The F Plus - 327: Hypothetically This Is An Episode

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

This time around, we're not just going to one subreddit, but five different subreddits, all of which are almost identical, and all of which ask the question "What if my preposterous hypothetical was real, would you upvote me then?" And also Satan really wants to watch you suck off ya boy. This week, The F Plus is real, you family member?

What if there was a podcast called The F Plus? And what if the people in the podcast read terrible things with enthusiasm? In that case, in the room I'd have boots, ring, ear. If you had magic fingers that regrew when people ate them, would you let people eat your fingers to end world hunger? Frank West! My nerd boyfriend blushes whenever I call him a boa constrictor, thinking I'm referring to his dick, Frank West! Nutshell Gulag!

Jimmy Franks! What if Superman is real, you family member? John Toast. What if Bill Denbrough from It Was Ghostwriter, Zarathustra's spirit of vengeance, finds a new host? It's Bill Denbrough who has depression because his brother was murdered. And Lemon. All gases suddenly turn into wood. Permanent.

Okay. All of them. All gases are wood, and it's permanent. Okay, that's... Be very careful what you wish for. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hey, how do you folks like

living in a world of infinite possibilities? It would be nice. Wow. Just diarrhea right from the start. What's going on? Infinite possibilities available to you. It's the year 2020.

Everything is going very well. You know what? You know what I wake up thinking every morning is there's so many things I can do. Oh. You do, huh? The crippling enormity of all the things we can do. There's so many things I can do to make a difference

in this world today. It's a huge world and I'm contributing. That's what I think. Just getting up, brushing your teeth, it's like, like man i could watch somebody playing valent or i could watch someone else playing valent who am i gonna marry in stardew valley today i wonder if there's been a new bon appetit from home video today marble racing so uh so're going to be looking at This is a fairly recent doc

Submitted to us Again fairly recent by F plus standards But it's given to us by Sovereign and Rot And I've titled this document A hypothetical document on hypothetical situations That we could read on the podcast hypothetically This is Going to bring us

To One site Called Reddit the podcast hypothetically um this is uh going to bring us uh to uh one site called reddit talk about infinite possibilities exactly uh but uh but we have five different subreddits to look at here we have r slash hypothetical situation r slash what would you do if R slash what if R slash crazy ideas and R slash would you in brief? A lot of these subreddits are sort of devoted to, I would say, the first five years of comedy. Bang, bang. Were they just where they just played? Would you rather for like an hour? But we're going to be, that joke landed very poorly.

But we're going to be looking at these, these different subreddits. There is some, some innovative thought provoking individuals who are just going to be presenting these concepts. And then as always on Reddit, a fruitful discussion will be had. Oh, good.

I like fruit. What kind of fruit are we talking about? Starfruit? Let's go starfruit. Oh, starfruit. Yeah. Well, you know how durians smell bad, but they're supposed to actually taste pretty good? Yeah, take off the second part.

We're going to start off here on r slash hypothetical situation. John Toast, it's an enigmatic title to your post. It is tagged NSFW. So that's fine. But what's your name? Well, I have to confirm that I'm 18 plus. So let me find out what my name is. My name is

you slash coast. That's my favorite song in Cruisin' USA. It's the big wheel from the Showcase Showdown. God, you walk past and your K-machine is just yelling out coast. Yeah. God, you walk past your K-machine, it's just yelling out, coast!

Yeah. And I have a very not safe for work question. My question is, would you or not? I'm sorry to shock everyone. I think I would... I don't know. I can't decide. Listeners, you might want to have

your kids leave the room. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's been a while. I'm sorry to start with such salacious material. Okay. Let me clarify then. Okay.

Okay. So put yourself in this situation. You're chilling with your boy and the devil pops up coming crazy. What? Talking about you have 30 minutes to choose whether or not to suck your boy's dick or let him die. This is the best.

Fucking do it, bro. This ain't zero escape. The devil went down on George. Oh, no. Oh. The situation consists of 30 minutes of your boy being in excruciating pain that is intolerable. At the end of the 30 minutes, if you desire to not suck your boy's dick, his soul will be taken by the devil, and his living body will have no emotions until his biological cluck runs out.

