The F Plus - 348: Do Not Summon Beelzebub

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

The heavily art directed magickians over at BECOME A LIVING GOD have a number of products they'd like to sell you, and about half of those are supposed to help you get laid. There's a slut water kit, PDFs that call themselves grimoires, and there will be time for poetry. This week, The F Plus ensourcles Ally Sheedy The Character (not Ally Sheedy The Person). SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM PORTAXX: Hello again! After this episode I entered a frozen hell and saw the face of the Lord of the Flies himself. It looked like Ü. Terrified, I had to capture the moment before making my heroic escape.

Ow, I actually clapped too hard. My hands hurt. Alright, well, Lemon's out of this recording. He's got an injury. We'll continue on somehow. Just bench me for half an hour. I'll be fine. Yeah, Lou, you're hosting. Hey, everybody! Hey, Lou! Welcome to the F-Plus. Hey, F-Plus! Ooh, I like this direction!

This is a good direction for the podcast. Let's hear from the F-Bus crew. Of the ridiculous SoundOff. That's quite the hosting voice. You got a soundboard over there, don't you? Maruga! What's a podcast that does it for you every day? It's the F-Bus.

That's right, man in a box. I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you fire. I'll take you to burn. Fire. I'll take you to learn. I'll see you. Fire. I'll see you there You fought hard and you saved and earned

The candle goes out There's no light around The only thing here Is the F Plus Podcast Terrible things Read with enthusiasm. And in the room we have Boots Reingear. Once a woman is dickmatized, she will stick around.

Victor Laszlo. After four weeks, the growth was completely gone. Cow urine is a miracle. John Sost. Beelzebub is the solar force. He is the blackened sun. The sun becomes sackcloth. Beelzebub issues a challenge. Beelzebub's sound is... Mmm!

Poor Tex! Let me use a sharpie to draw a summoning circle on your hoo-ha! Five thousand dollars. He's the one that reads the internet for you, and his name is King Lou Fernandez. My roommate has an imposter Jesus, so he tells me Jesus talks to him, and he sees him every day, but I told him that I was a zombie walking dead because I worship Satan. I tried scanning him and see a man transforming, and his head started to have many snakes appear.

I ruined the image because I was like, no, no, no, it's not Medusa. She loves me. I scanned again and see a tall man butt- what I would appear to be a minotaur. And Lemon, I've learned a lot about the left hand path from this forum, but you all are terrible at memes. You're gonna burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. You're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn. You're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, Fire Take it to bed

Fire Hey, F+. Hey, 11. You all right? Hi, 11. Hi. Sorry, I was caught by surprise there. Yeah, you...

I was going to ask you a question, but I feel like none of you all are ready for this. It feels like none of you all have recognized your true potential. Isn't that true? No, I'm pretty sure I'm at my peak. We've reached peak Victor Laszlo. Yes. Nowhere to go but down for me.

Well, that's what human life is like I suppose well I think that it's time for us after how many episodes this has been I think that it's time for all of us to BECOME A LIVING GOD oh finally

I want to be a dead god collectively we will become a god yeah well no all of us to be a dead god. Help me. Collectively we will become a god? Yeah, well no, all of us will become a living god, so therefore we'll all be separate living gods. That grammatically works. Do we get to pick the gods? Okay. Which one would you like to go for there, Portex?

Combination of Anubis and Thor. Thor Anubis, they call me. Thor Anubis. Yeah, I'll have like a man body and a giant hammer for a head. And it's got dog ears on it. So just like a real

jacked wolf. Yeah. Okay. Sounds very powerful. That's good. Yeah, we are going to be going to a website funny enough called Become a Living God. This is a document given to us by Napoleon Blonaparte, and he describes the website as a journey into the Tony Robbins of McGick, EA coding, and his highbrow forums. the Tony Robbins of McGick, EA coding, and his highbrow forums.

So, Become a Living God has a bunch of pictures of our star, which is great. He's very sexy. And also, there are, as you might be surprised to know,

products to buy. No. I do like to do that to products frequently. So I'm just going to start you off here and I want to say that, okay, so our mission, Become a Living God, is the world's first comprehensive self-directed resource

for acquiring an advanced McGick education free of initiation requirements. The mission of Become a Living God is to empower individual magicians to develop their natural godlike powers through real experience and uncensored knowledge.

We are an, quote, open source guide to performing McGick. McGick Hub. What? McGick Hub. McGick Hub. This is the Linux of becoming a living guy.

Hang on. Going to Namecheap. McGick Hub. That should probably be an IO, I think. Here's a tool I made to summon little demons to do housework while you're programming. $33. That's cheaper than Damdog is. Anyway.

So they've got real results, and they are evolving the field of McGick beyond the outdated and unnecessary traditions of secret initiation, politics, and religion. Disclaimer! Balg, which has become a living god, does not guarantee success with McGick.

Your personal experience depends on work ethic, so results will vary. Consider this adult knowledge and not legal or medical advice. Use this knowledge at your own risk. If you experience any problems, consult a licensed doctor. Become a living god is not responsible

for consequences of your acts. Whatever you do, don't try to enchant the broom to do the housework for you. It shows nothing with this at your own risk. For all you kids listening at home, please do not go to the doctor and tell them that you cast a spell on yourself. Do you not like to laugh? I don't understand.

Well, are you telling me I shouldn't ask my doctor if becoming a living god is right for me i actually love i am recording i don't like laughing at people and then mailing them a satisfaction survey okay okay that makes sense that makes sense um yeah so uh as i mentioned uh there are products uh for sale uh lou uh what's the first product here in this document the oh the first product at to become a living god is known as slut water is fred slut water here in slut water south dakota we lead a simple life this water's a slut You can get it at the well

But it's a slut Dear friend A serious question for woman magicians Okay Has anyone ever called you a slut Or whore And when they did And when they called you a slut

Did it insult or shame you No and yes A serious question for male magicians And when they called you a slut, did it insult or shame you? No and yes. A serious question for male magicians. It didn't call you that, but it insulted you when they didn't. No, it insulted. No, it didn't insult, but it did shame. Oh, okay. Got it.

Yep. A serious question for male magicians. Yes. Has anyone ever called you a slut or man whore? Not yet, and i'm really disappointed and when they called you that did it did it compliment and validate you it wouldn't yep okay let me reveal an ancient double standard that still exists in modern society for men terms like slut and whore validate their powerful sexual libido, essentially calling them a stud.

