The F Plus - 368: Not Even Once-ler

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

In 2012, Dr. Seuss' widow and the Despicable Me company released a movie called The Lorax. It is entirely valueless, but that's not the point. The point is that the movie had a skinny boy who sang and Tumblr has horny girls on it and so the inevitable happened: The Once-ler Fandom. It mostly involves a character with no traits whatsoever making out with clones of himself. But also, there's a weird part? This week, The F Plus trades our panties for a half a peck of sanity.

I'm over Wunzler and the Warden from Superdome. Now we're doing Wunzler and Bill Cipher if he were a human. Alright, alright, alright. We're making a podcast still. Here we go. That's fine. You're making a podcast. I'm making a collection.

How bad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally. How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny. How bad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally. How bad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally. How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be?

Welcome to the internet. Our part of the internet, which is terrible things read with enthusiasm. And in the room tonight we've got Booth Rangier. I'm mainly worried because the moss has overtaken most of the trees in there. It seems to have spread to the naturally grown trefoils in the valley as well I'm going to have to Foreteks Foreteks learn

It's a once learner that fucking hates this shit Yes, my hon People say we could write another movie. I laugh at that. We could more likely write a television series that could last for 20 plus seasons already. Ooh, it's shell game.

The shell slur is a onesler who underwent carcinization, so her suit is hidden under a bright red chitinous shell. She used to chop down truffula trees with her claws, but felt bad about it, so she stopped. And Zarla. Ask the Darkler.

Kind of cursed. Change of his heart and his business days turned him into a monster. Now he is deeply regretting his mistakes and wants to revive the valley. And Lemon. Onceler and Dunceler.

Pretty good. You took my days behind complain all you want it's never ever ever ever gonna stop come on how bad can it

possibly be how bad hey Fluss hi hi Lemon hello hey do you all like

liking things I'm a big fan of liking I don't like things I love things liking things? I'm a big fan of liking. I don't like things. I love things. That's nice. What are your feelings on the author

and illustrator and American icon, Dr. Seuss? He wrote some very important things for kids to understand. That a lot things for kids to understand. That a lot of adults don't understand. He promised me I would go places, damn it.

Seems like we're pretty fan of him. He told me I'd hop on pop. And how did that work out for you? Pretty good, actually. Okay, so you guys fans of the environment?

Uh-huh. It's harder and harder to be one every day, but yes. You gotta love things while you have them. Great, that's fantastic. So this episode is kind of about the 2012 movie The Lorax.

Uh-oh. I knew it. I knew it. Except it's not, because it's actually an episode about the fandom of the Onceler. I knew it. The legend is true. So I hate it.

This is an entire episode of Onceler fandom. I bet it is. This is an entire episode of Once-ler fandom. I bet it is. I never saw the movie, and I know the book really well. The Once-ler was just a pair of arms. No, he's not in the movie.

He's a nerdy boy who didn't mean to tear down the whole forest. He was tricked into it. He just meant well. The book down the whole forest. He was tricked into it. He just meant well. Yeah, so the book Boots, you might want to say, would have some sort of opinion, right? In the movie,

the Onceler is kind of like a hip, skinny boy who's kind of misunderstood. Do people on the internet like that archetype? The representation of industry? Yeah. Yes.

But cute. He has a song and he plays the guitar. So this is an episode about the Wunzler fandom. This is people. This is people. And I can't put too fine a point on this. This is people who watched the 2012 movie, The Lorax, you know, the one that advertised cars, and went, this is really good, I like this movie a lot,

but the best part about this is the skinny, like, industrialist guy, big fan of him, and let's start an entire fandom about this. So I'm going to show you this document now. I'm going to share this document with all of you. Thanks. And Boots... Can I die? Boots, I have a question for you. Boots, my

question, real simple, I want to say. What the fuck is the Onceler fandom? Okay. Is this... Okay, that's just the title of this page? That is what they called it. Yep, that's just the title of this page. That is what they called it, yep. That's what they went for.

Great. It's got its entire... It's got a whole wiki. There's a whole wiki for this fandom. Awesome. Abandon hope, ye who enter here. This fandom is a community of people who reside mostly on Tumblr and DeviantArt

based upon the book The Lorax by Seuss Giesel. The 1972... It's not... Seuss Giesel. And it's not based upon the book version. That was his name in MI6. Listen, I have a comma in here.

It's based upon the book, comma, the 1972 television special and the 2012 feature film by Illumination. Mostly that one. In the time our fandom has been around, it has been transformed into a mostly Asked Blog-based fandom. Dubbed by some a fandom of a fandom,

meaning that we do not only thrive off the movie itself, but the AUs and the Ask blogs made for it. Thrive, you say? I have a follow-up question, Boots. Seriously, what the fuck is this? Okay, the history of the Lorax... Stop bullshitting us. In August 1971, Dr. Seuss' The Lorax

was published as a children's book. The story was about an unnamed boy visiting the Onceler and asking about why there were no longer any trees. The Onceler was shown as just a pair of green gloves, tells his backstory about how he came upon a huge forest of trees, and then used them to create his invention, the Thneed. The Lorax came to him, telling him to stop cutting down the trees, but he didn't listen. Then he finally chopped all of them down, could no longer make his Thneed. The Lorax came to him, telling him to stop cutting down the trees, but he didn't listen. Then he finally chopped all of them down, could no longer make his Thneed, and basically destroyed an entire ecosystem. And I think Wonder Bread is involved somewhere in there. Oh, that's...

Oh, God. Anyway, look at all the fandoms! Yay! There's Oncest and the Greedler and the Asplod and the Power Flicks. Wait, what? I'm the Oncest of them all! Yeah? There's one cest and the greedler and the ass-blog conflicts. Wait, what? I'm the one-cest of them all. Is that one-cest as in the most once or one-cest?

One-cest. It's got to be one-cest. There's no way it's not. One-cest. Ass-blog conflicts in fandoms. Every fandom is made of a bunch of fans That really love one thing And sometimes receive criticism From those outside the fandom

Sometimes, occasionally The one story that started all this Was an animated character played by Ed Helms From the 2012 movie The Lorax It's all his fault Thanks Ed Yes, Ed Helms from the 2012 movie The Lorax. It's all his fault! Thanks, Ed. Yes, Ed Helms designed the character and animated it himself. They were all his blogs!

Ed Helms astroturfed the Onceler. I would actually love that. After the 2012 release, in which the Onceler character was suddenly personified and obtained a face and a backstory, something a bit out of the norm happened. A large sporadic fan base grew up overnight from Tumblr and invaded both DeviantArt and YouTube with thousands. That's real unusual. Something strange happened. Weird nerd girls wanted to fuck a cartoon man.

It was the day of the snake. No, no. Not wanted to fuck a cartoon man. It was the damn mistake. No, no. Not real man. Cartoon man. And top hat. And formal wear. Yeah. And skinny and shy.

It's weird. He was a weird, shy nerd who's kind of awkward. And he has mental problems. He sings. Thousands of articles, blogs, cosplay, gifs, gifts fanfic and fan videos related to the character can you tell me about the oneslings

sure the fan base is largely female in their late teens and mid 20s but not their early 20s in general way out of the target audience for the movie at least they acknowledge that. Yeah.

