The F Plus - 347: That Hyperboard Over Thair

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

Men love to go on the internet and compare length. In this case, it's just their hair. We're going to be surfing The Information Superhighway and logging on to The Men's Long Hair Hyperboard; a community which has been supporting long hair-having men since at least 1997. It's actually kind of charming. This week, The F Plus wants you to call us to let us know when you're not posting.

That guy is a thot. Yeah. That hair over there. Ah, yes. She asks me why I'm just a hairy guy I'm hairy noon and I'm Harry Noon and Night. Hair that's a fright.

I'm Harry High and Low. Don't ask me why. Don't know. It's not for lack of bread. Like the grateful dead Darling Gimme a head with hair Long beautiful hair Oh hello, it's the F Plus Podcast

A silky smooth and nourishing place With terrible things Right with enthusiasm In the room tonight we have Boots, ring, ear William in Chicago 50-something eclectic man Information technology professional by day Ballroom dancer by night enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Ring Ear, William in Chicago, 50 something eclectic man, information

technology professional by day, ballroom dancer by night. Achilles Heelys. I want to be able to stand on my hair. Nutshell Gulag. I've not trimmed my beard nor hair since June

2012. More than 22 months. No stopping now. Yay! It's Zarla! Seems to me that it is mostly short-haired people who apply the peer pressure on long hairs to donate their hair. And Lemon, I must say I was happy with the

resluts. Lemon picking out the only sluts in the entire board. Yep. Just like in real life. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hey, do you all have web browsers in front of you? I do see bar in your web browser is mlhh.org.

Okay. Sure. I don't love it. It says it's not secure. Yeah, it sure isn't secure. I'm now at the men's long hair hyperboard. Oh, wow.

On the internet superhighway. Oh, wow. On the internet superhighway. Oh, wow. This hyperboard scrolls for a really long time. Wow, it does. It's like seeing a trilobite crawling on the beach. There's something oddly nostalgic about the forum layout here to me. Oh, yeah, definitely. I love how little of my screen this forum takes up.

I'm sure glad somebody took this and made a document for us out of it so we don't have to actually navigate this. Well, you could just use control F, couldn't you? It's all here on one page. So, for those of you listening, the men's long hair hyperboard

is the left 600 or so pixels are taken up by a forum. Now, here's the thing about forums. Sometimes they dissect things into categories. No. What the men's long hair hyperboard has figured out is that everything is on one page. for what I figured out is that everything is on one page. Every single post for looks like

20... Sorry, I'm sorry. Six years. Every single post for six years is all in one thread on one page. Yeah, dates back to 2015. So the lizard gave us a doc and I guess presumably

just went through this site top to bottom. Just click through every one of these. This is our second document from the lizard, and we're going to start off with some rules. So these are the rules for the men's long hair hyperboard. I like the hyperboard. We need to use the term hyperboard. Yeah, we do. Need to bring that back.

Enter it into the hyperboard. We need to use the term hyperboard. Yeah, we do. We need to bring that back. Or enter it into the X Games. What would it take to turn ball pit into a hyperboard? Well, I just think every single post would be on one side. Oh, my God. You should make that as an alternative to ball pit. Yeah, it would be a button that's going to crash your browser. So, Boots, I know that this hyperboard has some rules.

Can you tell me some of these rules? Yes, here are the rules of the hyperboard. This board is for posting about long hair on men. Any posting on this subject that passes the rest of the rules, it's an allowable post. Oh, okay. Oh, wow oh wow okay so this is like an internally

contracting rule set yeah it's a news not maybe they're like a bunch of posts that were 2015 but they were all against the rules and they had to be deleted the dark times those were dark we got a whole bunch of bullet points here most of the rules can be summarized

stay on topic and be courteous read the board before posting to get an idea of the flavor of the site the flavor is great pick a handle or username and stick to it oh is there no login on the site? it's just

awesome that's what makes it a hyperboard. Do not include message content in a handle. For example, don't respond to a post using a creative handle name. The subject line may be used for this

purpose if constrained to only a few words. Well, okay, I've got this fun forum software, but you can't use any of the things that make it fun? Do not use someone else's handle. Oh, come on! You're ruining your own hyperboard! Do not use foul language. This site is intended for all audiences.

Repeated offenses may subject the poster to be banned from the board. Disguising foul language is considered to be worse than simply using foul language because the language is still apparent and there's additionally an intent to deceive. I mean, I would agree that disguising foul language is worse than using it. I agree.

There are no lies on the long hair forum. There's an intent to deceive. We all trust each other here. Wait a second. This F star CK. You're trying to put one over on me. If you have a picture, use the image field in the posting form to include a link to your picture. These pictures will add significantly to the content.

Unless you explicitly state in your message otherwise, submitting a picture in this way constitutes your agreement to have the picture included in a future gallery or members list page. Wow. Wow. Okay. Posting a fantasy is permitted. However, it must be clearly identified as being fantasy.

When responding to a post, make sure you reply. To remind you, this Hyperboard started in 2015. Yes, it did. Somehow. I suspect maybe they lost all the content at some point. Well, that's also possible. It started from scratch.

It was just picked up from 95 and then transplanted to 2015. I think these people all went into stasis in 95, 96, and then they've made it to today. They must tell the future about long hair on men. It's our time now. It's our time. When responding

to a post, make sure your reply is consistent with the head of the thread. If your topic has nothing to do with the original thread, start a new thread. That's why everyone just starts new threads. If you have a problem with a post, contact the moderation crew for a resolution so the board

does not get cluttered. Moderation crew coming! It's Jabbawockeez. Damn, that's one hell of a moderation ladies are welcome here however the conversation must stay on topic illustrating hairstyles with female pictures is fine for example if the attached message refers to some aspect of hairstyle on men However, if a male picture that illustrates the point just as well is also available, please use it instead This board is not a matchmaking center no personal ads

Flames if you're flamed on the board or someone else's, do not respond to the poster on the board. Contact the moderation crew with any complaints. Oh yeah, I wouldn't want to get in a flame war forum on the internet. Alright, alright. If you got in a flame war, you might lose your nice hair. So I've been clicking around and

a whole bunch of these forums have pictures of men with long hair as we would assume um but uh but achilles you are a ponytail holder isn't that true that's true hello my name is jesus for rain hello i search for a ponytail holder like the ones we can see on Highlander TV series worn by the main actor. They're also shown on Being a Long Hair.