Whereas for women, terms like slut and whore shame their powerful sexual libido, essentially calling them trashy. But those are the same words. How do the same words mean different things?

That's not possible! What sort of magic is this? Why has society extolled men's sexual power but suppressed women's sexual power? Are we really getting into this right from the start? The answer is going to be magic, right? Something about magic.

Quite simply, toxic religions like Christianity, Islam, and more have criminalized and regulated women's sexuality for millennia. It orders to disempower and rule them for social engineering and population control. And more. Not magicians, though. Magicians are on the level.

Now, let me tell you how we make it. Astarte's nine-day ritual to formulate her goddess water, aka slut water. Early one morning, the goddess Astarte called me to summon her. Called me to summon her. Okay. You want to... Can I get a summon call at nine in the morning? Mind games?

Get me out of here. Women be like that. I entered her ritual with no instructions and carefully followed her guidance through my intuition. Astarte initiated me with a life-changing nine-day pathworking through both moon and body cycles, revealing a talismanic elixir to harness her

erotic forces directly. Nice. Over these nine days, Astarte helped me formulate an elixir of goddess water or slut water. The term slut referring to a fully empowered sexual magician or witch. That's awesome. Who has reclaimed their libido, abolished shame, and awakened their inner god or goddess.

And now, I share this same precious elixir with you. This should be great. How much does it cost, Lou? That seems really worth it. I assume it's a reasonable cost. You were clearing out last year's Slutwater. I feel like paying full price. We were going to charge a discounted $799.

No, fuck that. If you're willing, and I always recommend paying MSRP, well then, it's $999. No, fuck that. If you're willing, and I always recommend paying MSRP, well then, it's $999. Oh man, that's great. That's great. For $1,000, not only do you get slut water, which comes in a bottle with a dropper,

you also get an e-book grimoire. Could we, though? Yes, please. Very good. Grimoire.tv I want the Necronomicon on my fucking Kindle. Portex, by which I mean Serene Healings, which is

apparently your name. What did you think of the Slutwater? Serene Healings. So, I'm Serene Healingsings i'm definitely a real person um i i tried slug water and honestly it blew my mind i performed an intense ritual related to my mother and father i could feel past energy pull off me away from me and it changed and transmuted me for my highest good not only that when people throw their hang on the green screen's falling down i gotta put it there when people throw their jealousy there's a green screen i didn't even notice and and hate at me it's literally wiped

off and transforms into a better energy i definitely need a few more bottles to make a slut jar sorry a slut jar a thing i need obtain slut jar okay who do i do i talk to kathy about getting my 20 bucks do i every woman needs a good slut jar uh scrolling down to the very bottom of the page uh so uh i your name uh lou the the seller of the page so your name, Lou the seller of this product is named Barbie Garrett is there any other products for sale?

is it by Barbie Garrett? what's up? where is it? Oh, it's on the bottom of this page. On the slut water page. Apocalypse water? Yeah, that's it. Magic!

Sorry. I had no idea what was going on. I wasn't actually looking at the page. I was looking at the document. Let the bulletproof protection of Belial, Satan, Shemyaza, Astarte, and Medusa bring about an apocalypse of truth.

An apocalypse of truth. Something to be known for. Wait, the reviewers of it are the exact same six reviewers as the other one. Hmm. And it says, I tried slut water, and honestly, it blew my mind.

Anyway. one oh and it says i tried slut water and honestly it blew my mind i prefer anyway uh uh uh since we're still in an edit point here uh uh uh john just uh start off with that with that bit in your in your writing so uh so john uh we've learned something about the slut water which is great uh but you know i i only spent i mean it, it was a mere thousand dollars that I spent on that product. So I've got more to spend. Anything you want to sell to me? Oh, yes. There is something I would like to sell to you, and it's Estarte's Love Slave Rite. Okay.

Dear friend. Well, that's nice. I am the metaphysical mad scientist okay my name's j.s garrett that's a good bad scientist name thank you i worked on it mad mad for savings and if you're like me then when you first discovered Magik power, you immediately wondered if you could perform sorcery to affect other people. For example, to ignite love and lust in a crush so they become your lover. I have been completely obsessed with the life-changing miracles of love magick and demonic evocation for a decade now. Very well.

So much so that I have innovated an ultra-powerful ritual that swings like a wrecking ball and smashes into a person's heart. Wow. That sounds great. That's definitely something I want to give to a person that I like. It basically turns the person into your little pet. Why else would my wife adore me? No idea.

And the document provider, Napoleon Blodepart, wants you to know that his wife is the Slutwater Woman. Oh, so it's because you're both assholes. Why else? They say a magician never reveals his secrets. I disagree.

I will tell you my secret right now. Blood sacrifice, orgasmic fluid, and demonic evocation. All the more can be yours. So period sex. How much demonic evocation goes on? Human blood. Like having sex and pretending it's in the

1400s, right? If you're doing it right. Huzzah! I've come! Human blood and orgasmic fluid ignite the forces of love, McGeck, better than any I've come human blood and orgasmic fluid ignite the forces of love better than any other sacrifice

and demons fulfill their agreements immediately without apology oh nice human chakras swell and gush regularly ew they gush lemons I don't like that.

This cycle does not hurt a person at all. In fact, sex chakras need orgasmic release or a person becomes ill. Oh, baby, baby, my sex chakra needs release or I'll become ill. It's the new version of that old line.

You don't want me to get the flu, do you? See, my love slave ritual just accelerates and magnifies this orgasmic release on demand. Here's the entire chain of causality. My favorite demon, Astarte, floods their chakras with excess energy

and then their chakras have orgasms and then their brain releases dopamine and then your lover becomes physically and energetically addicted to you. And then you eat the pineal gland. Like, we've seen chakras a lot in this podcast. This is the first time we've learned that they can have orgasms. It was just a given all the other times we were reading.

We are thoughtful lovers. Yeah, that's right. Chakras always could come. You just never tried, Boots. You didn't bother to learn. You've been rubbing your chakra the wrong way all these years. You should have found the little man floating in the boat of the energy. Is it immoral?

