The F Plus - 361: Night of the Blood Sorceress

Episode Date: October 9, 2021

The Sorceress Cagliastro is an author, a teacher, a necromancer, a bloodwitch, a haunted doll maker, a 3D printmaker, and a relentless huckster. To that end, she has a whole lot of crap you can buy and classes you can take, as long as you promise you won't ever share anything you've learned with anyone else. It's a blood oath, I suppose. This week, The F Plus is filling your head with graveyard dirt.

Welcome to the Blood Plus Podcast. A terrible demon red with iron oxide. In the room tonight we have Lemon. I offer my work in larger than average print and room to write, as my audience tends to study in dim light or candlelight, and occasionally they study in unconventional places. Achilles Heelies. Fuck is it love, it's fuck.

Ironicus. Consultation with the firm, an elite group of sorcerers operating under the leadership of the sorceress Cagliastro. One hour meeting, $500. Shell game. The sorceress Cagliostro personally raises moths. She collects their wings and provides them to her master perfumer. And boots rain gear.

When he was not speaking, his face showed signs of agitation. His mouth was puckered and working. He looked damnably wicked and frightened. Making lunch again? Hey, F-Plus. Hey, Boots. Oh, hi, Boots. Oh, hi. Hey, Boots. KF Plus. Hey, Boots. Oh, hi, Boots. Oh, hi.

Hey, Boots. Hey, Lemon, Heelys, Ironicus, Shellgame. Are you feeling a little bit magical tonight? Well, I'm not wearing my hat, so... Is it a magical hat? Well, I mean, it's like sort of plush, and it's got the poop emoji on it. Oh, yeah. It came from Kumquat, didn't it?

Therefore magical. I got a poop hat from Kumquat. Oh, it's less magical now. Sorry, Lemon. Yeah. So, well, you know, that's pretty magical. But we could learn to be more magical. We could be the most magical.

We could be extraordinarily magical. Okay. That sounds exciting. That sounds exciting. Yeah, because Amy just sent us this doc. Well, like just, I mean, 2017. But Amy sent us a doc about a sorceress named Cagliastro. So magical. It's coming to us through time.

Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know. We dug it up. We've been stepping out of the whole bunch. We're going to dust it off. We're going to check up with this lady's about. Bettina on this doc is very good.

She's not just a sorcerer. She's a teacher. And you're telling me this is the very first document that Hayao Miyazaki compiled? That's so exciting. So you say she's a sorceress. I have two very important questions. Yes.

Does she have appalling web design aesthetics? Yes. And does she have shit to sell me uh she does have both of those uh the shit she has to sell you is extraordinarily cheap but also expensive uh and so we'll get into that it's great it's great it's gonna be great we're gonna learn an awful lot um and let's just dive in uh hey lemon yeah what was that uh give us the the bio the about her for sorceress cagliastro oh sure uh so you want to know about the sorceress cagliastro blood sorceress necromancer in the hands of nine nine what uh the hands of nine the hands of nine so whatever seven of Nine was, she was in the hands of all of them. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the sorceress Cagliastro has created the Iron Ring, okay? A science of sorcery practiced through which to explore the broader gaze of the experience of sorcery for individuals of a mindset to learn blood sorcery. I'm not going to identify the words that are incomprehensibly capitalized, because a bunch of them are. Some things are capitalized, some things aren't. As for why, that's not for you to divine. Yeah, we, yeah.

It's part of the lessons, I'm sure. Sure. So anyway, you can learn blood sorcery, you can learn necromancy, divination, directional sorcery. My sorcery keeps missing! I knew this! Surely none of those could possibly... Surely you can't learn all of those. I mean, one of them

has to be a forbidden school. There's the static practice and related work. The sigil for the sorceress Cagliastro and the Iron Ring are one and the same, as she considers herself the conduit to the information ellipsis

she's the pope of this thing uh if you desire personal instruction or private consultation reading or sorcery with the sorceress cagliostro either in person by phone or live online feed to or to register for online live feed classes, or if you are PRESS, and it's in all caps because it's like a little coupon that you put in your hat, send an email to this email address, and you will be

contacted with efficiency. Man, that email's gonna get sent to you real good. Mime type is gonna to be dead on man uh yeah you you wanted you did you know more about sorceress cagliostro you're right oh please yeah okay okay okay i can never learn enough about her i don't think i mentioned this but sorceress cagliostro blood sorceress necromancer in the hands of nine yeah so she's a well-established author and publisher and lecturer and teacher and demon handler and necromancer and exorcist and a bunch of other things. I'm going to repeat myself for a while. and this is in all caps, 24 other books on the science of sorcery as well as fiction and screenplays

based on her experiences with demons and the Disincarnate. So don't invite her to parties. Got it. I'm not dead. I'm disincarnate. Recently through her publishing company North Sea Tales, the sorceress has also published books under the project name of Rescued

Knowledge Project, a Cagliastro Endeavor. Not that she likes to, you know, just name things or anything. It wouldn't be there without her, okay? See, I'm in! That knowledge, like, ran aground on the rocks and was

stranded for years at a time. Lemon, what the hell are these books?'s a mission oh my god okay rescued knowledge project a cagliastro endeavor these books uh are historical books of a broad gaze of interest okay that's all i need to know uh ironicus hmm uh you know i i like to dabble in magic i like to dabble in uh just like general weird old shit uh can you tell me about the art of mummification it is a not so completely lost art this is an art one that manipulates the impression of immortality. People have a profound interest in the process of remaining in some way. It hits a nerve.

Mummification is not a clean process. It is difficult, messy, and unpleasant in many ways, so it is not for the squeamish five periods. If you're mummifying somebody and you hit a nerve, I don't think you're doing it right.

That is some evasive mummification. Consider that you are handling the ongoing visual presence of a previously living creature. It must be done with care and significant reverence and, of course, patience. Mummification, like death, takes its time and tells you, the mummifier, when it is good and ready. And then, and only then, is there completion five periods. You're just going to want to whip these bandages around. The mummy will tell you when it's finished. Right, so that was just...

Oh, that was just like a sample quote of you talking about mummies. Yeah, if you go to the website of a sourdough starter if you go to the website though there's there's you can find out how much it costs how long the uh sessions were i mean that's just an estimate right i mean it takes its time it tells you when it's good and ready i don't know can you tell us about the uh the payments that were required for this modification oh well the cost of full training well that was nine hundred dollars and that that's four saturdays once a month from six to ten p.m

eastern and there is a 4545 materials fee, which is brought with you the first session. So this cost, this full training cost of $900, I mean, you could set that value to be whatever, because it's not like there's any sort of limit, right? No, there's actually

only 10 available seats. I'll have you know. And she's doing all she can to make it possible for individuals to attend, so she's offering options. Now, if I use the store brand, Muslin, can I knock down that $45 materials fee? Yeah, you're not bringing that shit in here. Get out. Oh, this is great, because the esteemed perfumer Darren Allen White, providing the scents we utilize in the process. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

He's also a student of blood sorcery, studying under the tutelage of, oh, guess who? Sorceress Cagliostro for several years. Oh! I love that when you want to pay the $900 for this mummification project, you're just taken to a completely unbranded page that asks for your credit card number. Like, welcome to FirstData.com. What's your credit card number? That's very much the payment processing for a porn site. Give her $900 for a session that happened in 2018 and hasn't happened since, apparently.