This was written this year! 2021, yeah. 2021, baby. I had found the official Seen on TV series for sale on eBay, but I also discovered that it's just an elastic with a piece of metal. I thought that was a hair clip.

The big problem are that elastic is not replaceable being held by a bent piece of metal of course it could be replaced but you know that when you bent metal over and over again it finished to breaking due to fatigue so replacements are limited I had searched on the internet, but I found mostly stuff for women. I want something more for men. I like the ones with Celtic patterns. Ideally made with silver.

The Boston Celtics pattern. Do you know any websites where you can buy this and ship in France? So I want a ponytail holder, but it can't be for women, because, Jesus, that would ruin it. No, HeyZusu would ruin it, yeah. Like, every time I go to Target and I see the ponytail holders, it's like, only for women!

Ponytail holder? I think he means one of those things like the... Like the scrunchie, right? No, he doesn't mean a scrunchie. He means like... If he's talking about the ones on Highlander, it's more like one of those metal clippy ponytail holders.

Oh, okay. Like a butterfly clip? I always thought it was like a loop of metal that you like. It's been a long time since I've had long hair. But presumably it can't be a lady one. No, it can't be a lady one. In a nutshell, you're

a born long hair, right? Sure. Isn't that right, Eric? That's unlikely unlikely born long hair oh boy okay um born long hairs

posted by Eric hi Eric on November 20th 2020 hey guys I just wanted to reach out again. I'm getting the feeling this isn't the first time he's posted about this. And ask a quick question. So as a born long hair myself,

I've gotten extremely tired of the way we're treated and stigmatized in our societies. What? What does that mean? Like he was born with a ponytail? His placenta was all hair? I mean, what? Yeah, and the nurses in the hospital are like, NO! You destroy it!

Cast it aside! He came out of the womb doing the Grateful Dead bear dance. I want this stigma to end, and as a result, I'm planning on starting a blog that is geared specifically towards born long hairs. I want to educate the public

by providing information and interviewing as many born long hairs as possible. Yeah, I want to be educated as to exactly what a born long hair is. That's how they get you. I mean, there's children that sometimes are born with hair, and I've seen children

that are born with a certain amount of hair, like a decent amount of hair. But definitely not what you would call long hair. No. Would any of you be interested in that? I have not made the blog yet, but I plan on working on that today. If you're interested or have any questions,

please respond to this letter. Email me at... Should I say the email? No, email address. Thank you guys for continuing to be an incredible community. So, Heelys,

you just found Eric's blog here, right? Yeah, I did. So, hey, Eric, can. Yeah, I did. Oh, boy. So, hey, Eric, can you introduce me to your blog? Oh, heck yeah. Let me just click through to it.

There's a picture of your long hair. You look like the guy from Static X hasn't been to the barber in a while. You look like a black and white rendering of a McMinimins decoration. King Buzzo sees this and gets jealous. You know what's really great? Sorry, if you click on the forum link at the top, it just brings you

to a subreddit called r slash internal longhairs. The internal longhair. That doesn't sound good. That sounds real bad. I don't like that. Finally, a place where you can be yourself. You've wanted to grow your hair long since you were little,

but you've always felt like an outcast because of it. Nobody understands how important your long hair is to you, including other men with long hair. They're supposed to be your allies. And you've constantly searched for a community of men who feel the same way as you but there isn't anyone like you right maybe you're just a freak hold it right there man because i am here to tell you that you're wrong i myself am such a man and there are countless others like yourself and feel the same way i grew tired of seeing zero representation of discussings regarding men. Men like me! Me!

A man with long hair! Me! A man! Never have any representation. Me. Man. Excuse me, Eric. If I could interrupt you for a second. My name is Eric. Hi, Eric. I also am you and posted on this blog.

Oh, boy. So you're asking yourself, internal, external, and liminal long hairs. What does it mean? Okay. Yeah, I'm asking that. Yeah, that is what you're asking yourself. I can already see you scratching your head. Oh, you also found it.

Oh, boy. I can already see you scratching your head in confusion. Internal long hair, external long hair, liminal long hair. What do these words even mean? I'm sure it's subraniac. Well, I think liminal long hair means that it only exists in, like, parking structures and empty malls.

The definitions of the former two words are derived from Bill Choicers' On Being a Long Hair, which is a legendary publication that I highly recommend you look at. I'll post a link to his article, the resource page above. And then I get quieter, according to the text. According to John, there are two types of men with long hair. The font gradually gets smaller.

Yeah, the font just gets smaller, like it's a Star Wars crawl or something. Guys, I'm so scared when COVID'm so scared I'm going to meet when COVID's over, I'm going to meet Eric at a bar in LA. He's going to tell me about his long hair theories. I've got more theories I want to share with you. Okay, so there are two

types of men with long hair. They're external, or as he puts it, social long hairs. Right? Okay, yep. I. Right? Right? Okay. Yep. I'm sorry, work.

They're long hairs socially. So either you're social or you're... Okay, and then there are internal or born long hairs. The opposite of social, born. Yep. Yep. Okay. For the sake of simplicity, I've elected to rename them because I believe these new words are more broad in scope.

Nice? Yeah. I also added a third type of long hair to the discussion, which I have elected to dub liminal long hairs. Okay, so the external long hairs, formerly known as social long hairs, which was broken, are men who desire to grow their hair long for external reasons. That is not to say that external long hairs are shallow. Beings only care about their looks, even though I literally just implied that. This is like introverts and extroverts for guys with long hair, isn't it? Go long hair social.

The opposite. External long hairs grow their hair out because they believe, because something in their environment warranted it. What? Is this like a fucking shitty thing about like... You're in a hair metal band. I'm sorry, never mind. Continue.