Does it violate karma? Does it violate karma? Does it rob free will? Honestly, honestly, honestly, I don't care. Yeah! Whoa. That's my whole answer. I will leave ideological concerns to those, like those to religion. You said religion was evil?

Unlike this that you're doing. That's his wife that said that. Oh. Wait. She doesn't speak for him. I'm a diehard sorcerer and will help to fill your life with the sex and love

you deserve. Because we can. Look, die Hard's on television. Sorcery! Magic! I don't want the sex I deserve. I want good sex. I feel like I've listened to enough copy and sentence form.

Can I get some bullet points for no reason? Oh, sure! I'm glad to oblige. You can, uh, here's just some of the few things you can do. You can get an ex-lover back. Mend and rejuvenate a doomed relationship. You can get a new lover. Manifest a new relationship with your ideal person. You can fall in love with yourself.

Already done. Guilty. Admire and accept who you are as a person. Join the self-suck forums I guess you can turn an enemy into a lover dominate and change a person's emotions now we're talking

turn your life into fan fiction that sounds slightly problematic I hope your next one isn't problematic oh good there's no problem with changing your sexual orientation I'm Turn a straight Straight person gay and vice versa

Yeah, so it's not you necessarily You're gay! I would love to do that just at random though Just a real extended finger waggle You're gay! I would love to do that just at random, though. Just a real extended finger waggle. You're gay! And it only lasts for like five minutes, so they don't really know if I put a spell on them or not. Shit, I guess I am.

Yeah, and then after it wears off, they're like, what the hell was that about? No longer gay! I just picture them running just picture them running around in a cloak, like, you know, as a prankster, and like, two men, like, two men are about to kiss, and it's like, what if you were straight now? It's like, oh, I'm not into this anymore. Darn you, sorcerer! Damn you, sorcerer! See?

If I'm like a god, I can do these things. Would be fun. Well, you know well i guess i guess we could uh i guess this is the the reversal of it here that is you could also make a person fall out of love terminate a toxic relationship or harassment okay no only good relationships way to get like altruistic at the end here making a person hate you is definitely a way to get them to stop harassing you. Yeah. And, you know, just as a and just influence anyone in your favor. You know, just like a blanket term

at the end. Employers, authorities, business executives, etc. By making their chakras jizz? And also there's one that's these have all been like bold header bullet points. And then the last one doesn't And also, there's one that's... These have all been, like, bold header bullet points, and then the last one doesn't have bold, it's just, the versatility is endless.

So that's its own bullet point. Just do it if you want. So, yeah, that sounds good, that sounds good, and I'm sure that you have it for sale for a very reasonable price, right? Um... Oh, yes, I do! It's a real, very reasonable price, right? Um... Oh, yes, I do! It's a real, real reasonable price.

How could I forget what I'm charging for this shit? Oh, well, you want... If you want Astarte's Love Slave right, you have to just pay the pittance, the small amount, of $999 US dollars. That is actually old information.

It is no longer $999, it is now old information. It is no longer $999. It is now $2,199. Oh, I've forgotten. I was going off of my version of memory that was in a dock somewhere. That was the $2,000 prices, man. Holy shit.

Okay, so the $2,200 one gives you a 20-minute personal consultation, a ritual performance, demonic love bomb. You don't even get a bottle and an eyedropper. Instead, one of the 60-minute consultation, three times as much time, it costs you $200. But with the $200 version, you don't get a follow-up email. That's true. Oh, shit, I do need that.

It is 100% confidential, and it could be over telephone, Skype, or Messenger. I want ICQ. I can't believe I missed the boat. ICQ. The early bird pricing. It's gone now. I have to wait until Black Friday. I'll get you a coupon.

See if it drops. So that's great, and there's plenty more here. You've got the complete Works of EA Coding. The whole collection, Complete Works edition, available for only $199, which is great because the individual grimoires are only $49. So, Boots, that all seems really super cool, really super cool. But I wish there was a devil in my life can you

Zai Beelzebub lord of the flies compendium 6 you're about to become a chosen one and initiate cataclysmic enlightenment for all outpost earth the infernal empire rises while still liking it boy it's a book,

and it mentions that the foreword and editor is Timmy. Oh, shit. The most powerful sorcerer. Timmy? Yep. Dear Fred, I would caution 99 out of 100

magicians not to summon Beelzebub. Do not even bother to knock on his gates. Okay, why? I do not believe that a common magician can stomach him. Truthfully, he requires the most hardened veteran of demonic McGick with the steadiest hand, like an old seasoned boat captain who can navigate the stormiest seas.

Real gigantic storm out there. I know that the implication is that it's just such demonic power and I know we'll get into it, but I just like the idea it's like you're someone who yells at Bob and he's just like, let me tell you about all the shows I've been watching during quarantine. He's like, oh god. He's too annoying.

I like that it wrote boat captain not ship captain, so I'm just picturing a rowboat yeah but he's the captain of the rowboat the devil summoning shanty he doesn't actually row I'm in charge here

Beelzebub's magic sorry McGick requires you to become like a lion tamer with balls of steel and a heart of gold in the way the lion tamers have lions always go for the balls first you cannot

flinch at his jump scares oh god what's up boys, it's your guy Beelzebub like, comment, and subscribe we're gonna play this we're gonna play this demonic possession here beelzebub never screamed in five nights at freddy's he's always hiding in closets he will expose your corruption i can already hear you lying to yourself inside your head as you read this trying trying to marshal false confidence. Oh,

EA is just exaggerating again. I can handle this demon, of course. I am not exaggerating. In fact, I am deadly serious. When I hear it said out loud, I do have a real dumb voice. It's true. I'm a living god. I know what his voice sounds like.

When you study the long, suppressed history of Lord of the Flies, you will discover his other less known, but equally accurate epithet. You will discover why they call him the Lord of Pestilence. But not as often, because it's longer to say. I'm going to read ahead. Also, I get confused. Is it T-I-L or T-E-L? I don't know. I see a super good word coming up.

