of miniature bear building. Yes. Not really, but that was a sentence, I guess. Yep, that's where I come into this.

It's a big house. And for the first year, they cycled new housemates in and out. People came in, suddenly bought fridges and hot plates for their rooms, started spending a lot of time outside. Four, five months tops, then gone. The way they do. Yeah, that's pretty normal. What the fuck?

Roommates came in and then left. It's a big house, so people just show up with a fridge. They were all Oompa Loompas. Place it down there. This was written by a ghost. Hang out for a couple months and then leave. I'm Nicole Kidman, and I've been here a year.

Six months ago, they noticed that when I said I planned to stay a year, I meant I was staying for a year. Fuck moving that often. I'm skating close to the edge of amusingly disabled. I don't need the hassle. I'm amusingly disabled? Like I'm always doing

pratfalls and slipping on shit? Like Mr. Magoo? Yeah, every step I give like a little horn honk. Peter Sellers and Dr. Strangelo. But yeah, I have a fridge now! I've got

a kettle on my bathroom sink, a door I started locking just last week, and my timing. My timing. It is impeccable because I needed that lock tonight. It did the job, you know. Minion. Glad you have a fridge. Minion, a godlier than thou devotee of the Church of Pass aggression. Never, never asks for anything she wants. She just saves up her ire and paranoia and wraps it firmly in a sense of entitlement.

Just concentrates it down into tiny hysterical shrieks of imaginary deprivation and waits for a bully to aim and fire her off. It's true love between those two. Back. Nothing's happened yet. I got a boner from writing. That's what happened. Yeah. I got his aid on this project.

This is where Ulysses is a bad roommate post. I don't know what's happening. I'm the bad roommate, Shyamalan Twist. Back in November, I decided to start looking for a place in April.

Better weather. And why run around in the snow when I see rain when I have a lease? In December, they treated the news like the best Christmas present ever. Which is great, because they tossed the presents I gave them back at me in order for me to get them presents they wanted. I'm the sour daddy, I guess. They have a certain southern charm about them. Bully and minion.

They've been after me the last month. Open a mean girl psych textbook and read the Narcissistic Pathological Liar Index. They hit all the petty classics. Oh, God. This would have been totally improved if I could have just used vampire voice. Instead, this is just insane.

You know what? You're my least favorite roommate now in the last week I've been pinned against the counter while minions

screamed accusations in my face it was one of those fun moments where people tell you exactly who they are and they don't even notice they're

figuring out who they are and they don't like it hey hey yeah how is this my problem you ask if you don't like yourself change no quit putting miniature bear building over the kids you never bothered to raise

admit that the woman you minion for is a disgusting slob and is therefore incompatible as a bear building partner with someone suffering huge ocd jesus fucking paragraph Jesus fucking Christ! Skip to the paragraph that starts with all caps. Alright. I do not trust my housemates! Clap emoji, clap emoji. So, I do due diligence and document the hell out of this sudden strange turn. I send two emails, one congratulating them on finding what must be a great new place. Please send me a copy of the paperwork they turned in, and one stating that I will be taking on the house

and showing it with appropriate notice. Starting immediately, because they've already packing some stuff up now, nobody said no, nobody said nothing. They ignored the emails and were very chatty, otherwise I miss Charles already. And yes,

I'm still leery, but there's a perfect weekend at hand. Not much time to fill three rooms. I've given two forms of notice, people. I checked all the social media links to make sure everyone was cool. Silence. Cool. I have several

good responses. What if Facebook tells you everything's cool? I don't interact with these people. Yeah, they are ghosts. Or I am. I don't know. Minion never sleeps in. She slept in.

So the door opens six inches. She yelled. I closed the door apologizing and sent her an email later with a formal apology. And since she is the queen of offended feelings forever, and apologies don't matter, it really didn't matter. That was this morning. Hey, uh, hey, Adam.

Yes? What the fuck? You die! How did your Dungeons & Dragons game go? My name is Drael88, and Dungeons & Dragons destroyed my life! Tom Hanks. That was Mazes and Monsters.

You're right. You're right. Let's take a step back to when I was a young teenager who was at odds with his parents. Dumb young me. Decided to uproot my life. And seek shelter elsewhere. Namely to hit up a friend's house. A couple miles from home.

Let me tell you about my. Friends. They were a young couple. With a small child. Living in a run down house. Owned by the husband's dad. At the time I thought they were cool

but after living with them did I see the major shit storm I barely got out of. They were messy as in the entirety of the house was damaged. Bug infested. Reddit is bad at writing teasers.

Huh? Yeah, I know. Gather round and I'll tell you a story eventually, but here's some practice words. Dirty. Continue gathering. Dirty in the house. Couple people.

Come on, I'm just talking about how dirty it was in there. I mean, knowing this before you moved in, of course. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This you moved in, of course. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is all that set the scene. I was young, dumb, and desperate

to not be under my folks' roof. So when they took me in, I turned a blind eye to a lot of things. Husband's a loud, verbal jerk. I looked away. Husband would rather use his money

to pay for cheap beer. I bought food because I was trying to help. Husband wanted rather use his money to pay for cheap beer I bought food because I was trying to help Husband wanted to buy video games And hog all of the time on the TV that I brought I say nothing Because they are my home Charles?

Yes The husband was a bad egg In the worst kind of way Oh dear Smell the sulfur? Listen, this podcast can get pretty racy The husband was a bad egg in the worst kind of way. Oh, dear. Smell the sulfur? Listen, this podcast can get pretty racy, but I don't approve of that kind of language. You know, Lemon, you have me read a lot of inflammatory language sometimes, but I can't believe I read what I just read. That's a bad egg right there.