So he'll go through pain, and he won't be able to bear children anymore. I'm dying. Suck my dick. I want a baby. That's not how you get babies. Marissa Tomei is just stomping her feet. Or, or, or or or or or just suck his dick and man's is good

you have 30 minutes good luck Frank West do you have an answer for this I'm either gamer yaman or gamery a man gamer ya man an answer for this? I'm either gamer-yaman or gamery-a-man. Gamer-ya-man. Ladies, gamer-ya-men. This is a

very easy question. I'm a dude, and I'm not sexually attracted to guys, but I wouldn't hesitate to suck his dick to save a friend's life. Not even a moment of hesitation. It's not a hard question in the slightest. You get 30 minutes. Wouldn't you spend at least a couple minutes

trying to get the devil to explain to you why sucking this man's dick will save his life? Like, what sort of virus does he have where I can save his life by sucking his dick? Yeah, but the devil just goes like, what are you? What are you, a pussy? Come on, do it. Fucking do it, bro.

Chug, chug, chug. Sucking a dick just isn't that terrible of a thing, even, even if i don't enjoy it most women and plenty of men find a way to put up with it how hard could it be it can't taste much worse than your average pussy and i go to town on those all the time fellas a million fist pumps i believe you what if it means like he literally goes to town walking around with his monocle and top hat

I'm going to the pussy you need anything pussy joke it's not even that long of a thing way to shame your friend dude come on but he was your boy I But he was your boy. I thought he was your boy. He's your boy.

Or your boy, depending on which part of the post you're at. Sometimes you gotta be honest with your boys. With your boy, you know. It doesn't hurt, and at worst I have to handle my gag reflex. I guarantee that's easier than handling the grief of losing a friend, especially if I knew something.

I could have done something to save them. You might not have to handle it. Like, the devil didn't say give him a good blowjob. I'm totally sucking my boy's dick. Disappointed blowjob. Disinterested blowjob. If being seen as gay is so scary to you that it would stop you

from saving your friend's life, you have some seriously messed up priorities and are probably a pretty shallow friend. And this is only tangentially related and very not safe for work, but Watsky covers some of this in his incredible song slash video, Going Down. What if he has

Do Not Resuscitate tattooed on his dick? That's an impressive dick. Gamery Amen recites references to his response. Your boy has a card. It's like, in the

event that I am with a bad deal with the devil, I do not want a machine hooked up to my dick to artificially prolong my life through blowjobs. I mean, Gamerium Men makes a good point, though. It's like, how awkward it'd be if you go up to the eulogy

to give the eulogy and everybody's there and it's like, look, I know I could've saved his life. I'm sorry. But in my defense, I didn I could have saved his life. I'm sorry. But in my defense, I didn't want to suck a dick. Sure. Also, his friend would be like, ah, ah,

I'm dying, I'm dying. Ew, gay. Hey, yo, I got a hypothetical situation. Oh, good. What's that? Yeah, my name's been deleted. I don't know. I no longer have it I have a question about a hypothetical legal scenario

Oh dear, okay I can't find a hypothetical legal advice sub, so I'll post here It's an adaption from an older scenario I posted on Tumblr a year or two ago Alright You are at a McDonaldcdonald's waiting

to order some mcnuggets you are hoping they have some honey mustard sauce because you know it's the only sauce worth getting oh when you get the first cashier open you notice his dark skin and foreign name tags. Oh, God. Here we go. Wow. High posting and racism. We're on Reddit, all right? What if I was a bigot? Hypothetically. Quickly pivoting. Just like... You're holding a basketball.

Turn on heel. Bye. You turn to the person behind you and say, they can go on ahead. You move to the next behind you and say they can go on ahead you move to the next open register and it's a white high school girl you place your order and casually mention I'm so glad you were open I don't like to place my order with a terrorist

I mean the white girls the hypothetical white girl said it not me yeah yeah no I said it you mentioned yeah you said it I said it, not me. Yeah, yeah. No, I said it. You mentioned, yeah, you said it. I said it hypothetically. At this moment, a college girl behind you... Remember, this is hypothetical.

At this moment, a college girl behind you... Otherwise, you'd be an asshole. A college girl behind you perks her ears up. What? She barks at you. Did you just call that man a terrorist? Calmly grasping the situation, you reply to her confidently.

Why? I think anyone with eyes can tell he is one. This draws an audible gasp from the cashier, and several other customers are staring intently as you and the customer appear to be approaching conflict. Hypothetically, is the real world Reddit?

Ugh. Hmm. to be approaching conflict. Hypothetically, is the real world Reddit? You whip at your cell phone and loudly pronounce, I think I will call the authorities and have them arrest this terrorist. But the moment you press the nine key, the customer lunges forward and knocks your phone out of your hands. You smirk and begin laughing.