This is great. I'm excited for this. Okay. The highest risk, the highest reward. Become commander-in-chief of legions by authority of the Prince of Demons. On your mobile device. Yes. I bet you can't get this demon to escape from this like death trap with the water

coming down from the top you're a god save this guy save the gold a highly rare breed of human save the gold fuck it I don't know what else you doing check out that whoops

a highly rare breed of human exists Fuck it, I don't know. What else are you doing? I would legit check out that whoops. A highly rare breed of human exists who get their rocks off through ascendant dangerous ambitions. A high-risk, high-reward person. Friedrich Nietzsche called this breed of man the Ubermensch. You're just all over the place. At all, that's not... It's not... High-risk people are not... That's not the the ubermensch. You're just all over the place. At all, that's not

high risk. High risk people are not, that's not the definition of ubermensch, but that's cool. No, it's the literal German translation. The U with the smiley face dot eyes on it means high. Right? And ber means risk. And me means high again.

And usch means reward. I never looked at a U with an oomph letter. It's just a really happy. Yeah, it's really happy to be there. That's the German word for extremely happy and high. That's actually the same thing because I think it's legalized. We've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time. It's actually the yaybermensch.

Yaybermensch. Sorry, you broke me. That fine that happens sometimes some men some men wrestle alligators some men climb mount everest some men run for president some men rocket to outer space on their own volition i sell bullshit on a website i like that the fact that of all the the middle three are like lofty people but the first person is like a roadside attraction carny guy who wrestles that's when you start small yeah that's definitely some florida shit the every trip to mount everest starts wrestling alligators. I summon ancient demons. I evoked Beelzebub exclusively and subjected myself to his McGig Dominion for a full three months.

Three complete lunar cycles. A complete season of weather. They're exclusive? That's serious. As I did with Belial, Amayaman, Azazel, Abaddon, Lucifuge, chronologically. And other Danzig albums. While I have factually survived my pathworking of Beelzebub and lived to tell my tale, he brought me to numerous near-death experiences where he forced me to confront

my deadliest impulse to commit suicide by Cinnabon. Wait, suicide with a Cinnabon or suicide at the Cinnabon? No, suicide by Cinnabon. By consuming Cinnabon. I was thinking a Cinnabon's so huge it just, like, chokes you but he's trying to eat a hole like a snake.

Well, he is a wizard. A sentient Cinnabon boa constrictor. Oh, snap. Oh, wait, the snake is also a Cinnabon? Yes. Yeah. Yes, exactly. All the Beelzebub touches turns to Cinnabon.

We all do this. Let's write two seasons of this for netflix to go talking about definitely an american horror story plot for sure talking about demon snacks i guess talking about with the cage while under his dominion an overriding urge to finally divorce from my decade-long life partner are rob me, i.e., I broke up with my long-time girlfriend, Erin. Wait, is this the lady who makes... Is this the lady who excretes the

slut water? This is pre-slut water. Erin was not enough water, or enough slut, I'm not sure, one or the other. A schism had erupted years earlier in her and my relationship, and as my McGick ascent accelerated, this schism widened. As I aspired to godhood, she surrendered to pedestrianism.

Oh, my God. A magician and a muggle will not last forever. Nice. I like that Beelzebub called Aaron a basic bitch. Aaron was probably like, when are you going to sell the slut water? We need to pay the rent. So she got a job.

This goes on for a while. It sure does. I'm expecting a recipe at the end. Scrolling back up to the top there, how much are you selling this product for? Oh, just a reasonable price of – wait. Oh, it's $2.99. It's a single payment.

You can do it at three payments of $99, which saves you $2 overall. It sure does. It sure does. But you don't get to talk to him. Also, I've noticed that this book is not actually authored by EA Coding, but actually it is authored by the nine demonic gatekeepers. Boots, can you tell me all of the authors of this book? Meet the author.

There's EA Coding. There's Asanath Mason. There's Michael W. Ford. There's Edgar Kervel.. There's Michael W. Ford. There's Edgar Kervel. Bill Duvendak. Or Lee Stewart. I should give their titles. Sorry.

Yeah, you should. So EA Coding is the Grimoire of Beelzebub, which he's a book. Asanath Mason is the Lord of Pestilence. Michael W. Ford is Bazibub. Actually, I believe that... The thing after the hyphen is actually the chapter names. Oh, that makes sense.

No. I'm lying. Edgar Curveau did the Narrog Beelzebooth. Bill Duvendack, Beelzebub's hyphen Lucifer connections. That's some slash fiction. Yeah. Nice.

I read that at the start of this reading. Oh, Lucifer. Orly Stewart did the Book of the Living Dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The Book of what? Book of Living Death. Sorry.

Yeah. Thank you. Connor Kendall. Sorry. Grimoire of Dark Defilement. Zag Darklight. What's his true form? Taking bets on what his true form is.

I'm going to go with like a sphinx C.H. Richard or as I call him, Critchard Balzabul and then Timothy wrote the foreword A.K.A. the third shift crew at Hardee's

drive-thru window. Come on, guys, keep it up! I was looking, so on the actual page, there's a little, like, sort of image carousel that you can click through, which I was just, I just, you know, if you're listening to this and you want to go to Become a Living God, look at some of these

author photos. They're very funny. They are very good. I would like to point out on this page that this book is in fact peer-reviewed. It's peer-reviewed by three of the authors of the book. Oh my god.

That is how peer-review works. I'm your peer and I review this book to be great. It's like Klaus Nomi. Like what? Which one is this? I don't know. One of the white people.

It's Jedward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the authors is Jedward. So, obviously, stuff to sell or stuff to buy, as we know. But there also are forums. Become a Living God.com does have some forums. BecomeALivingGod.com does have some forums. And so we're

looking here at the forums and the header has a full page ad that you have to scroll through in order to get to the bottom of the forums. Which is very funny. And it says, receive the cursed keys

of hell to unlock the ninth and final gate, trigger the supreme satanic gnosis by uniting your godhood and your beasthood. Pretty cool. I like both of those. You must defeat Zur and the Kord. Kodan Armada.

But, Victor, your name is Loki Juttenborn. um but uh victor your name is loki junk loki juten joten born loki jut joten born um and uh i have a question for you it's called attraction is it normal to feel the urge to hang on where are we uh we are sorry we're in a a thread called Attraction. It's page 10. Yes, okay, I'm there. Okay, great. So yeah, Victor, I have a question for you, and my question is Attraction. So my name is Ben Sahar, and is it normal to feel the urge to fuck someone of the forum?

I saw this sexy brunette and got erect the entire evening thinking about her and how soft and creamy she must be. What? She's real creamy. Call a physical doctor for that and also a mental doctor for everything else.