With each different... Death has not been good and ready yet. They're still working on it. Well, death is only the beginning. With each type of payment, instead of what I assume should be some sort of delayed billing option, there's just separate links. Yeah. sort of delayed billing option. There's just separate links.

Yeah. So for the three payment option, you have to get the deposit, and then there's another link to payment two, and then there's another link to the final payment. Naturally. So, like, I don't know. Mummification sounds complicated.

I'd rather go for maybe some easy courses. Some beginner courses. I feel. I don't go for it. Maybe some easy courses. Some beginner courses. I feel like I'm just starting into magic at this point, which is weird because we've learned so much about magic over the last 11 years of this podcast. What's McGick versus magic? It's very different. That's a good point.

That's a good point. Heelys. Yeah. Can you tell us about the beginner and core advanced classes, etc.? Yeah. Beginner and core advanced classes, etc. Four dots, as always. Six dots, I think.

No belief system required. Scroll down for sedation classes. Ugh. Alright, now we're gonna roof yourselves. Yeah. How online classes work. Whoa. Oh. Each week, students are sent the link

to join their class. Your global location is irrelevant. Really? I can access your Zoom meeting from anywhere? Students can attend from anywhere. I like my apartment, though. I don't feel irrelevant here. This is a nice place.

It is irrelevant. I do not care about your apartment and where it exists in the globe. Students can attend from anywhere, and the program used, GoToMeeting, can be used... Ooh, even worse. Yeah. You said Zoom.

I thought 2017. Oh, this is definitely Adobe GoToMeeting. That's why Blood Sorcery doesn't work on Zoom. Wait, wait, sorry. Because they're harvesting too much of your data. Here on Microsoft Teams, we believe in collaboration, in blood sorcery.

Can't be used on nearly any electronic device, but not very well. Registration throughout the beginner and advanced course is possible as the materials are on a continuous cycle. Current beginner course is offered as the learn as you listen with monthly support. See beginner class below.

The information in these classes is original material and therefore the class fees are non-refundable. Students who attempt to publish materials from this course or any other materials created by the Sorceress Cagliastro or who misrepresent her materials as their own, or who violate copyright

restrictions, will be asked to leave, will not be refunded, will be pursued for copyright infringement, and will be subject to acts of sorcery. Yeah! Oh no! Oh yeah, I want to show up to this online class. Alright, I'm teaching this shit!

Violators will be transubstantiated. Yeah, I made it up. No online class. Alright, I'm teaching this shit. Violators will be transubstantiated. Yeah, I made it up. No refunds. But does she teach revenge sorcery in this? No, because then they would use it against her. Right. Course materials are for students and not... I just searched.

Yes, she does. These are for students and not to be shared. And all classes end with a Q&A time. Yes, yes, boots. These are for students and not to be shared. And all classes end with a Q&A time. Yes, yes, yes. Learning should not be spread. No, then you can eventually usurp her. This is the fucking rule of two.

Yeah, the perfumer knows how to play along. He stays under her thumb and he gets part of the cut. Should I keep going, boots? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please tell us the curriculum. Okay. Well, hold on. BEGINNER CLASS!

For immediate instruction, scroll down. Learn as you listen for beginner students. Next online live feed session, TBA! Class meets four Mondays per month, 9.30pm to 11 p.m. Eastern time all classes pretty a actually I mean yeah how many Mondays are in them

well she's got the secret Mondays that's in class like seven you know I love the secret Mondays first album students are supported through email the sorceress between classes to assist if necessary. The course covers a curriculum for beginner classes. Register, click here.

Month one, blood sorcery. Sorcery episode. Wait, hold on. Yeah, sorry, yeah. That's where we start. Uh-huh. Sorcery. All right, everybody, we're just going to take it easy.

I want everybody to read the syllabus Now how to do blood sorcery Oh god I left my blood at home Oh god Hey hey hey Can I get some of your blood I didn't study Bring your own blood god Come on man I'm I'm gonna fail!

I just got a transfusion. No talking during the blood exam. Lance Armstrong aced this class. Sorcery applications of blood sorcery, materials, and magnetics associated. Q&A. Magnetics. So this is like, this is

moving, this is waterbending but for blood, right? Like moving blood around. Well, that's an episode, actually. Like just giving people gout. It's the forbidden waterbending. It's true. Month two, directional sorcery. Sorcery application of directional sorceryy materials, polarities, and magnetics associated.

And Q&A. Month three. There's a lot of magnetism happening in sorcery. Yeah, well, it'd be a shame if there was stuff I couldn't sell you for these classes. Magnets are like nature's magic if you think about it. Really, they're just fridge magnets with quick facts about blood sorcery, directional sorcery

to help you study. And they tell you the signs to know if you're having a stroke. There's also a number for a plumber there. Just ignore it. It is easy to have a stroke if you do blood sorcery wrong month three is static practice slash chaos void so we're gonna we're gonna rub a balloon

against my sweater is that static chaos uh it's very it's very chaotic but it is unmoving yeah yeah yeah no i think in order to achieve both static practice and chaos void, you have to have a lot of hair that stands up immediately when you get the shock. You have to also be at least level 7 before you switch to your prestige class.

Right. Do you need magnets for this one, too? Month 4! Of course you do. Month four, the iron ring. The iron ring? That sounds great. Is iron magnetic? Wait,

aren't you the iron ring? Maybe, and also, you're gonna learn about the applications of me, the iron ring. And maybe you'll have some magnets and some shit. I don't know. Yay. It takes all the way until month four before she starts talking about herself.

She doesn't want to come on. Sure it does. Oh, yeah, because she hates talking about herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Month five, the boxes. Yeah. Sudoku month. Source the applications

of The Boxes, Materials, Imagery, Effigies, and Magnetics Associated. Okay, okay, thank god, thank god. Month 6, Week 1 and 2, Necromancy.

Necromancy doesn't get a whole damn month. It's like pretty fucking easy. Explain what Necromancy is. It's communication with a disincarnate dead. But not with magnets. And no magnets apparently. And then week three and four

is Demon Works communication work with demons and discussion on attending demons hey kids welcome to Demon Works, wanna play Time Crisis? uh yeah

so I think at this point we can hey can I can I just really quick explain what the boxes are? Yeah, please. Please explain what the boxes are. I need to know about these boxes. All right, well, the boxes... Now, I only found this by going into her recordings library,

and by library, I mean store. Uh-huh. No books will exist! This is the only way to hear about this information. Your energy manipulation skills will benefit greatly from this one-time opportunity. The boxes are the most pliable and immediate fixative, restorative, and actualizing mechanism in the science of sorcery. I have said I will never write much about them, and I stand by that!