The woman looks confused, then lets out a scream. You playedirk and begin laughing. The woman looks confused, then lets out a scream. You played right into my hand! As two plainclothes FBI agents tackle her from behind, one of the agents speaks to her. You are under arrest for abetting a known terrorist,

assaulting a federal agent, and property damage! That's because in the U.S., McDonald's employs air marshals. Yeah. McMarshals. Another agent comes up and arrests the dark-skinned cashier

who was actually on the FBI's most wanted list for planning a terror attack using nerve agents. The two are them are taken into custody and all of the McNuggets are seized as evidence. Teach that college girl

for trying to get an education. The true tragedy. Fucking adverse possession. With the above scenario, will the college girl actually face charges for her involvement? Would the FBI ever actually arrest someone at their workplace? What if the individual had stated they are a federal agent before placing their phone call?

Why were they phone calling? What if the terrorist had asked the college woman to give the McNuggets to children? And if she did so after FBI agents told her they were laced with nerve toxins with her pushing past them and decrying them as fake news? What? What? I enjoy writing up ludicrous. I enjoy writing up ludicrous what ifs because in our day and age, you never know what the real extent of what people might just do. How would you handle the situation as it played out if you were the cashier, customer or agent?

Wow. Wow. It's too bad that your account's deleted because I can't imagine what the rest of your posts look like. Just have no idea. Okay. So. Okay, so Jimmy Franks. Yes. It's the internet, and that means that

it's legally mandated to talk about Harry Potter. Oh, God. So your name is MutantLlama1. Tell me about your hypothetical situation. Just imagine, if you will, Harry Potter magic is discovered in the 3rd century B.C. What? Oh.

Yes, our Harry Potter magic is real and can be used by anyone who can get their hands on a wand. The wand can be any stick of wood with a rhino tail hair, a Komodo dragon heart string, or a scarlet macaw feather completely embedded within it. Since phoenixes, unicorns, and dragons don't actually exist, it doesn't work if the core is sticking out or simply attached to the side or end. Oh, boy. I'm glad we're getting specific with this. It is specific.

It's that. Yep. We're going to get there. It is Pacific. It's that. Within the same year of each other, a Persian discovers how to make a wand out of rhino tail hires. Rhino tail, hi. Hi. And indigenous Indonesians learn how to use the Komodo heart strings. They must still figure out the incantations, et cetera, on their own.

Which is hard because it's all like bastardized Latin, I mean. I'm not sure if the historic range of the macaw was settled at this time, but if not, then the indigenous people of that area discover how to use the macaw feathers to make a wand as soon after 300 BC as possible.

And that original post was so good that nobody decided to talk about it anyone anyone else no upvote bye I'll be here is calling it the third century BC

work because it counts backwards still a century the century after the third one is the second one. No, it's BC would be the third century before. I think that works. Oh my God.

This is just what this person does. Oh my God. It's a virus that's spread through speech. Real effective, too. One post is all it took. Nutshell. Yes? What would they do to a kid

they did nothing but refuse to go to school? While still liking a boy. Urbex the Bosmer. Literally. Literally. i'm ervic the bosmer literally like literally they kicked and screamed the entire time and tried to escape the building every time their parents quite literally threw them into the building or if they're older and refused and the parents already did literally everything in their power that's legal including borderline abuse and neglect. I know they forced them into residential, but what if they continue to refuse,

literally holding on to anything and refusing to move at all during school? I know that there's special schools that can legally strap the kid down and force them to go to class or be locked in a padded closet, but they just throw them in jail and forget about them. What if they refuse to go to school while in prison? Would they just throw them in jail and forget about them? What if they refused to go to school while in prison? They wouldn't... No.

Just no. What if a kid wouldn't do a thing? Oh, they wouldn't do a thing. Yeah, that's what most people say. And you do have a response to people saying that they wouldn't do those things. My response is, that's like so wild. Like, it's just school, bruh. It's just school, bruh.

School, bruh. It's interesting to point out that all of these are really earnestly answered so far. Like, there's nothing funny in the conversation so far. I kind of like that, that people are just like, oh, okay, let's go with that. It's like next door for know-it-alls. Like, everybody's just, oh, well, actually. Hey, my name's necessary underscore field um and i just have a hypothetical situation that i've never masturbated to before a nerdy prison warden executes inmates by choking them to death

between his thighs isn't that just super jail maybe uh i didn't i i couldn't watch that show i found it visually rebalanced um uh what's the point of it uh so yeah choke between his thighs instead of using conventional methods how would people react to this and by nerd i mean like, like, nerd. Like, I included an image or link of a nerd just because nobody on Reddit is familiar with the word. Anyway, instead of giving them lethal injection, he makes them go to the death chamber, right? Then he locks the door and strangles the inmate using his thighs and a scissor hold. Why is it a nerd? Why is the prison warden doing this? Surprise!

