The F Plus - 336: Hungry Like The Sasquatch

Episode Date: September 25, 2020

The website Bigfoot Eruption has a whole lot of things to say about Bigfoot. Now, Few of those things make a lot of sense, and fewer still seem to be internally consistent, but the important thing is that Cain and/or Adam and/or Satan is involved, it's a conspiracy, and it's not a bear. Pay attention to your dog. This week, The F Plus gets a lot of milage out of that poo.

Well, time to go try to be funny on the internet. Sasquatch lives in the great northwest. Sasquatch. Sasquatch. Shaggy fur and a furry chest. Sasquatch. Sasquatch. It's true.

I keep telling you. It's true. The F-Plus is a terrible, terrible place. But they read terrible things. But they read them with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Bunny Bread. Sweet Prudence and the Erotic Adventures of Bigfoot, 2011. Sex comedy about a group of people who,

they fuck Bigfoot. I mean, what do you think is going to happen? It's fun. For us, what we are sharing makes sense because it matches history and the biblical. Otherwise, we would have absolutely not the faintest idea. Nutshell Gulag.

My chainsaw and plenty of my urine seem to have discouraged it. Finally, a loud air horn also held. Your friend on the internet goes by the name of Adam Bozarth. Fish and Wildlife, Park Rangers, and especially the FBI will try to tell you, to convince

you, that this podcast is about a bear. It's true. I forgot what line I was going to pick. Let's listen to the episode. Hey, F-Bless. Hey, Lovett. Greetings.

Hey, are you all ready to get back to nature? Fuck yeah. I love nature. I wouldn't go out there right now. Nature, if you're not familiar, if you're on the West Coast, is a bright orange ball that makes the air unbreathable. Yeah, I live in California where nature gets back at you. I live in Oregon, which used to be known for its trees. I mean, to be fair, though, it was probably a pretty good gender reveal party anyway.

So what I want to do is I want to introduce you to the magic of nature and specifically Bigfoot. Oh, I know the idea. We've, we've done some material about Bigfoot and then we've learned things from, from Bigfoot. For example, our live show in Seattle,

we learned more things about Bigfoot. But today, today we're going to be going to BigfootEruption.com Oh no. Yeah. Bigfoot's about to erupt. This is one of many, many

documents provided to us by SecretGage in 69. As a message to SecretGage in 69, we like your documents. We appreciate your documents. I hope you're getting, like, food, and... Sleep, slow down! Take care of yourself, man. Remember to hydrate!

God damn. You know, quarantine projects are great, just make sure, make sure you're doing some self-care. We appreciate the documents, make sure you're getting self-care. That candle is burning. But, yeah, I think let's just start off with the Bigfoot eruption theory. The URL isn't possibly long, but Adam, if you will just introduce us to the Bigfoot eruption theory, please.

Yes, of course. Thank you. Fallen angels had children with the line of Cain. Oh. These. Yes. These offspring were the Nephilim. I was expecting like the reveal that Bigfoot wrote that Van Halen solo or something.

Yeah. The Nephilim were giants that became leaders and were super freaky. The Nephilim. Super freaky. No. The Nephilim. The Nephilim. Super freaky children. The Nephilim's children were the giants with the line of Cain.

They were all evil and promoted anything that excluded God. And they were so evil that God sent a great flood to wipe them out. And they were so evil that they made the normal beast of Earth unclean. So it's Bigfoot's fault for the great flood? Yeah. Don't get ahead of me. No, you just read that. Noah's clean family repopulated the Earth, and insert part two. family repopulated the earth and insert part two for the fallen angels,

having children with humans, creating more Nephilim whose children were more giants. These were the giants of the old Testament, including Goliath and his son. You keep capitalizing giants. Do you mean the San Francisco baseball team? No, I mean the New York football giants.

Jesus Christ. So sorry. It is hard not to see it like a sports team. And lo, God created East Lyndhurst, New Jersey. King Og. And more. King Og. Og, Og. And more. King Og. Og Og.

It was clear that it was a war between the bloodline of Cain and the bloodline of Adam. Oh, I've seen this anime. From the famous biblical story Cain and Adam. Yes. Different bloodlines. different bloodlines with God's people getting pretty good at killing giants the secret societies of Cain scattered any remaining giants around the

world with the technology they had from the fallen angels and Cain and these giants being lustful with the help of demonic yeah with demonic influences took to bestialities humans of took to bestialities plus humans of those

regions producing regional categories of Bigfoot creatures with the traits of those regions it's like I'm gonna make us some Bigfoots hey baby you wanna come over and make a Bigfoot secret society Hey baby, you wanna come over and make a bigfoot?

Secret societies spread disinformation to keep their secrets so their monster army can be used in their version of an end times Armageddon agenda An end times Armageddon, not like a middle Yeah, like

Denouement Armageddon, not like a middle of the middle. Yeah. I like to do that too. Armageddon or anything. De Numa, Armageddon. Disinformation would be the production of obvious hoaxes so others would not believe. Also, contractors showing up mysteriously to tell you that they saw a bear and not a Bigfoot. Also. Hello. Yeah. Hello. Yeah, hi. I just wanted to tell you that I didn't see a Bigfoot. It must have been a bear. I saw a bear.

What I can tell you is I didn't see a Bigfoot. Also, you want your driveway refurbished? Yeah. Spray that rip-off black stuff on it, yeah. Also, government agencies treating you like a crazy person instead of helping you with your Bigfoot claims.

Insurance claims again. All their file cabinets look alike, and it makes that shh sound, and they put paper into it. The file cabinets look alike and it makes that sound and they put paper into it. Bestiality as a form of DNA manipulation forming the common categories of Neanderthal,

canine, ape, and what we call Patty. Patty! Okay, Patty. Yeah. Okay. My aunt? My aunt is the final form? Yeah, yeah. Well, not final. Final. Okay. Patty. My aunt? My aunt is the final form? Yeah, yeah. Well, not final. Final. On the way. Okay.

Getting there. Patty is a reference to the common, most well-known version of Bigfoot. So you know Bigfoot is Patty. Like, socially. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we call her Patty. Yeah, you know her as Bigfoot, but hey, to us, she's always been Patty, you know?

