The F Plus - 389: Creepy Encounters With Total Idiots

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

The subreddit of r/CreepyEncounters is a place where redditors post true stories of lived experiences that are disurbing, strange, paranormal, or somehow otherworldly. I mean, ostensibly. In our experience, the stories are dubious, meandering tangents of fictional self-inserts that frequently fail to meet the definition of "story". But if you were looking for a preamble of what an allyway is, you're in the right place. This week, The F Plus wanted mythological beats, but Socretes is just a man.

You're waking in my home, but it's haunted, it's haunted The market goes so low and I lost it But I've been seeing some things that I should not believe Creaking door noise Welcome to the F Plus Podcast Crashing thunder sound A terrible place Um, uh, shouting woman

With terrible things Somebody saying the word feminism Red with enthusiasm And in the room tonight we have Booth Rangier. Cody screamed, fuck, this guy is right behind us. Then he grabbed Cody by the shoulder and yanked him back. Cody was pretty tough, so he threw the guy off and ran

straight past me. Frank West. Ominous screaming lightbulb. Achilles Heelys. She was a seven-year-old doll at the time. Dijon du jour. Bed shakes when my SO and I are in bed together. And lemon.

I asked her, do I smell like that? And she said, I don't smell you enough to know. In this weird unbecoming tone. I can't believe But then again The ghost of love Will never leave Will never, never, never, never, never leave I'm haunted I'm haunted By you

Oh, I'm haunted I'm haunted I'm haunted by you Hey F-Less Hey Lemon How have your encounters been? Existent

This is a normal question This is a normal opening question Have you ever done a work function and you have to do icebreakers? Yeah. Can you ask the question again? How have your encounters been? Close. Ooh.

All right. That's anonymous. Nope, that works. That works. Well, I think that one of the things that... I've been in a little bit of a rut lately. I've been in a little bit of a rut.. I've been in a little bit of a rut. These are sort of like blending into each other, you know, day turns to night.

And I think one of the reasons why that is, is that there just hasn't been enough, you know, mystery in the world. Enough intrigue. Yeah, there's not enough going on in the world. I would like more things happening, please Just open up the newspaper And it's mostly empty That's why they invented The term delight scrolling

Yeah, but I Want to bring us to a place where wonderful things happen. It's called Reddit, or Reddit.com. And this time around, we're going to be going into two different subreddits. One of them is r slash creepy encounters. And then the other one is r slash let's not meet. We're going to... This was a document given to us by Semantic Weeb.

And thank you so much. And we're just going to listen to some true stories from some people that had real, super true things happen to them. And then we're just going to be awakened with the magic and mystery of the world. Cool. Great. So to that end, and again, this is Expect Spectacular Things.

So we're going to start off with this story. Frank West, you are a user by the name of ImagineDragonRocks. Okay. Imagine Dragon Rocks. ImagineDragonRocks. Yeah. Pretty good, right? Yeah.

You're welcome. Yeah. Oh, the header has a hover effect. That's very scary. Yeah, but what happened to you there, ImagineDragonRox? Chased by freaks at the water park after tooting too many times. Boy!

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Boy. This happened a really long time ago. But I still get scared. I'll see these people again. When I was a really little kid, I went to the water park and said, Guess what?

I am big enough to go down the big slides. Wow. To the air. Guess what, slides? I'm big enough to go down you. So I went to the biggest slide. It was called Zimbabwe Rapid Rush, and

walked up with a tube. I know what you're thinking. What is so creepy about this? Just wait for it! This is called building anticipation. Zimbo-bee-boy. Zimbo- Zimbo B-boy. Zimbo B-boy. I don't know why, if I search for that, I just come up with this thread on Reddit.

Huh. This thread's just that notable, that's why. That's why it has zero updates. I had been eating chili fries all day long because they are really good And I don't get to eat them at home But it made me really have to toot So while in line

I heard these big boys behind me saying Hey big boys Oh gross Yeah big boys You know that's what we call a group of large males Big boys Oh gross Something here

smells like the S-word. Whoa, thank you. Salmon? They kept making jokes that someone in line pooped their pants. Meanwhile, I am getting really steamed because I didn't, and they were only

toots. I decide I won't stand for it and get them back. So right before going down the slide so they can't catch me, I said, maybe it was you who pooped his pants. Nice! Damn. Wow. Got him! The perfect comeback, really. What?

And then I went down the slide and I was gone forever. come back, really. And then I went down the slide, and I was gone forever. But when I got to the front of the slide, it was way too big and really scary, and we were really high up, so I could not do it. Plus, I basically just admitted to being the tutor. Busted! I threw my tube

at them as hard as I could, so they would maybe fall. We were really high up, but they were really big, and there was water below us. I ran as fast as I could, but they were really mad at me, probably for tooting so many times, so they and the lifeguard started chasing

me. This is like a Bethesda game. The lifeguard was also a big boy, so he just sort of joined in. Well, yeah, yeah, big boy code. The big boys were embarrassed. He was bopping up and down the street.

They were saying really scary things like, Get him! Really loud! Get over here! Finish him. I almost made it to the bottom of the stairs before one of them grabbed me by the arm, which actually didn't hurt that bad, but they had to call my parents to get me.

I didn't even do anything wrong because you can't control passing gas, but I still got told I really messed up by my parents, and I still am scared I will see them and never want to go back to that water park so they can finish the job. What job is that? Grabbing my other arm.

No. So, did the big boys evict you from the park? I don't... They grabbed his arm and it didn't hurt, but it hurt enough that his parents had to show up. Were you kicked out of the park for

farting yes and his parents hate him for it now no son of mine farts can I can I read some other posts by Imagine Dragon Rocks

please yeah absolutely a lot of opinions on music, which is not surprising from him, but one is Megadeth is better than Metallica. I mean, sure. Yeah, the rock band Creed... The rock band Creed is

way better than the rock band Queen. All right. All right. Fine. Sure. Okay. Sure. And I don't know.