It's a fetish episode! They're all fetish episodes, right? Every single one of them. We all come down here. single one of them. We all come down here. So, Luxador strangles using his thighs in a scissor hold. Also, said

nerdy warden, happens to have a fetish for his thighs strangling? You don't say. Oh, weird. What an odd coincidence. Just happens to. Just happens to. Hey, person who put their username in as necessary underscore field, would you happen to be a nerd? What?

What? I don't. Let's look at my... Oh, my account has been suspended for some reason. We're going to have to assume that his guards are in on it, or they're too scared to say anything because they feel they'll get fired or suffer a similar fate, like a Darth Vader situation, where he turns his thighs on them. I have altered my thigh hold.

Pray I do not alter it anymore. Well, hi, I'm Maxie99. I'm the only response to this post. And I just say, not this fucking shit again. I like the implications of that comment. I also like that the post itself has zero upvotes and Maxi has eight points. It's like seven other people are just like, finally, God, somebody. Somebody's shitting on this guy.

Can I read this post from the front page of Hypothetical Situation? Oh my God, there really are a lot of posts on this subreddit about nerds strangling people with their thighs Really? Anyway, I'm going to read a post called Adam West Alright My name is King Vader Senior

Yep Working on an updated adam west kustam and cast let's say 1971 and someone rebuts the batman and bring back the cast they let bart be his own hero like pre-Nightwing BQ was, they want a younger Robin. I'm curious what you'd name him and what his ghost yowm be like. And then Wad play the younger Robin. Any other input for this inverse cast? Let me know. No comments yet. Be the first to share what you think uh frank you were looking uh

you did a search there for a thigh strangle uh what sort of uh what part of sort of post did you find there if a nerd started to strangle me with his thighs but beforehand i covered my neck in butter would i be able to slip out of his vice grip by melodic contribution. You would grill up really nice while all that's happening. If a... Just grease yourself up with that butter. If a stereotypical skinny nerd started destroying me with

his thighs, would you be able to get out before you died of asphyxiation? He explodes into glitter. This guy made like nine different accounts to do this. Wait, wait. Every one of these accounts has been suspended. Nothing has not persisted. Wait, wait, wait.

Boots, you think this is all the same guy? Sure not. They're clearly different names. That is a weird assumption. What would happen if this man, photo and description, wrapped his thighs around my neck in a scissor hold and tried to strangle me to death by Greg Holder?

Oh, no. Greg Holder. Greg Holder. And he had, like, several socks doing it at once. Like, he didn't just, like, move from sock to sock as they all got banned. Well, some of these are from two years ago, and some of them are from one year ago. Yeah! What would it feel like to have my neck squeezed with

600 pounds of pressure by Nerdophilia? Oh, boy. It's just baffling, because it's like, I mean, this podcast is a years-long demonstration that you can, like, throw a rock, a metaphorical rock into the internet and hit five sites that have your fetish.

Why are you doing this? So, so... Holy shit. Wait, five months ago? Because it's part of his fetish, that's why. Oh, fair enough, fair enough. So I just, I just searched for thigh plus strangle plus nerd across all of Reddit and the top post.

The top post is in r slash confessions. If I see one more post about nerd thigh strangulation, I'm gonna actually strangle the poster. Oh! Well, the plan worked out perfectly, then. Threatening him with a good time. Please don't throw me in that briar patch.

This user posted three separate chapters to a story in both Confessions and Thighsexual. R slash Thighsexual? The story is called Try These On For Thighs. Oh, no. Okay, I was disgusted at first, but for the pun in that name, 10 out of 10. I love you.

Well, if you go to the subreddit, you'll be disgusted again. I choose not to it's a nerd thigh strangling story by the grappler isn't that character in the banner from super gel I'm not looking at it okay so we're going to do a little bit of a user spotlight here.

We're looking at a user by the name of Agent Zapdos. Zap-dos. Agent Zap-dos. It's just Zapdos. Okay, Agent Zapdos. It's a Pokemon. Yeah, it's a Pokemon. Oh, I thought it was Spanish for shoes.

That's the potters. I'll be the poor text. Now no one will know I'm a video gamer. Nerd eyes do not bend backwards. And Toast, you're down there in page eight there in the documents. You are Agent Zapdos, seeing as how you know which Pokemon you are. Oh, good. Just, I don't know, give me some of your thoughts.