Back here in the family. Some of the Bigfoot try to avoid the evil, and this is why if you put sulfur around your property line, they avoid it. Sulfur represents hell, so why do some of them fear it? Because they are trying to avoid the evil side of this conspiracy. Okay. So for reference, it's hell. So why do some people fear hell? Wait, wait, I have the answer.

Once the star people find them, then they are trained and indoctrinated into the evil. Oh, into the evil. Why do they think they are so good at avoiding trail cameras? Yeah, bitch. Part of their training. We just said that. Yes, we just said that. Okay.

Yes, we just said that. Did someone just throw their hands up? Excuse me, sir. You did not just say that. So, wait. So so they're all trying out for Bigfoot Warrior Ninja mhm mhm well not Patty

well not Patty Dogman oh good there's another level Dogman are feared by the other categories of Bigfoot so this is especially a pet project of evil.

So go back as far as Egyptian Anubis back in time and culture when bestiality was common and accepted. Side notes, the satanic culture embraces the death of children and bestiality back in Bible times and since. Yeah, this source book

is fucked up. Embraces the death of children and bestiality, so the death of bestiality? Yes. I mean, like, they're... This will be the death of bestiality, Twitter. Yeah. Oh, I got my head up again. You did not just say that! That's some solid journalism, Bunny Red.

Yeah, he said that. He just said that. Oh, shit. Okay, he did. Would you like to hear Bigfoot Eruption Theory 2.0? 2.0? As a matter of fact, I actually would like to hear. You know what? This is a good theory. I wonder if it's ever been revised. Yeah, you know, you gotta keep it fresh, you know.

Bigfoot Eruption Theory 2.0, it's like you say stuff and then other people just tell you you're wrong or say first or. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In every academic paper, there's always that one asshole that writes first. Yeah. So the Bigfoot eruption theory 2.0. Same as the Bigfoot. These are the patch notes, I guess. Same as the eruption theory 2.0 uh same as the bigfoot these are the patch notes i guess same as the eruption theory but after the giants were killed off by king david fallen angels said forget this and instead of procreating with evil humans they chose animals

i don't know if i like that choice this This really feels like a writer's room. This is confirmed by the apocryphal writings pending specific references. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. This was confirmed by my writings pending them being written. I'll figure it out. I will find my references soon.

Know that there's footnotes eventually. Yeah, we will unsuccessful with most, but successful with some. Citation coming along. So now that I've cleared that up, the cross-breading that worked left populations huge. Yum.

Butterfew's panko and sourdough. Butterfly's Bigfoot. Oh god, that sounds great. Some brown gravy on top, I hope. Yeah. The cross-bredding network left populations of new giant creatures in the regions where they are originated and thus the perfect hiding spot in their natural habitat. Another just awesome sentence right there. The canine version as henchmen slash killers and thus why the other categories of bigfoot fear them

oh yeah yeah yeah i wonder why this person had difficulty getting the authorities to help them with their bigfoot theories come on government he's trying to get help always just put it in that loud filing cabinet the common bigfoot is a servant slash slave for the end times agenda of Satan. Those that can avoid all of this do if they can. And I have some notes here. It is said by whom, if this was on Wikipedia, that after the flood,

when the Nephilim were once again, populating the world with giants, some of the Nephilim only procreated with each other to keep the DNA pure. Oh dear. It's one of these guys. Bigfoot super race. They became the rulers of the world, creating dynasties. They looked

almost, quote, alien in the way many think of them as being pale with oddly shaped heads. This could relate to the elongated skulls that have been found in Russia, Germany, Peru, just to name a few. They've found, yeah,

they've found skulls in all three of those countries. It's true. All three of them had at least one person. Well, so that was a very reasoned origin story for the Bigfoot. Do you have another theory, Bonnie Bren? Yeah, I do. I do.

I'm glad you led with reason, because fuck that. Oh, what's going on? Excuse me, sir. You and your bullshit reason can get the fuck out of my way. I got yourself a theory of no reason whatsoever. None. Oh, shit. Eat shit, reason.

Oh, shit, you're Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park. Go fuck yourself reason brand. This is a theory with a safety pin as an earring. Yeah. No reason. Yeah. Our contributor also gave us this insight. Steingard

doesn't believe in God because he was never given a reason to. He just went along with those around him in a purely emotional religion. Apologetics, proving Jesus, have easy answers to all of his objections, but he never thought that there were

good, historical, scientific, and logical reasons to believe in god so so the first time he reads something in the bible that seems off he bails out but no no it gets better i swear wait wait wait he had to get honest about his nonsense religion before he can find the truth. He's closer to being a Christian now than he was before. Citations always needed. Okay. Did a bigfoot say this? It looks like

Steingard is a guitar player in a Christian rock band, a Canadian Christian rock band called Hawk Nelson. That would have helped. That would have made this make sense. Yeah, absolutely. That would have helped. That would have made this make sense. No reason. Hawk Nelson.

Hawk Nelson. Yep, absolutely. I think it's actually I think the band's actually named after the singers from a faux hawk. I thought it was like a pro wrestling move or something. Got him in a faux hawk, Nelson. All right. Okay. Okay. So with this new. Got him in a full hawk, Nelson. All right. Okay. Okay.

So with this new revelation of him having a guitar, you get a shitty rock band. This is interesting. What? Not nice to discuss this person's life decision. Okay. Then go back in time and take this, take back his tweet.

Sorry. His situation is helping us learn. We should coin it The Stein. Wow. What? Wow. So rude of us? You mean this is not convenient for you? But if it were, then you would pull a blind eye to it?

What the fuck is this? Is this aocratic dialogue? Was that a Jill Stein burn? Was that what that was? Is Bigfoot writing this? He's got a fart-powered keyboard. It's a fart act. Okay, I'll just... Here we go.

Yeah. Hey, if everyone made the same stance as the steon, then everyone loses. Good point. Can you imagine a world where nobody believes in God? Try it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. It's easy if you try. Hmm. Wait, is that a song? You know what?