Anyone else find it odd how much Kremlin sounds like Gremlin? Cool. Good. Yeah. Good one. Of Bush's glycerine, he says, this song is amazing. of Bush's glycerine he says this song is amazing the government has done so much bad stuff

it's crazy does anybody else think Star Fox is actually really scary I haven't gotten far enough in this creepy encounters episode to think that yet Dijon, what did you find? Yeah, I found my creepy friend I'm the tea drinkers

Oh, fine Okay All right I have a friend named John He's quite into Mythological beats And whatnot Speaking quite frequently of it

Check it Socrates Boots and sphinx and boots and sphinx Socrates is a mythological, Socrates. Boots and sphinx and boots and sphinx and boots. Socrates is in the closet. I'm sorry. Socrates is a man. Socrates is just a man. My bad.

You gave Frank Russ enough time for his joke, so don't worry about it. Today's the day that elizabeth socrates is just a man just an innocent man speaking quite frequently of it even having a religion surrounded by them believing in the greek and roman gods and such My friend is Socrates. Yeah. I believe it's called Anonichist or something similar? I think it's just called annoying.

Annoying. I worship Ares. So, he speaks frequently of his hate for preps and such. Yep. At the moment, we're in middle school. Okay. Yeah.

So, one day, in seventh period, we were taking notes on something. When he takes three fingers, makes a gun, and pretends to shoot it at this guy. Oh, my God. He also makes the beheading gesture. Greeks and Romans were always doing that. The beheading? So he sort of creates a guillotine with his hand? Elaborate shadow puppet?

Is it the thumb across the neck thing? Yeah, the finger across the throat. Yeah, it's probably that. Okay. The class freaks out. The teacher attempts to call the police on him for death threats, and he attempts to justify it

by calling it the good fortune for beheading and three-finger point look up. What? Huh? And the teacher is stunned by this logic apparently he was already having a difficult time calling the police the teacher makes him drink hemlock and now we've reached today agreed we were using our laptops and i looked over and i saw him on google drawings he was making listen i guess six years ago that was a thing he was making

a satanic summoning drawing pentagram It was surrounded by candles as well. The laptop, presumably. Jesus. Jesus. What, what, what a tattletale you are. Dear, how do I call the police? And he cheated off Marcus? He wasn't paying attention?

And he cheated off Marcus? So, I call him out. And the teacher looks up and calls him to his desk. John begins to delete everything, close the lid, and walk over the teacher. He's sent back after showing him it was harmless. He then began to justify it by creating something similar and calling it summoning of dragons, then later knowledge. I just have a small breakdown at the end

of every paragraph. So, kind of really, really creepy. Just thought I'd share. Great, man. Thanks. Thanks so much. thanks so much hey the tea drinkers um can you read the piece in uh lime green that that this subreddit is putting above every post oh yeah uh you've had to have subscribed to this community uh so please respect that by not downvoting. Thanks. Cool.

They also have the style sheet option where the downvote button is removed unless you are subscribed. Wow. Yeah. I love a lot of this stuff. Okay. My name is Kermit2008 and I'm going to tell you about Halloween of Hell!

All right, great. So, when I was young, I used to go trick-or-treating with my family, and one year in my town, there was this house that never gave out candy, but for some reason it was, but we had a baby sister, and there was a long line, so we did not go to house i love i love when really young people right when i was young it's like that that mitch headbird joke i used to do drugs right i still do too but i used to what do you mean he's 2008 years old uh so as we were trick-or-treating and it started to get cold and dark, we went home. As we were on the way home, I saw the cops zoom down the street, and I did not think much about it because there were always cops going down the street. Good?

When I got home, I was getting ready for bed. My parents had the news on, and I was nosy and wanted to see what they were watching. And on the news, that house that never gave out candy, the news reporter said, The cops just broke down this door at two so and so house to find a horrible sight. There was dead people and body parts. This is in quotes, by the way. This is what they actually said on the news report. Yeah, yeah. No.

Sort of a stream of consciousness report. There was dead people and body parts. They had a few families on the screen. In other news, citywide carbon monoxide leak. When the kid noticed, this is still the news report, when the kid noticed how heavy the bags were that opened to find the human remains, and I will never forget that year. That's my story!

Okay, so, hang on. Somebody write that in your yearbook. Hang on, the kids... Did the people just put entire bags of body parts in Kig's candy bags? Don't open it till later! Boots, will you tell me about the cult of the clown

pretty please? I would love to. I am Saratox. I'm going to go to the subreddit here and see. Yep. If you have not yet subscribed to this community... Everyone remembers the 2016

epidemic of killer clowns, right? I had a terrifying experience with clowns this 2021. Whoa. Wow. It was May 2, 2021. It was May 2, 2021. I'm an 13-year-old teen at Puerto Rico. 13-year-old teen.

Yep. 13-year-old teen at Puerto Rico. My parents live at a forest area. We own a farm. Things are pretty normal here. Until that day, it was a night at the farm. Dad told me to go check outside to see if any of the chickens were outside of the chicken house. At first, nothing was too out of hand, but then I heard sudden sounds in the deep forest.

I wasn't sure about if I wanted to check out, but I did. Then I saw it. There were, there were, eight men dressed up as clowns. There were? There! There were. There were. Eight men dressed up as clowns laughing

while dancing around what seemed to be a burning pentagram. But it didn't seem as a normal pentagram like those you see in movies. They were dancing around it and then one of them noticed my flashlight. He yelled at the others.

How is the pentagram abnormal? You forgot to mention that part. That's not important. abnormal? You forgot to mention that part. That's not important. Oh, okay. It was so weird. It was shaped like a pile of sticks. It looked like somebody made it on Google Drive. It had six sides.

He yelled at the others who quickly noticed me. They stood still for while but then started walking away looking at me slowly while disappearing on the dark forest i told my parents and asked if i should tell the cops they said i should not do so because if they were near home they would probably know it was us if it spread across media because if someone manages to keep themselves as a secret for so long, they should have the power to erase entire families. I hope none of them is looking on Reddit, but please, if you ever

see something like this, do not tell anyone and back off because bad things happen to snitches. Stay safe and please don't. I won't. I won't stay safe, thank you. So, so...

Stay safe and please don't. So, may I ask, have you ever encountered something like this? No. Can I just... Can I read the first rule of this subreddit, the top rule? Yeah, oh my god, for sure.