They're not doing that. This movie was made for us. The fandom seems too largely aware of this fact and typically describe their experience of joining the fandom as weird, uncontrollable, and a result of temporary insanity. After watching the Lorax movie. Oh my God. Is this like a kid's cereal commercial?

I gotta jerk off to cartoons! Wow! It's holding the Thor expert. Therefore, a considerable amount of spoof art is made within the fandom, poking fun at themselves, which has made the community lighthearted and open-minded.

We love this weird corporatist propaganda, but we got a sense of humor about it. Don't worry. We're all friends inside this fandom. Often praised by outside fandoms as being blissfully joyful and fun to watch. Easily comparable to early My Little Pony

Friendship is Magic crowd. Another famously drama-free fandom. That's cool, Boots. I love this. It really seems welcoming when you talk about this community and it's not fractured at all. Tell me about the Once Luts. I'm sure you're just pronouncing it

funny because it's once Lutz. And surely Lutz. Let's find out. A darker side of the fandom exists, just as with other fandoms, which focus slowly on sexual imagery, fanfics, and role play, and slashing characters from the movie. How many characters are in the movie? I don't want to know. I'll read the next sentence. How many characters are in the movie?

I don't want to know. Read the next sentence. The main attraction in this character is a theme called One-Cest, in which the nice Onceler is paired up with an evil version of himself. The answer to your question is one. There is one character. There is one character in the movie. That's not going to stop anybody. If I may, because I did actually read

something about this from Sexypedia, there are other characters, but one of them is the Lorax himself, so no. The other one is another adult male,

but he's not conventionally attractive, and the last one's a child. Yeah, but he's not conventionally attractive. No. And the last one's a child. Yeah. Yeah, so there's no... One test! One of them is the evil industrialist. And one of them is a kid. And as we all know,

the Lorax does not fuck. In my universe, the Lorax does not fuck. I'm sorry, keep going. Please, there's a very important typo I'm about to read here. Several blogs are dedicated solely to Wensler smut and sexual imagery, often taken to ridicules levels, including pancake batter, marshmallows, and thneed bonding.

Oh, yeah. It's up to a medic's level. Oh, that's really good. Dicks are dicks, and dicks must grow. We should point out this document was provided to us by Dr. Interrogative. Well, fuck you, then, Dr. Interocitor. No, thank you, Dr. Interocitor.

I mean, thank you. Sorry, I meant thank you. I got this. Dr. Interogative sent me this in the mail, and within four seconds, I had emailed Portex asking when she was available next because she was going to be in this episode. And Portex responded,

fine, but if I'm in, Zarla has to be in too. And she can't know what the episode is about. Yeah, she's not allowed to know beforehand. You got me. You saw this shit unfold in real time. You got me. You got me. We saw this shit unfold in real time. She has to be here with us.

I did see this happen. Bless you for agreeing to this song. Alright, let's see. So we got some more pages here about the... Actually, you know what? Esfand, can you tell me about OneCest, please? I can tell you all about Oncest.

All about Oncest. The experts. So Oncest is the fandom given name to the relationship between two Oncelers. Although the term can be altered when referring to a certain combination of Oncelers involved, it is one of the most popular ships in the Onceler fandom. A Onceler. If you can believe it. If you will.

I thought it was just a dark underbelly.'s what you said earlier that's no no it's all it's all dark underbelly yeah find the light underbelly once twice three times and once there the pairing emerged from the prospect of a universe where the once ler before he became big and rich from selling the needs meets his future green-suited greedy self, and greedy's in quotes, also dubbed as Greedler by the fandom. This pairing is referred to as Classic One-Cest.

Before the world went to shit! They tried new One-Cest, nobody liked it, so they went back to Classic. Vanilla One-Cest. Due to many alterations. Visionary One-Cest. I remember when it was about the One-Cest. Thisest. Due to the many alterations. Visionary one-sest. I remember when it was about the one-sest. This is classic due to the many alterations that the term one-sest has suffered.

You weren't there at the beginning, one-sest. Ladies, please. This is an unbiased example. There's enough bees to go around. The relationship does not necessarily need to be sexual to fit the term. Granted, it is a recurring case in fanfiction and artwork. One-cest can

refer to a platonic relationship between two ones. Noah can't. But if you want somebody to actually read your fanfic, you know what you gotta do. You wanna touch fingers. There are many types of onesest involving fandom created. Ask

blogs, and the name has evolved over time to depending on the people involved. Yes, to depending on the people involved. Sorry. I started getting things about that onesest. I lost all ability at a time there. Usually the adaptation is a fusion of the names from

the oneslers participating in the relationship so you got your i mean just as an example you got your ask swag once slurs oh yeah and they're shipped with the one lure uh there's there's swan cest uh bitter once slurs uh slashed with young entrepreneur bit tray uh this ship is far from canon, which the fandom is aware, so you don't need to point it out to them right now. To them in the movie, so yes. I am pretty sure I need them to know that the movie did not have Tumblr Ask Blogs. Show game? Show game put that technically away.

The fandom is aware. put that technically away the fandom is aware in many cases the shippers of this pairing are called mentally unstable and or quote in need of psychiatric evaluation because of the mere strangeness of it to outsiders

while inside the fandom it is quite normal and may be even abnormal not to ship this in one way or another. What are you even doing here? Get out. It may be abnormal. It's actually not. Oh, okay. There also be classic onesest, which be the young...

There also be classic onesest, which be the young onesler who be wearing grey on top of and making out with his older self in green. While not as popular as it used to be, it is still well loved by the fandom. We must find the one true sphincter. Good lord. I wanna fuck industry. I want it to fuck itself actually

So you're assuming it's way too close to the movie At this point we are way way beyond that This is really good Okay so the Onceler fandom wiki Has 123 pages Alright We're not talking about stubs There's plenty of full on

Like long ass pages here. Vortex just found a picture of the Wunzler making out with the warden of Super Jail. Which is some real F plus singularity, but we can't talk about that right now. We can't talk about that right now. We can't talk about that because we have to get

to some OC original character Wunzlers. This is like every idea guy who ever approaches you for a project if you do art. I've got an idea for a thing. Has anyone made Star Wars yet?

Because I'm thinking we're going to make that. Man, it sounds like drawing sucks. You can give it up, Portex. I've tried. So, Portex, if you will scroll down to this really clever Onceler character. It's an original character. Okay, all right. The first word there is original.

No more weird nerdy fandom shit we're going to do for OCs. No, maybe, but we're getting original here. Right, right. Original. No more, yeah. So, what do you got there? This is the Loki-ler. Ah.

Now, Loki, of course, is not owned by anyone. It's not appeared in any popular media. The Loki-ler isn't. The Loki-ler. Loki-ler. This is from the 1972 original. That Loki. Loki-ler.

So this Onceler was normal until Loki came. This is from the 1972 original. That Loki. So, this Wunzler was normal until Loki came. He was post-Greedler. That's my artist. I describe my artist as that as well. I need a post-Greedler Tumblr

aesthetic for you. The god of mischief had escaped from Asgard and had to have somewhere to hide, so he chose a host, the Onceler. And it was easy as well. The Onceler's so easy.