Wait a minute, no possessions? This is actually only Sky. Yeah. We think the song is meaning that if there were no reason for people to disagree, period, well, if God is real, then Satan is meaning. That if there were no reason for people to disagree, period, well, if God is real and then Satan is real,

then there will always be a rift. So the song should have said, imagine if Satan had not been a jerk who literally turned over the apple cart. Imagine if Satan had not been a jerk who literally turned over the apple cart. No,'s try let's try imagine if satan had not been a jerk

who literally turned over the apple cart no it's good it's good i like it i like it very very good yeah so again you know what i actually need some celebrities to say that instead in black and white into their phones in their second backyards for me to really feel it so again that would make me feel that would make me that would make me a hot for the biden that so again that would make me feel that would make me that would make me hot for the biden that's what that would make me honestly if a bunch of celebrities redid imagine but it was all things like satan was a jerk who upset the apple cart whoa kristin wig what are you selling imagine if if Satan had not been a jerk. There you go.

There you go. Are we finished, people? I don't know. Are you finished? I don't know. You're the one that asked me to read this shit. So again,

can you imagine a world where nobody believes in God? Yep. We just did. Good. All right, good. I'm glad where nobody believed in God? Yep, we just did. Good. Alright, good. I'm glad you keep it up. No things would not be better. Nuh-uh. Sorry. His presence of his Holy Spirit is the only thing keeping this world from imploding.

Actually, if there was no God, then he would have no spirit to share. No helper for us. Thus, the world would already be imploding on itself. So why? Why is there still hope in the world?

I feel like he was going for... Boy, I don't know about that. His post hasn't aged well. I feel like he was going for some kind of checkmate statement, but it's so terribly written that. Well, I got three whole more lines here.

We're going to be fine. What is on the hook with Bigfoot? Now you're just talking about Jesus. Come on. No, are you acting like they're not the same? Do you see how finding form of proof can come from thought of what is known? Aha. There's a whole lot of nothing.

Do you see why Satan would want this? Comma separation. I do not. Gossip? Question mark. We are analyzing so we may learn. Oh, analyze away. The song Heavy Cross fucking rules.

It's great. It's pretty good. Stock photography. Awesome. Well, cool. We learned so much about Bigfoot. Was Bigfoot mentioned at all in that screen? No. I don't think so. Well, I was using a code name.

Jesus. Alright. So, in a nutshell, I would like you to go make sure you're in the document for this one because SecretGage in 69 has done a whole bunch of editing.

So, now we have proof. We have proof here by our author that Bigfoot are Nephilim. And if you'll just start us off with In the Beginning, please. In the Beginning. Genesis 6.4

tells us that there were giants in the earth in those days. And also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men, which were of old men of renown. Google agrees. Okay, awesome. Sons of God are often referred to as the angels that betrayed God. God are often referred to as the angels that betrayed God. It has been said that they were jealous that God created man,

humankind and loved us so much. These are the fallen angels. Oh, that's pretty messy. That's pretty messy angels. I mean, come on. God's a big man.

He's got a lot of love to spread. The offspring were giant superhumans called the Nephilim. Some Bigfoot believers think that Sasquatch are descended from the Nephilim somehow, someway. Great! Thanks! Somehow, someway? Okay. Our lead investigator at Bigfoot Eruption believes

this. If you listen to shows like SasquatchCarnicles.com you'll hear this a lot as a theory presented by some very knowledgeable researchers and or eyewitnesses. I was there when God be.

In most cases, these have studied the Bible, the Apocrypha, and other historic documents. Sasquatch Chronicles is a podcast with 688 episodes. Oh, we got to pick up the pace, folks. We got to.

We haven't even touched the face of God once. Subscribing members only, obviously. How many Bigfoot episodes have we done? Two? Three? We got to. I mean, it's easy if every day you log in and go Bigfoot or Nephilim. I and go Bigfoot or Nephilim I keep hearing Bigfoot or Nephilim

Goodbye The host name is Vez Germer Gary Wayne did the work for us Explained Wyman Smith one day As we were texting back and forth about Gary Wayne's book See book below. Then the initial

Nephilim were the first generation of this unholy union and for this are especially condemned. The descendants of the Nehilim are just that. Descendants of the Nephilim and are not referred to as Nephilim,

but giants. They gave their children a pee. Yeah. They're like snitches. That's a different document, Lemon. The fallen angels, also condemned because of wanting to

play God, creating a bloodline that was and is meant to destroy the bloodline of Adam, which was God's creation. Now it makes more sense why God had the children of Israel destroy so many in the Old Testament of the Bibles. That makes more sense now? Yeah, now it makes more sense. Giants were everywhere.

Oh. It was a war of survival or be eradicated from the planet. Now it makes more sense. Giants were everywhere. Oh. It was a war of survival or be eradicated from the planet. Basically, the line of Cain mixed with fallen angels versus Seth, the son of Adam. There's so little Bigfoot stuff in all of these people's ramblings. Yeah, yeah. Bigfoot or the Nephilim. Anyway, Bible shit. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Bigfoot or the Nephilim. Anyway, Bible shit. Yeah. Even before that, the pre-flood giants were everywhere in cahoots with the line of Cain, which made for a very evil group, all literally hellbent at destroying the line of Adam and his son Seth again, which was God's creation. Awesome. So then there's like some sort of like a flood.

I understand that floods happen with some frequency in thepus. Awesome. So then there's some sort of flood. I understand that floods happen with some frequency in the Bible. But then there's giants after the flood, right? Can you tell me about the giants after the flood? Giants obviously survived the flood because the Israelite are fighting them as the account of the Exodus records. And more,

evidence of this. And because they're so tall that the water didn't reach up past their necks. It was like they just waded out. It wasn't even a flood for them. Just sit in the water, fellow giants, and we shall wait.

King Og. Deuteronomy. I'm sorry, I'm probably mispronouncing a real Bible word. 3. 3. 11. King Og is referenced as the last giant who had survived the flood. More on this.

I love it when we brace ourselves for a misspelling and it doesn't come. It's like, oh. King Og is a real guy in the Bible, too. My brain is pretty much at the point of how many E's are there in reference? Samuel 17, 1-58. That's probably still great.