Hey, everybody. I'm agent zapdos here's my hypothetical situation everyone's genitals turn into reptiles uh-huh all right see here's how it'll go down hypothetically hypothetically i like it let me set i have a blue-tailed skink all the penises turn into snakes and all the vaginas turn into crocodile jaws. They're still attached to the human... They're still attached to the human bodies. They can still be used to procreate if you can get the snake to eject its venom

inside the crocodile jaws. Come on. I haven't done this for so long. I'm breaking character early. There's a problematic girth offset between a snake and a crocodile jaw. I'm sorry to corpse so early on snake and crocodile jaw facts. There's my situation.

Put the venom in. We want kids. Not going to do it. My Comics Box asks, how will peeing work? Well, I got an answer for you. My comic box, the urine just ejects from the snake slash Croc's mouth when the bladder is full and the pelvic floor is relaxed. Of course.

It's so simple. You got any, uh, you got any other thoughts? Well, I sure do. It's illegal for males to interact in any capacity whatsoever, even accidental eye contact with females they have no existing long-term close relationship with. Sounds good so far. Go on. So this is a hypothetical. This is slash r slash incel.

Let me explain this a little bit more. The U.S. government enacts this law in an effort to fight sexual harassment in the workplace slash schoolyard. There are no exceptions, not even for relatives. Yes, because you don't have long-term close relationships with your relatives. Well. Thank you for watching PragerU. I don't.

Or do they mean like relationships? All men die on their 30th birthday whereas women are immortal and invulnerable. Carousel! Carousel! I posted that with no body text so I just let that you know. I think that speaks for itself.

We found Kanye's alt account on Reddit. Yeah and then Reddit's like Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty rick and morty and what's the next one you got there i'm gonna skip that next one because i don't want to read it i'm gonna read this no no no no no i want that one i want that one okay it's revealed that epstein is alive and the dead body in the prison cell was a genetically engineered body double with the same dna structure yo i'm super duper boy and I got a comment to make

on this. Alright, what's that? Yeah, alarm bells have been ringing since his death increased by several orders of magnitude. Wow, that's a lot of bells. The fact technology the fact technology, the

technology behind facts. Never employed on Reddit. Like that exists and was used to fake his death makes people wonder what other sorts of tech super rich and connected have been keeping for themselves the tech to murder somebody yes i think that's been around for a little while no they a rope did not exist True. Nobody's been strangled before Epstein. Or a tie. I don't know. Who knows? The rich are hiding all kinds of things, like sharp wedges you can push into people.

I've even heard they have some sort of tube that shoots out a thing, and I don't really know where it goes from there, but it's... But the fact it was used on epstein raises sorry the fact it was used on epstein raised several questions about the case notably how did they switch them out where did they grow the body what guards were in on it and where is the real epstein information he gave to authorities before his death, as well as materials law enforcement seized, will still be used in the cases they are building against these new against all of these people.

If you say so. So it's not like his death shut the whole investigation down. If you say so. A significant number of people become conspiracy theorists since the whole Epstein thing to begin with was fishy, but now they're finding out DNA cloning tech exists. It looks like each crazy conspiracy is followed

by an even crazier one. Hey, I'm Mellon. Poopstein. Yeah! Good one. Yeah! Yeah! Skip one, and then Toast, what's the next one you got?

Well, you know, I got all political on you on the other one, so let me lighten the mood here. The earth grows a cock and balls, and Venus develops lady parts. Nice! There's a dark twist The earth grows a cock and balls and Venus develops lady parts. Nice. There's a, there's a dark twist to this though.

Unfortunately, the earth's cock is small and Venus can't feel anything. Would you suck the earth stick to save it? And then skip another one. And then the one after that. It starts raining swords over Washington, D.C. That sounds fine. An otherwise normal storm system forms over the city,

and it begins to rain drops of water as normal. Suddenly, for a period of approximately ten minutes, great swords and long swords of the highest quality. Rain down. Two thousand folded Japanese steel. Oh no, it's the cold steel storm. It's the highest quality, right. They rain down upon the city

at a rate which could be considered a torrential downpour. Quick, everybody get out your jugs of colored water. This stops as quickly as it began, returning to normal rainwater, then dissipating as a non-anomalous storm system over DC would. Oh my god, that would literally be a storm of swords. Oh, yes. He just looked at the book title and was like, that gives me an idea. Am I going to actually read the book?