Non-fiction only. Well, yeah. I mean, I've encountered the clown party. The eight clowns that were dancing around a pentagram that looked strange in some way? Yeah. It wasn't like a normal pentagram. Yeah.

That is all. Also, this subreddit is for the stuff that's mildly creepy this is this is the one for the mildly creepy oh oh i see oh i didn't know there was levels okay see what i did the next one was just a little bit creepy not enough to alert the authorities yeah it's just i mean if there were like 12 clowns Maybe I can't even make a pentagram right What you got there Heelys Hey I'm PJKC10 And an unknown man In my alleyway

Sings to my muskie Tiff Just for you guts to my muskie. Husky. Alright. Tiff, just for you guts that don't know an alley an ally way is a long lane of ground that parallel fences from

each house on either side make up. I'm on the other side of the street, so I actually have an access way. This happened ten minutes ago at 0022

and it's 100% true. Okay. Alright. Cool. That's fucking amazing. I've never had a story Start like that before Just so you know here's what an alleyway is

Just for you guts Just for me guts Just for you guts Need that context Just for me guts. So, okay. Sorry, one second. Are you too creeped out by this?

I'm very, yeah, this is nervous laughter. Sorry. So a little background. I'm 16 and I smoke bad, I know. Yeah, you are bad, yeah. I smoke bad. I currently live in Essex, England, and I sound like this. My mom works nights at her job in London,

and being the only child, I have a free house myself for a lot of the time so I take it upon myself to stay up all night and as I did tonight I went out for a smoke cool that's awesome take it upon myself to stay up all night yeah my slef I should have said um when I go out for a smoke I like to listen to music so i went on youtube and being a lincoln park fan i started playing numbs that's very cool yeah the sing came out of my phone louder than expected and as i did i hear a lot of moving coming from the ally way. I brush to the side as my loud music and think I had scared a cat or something of that nature. Oh, man.

Somebody's about to get flash mobbed. I pressed play on my phone and resumed listening. I then start to hear a humming, lower petite sound, so I stop the song. There was silence. And then I shit you not, a voice carries on with the next line of the song. I freak out and blot towards my door. As I step into my

patio, I hear a voice. Hey, I like that song. I slam the door shut, run up to my room and place my desk in front of it. I don't know who this man slash woman was. I don't know what had, what to do. I am home alone. I don't know if he or she has gone.

This is not the first. Huh? No, it's just somebody in the ally way like, he goes, he goes, I'm all so sad and hate my parents. Wicky, wicky, wicky, wicky. Yeah. Oh, God, it's so freaky.

This is not the first time some has tried to come slash hide in the ally, although this is not a frequent occurrence. I apologize. My grammar and spelling is off, but I had to write this down as soon as I could.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm willing to ask any questions update. If anything else happened. Oh, you're willing to ask any questions. I'm going to, I'm going to,

did you see the comments? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My name is Fertile Taco. I got two points. Maybe they were also smoking in the alley and liked that song.

No, dude. I was in my garden. The alleyway is private property. A small stretch of growth that separates houses. Like, you shouldn't be there. It's not meant for walking down. It's not even one meter wide. The alleyway isn't private property. Enemies aren't allowed in the alleyway.

Yeah, no one in the alleyway. Okay. Alright. I'm going gonna skip past the next terrible scary story in this document but I just want to let the listeners know that the next story

was written by Jewfucker1945 Jesus Christ Yeah That is a very Reddit name. Good job, Reddit. Glad that's still a profile. It's also a clown in the woods story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, we are gonna leave this place because I think we were insufficiently terrified. And so now we're going to get into paranormal encounters years ago was the last time we did paranormal encounters i think the only episode that has chris collision in it um i think uh that's a good one uh yeah anyway um so, my name is Flash, Flash Kiki, and I just want to tell, uh, you folks about

this Reddit. Um, uh, I'm getting messages in my meditation that these UFO, at least the ones that look like orbs of light in the sky are actually native to the earth. Whoa. Yeah. Right. Okay. So they are a type of species that survive in the atmosphere and with corporeality that is made of photons.

Right? Yeah, okay. They know us and our mood swings quite well. They don't expect eye contact because they know very well that we punish anything that is other. And their bodies are pure energy that could be easily harnessed for weapons. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. I for weapons. Hmm. I'm not... No, I'm not high. Why are you asking?

It's super easy. I would do it in a minute if I could. All aliens are very small and made of metal and they fit in a gun. They're from Earth. They're not aliens. They're just UFOs. I do like the idea of like It's like a

Like Zack Snyder's Gulliver's Travels Where he picks up the Lilliputians And shoves them into a machine gun While a crying man shoots them I didn't think I wanted to see Zack Snyder direct anything anymore, but maybe I'm on board. Okay, so in other words, while they don't want to kill us,

they're also waiting patiently until we destroy ourselves. The funny thing was when it said to it said to me quote your species converts holy lands into unholy lands of death oh got him the oppressed become have become the oppressors we fear this that wasn't in quotes and now this part is oh wait no that's the end of the quote no yeah no it's just a really bad font. Oh, okay, great. Sadly, unless we have a global awakening, chances being very slim, we will never know them.

Though my context seems to think that human rebirth as a being of light is a thing which they believe in, this is why they do not kill us as we deserve based on our activity. So, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Senses. They do not need oxygen to breathe. Just photons and other material like minerals and water to breathe. They are born from light and do not require sexual interaction. They are a feminine energy and worship the Earth itself. Wait, so they're aliens but they worship the Earth? They're not aliens. They're just UFOs.

Oh, they're UFOs. They're from here. Man, I'm sorry. I've been brainwashed for so long, it's just hard for me to see the truth now. We all have this trouble. It's because of all this unholy land you've been living on. So imagine how...

Identified feminine objects. So imagine how they feel watching the Amazon birds burn and the lakes oozing with chemicals. They neither love us or hate us, but they can spot compassionate energies and are drawn to them. They say they wish they could do more to protect the protectors and shield the innocent, but stress that until humans can evolve to move away from faiths of blood sacrifice

and interface of interconnectivity to the true source, which requires no self-harm or violence towards others, that they will stay hidden, confounding our discoveries and moving through the doorways of the hidden spaces that humans crave. So, if you really want to connect with the paranormal, period. The end.