Funny that sometimes I think that I can feel her taste in my mouth, wet and dripping, and I don't know her, so I don't know why I feel it. How many of you felt the urge to have sex with people from the forum? That girl is logging off forever. All women immediately logging off forever all right so all women immediately logging off forever so uh i'm not a woman i'm loki jotenborn well but you probably have a good answer i do man listen up so uh it's normal to have interest in someone but I wouldn't post this and especially describe her.

Women seem to think if a man voices an attraction to her, he's objectifying her. Despite how many women online post pics meant to be sexually arousing. I mean, I mean, when a woman voices an attraction to a man, it's all good. No offense, but that's very hypocritical. I have only been on here for a few days and haven't yet seen anyone's personal pics. I just wouldn't act upon that interest if I were you. It just doesn't seem like that sort of sight. You may just get yourself into trouble. Sorry, I don't give a fuck.

I don't live with barriers. Oh no. You should probably have several in front of you and around you. I don't live with barriers. Oh no. You should probably have several in front of you and around you. I hope I'm in jail. It's just like when somebody almost as awful as you tries to talk reason into you and then you're just like, fuck you! Could we lock him into some sort of hamster ball

so he can't touch anything or anyone? I am a living god. I can do that. Well, that was, you know, a little bit of a slice, but obviously I don't think it's really emblematic of the forums. I don't really think that that paints an accent.

I would say, may my ballsack be your mojo bag. Well, okay, sure, that would be another example, but I don't think that's emblematic of the forums at all. It's a standard greeting among my people I don't think that's emblematic at all, Portex your name is

Xenophon and you have a question there Xenophon to ask? Xenophon? yeah, page 14 Xenophon? Uh, yeah, page, uh, let's see, 14, Xenophon. Page 14, alright. Does this

begin with an X or a Z? It's a Z. There it is. Uh, here we go, Xenophon. What's your, uh, what's your forum status? Uh, my name is Xenophon. I was banned in April of 17.

Okay, good. Yeah. What's the best... Can we get the title of this first? The title, we could. Oh, yeah. Can we... So, okay.

My name is Xenophon. I was banned April of 17. I want to talk about making hot women want to fuck you you're gonna make women want to fuck me? that's really nice of you yeah make them want to spread love fuck ya

so what's the best gosik spirit for this? I can approach and ask anyone if they're interested in shagging but I was thinking of getting the gosisha to boost it? Vuol? Is Vuol interesting? I think I'm thinking Vuol. I think Vuol might be.

Vuol? Anyone? Anyone? I'm Uncle Al. The easiest way to attract hot women is with the evocation of the open checkbook. Nice! Yeah! That explains why ugly billionaires never Hot Women is with the evocation of the open checkbook. Oh, my God. Nice. Yeah. That explains why ugly billionaires never lack female companionship.

There's a story online about a fat, stupid guy who won a lotto and two days later found the love of his life. Wow. Wow, that is... Huh. That changes everything, I think, now. What a compelling story. I'm so looking

forward to the angry comments that we're going to get on this about someone saying there's just absolutely no misogyny on these forums. It was ridiculous. We're just looking for stuff that ain't there. Also, fuck off. We don't care about your comments. I've been waiting all night to be in a meeting with King Lou.

If you can call it that, a man has to be incredibly careful because the system is in place. Because the system in place has reduced love to an early warning that as a man, you'll soon lose everything through the courts. More like Uncle Incel.

I'm working on it. Is Uncle Al the name of the Boomer comic you're from? Big nose phone, man. Uncle Al doesn't understand gender, queer. Uncle Al Bundy. As the LHP, left-hand path, is an individual one, it wasn't that hard for me to give up on society's no way of winning games.

As a young man, there were women around who had something I really wanted. They all played the you can look but you can't. They all kept the gold. They all played the you can look but you can't. I'll get your gold, my pretty!

If you wanted to fuck witches, that would explain why he's on the forum. Decades later, I discovered how to cure cancer quickly and cheaply. Okay. That's good. All of the cancer cures I've come up with have been so expensive. Women wanted to play the game that you can look but you can't touch.

Later, I discovered cancer. I like to let women with cancer know that I have a cure and when they become interested I now play the old you can look but you can't touch game. Going into a cave. Wait, I'm the bad guy? I don't understand.

Just kicking down the door to someone's chemo tube. At one point in my life he's just exposing the double standard. At one point in my life Just kicking down the door to someone's chemo tube. I found some cancer in the little known land of D's. Why don't people want to fuck me? Listen, he's just exposing the double standard. At one point in my life, women weren't interested in me. Now, I let them die. I don't see how that makes me the bad guy. Okay, I'll gal out.

You're joking, but what's your next sentence? That said, I'm still in front of the mirror working on that little smile that young women used to give me. Haven't quite nailed it yet! Great. Well, Uncle Al didn't sound... That was a story. Uncle Al didn't seem like a super great guy, but I bet Magic Mike is. Oh, no, my name is McGick Mike, which I saw that, and I'm like, that's actually a really legit, really great name, and I really like it.

I hope that what McGick Mike says really enforces my opinion of him so far. Cool dude, I bet. Let's find out. The new sexual revolution happening globally at a slow pace is called men going their own way. Yay! Yay! Worth a Google! Worth a Google. Oh, McGick Mike, why did you...

Worth a Google, folks! McGick Mike, I had such hopes. Maybe he's talking about the Magic the Gathering online world. Magic Gathering the Outer Wilds. Yeah, you know, that's a great... It's the new mobile version.

I really like it. It's on the Amazon store. It's on the Amazon store and it's full of stolen assets. So, Portax, your name's System and I think you wanted to share... You were telling me earlier on.

You were telling me earlier on in this recording that you wanted to share your instant turn on hor on you were telling me earlier on in this recording you wanted to uh share your instant turn on horny spell yes i am system instant turn on two different things that's why they need the slash on them actually hi guys and a huge space for some reason this is very very powerful spell that when read will immediately turn on the opposite sex and is also one of the merciless spells that will instantly urge your partner

to bed with you no matter how cold or frigid your partner is or no matter how strange the partner is. This spell works! So like Ally Sheedy? Is that what you mean? Yes! Ally Sheedy Breakfastidi, is that what you mean? Yes!