This is just so strange. Yeah, so sometimes they may want to fit into a particular group or fashion movements or to utilize their tresses as an act of rebellion or simply to try it out. Right? Posers. If your desire to grow your hair is fleeting and only manifested after early elementary school,

chances are you're an external long hair. You might be an external long hair. After third grade, you are cut. There's no going back then. Okay, now let me go into internal long hair. That still doesn't sound good. That sounds real bad.

Formally known as born longhairs, they're men who desire to grow their hair long for internal reasons. They're far rarer than the external counterparts, but that doesn't say they're going extinct. Quite the contrary. In fact, internal longhairs feel as though their hair is part of their

very being, and without it, they may feel lost in the world. Can I interrupt for a second? You bet. Notice how he says, formerly known as Born Long Hairs? Yep. This blog post was two days after that post.

Oh my god! That was in the past, though. That was before. It's terminology. It's constantly evolving boots. You've got to keep up with the times. It's a tumultuous movement. I was very happy by that.

I'm sorry. Where the fuck? Okay. So if you've ever desperately fought and fervently wished that your hair could be long since you were very young, chances are you're an external long hair. Typically, the urge to grow your hair long occurs between birth and early elementary school. So your first thought out of the womb, or maybe even in the womb. Baby's crying. No, no, it has to be between birth.

So you can't actually think this prenatal. Baby's crying. Oh, it just wants be between birth. So you can't actually think this prenatal. Baby's crying. Oh, it just wants its hair to grow out. Ignore it. The thought of cutting your hair likely terrifies you and getting your hair cut may leave you feeling exhausted or depressed because you are literally Samson. I guess you have to fight the barber

and they have to pin you down because of your hair. That's why they have those drugs in the drawer. Hold him down! Gotta bring out the nitrous again. Perhaps you have nightmares about your haircut off. You feel

more like yourself the longer your hair grows and you will likely never cut your hair no matter the consequences. So kind of like, you know, Cousin It. Oh, what is my third category then? Okay, my third category is liminal long hairs. They're men who started their long hair journeys as external long hairs, but who eventually became internal long hairs, even though I said you couldn't do it after third grade. So this feels very Tumblr, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, it sure does. I agree with that. Add it to your Twitter bio. Abbreviate it to LLH. I'm more of a long- Not ELH. Don't interact. Okay, that's okay okay You know what?

I respect you I am a long hair ally LLH, block me now Okay Okay, so They're like the same. External long hair is only wanting to begin growing their hair in long, late childhood and beyond. Their symptoms may be extremely similar to that of internal long hair. They may have nightmares about their hair being cut off,

and they may feel more like themselves with long hair, and getting a haircut may feel like themselves getting exhausted or depressed. Obviously, not every limb in a long hair will experience these symptoms, but they are more important to note all the same. To date, there have been no recorded occurrences of internal long hairs becoming external long hairs. Please refer to the long hair Journal as close as this year. Last really funny thing about this. I mean, I don't know, Eric.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me just say, let me just say, because this is a proper research paper. So I want to say that there have been no recorded cases of internal long hairs becoming external long hairs, but this may change in the future. He just came up with this term today. but this may change in the future. He just came up with this term today. So what I think is really great about that is that, you know, hey,

maybe Eric's been, you know, studying the field for a really long time, but his posts on the long hair hyper board only go back to 2020. Let's bet the rest of it out on the field, just hiding in bushes, just looking for dudes in long hair. Yeah, so I have a subreddit, and I have this Facebook group for internal long hairs. Really made this a mission, and I've held on to my mission for, like, looks like about a week and a half I've held on to this mission. Gotta go take care of his hair. I did more.

Oh, I did several interviews with people that have long hair. You know what I'll give Eric? Eric, you have very nice long hair. So that's to you. It's nice hair. I mean, it's good looking hair. I agree with that. It's good looking hair.

Good job, Eric. All right. So that was a turn. Yeah, sorry. Hey, I just. No, no. Agre that was a turn. Yeah, sorry. Hey, I just... No, no. Agreed. Agreed. I might look back at these interviews some more, but while we're doing that... The lengths of my long hair journey doesn't work.

I guess there's no journey. He's just already there. Yeah. So, Zarly, you need some encouragement. Isn't that right? Wade Garrett. Let me see. Just a little bit of encouragement you could use. This was in September 19th of 2016. Oh, okay. Need some encouragement, brothers.

I've been a long hair for roughly three years now. Hair is down to my upper chest region. Well, brothers... Zarly, I thought you were just vamping and just doing a Hulk Hogan thing, but that is what it says okay no it says that well brothers i have to say this has been difficult 90 of the time i keep my hair up when i go around town and do my daily tasks go to work etc on the days i wear my hair down i'm treated 100 different i get looks of scorn. People are afraid of me.

People avoid eye contact. Now, I usually keep my hair up most of the time every day for the past several months. But on days I try to be me, well, let the festivities stop. I'm treated more like a scoundrel. A bum. Scoundrel? A rapscallion, perhaps?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's scoundrel. I think I need to play one of those in Vampire the Masquerade. A rapscallion, perhaps? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's scoundrel. Scoundrel. I think I need to play one of those in Vampire the Masquerade. It's a great combination of words. Scoundrel, mongrel. Two things at once. But anyway.

A bum. Someone to avoid when the hair is down. When the hair is down. Perhaps I should trim it. Not sure. When my hair is down, I look like is down. Perhaps I should trim it. Not sure. When my hair is down, I look like a Hell's Angels biker or something. When it's up, I look like an Elvis Presley or Paul Newman kind of guy. And now I'll talk about the ladies.

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When it's up, I look like an Elvis Presley or Paul Newman. Yeah. You look like one of Presley or Paul Newman. Yeah. You look like one of those two very similar looking men. Same hair style. Sort of an Elvis-y, Newman-y kind of. Somewhere in the middle between Paul Newman and Elvis Presley. When I said Elvis Presley or Paul Newman, I meant Elvis Stoico or Alfred E. Newman.

Wow. That's a drawing. And now I'll talk about the ladies. With my hair up and tied back, I get significant positive response to them. To them? To them. When my hair is down, forget it.