That would be such a better HBO show. It was just about swords falling from the sky. I mean, if the last episode were just they were all killed by falling swords, it would be an improvement. Slicing plastic bottles of water. There was a wedding, then it rained. Oh, no. Well, I have a note here. The swords, defying all laws of physics,

consistently fall and land with the blade pointing down. Well, that's just a waiting problem. I mean, you could do that. After the sword goes away, the swords are just normal swords, aside from being of exceptional quality and workmanship. Are you trying to sell these swords? What is this?

Free sword? All the sword mall stores in DC go out of business. Oh, no. Our job creators. I know. Okay, so we're going to be moving to a different subreddit

now. This one is r slash what would you do if my name is WaffleCat. I'm the 3,367th WaffleCat. Again, I'm going to go through the day

of WaffleCat0001. Shit. WaffleCat0001. I need this name. I need this name. I need this name. Waffles and cats, both very popular. I like both those things.

Hey, what would you do if a guy named Rifter tries to take over the multiverse? On a desert planet named Planet Riftia, there lives a man named Rifter, which is my original character. Right? I didn't get that.

It's like on Earth, there's a lot of guys named Rifter. Are you playing Rifts? Is that your character in the game Rifts? Rifter can open up dimensional rifts. That's important. Fly and is invulnerable. I mean, I don't call myself

Dorer. Dorer. Maybe you should. It is I, the Jarrer. I am the Fenestrator. He doesn't need to sleep or eat or drink or breathe. He's five foot ten inches tall. That's very important.

Okay. Okay. Rifter decides to take over the multiverse. To do that, he must take the most important object from each universe and place it in his own universe. So it's like a Mario Galaxy kind of thing. After he has done that for every universe, he will gain total omnipotence over the universe

and it'll be truly unstoppable. An example of- This is just the plot of Jet Li's The One. An example of the, quote, most important object of the universe would be the Triforce in The Legend of Zelda or the Chaos Emeralds from Sonic. Oh, that multiverse.

Yeah. So, uh, okay. Here's the universes. Oh, God, it goes on forever. Here's the universes. Oh, God. Here's the universes that the Rifter will try to take over. Planet Riftia. Rifter's home universe. Real life.

Super Mario. Legend of Zelda. Pokemon. Pokemon main series game. Pokemon main series anime. Pokemon Origins. Pokemon main series manga. Justice League action. YouTube.

YouTube. Escapists, Murder Police, Regalia Laws, Darkwing Duck, Mean Girls, The Room, The Shining, You Only Live Twice, Surf Ninjas, Future Diary,

Sonic the Hedgehog, specifically the movie, and Three Ninjas. The 1992 Three Ninjas. And Three Ninjas. The 1992 Three Ninjas. And the Holy Bible. Rifter will not gain omnipotence until he has collected the most important item from every universe. Just to clarify, Rifter only opens one rift at a time when he's traveling to and from dimensions. He also makes rifts sometimes if he's attacking or summoning an object he wants or something like that. When he's done using a rift, he closes it.

However, Rifter will continue to open many rifts along his journey. He opens so much rifts that the space-time continuum becomes unstable, resulting in random rifts opening and closing throughout the multiverse. Rifter isn't aware of how to make space-time less unstable. So as his journey goes on, more and more random rifts appear. Good, right? Good. Then I repeat myself a bunch, and then I say, events. Here's some

really important things, right? Event number one. Rifter finds a rock. Ooh. Ooh. I like rocks. Event number two, Rifter steals the Earth's entire water supply.

That's okay. Yeah, okay. That's like two-thirds the amount. Well, maybe not. Rifter, event number three, he steals the gun from Portal. It can work on any flat service

that isn't made out of Lego bricks. Oddly specific, sure. Right, so that's event number three. Would you like to know what event number four is? Because it's very good. I hope it seals up a plot hole here. Do you remember how he stole the Portal gun

but it doesn't work on Lego bricks? I'm following you. I'm following you. So event number four is the gun that works on Lego bricks. Oh. Well, I was about to point. He steals the Lego portal gun from Lego portal, which is a thing. You know, I was about to make a 34-minute YouTube video about all the plot holes and everything, but you solved them, so thank you.

Yeah, no, you were already working on your still frame where you made a face like, and then you went. 34 minute YouTube video about all the plot holes and everything, but you've solved them. So thank you. Yeah, no, you were already working on your like still frame where you like made a face like, and then you went plot holes and you pointed at the text. And like a portal gun crossed out. Yeah, exactly. Then the Lord Vortec from Lego Dimensions, we're familiar. He's freed from his prison via a random rift from Rifter. from Lego Dimensions, we're familiar. He's freed from his prison via random rift from Rifter.