What about all these other books that you're selling on Amazon right now? No, that's about other stuff. Oh, okay. This is the pay $100 one-time opportunity. Three-day rental. So the Blood Sorcery Bible Volume 1 and 2

doesn't cover... That's fine. Okay, okay. That's fine. No, the masses can handle that. They can't handle the boxes. All right, that's why it's a starter class. I remember that feeling when I moved into my irrelevant apartment. Just so sick of boxes.

You know what? I don't remember that at all. Hey, Shell Game. Yeah? I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm a very spiteful person. I did know that about you. And as a result, I have a lot of detractors. And I just like to get rid of them.

Could you tell me about a course that you're offering called Burning the Field Sedation? Absolutely. Oh my god. Which is subtitled Removal of Detractors from Your Life. Yeah, that's exactly what I want. Yeah, okay. Just remove them. Yeah, this is an online live feed real time course, so better sign up quick.

So Bill Maher is there. That's great. Love it. Start the clock. Now, this is the removal of enemies, detractors, those who sabotage you, backstabbers, and those

who are wasting your time and energy. So Bill Maher won't be there for very long, okay? The purpose of this is a broad sweep of these individuals as well as the inclusion of those who are hidden, yet whose actions are draining and distracting you. I will also show the attendees the void in which this wasted time and toxic malfeasance has maintained its drain by creating a collective consciousness.

We all have Twitter, lady. Collective consciousness presentation, so each participant can see that within their own placement. I will bore you and make you uncomfortable. A basic understanding of sorcery is recommended however not required for this sedation 10 participants only for burning the

fields what does she mean by sedation there's more than 10 participants we run out of i mean she's going to bore them she's sedating them yeah that's that's fucking true yeah and so that's you know more sort of beginner stuff once you get into the core or advanced which isn't really what core means but okay nope nope um uh classes for every wednesday night uh you know but this is sorcery that really like works on your core, like it tones your abs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got leg day. Gosh, you gotta use my ab blood? I mean, that's, oh, that's what the boxes or box jumps, okay.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. The core classes will discuss the main work of iron ring system, sorcery, which includes blood, sorcery, necromancy on all levels, magnetics, energy, the boxes, directional sorcery, which includes Blood Sorcery, Necromancy on all levels, Magnetics, Energy, the Boxes, Directional Sorcery, Iron Ring Work, Rituals, Sigils, and blah, blah, blah. But I just want to get into each Wednesday afternoon, a link is sent by email to students

for attending the class. Follow that link for online live feed classes. Here's a sample of some of the class subjects that will be covered in these classes. Blood Sorcery. Connecting to your blood. Intro to usage and techniques. Integration of techniques. Did we not learn that in the beginner courses?

So much. So, how many times I gotta relearn blood sorcery? This curriculum is fucked up. The evisceration of doctrine. There we go. Oh, okay. Now I'm in. A discussion on corporeal necromancy.

Materials. Metals, magnets, iron, carbon, rods, and coal in use in sorcery. Magnets in sorcery. Sex. Sex in sorcery. The power of magnets. Why not?

The iron ring utilizing the iron ring and the virtual iron ring. The virtual iron ring. For all manner of sorcery and working with demons that require trapping and or protection of the self. Do I connect to the virtual iron ring through GoToMeeting?

Divination with a partnership through necromancy. Menstrual blood usage. Yay! Usage, manipulation, control, the power of this elixir. A discussion in sigil usage, covering building your own sigils, integrating sigils in the science of blood sorcery. Let's see, we've got blood sorcery, we've got

menstrual blood sorcery. I've got some boxes over here. Is that good? It's a recent adoption, but back to the blood. Sorcery for protection, banishment, and punishment of the perpetrator,

i.e. living humans. Yeah, the perpetrator. But what if my dog perpetrated the crime? That's a different course. The boxers, changing the past, utilizing the boxes, and blood sorcery.

Exorcism, possession, and inhabitation,. Exorcism, possession and inhabitation, disincarnate specific, as well as demon specific. Take this class if you're interested in working with demons. I have always been interested in working with demons. Entry level

demon position, two to four years experience required. Oh, damn it! Worry and other deadly toxins. Oh, I like that. I like that. Yay. I like that.

That feels like a class that anytime you would attend it, like 14 Republican senators are in it. Worry, stress, anxiety, guilt, how to utilize the energy flow, and the falsehood of forgiveness. Wow. Oh. That's a sentence that a good person would write. I thought you were supposed to help me get over my worry.

This is not a self-help class. Oh no! Because I do the helping. Agreed. Acquiring, attending demons the static practice understanding and development of technique missing and presumed dead seeing the placement of the body oh my god you can see this sweat boots i'm not sure why you skipped over seeing the placement of the body. Oh my god, you can see the sweat. Boots, I'm not sure why you skipped over Fearlessness in the Darkness!

Right, you're right. Fearlessness in the Darkness! Of course. Synapse and Space-Time Participation in Sorcery. And finally... So, not only are you doing it, but your brain knows that you're doing it?

Oh, these fucking Space-Time kids and their participation trophies. So not only are you doing it, but your brain knows that you're doing it. Fucking space time kids and their participation trophies. And finally, new techniques based on current research. You'll learn that. Oh, I'm seeing something new. Hey, Hey, Aaronicus. Yes?

I'm fucking poor. Teach me about wealth, please. Wealth, a manual and workbook. What it is, how to attain it, how to keep it flowing. Transcript from The Wealth Sedation. Yours for $19.99. Wealth. A practical manual.

A practical manual for all levels, including beginners. Combining the understanding of what it is, how to attain it, how to keep it flowing, combining deconstruction of previous doctrine and reconstruction through pulse work and directional sorcery by Sorceress Cagliastro.

The subject of wealth. What it is. How to attain it. How to keep it flowing. All of these questions are often the subjects of consistent inquiries. It's good of you to leave yourself places to take a break. There are no single periods. Only ellipses.

That's really true. That's really true. That's really true. I think that, no, there's a couple periods, but they are infrequent in this entire website. Yeah, I think I see three. In this transcript of a sedation, a class with a timed set of exercises,

we will look at those issues and focus the teaching on solution methods specifically. These methods are based on a set of structures and associated pillar-slash-sorcery techniques. Botses, might you say? Hmm?

For example, you can sell an e-book to suckers! Although this work is quite useful to individuals who practice the science of sorcery, this particular sedation utilizes pulse markers and directional sorcery, which is a basic understanding of the polarities. People taking

this class do not have to own other books! Only mine. But it helps, I guess! They might own products related to this item, such as the Spellbook for New Witches, the Book of Secret Wisdom, and Crystals for Beginners.