Ali Shidi Breakfast Club, not Ali Shidi Short Short. To be clear, I meant Ali Shidi the character. It only works, actually, on Ali Shidi. The spell was secretly obtained from a chief in the I've-Been-Tribes-in-Bornio. I'm kinda racist. That's cool too. The living proof that the spell works is that the chief has

18 wives. And you said you were kinda racist. And he is well over 80 years old. No, I'm not a kick in the butt area. I like the idea that the chief was like, here's a list of spells, and they were

cure cancer, other ones, and he was like, ooh, it's the turn on horny spell. I like it. And then the other guy showed up later and used the cancer one and went, well, this is probably going to be late, I don't know. Wait, I'll say I

have this and not use it with women then watch them die that guy was like damn it i should stop giving these spells away to these weird horny white guys why am i doing this why is why is my why is my remote village a clearinghouse for 40 white mcgick dudes? Because their headquarters to Reddit is just like down the street. Here is the spell. Sit anywhere you wish without being

detected and without blocking your view of the person. Rub your thumb slowly but quite forcefully with your index finger, murmuring softly. When I rub my thumb, I am in fact rubbing the clitoris. Penis! Of that girl!

Boy! Oh, okay, so it's like double, so it's like, yeah. If you're going to sit here, you need to order something. Yeah! Yeah! I'm busy. Jerking off my own thumb. What the fuck are you doing down there?

What are you doing down there? Dots, dots, dots, dots. Her name or the color of dress if Strager. Strager? Yeah, if strager. So you rub your thumb and you go, when I rub my thumb, I am in fact rubbing the clitoris of that girl, pink. Hey.

If you're colorblind, you better watch out. You might track the wrong person on X. I'm pretty sure pink is married and has kids. When I rub my thumb, I'm in fact rubbing the clitoris of that girl, sort of like an off-white. It's got kind of like a pattern on it, like plaid. I don't know. Let her show her love to me. Let her show her desire to me.

Nang pa buang, pa buang ala mingli, lag ragi dung duck, ragi pun tun duck, denden bur cat, doa akulalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Owee maway, owee maway, owee maway, owee maway. I was about to comment that you had just dropped the whole, you know, switching between, you know,

giving options for both genders, and then it went in a totally different direction. And that only cost me $10,000. Hi. Hi. Hi. What's going on? My name is, I think it's Zellerta.

Zellerta. Anyways. So on my way to school, this girl gets on the same bus as me and i find her attractive i sit at the very back of the bus alone and she sits few seats in front of me but within my field of vision since i'm at the all at the back all alone so i think oh well what a good opportunity to pull this spell for a test drive chances a few times and notices the girl from time time throwing glances back at me when we we alight... Once again, the bus is the best place. The best place.

When we alight, she doesn't seem as calm as she was before the spell. I didn't have the time to talk to her, though. This guy doesn't like getting late for classes, but this guy...

What's got two thumbs and is's always on time to class? But I have a feeling I'll be seeing her soon. He has two thumbs and is jerking off both of them. That's impressive. That said, you just take one thumb and then you wrap the fingers

and then you do it with the other thumb. Yeah, sort of make a little bit of a loop. Use the big toe. I'm glad I can teach you this, Boot. I'm doing it right. I'm going to keep doing it for the other yeah sort of make a little bit of yeah use the big toe i'm glad i'm doing it right now i'm glad i could teach you this boot i'm doing it right i'm gonna keep doing it for the rest of the episode good great that sounds great yeah yeah just know that every time you hear my voice just i'm getting horny already boots that said the potency of the spell is not something i can't question and since it works almost immediately, I think this is the real deal right here, lusty fellas. Wait, what?

Shout out to my lusty fellas. You know, you read this spell, she gets creeped out by you. Yep. She never wants to see you again. I cast a spell on a woman, and she didn't like it at all, so I think I'm on the right track.

Scrolling through some more, we got some more forum conversations. There's some crazy anti-Semitism happening later on. That's not fun. Just going to skip right past that. And into this, my name is Yesi, and gang stalking and or targeted individuals demand dismantling such an egregore, which is a... Egregore. It's like Igor if he's particularly egregious. Did anyone ever consider that there might be an elitist group in the dark web who is betting and playing games on more regular people?

I have heard of such a thing in a German gang-stalking video. Oh, no. And both German and gang-stalking are capitalized, which means that it's a kind of... It's a specific sub-niche. It's that same face, only the U is upside down. And un-lot.

And un-lot. Undere lot. And how it is assumed to become as become a million dollar industry, you know, gang stalking a million dollar industry. I don't quiet understand why this has never been mentioned on American YouTube videos and nobody is considering it. I was spending hours to find such a program, uh, or game in the dark web, unfortunately with no success. Sure, that's what you were searching for.

That's what I was searching for. It was just, you know, I mean, well, not all of my time was spent on YouTube, but I was watching videos all the time. Anyway, I believe they could be watching individuals and placing bets on how targets will react and

who achieves the best results with different methods. Targets could be, targets could being watched and spied via cell phones, computers, hidden cameras, the end of my list. I am sure they use McGick and rituals on TIs. And if you're new to this podcast, TI means targeted individual, which means actual real person that is always being targeted by Texas instruments. Yes. Yeah. T.I. means targeted individual, which means actual real person that is always being targeted by game owners.

Texas Instruments, yes. You could do McGee on a Texas Instruments computer and expel boobs. So it would be even more difficult to understand the source of this sick game. A book named My Life Changed Forever by Elizabeth Sullivan mentioned

this exact same assumption. She also heard of a game. No, wait, nope. She also heard of a game. Because the things happening to her were so out of line and so absolutely childish, often impossible

to comprehend with logic. FX For example, I guess. childish often impossible to comprehend with logic fx for example example oh oh i've never seen four or or fucking fuck example yeah fuck this example she was looking forward to a sale of her favorite shoe brand and she headed to the shop i like to talk in specific what the fuck just to find out that a strange woman came in and bought all the shoes of this brand an hour ago

a large number of shoes that she had to carry twice to her car so gang stalking right I mean fucking proof positive like you can deny it but like if you hear an anecdote like that obviously gang stalking some people have enough children that they cover every single shoe size.