I'm invisible and must be avoided. Heh. Ladies love a man bun, that's true. Heh. So, brothers, truth is, I haven't really been having my hair down for my hair down now for a long time. And I'm wondering if I really am a

long hair on the inside perhaps I am not perhaps on the inside I'm really a clean-cut guy don't say that no can't say that on here you'll get banned banned. Anyway, needless to say, it's been pretty difficult to maintain that long hair persona that I believe I am on the inside. Or, do I believe I am that persona? It's hard to say. A lot of my idols are rock musicians fromp'd head 60s, 70s, and 80s. I had my hair long as a kid. The stigma wasn't that bad to the 90.s. I had my hair long as a kid. The stigma wasn't that bad to the 90.S.

Being a male in my 30s and walking through the store with my hair down, I'm treated like a complete outcast, a weirdo, and a freak. Truth is, I'm kind of tired of feeling this way. It drains me energy to feel like a threat to people I'm around. So it was okay to have long hair in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s, but once in 2000... No! Superhead or Inarmative, absolutely unacceptable. Man buns

certainly weren't a thing for, like, or still aren't a thing, sure. Yeah, whatever. Well, they weren't a thing back when this was written in 2016. Well, I mean, it could depend on location too, honestly. Someday I plan on it could depend on location, too. Honestly. Someday I plan on moving to Los Angeles

or another town where alternative lifestyles are more prevalent. Oh, goddammit. Alternative lifestyle. He's definitely living in a high and tight region. Danny Tibbs Brothers. high and tight region. Yeah.

Any tips, brothers? Poor fellow. Somebody has a tip. I'm Goku! Yay! Hi. I can identify the feeling like being a bit of an outcast, though perhaps in a different setting. My parents can't stand my hair and are very conservative.

While the comments now come less frequently because they are somewhat resigned, they still can't stand it. Their significant amount of peer pressure for my family in general to cut. Cut, cut, cut. I get mixed response outside of my family. I generally like to tie it back in a ponytail,

which doesn't get as positive response as when I wear a bun. And I still have some friends that tell me it looked better before I just do my thing and most people get used to it. You can just worry about what others think. You just can't worry about what others think too much and just be you. Hey, my name's Anthony, and I barely have long hair at all. I put a picture of myself up,

and my hair is just past my ears. Complicated. He who tries to please everybody pleases nobody. I too find women preferring me with my hair tied up. It's an odd rule that a woman with loose hair has...

It is an odd rule that a woman with loose hair was a woman with loose morals. Oh, I'm sorry. Anthony's from the fucking 1800s. Oh, hi, Anthony. Yeah, they definitely don't like you because of the way your hair is dressed. Yeah, it is an odd rule, isn't it? It's a weird pivot.

I suggest you tie up your hair in public and, here's an expression I just came up with, let your hair down at home. After all, that's where the expression comes from. In France, where I live, it's a liberal country, and no one could care less. Yes, France. A famous bastion of liberality.

That's right, that's right. I don't think he has enough hair to even put back. We haven't elected a fascist narrowly. I see no reason why you shouldn't keep your hair, your long hair if you want. Yet a good reason for the two week rule. If you are considering cutting, only do it after thinking about it for at least two weeks.

Never on impulse. Live in society, but be yourself. My name's Anthony. We'll find out. I've been thinking about this for more than two weeks. Thanks, Anthony. Thank you, Mr. Banderas.

I didn't know you lived in France. Hey, my name's BG. I'm finally at my goal length. Oh, okay, great, awesome. Tell me about it. Hello, you guys. I posted here a handful of times, but not recently. I started growing my hair about six years ago at the age of 43,

and after having tried all through my teens, 20s, and 30s, I finally got my hair to the length I've always wanted. Yay. Part of the reason I was able to do this was because of this forum. The encouragement is really helpful in a world where most people really don't like long hair on men. Also, I'm gay. And I don't think I realized how few gay guys like long hair until I had it. My sex life is a desert these days.

But having long hair is so great. I finally feel like myself. Recent photo attached. Cheers. Actually, when I was a teenager, I had a friend who was gay and had long hair, and he was utterly beautiful, but he couldn't

get anybody to date him until he cut his hair. Anecdotal, but yeah, he was like no they don't like my long hair which was crazy because it was

gorgeous but yeah what do you got there Helios hi the hair I'm a vino hi the hair hi the hair hey BG your hair is extraordinary Hi-the-hair. Hi-the-hair. Hey, Beegee, your hair is extraordinary.

I can only imagine how much fun it would be a winky face. I can never figure out the why gay guys always have such a short hair. Generally, a long-haired guy like you stops me in my tracks. Mario, no. And then Vino's real email address. Well, yeah, because they said that you couldn't, like, you couldn't. Oh, yeah, it's not a hookup site. It's not a hookup site, but if you're interested in somebody, you put your email in the line, and if they want to contact you, they can.

It's not a hookup site. It's not a hookup site. Anyway, dating sites for gay long-haired men and quick length update. My name's Eric, the guy with the post about the boring long hairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'm sorry if this

post is breaking the rules or something, but are there any dating sites or services out there for gay men with long hair? I tried to go to the GayLongHairs.com under the links section, but that site doesn't exist anymore. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. I'm a

gay man with long hair, by the way. Incidentally. I was wondering why you were looking into this. Why I was asking. Not just for other people, but for myself. It was just more research on his internal versus external long hair. Oh, yeah, that's true. A complicated puzzle in my mind.

Just put all the pieces together there for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, yeah, so any help there? Oh, hey, Eric, it's me, Vino. Oh, hello again, Vino. Eric is a wow. Eric, your crowning glory. Stop being my threat.

Where in the world are you? I would love to get my hand on your incredible name. Avinosaol.com email address. You know, I think this is the site for Vino. Yeah. He has found his home. He's in his groove here. Yeah, no, he's got his fishing tackle.

He is good to go. I want to imagine replying to every post. He's got his fishing tackle. He's got his hair tied in it. Aw, I'm a sad that Vino don't have a picture on the user's directory. Okay. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Boots, real quick, your name is Kenneth? don't have a picture on the user's directory. Okay. Boots, real quick.