Goliath the Philistine. If you get the book by Gary Wayne or see the YouTube video above, you will see how many giant societies were around before and after the flood. So there was a war to destroy the bloodline of Adam by Satan, the fallen angels, and the line of Cain. It is no wonder God had the Israelites destroy so many because it was a war to survive extinction. The Nephilim were already cross-bredding, infiltrating the bloodline. Sounds good. Sounds good. This makes a lot of sense. I'm into this.

Could you tell me anything about Dogman? Dogman. I love this guy. Dogman, Dogman, Dogman. Interdimensional. A lot of words. Oh, good man. Yes. Sasquatch Chronicles

is one source that has mentioned the Egyptians' worship of the Anubis had jackal and half human had jackal and half human may not be a made up thing. Might not be. Might not be. Anubis might actually exist.

Prove me wrong. either by bestiality and inbreeding which admittedly does not seem possible but they did seem to have a love for this sort of relationship but they're the expert

yeah if not this then certainly demon related or both what we are saying man fuck Jackal therefore Anubis what we are saying

is that these Anubis creatures may have walked among them. Fact. The Egyptians worshipped them. A.K.A. The Dog Man. Okay. Also mentioned in Sasquatch Carnivals is that it seems in the last five

years, people are starting to see the Dog Man with more frequency and even in association with Bigfoot sightings, Meaning there is a connection. I saw Bigfoot and his pet, the dog man. Exact podcast reference pending. Oh dear.

Feel free to use this. The Bible says pending search of the book of Revelation, that near the end, in these end times, that these things slash events will start happening faster and faster. Thus, again, a relation of the events matching up. It has been learned, pending search of the Apocrypha in the Bible, that the Lord is keeping secretive creatures set aside for the end torment. It has been learned, you know, if we were bothered to learn it. Learned it right now. It has been learned. Citation needed. So we're going to

be moving from, uh, well, actually, no, we're going to be staying on Bigfoot eruption. Anyway, here are the things you need to know, okay? Finally. The things that you need to know. Be aware. Be alert. Stay alive. Warning.

These creatures may look somewhat like us in shape, but do not forget that they are animals. Dangerous creatures. It is very important for you to be aware of. Even the possibility that these Bigfoot creatures are or may be in your area. Seriously.

It's not wise to ignore the evidence. The evidence. I like to ignore evidence. Comma. Does not lie. Oh. I could hear the eyebrows shooting up. Full on Stephen Colbert on that one.

First, you should protect yourself. I advise a.38 or a.357, a.40 or a.45 or a larger caliber handgun and a.30 caliber. A.50, a.65, a.75. You are here,.79,.79. All the speeds I can't drive. Sold!

And a.30 caliber and a larger rifle or a shotgun, a.12 or a.20 gauge loaded with rifle slugs. I just like gun numbers. Your Isfahan impression is dead on. Okay, thanks.

I also carry a canister of bear spray! Oh, nice. I learned how to use it. I watched a video. It's also a bug. I'm going to guess step two or three is spray the thing attacking you yeah aim away from base oh i guess i didn't learn how to use it because that's not what i do at all yeah and learn how to use it watch a video or whatever the mailman loves delivering mail to

this guy's place it's also advisable to avoid going outside after dark, people in some of our southern states, or SEs, which is just a term that we all use, you know, the SEs, have done this for centuries. I know that there are dangerous cryptid creatures outside after dusk. These southern Americans are aware of these dangerous creatures, but for some reason, people on the Pacific Coast seem to be unaware of this? Why

is this? Because we're all Sasquatch here, buddy. Isfahan, what does this evidence look like? Well, I'll tell you what this evidence looks like. The signs slash evidence that a Sasquatch, a Bigfoot, may be present are tree breaks, hanging broken branches, tree leans,

tree structures, footprints, X's, poo, etc. And question mark. Wait, he leaves X's like like instead of his signature or. Yeah. These Sasquatch creatures can hide almost anywhere. I know because I have been experiencing this for the past three years. He's been seeing trees for three years.

I've been seeing broken branches too. Broken branches. A footprint every once in a while. Trees that are not fully upright. You know? They come out at night when we are asleep just like other predators do.

They will often lay down flat in tall grass or in a shallow ditch slash dip in a pasture or behind low brush slash bushes. Why do you keep doing that, man? We know what... Okay. To hid from you. Will they wear a ghillie suit?

Shit, maybe. Ghillie slash sniper suit, yes. They seem to just disappear? I have seen them do this. I have heard that. I should get rid of that question mark. You do not want these creatures near your house, nor in your barn, nor near your outhouse, if applicable. Who are you talking to?

All the Prospectors. Did you ever find that gold? Yeah, I was going to say all the Prospectors. They can look right through that little moon cutout and see you. What the hell? Consorted? Did you ever find that gold? Yeah, I was going to say all the prospectors. He's talking. They can look right through that little moon cut out and see. It's true. Get out of here. Go on now.

Don't make me get my bear spray. I learned how to use it on the YouTube. Yup, yup. Thus, it is necessary to cut away all brush, all tall grass, and any dead trees. This is an ad lib, but you can easily do this by just setting fire to the stuff you don't want. Burn down your own house, dude. Shit stinks.

Actually, you should remove any type of obstacle that these predatory-type creatures may hide behind as far back away from your home as possible similar to how one should do to prevent the threat of a wildfire okay but they can they can hide in in bushes and tall grass that's why you burn down everything yeah you need to you need to just plow you just need to burn down everything your house your wife everything raise it all i have heard it stated again i always love it all. I have heard it stated, again, I always love when people do, I have heard it stated by myself in a mirror that these Bigfoot type creatures

can hide in 18 inch high grass. These aren't very Bigfoots. Those are leprechauns. They lay flat and they have no butt to speak of. No booty on the big foot. No donker.

I also advise you to buy a good spotlight or a powerful flashlight. 500 lunims or higher or a million candle power. You probably will be using it a lot. Alright. Okay. Got it.