And the King James Bible. Hey man, hey man, I'm not a sophisticated pro. What is this rock? I've got the Demonolator's Guide to Demonic Magic. The Demonolators Guide to Demonic Magic

The Demonolators, yeah Wow However, if one chooses to advance their knowledge about the powerful pillar of directional sorcery, there is an extensive covering of directional sorcery in two of the books, The Science of Sorcery Beginner Course Volume 1

Blood Sorcery, Directional Sorcery Class Transcripts, as well as more advanced manuals, 16 Rooms, and the Use of Black Houses, Advanced Directional Sorcery, regarding the content of the sedation about wealth. Much of this has not been previously taught in this manner, so this is

a single teaching opportunity which is built to cure the issues which stand in the way of attaining wealth by doing the work you're in and allowing it to deconstruct and then reconstruct your presence within wealth! Oh, I thought you were going to suffocate during that sentence. Boots, are you sure that this hermit has all these secrets?

I know that this is my quest, but I'm starting to lose faith. See, you don't have to buy other books. This is a completely different approach to the attainment of, you don't have to buy other books. This is a completely different approach to the attainment of wealth than anything you have previously explored. I should think so.

Take this hour of nonsense. You'll need it on your way. Through guidance, you will be brought through the experience of being in the sensations of wealth, which you may have previously felt as if those opportunities belonged to other. Attendees will be guided through collective consciousness into the focus

to make these re-established and powerful connections. But this is a book. So am I attending the book? This book is useful for beginners and advanced students, as it is my desire to have a substantial group from which to utilize the fund of collective consciousness.

This book brings the attendees through a sensation-based experience where we will focus outside of our accepted territory and physical selves to find an alignment within the wealth. Okay, so the noun for people that experience a book is attendees. Okay, okay. I guess I'm not an English major. I didn't know that. I will first define the structures that allow us to operate in a framework of wealth, then work through a timed removal of non-structural items and an

insertion of abilities that will clear the way for the acceptance of wealth. Is that like when you put the napkin underneath the bar glass and then you remove the napkin? You're familiar with sorcery, yes! I thought she was building skin pockets

to put the money in. Yes. Sea otters are the greatest of wizards. They hide their little rocks. After doing this work, you will think of wealth in a very different way than you have before. Yeah, I'll have less of it. Combine that with functional sorcery practices and wealth becomes just

another part of you, as opposed to that which is always just out of reach or difficult to attain. This book has pages available for notes and revelations. There is also a template of all necessary sigils, blanks for use by the student, and a compass plate! I was just looking at

also in Related a different book by Sorceress Cagliastro called 23 Sigils, Dark Circle Sigils for Selfish Indulgence from the iron ring uh my favorite thing about the description is that in the description she cannot remember if it's called 23 sigils or 25 sigils it is both the secret bonus sigils 26 sigils later on never mind i i also see that she used to uh it appears that she used to it appears that she used to

publish under Madam P.D. Cagliastro she has a book called Many Stories of Justice Seven Really Scary Tales and Lots of Undeserved Consequences I heard about that girl died of fright oh that's right she does write

fiction as well yeah what a departure from what she normally writes Oh, that's right. She does write fiction as well. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's a consensus. What a departure from what she normally writes. Hey, uh... Hey, Lemon, you got something to tell me? Yeah, you know, uh, we learned something, um, from that,

uh, from that helpful hermit, and we learned about, uh, wealth. And that's great, you know. Wealth, um, wealth will bring us comfort, uh, but it won't necessarily bring us happiness. And so to that end, I want to bring the science of sorcery and sex and masturbation. Would you like to excuse me, Ironicus, would you like to own the science of sorcery and sex and masturbation? I like at least two of those things. Okay, okay.

Well, you're not allowed to own it, but I will allow you to rent it for 24 hours. That's all I need, baby. I printed your masturbation on Divix, but then it explodes! You're gonna give me 24 hours? I'm gonna use half of one. Let's go.

So the science of sorcery and sex and masturbation. Fuck you. Oh. Now that I have your attention. Oh, this quote never ends. A lot of mind structures have said that to me over the years. This quote never ends. Oh, no.

It does. It does eventually. It does eventually. Oh, really? Okay. Through guidance, you will be brought through the experience of attendees will be guided... Yeah, okay, let's try that over. Through guidance, you will be brought through the experience of attendees will be guided through collective consciousness into the focus to make connection between all of the pillars of science, sorcery, and sexual component battery that acts like an explosive launchpad

to the work. What kind of battery is that? It's a D cell. It really gets the motor vibrating faster. You shouldn't be masturbating while you write your product description. I've been doing it for years

and it's only served me well. Okay. 18 and above. Gender and preferences irrelevant. I'm actually holding a snifter of brandy right now. Just keep those with your apartment. I do not care. But where on the globe you define your gender preferences.

where on the globe you define your gender preferences um this is all for this is for all to come and play and learn the skill I rarely discuss is there anything that you commonly

discuss oh no no I keep to myself I uh they've called me friends of mine, who, first of all, are numerous and real. They're both numerous and real. One of the things they'll say about me, Sorceress Cagliastro, is they'll say, she's quiet. But one of the things about my quietness is they know when I say something, it is very important. So I held a shut the fuck up.

When I held one of my seminars on the science of sorcery and sex and masturbation, 24-hour rental. I held one of these seminars on Saturday, June 25th at 10pm, and I informed those attendees participants should be in a comfortable, private place. Adult content.

So I'm gonna I'll find the back corner of the library, and I'll be ready to go. Hey, did you used to think that peep show booths are disturbing? Keep digging, motherfucker. This magnets and boxes or something. He leaves. Yeah.

It's time we... So Amy put things into different categories. We're just moving out of the I want to learn how to be an occult scientist section. We're going into her books on Amazon. And I'd like you to tell us about protection class. Hi there. I'm going to tell you about this protection class, proactive protection. Paladin.

There are expanded transcripts from a single two-hour class in which the sorceress offered 12 protection scenario solutions, two in each of six categories. So I'm guessing you ad-libbed the class and then transcribed it and put it in a book form? That's how Del Close used to do sorcery yeah that makes sense protection to the sorceress is not only a gun in hand or locked door issue these are not phrases well just it is to you plebeians who aren't sorceresses um it is an opportunity to use your skill set in the most efficient manner. Protection, although defensive in action, is not only a defense. Protection can be a plan, a strategy, proactive and preemptive operations, or even a punishment. It's a defense.

Well, that'd be less words. Well, that'd be less words. Protection is a daily business of sorcery, and anything with a hard edge or intrusive energy may require subjugation. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. From the external enemies. Wow. Triple ellipsis space, triple ellipsis space.