Then the greens from Lifeline begin spreading around the multiverse. Wait, the fucking PS2 game where he talked to the mic? Really? If you say so. They begin spreading around the multiverse. Is that good or is that bad? It's astounding that anyone

who has played Lego Dimensions has also played Lifeline. The diseases from Plague Incorporated begin spreading around the multiverse. Okay. Sure. And then Taboo from Super Smash Brothers is brought back to life. Ah, Taboo. So having laid all of that out, here's the question I have for you, Reddit.

What would you do in this situation? Die of dehydration? Yep. Correct. One person in the chat says, summon Bill Safer. He's got this. That's probably a good plan.

That would work. all right uh um okay jimmy franks we have a very hypothetical what would you do if uh situation we're just going to talk hypothetically okay it's important that we talk hypothetically uh yeah it's and this is a serious one yeah Yeah, no, I... Oh, okay. What's your name, by the way? P.M.E. Your Beans. Bet. What would you do if you accidentally pissed all over yourself at work? Answers in the next ten seconds, please.

Oh. Answers in the next 10 seconds, please. Due to a very unfortunately placed hair, I peed for 15 plus seconds before realizing where some of it was going. I'm talking piss spot all the way down the front of the pants. I'm sorry, sir. This is for hypothetical situations. I had an extra shirt, go figure,

so I wrapped it around my waist, but that smell. Oh, I, uh, I had no deodorant spray or any sort of fragrance to cover it up. No change of clothes available to me. Oh, no, stores within proximity. Fourth week on the job, so no one I trust enough to reach out to he pisses his pants and his first thought is just put band roll

speed stick that fucker it's like mortar for piss stains so i uh you know his first try his first try to do that ran up to random random women in the workplace, smelling of piss and yelling, do you have any perfume? That didn't work. I ended up, air quotes, accidentally spilling coffee on my lap when I got back to my desk. Oh, oops. This is coffee and not piss.

How did I? Yeah, I got the piss-a-chino. That's why it smells like that. Starbucks, am I right? Thankfully, it wasn't that hot anymore. I wasn't granted any extra options. Oh, now I had a cover story. Coffee did nothing to cover the smell, which got pretty bad,

but I kept to myself and I bolted a five sharp. I'm just curious, what would you have done in that situation in the future? I always respect the fucking path before releasing the damn. What is this? This hair? How did the hair? Where was the hair? Whose hair?

How did it? I don't know. How thick was the hair? Like, was it? He's just got one hair down there. One big hair. It's like a crazy straw. And it grew.

It became a... It became sentient. It was like, I'm gonna fuck this guy's day up. This post also implies that he spilled the coffee on himself without really checking it, which brings up the really good scenario where it's like, fuck, fuck, and goes back to his desk and pours hot coffee over himself yeah he missed out on a really good bit there like and he could have like

never pour coffee on your piss so now we're going into r slash crazy ideas. Okay. Well, I think you're moving on too hastily, though. Oh, okay. Because there was a section that says, what if Bill Denbrough from It was Ghost Rider? I mean, that's got to be really interesting.

Yeah, that has to be. Yeah, right. That has to be interesting. So interesting, it's too interesting for this podcast. That's fair fair that's very fair thank you for sparing because like nobody everybody would stop listening immediately after that because like well i've gotten my fill of this i've gotten all i wanted we skipped i can't believe we skipped over what would you do if you woke up and could only talk like a minecraft

youtuber i think you misread that it's a a, hey guys, what's up? What would you do if you woke up and could only talk like a Minecraft YouTuber? No bell would survive. They'd all be smashed. I think you breathed in the middle of that. Frank, I'm going to just post that link there. And Frank, again, as I said,

we're moving to r slash crazy ideas. Hello. What's your crazy idea? again, as I said, we're moving to r slash crazy ideas. Hello! What's your crazy idea? What's the title of your crazy idea? Come. That's not that crazy. That's my crazy idea.

Hear me out now. Okay, you bet. My account's been deleted, but my words remain. This Ozymandias statue of cum. A trunkless pillar

of cum. Guys are always trying to get people to help them ejaculate, right? So why not help them cut to the chase? Why not sell them tubes of cum? I feel like you're missing a key part of this. Like, I feel like...

Maybe, but I've already dumped... I have already dumped $500,000 into this startup idea and I can't turn it around. You had my curiosity, now you have my attention. Go on. That way, a guy won't be so desperate to get someone to help get the jizz out of him. Since we already have some of it.