Your name is Kenneth. Yeah, my name is Kenneth. You got a short post, but Gene's going to respond to it. Looking for a hair female hair partner? I've had long hair since 2003, and I no longer satisfied with your standard ponytail or man bun. I just want someone else to style my hair for me.

How do I find women into this? Zarla, what does Gene W. say about that? Sorry, I didn't notice this question earlier because it's a great topic to discuss here. First of all, you shouldn't have much trouble in that area yourself, Kenneth, because you're a good-looking fellow with great hair. Women are often keenly aware of matters of hygiene and grooming.

So the first thing to do is keep the hair in tip-top good shape. I've always found that everyone, male or female, tend to be more accepting of a long-haired guy if his hair looks very good. Just picture this guy walking down the street and he just flips his hair in front

of a woman. Women like it if you look good, huh? They like it if you're clean. Can you believe that? I feel like Kenneth was just asking for someone who could cut his hair. Yep, yep. He sure was. I'm going to go to a barber and not get into that.

But specifically a woman. Are there any women that cut hair? I don't know. He's asking somebody specifically to style his hair, which is different from just going to a barber. He wants to go to a slumber party and sit in a circle and then have everybody bring their hair. He wants to have a lady give him the nice lady

hair. So ask for where to find female long hair enthusiasts, there are plenty around, all right? Start showing up for meetings of special interest groups. You guys are just scrapbooking, but what do you think of my hair? But I have to say, I have to say the more socially. Slow motion toss. I have to say the more socially or politically liberal groups tend to draw more people accepting on personal uniqueness than more conservative ones.

Volunteering for social aid groups is a good idea. Also, check out meetup.com, a website through which people organize events everywhere. However, you might want to be careful with that until the COVID lockdown era is over. You think? That's not what you should be using meetup for. I mean, actually, they got internal problems, so you shouldn't really be using meetup anymore. Are you kidding me?

When I used meetup, like, okay, it was a decade ago or something, but that's all it was. I'd go to, like, meetup things that I thought were just going to be fun social stuff. And it was just people braiding each other's hair? No, it was just people looking to hook up. To braid each other's hair.

I mean, I know that... I'm sorry? That was not my experience. Oh, okay. For the moment, you might start seeking out similar Zoom groups and such. I think this guy wants people to actually touch his hair. I don't know if he wants.

Yeah, touch my hair over Zoom. This guy's looking for that phenomenon scene where John Travolta gets his hair cut. Yeah, and Gene is just giving him generic dating advice.

You know Phenomenon, that movie everybody's seen? No, I was just going with it. It's seen. Anyway. No, no, I was just, you know, I was going with it. It's fine. I just have to run up to one on the street and say,

bring my hair. John Travolta gets magic powers from a brain tumor. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of movies where John Travolta gets magic powers,

huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Um, uh, so,

uh, so nutshell, um, uh, how is long hair affecting your dating life? Okay. How has long hair affected my dating life? Hi, I'm Avi. Hey, guys.

For those of you that don't know me, I'm a pretty young guy, having been born in 2001, so I'm only 18. A lot of you are much older, so I wanted to ask some advice from you. How has long hair affected your dating life? I personally have wanted long hair since a very young age and I'm very attached to it so I would never cut it. That being said,

I'm starting to worry that my hair is affecting my dating life as I'm never really able to see anyone at this point. I will attach a picture of me, my hair, in case that would help. God bless you little teenage boy that's posting pictures saying

I hope I'm pretty enough to date. Yep, exactly. It's a year ago. No, sorry, it's 2019. I've got to make sure to take my shirt off for this. It's important. But I guess it does make me look very feminine. I'm okay with that, but I wish it wouldn't affect my dating life. Any luck for how I can deal with that?

I understand that where I live would also affect my luck dating, as different regions have different preferences. I live in College Station, Texas. Thanks, Smiley Face. My name's a native Carolinian. Thanks, Smiley Face. My name's a native Carolinian. In all seriousness, I would worry more about doing you than worrying about whether women find long hair on men appealing.

What I mean by that is define who you are, and the right kind of women will find you. Many young women are not looking for cookie cutter anymore than the definition of cookie cutter is changing. You ready for my really good advice? Yeah. Don't sweat it too much. Maybe date Native American women.

Or try to do so. Oh, cool. Yep, yep. Long hair on a man says manliness and confidence. I feel more like a man when my hair is long. I pay attention to how I look and keep kempt better. I do this with short hair. Wait, I do.

Oh, I'm sorry. I do not do this with short hair. I just wash and go. If other guys react negatively to your longer hair, probably not as comfortable with themselves and cannot at this time see you as anything but a threat. Oh, yeah. You understand the world, native Carolinians.

That's right, that's right. You take your hair and strangle them with it. Just loop it around their neck. Long hair on men can indicate that he is more sensitive in some ways than other men. 20%—you ready for a good statistic? 20% of the male population are what is known today as highly sensitive people. Okay. I mean, that's probably a bigger number than that, man.

Native American men are frequently misunderstood as gay if they have long hair and are sensitive by white men and women as well as black men and women. Okay, so the Native Carolinian thing is native Carolinian. Oh, native and Carolinian. Okay, I got it. Just somebody who's very proud of being from Carolina. Right.

That makes sense. Some weird axe grinding here. I need to go with the moment, but what I will say in the closing is to the best of your ability, ignore the bullies, because even adults can be bullies. Report any threats, bullying, or sexual harassment to campus security. Oh, God, yeah. Okay.

I mean, go ahead, but... Who knows? A campus-wide discussion on sensitive men and culture may start. Oh, there might be unproductive conversations on campus? Okay. A campus-wide discussion on sensitive men and culture may start, and it may lead to an improvement in campus relationships across the board, not just romantic relationships.

Be well. Kiss kiss. What you got there, Boots? I'd like Zarlud actually to lead in for me. Also, I noticed that the site does have an archive. It goes back to 1997. That explains so much. That makes so much more sense now. But there is a dark period

between 2004 and 2006 where they lost all of the archive. Yep. Imagine that. Something happened between October 11, 2004 and June 12, 2006. There were no long hair on men at that point.