Oh. Okay. Yep. That's all This is a quick one but You met a creature didn't you I'm why it has opinions Oh boy Oh dear I've met a creature Wyatt has opinions. Oh, boy. Oh, dear.

I've met a creature! He is not a ghost. His name is Tim. I named him that. He's a humanoid creature. He figured out English. He's taken a liking to me. I find him charming, and he's very nice. Also strong and unaware.

He's so strong. And he said he wants to give me a hug. My friend and I gave him soup. This is a very cute story. And he is not malevolent. So, Wyatt,

I know that you have opinions. I have opinions. Obviously, I clicked on your name there. Yes. What kind of opinions do you want to share? Yes, I said cum brain, lol. Oh, my God. Yep. I am, wow.

I am, fuck. Anyhow. Wow. Mm-hmm. I am the worst. I belong on 8chan not reddit farewell

he's been called back to his home planet that's nice there is one thing here which is he just posts about gacha games also so there's that in addition to all the other horrible things there's just one Oh, okay, cool. In addition to all the other horrible things. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

There's just one more here in the... R slash Doge lore? Oh, no. Oh, no! Go to R slash Doge lore for my hate speech! Don't go there!

There's one more that we have here in r slash creepy encounters and a frank west that's me your poker fishing poker fishing pool poker fishing pool I'm a poker fish in a pool my ex girlfriend and paranormal experiences.

So, Xenster manga? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. So there's so much that happened between me and my last ex that blew my mind and opened me up to a whole new side of this universe I thought didn't exist. I had sex, everybody.

At this time, I was living with a girlfriend at the local strip club. They rented out rooms by the week upstairs. Oh, you were living at the strip club, okay. Yeah, no, you thought that was a mistake. Oh, you were living at the strip club. Okay.

Yeah, no. You thought that was a mistake. Amazing. And ended up breaking up with her for this girl across the hall. Come on. Come on. This is a Grand Theft Auto plot. Yeah, no, I can imagine the fade in and out of the cutscene here for sure.

Shut up, bitch! Oh, Carlos, you're here. I need you to do something for me. Yeah, this is definitely the plot of an Itch.io visual novel. There was just something about her, and although I heard stories about her, she was extremely beautiful and really fun to be around. We both felt like we were each other's opposites, as in I was a male, her, she is a male, me. Oh, now I understand that sentence. That's quite the puzzle. I was male her.

Okay, yeah, yeah, of course. Did I make it any more obvious? Yes. Anyways, at this time I was a heroin junkie And she was into sniffing fentanyl So she's dead You know the two opposites

She's not alive If one is into that That's why she's turning old She's a ghost Just doing lines of fentanyl Just racking them up My other ex hated that shit So I got with her and it was go time

She had been a stripper since 21 And had a pretty wild life too But She had only ever done needles A few times Once she was with me though She was down 100% emoji to do it, and she trusted me because

I was an experienced professional. Oh, professional junkie! Alright! Yeah, no, I took the licensing and everything. Let me show you. Take my hand. Those certifications are really hard to get. Yeah, it's not easy.

Always used clean shit, knew where to go, in and out, every time. Anyways, so at this time, we were only doing heroin, but she always wanted a half gram or gram of coke every day, so I got her that, too. I like it when junkies pride themselves. I'm like, I always use clean rigs and it's like cool thank you for telling the truth heroin addicts to grab my heroin i had to travel butt train about an hour to the other side of toronto to and do the whole thing to get back to grab my heroin i had to travel butt train about an hour. What do you want?

These trips... You can't... Sorry, I honestly thought, because I wasn't reading along, I thought you were smuggling it across the city for some reason. No, no. You get the heroin in eastern Toronto. You do it in western Toronto. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole railroad track divide, obviously. Yeah, you get it at the docks. You do it at Topic. You do it in Western Toronto. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole railroad track divide, obviously.

Yeah, you get it at the docks. You do it at Topic Oak. I get it. These trips we made usually together, but if she was sick, I'd tough it out and go and get it. Because after all, I'd be able to shoot up soon as I got it. Oh, motivated by heroin. Are you heroin addict? Interesting It sucks to go get heroin

But then I do get heroin So, you know The best part about getting the heroin Guys, I gotta tell you There's an unexpected perk. Was to like I was going to suffer with her until I got back to the club. So the one day I'm coming back and when I come in the room, she was holding this pearl necklace in the air and it was like spinning. It was spinning.

When she saw me, she had that look someone gets when they get caught doing something they're not supposed to yeah so she was she was a heroin addict in possession with an unsold pearl necklace got it yep she's a fentanyl addict not a heroin oh i'm so sorry so i kept bugging her asking what the fuck it was all about, and she said, you're just going to call me crazy. Finally, after me nagging her, she told me what she was doing. I have a guardian angel that I speak to all the time, and when I have serious questions that I don't know the answer to, ask my guide, and she tells me what I need to hear.

Okay, okay, got it. Obviously, at this point I was basically an atheist drug addict junkie and thought it was some woo woo woo stripper shit. Woo woo woo woo. I feel like somebody's about to turn his chair around.

But we sorry, woo woo woo. Woo woo woo stripper shit. but we talked more and more about it and it came out that her whole life as far back as she can remember supernatural shit has been happening to her from seeing ghost i guess the movie to having the conscious contact live she saw she saw ghost live once. Oh, wow. To having the conscious contact with this guardian spirit, her ability to predict future events, and she was super amazing at finding things that go lost. Hey, you're going to go buy more heroin. Whoa, I am.

Woo-woo-woo. You're a understudy. Next week, you're going gonna lie to your mother you're never gonna guess i found i found the jewelry of yours that vanished and also a hundred dollars that finished out of your wallet wow she told me she had been asking her spirit on advice for me at the time i was doing a lot of shatty stuff. B&Es, car hopping, robbing drug dealers, and just ripping a lot of people off. Wow.