Alright, so I burned down everything I've ever known Just got a flashlight Stop shitting in that little closet That I had outside That will blind any passerby that comes Up at 2am, just chugging espresso Like, you know, cradling your Double barrel shotgun, just with a twitch in your eye

No, I burned down my shotgun too I just wanted to make sure That's great for you guys, you flashlight enthusiasts But you're gonna need this next piece of information If you're really gonna survive No, I burned down my shotgun too. I just wanted to make sure. That's great for you guys, you flashlight enthusiasts, but you're going to need this next piece of information if you're really going to survive. Pay attention to your dog. Okay. I burned down my dog.

Is that going to be a problem? Yes. This is really important. I'm going to hide behind my dog. This is really important. Pay attention. Even if your dog or dogs seem to cower and

crawl under the porch or deck and whine this is not normal behavior and should alert you they may be smart dogs maybe hopefully they will growl or bark and give you some type

of warning. Yeah. One thing, one thing that I've learned about dogs is they never, ever, ever, ever, ever bark at nothing. Every time, every time that a dog barks at something, you know that it's an actual emergency and you should deal with it. Mm hmm. Yeah, they don't do it just because it feels good. While my two guard dogs would bark ferociously, and I would respond by going outside onto my upper deck and shine my flashlight across the hillside

to see what was the cause of their barking was. Question mark, period, question mark. question mark I would really I would rarely tell my dogs to shut up because every time I did this they made me hour to be the fool my dogs told me to shut up

I've seen that happen it's funny once I learned what all the noise was about nutshell you think you take your first sighting please oh god okay my first sighting one cold December night in 2015 when this happened I went outside and shinned my weak 200

lunum flashlight ugh how embarrassing the flashlight enthusiast they're getting so mad do you even flash bro it's lumen it's lumen you fool it's lunum 200 so mad. Do you even flash, bro? It's looming. It's looming, you fool.

200. My weak looming flashlight across the landscape at about 1 o'clock a.m. Approximately 108 yards away, what I saw was a single red eye shining back at me.

So how 9000? It looked away. Then in a few seconds, shining back at me. So Hal 9000? It looked away. Then in a few seconds, looked back at me again. Then it disappeared into the darkness. Dumbfounded and confused, I had no idea what I had just witnessed. I had just saw the

unbelievable. An eye! Whatever it was, I had just saw it. This is the beginning of a surprisingly long journey of becoming educated to what has been is hidden from us by who? By our government

officials. That's right. By Fish and Wildlife, by the state police or the sheriff and definitely by the FBI. Yeah. They will all blame it on a bear. All of them. Just because it was a bear. Including that red eye.

It was not a bear. Hello? Bears have big round ears. Which I did not see. I only saw an eye. Bears have a long stout legged dog. Bears don't have eyes. Bears walk around on all fours most of the time.

A Bigfoot has tiny little ears, almost unnoticeable. A flat nose and walks upright most of the time. A Bigfoot looks nothing like a bear. A Bigfoot does look a lot like a bear. Sorry, folks, but yeah, QTD, bro. Like a lot. Like a lot.

I know all this sounds kind of crazy, but if you start looking into the subject of Bigfoot encounters on YouTube, YouTube will discover. Is that Kmart's knockoff YouTube? YouTube. I don't want my game YouTube star to get sued. I'll just spell it this way.

YouTube will discover there's a Bigfoot cover-up going on, which I believe is leading hundreds slash thousands of innocent people unaware of this unknown danger. Oh, I thought that was just when Bigfoots tucked you in at night. At this point, I will refer you to the missing 411 books written by David

Paulides, concerning the hundreds of people who have gone missing in our state state national parks, including our national forests, and it doesn't end there either. These animals know no boundaries. It's true. They're always like stepping into my virtual space. They're asking me personal questions.

They're asking me about my sexual history. It's fucked up. Sure. So I'm looking at these seems to be fiction. Oh, never mind. It's not. It's never mind it's not I believe these Sasquatch Bigfoot creatures are just about everywhere I do not live near The national parks or the national forest

You know that one national forest Yeah that one Not even within 10 miles no But I do live within a few miles Of a small town and there are many Non-reported other sightings all around here. Well, thank you for answering what nobody asked. Well, back to my sightings. This happened again about 10 days later.

I saw the red eye shine again. Eventually, I learned this was a Sasquatch. Yes, a Bigfoot-type creature. It was living on this hillside with me. By learned, I mean made up. Months later, in the spring of 2016, a large rock

hit the south side of my house at about 1 a.m. I was here all alone then. I knew what had thrown this rock at my house, but I did not play along with the games these creatures will play, trying to get us to come outside and pay attention to them. Bigfoot are puppet masters.

Bigfoot wanted you to sneak out while your parents were asleep. I could have been hit with the next rock. Don't take the bait. Don't be their next target slash victim. Target slash victim. The picture above shows two broken hanging branches.

The smaller one is much older. The other, maybe only a few years old. This shows me that these Sasquatch creatures have been around this area in the past as well as the last few years. Yeah, that wasn't the past. This guy does have photographic evidence of trees with broken branches. Like, he's photographed more than one tree with a broken branch. These are signs or symbols of some type.

It may have meaning. Oh, it's Blair Witch, of course. Or some urgent urban ranger type doing trail signs in the wrong area. Big-breasted woman in this house. It may have meaning to other

suburbanite Bigfoot creatures that might pass through the area. Suburbanite Bigfoot. We're just talking about hairy white dudes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was the suburbanite creatures after there was the spate

of brown flight in the 50s. Did suburbanite Sasquatch fight in the ECW? It is amazing what you may learn once you have learned what to look for. You need to educate yourself. Suburbanite Sasquatch

is actually the plot of Harry and the Hendersons. I learned so much from this one tree. Symbols for other suburbanite Sasquatches Why were some Why were some question marks

In the parentheses Were those the Jewish question marks From the one tree So the one tree was like the Rosetta Stone Oh Alright That's okay So the one tree was like the Rosetta Stone. Oh. Oh. All right. That's okay.