A legacy. Okay. So this is, I guess, a reply to something, but from everything I could tell in the forum, this is the lead post in a thread, so I don't know. Posted by Chris? Or the lead... Oh, in response to a post by Hairball. So you want Hairball or the Chris one?

Well, it's Chris. But then it's credited with Mark at the end, so I don't know. It's all for fuck Okay so So hairball Chris Mark So okay Regarding we need Anti-discrimination legislation

Finger and toenail growth is also a natural thing So stop cutting those nails And let them grow out to hideous proportions And body odor is also something natural that occurs to one's body so stop using deodorant now we were born naked right so just stop wearing clothes all together and toothpaste and toothbrushes don't grow on trees that's man-made items so no point in keeping up with dental hygiene and just let the gunk and stuff rot your teeth out. I don't know what this is going on here. Just be hyperbolic. Yeah, I don't know what the point... Anyway, like I said, hair length is a choice.

I'm not being a control freak or a hair Nazi. And despite what many of you are saying, appearance does matter. It matters to the point that if a customer comes and it doesn't like the appearance of its employees, they take their business somewhere else. It's just that simple. I will not lose business based on letting my employees carry their appearance

to whoever they see fit because it's their right to free expression. If they want to work for the competition, so be it. And to clarify, I'm not discriminating against race, religion, sex, physical ability. I hate hearing stories of how some companies... Actually, I think some native people in Sikhs might say you are, but okay. Go off. I hate hearing stories of how some companies turn people down based on these things. It's unfortunate that in a new millennium, these things do happen.

You cannot choose what sex you're born with. You cannot choose what race you're born to. And physical ability, whether birth defect or accidental, is not by choice. Your hygiene and appearance is. And as such, I don't think the government should tell me that I have to accept someone's appearance that they so chose to have. I agree, Carol, as hair is a... Oh, wait. Is that Mark's agreement? Is Carol hairball? I don't know.

Okay. This is very confusing. This is weirdly laid out. I agree, Carol, as hair is a natural occurrence that happens to both men and women. I don't know. Okay. This is very confusing. This is weirdly laid out. I agree, Carol, as hair is a natural occurrence that happens to both men and women. Should either sex decide they prefer short hair, then so be it. However, the same is true. Should either prefer to let their hair grow long.

Long hair. Wait, is this somebody else? This doesn't seem to. This is somebody else. Yeah, okay. This is somebody else. Okay. Oh. So, I'll just keep banging on my desk in the background in silence.

Wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham. Congratulations. Zarla has killed her desk with her bare hands. I can't use my hair. That's not... Sorry. Agree. Carol.

Okay. I agree, Carol, as hair is a natural occurrence that happens to both men and women. Should either sex decide that they prefer short hair, then so be it. However, the same is true should either prefer to let their hair grow long. Long hair doesn't mean the person is unkempt or sloppy. There are ways to make hair look neat and appropriate for business. It sounds to me that Chris is a control freak who wants more power over an individual

than should be allowed. How dare you? Then you just throw the desk out the window. He is coming off as one of those bosses that's just terrible to work for. Kicking out the windows. I've got a reply to this. My name is Paul KMF. I'm okay with Depeche Mode

apparently. Hey! my name is Paul KMF I'm okay with Depeche Mode apparently hey I live in the woods and eat berries back off okay hello my raccoon friend please tell us more what a joker hell yeah we should just abandon civilization altogether and chase down and kill prey with our bare hands. Your opinion of us is actually kind of funny. You must realize that most longhairs are pretty fussy about their appearance. One of the vices of longhair is pride. Sad but true, my brothers.

I know I look much better with long hair than I do without. I shower every day, brush my teeth twice a day. I still have them all at 47. And I most certainly groom my hair. I had girls come up in stores and run their hands through my hair and say, Sorry, I just had to. Oh, that's what he looks like. Sorry.

You can't keep your hands out of that hair and who could just picture dave mustaine i've had girls come up in stores and run their hands sorry i said that already you think that made my day or what yeah we choose to grow it damn right i'm so glad you're in the minority of hair haters once again you don't speak for the sum of all employers. Your customers probably care a lot less about hair than you do. Hair haters. What I think is this suggestion scares the hell out of you because it would make you face one of the things that kept you up at night. If such a thing existed, we'd have some doctors and lawyers with long hair.

People who hate... We've never had a doctor or a lawyer with long hair. These sentences are becoming more and more difficult to parse. People who hate it would have to shut up and deal with it. After a while, no one would see it as a negative thing. Here's

some advice. The first step in overcoming your fear is to face it. You come here to talk with us and to find out just who the hell we really are. So what else do you want to know? Ask me anything. Bring it on.

Jesus Christ. Paul. You're going to fight this entire fucking forum. Sir, I think you're on the wrong forum. We have a different forum that was in a different episode called Meat Something. You might like it. Meat fighting. Hair fighting.

Okay. Are we all ready for a mystery? Yes. Okay, awesome. This is a mystery in three acts. Once again, this document provided to us by the lizard. And when I saw this bit in the document, I was like, I'm not sure why this is in here. And then I figured it out. So this is a mystery in three acts.

We're going to start off with Nutshell Gulag. You have the name of Justin? Yes, yes, yes, I'm Justin. I'm Justin. Hey, what's going on? Is everything okay? Ken's still not heard from? Important. I was shocked to read a thread of two weeks ago. I knew of Ken well for years. He was a fantastic moderator when I was your president.

He always let us know when he would be unable to post to this board. Question. Has Ken been heard from since this thread appeared? If not, what's with the apathy? One, apparently no one has tried to call Ken. I didn't just receive the following recorded message. This number has been changed to the new number unknown. Strange.

Does everyone on this forum have each other's phone numbers? They do seem like a close-knit group. Yeah, that's true. There's not that many posters. Two, has anyone bothered to go where Ken lives and inquire of any concern? I mean, you know, people check up on people on boards or ball pits, as the case may be. Sure, I mean, it's happened. Okay, yeah, fair. Three, has anyone not thought of checking with Ken's partner? Last I knew he had one.