Apparently, this whole time, she was getting me to do the ones that her spirit guardian said I could do. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I guess I missed it in all of the... Can you list your crimes one more time? I was doing a lot of shatty stuff. B&Es, car hopping, robbing drug dealers, and just ripping a lot of people off. Car hopping.

So delivering burgers to people and drive up restaurants? No, no. He jumped on top of cars as they were driving by and surfed on them. Oh! on top of cars as they were driving by and surfed on them. It's the more politically correct term for the Chinese fire drill. Okay.

Go. Apparently, this whole time she's getting me to do the ones her spirit guardians said I could do, which you can't fucking handle that guy. Don't have to mess with that guy, trust me. This one, he's a pussy. You can fucking steal from that guy don't have to mess with that guy trust me this one is a pussy you can fucking steal from that guy don't even worry about it

I even started using the the connectless too but I had my own all made of pearls so you this is when shit started getting crazy so I didn't know who I was asking these questions to, but I now believe it was a dark spirit. But he did give me good advice as far as which houses to go into and which people to rob. So that tripped me out.

All right, all right. Yeah, so it's still Grand Theft Auto. That's nice. Spirits are proud. The spirit is putting the little letters on your mini-map so you know we are moving into saints road territory at this point but i think this is the darkness one day when we were low on heroin and i was about to make the journey for the next ball i saw she still had like half a G of coke.

I read online and had heard you could IV it, so I said, hey, why the fuck not? Yeah, why? Why? Why not? Why not? Yeah. Why?

Don't worry, he's a professional. Yeah, right. He only uses clean shit. He said that. Yeah. Yeah, and only uses online sources for info. Doing my first IV shot of cocaine was in itself a spiritual experience. Like you almost died? Yeah.

Yeah, you became a spirit. She saw how it made me moan and lie on the bed, so she wanted one too. So I gave her one, and we laid down, and suddenly we were so horny, and my dick had never been harder in my whole entire life. At this point, we had been together just about a month, but she had never seen my full rock-hard dick because I was always on so much heroin. So this is supernatural somehow? Heretic thing? Do you want to hear a supernatural story?

I got a bird. I actually had a full erection once. Wow. I got it all the way up. All I had to do was do a lot of cocaine really, really fast. Got it. I hope the story ends with a pentagram in the woods and clowns. I hope so.

This poor dark spirit holding your dick up ow definitely a grower it was some of the best sex either of us had ever had and we made the decision to get on methadone and start just smashing coke. Time to get clean. I mean, it's a 50% reduction. Heroin and cocaine to just heroin. No, just cocaine. It's fine. I mean, I guess there's still fentanyl

around somewhere. Oh, yeah. Then it became a whole nother ball game. We would shoot up and start seeing these dark show-do figures in the room watching us while we fucked. She started acting weird.

She didn't want me looking in mirrors. All this paranoid shit that usually comes from too much cocaine. Were you doing too much cocaine? Yeah, you were doing a lot of cocaine. Do you feel like I get what happened here? You've left

me the clues to detective this one out. There were so many paranormal Threxperiences that me and her shared. Too many to all write out, especially if no one wants to read them. Yeah, no, we roughly wanted to hear all the details of your drugs

and your drug sex, but here on Paranormal Encounters, we don't really need the paranormal detail. It's boring. Oh, so we get point form. Perfect. So here's a list of... I'm sorry, enumerated list. Here's a list of all the major things that happened to me and her.

Please request in comments if you want the full story and details, and then I will take time to write them out. Paranormal experiences. One, we sewaged bodies during sex. Wow. Two, I am a guy and during sex I squirted like a girl. Come again? From where? He did.

Like a girl. Like a girl. Like a girl. He squirted out of his urethra. I'm talking, my dick. Like a girl. Time we robbed a drug dealer's house all by chance and got away. It's a freeze company situation.

Whoa, I'm stealing the TV! Wait a minute. This isn't my briefcase. Brought a bunch of Dyson. I'm gonna steal the chair. Aw. The port-a-potty demon situation. That's it.

We'll move on to that one. Me saving her life three separate times. Her and my best friend ODing at the exact same time, only she came back. A lot more to it. Us being able to read each other's mind. Us being able to read each other's mind. The time we fucked so hard her bed broke and the one side came in even had to adjust our position to find when I finally got up bed was completely normal. Wow.

Cool. Twilight. All right. Nine. The haunted mirror. No more. Ten. The creek people.

There are more, but those would be fine to start with The Greek people, that's all? The Greek people Oh, I heard the Greek people I heard a scary story about Greek people There's no details either way, so

could be Greek That one song It's pretty scary. Most recently, as I got to back together with her, we had, and I don't know how else to say this, but we had a telepathic war in a hotel room where she tried to kill me, backfired on her,

and used my own powers to almost obliterate her spirit from this world's second... Second, end paragraph... End parentheses. and used my own powers to almost obliterate her spirit from this world's second. Second and paragraph or in parentheses. What? Yeah, so if this post doesn't belong her, just direct me where to. Cheers.

I don't know what belongs her, so might as well stay here. Oh, there's a lot. Someone did ask for clarification on four and 9, and they posted long posts. Wow. Is there anything actually worth reading in your drug addict clarification?

It's a wall of text, so you're asking me to do a lot of parsing very fast. Oh, my God. That's so much text. I saw catch 22. I'm closing the window. Oh my god, that's so much text. I saw catch 22, I'm closing the window. This next section, so that was r slash paranormal encounters, a brief detour into the spoopy. This next section that Semantic We put together is called I Know How Drugs Work.

Yeah. Actually professional. So, I think Heelys. I'm going to give you a choice. Okay. We got two different stories here. One is by Senvar and it's sort of

a Fox News headline kind of thing. Crackheads at Walmart? Okay. And the other one is called, it's by Mick Lulz and it's called Abandon Hospital. I want to do Abandon Hospital.

Okay. Well then, take it briefly. Hospital. Hi. hospital. Okay, well then take a brief lease. Hospital. Hospital. Hi. Hi, I'm Nicklaus. This happened a couple days ago.