Well, this brings it all together. Thank you. Thank you. F plus. Listen to your dogs. Do not be fooled. These Bigfoots can hide and live where you may think they cannot. So why would these Sasquatch creatures start moving to your or our area? Well, as with other animals, we may start observing due to their loss of their habitat

as a result of a forest or grass fire. Predators usually hunt at night. The Bigfoot caravan is coming. They're coming to your neighborhoods. Bigfoot Antifa is coming. Predators usually hunt at night Yes, when I saw the red eyeshine Of something unknown to me three years ago Which was like December of 2015

I was not fully aware of what I was actually looking at But I knew that I was looking at some type of creature But due to the limitations of the light That I was using at the time I was looking at something, I'm pretty sure I, okay, okay, here, here, here This is just logic, right sure I, okay. Okay. Here, here,

here. I was just, this is just logic, right? I knew, okay. I was looking at something, right?

I knew that this, I knew that the, something I was looking at was a creature and, and Bigfoot is a creature. Right. But due to the limitations of the light that I was looking at the time, I was unaware of what it was actually observing. Like with so many other sightings in the beginning,

we ask questions, we need answers. What creature has red eyes? A Sasquatch. Really? Wow. A Bigfoot here. No kidding.

You need a good light. You need to know how important it is to have a very powerful light so you can see what others are looking at. This is very important. Cheap may not be better. Unlike in every other case in history. I'm using handheld flashlights from 500 to 850 lunums. Really? Okay, again.

And a 10-watt LED rechargeable spotlight, which is equal to 1,000 lunums. That's what I think the word is. Why does he think it's lunums? It's a lot of lunums, man. Yeah, no, yeah. This is a screed after he got kicked off the flashlight forums. So, realizing that the creatures

are actually living around here, please note that it is no easy thing to admit that the Bigfoot or Sasquatch creatures may be living on the same location that you are. Not everyone will admit this. Just the thought of the Sasquatch living in your area scares most people. You follow? Yeah.

You know, if the Bigfoots are in your area, this scares most people, even causing some to move. So if you find a really great deal on a remote home or a property in the country, buyer beware. There could have been Sasquatches harassing previous owners. I mean, I've seen that movie. Harassing previous owners. Just talking shit on Facebook. A realtor has to disclose.

So it's a beautiful house. It's got a fireplace. It's got hardwood floors. I will tell you, it isn't a Sasquatch neighborhood. Oh. Are you legally allowed to say that?

No. You really need to at least consider the possibility of Bigfoots. Bigfoots. All right. That's the plural. Bigfoots. Being in the area because, as unbelievable as this may seem, they could be living there. I have lived here for 11 years and never saw any sign of Sasquatch around here until three years ago.

But, but, I did not know what to look for back then like I do now. Branches. Thank you, YouTube. Yay! The internet makes everything better. Bunny Red, what should we all be looking out for? Alright, okay. I know we've been having a lot of fun here, folks.

A little bit. Come on, let's get on down here. And since we said southeast, I get to do what I'm going to do. Oh, good. Oh, good. All right. Hey, fuck! Oh, fuck.

All right, guys. Hang on. I thought you were taking us to the panhandle. You went in a different direction. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nohandle. You went in a different direction. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay.

Listen up, listen up, listen up. Okay. I'll try. I swear to God, I'll try. You go. You're going to do better than try. All right. We got to learn now what to look for.

Because these creature singular are so elusive. So unbelievable. Oh! Keep going. I'll let you get it out of your system. All right. We set? Yes, sir. KLF is going to rock you.

Most anyone who lives close to you probably will not believe what you tell them. Even, even now, if you got the proof slash evidence of these creatures. Like branches, like broken branches. I was going to say a crazy person comes up to me with sticks and says, Sasquatch. Creatures now, even if you saw one, they may still, still choose not to believe you. Unless, I too, I too, may be hearing or seeing these creatures! Space exclamation point. Pause.

All right. Yes, read out the punctuation. That's right, yep. I personally know people living only a few miles outside this small town. You're kidding. Yeah, I know people. Oh. I'm sure they all know you, too.

They all are. Anyways, they're living only a few miles outside this small town. You find a 17-inch Sasquatch track on the property. Like when they go dirt biking? Yup. Okay. No, Sasquatch laid his dong down. He's doing okay. So anyways, it was on the property they purchased some years ago.

So anyways, it was on the property they purchased some years ago. This same area has had several of the Sasquatch sightings that I know of several. That I know of several. Several got in it. I speaks the English. You don't. The next occurrence that happened here, where I'm living, went right over my head. You wouldn't believe that shit. The Sasquatch? Something right over my head. You wouldn't believe that shit.

The Sasquatch. Something went over my head. Anything whatsoever. Like superfly Jimmy Snuka. Just zipped on over there. I had shots of coyote right in the moonlight. 11 p.m. One summer night, which is totally legal in this state.

Now I want to make sure. Sure. Yeah. Got it. Yeah.m. One summer night, which is totally legal in this state now. I want to make sure. Sure. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Okay. In the morning, when I went to have a look at the dead little critter, but it was gone. Something, maybe a bar, maybe a cougar, had come within 80 yards of my home during the night, and it had eaten up that coyote.

Agreed. Yes, correct. Okay, but, but, hang on now. This was a type of wake-up call for me, and I missed it. You need to know that some predators out there are not afraid to use. This is considered aggressive behavior. But it's not, though, because they were eating carrion. It was a coyote that you had already shot.

It was easy prey. That's not aggressive behavior. If he even shot it. Not being afraid of me is aggressive behavior. I'm going to kill my life if I just shoot you. All I found, other coyote that I had shot was a small piece of coyote fur

and a very large array of flattened out grass that had been about nine inches tall plus an overly large elongated poop. Wait, wait, wait. How much you want to bet he's got that thing in

a Tupperware container somewhere to plot his evidence for people? Look at this goddamn thing. Say a squad should digest coyotes at an extreme pace. Look at this goddamn thing right here. I mean, I mean, it was very large. Like three inches by 18

wow that is large definitely large super good that's a big old goddamn that's a real big i'm intimidated by that turd yeah i agree Yeah, I agree. Woo! Look at that thing. Dang. God damn. I had that mounted above my fireplace. It was something. You can put sunglasses on it and then put it in a TGI Fridays. Yeah.