Can you help me get the jizz out? Honey, please, we gotta have sex. I need to get the jizz out. It's c-c-c-cursed. There's just so much it needs to get out of here. You need to go down the sink where you belong. This fresh, good cum. Cum can become a sign of affection again.

Instead of, I guess, what it is. This Valentine's Day, say I love you. De Beers, come. Every kiss begins to come. There we go. A guy sees a girl that he wants to get to know, so he talks to her, and then lets her know he likes her

by taking out his tube and squishing a little cum into her. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, yep. I don't know why this isn't crazy ideas. I'm imagining Go-Gurt. Are you all imagining Go-Gurt? Yeah, of course.

Give a little cum Give a little cum of my love Bros before hoes? Nope, no need to choose There's enough cum for everyone But bros could cum too Sweet I don't see

I don't see how this isn't a good idea But people I've talked to seem skeptical thought I'd see what Reddit has to say about it skeptical this is Fort Muffin the fuck man I don't know

I do. I do. I do. Boots, just take this one. It's pretty short, but you should take this one. My name is Tits McGinnis. Top of the morning. Creates a beverage that acts as a degreaser in your stomach to completely negate oily foods. Like fish soup, but edible. Drink it after eating a greasy meal.

Dish soap, not fish soap. I mean, you could just drink dish soap after your, like, eat your fish and chips and then just eat dish soap. It's fine. It's literally fine. There's nothing wrong with that idea. Okay. This is a good one.

This is a good one. John Toast, you got a product you want to pitch to me? I sure do, Lemon. I am Ask Curtis. A phone with a screen Wait for it. Under the screen. So, a screen

that you couldn't see? Screens are getting so thin and soon see-through screens will become cheaper. You can put a normal screen on top of an e-reader type display so when you're ready to read for long periods of time and don't want to waste your battery or suffer eye fatigue,

just turn the regular screen off and you'll be able to read the e-reader display. You wouldn't though because the screen would be on top of it. The other screen would interfere with the e-ink screen. Screen? Good point.

But what if screen? No, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. I know you're all thinking of a screen, but have you considered screen? Whoa. Well, to be, okay, this is a pretty dumb idea, but to be fair, the original poster, since this document was created, deleted his post. So even he was like, this is fucking stupid.

Or the man deleted it because they didn't want you to know about this. I want to think that they deleted this post because they knew that they could get more traction on. Aha! One FF screen and another screen. Then you would have two screens. There's one that doesn't have any text that is just an orgy but for cuddles. Who posted that one?

Yeah, I remember it. I remember it. I think Montreux liked that one a lot i think she she liked being part of it uh but uh f plus what did we learn from uh any of these uh really cool uh uh sort of thought experiments that um either one man or a cabal of people invented nerdy thigh strangling as a fetish and it has been a seething underground on Reddit for years. That's true.

We didn't know about nerd thigh crushing until today. That was a fun discovery. I learned that there are dumb questions. Such as what? Well, you've been doing your own research outside of this. such as such as what well you know

you've been doing your own research outside of this well you know what you said that and I can't come up with anything like these were all so good so you know what you've proven me wrong what if you try and make a joke at the end of an F plus episode but it's it doesn't work

be honest now I've never had that happen so so I couldn't tell you. I am completely unfamiliar. There's a lot of just sort of like noses to the grindstone here. Like there's, you know, there's not a lot of just activity in general. Like there's a lot of like OP stuff uh but like not a lot happens here uh but they still just keep going like i'm just gonna uh the sound of a gavel hitting a sound block makes them extremely horny yeah like there's definitely some people who seem to be

workshopping stuff for a comedy routine that they clearly don't have. What do you mean? What do you mean? How dare you? How dare you impugn the integrity of someone like Question John Doe who asked, what if we used our poops as currency? You know, you could be on the table pooping out the money to buy stuff. Your ass might be a wallet. How dare you, Frank? Like, oh, Jim Norton,

you still got it. Fuck. The website is always thefbl.us. We have a forum called Ball Pit and other things as well. I don't know. Bye. Lemon doesn't know. Episode over.

Xerathos chose him as the next Ghost Rider. Xerathos is spirit of vengeance. Xerathos chose him as the next Ghost Rider. He possesses his soul and explains to him what is spirit of vengeance. He says he will help him find the murderer who kills his brother. Where'd you go?

He actually left. Oh good, you're back. He says he will help him find the murderer who kills his brother, but there's no telling what's hiding in his family. Bill accepts and becomes Ghost Rider. How would movie run now? 27-19. I see.

Hey, you put me in the wrong server What was that about?