Me and my friends decided to go to an abandoned hospital about 8pm from the city. The road we took with our bikes went rally fast. We entered the hospital from the back. At first, we went to upstairs and tried to get to the roof, but the door was locked. Wow.

So we went to discover the laundry room, gym, etc. After we decided to leave the hospital... Gym? Gym. Hang on. Gymnasium. In a hospital? Yeah, for all the sick people work out. Maybe, maybe.

After we decide to leave the hospital, we were walking the stairs down. We were at one floor still walking the stairs when we heard a step and a loud crack. And me and my five friends started running stairs up about two or three floors. Wow. Wow. My three other friends stayed there with the man. First I thought it was a landlord but it was a drug user. Whoa.

My friend says the guy hello. Guy answers hello. Yup. Yes. Then the guy was wearing a green construction jacket and trousers. But only after he said hello. Yes. Then the guy was wearing a green construction jacket and trousers. But only after he said hello. Yeah.

Had to load in. So at first he was T-posed. Yeah. And like floating just like three inches above the ground. Guy started to reach something in his pocket there was the moment when me when my friend three friends started to run the guy didn't follow them right away the guy was searching us all the time we were there me and my friends started going the one open window we got out my two friends tried to get up didn't. Because they got jammed in there like two cartoons.

Oh, no. My friends are tummy thick. Yeah. I was last one to get out of the window. I started hearing steps from behind me. It was the guy I jumped out of the window and got away. My three other friends did the same later. It was the most scariest thing

that ever happened to me. What? What happened? The only thing that I can parse is that some people were in a hospital and a guy said hello. Yeah, I'm so scared.

He had a green construction jacket and trousers. He may or may not have been doing drugs. Or construction. Both of which terrify me. Yeah, the little label over his head that originally said landlord, but switched to drug user. When his life bar showed up. What you got there, Dijon? Yeah, I either mind control or drugged by a couple.

I'm bass intrepid. I either mind control or drugged by a couple? I'm bassintrepid. I either mind control or drugged by a couple? Yeah. Yeah, I either mind control or drugged by a couple. Bassintrepid. No, I'm bassintrepid. I'm a vish. Oh, sorry.

Me, a dfriend, decided hang out with them because sort of at a party on my birthday for my old best friend or Geico worker. I gotta tell you, Basin Trapid, I've been looking for a D-friend. Oh, that's good, because me, a D-friend. Yeah, yeah. All right, great. So, the couple who last won want to go to a bar across the street,

but they were strangers, and I thought it was weird. But my friend want us to go anyway, so we did. Alright. When we were the boyfriend or husband, bought our drinks, which was nice of them, but weird, considering that didn't know us very well.

When they asked to play bar games at first, want to do something separate but start play pool. This one gets weird, start play pool. When she lost, even though he bragging about good, she was lost because put the black ball in. She want him to keep going, even though the game was over. Suddenly, he was great at playing pool. Is this chat GPT-1? Is that what this is?

And she kept saying, said you used to play to play the game some like that. I felt some more like playing the game more trance i got but i try pull out of it i saw her shake her head and he getting angry so tried different attack where she would talk to us but i was already creep out that drank my drink so fast and want friend to leave. I want to leave. Didn't what they planned, but it was scary. I left weirdly aroused, even though wasn't and everything was so dizzy. wasn't, and everything was so dizzy.

But I believe that if we had stayed longer, I'd have, oh dear, us be weird for a couple. So, that was an entire story written by, like,

autocomplete, right? Like, it's just hidden next? Yeah, yeah. It's the new thing is you start you start a paragraph with me a d friend and see what goes from there let me just message boots rain gear okay me uh d friend okay of mine is a little bit of a break, but I don't know. That's pretty much the same.

I got a message from Lemon. Let's see what it says. Let's see. Me, a D friend of mine is a little bit of a break, but I don't know. That was basically Trump's only post on reddit ever they short-circuited yo my name is yiz yiz yiz yiz my name is yiz yiz

yeah uh okay as you get yeah maybe uh this is uh this is just a short story i want to tell you some some stoner was smoking a blunt at the park when I was walking home from my work, and the dude started following me. I kept looking behind me, and he looked stoned, so I took a turn into the alley and went into my house via the alleyway. So much alley talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was later the night.

Hey, hey, come on, spooky. Come on, man. Come on, man. I'm building the story here. So I went to the house, right? It was later the night, and I was jacking off, and the guy is staring at me through my window, and he wouldn't leave, so I called the police, and they took the guy, and I'm waiting for a response. The end. Oh.

What? Yep. What response do you want? Do you want to know how your jack-off was or what? As I'm waiting for my review.

Three and a half stars! What the fuck? Jerking off, looking at the stone out of my window Saying come on man get out of here Come on Soup Alright Okay so that section of course

I know how drugs work This possibly Nearly the last section here Is called I am very badass. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a completely different section for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think Frank West, I'm going to let you have a choice here. Ooh. So the first story. Mm-hmm. I like this first one a lot. Mm-hmm. The first story is by HustlerPlayerPimp. That's so me. Wow.

Do-do-do-do! Oh, this is your deleted their account. HustlerPlayerPimp! Okay, and then, yeah, so that story by HustlerPlayerPimp is called I Could Sense That My Friend Was About To Be Murdered. And then the second story is called Guy on Bus. Well, look, you don't get handed a role like Hustler Player Pimp and turn it down. Yeah, fair enough, fair enough. Yeah, so tell me about this friend

who's about to be murdered. Or, well, don't actually mention that. Probably talk about other shit, I assume. Well, yeah, no. It's called a story. I could sense that my friend was about to be murdered.

I met this friend in high school. We went to an all-boys private Catholic school. Pimp. My friend... That's where pimps start. My friend Brent and I were from a local blood gang called 31. They're called 31 Comma. Oh, you're right, yeah.

We're from 31 Comma, because there was already one called 31. They got there first. But this friend, David, was from a rival game called Newberg, which was way on the other part of town but david always said he was from our gang too which was impossible but we didn't mind david david would always throw up our gang signs and act like one of us our gang signs a three and a one And then a little We did the comma with our pinky

Oh okay I always chose My gang sign in Saints Row was always The eastbound and down one After a while David switched schools And we didn't see him much more after that. So one day, I was walking down my street coming from a Chinese restaurant, and I see David!