All right. So anyways, that big old goddamn shit, which I unconsciously passed off as a bear shit. Wrong. Wrong. Pause. Oh, God. Goddamn. This is what happens. This is what happens when we do not know the difference between bear shits and Sasquatch shits.

Okay. Yeah, this is what happens. This is what happens. This is what happens. Literally nothing. This completely what happens. This is what happens. Literally nothing. This completely consequence-free event is a warning to the rest of us.

I don't mount and stuff my bear shits. That's what does a difference. I looked at a big shit once. Probably the highlight of his life. No, no, no. I didn't just look at that big shit. I nursed that shit back to health. I love that shit.

That shit had a broken wing. Oh, darling, somebody's left this shit on our door. Hold on, now that shit could have been from Krypton. Finally, a shit of a very old. God has answered our prayers.

Remember how we was praying for a big ol' turn When the doctor told us that she could not shit She couldn't shit We're getting so much mileage out of this giant shit I mean it's a big shit Not as much as this dude Not as much as this fucking guy though He's got a goddamn career out of it Big shit, lots of bits

Yeah, alright, now, you need to know these things, so educate yourself. I look back on this and say, I was so wrong. I can admit that now. This scat, this poo, this turd, this turdunkin' was way, way,

way, way too big for any black bar that we have around her. No, no too big. And in that bar that we have around her. No, no, sir. No, sir. I'll tell you, it's in front of God and in front of all these police you had keep calling to my house. No, this was Sasquatch Pug. Okay.

Now I'm picturing like just like super fast red and blue lights flashing against this guy's face as he's talking. Sitting out on his porch. I told y'all. Got a robe halfway on. Now, this here was Sasquatch poop, but I was totally in the words or uneducated. Oh, I'm sure you were never that. No. One thing I've been educated about is turds.

I was back then. But now, I wonder if these creatures were trying to tell me they were living here. Well, did they draw a map on the poop? Question mark, question mark. Yeah, this is like national treasure. I came here for Sasquatch facts, and I'm learning more about you and your poo obsession. It ain't an obsession.

I can quit at any time I goddamn want to. I did not realize that these Bigfoot animals slash creatures were around her at the time. And I am not so sure that they have been here all year, every year. But I am sure that they are now, sir. Due to circumcised circumstances. So you continue to write a lot. And I'm not going to say you repeat yourself.

I do not. But there is a section that is titled pay attention to your dog. What about the section after that? What is that entitled? It's called things to look for. Oh, you know, like tree breaks and broken branches.

Also turds. Oh yeah, probably, probably. It's not advisable to venture outside after dark. Anyway, okay, so in a nutshell, I have a question for you. If you'll scroll down to, looks like page 24 in this document. Yeah.

I've been convinced by Bunnybread screaming it's very convincing sort of yelled into submission and so I'm in I believe in this I definitely I think I'm going to just tell authorities about this I'm going to tell the authorities about Bigfoot and everything will get better right

please note that the authorities, the Department of Fish and Wildlife, Department of Forestry, maybe even the State Police or the Sheriff, will most likely try to convince you that you have saw a bear. You're kidding. What? What? Well, make sure

you never repeat yourself to the authorities. Why do these people, these so-called authorities, try to convince us that we saw a bear instead of a Sasquatch. It is obvious. They are trying to cover up the fact that these Bigfoot creatures exist. These two animals look entirely different. For example,

one has ears. They're on the payroll. Also, nobody likes a snitch. Yeah, there's that too. Goddamn. The Bigfoot looked at me and drew his thumb across his throat. The government knows all about Bigfoot looked at me and drew his thumb across his throat. The government knows all about Bigfoot already, and they are trying to cover all this up. Oh, yes.

Fish and wildlife, park rangers, and especially FBI, will all try to tell you, to convince you, that you saw a bear, even if you tell them that you did not see a bear. Especially the FBI. It did not have big round ears like a bear. It did not have a long dog-like snout like a bear has. And it had fingers on its hands like a man, but larger, not a paw. It also walked on two legs like a man.

It was not wobbly like a bear is on two legs. So the FBI is working in lockstep with Fish and Wildlife in this particular case? Yeah. It's all connected, man. It's all connected. They're briefing each other on a nightly basis. So in conclusion, if the authorities already know and are covering this up, then you need someone else to confide in. All right.

Well, fine. Then I can't. I can't. Okay. I suggest the person you have tied up in your basement. No, that's Bigfoot. Okay. I can't. Okay. Okay. Just the person you have tied up in your basement. No, that's Bigfoot. Okay. So no problem.

I can't. It's fine. I can't trust the authorities. And we had to get all those guns. We had to get all the guns. I guess I'll just kill it. Oh, no. Don't kill it.

Okay. Don't shoot to kill a Bigfoot unless it is charging at you or another person, man. If you shoot and kill the Bigfoot, it's buddy is watching. Use the money system. That's good. That's good. Buddy is always watching. Yeah, always got a buddy. It's buddy is watching and it will then kill you.

So it needs to be a last resort. This buddy is watching and it will then kill you. So it needs to be a last resort. Okay. Come on. Don't kill it because it has friends. Bigfoot's got a posse. Alright, alright. So, Jesus. Okay, then do you have another suggestion

if I can't kill the Bigfoot? Well, you can call on his name. Woo! Wes on the Sasquatch Chronicles dot com told a guest speaker once that even atheists apostrophes have said that once

confronted by Bigfoot, that suddenly they cried out to God or Jesus through prayer. So no surprise that I would recommend the power of God slash Jesus in surviving a Bigfoot encounter. Personally, I've heard it stated God, every time.

I've heard it stated a few times that when these creatures hear a state in the name Yahshua, Yahusha, Jesus, go away. Inuyasha? No, that would be more likely to help you out than, because Inuyasha had a sword Yahusha Jesus go away

they have turned and walked away oh so it's like vampires in the cross yeah sure we have very unfortunately named person Elliot Ness of BigfootEruption.com what's the skinny Bigfoot what's the scoop what's the half Elliot Ness of BigfootAdoption.com. What's the skinny, Bigfoot?