Normally it's difficult for Loki to do silly Loki shit, but no. He promised the Onceler that his business will grow and never fail, and the Onceler that his business will grow and never fail And the Onceler took the deal Not knowing Loki's side of this little bargain Until it was too late

Loki took over the Onceler's body And though he acts different His hair grew out some Oh Ah Yes of course Nobody seems to Nobody seems to notice her care. What if the Onceler looked like Tom Hiddleston?

It would also seem that if Loki separates from Onceler for a long period of time, the businessman shows signs of heavy fatigue and looks weak. And at times looks like he's dying, but Loki always goes back to his host. Around the factory, the trees continue to grow quickly due to Loki's magic. Thereby, I guess, undoing the entire point of the fucking magical book.

The central tension of the story is resolved. Good job, everybody. Capitalism can go on unhindered. Story finished. All it takes is literal magic. It's not terribly different from how the movie ends, actually. But anyway, so Thneeds and trees will never run out, just like in the movie,

though the Lorax is against it, but is unable to say much to the god of mischief. Jesus. the Lorax is against it, but is unable to say much to the god of mischief. Sometimes I think that the Lorax is just against things for the sake of being against them. See, with all the environmentalists, how are you supposed to have time for sex with other Wonslers? See, this solves

the problem. There's so many other Wonslers, you have to schedule them carefully. Can't you save the planet and pound skinny boys? Get realistic here. So, okay, so, his personality. He talks a tad different from usual. His voice is like another's voice, but at times the host Onceler slips through or Loki lets it happen.

His Loki personality is calm, but at times can get angry. Loki lets it happen. His Loki personality is calm, but at times can get angry. While Onslaught's personality is nice and is cautious around others sometimes, just like corporations. This will shock you, but physical characteristics,

he is skinny and tall! Did you guys know that? How weird! Black hair and blue eyes that at times show green in the dark or in certain lights. Sometimes he is seen in his office of the factory in strange clothing and armor.

Would it happen to perhaps look like the Marvel character? I wonder. Oh, well. Again, no one that works there really asked. Good. We don't care. Leave us alone. You know, Disney's gonna sue us if you keep doing that shit.

Disney bought us, it's fine. Oh boy. Shellgame, what do you got there? Oh, well, I've got... I don't know why you would call him this, but the Creepler. The Creepler! Cool, this, but the Creeper. Cool. Nice.

Cool. Sounds good. The Creeper's after my cookies. He's going to steal some cereal. Now, let me break it down for you a little bit, because it sounds a little misleading. The Cookie Creeper. Creep is an aftermath once-ler who spends his spare time creeping upon others. See? Ah.

Okay. That's fine. Stealing panties and caring for his many insects which accompany him in his empty factory. Cool. Sounds like a cool guy. Cool guy. Creeping on others, stealing panties,

and caring for insects. You know, insects are important to our ecology, so that's good. Yes. Where did the insects come from? The trees are all gone. Fine. Don't mind.

Keep going. Well, that's why he needs the panties to let the insects in. See? Makes sense. Panties by insects love your panties! The Onceler is known to be openly affectionate with multiple people as well as

for formally having a small crush on One-ler We'll get to One-ler. a small crush on One-ler. We'll get to One-ler. Closing. This is the next section that's just called Closing. Creepler

was closed on June 9th, 2013 through plot-induced de-once-lerization. Excuse me? Wow, that's totally that word. The tantum and then put a... I was trying to pronounce it as

deoncelerization. Medical term. You can't keep a creeper open if they're no longer Onceler. Pop the creeper. It was discovered that he was, in fact, not really a once

slur yeah no you know what he was he was simply an incubus that had taken over the cannon once slurs body they really like possession in this so like fandom for some reason

like like like venom from spider-man is that what this is probably after separation Fandom for some reason. Like Venom from Spider-Man? Is that what this is? Probably. After separation, the incubus, Marcus Sharp, returned home. I'm not on a first and last name basis with the incubus.

It's no big deal. He went back to his billionaire romance novel. The businessman then decided that he would go on a private journey to give away the remaining truffula seeds into environments that cannot grow them uh a temporarily but hey temporary reopening and curse breaking i love that yeah don't worry He doesn't stay closed forever. Due mostly in part to Creep's fanbase showing dismay and general sadness over his de-Wunzlerization. General, he's experienced severe de-Wunzlerization. No, no. Just picketing in front of the front storefront.

Re-Wunzlerize this. Re-Wunzlerize this. Steal my panties. Steal my panties. No! Just picketing in front of the front storefront. Rewatch our eyes! Rewatch our eyes! Steal my panties! No! Steal my panties! No, no, no. Somber, somber candlelight vigil. Panties offered.

Just a wall of panties. Panties left at the gate. Yeah. A plot was set in motion to bring him back on February 28th, 2014. Oh. Triggered. Yeah. Triggered by the death of McCobbler.

McCobbler. The onesler that Marcus had possessed. That's a George Lucas name. That's what Snoop Dogg calls the guy who makes his shoes. Fuck you! Isn't the macabre a McDonald's villain? The macabre is the

onesler that Marcus had possessed, known as Empty. Oh my god. Known as Empty when he's not possessed, demanded that his final seed be planted so that he could join his lover in the afterlife. That's such a cheap excuse. Don't have to plant my

final seed. Come on. After having second thoughts mere moments before his death, Marcus was quickly requested that he repossesses the Onceler, thus saving his life while also freeing his valley of his curse. This is what Kingdom Hearts plotting does to you. It really is. Then Sora's in the background just watching this happen. Smile.

It really is! And then Sora's in the background just watching this happen. Smile. Creeper returned to the factory to observe the regrowth. However, it was revealed that the Onceler himself had to die in order to fully lift the curse. By whom? By whom? Who revealed that? The Lorax, I guess. Okay.

The Sneetches. The Fox and Sons. Voila! Oh, yeah. The Dr. Seuss cinematic universe. They pulled back the stars upon thars and revealed a dead one.

The DSU. So said death happened on May 21st, 2014. Now we all know when it happened. Where were you when that happened?

Stay for the post-credits and you'll get a glimpse of Yertle the Turtle. F-plus, I'm going to tell you about the one lure. Please tell me of the one lure. Yes, it's one hyphen lure. Ah, okay.

Yeah, good. Would you like to know about the character? Yeah, we've heard so much about him. Good, I've already changed his name. One lure is an aftermath

once lure cannibal who feeds off those who are daring enough to step outside the walls of Sneedville and venture out into the barren wasteland once called the Trufula Valley.

Trufula, but thank you. Trufula Valley, I knew that. His arms are scarred with burns and his eyes are yellow. He's dressing but hot. He's a vampire and a wolf that looks like Baldo. And he really wants to talk to you. Would you like to discuss the second season of Stranger Things?

That sounds great. In the Thneedville High AU.U. he acquires Lip piercing He's such a bad boy Of course there is That's the first on the list He's such a misunderstood rebel Wensler goes to Riverdale He would fit in perfectly

That would be an actual episode He guesses he is now Approximately 32 years old However he's lost Count of the years he has been put himself in exile. So your ships can be with anyone. That's right. Sure. What are you doing tonight?