My first thought was, why is David in this part of town? David's gang, Newberg, was 20 to 30 minutes away, and he was on the wrong part of town. Something was fishy. I really didn't care, but I knew he was in danger. I think your detective novel's really gonna kick off. I just need a name that, like,

puns on it being a Catholic school, but also a gang. I can't make it work. Oh, Saints Row. Damn it, no! Fuck. Also, a local blood gang? I don't think the blood's franchise.

The blood gang. The local chapter of the blood. I figured like a vampire gang or something. Yeah. Oh, that kind of blood gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah kind of blood gang. Okay. Blades coming. David appeared fine.

Masquerade begins. David appeared fine. He had a fresh new haircut, new clothes, and was just hanging out on the corner. That's how I noticed David while walking home. We spoke very briefly, then we parted ways. Then about a few months later, I saw David again, but this time he was even deeper into the very worst part of my neighborhood. I wondered why David, a person from a rival gang from far away,

was in my territory. Even I wouldn't be where David was. I actually was at another completely different chinese restaurant on broadway street when i ran into him this time i fought all the goons in the playground marking and i did it three times therefore the territory is mine there's no way this also says anybody else is allowed to take it over He was all by himself And it was beginning to become dark outside But he appeared to be happy Anyways

What happened to David Don't be happy so soon Reader You're gonna tell a creepy story One important element in a creepy story is A man is fine twice Well that's cause it's a creepy story is a man is fine twice. Well, that's because it's a real story.

Okay. Yep. Real life isn't always so cut and dry. Sometimes it's a little messy. Sometimes people are happy. Okay? Okay. I mean, really?

No, I don't think that's true. No, it's usually not. I've spent a lot of time on this earth, and I don't feel like in real life people are happy. That's fair, that's fair, that's fair. Anyways, instead of warning David, I minded my own business and went about on about my day. But not that long after seeing him, I saw on the news that he had been murdered in gun violence in my neighborhood. Murdered in gun violence? Oh, he must have been killed by a cop, because that's how the news is right.

There was a gun-related incident. The police were involved. A bullet was ejected from a gun independently of any other potential actions. Man foolishly gets in way of bullet. But man was arrested 20 years ago, so

who's the real monster I have no clue why he was in my neighborhood Like I said I think he glorified My gang more than his and really wanted To be a part or a member I have the news article about what happened But I don't think I can share it as a link Why

Because it hurts too much To think about I to think about ghost in the computer i just think about david who i don't care about that much and that time he was happy and i saw him happy just like oh man you're you're you're catholic raised suburban gang is so much better than mine i want to be part of the Bloods. My gang is called Newberg. It really does sound like he's talking about Grand Theft Auto 3. I thought this had a very, very strong, like, West Side Story. Yeah.

He was in the bad part of town, though. Like, the part that he wouldn't even go in. He was in, like, New York. Downtown. Downtown New York. Which I like. The most dangerous all-boys Catholic school. He was at the mall that doesn't even have an American Eagle's outfielders.

I wouldn't even go there. Even though I can see him, so I'm pretty pretty close but I wouldn't go down the street over there uh one next thing I want to get to here uh as quick as we can is uh this piece uh this section is called uh short pieces with creative punctuation uh he's if you'll start us off please a strange man in

line I was shopping today while I was in line this one man probably in his 50s or 40s and he seemed a little weird he only had a small whiskey bottle and a small a strange man in line i was shopping today while i was in line this one man probably in his 50s or 40s and he seemed a little weird he only had a small whiskey bottle and a small banana and he said something to himself in russian but i didn't understand stood it and just wanted to know who i was but i kept silent and he started to talk some of their teens were waiting in line and then later staff came and he was told he won't shut up he was about to be kicked out he wasn't even the distance but it had to be a safe point two meters so when i was done paying for things i got out didn't think much after i got home so now i'm

eating my potato chips and drink my pepsi and chilling out i remember folks staying home and wash damn hands i'm canis guy dq restaurant creep so i lived in a small town over the radio we learned that there was a creep in our area so So I didn't think any of it right. But once I went to my friends, this was a year ago in quotes. Somebody said, I guess. I don't know. And there was a guy that was in a red truck staring at me, but I didn't think anything of it. So me and my friends came out and that guy in the truck was still there only looking at me.

It was creepy, though. And a story. I'm. Oh creepy, though. End of story. I'm, ooh, I don't know, ooh, there's someone, there are someone in my house. Oh, you don't know. Are there? There are a fuck person in my house.

There's a fuck person in my house. Okay, there's a fuck person in my house okay short I'm in my bed I woke up 40 min ago by keys in my door my parents are working my brothers are at school and I have a second floor bed like not on the floor it's a mezzanine

my bed is suspended from the ceiling And I have a second floor bed, like, not on the floor, it's a mezzanine. My bed is suspended from the ceiling. This person walking, I DK what she was doing, but she searched something, making a lot of noise, I DK who it is. Maybe it's my parents, and I'm paranoid, but it's really unusual. I'm not English, i try to be understandable but i'm afraid idk what to do i can't to call cops if idk who is the person i'm hiding in my bed with the knife for the moment that's true if you call the cops you don't know the person they won't show up i try to be understandable this door is called the boy. Today a little boy came to me and asked me who I am, where I am, what I am.

Do someone know what he means? He told me that his mother told him that he must go to me. So he mean that she say she can help you go away from here. Here it is not safe. Then he run in the woods. I was confused and I walked home. Ein paar Stunden später habe ich einen Aufruf mit nein, in quotes, bekommen.

Oh. Duh. I'm... I'm Sansko the Skeletono! Hooray! This was terrific for me. Oh, alright, great. Oh, good. Welcome to Reddit.

I guess I'm the creep, maybe. I don't know. One time, I was playing my 3DS, and me and my brother and my sister heard a knock on our door. My mom and dad wasn't home. We looked at the cameras.

There's a man with a bow. Sorry. Not the hidden cameras. Just cameras. We saw a man who looked like he was shot and stabbed five times. I guess we counted. What? We locked ourselves in the bathroom, and we were scared to crap.