Four, surely some of you know where Ken works Anyone bothered to ask them? 5. Anyone asked Larry? 6. Any known friends of Ken? 7. If the above fails Has anyone even thought of calling the local hospitals? 8. For sure, call the police At least tell them of your concern

Where's fucking Ken? What in the world are you guys waiting for? San Francisco is a mecca of... Oh, illegals and a defiant sanctuary city. Don't wonder, act. Thank you for your racist concern. Whoa! Whoa!

So, a couple things. Ken is missing. We haven't heard from Ken He told us that he would post on the forums And he said that he would tell us When he wasn't posting on the forums So when he's not posting on the forums He would inform us in advance And most crucially

Ken lives in San Francisco Which is of course a mecca of illegals. Lemon, are you panicking when I'm not posting on Ball Pit? 0.5 seconds. Sometimes I don't post on Ball Pit for a while. I'm fine. I am worried. Can you just text me just like every five minutes, not posting, not posting, not posting?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you just text me just like every five minutes, not posting, not posting, not posting. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey there, I'm Hairball. Candice Fine. Hi, this is a form letter. Hi, Justin. First off, I was wondering about you too, since we never heard from you in what seems like years. Now you are the one who is missing.

I was concerned something might have happened to you, but had no way of knowing since I have no contact info, Justin. As for Ken, my last phone conversation with him was late last year, so I reached out tonight and did hear back from him via text message. He assured me all is well with him, but his work situation and hours have changed, so he's been quite busy. I'll leave it at that. As he now knows, people have been asking about him here. When he gets a chance, he'll post and put everyone's mind at ears.

Wink! Cheers. Thank God. And what is your name there in your signature hairball? Mark. Merk. Merk. Merk.

All right. So yeah, we haven't heard from Ken. I'm a little worried. I hope that we might have to call the police and find out what happened to Ken. Has anyone heard from Ken? I've heard. I'm here. I'm here.

Don't worry, guys. Who's that? Who's that? I'm Ken. I'm Ken and SF. Oh, fuck. A.K.A. Urban Cowboy. My apologies for being so absent.

Hello, hairy people. No worries. I'm fine. You guys have been ridiculously busy the past several absent. Hello, hairy people. No worries. I'm fine. You guys have been ridiculously busy the past several months. And he posted a picture of himself! He was alive! I swear, it's for real. I sincerely apologize for causing any concern

by being so absent from here, but as John Lennon once said, at least I think it was him, life is what happens when you're making other plans. He didn't. That's not John Lennon once said, at least I think it was him, life is what happens when you're making other plans. He didn't. That's not John Lennon. Let's see. Should I go through the whole story? I mean, I guess he might have said it once. It does seem like a thing he would say.

Should I go through the whole story, or do you want me to skip down to the whole thing? Uh, um, no, just some very, you know, some very good news. Some very good news, though. As of just today, my partner just got word from the law firm working on his disability case, and we were thrilled to hear that, yes, he has just been reinstated.

It's been approximately a full year since disability dumped him out into the cold, leaving me to have to shoulder the full financial responsibility of paying all of the household bills. Yeah, that would leave you with less time for the hair forum. As far as our favorite topic, hair, goes. Fuck yeah! Nothing has changed with me. My hair is still at terminal length, approximately. Oh, shit.

Terminal length. Terminal length. This is, again, the idea of hair killing people. I think it's just how long it'll grow before it won't grow no more then you tie it up in a ponytail whip people approximately belt length although at the very bottom it sure seems quite thin down there i'll try to attach the pic that i used to use as my avatar photo with which went my old email address which i'm unable to access so i have a new work related email address send me your hair pictures to my work email, please.

The old email used to be da-da-da. But don't bother trying to write me there, unless you don't mind turning as gray as I am now. LOL. LOL. I love you, Ken. Send me all your hair pictures. I was so fucking worried that Ken would be like... That they'd find him in a chair

and just a cocoon of his hair. Dried out mummy. I understand why everybody was concerned that he left. He's fucking charming. I love Ken. I do like Ken. And he's handsome, too. A big thank you to

Mark, aka Hairball, for letting everyone here know last week that I'm perfectly okay. It's not been on the hyperboard for a long time. The attached pic is from my January of 2012, I believe, and has been my avatar pic ever since. And my big secret, i.e. how my hair can look so realistically

naturally blonde instead of the silver white that it really is, is that I took the photo in very later afternoon. And the sunlight is the most golden orange you can get. LOL. Long locks forever. Ken in San Francisco. Long locks forever.

God, Ken, I love you. The board is a much better place now that he's back. Everybody's happy to see him. And finally, we're going to look at some of the profiles, just a couple of these fascinating profiles of the users of the men's long hair hyperboard. I'm looking at the whole page of them. There's more than one tie-dyed shirt, and there's more than one pirate hat. Yes, good.

Perfect. Good. Users of the men's long hair hyperboard. Uh, Helios, if you'll take the first one there, please. Hey, it's me, Birdman! Hello! I am married,

I play recorder, flute, and write science fiction stories. I plan to grow my hair out. Yay! Yay! It's good to have plans. Eventually one of us. I'm C the Dino Man in Parry Sound, Ontario.

I'm Christian Epp. I started early December 2006. I am hoping to grow to past my shoulders. I love God, paleontology, the medieval times, and MLHH, winky face. Representing for all nerds, Auf Wiedersehen!

That's not right. Auf Wiedersehen, but... Auf Wiedersehen! Howdy! Oh, I thought I was after boots Are you after boots? No no I'm after boots It's me Carpe Mortem

Cease the death That's right Carpe Mortem Carpe Mortem 90 which suggests There are a lot of other Carpe Mortems out there Cease the 90 dead He had to kill the other 89 Theo maybe that's my name I don't know out there. Seize the 90 dead. He had to kill the other 89.

Theo, maybe that's my name. I don't know. I'm a geek, author, linguist, trilingual, overeducated, underpaid, Wiccan, vegan. Happily engaged to a very lucky man. That sounds like the Pacific Northwest.

Or parts of it, I should say. That's my experience, yeah. Now is it? Yes. Hi, I'm Dale in New Jersey. I don't sound like I'm from New Jersey, but that's because I have no idea how to do a New Jersey accent. Tony Soprano.