Oh, no. Not getting eaten, I hope. He often hears voices and sees hallucinations, slowly driving away whatever pecks of sanity he has left. Which is the standard unit of measurement of sanity. Maybe you can fix him! A bushel and a peck of sanity. How many pecks of sanity can you spare?

Oh, wait, I have to put in my credit card, buy some more, hang on. How many pecks of sanity can you spare? I'll wait. I have to put in my credit card, buy some more. Hang on. Let me get going. Yes, yes. You definitely, you're right. It's fine. You can fix him.

You can fix him. Zarla, I would love you to tell me about the once thing. The once thing. The once thing. Let's see. About the once thing. The once Thing, I'm sorry,

Once Thing is a massive moss green figure similar to Slenderman. Yay! I'm almost at a bingo. He lives in the forest that he butchered in a past life and protects it with his life, although he can't remember the full story behind why he does it.

Because I haven't bought it yet. Those who enter his realm wishing to harm a tree are never heard from again. Despite this, he tries his best to be helpful and doesn't have many friends. But occasionally leaves his forest to give small potted truffula trees to

others as gifts. He hears everything that happens in the woods he calls home, including whatever the trees have to say. The trees cannot hear him, however. Along with trees, he likes the rain, insects, new friends, and the feeling of doing something just... My favorite thing about the Onceler is how he's

helpful to people and nice to the trees. That's his defined future. I love it so much. I read that last sentence wrong. And the feeling of doing something just... I thought for a second the sentence just cut off. Do something just, you know... It wouldn't put it past these folks.

Exactly. Hey, can I tell you about the book-loving Onceler? Oh, yeah. Do you promise that's what you're going to tell us about? The boob-loving Onceler. Wait, what? Wait, what? Hey, bean switch, motherfucker.

It's about books, right? Boob-loving Onceler, also known as Boobler, or simply just Boob. Boobler. Boobler. Boobler. or simply just Boob. Boobler. Boobler. Boobler. His blog replies mostly... Oh, okay. His blog replies mostly consist of text or artwork created by the mod.

He does both role plays and magic anons. His first post was on 6th of September, 2012, about the character. It is known that he has a large personal library filled with vast amounts and varieties of boobs. So are we talking about boobs? He has actual boobs. He's got boobs hanging on the wall. I believe this article may have been

manipulated. This is a wiki war right here. Somebody did a control H. Except I'm looking at it and I don't think you're right. I want to believe in a boobler. I'm looking at the edit history. I believe in the boobler.

Don't take boobler away from me. Okay, there's some joke involved. That's fine, whatever. Sometimes he is asked by other users if he has boobs that are related to a certain topic or genre that they are looking for. He usually has the boobs they are looking for. So it is very rare for him not to have boobs that person related to a certain topic or genre that they are looking for. He usually has the boobs they are looking for. So it is very rare for him not to have boobs that person is looking for. Personality. He is often

depicted to be kind and caring and warm-hearted. He is also a bit hasty in his decisions as well as being bold and being quite lucky a number of times. His luck is what managed to save him when he first met Wendigoler. Wendigoler. wendigoler wendigoler wendigoler most of his time he is patient with those who are difficult to deal with

uh and then miscellaneous boobler is known to have a bad temper if you don't treat boobs with hair or hurt his friends he still plays the guitar. But most of the time, his time is spent reading his vast boob collection. His home is located in boobs with care. I read band boobs. His home is located in a truffula forest by large lake. By a large lake. He's so nice.

The once was such a nice character that we were all supposed to find hot and fucked. That was the original intent of the book, which makes me so happy. The very last original character in this section. It's fine. Do you think you can take the Forgeler? I sure can. Cool. The Forgeler is a sure can. The Forgeler

is a mysterious split of the Onceler. Living in the northern lands, this Onceler is forward-thinking and decided to invest in a different front. Rather than factories and traditional business models, this Onceler invests in computer science. Oh god.

Great. What if the Onceler was a tech bro? Is he not already? Yeah, he's, yeah, he pretty much, yeah. Appearance. The Forge here is shorter than the average Onceler. He still dons the traditional green velvet suit and top hat, but has adopted an orange-red scarf and undershirt to set himself

apart from other Oncelers. Nope. The Onceler's got a scarf, asshole. Copyright me. Okay, so he's wearing a velvet suit, and then underneath that, an undershirt? Just a regular

undershirt. His scarf and his undershirt are orange-red. My Onceler looks like the Onceler, except he wears orange. That's right, copyright me. Is there a Onceler dollmaker? I'm going to look this up while you're reading this. I'm honestly shocked that all of my searches for Myers-Briggs

types and INTJ have brought no results on this fandom. I see Boots is hunting for his bingo squares as well. His glasses, which bear the appearance of traditional Onceler ones, are VR and intended to help this Onceler in his coding. It's difficult to gauge the specifics beyond this, however. This Onceler is rarely seen. Some say that when angry, this Oncelur's goggles coding display shines brighter than normal, allowing you to see the code in his eyes.

Oh, he's Matrix! Matrix-lur! Neo-lur! That's not code. So why Forge? Why not Code-lur? I hope that it's like well-formed Python. Like Source-forge, I guess? Oh! That makes sense. I hope that it's like well formed like Sourceforge I guess oh that makes sense the forgeler has a solid grasp of coding

he is able to fluidly edit and create pages as he pleases and from this is able to create a sizable following and even gain positions amongst those with power however sadly he only knows one coding language and it's for a kid's sight. You know how

you code kid's sights in different languages than a person? Everyone knows that. I love reading the writing of people that genuinely think code is magic. Every time you would originally type an R, you replace it

with a W. That's true. Okay, so his limiting his following to 10-year-olds and ability to get close to those in power to very tired high schoolers. Personality, the forgler, is cruel to ghosts

and does not allow them to simply crave, instead making them make the choice to have what they want instead of simply desiring it. The ghost had it too good. I'm cruel. I won't let you have desire anymore. You have to choose. Me to ghost. Get out of here, ghost. Is he the devil? Deviler. Dev devil? Deviler.

Deviler. Can we all make up our own Oncelers by the end of this? I don't think we can. I think it's clearly very hard. We've got a lot of time. A lot of lore. So that first section was time for Onceler OCs. The second section

is called Some Once-ler AUs on Tumblr. Yay, I love AUs. This section is very long, so we're going to be skipping plenty of it. So this one, much better title, much better author name.

So support text, this story is called Wanna Make Out and it is written by NightmareKisser. That's right. Wanna Make Out is apparently a 420. I love it. I love it if the body was just no, and then the end. NightmareKisser420. Yeah.

X, X, X. Hey, Boots, she's an INFP. Good. I'm counting that one. Check. Oh, that's delightful. Yeah, that's a check. That's a check.

Wait, INFPT, is that a letter? I don't want to know. That's Once-ler brain measuring. That's the Once-ler people. Once-lers are different from you and I. She says she's a weeaboo. I'm sure that's wrong. So I'm a nightmare kisser for 20.