In the worst kind of way. The worst kind of bad egg. I can't wait until this person starts playing D&D with these skids. He's a no good Nick. Definitely not a straight shooter. As in believed himself to be a channeler and could call the spirit of the god he worshipped into him. Well, I don't know. That is textbook bad egg.

Classic bad egg. Not a great egg. There was also an altar to these various gods. The two of them were altered. Yeah. Which I had cleaned multiple times, but it always ended up looking like trash.

It was trash, you idiot. You ruined it. Husband was always a fan of his own version of Wicca, which involved bloodletting and speaking the names of the gods to grant him good luck for the day now these guys named like pikachu by yeah batman so you you cleaned his altar to ball yep with his blood all over it i'mco, by the way. I'm a non-denominational Christian. However, I do not judge people for having a different faith. So if they want to worship another god, sure, you do you and do no harm.

Except that these gods were made of... Mine of a a Newton bitter. As in, they had wrote fan fiction about these gods online. And were actively worshipping those fictional characters as gods. I thought you said they were made up. There's fan fiction about them. Yeah, man. Shit.

Documentation. Fan fiction ergo suma. Yeah. I'm sure you're curious by now what all of this has to do with RPGs not really these people

are the ones who introduced me to dungeons and dragons lightning crash it was me husband and wife it was me husband and wife you It was me, husband and wife? You were the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. I was running the game and had no idea what I was doing, but we were having fun.

You, you will play this game. You will be dungeon master. Be the dungeon master. Master the dungeons. Until I noticed that the characters of the two of them playing are the gods they worship. Weave a magical story for us. We command it. I say nothing because it's just a game. But one night after husband made a roll wrong spelling to seduce the barmaid and he said natural 20.

I looked at the dice. Dude, that's an 8. You can't just make up what you want. Oh, come on! Come on! Do not lie about a nat 20! Sacrifice chickens in the kitchen? Whatever.

Take all my shit and lock me in a closet. It's fine fine but you do not lie about a dice roll you just don't do that yeah just cut that's the real that's the real critical failure cut to the next day wife saying that i have to leave because, and I fucking quote, he feels offended that you badmouth the god he believes in and you make him uncomfortable to be around. I don't think that relates to your dice roll story. What? I don't think those two paragraphs touch each other

he feels offended that you badmouth the god he believes in doesn't mean the dice roll thing i'd been there for about three months at this point at his invitation when i asked why wife just shrugged and looked away. He said you made him feel uncomfortable. That if he wanted to wake up naked in the morning and drink goat's blood, he shouldn't be judged. I forgot to mention I judged him for drinking goat's blood. You cut that out for the natural 20. In the three months I'd been there, I thought it was the 20 thing, but it might have been me judging him.

Did it happen at the same time? I think it's a common mistake. I had fixed their house, fed their child, got the wife, Yeah, don't be surprised by that. Got the capital wife a capital job at the place I

knew. Paid their electric bill and had put up with clouds of cigarette smoke that to this day give me chest pains. I packed my shit and drove away.

Last I heard, the guy ran off with another girl and he had a warrant out for his arrest. For his own arrest? That's where it begins. To remind us, he once faked a hundred on a percentile. The title was

Dungeons and Dragons destroyed my life. Here's the last sentence of my post. Honestly, when I look back at all this, I'm surprised I came out sane and still liking tabletop RPG. I was lucky to escape with my very sanity. He rolled an 8 and said it was a 20. You fools. Also some other things, but they're probably irrelevant.

Oh, and meth addiction. So, what did we learn from this, F+,? I guess I knew it already, but it seems like every single part of Reddit tells stories in the same way, and it's the worst. Yeah. Yeah. How about if you live with other people, do the dishes? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah.

I learned that I'm having second thoughts about Frank West and me moving in together. Too late. I think it'll still be fun. I think it'll be a fun... Well, he does the dishes, and I fuck in together. Too late. I think it'll still be fun. I think it'll be a fun... Well, he does the dishes, and I fuck most things. Okay. Like the dishes?

I fuck the dishes, and Frank West himself. Okay, sure. But I do cheat on dice rolls. Yeah, no, no, and that's how... Yeah, and I don't judge that about him. He doesn't judge me about most things. I do...

I realize that if any roommate ever wrote a story about me, they would inflate me into the world's biggest villain in the headline and then not be able to follow up on it at all. Yeah, and just describe

the concept of another human being probably. Living with somebody who gets depressed. What's that like? I have no idea. I live with this person who's mad they live with a stranger. There was a weird combination of things. This document, I don't think I mentioned it,

but this document was given to us by Mix, and thank you, Mix, for this. But we went to a bunch of weird places. The one thing that I thought was a surprising lead-in was, like, a bunch of people sort of posting a living out of their cuckold fantasy. Like, it seemed like a bunch of people just wanted just to be cucked in their room. That's what I got for the impression. And then it was just down to people that just can't write a sentence. Or can write too many fucking sentences.

Yeah. One really long sentence. Good night, everybody. Chronological storytelling is a very difficult thing on Reddit, apparently. I learned a sheet can do a lot for privacy. A sheet and thumbtacks. As well as just turning away. I learned you can record people in Washington.

I didn't know that. Look at that. Apparently, it's always legal to record people in Washington. I didn't know that. Look at that. Apparently, it's always legal to record people in Washington. As always, THEFBL.US. Things are on there. I will be shipping out merch just as soon as I have the ability to do so. I have a backlog, but I'm planning to do all of it. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- Ain't gonna play the ring anymore Ain't gonna wash no dishes anymore Ain't gonna wash no dishes anymore Ain't gonna open up my can of beanie weenies And eat them up right on the stove Ain't gonna wash no dishes anymore

Ain't gonna watch the dishes anymore No more