What else? External enemies, what other enemies do I have? Well, external enemies, hostile spouse, violent neighbor, crazy landlady, abusive coworker or family member. Man with a summons in his hand. Landlord looking for the rent. Student you didn't pay up I'm just here for

office hours I want to get the extra credit you're about to see some protection to the government agency or legal matter that hovers these are all addressed as well as use your sorcery to bring down the government!

The legal matter that hovers. Yeah. As well as more complex enemies. The ones inside of our own minds. Oh dear. Addiction. The evil Rubik's Cube. Addiction.

Habitual behavior. DNA. Tainted. Yeah. Finally. Finally. I have been hampered by all this fucking DNA. Get the fuck out of here.

I'm trying to pick it out. What do you think you're doing? Get out of here. Get out of here. Deoxyribonucleic bullshit, if you ask me. Get out of here! The oxyribonucleic bullshit, if you ask me. Ha ha ha ha! Tainted legacies, self-doubt.

What? These are all enemies to handle. With veracity. The Sorceress Cagliostro. Author, publisher, teacher, designer. Yeah, I've noticed. Gathly, Galabout Town. Hey, is this Mo Rocca?

Eris. Creator of the science of sorcery. The foremost authority on blood sorcery and necromancy in the hands of nine, the creator of the firm, an elite hidden group... An elite hidden group of sorcerers working together to produce broad-stroke results.

That's her pen name. Why do you think she knows about legal matters that hover? For publishing info on North Sea Tales, visit www.northseatales.com to learn more or study with a sorceress. Visit cagliastrotheironring.com

Hi there, my name's Darren Allen. I bought this book. Oh, you're a perfumer, I think. Uh, am I? I think you are the perfumer that used to be a student of the Cagliastro. Anyway. Okay. This made me rethink what protection is. This book is unlike any other

in terms of not only utilizing physics and the science of sorcery for protection, but it is also in the very sense of what protection is. I was honored. The last time I utilized physics to protect myself, I was thrown in jail overnight. Don't fuck with physics, son. I played that Fall Downstairs game

and I tried it on a guy. I was honored to be one of the few students that took this live class with the sorceress Cagliastro. Really, I couldn't. There was so much information presented in that class that, to be honest, I considered not purchasing this book, because I thought it would be a mere transcript of the class,

which it says it is. Boy, was I wrong. And so was the product description, apparently. Deep into my button eyes and see that I am telling the truth the sorceress went above and beyond with this book explaining protection sorcery

and giving real life examples with structures to follow she not only explained everything taught in the class but also took the whole concept of protection to the next level. You do not need to be familiar with her other writings in order to utilize the information in this book. But you should follow her on Instagram, because her feed is fire! This book is clearly and succinctly written.

I think her feed is mostly magnets, actually. It includes anecdotal examples, as well as diagrams, illustrations, and photographs of the actual sorcery being done. This is not a philosophical book on magic, but a down-and-dirty field manual for protection sorcery, when you need it the most. Oh, cool, I'll keep that in my bug-out bag. Honey, honey, they're back! Okay, I gotta flip to page 14.

Don't worry. Don't worry. It's just a bear. There's a page on this. It also looks like... I think this might be fiction? I'm not sure. A game protection class oh yeah uh shell game there's a book here that's called uh call it mandolino mandolino began to cry oh yeah mandolino call it mandolino began to cry i don't care like i don't i don't care that she began to cry Excuse me but you soon will

Colette Mandolino began to cry a novel with hidden sorcery lessons Colette Mandolino is a girl So it's like a Vonnegut kind of thing. Like they're just sort of like sketched in the margins. Right in the center, there's a magic eye. And then like that makes a description of how to do a spell pop out.

It's like an encyclopedia brown book that has recipes inside it. Colette Mandalino is a girl of profound opportunity and very little requirement to contribute. Following? She is devoid of outward emotion and profoundly driven by her desire

for beauty and perfection. One day she encounters the incident, which causes her to begin to cry for the first time in her life. And although her tears evolve, she continues to cry for more than 20 years. we follow the story of colette through her world as she is manipulated by sorcery necromancy and other aspects of the side of sorcery that involves working with the disincarnate the dead okay you're like two paragraphs into you would be two paragraphs into your summary if you knew how a paragraph worked and you haven't yet described a narrative of any kind well I mean

you did tell me that Cullet Mandolino began to cry but I got that information before Easter I think the more interesting thing is the preceding to cry you knew she began to cry but did you know she cried for 20 years you didn't until you read my synopsis it makes more sense when you realize it's a sequel to aronofsky's mother oh well i don't know

maybe not this book provides an unusual opportunity as there are 19 sigils included now that's not 26 or 23 it's 19 however many it's impossible to count sigils for the low price of whatever this book costs this book as well as this series going forward is a hidden sorcery manual that takes the reader through what feels like brilliant fiction and yet provides layer upon layer of sorcery, most importantly in the area of necromancy.

Oh, I get it. When the magic cops come and do a raid, they go through all your books, they take away the obvious magic manuals, but they leave behind Colette Mandolina. That's pretty good. It's like how they used to hide sigils on dreidels.

Actually, you know, before you go on there, Shogun, if you want to see the cover there, the really good looking cover, Sorceress Cag you wanna, like, so, so you see the cover there? Uh, the really good-looking cover? Sorceress Cagliasto began to cry? Uh, yes? If you scroll, if you scroll down from there, you can see the back cover.

Uh, would you do me a huge favor and read the back cover of this book? Oh, very well. Colette Mandolino began to cry. I'm aware. A hidden sorcery novel. A first in a series of many. I'm aware. A hidden sorcery novel. A first in a series of many. And that is an ellipsis with underscores. You see, Colette Mandolino tends to gravitate towards profound and delicious selfishness at the acquisition of ageless

beauty. And she will have many future tales to tell. Oh, yes! And complete with many of Carlette's sigils.

Oh, sorry, Carlette's sigils. I mean sorry. Sigils. I mean, who can know? Who can know what this character is called? So I was taking a look at the book on the Amazon store. It's listed as having 352 pages with extremely, extremely aggressive margins. Yes, that's for notes and revelations.

That's about 30 words per page. Yeah. And the sample, I don't know what page number this is. It doesn't say. There's no room. So I'm just going to read this paragraph that is from this book somewhere as a pre-crying colette watched the fray settle she noticed that there was a petite red and green

beetle lifting and stretching its very self to the tepid sky and enjoying an early pale sunning on the generous balcony rail uh-huh oh, the balcony rail has huge tits. This is a sedation, right? I'm feeling sedated. The small red and green beetle spread its wings now and then, as if coaxing the noncommittal sun to push forward and warm its inner bits. Perhaps our Colette, forming the first and most likely the only selfless thought of the day, pondered

on the insect's movements and decided that must be how beetles yawn away their frustrations. She forced time to pass by a self-indulgent reflection of her own needs, filtered through a lens of anthropomorphic reflection upon the coleoptric

visitor. She saw herself in the beetle. Fuck. I can see what Darren Allen likes about this writer. I can see you seeing yourself in this beetle. What do

I gotta say to get you to give me $900 right now? Six ratings and they're all five stars. Wow. I don't know. I feel like the fiction's a little trite. They're all breezy summer reads

though, right? The page count's kind of big, but you would just burn through these books. I don't feel like it doesn't feel like anything to read, it feels like, it doesn't feel like anything to read, but afterwards I've learned so much.