This is my story. My hot story I want to make out. It's an auk-dorable swag tree one-shot. I know what that means, so I'm not going to explain it we all know what it means you don't have to tell us hey so wanna make out is by far the most shocking thing

entree no he's an entree he's an entree no it's the International English spelling of enter. It's a shocking thing. Enter Entree has ever heard come out of Swag's mouth. Enter Entree. Who are any of these people?

He blushes profusely and his eyes widen. He stares at the other boy and splutters. You're joking, right? No. Swag shrugs as he kicks his legs or they dangle from his bunk. The cabin around him smelling musty and mossy and gross

and he is really, really bored. He lifts his sunglasses to rest them on his head and he sends the other camper a lazy grin. There we go. So, Ioana, I've never done it before, and I'd like to try it. It seems fun.

But swag. Swag. Anyone can walk in on us. I love how they both sound the same because of the voice. They're both one-slurs. This one's not the scarf. They're both oneslers. This one's got the scarf. They're not the same. Yeah, you can't hear it, but one's wearing a scarf.

It's a different color. And that continues my story. But swag, anyone could walk in on us, and we'll get into so much trouble with the counselors. I'm assuming that's a different kind of onesler. Yep. The counselors. I'm assuming that's a different kind of Wunzler. The counselors. For inappropriate

behavior and you worry too much, Entree. Swag tries to convince the others. Swag. Snarf. Yeah. He hops down from his bunk and stands in front of the other teen.

Oh dear. Not liking this very much. Entree leaning back and looking pink in the face. His heart is racing in his chest and he feels butterflies and shaky in the legs. Yeah, but he hopes his bravado is still good and that Entree won't notice. It's really good porn to just set up that kind of romantic tension. One character says to another one, hey, you want to make out? And the other one's like, yeah, sure.

Whatever. It's the hottest thing you can say. It could go either way. Other hot things to say. How cute. You're scared of authority. Come hot things to say. How cute. You're scared of authority. Come on, Entree. Be a rebel and be a man and stand up

and kiss me. What? No! Entree retorts. Why the hell would I want to kiss a jerk like you anyway? A jerk like me? Is he talking in the mirror? I don't quite understand what's happening. I do like...

There's no sign of entree on this wiki, so I don't have any... And this is the story starting, so there's no... I mean, if this is the one slur fic, I think they are both the same person. I am going to picture this talking to a mirror. I like that. Talking to a mirror.

I identify with the self-loathing. Why the hell would I want to catch a jerk like you anyway? Because I'm hot, obviously. As if it were obvious, because he said obvious. Internally, a sinking seed of rejection pits in his stomach, but he ignores it. If you don't do it, then I will. This is getting pretty gross. Someone please stop me.

I don't know. I'll kiss myself if you won't kiss me. His own tongue sticking out and looping back into his mouth. His own tongue sticking out and looping back into his mouth. Zarly, can you pick it up with... Zarly, can you pick it up? Because we can skip plenty and we're still doing the same thing. Can you pick it up from here like this? Here comma like this?

Let's see. Here like this. All right. Yeah. So here like this, Swag instructs, and he reaches up and grabs either side of Entree's face. Being roughly 12, there's still baby fat in his cheeks, and his face smushes together a bit, and his lips are parted, his brace is exposed, and he looks so goofy that Swag laughs and drops his hands. I can't be serious when you look like that. Is he doing the, I'm chubby, my mom's chubby?

I have to assume. I was born on a pile of shit. Hey, Swag, don't you wish we were older? No, not really? Okay. Seems like the author could have had complete control over this situation. Chose to go this direction. Not great. Like direction. Not great.

Like what? Not great. This is my face. Not great. Not great. Swag laughs harder and Entree feels a flush of humiliation.

Are you going to kiss me or not, Entree Hubs? Fine. I'm trying again then. I miss him. One, two, three. Preservation's too high. He scoops up Swag's face in his hands in. I missed. His evasion's too high.

He scoops up Swag's face in his hands and mashes their mouths, softly trying to move his lips like he sees in movies. But Swagler, this is a very serious name that you can read and not laugh,

but Swagler, this is a very serious name that you can read and not laugh, but Swagler's mouth is still and unresponsive, and he attempts to talk. Why is that happening? Entrey pulls away, about to say, I forget what voice again, whatever. How was that? When he realizes that Swag's lips are raw, the skin torn from Entree's braces. What?

He slaps a hand. What? Did he pull his face off with his braces? No, it's like... That's metal as hell. He just licked into the other kid's mouth and just shook back and forth. Have any of you seen that Bill Plimpton cartoon, How to Kiss? I think they're doing that. Oh, this is How to Kissimpton cartoon, How to Kiss? I think they're doing that.

Oh, this is How to Kiss. You're absolutely right. Yeah, I think they're doing that. That's what I'm imagining now. It's way hotter than what's actually going on. That's why it was like, ain't wet strip. He slaps a hand over his mouth before apologizing. Oh my god, Swag, I'm sorry.

You dope, Swag says as he wipes his mouth. You failed me for the last time. Some saliva faintly pink with blood. That hurt. What? You can't have your mouth open when mine is closed. And like, watch those braces, man. Sorry.

I'll retract them. Here, sit down, Swag players. I gotta get my dentist in here. Why? It'll be easier. Sit! Fine, fine The story goes on This story is like

eight pages long and the only thing that happens is two boys kiss It is, it's really long 100% I mean, until I mean, until somebody else shows up. Well, then take it, Chell.

Oh. You smelt it. You dealt it now. It's too late. You fucked up. You played to the shit you agreed to. That was a test. It's just starting to get kind of good and closer to real kissing when they suddenly hear the cabin door open.

Uh-oh. Cast. Boys. Hey. Come out here and join us. We're about to. It's 72's deep voice. What?

And both boys squeak and leap apart on the bed. Is that dyslexic character from Hitman? It's a 72nd Wetzler. They couldn't come up with a name for him. Agent 27, your mission is to keep two boys from kissing in a camp cabin. All right, that sounds easy. This is going to be murder. Both boys squeak and leap apart on the bed,

Swag scrambling out from under Entrez's legs, tripping him. And they are both as red as tomatoes, and under the shadow cast by 72's hood, and past his sneed scarf, they can tell that he's grinning. 72 is the 1972 Onceler, you guys. So just the arms are stretching into the room.

So I just got the green gloves. Just the gloves. Fucking hell. It better just be the gloves floating in midair. It's like Thing from Adam's Family. Except for it wants to give me handjobs.

That is just extending really long into the room from outside. Yeah, I'm imagining, that's what I'm imagining, like eggnog style. Oh, never mind. Sorry for bothering you, boys. Ha ha ha. And he starts to close the door and leave the cabin.

Oh, to be at that age again where everything is scandalous and new. Well, back to writing my Tumblr blog. As soon as the older boy is gone, Swag points an accusatory finger at Huntree and

shouts, Don't you dare tell anyone about this or I will say that you're a gay pervert who's forced himself on me. And he hasn't done anything about those braces yet. So he's a homophobic. He made a homophobic clone of himself and then tried to kiss it. What? But this was your idea. And that makes you game

Perfect too Oh shit Oh my god If he's just pointing at a mirror This makes total sense No, you are Is that the best You can come up with?