She bought all of the shoes. In all the sizes. In all of the sizes. This way, over time, targets become insecure, intimidated, and extremely anxious. It is the severe amount of weird, strange occurrences that sets the target off, which mentioned alone, are simply considered stupid or coincidence. You don't understand. I've been trying to buy shoes for a year. This lady keeps buying all the shoes before I get to every store.

This paragraph is about to get unfortunately real. If you believe this might be too far-fetched, Google the elite pedophile ring that was discovered on Dr. Phil and cruelty these children had to endure. Discovered on Dr. Phil? Yeah. Quite possibly. I mean, like, yeah, I wouldn't put, yeah. He's a big guy. He can hold an entire pedophile ring on his back.

He has his own ecosystem. Got his own gravity. got his own gravity you can only imagine what some insane individuals in power are determined to arrange out of boredom alright go buy the shoes

whenever you buy shoes buy all of them look when you're done with the elite pedophile ring for the day you go buy all these shoes to piss off one woman and will like just knowing that it happened will make me happy ring for the day you go buy all these shoes to piss off one woman. And will like, just knowing that it happened will make me happy? I don't have to see the result or anything.

Say, Victor. Yes? I got a choice for you. Oh. Would you like to read the thread titled Erectile Dysfunction Curse? Nope. Well, in that case,

do you want to read the thread called the vampire? Oh God. Uh, no, no more vampires, please. No more. Then it's the,

then it's the erectile dysfunction. Vampire of joy, erectile dysfunction. Uh, yeah. So, uh, your name is Kitta, K Joy erectile dysfunction. Yeah, so your name is Kitta, K-I-T-T-A. Kitta. In May of 2017, he posted this. Hello, everyone!

I need your ideas about an erectile dysfunction curse. Ask if erectile dysfunction curse. That's right. I decided this would be the best for my enemy as I was abused in many ways by him. This is going

to be my present so he can enjoy his new girlfriend. Please, guys, I need your brainstorming and ideas to put together a very nice one. Thank you! Okay, okay, very nice one. That sounds great. What do you got there, okay, very nice one. That sounds great.

What do you got there, Lou? Three months later. I know this is old, but wonder if you have any updates? I did a working on my ex a few years back. I took a dill pickle and sliced it open lengthwise, but not all the way through completely. Filled the pickle up with alum to make his junk shrivel up tight. Red pepper to make him burn,

and I use one more ingredient that I can't recall. That wasn't part of the curse. What else did you use, Lou? I used alum and red pepper, and then I used one more ingredient that I can't recall at the moment. Okay.

I do so many boner curses, I can't remember the ingredients to all of them. Yeah. Maybe it was hummus. What would that do? That would sound good. Satsuki. You know what? It just makes the whole thing really easy to eat.

Yes, it's that classic pickle and hummus flavor. All the alum I like to eat with my pickles. I pinned the opening back together with nine pins, and I put in a pair of his underwear.

I did all this while focusing on him and my intentions. I soaked the undie, wrapped pickle in vinegar to further sour his sex life, then put it in a bag in the freezer. Boy, did he hate finding that! No, he didn't say that. He didn't hate the penis thing, he just hated

the mess. He was like, oh, those pickles in that underwear were gross. In less than two weeks, he told me he was having medical problems and was going to have a procedure. He didn't say what, though, but I had a hard time not laughing. Why would your ex tell you this? I have to have a procedure.

Am I still in your health care plan? He told me he was sick and I laughed. Valkaroth, I was curious about your suggestion. Do you think an orange candle could be appropriate? I thought the sacred chakra was more responsible for the sex organs. Ten months later. Hi, my name is Hardhat. Sorry to interrupt interrupt but what if I'm having trouble getting it up please is there anyone that can help me get it up again

there is no response check your girlfriend's refrigerator for a cold pickle I believe this is going to be the last sort of conversation here in this forum. Victor, you're going to be taking the mantle of Uncle Al here, because Uncle Al has a real problem. I know

that we might have sort of formed some opinions about Uncle Al, but Uncle Al's got a real problem. I'm going to try to reform and redeem Uncle Al. Right, right. He's got a real problem. He deserves your sympathy. He deserves your care reform and redeem Uncle Al right right he's got a real problem he deserves your sympathy he deserves your care Lou ruined Uncle Al

and this is his rehabilitation tour my Uncle Al lets women die of cancer yes so after suggesting that he would trade that for sex this is the reboot this is the new Uncle Al

Uncle Al Part 2. Everywhere I go, women, women of all ages and types who all only want one thing, try to seduce me. This is the opposite of the only thing that they wanted previously. To live.

To live and keep living. They're trying to steal that cancer cure from them. Listen, I don't go to parties. Look, I don't go to parties. Look, I don't go to parties anymore because I always ended up collapsed on the coat bed from all of the really filthy and debased sexual acts the women at said parties, working alone, in tandem, or in groups, forced me to perform. The obesity.

The lack of breath. forced me to perform. The obesity. The lack of breath. Hey, hey, frankly, I'm sick of being treated like something between a sex god and a sex object. I'm not saying that it's rape, but it's often very close. Oh, God. Okay.

You know what? Look, Uncle Al is the victim here, guys. Yeah, I never liked Mark Wahlberg's music, but I think he's a pretty good writer. God damn. I disagree. Sure, these one-dimensional women take me out, buy me dinner and a few top shelf drinks, but it's always

and only with one purpose to get a bit of me in bed. Often it involves often it involves acts we could only perform in motel showers so we could cleanse ourselves and wash what was left down the grated drain hole and over and over again i used to fall for it i just not this time shame on you anyway if anyone could offer any help i'd be deeply gratified as it's near impossible for me to live anything like a normal life.

Women in shops, on the streets, at cafes, indeed everywhere. They never even ask, let alone remember my name. No, it's just sex. That's all that matters to these heartless bitches. To them, I'm just throbbing blood-engorged gristle and a set of balls garlanded to a life-support body. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Anyway, sorry to rant, but I had to both get this off of my chest, so to speak, and seek help at the same time. Ow. P.S. Do you have a postscript? Sorry about the same time. Ow. P.S. Do you have a postscript? Sorry. About the gross dick.