You might need a thesaurus, because she definitely used one. Isn't that what this is? Ironicus, let's get more into the nitty-gritty sorcery stuff. Tell me about menstrual blood and semen. A sorcery manual.

A sorcery manual. Menstrual blood, venal blood, semen. These materials were gathered from a transcript of a class presented by me, the sorceress Cagliastro.

What were the hey who came on your transcript yeah it is presented here now in this offering expanded with additional

materials wink and commentary it is a transcript and flows additional materials. Wink. And commentary. Ugh. It is a transcript and flows as such. Once again, wink. Let this class and the transcription here that arose from the opportunity to teach this

material be the beginning of the powerful reminder that our biologicals belong to us Kevin not to our doctors the twisted human relationship with religion and dogma

not to our associates or spouses to us therefore we have a right and responsibility to utilize them to their greatest potential. Within these pages, I have

offered materials previously unpublished under penalty of law. What a surprise! Many have suggested that I should not publish these secrets. They begged me. My therapist, my mother, my roommates.

Kevin has lawyers. Who would have guessed? I feel that it is vital to offer students and practitioners of sorcery the opportunity to have and therefore use and experiment with all available knowledge. Except for if it's about the boxes. Don't ask me about the

motherfucking boxes. One more time, I'll put you in the box and then you'll know all about the box. I mean, hey, if you didn't want me asking, you should have cast a defensive proactive spell against me. You don't even know how many sigils there are. Sure. How many are there now?

No one knows how many sigils there are. 20-something sigils. If I do not share the information, then what is the purpose of exploring and experimenting? then what is the purpose of exploring and experimenting this is the science of sorcery triggers and responses biologicals and focused intentions magnetics

and the expansion of potential good it would be remiss of me to keep it all to myself I couldn't possibly the sorceress cagliostro blood sorceress necromancer, in the hands of Nigh.

Which is how I sign all my checks. They're very large checks. Very small handwriting. With every word, I return to making eye contact with the cashier, then I go back and write the next one. return to making eye contact with the cashier that I go back and write the

next one. Yeah, those books all sound great. They sound wonderful, but it's time to move on. It's time to move on to the haunted doll section. Yay! Sorceress Cagliastro provides a general note that

demon, attending demon, disincarnate dolls are a series of dolls that are all one of a kind and are made from vintage porcelain dolls or doll parts. Some assembly of your ghost required. They are also embraced in ritual for at least six months and spend time with Tanis, the well-known demon-holding doll of the sorceress Cagliastro. Wow. Each one comes with a certificate of authenticity. From who? From me. Okay.

This is a doll! Is there a chance the sorceress Cagliastro is a horse who is only nine hands high? A very small horse. That puts her writing into a better light, honestly. Look at all those keys you typed. Are you getting drunk?

They all come with a half-hour private session with with the sorceress to discuss the best path forward sorry the best path toward success with that individual doll these are not toys okay do i the buyer get the half hour or does the doll get no no no life coaching from the source you you put the the doll in the go-to meeting and you better leave the room can i give it to a child if i don't intend it to be a toy like a plastic bag yeah so lemon yeah exactly uh lemon tell us about uh a84 84. Oh, yeah, sure, you bet. A84 is one of my favorite dolls. A84 is

heartless! Would you like to buy A84, the heartless doll? I would love to. Too bad, it's sold! Fuck you. $300, $300, but this is sold. Specifically, I mean,

I mean, yeah, yep, there sure is. Oh, it says this store is not yet accepting payments. That's probably what you meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can buy, let's see, $999, buy now. Oh, okay. Anyway, so it's useful for working dark works with magnets works with magnets, etc., as well as demon work. Uh, it comes with a half-hour session with the online with sword grip, obviously, we should imagine.

Um, SOLD! A84 is a porcelain lacquered and fabric doll with a CARDIAC HOLE! Made from layers of iron fillings. Jesus. Jesus! No! Today we're gonna learn about blood work for your cardiac hole. Do you remember there was a period where, like, they made those twisted metal games all, like, spooky?

Anyway. The porcelain has been treated with white and black lacquer. Her dress and hat are handmade felt and cotton extensively tailored with a full skirt and jacket that closes over the cardiac hole. She is approximately 10 inches long. She has white dreadlocks. I didn't bother to mention that for some

reason. A84 is one of a kind. She has been through the ritual to open one's self for possession. She is to be kept with the new owner to attract attending demons. Demon slash attending, demon slash sorcery dolls are a series of dolls that are all one of a kind. They are made from vintage porcelain.

Huh. Huh. What? Huh. Well, I'm looking at this picture picture and it's not a very good picture it's not a very high res well I mean she was fine but it was haunted it haunted the camera

yeah so so it's made from vintage porcelain the photo does not evidence this fact but anyway they are embraced in ritual for at least six months, and they spend time with Tannis, the well-known demon-holding doll. That's the text I already read before.

That's on all of them. Hi, Tannis! Hi, Tannis. Wow, that's a good doll. Great doll. Thanks. Heelys? Yeah. Can you tell us about A47 the predecessor to A84

yeah sold A47 iron eyes demon demon slash having slash protection a having oh

I'm a demon and a having yeah protection. Ooh, a halving. Oh. I'm a demon and a halving. Attending demon dolls. There's just a picture of her feet. Sorry. Yeah, you gotta get that in there. She's got her own wiki feed, I'm sure. Attending demon dolls. Iron eyes, white, lacquer, demon, ready, doll. Come with

a half hour session with the sorceress. Sold. A47 is one of a kind. She has iron eyes. She has iron eyes. Oh, I was imagining ACDC. Oh, that's better. Oh, my mind went to a worse place.

She has iron eyes. See, my parents made me listen to the Eagles in the car when I was growing up. That is child abuse. Same. Yeah. Her palms hold iron and her shoes are coated in iron. She's got a theme, damn it. shoes are coated in iron she's got a thing damn it she has been honed to

allow for having and will warn against upcoming hostility by dreams and the presence of protective demons this is my haunted doll she believes in property rights Kathy took your yogurt we don't call the cops and it's just a picture of the cops what I like about these website descriptions

is that there's the title which is a shitload of text and then there's a subheading which is even more text and then a description which is slightly less text that seems to be what she's best at. Please provide the description. Yeah, yeah.