I have never watched that show. Bad New York accent. Teaches ballroom, Latin, and swing dance. Likes to go to the gym, yoga, Broadway shows, and owns three cats. Appears in local musicals. ESDI80 in Hampton Roads, Vermont. I think. He said that.

It was a stadium. Wanted long hair since I was 14. Started growing in 2003 when I was 23. Proud to be a long-haired computer nerd with an old man smiley. Hey, it's me, John Denver in Denver, Colorado. John in Denver in Denver. Oh, well, my bad. John in Denver in Denver. Oh, well, my bad. John in Denver in Denver.

John in Denver in Denver, Colorado. I'm at 32 months of growth from a very short cut going for nipple length for now. Most people say shoulder blade length, but you do you. Nope. It's going right to the nips for now, and I'll add a smile to my next

pick-up date. Hey, y'all. I'm just Carol from Delaware. Oh, it's just Carol. Just Carol. Disabled single adult shares apartment with my calico kitty named Callie. I have Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism, and I'm mobily impaired. I think more men should have long hair.

Thanks, Carol. Hey, how's it going? My name's Lennox Longhair, and you already know everything about me. Uh-huh. My name's Lennox Longhair, and you already know everything about me. Uh-huh. That was so good. Here we go, another accent that's inappropriate to the region, but Mick in Belgium. I'm a linguist, scientist, atheist, critical thinker, skeptic into pop music.

It's not too bad, actually. No, this is a bad German accent. Yeah, that's a Belgian accent. No, no. Belgian accent is way more like a French accent. Have you never watched any Hercule Poirot? No. I've seen him bruise.

What about Belgium? Straight hair, gay relationship, happily taken for almost a decade Not a long hair by birth Grew into it as my hair grew Usually how that works So an external long hair then Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm Tommy in Rocky Mount, Virginia I'm a retired pipe fitter from Los Angeles

I moved here to rural Virginia To get away from the congestion of the big city I'm into wood turning, metal casting Chainsaw carving and letting my hair grow Alright, Pat Fitter from Los Angeles. I moved here to rural Virginia to get away from the congestion of the big city. I'm into wood turning, metal casting, chainsaw carving, and letting my hair grow. I have a girlfriend named Mandy. Hey there, I'm the urban cowboy in San Francisco, California. Cutting my hair short the first day of summer, Y2K. Wow.

Regretting it deeply. Still regretting it deeply. The algorithm made me do it. Wow. I thought the I thought the robots were gonna get modern hair. I'm regretting it deeply. I'm now committed to get my darn hair.

I'm regretting it deeply. I'm now committed to long hair for life. Goal, butt length. Must make amends to my scalp. Going right past a nipple straight to butt length. Oh, man. What did we learn from any of this, F-Plus? It's nice to be on a forum that seems to be mostly wholesome,

aside from the racism. But it's pretty low-key racism, I mean, by these standards. Yeah. And it's supportive people and stuff. And also that, you know, if you have long hair, whether you're a guy a gal or non-binary everybody can benefit from a good conditioner yeah good job for a forum that mostly looks like guys who look like charles manson like everything about this this board seems so old in a kind of charming way the The site looks really old. All the people on it are really old.

They look like old hippies. Almost all of them. Old hippies and old computer programmers. They're written in an old style. They're very grammatically correct. But it's from 2021. Quite a few of them are kind of young. Yeah, they just fit in with the olds.

It's a time capsule yeah it also kind of feels like that meme where you've got the little nerdy boy like typing to people for advice and then all the muscle guys answer to them only it's the little nerdy young guy with long hair

typing to all the old long haired guys and them answering him typing to Ken who I for-haired guys and them answering him. Typing to Ken, who I for sure want to be my uncle. Ken looks fine, yeah. I want to go fucking do some shrooms on the beach

with Ken. You know the best place to do that. You know what? He would be so good because he would be really sort of caring and present. Make sure that you were having a good trip. He would check so good because he would be really sort of caring and present. He would make sure that you were having a good trip. He would check in on you. He'd be like, oh, sorry, Healy's got to take a phone call from the Hyperboard.

The Hyperboard's worried about me again. They're worried about me again. My Hyperboard family. Yeah, because you're just super high on mushrooms. Ken, I'm thinking of cutting my hair. He's like, wait until you're just like super high on mushrooms like Ken I'm thinking of cutting my hair he's like wait till you're down for the mushrooms well that's a good idea Ken thank you don't do anything you might regret

thanks Ken yeah uh I searched cause there's a search function so I searched for like fuck I searched for slut and the only thing that came up with slut was just people mistyping the word result. Genuinely, no forum wars. Most of the posts are like, I want to grow my hair long.

And they're like, that sounds good. Hair tips for doing that. Go ahead or don't. It's fine. People make fun of me for long hair. We don't make fun of you. We like you. I don't know because I haven't looked at the whole site, but I don't even

see anything like you get on some of the muscle boards where they start extolling their weird diets for growing whatever it is that you want to grow. It doesn't seem to be a lot of that on here either. Guys are like, yeah,

I like long hair. It's kind of cool. Yeah. There are a number of results for Harry Potter, though, so there is. Our website is always THEFPL.US We've got another one called Ball Pit and there's another one called Kinda.Fun

and if you go to Kinda.Fun you can play video games on Kinda.fun and that's kinda fun. And they're more fun than the URL would suggest. Maybe. I don't know. I set a specific barrier and I just tried to reach it.

That was my goal. Just get into that kinda level and it's good enough. Okay, bye! Bye! okay bye bye bye bye your hair? Do you think it's gonna make him change? I'm just a boy with a new hair. Look at Walt in Indiana's mustache. It's beautiful. Where's Walt in Indiana?

Go to the user directory, I assume? Yeah. Walt. Oh, Walt. Hell yeah, Walt. Good job, Walt. Oh, wait, that's Smoke from his mirror shop. He's just doing Gandalf shit over here, Walt. Good job, Walt. Oh wait, that's Smoke! From his mirror shop! He's just doing Gandalf shit over here, Walt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, uh... I thought from the thumbnail that that was his mustache. I was very excited.