Sorry about who I am in general. I've got a reply to this. My name is Beast Creature. And here I am with my own dick in hand, being all jealous reading this. Beast Creature. I think I have the opposite of will you have woman's hand being all jealous reading this? Beast creature! I think I have the opposite of will you have

women's run away from me? I had a situation where I could easy get laid. I slept in many places where before bed I would lie down with a woman and watch a movie but nothing happened. She would run away only once

or twice. I got to snuggle. That's it. I'm 27 years old, still a virgin. I think I have spirit wife from previous lifetimes. And she put this energy on me that if a woman approached, she runs from the hills for me. My situation is unexplainable. I once had a woman who told me she fell in love with me and then I told her, well, you're the first to tell me that and I'm still a virgin. She could not be live when she heard that

and she just stopped talking to me. I guess she doesn't like fresh meat, Lampfow. What? I'm laughing so much I'm crying. she doesn't like fresh meat, Lampfow. What? I'm laughing so much I'm crying. She doesn't like fresh meat! Oh, did I mention I'm good-looking and athletic with muscles and six-pack abs?

You didn't need to. I think I pretty much guessed that. Is this Ryan Lochte? Ryan Lochte. What a fucking reference. nobody's thought about that guy in a decade whatever i also i also did the letter of intent to get a succubus and i think the succubus also ran away from me i'm really laughing a lot at that one. So I made this about myself and I could not give you advice. By the way, my name is Beast Creature.

Beast Creature. I'm gonna get Beast Creature and Uncle Al together and I'm gonna pitch a Freaky Friday remake to Miramax. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. John Toast. Yes.

I see the very bottom of this document that we got here from Napoleon Ballinapart has some poetry in it. There is some Night Before Christmas, but we'll just skip past that one. But we're going to miss how it totally doesn't scan in a poem everybody's heard a million times. It'll be the one night before Christmas where it completely falls apart. Yeah, absolutely. Actually, can we just get

Portex to read the first line of that poem? Alright, Portex, the first line of that Night Before Christmas poem, please. Alright, towards the night before Christmas and all through the balg everyone was stirring because they were all summoning demons and cursing. Oh, it's just like how I remember it. That rhyme.

That A, B, Z rhyme structure. Jingle. Jingle sleigh bells. Just that. A lot of name drops in that poem, too. Yeah. So anyway, I got a choice that i would like you to make

okay uh the first one uh these poems don't have uh titles uh so i'm just gonna give these titles uh there's a poem by a sea candle which is i'm gonna call my poem of me in the lake of fire okay uh the uh the next option uh by shubham dinga. It is called Hail Lord Lucifer. I think that's it. I'm going to go for that one. That's a no-brainer. All right. Well, then, if you'll please take the poem, Hail Lord Lucifer, please.

Shubham Dingra. Shubham Dingra. Shubham Dingra. In my most loneliest time, when I closed my eyes, I found nothing but just darkness inside. I tried. I fight. Even ones I succeeded to hide. But I was right. Everyone lied. Even the truth was denied. Space comma. I kept walking space comma inside. In search of a bright light. I looked here and there. Tried finding you everywhere.

For one space comma I felt. Left is no hope and lair. When I turned to step back. I found a snack. A snack of white light. Which tasted just right. Oh he's a kitty. I saw you there inside.

You visual of a red dragon. You dark fallen angel. You hooded handsome man. With a very sharp sight. You goat face god. I love you a lot. You are the executioner. Hail Lord Lucifer.

Blackheart. Hi. I'm here now. Now I'm in the podcast. Oh, so what's your name? My name is Starboy. Starboy! Hey guys, this is my first attempt ever at a poem. Morning Star, when the light greets us, so do you. A master of everything so true, a power above all what is said.

I know for sure that you are not dead. What? A great king to all. A king that will never let us fall. A best friend, Clannach, by your side. No force against us can take us for a ride. Power, riches, and material

things of the world is what I desire. With no doubt, I will have it before I retire tomorrow. This is some real hot water music right here. Brings me joy. You are power and might. But with you I will win my fight.

My blood and soul is all I have. If you wish, you shall have. Nice. Mike Jones. My wealth is not great. have. Nice. Good. Mike Jones. Wow. My wealth is not great, but I know with you and Clownak with me,

it shall become more than great. Oh no. Yeah, do it again. One day you will realize you are king. Then they will see their god is nothing but a thing. You will hear my cry and feel my pain. I know you will realize you are king. Then they will see their god as nothing but a thing. You will hear my cry and feel my pain. I know you will take it out

and put it in the drain. Oh, fucking... That's my hot fire. I call out to you from afar. The Morning Star is what you are. Bring it up alive. I can't wait to see you inside. Star Boy, South Africa.

Thank you. What did we learn about becoming living gods? I am not going to get tired of magic idiots. It's just a teaser. We need to pay $21.99

to find out what we really need to know to become. Oh, do you pay for forum access? Oh, no. I'm talking about the actual products. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of excellent products. Like, we only did a little bit of the catalog, but there is quite a bit in the catalog that you can buy. And they all have photos that are ceaselessly delightful.

I learned that even if the guy who found your website says, you know, people don't like it when women are sexual, but they like it when men are sexual. It's a double standard. It doesn't really matter if he explicitly says that. Everyone in the forum will still be like, I know, right? Women be sluts. They're horrible and I hate them.

I want to cast a magic spell to make them want to fuck me. Yeah, they'll stick with your premise for like a couple seconds, though. Be like, yeah, you're right. It is not a... Anyway, fucking filthy sluts. How do I make them fuck me?

Man, yeah, all of the products here, the very, very expensive products, they all have intro videos so that's sort of a Kickstarter kind of approach 24-7 help desk Oh, okay, cool Let's call them right now

Yeah, can I do like a live chat sort of thing? Bring them into the call. Hang on while we connect you to your demonic party. Oh, just get that off of me. So what's going on with your spell? Something's not working? People not getting horny? Hit me, hit me. Tell me what you got going on.

Did you try cutting off the connection to the demonic powers and then reconnecting to the demonic powers? Usually that refreshes everything, and then you can finish the spell. Do you have it updated? Did you update your grimoire? Uninstall it, reinstall it. Our website, once again again thefpl.us there is a game and you can play it

at kinda dot fun uh that's all we got uh fucking go do something else bye see ya I guess bye bye see ya I guess bye how does it feel to be breaking apart

breaking down my cues how does it feel to be out of control Another ring around this phone Used to be alright But things got strange