She's also be kept the new owner to assist in attracting attending demons. A47 is a porcelain doll. Heads, arms, and legs. Oh, she's got all of them? Excuse me. She is not just the sum of her parts. She is a full woman. It's true.

The porcelain's been treated with white lacquer. She has her dress constructed of vintage materials, which have been reformatted to fit her by extensive tailoring. I'm sorry, I just... What if you fucked up the haunting? This took me a minute. So, it's real porcelain. It's real vintage porcelain. Yeah.ain. It's real vintage porcelain.

And because it's real vintage porcelain, you covered it with white lacquer? Yeah. Interesting. That keeps the porcelain safe. Yeah, protecting the porcelain with the lacquer. I saw it on Antiques Roadshow. I do not remember how that segment ended.

Her skirt is made from gold hand woven raw silk that is well preserved fabric, which is nearly 90 years old. She's approximately seven inches long. Standout included. Demon and

Demon Dolls are a series of dolls. Yeah, I don't know. I just want to tell you about that. Yeah, and if you caught it in time, you could have bought it for $100. Well, hold on, hold on. Each one comes with a history scroll. These are not toys, folks.

These are not toys. Like American Girl dolls? The history scroll says, Made in China, 1987. I gotta tell you about M22. Iron She. Iron She.

Still for sale, apparently. $200. Just looking at it makes me wonder why it has this stuff. Norwegian girl metal band, I think? Iron She? Yeah, Iron She for pushing away aging, gender non-specific, for use by all practitioners. Okay. Iron She is a doll meant to draw youth and to push away physical aging, and she is meant to stay amongst the belongings of the user.

Approximately three inches. She's a baby! Okay, okay. Gender non-specific for use by all practitioners. She is also available in combination with M11 iron. See separate listing if fertility is the issue. She comes with a half-hour session with the sorceress. So if I'm an old lady who wants to get pregnant,

I get both of them? We were having so much trouble conceiving until I bought a haunted doll off eBay. And then suddenly I was a parent to a haunted doll! Lemon says that it looks like a gross carpet. I think it looks like a reassembled petrified dog poop. No, no, we're talking about the thing it's on top of.

It looks like she took a picture on top of a dog. Oh, I see. I got you. Yeah, it looks like reassembled petrified dog poop on top of a dog. I want to talk for just a second here about something else available on Cagliastro the Iron Ring. Cagli something else available on Cagliastro

the Iron Ring. Cagliastro, Mistress Cagliastro has a bunch of sites, all proudly powered by Weebly. Sometimes she doesn't pay the domain fees, and they go away. But sometimes she remembers. So we've been talking a little bit about sigils, right?

Sigils are cool. They're great. Somehow they're a physical thing they're also in books i guess um so she has an entire section uh where you can buy uh 3d sigils yeah um they are uh forty dollars yeah um but but they are made of plastic and 3D printed on demand. Yes. That they are. Oh, man. Some of them are like... Look at that bright orange one.

Some of them are made out of like a metallic color plastic. Those ones are like $75. Oh, okay. Yeah, that it would be worth it. I get the prices in Canadian. So, Lemon, I'm learning something about the different numbers of sigils. See, there's 23 sigils of selfish indulgence

but then there's 25 sigils dark circles all of the 25 sigils will eventually be up and available makes a lot of sense butt plug charms

so if you want a tiny circle of 3d printed plastic you can pay like 40 bucks canadian for it so i mean you know you could you could actually get it uh gold plated that'll only cost you about four thousand oh these are interesting prices but does the golds like transmit the magic signal better. Also, I don't think you can do 3D printed with gold plating. That doesn't make any sense at all. Right, exactly. 29.38

63.70 322.66 She 3D prints it and then puts some gold leaf on it and that's worth $4,000. Sells it right out of Trump Plaza. I mean, they put it on the space shuttle. It's good enough for your magic.

Vi destroy planets of others is $3,808. Hey, Lemon, we're not done with the dolls yet. Oh, great. That's wonderful news. I love knowing that. This one's still available for sale. Lemon.

I want you to talk about A10 MSL. Tell you about A10. Sorry, it's A104, please. Oh, sorry, you're right. A104 MSL. Yeah, so A104 MSL. That one's got a sleepy eye. Like, one eye's

red and one eye's tired. This is always winking at you. Yeah. This doll thinks you're cute. Finger guns from this doll. A104

MSL. The necromancy doll. This resided for a period of time in a specific mausoleum. Brother, this doll resided in a specific mausoleum. I can't speak out loud which one it is. Then it was sealed inside with iron oxide. You should please read the... Yeah, that's another word.

I don't know why you try to use less words. It sounds so common coming out of your mouth. Okay. Okay. So this... Okay, the things that I said before I'm going to repeat a couple of those. Anyway, to order one of these

dolls, do not use the buy button. No. Why not? Just use my email address. I'm going to buy with the buy button. No, don't do that. I'm going to buy two. No, please stop. that. I'm gonna buy two. Here's my- No, please stop. Please.

I'm gonna buy 40. Oh god, this is going to go hell with my retargeting efforts. I'm gonna be giving you banner ads for these dolls for years. Just go to like visit one of your loved ones resting in a specific

mausoleum and there's a crate full of these winking dolls. No, you go to the specific mausoleum to visit your relatives and you're like, who the fuck broke open my... Where's the doll? I stored the dolls in this series in a mausoleum

for nearly a year. I was kind of hoping we wouldn't get to know what the period of time was. in this series in a mausoleum for nearly a year. Ooh! I was kind of hoping we wouldn't get to know what the period of time was. That's real then! Then, after the year, I revived them! And I finished the work on them, and I filled their skulls

with grave dirt from three graves! skulls with grave dirt from three graves! These stones are metal as hell, actually. Oh, yes. This is the most goth doll.

Yes. Grave dirt. Sure. I have discovered that iron oxide promotes animation and other quote unquote behaviors in these dolls. I think that's actually corrosion, not animation. They're moving. They're changing on me.

You're right. You're right. It's all in those original documents from Disney. There's like squish. There's bounce, there's atrophy. You know all of those scenes where they make Donald Duck decompose over an episode? Yeah, I love that creepypasta. Yes. Okay, so this encourages them to... Fuck. fuck okay i use the word disincarnate again anyway

the image on the mausoleum was of a person with an eye patch therefore this doll has one blank or blind eye and is highly sensitized to seek out the disincarnate that are more difficult to encourage into discussion. I... You were in with... It was in the mausoleum with the one-eyed person for a year,

so that means that the doll has one eye. Shell game. As ZZ Top once said, every girl crazy for a one-eyed man. You know, you're right. You did say that. The body of this doll is dense

and coated in black lacquer. In black lacquer. So it's coated in black lacquer, which has the sensation of the heaviness of a dead human being. You know how dead people are shiny? You know how dead people look like a patio? I mean, until the mortician gets to them and fucks them all up with makeup. A dead human being corpse weight sensation. This is a heavy doll.