And then they're both Huffily storming off in different directions entree heading outside and slag clamoring up to his bunk and hiding under his thin scratchy blanket with himself this is like what would happen if this is like what would happen if l ron hubbard did cocaine alone in a hotel room. Later that night, Swag hangs over the edge of his bunk and peers down at Entree. Joe, you

want to go into your room and try making out again? Entree sighs and tosses off his covers. Sure. What? What? I'm sorry.

What did he say? Why not? Why not? See, I told you. Sure, why not? That's the hottest thing you can say. Yep, yep. Sure, why not?

Sure, why not? Got nothing better to do. So hot. It's a one-shot. I guess it's either this or I'm never getting to sleep I'm assuming a one shot is actually another kind of Once learn Okay

For the listener there's now two pieces Of fan art featuring the The warden from super jail And the once learn There has to be more than two Yeah but I can't There's not yet a picture of the warden from Super Jail and the Onceler. No, there has to be more than two. Oh yeah, there's gonna be... Yeah, but I can't... There's not yet a picture of the warden from Super Jail strangling

the Onceler with his nerd thug. This one's getting there. Oh wow, yeah, there are a bunch, aren't there? Yeah, there are. There's a whole bunch. Okay, so I'm not gonna give you all of the story But I will give you By the way, thank you so much, Dr. Interrogative

This is delightful I'm not gonna give you all of the story But I am gonna give you the note that Dr. Interrogative gave me For this story This is a single sentence, ready? Yeah Okay For context, this is after a once-ler

Carried out a terrorist attack. Oh, dear. Oh, good. We're not emotionally stunted. Yeah, so I am the once-ler. Thank you. As many as you are well aware, the threat of the Greedlers

to our city has grown to be ever more of a concern to ours. I know that for many of us, life seems great, but we are deluding ourselves by thinking that Greedlers are a legitimate concern. I'll have you know, you are not the one, so you're

actually Aloysius O'Hare, the mayor of Meadville. Oh, I'm so sorry. The other adult who is not attractive enough to be pictured. In the movie, they needed an evil industrialist because the one is the nice one, so he's played by Rob Riggle and he doesn't like trees

there. That's his thing. I love this. There's so many Oncelers now they have to have meetings about how there are too many Oncelers. There are too many rats outside the town eating food. That's so good. Where are they all coming from? It's like somebody's just dreaming them up and setting them apart.

Where did they come from? I think I'm out of the sewers. You're finding so much Onceler warden from Super Jail. This is just a fraction of it. Anyway, okay, so back to it, back to it, back to it, here we go, here we go. I would like to speak

with you all about the tragedy that occurred at the O'Hare Storage Facility and Packaging Department. As I know, as we all know, many great people, human people, died that day. Human people? No fish. Fathers, many great people, human people died that day. Human people. Fathers, daughters, mothers, and friends. We know that those people, those people so full of life and energy will no longer be able to share our joy, our love,

and even be with us in our time of need. 20 people died that day. But they were all me, so whatever. 20 people. 20 citizens of my Thneedville. Of our Thneedville. And for what? What did they die for? Tyranny.

These people were killed by terrorists. From the organization known as the Resistance. Supporters of the Greenland. 20 unnecessary deaths occurred that day. By people who want nothing more than to see us all suffer and squirm in the tendrils of fear. We as a city must stop these tragedies from occurring again.

So I beg of you, I implore you to ask your friends, your family, people you know, anyone you can find and ask, or even over here. Speaking of the resistance, we need you to report this to us O'Hare Industries because we do not want any more deaths. Boo! Boo! Down with fascists! Up with the greeblers! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! No! Woo!

I'm seeing the once learned the warden of super jail squirming in the tendrils of fear right now. A lot of it happened. It's all this fan art being posted. They appeal to a similar set. February 7th, 2013. A member of the Resistance compromised our site.

Fortunately, they were unable to access any crucial information. Because this is Tumblr, so nothing fucking matters. As long as they fuck, I'm fine. Only children and bored high schoolers can reach the site. As of now, we at O'Hare Industries are working hard to find out who the hacker was. There is no need to be alarmed.

We have everything under control, and the criminal will soon be put behind bars. Thneedville will be safe. So, I'm confused. Is this like a story or is this like role-playing? I think it's role-playing. You're saying that there's some sort of

difference? I don't know. With us or against us. Wait, wait, wait. Let me give you an example against us. Wait, wait, wait. It's fine. Let me give you an example of both. So here's what role play is. I like a character.

And then a story. I'm the character that I like. Okay, I guess there is a difference. Sorry, moving on now. I'm not doing... And coming into the final section here We have a list Of Onceler Ask Blogs

These are all Different Ask Blogs on Tumblr Some of them are still alive Plenty of them aren't Dr. Interrogative has actually gone through And listed which ones aren't As though, what, we're going to visit all of them?

What was your thinking? What was your thinking when you listed that some of them are inactive? Hear me out. We give this entire list without context to Comquadzob. He comes back to us in an hour. Probably got 17 to go. I gotta click all these things. So Esvan,

you've got a list of regular Oncelers. I sure do. Regular Oncelers. I sure do. Regular Oncelers. What a list it is. Yeah. I'm so glad Boots isn't reading this. We've got an honest Onceler.

Ask Attic Onceler. Ask Artsy Oncy. Ask Bagler. Ask Bagler. Artsy Oncy. Ask Bagler. Ask Beanpole. Ask Beanpole Girl, which is gender-bent.

Yay. Ask Broadway Onesie. Ask Bluntler, who's 420 blazing. We do have to glint on that one, actually. I don't chop trees down, I smoke them. Ask Clueless Onesler.

Ask Computerler. That one's still working. I went and checked, and that one is still doing stuff. Good. Sure. Well, they got a family to thank. The movie's only a decade old. We've got Dear Onesie's Diary, Ask Daddy Onesie, Ask Drawn Onesler.

Shoot me with myself, Daddy. The less subtle Ask Drugler. Ask Drugler. Ask Duct Tape Onesler. Really likes duct tape. Ask Eatler. Ask Entertainler.

What's Eatler up to? There's nothing there? Bullshit! We'll never know. It was an art blog, too! Sorry. We've got Ask Femme Once-ler. Ask Fluffler. Ask Friend Once-ler.

You're not my friend. Ask Hippler. Ask Hippie Musician Once-ler. Don't call yourself Hippler. Ask hippie musician Onceler. Don't call yourself Hippler. Why not? Just a hip person, that's all. Not found. Yep, nothing there either, damn it.

A lot of these people wanted to erase their Onceler fandom life from the internet. It's almost like they moved on to a different phase of their lives entirely. A different fandom entirely. Innocent Onesie, Ask Inverted Onesler. Ask Nightblogger Onesler. I was born with an inverted Onesler.

It's been known to happen. They could do surgery for that now. It's just him, but he's upside down. He's standing on his head. We've got Ask Original Movie Once-ler. We've got Ask Shy Once-ler. Ask Song-ler. Ask the Soft-ler.

Ask Original Movie Once-ler is still active. You're asking them for fan art of themselves kissing a different once-ler. Yeah, that's more or less how that works. You boys should make out. Ask Timid Once-ler. for fan art of themselves kissing a different one. Yeah, that's more or less. Yeah, that's how that works. Right. You boys should make out. Ask Timid Onceler. Ask the 2012 Onceler. Asking the Onceler.