What's the scoop? What's the half? Elliot Ness and his untouchable speed toward Bigfoot's hideout, who is the head of the Chicago bootlegging operation. You want me to write your epitaph on this here Chicago tie-breaker? I'd listen to that podcast.

And my website partner has a theory that Bigfoot does not harm God-feeling people. Well, I, Wyman Smith of 911bigfoothelp.com, which is also located at the same website as bigfooterushin.com, but that's fine, certainly hope and pray that Elliot is right. At least that's what he said his name was when I asked him. As a retired minister, I would like to add that knowing his words and walking in his

ways, his instructions, could be a great help also. At least you may have a greater chance in this spiritual warfare. Oh! So Bigfoot was trying to convert you to, like, Judaism, or what? What the fuck? What does he think was happening?

May I have moment of time? Yeah. Have you ever believed in world beyond this? I have good news. Would you like to take personality test? Also take flower. Wow. Bigfoot is a Unitarian, isn't he?

Makes sense. And then, and then I think, Adam, if you'll just leave us with the end of this document here. You've got a particle of wisdom for us. Just a single particle of wisdom. If one is confronted by a Bigfoot creature face to face and they fear immediate death is at hand you may just pray out loud in the name of Yahushua

Jesus our Messiah Lord God Almighty please Lord please Lord God Almighty please have this creature syllables to Jesusesus's name i feel like does god just not

appreciate brevity no no god created all things and likes to hear all things please god hey god please please please please god please god god's upon his cloud and he's like waving his hand around in that hurry up motion.

I have heard that this has happened before and the creature did walk away. I guess if it didn't work, this would be the right thing to do before dying. Praying to God Almighty. Oh, I see. Pascal's wager. Got it. Yeah. praying to god almighty oh i see paschal's wager got it yeah yes calling out in the savior's name or commanding it to leave in the savior's name might work i lean more to god almighty myself

that's the phrasing i choose so if you so if you see a big foot you go god oh my god another fucking big foot it's more of an art than a science Thus consider the power of calling on The name of the almighty god Known as Yaa So if you need to call upon him You'll say hey ya

Hey ya So you say you don't believe it? Well, when faced by Sasquatch, let me know if you reconsider. Sure, there's no atheists in a Sasquatch hole. Bigfoot is descendant of the Nephilim, offspring of unions made by fallen angels and humans, and that means Bigfoot has a demonic heritage if bigfoot are the beasts mentioned in the book of revelation as the beasts that come out to kill mankind dot dot dot if bigfoot all the creature mentioned in the book of Enoch as those beasts reserved in secret dot dot dot

whatever Bigfoot is pure evil is often the synopsis after an encounter pure evil is opposite of an almighty God use his name the word

God is a descriptive word. Okay, okay. So it's not... So God's name actually isn't God. What is his actual name? His name is actually Almighty God. Okay, so that's it then.

It's the last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah! It's Al-Mighty God. Al-M-God. Al-Mighty God. ElM-God Al-Mighty God El Shaddai Jehovah Yah

What did we learn from any of this F Plus? I learned slash was educated by so many things in this doc I've learned to listen to my dogs It took me a while Always listen to your dogs I will repeat myself as many times it takes for you to listen to my dogs. You should always listen to your dogs. I will repeat myself as many times it takes for you to listen to your dogs.

I don't know if I learned new stuff about Bigfoot. Yeah, I don't. I had things confirmed that I suspected about Bigfoot. Well, this is, I mean, it's interesting how Stark is in contrast to the Joan Ocean Bigfoot, because obviously the Joan Ocean

I was thinking of Joan Ocean Yeah, they're sort of like beautiful, beatific like sort of star creatures that can sort of time jump and fart communications, but these things are just like evil, they're just like evil but like not in a way that's impressive

like the only evil action that they've done in this entire document is eat a coyote that was already dead. Well, wait, wait, they learned how to hide. So that's,

I think that's actually what I've learned from this episode is that Bigfoot reflects what's in your head. So if you're just, if you're just a scavenger by nature. Yeah. Like, I just don't, I don't, I mean, okay, so sure. Like, if it's an animal, like, with glowing red eyes, I mean, that's scary, right? Nobody wants to be encountered by it.

Glowing red eye, singular, sir. Glowing red eye, yeah, so it's the Cyclops. Like, an animal with a glowing red eye, that's scary. But I don't really, I mean, other than just sort of being satanic, which I'm not really sure where he got that eye. That's scary. But I don't really I mean, other than just sort of being satanic, which I'm not really sure where he got that from. I'm not. OK, sure. Simple as that.

You shouldn't put you shouldn't put red in this painting. It's going to make people think of Satan. Yeah. That's why Valentine's is, you know, illegal. Well, that heart of the heart shape makes people think of butts so yeah well well you pervert i learned that you got to take care of your thinker because otherwise you may shine a bear at at one o'clock in the morning and then you'll devote eight years to thinking that you

saw a sasquatch yeah yeah yeah yeah and everyone and every time that someone goes sir it was probably a bear that just proves your point even more yeah you weren't there man i had like 900 lunims on him shit man i was using a mag light from a half a mile away, sir. These things take D batteries. D batteries. D! You know what letter of the alphabet that is? Goddamn. Oh, why do you put the cuffs on me? Agent whatever your name is.

You can break those cuffs, Bunny Bread. I can't. You can't break those cuffs. Ah! Only Sasquatch. Sasquatch could. Our website is sasquatch. website is There's some fun new things on there Merch has been completely resorted We are doing a run of shirts

Which is cool As well as some other fun things We're going to be doing an art book very soon Which is neat Yeah and ball pit Bye Bye Goodbye In 67 is neat. Yeah. And ball pit. Bye. See ya. Bye.

Goodbye. In 67, a van load of hippies told a park ranger named Quinlan they'd been awakened in the night by a scratch at the window. There was a dog man looking in and grinning. And somewhere in the Northwoods darkness, a creature walks upright. And the best advice you may ever get is don't go out at night.