It has an enormous presence. Head and limbs are porcelain. Wait, wait. Porcelain means something in my own universe. The doll is approximately 1,565 What?

That's an enormous presence. Do that conversion for me. Somebody please. This doll. I'm not saying it's exactly. I don't know exactly. The doll doesn't like to be measured. It's 130 feet tall.

I just know that the doll is around 1,565 inches. That's why you have to email directly just to that the doll is around 1,565 inches. That's why you have to email directly just to arrange the shipping. It's 40 meters. It's 40 meters tall. The photos is much bigger than I thought, I guess. How many ghosts can fit in this fucking thing?

Imagine how much grave dirt this required. So it wasn't like a little bit from three graves. It was three whole graves. I have three other corpses in our head. This one feels masculine to me. This one is finished

in a coating that contains iron oxide. This gives is finished in a coating that contains iron oxide. Yeah, I think you said that. This gives the doll the rich pigment and has left the light skin lightly coarse like fine grain sandpaper. You know, lacquer and porcelain. the heart location is opened on the garment and sealed to the body with

iron oxide I'm gonna stop calling it rust now all of the knots on the entire doll are also sealed with iron oxide the knots? the legs and feet are wrapped for walking amongst the dead.

Oh. Why would you seal anything with rust? I mean, it looks like she's, like, taken rust and mixed it with dirt and shoved it in there. I can't really tell. Yeah, no, this doll looks like it's taken a very bad gunshot wound. She is built to create, encourage, and permanently allow an open portal to the disincarnate through a connection to ancestry.

This is useful as it allows for a controlled and familiar communication, which therefore leads to communication with other non-related disincarnates. They'll just crash your party. The ghosts play six degrees of Kevin Bacon in your doll. You're hanging out in your football field with your 40-yard doll. yard doll. This is the best type of doll to open up communication with the disincarnate. It's a conversation starter.

It's a conversation starter. That is the best type sent for my iPhone. That's all still for sale. For a low price of $247. Man, I mean, how many what's the price per inch on that i mean yeah that's a deal a very good deal for such a large doll yeah uh i got one last one to

give you and this is uh a12 the gatekeeper is sold uh sold for 170 it says uh the gatekeeper is tasked with monitoring and with instruction managing the flow of demons within your home she's coated in black lacquer and attached to a yak bone base which is completely covered in iron the iron filings climb up her dress to keep the magnetic connection. Oh, she's, uh, willy-willy. Yep. The yak bone was buried in a grave for ten months and recently unburied for this piece. Inside of the yak bone is soil from the Hakamak Swamp, where the boy comes from. Huh?

Oh, no, the boy. The boy. Huh? I found a picture of the boy, but I couldn't find a link about it. Yeah, fucking... The boy on Amazon Prime. Yeah, I'm familiar with the gatekeeper and the boy. The gatekeeper is here to give the boy a

hey, hey, hey. What's wrong with the boy? The soil is permanently installed inside the bone cavity and covered with a felt base. She comes with a half-hour session with the sorceress Cagliostro. She also comes with a bone cavity. Bone cavity. Bone cavity. I mean, okay.

What do we think we learned today? Oh, so much. But I can't say what it was, because... Because you are the conduit. You are the conduit for what you learned from this episode. The sole conduit. And if anyone else spreads the information that you learned, you will cast a spell on them. You know, Boots, I didn't learn anything, but if you give me $900, I might learn

some things. I like that. Will these things be 3D printed? I hope so. Put some iron oxide on them. I, uh... You know, I, like, I don't know how much of, just sort of like

writing that you've all done, like sort of like writing that other people read. You know, it's not exactly that it's hard. It's not really hard to write, like physically. But it's sort of difficult to kind of like craft something that like, you know, does this represent me? Like, does this represent my ideas? Does this represent my thoughts?

And I feel like that's what's difficult about writing is that like, you know, you want to make sure that you're sort of like presenting something that you're proud of and so she doesn't like she's written so many books and

probably hasn't read one right? Like has never read a book you mean Like, has never read a book, you mean? Right, has never read a book. I don't think she's read her own books. Well, she's read lots of grimoires and tomes, but probably not read any books. I mean, I guess I did learn that she's in New York, so I don't have to worry about running into her. I mean, I guess I did learn that she's in New York, so I don't have to worry about running into her.

There is so little of Sorceress Cagliastro herself. Like, she's just always on the grind, always plugging. I don't think, like, the little personal touches don't seem to seep through like a lot of these people. I don't know how she votes. No, it's definitely true yeah like like there's a there's an original uh sort of photo of her right where she's like she's like uh wearing a bunch of like leather shit and she's got a pendant and a top hat and she's vaping and that's the first photo that we saw in this document. Right? And then, now that we're at the end of this document, I still know exactly as much about her. She looks like she's friends with Amanda Palmer.

She's incredibly professional in that way, I guess. Yeah. She's definitely a grifter. Yeah. She's definitely a grifter. Yeah. And that's it's impressive that there's that much

space. That there's that much space for that sort of different because I don't think that they have huge customer bases, but there's a bunch of people that are kind of running that same grift. Yeah. Simultaneously. And I don't know how you choose

one over the other like what like why her instead of like S Rob it's the same shit right this one has a personal perfumer and an iron ring and boxes what are the boxes I gotta know what the boxes are

she's not gonna write it down is that what there's nine of? Are there nine boxes? Maybe nine rings? I'm not sure. I mean, according to the photos you posted earlier in the Discord, Achilles, I think the box is like a Gumby doll that you

stuck an envelope into? That's the boy. Oh, okay. I'm so sorry. And if you want to speculate on whatever the fuck the boxes are, the rings are, and whatever and the magnets, come to Ball Pet. How would I... Okay, that does answer a question. I used magic to predict

what you were going to ask me. How much menstrual blood did that take? All of my menstrual blood. It's all in your bone cavity. If I just want to see, like, let's say I wanted to go to a webpage, and basically I was like, I don't want to. Like, I want to go to a webpage, and I just want to see a bunch of links to, like, shit.

Like, a bunch of different websites that are, like, you know, good enough for a minute. Where would I go for that kind of thing? Site.com. Okay, thank you very much. I have no idea. It was like Lycos, but then Lycos became AOL, and now AOL doesn't exist anymore. Bye!

This conversation's kinda dot fun. Nice! I was actually going to go for Ahoy Limit. Oh, okay. Well, I don't know. Must be the season of the witch Must be the season of the witch Must be the season of the witch

Hmm, yeah So she has like a website that she goes to that's like present me a random verb and then writes a sentence around it. He unbolted the door, looked into the dark world beyond and listened. He closed the door again and returned. Great. Good. Good. Good. He closed the door again and returned. Great. Good. Good.

Good. He opened the door. He closed the door. He got on the floor. He drank the dinosaur. Alright, I'm gonna stop now. Alright then, let's do that.