There's a bunch. You can skip if you feel like it. Okay, I'm going to skip down to Ask Violinist Onceler. Cool. Ask Onceler with absolutely no hyphens in it. Ask Overconfident Onesler. Ask Walmart Cashier Onesie. I'm clicking on that one.

That one, yeah. Oh, that's not valid. I don't think that job exists anymore. I think it's all self-checkout now. Ask Young Onesie. Ask Zero-N-See. Once and Trick. Bakler. Owns aie. Once and Trick. Bakler.

Owns a bakery. Bartendler. Bedtime Onesler. Biggering and bloggering. Book-loving Onesler. I'm tracking Digimon, like how they're related to each other. Ask Chance Onesler. Oh, Chance the Onesler, yay!

Oh, that's good. Chance the hedgehog was taken. What can I do next? We got changed man once lure. Constipated lure. Cute lure. Cute once lure. Here you go.

You didn't like hip lure? Well, here's hipst lure. Okay. Oh, that's worse. Yeah. Huggler. In, here's Hipstler. Okay. Oh, that's worse. Huggler. Innocent Onceler. Irrational Optimism. Knitler.

Irrational Optimism. Also not good. Knit-ler. It's with a K, by the way. It's a K-knit. Yeah. Lonely-ler. Loveler.-nit. Yeah. Lonelyler. Loveler. Lurkler. Naiveler. Lonely? Nobody wants a thneed.

Oncearella. Not bad. Once-thing. Onceyrabbit. Oncey the inspiring writer. Optimistler. Optimistic beanpole. Overly optimistic onceler. Pundler. Rabbitler. Shortler. Sillystraw onceler. Snuggler. Rabbit-ler. Short-ler. Silly straw once-ler. Snug-ler.

Sweetie once-ler. Time travel-ler. That's kind of good. The sugar high once-ler. The thneed guy. Thinking really hard about boredom. The once-ler answers. The lolita-ler.

Twitch-ler. Okay-ler. Winter-ler. Young once-y. Twitchler Twinkler Winterler Young Onesie Young Beanpole Ask Whip Onesler Ask Zombie Onesie And Once-ler

I would love to imagine that someone is like furiously typing No, I can't do that one, that one's taken Ah shit, no, that one's taken oh shit no that one's taken I put six in the chat or five in the chat that you skipped over that I think need to be read okay okay we've got a you know we've got a curated list

here by Bootsringer it's ask sassy gay once lurk ask shy beanpole ask stupid once lurk why bother why would I ask the Stupid Onceler? I want to know what the Stupid Onceler has to say. It's all just lines lifted from Fallout 1 when you make a character with one intelligence. Ask Overconfident Onceler.

Ask the Dunceler. And Lurkler, who never answers but is always online. and Lurkler, who never answers but is always online. Boots, you find any others there in the next list? In the green suit Oncelers? Yeah, this is specifically the green suit Oncelers. These are the green suit Oncelers. There's and the customers are buying. Ask classy Onceler.

Ask drunk Onceler. Ask drunk Onceler Ask Drunk Onceler Ask Drunk Onceler Electron Lord Ask Fem Swag Onceler Ask Gloomy Onceler Ask Greedy Swagler Ask Gentleman Onceler Ask Hot Mess Onceler

Ask Inkblood Onceler Ask Mr. Onceler Gentleman Wunzler. Ask Hot Mess Wunzler. Ask Inkblood Wunzler. Ask Mr. Wunzler. Ask Monochrome Wunzler. Ask Monster Wunzler. Ask Onesie and Greedler Girl. There are so many. Yeah.

Ask Seductive Wunzler. Ask Sexy Wunzler. Ask Smutler. Smutler. Also, a little problem. Yeah, not a higher-end Smutler. My old Smutler's not doing very well. I'm not paying any more for the Smutler. Sir, there are pornographers at the door.

Should I show them in? Thank you, Smutler Ask the Bratler Ask the Bratler with a baseball batler Oh yeah Ask the Goldler Ask the guy who is Biggering

It's a line from the book. Don't worry about it. Big bad biggering onesler. Cashler, don't ask the onesler. Oh, now I have to click that one. It's reverse psychology. I wouldn't still ask the questions around here. Fuckler!

That was somebody really mad that they didn't get their first four. I was going to say, whatever. I was going to say, when that person got that Tumblr account, they were like,

pump their fist. Advice. Wait, who is the advisor? The advisor is the personal advisor for the fuckler uh low quality once ler low lit ler nope don't also problematic um never ever gonna stop which is ask once their dad's son pet What? Pet Shop Wensler, Scared and Confusedler, the Slacker Greedlet,

Ask Smokeler, Ask Psycho Wensler. Actually, Boots, you need to tell me more about Ask Smokeler, please. Okay, his factory caught fire. Chemicals and cigar smoke have mutated his insides.

Needs to smoke more cigars or he will die. What? Sounds legit. Bitterbutts. Bitterbutts. Bitterbutts. My favorite line from the book. Spiderler.

The muteler. Thinking really hard about boredom. Spiritler. Acrimonious Onesley. Ask Chimeraler. Chimeraler. And then a shell game. A shell game.

Is there any... This sounds like a really rich universe. Really exciting, good universe. Is there any crossover fiction here? Oh, boy, it's there. Great, great. She sounds so excited. Rubbing my hands together.

You could ask the Doctor Horror Flur. Okay, never mind. Let's just move on. How dare you? We get to hear all of the... Stop. Fuck off. Fuck off. What's wrong? You don't want to ask Phantomler from the Phantom of the Opera?

Phantomler. See? There. It's classy. Classy. A night in the opera where people die. Classic. Ask Time Lord Wunzler.

See? Time Lord Wunzler. Yeah. Ask Wonkler. Wonkler. The Ghostly Jealousant, which is a Jealousant Wunzler. Ask Wonkler. Wonkler. The Ghostly Jealousant, which is a Jealousant Wunzler. That's a Pokemon. There's also Darko-ler, which is a Donnie Darko crossover.

There's Ask the Ozler, and I was hoping it was the other one. There's Hufflepuffler. There's a Jedi Onceler that makes sense oh Lemon Grab Onceler I'm confused by Ask Scalene-ler what is that? a triangle?

Scalene-ler it's a crossover with geometry Onceloid which is obviously the Onllor Vocaloid. Great. The Slenderman, which is just Slenderman. It doesn't indicate that it's a crossover. Slenderman's just here.

No, it's the Sleddler Man. The Oncellor in Super Jail. Oh, was that a crossover? I didn't have no idea. The Wardenler, which is also the one slur in Warden as one person. Okay, great. And the My Chemical Romance. I want the one two above the My Chemical Romance slur.

Oh, the worst pies in Greenville, the Sweeney Todd crossover. Yay! There's a leopard 4 Dead crossover. It's a good story. It's a good musical. My Chemical Romancer says, My Chemical Romancer has de-Wunzlerized when I click on the URL. The Left 4 Dead one is gone.

I wanted to see that. There is an MST3K crossover. There sure is. Gizmocrat once there. I'm not sure what that's referring to. Who knows? You've also, like, in the miscellaneous categories, you've got the sort of stuff that you would assume.

There's, like, there's Bonesler. There's Disturbed Onceler. There's the Dragon Tamer Onceler. There's the Glam Onceler. There's the Heinousler. He's been cursed by the Lorax for ignoring his demand to stop shopping the tree with his hideous, immortal body. Oh. There's the Zeroler.

That's pretty good. There's the Pageant Onceler, who's in pageants. The Pirateler. The pirateler. The stitchler. Then there's the stripper onesler. And of course, as you would assume, the wannabe onesler. Oh, yeah.

I'm sure. It feels like there are more AskVlogs than there would be people to ask questions to the vlogs. Well, you know, if it's a community that just sucks itself off, then that's good enough, right? Just like the Onceler. I mean, the Onceler does. Shadler has axes for hands.

Oh, shit, that's awesome. He burned down the Carp of the Valley and had his hands chopped off from the axe-cutting machines. One of these in the list, no context, is just Ask Sexy Billboards. Ask Pantsler? Is he just pants? Is he haunted pants? Possibly. The blog's down. Put your blog back up, Pantsler. I noticed there were a few that seemed like somebody's regular Tumblr that they just kind of co-opted

to use as an Ask blog. Just based on their names. Ask wants to write a bottle. It's a quarter genie. After being fused with Lorax DNA when he arrived and got struck by lightning. Lorax is a genie? So what did we learn from any of this, Fplus?

This is really fascinating. I love this kind of thing. What I think is interesting is that even if you have nothing to work with, people will make something to work with. That's the really interesting thing about the ones that are fandom to me, is that there was one person, and people were like, there's nobody to ship them with. I'm like, I don't care.

I'll make people to ship them with. I'll make a million people to ship them with. Listen, you. He's going to fuck himself, and you're going to watch. I don't care. I'll make people a ship him with. I'll make a million people a ship him with. He's going to fuck himself and you're going to watch. And then it just got further and further down where they got more and more removed from the source material and then the whole de-Wunstlerization where they

tried to make it not a Wunstler anymore and were like, this is my original character, he's not a Wunstler. It's like it's so weird. It's really interesting to me. Are they forcibly de-Wunzler-fying them? Did they put them in a chair and

throw an operation on them? The other thing I really like about this is that the legacy it left because everybody on Tumblr is now horrified by the Wunzler. It's like a threat. Where it's like, this is going to become the one next one. So you see, you see, it's going to happen again and you'll be sorry.

Look, I only need to know two things when you put a character in front of me. Is he skinny and is he misunderstood? I'll take it from there. That's it, the end. That's all you need. So I never heard of this before. I barely remember the movie coming out.

It wasn't about the movie. No, well, no, but it... Did these people like the movie? No, I don't think most of them did. That's irrelevant. I think a lot of them didn't like it. And the funnier thing is so many were in it, they were left and were like, I'm sorry.

Also, it's impossible to like that movie.'s impossible. It's impossible to like that movie. Yeah, it really is impossible to like that movie. It seems like a horrible bastardization of the source material. It was terrible. Of a beloved book. Yeah, it's... As a kid, the book and the subsequent first feeling cartoon... When I was a very young child, that story affected me because at the very

end they say unless you take care of this last seed for this tree nothing is going to get better but it leaves it hanging as to whether or not anything is going to change yeah because it's up to you yeah and in in the movie the lack of trees is just a minor inconvenience to one guy in the town. And by the end of it, the Onceler who, throughout the movie, is portrayed as just this little baby boy who doesn't – he's just awkward and he just tried to do good and he just messed up. The embodiment of a rampant industry is given a face and just being like, oh, he didn't mean to do it. He did a little fucky-wucky. Poor him. And then he fixes it in the end, right?

Yeah, and at the very end, they get the tree seed, and it just instantly grows into a tree, and everyone gets all the trees, and the Lorax even personally thanks the Onceler for fixing everything. Let's just see if things got any better yeah of course

you were saying that like the line that you liked at the end was like this is your seed and if you don't take care of it this is the last one and all of humanity rests on this seed right yeah let's compare that against this line entre sighs and tosses off his cover

sure why not? Yeah. That's pretty high. The thing is, the conclusion to come here is that they already said they're in their mid-20s or whatever. So if you saw that movie in your mid-20s and your takeaway was, wow, I hope the green guy kisses himself. You fucked up. You fucked up in life somewhere. I understand that you deleted

your blog yeah the other thing that's really interesting is that everybody i know who was ever involved in it is like deeply ashamed of it and they look back on that they look back at the heart of their life and go like what what the hell was i doing what was i i love i love that part of it i love that part of it that like that like we've gone you know and some of this is about like sort of tumblr as a whole as well but like it. That we've gone, you know, and some of this is about Tumblr as a whole as well, but that we've gone through and there's, I mean, I would say this list has, I don't know,

4,000 blocks. It's like it's a lot. And fucking all of them are offline. Yeah, all of them are deleted. What are you talking about? I don't know what I'm talking about. I've never met anyone who was ever proud of being into the Wunzler fandom.

They're all, like, deeply ashamed and want to bury it. Pantslur? That doesn't sound like me. What's a Pantslur? I don't understand. I didn't make this up. What are you talking about? Attendance for WunzlerCon22 is way down.

And it's still there Sorry, go ahead If you're looking for a place on the internet where nerds hang out That's ballpit, B-A-L-L-P dot I-T Bortek shows up every once in a while Like, gets mad at cartoons Yeah, then leaves, that's pretty much all I do anymore Yeah, yeah, pretty much Is that what you do in your regular life, or is that just

More or less, like, I'll just knock on Toast's door At his house, and he'll open the door. I'm in a cartoon! You're watching Delgo with me and he just slams it in my face. I'm probably cartooning. You're going to listen to it. It's important to know that Portex still maintains the punishment

name I gave her like eight years ago. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we had a rule that it was if you get away... Yeah, because it was the word anal will be replaced by the word monster cock. And then the other rule that we came up with was if somebody tried to get around the word filter, we would punish them by changing their name. Which they could just change back themselves.

Oh, I can do that? I didn't know. I thought I had to ask about that Oh well So Vortex has spent, I don't know Seven years or something on Vault As the crappy Pokemon nobody knows Oops That's just my identity

I like you Quillfish Okay, bye bye bye bye I think what happened is there were AskVlogs. AskVlogs were normal-ish. It starts after the movie. The AskVlogs just kept growing, and people kept making their own AskVlogs. They wanted to get in on all that cool attention.

And then they started sending each other, they started talking to each other, the blogs, and they started shipping each other the blogs. And then people again going off of that and then just kind of spiraling down in this increasingly insular kind of weird thing. And they just kept expanding outwards. If you wonder how we got to the super nanny fan and wiki this is like it just kind of kept breaking down yeah until until even the even the even the shared uh even the shared source material didn't really have to be based in anything

for example this is what they think the clock from Don't Hug Me I'm Scared is supposed to look like. Ah, yeah, another sex event. Oh, my God! The clock and the notepad. I remember that. Yeah, the notepad. I remember that. Are they on the sex event, Wiki?