Oh, that's a terrible thing in the bathroom. That's what you're supposed to do in there. What's the point of this place now? were scared to crap oh that's a terrible thing in the bathroom my sister called 9-1-1 while i called my mom after she yelled out the door saying we called the police after that they ran we were okay but i'll never forget that moment this was terrific for me i'll never forget that this was terrific for me. I'll never forget that. This was terrific for me. Senzo, this is gonna tell now. I'm the good and the bad 23. The teacher. The reason why I wrote about

the teacher is because I had a creepy encounter where a math teacher in 7th grade would take naughty teens in my and others' classes and bring them to a room. Okay, alright, yes, go on. I never actually knew what was going on in the room because I never got in trouble in her class. Oh, fuck. But a really scary encounter was when my friend got punished and was sick for the next four days.

We all thought the teacher did something to him, but it was probably just a coincidence. This teacher inspired me to write my short paragraph, which I hope would be better. Sorry, Reddit! And that's what I did on my summer vacation. I have to describe a story that I will never forget sometime.

But that's another story. Have a good day and stay out of trouble. I'm Mr. Crew, and this is the Halloween. Hello, I'm Sasha. It's the first time I write on this Reddit. I remember I was Halloween day. I decided to watch a horror movie alone at home because my parents were away from home.

Cat, while I was looking for a movie, I heard knock on the window. Cat, while I was looking for a movie, I heard knock on the window. I was scared, and I said to see on the surveillance cameras if there was something. I didn't see anything. I forgot to say that I was in the living room. There was no way to go back and put that in. And there are three windows, one on the left, one on the right, and one above me. Skylight. I had heard from the right now and i found my film

and when i started it i heard in the kitchen a lot of broken glass i froze in fear i ran to go get a knife from there i didn't think he could have been there and to kill me but luckily that didn't happen i had taken the biggest knife I could find, but I remembered something. I forgot the back door open. I ran as fast as I could to my room, and I locked myself there to call the police. I heard the door open. I had a small viewfinder in my room. I'm

sorry. I looked at the viewfinder. I'm sorry. Sorry. I looked at the viewfinder. It was a bloody clown with a gun in his hand. I quickly hid in the closet and called the police, and they told me it would arrive in five, ten minutes. Or three.

I could hear them looking for me in the house with a gun in his hand. Say gun, gun, gun, gun. Time passed so hard. Time passed so hard that every second I felt it for a minute, but fortunately I saw the police lights and I felt relieved. Five policemen came in from behind and surrounded him. I heard them pressing.

They called five cops? Five cops showed up? Okay. Yeah, but here's the sound I heard. I heard them pressing the trigger. What a big-ass fucking gun they had. And how he pierced my right leg. And they told me that I could go out because I am safe.

I still have nightmares with this clown, but because I met that clown, I took a pistol for self-defense. So for the good of the clown, I hope we don't ever meet again. This is your start. You're still looking out for the clown. Hey, hey, I'm Creative

Contest 311, and this is X, break in. I was sitting on my couch home alone, playing the classic 80s game Mike Tyson Punch Out. Sure. My mother was working. That's why I was alone.

Out of nowhere the power goes out. Same time the power went out, I heard a huge rip in the basement. Is that like a giant bong rip? Yeah, because that's where the electricity wick-aamalode is.

What? The electricity wickamalode? Wickamakalode? Wickamakalode. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, whatchamacallit. Oh, that's what you're going for.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. All right. Oh, that's what you're going for. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay.

All right. Oh, yeah. So the thing that's in the circumference. Oh, fuck. I can't know. I don't know that word. No, I can't spell that word. Oh, fuck it.

Oh, my gosh. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, fuck. Wicked McAote. Alright. That when I see you on the recognizable face, it's the Wicked Macalote. I ran up to my room and locked the door.

That's when I heard the creepiest thing of my life, ellipses. Oh, Michael! Yes, that's how I spell my name. My keel. I'm going to say this right now.

If anybody manages to, if somebody provides us a really good drawing of the Cryptozoological creature, the Wicca mackalote, I'll give Frank West $21. $21. $21. All right.

All right. You heard it here first. $21. $21. All right. All right. You heard it. You heard it here first. $21 on the line. If somebody can provide Boots Rangier, you can post it on Ball Pit. We don't tweet anymore. You can... Yeah.

Whatever. I really need this money, guys. If you give Boots Rangier a drawing of the Wicca McAloat, Boots Rangier will give Frank West $21. I am exactly $21 behind on rent this month. I really need this money. I hope this episode gets edited really

fast. It's actually the 31st right now. Yeah, they're in trouble. Can we get this out tonight? Is that possible? Anyways, that was so creepy. Next thing that happened is I heard sirens, and the guy was arrested.

Nobody called the cops. You're arrested! They just showed up. You're caught! When I went outside to see the guy who broke into my house, it was my mom's ex! I was surprised. Anyways, I went back to dream, back to bed,

and had a dream about my real dad. My mom's ex. Long story short, this was creepy. My dream, specifically. Why would I dream about him? It's fucked up. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Why would I dream about it? It's fucked up. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, you have problems. Skeletons in the living room. Hell yeah. My name's Insane Fandoms. All right, so this is a story my mom told me. This is her earliest memory.

It's a creepy story about my mom. She said that she was about two or near that age. She went downstairs in her home one morning. She woke up before anyone. She went near or into I forgot which one. And she saw a bunch of skeletons playing around together. They were playing their ribcages

like a xylophone. All the skeletons stared at my mom and my mom stared at them. Oh, the skeletons looked at you? Yeah, with their hollow like, you know, yeah, whatever. My mom went upstairs and then back downstairs and then

they were nowhere. My mom said that there was probably 20 skeletons. Oh, fuck. There's a huge living room. Very tiny skeletons. Oh, I. There's a huge living room. Very tiny skeletons. Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't say there were human skeletons. Yeah.

Well, I'll bet it, guys. My name is... Oh, boy. My name is Hernergzi. Small Eastern European country. There's one vowel in that yeah exactly it's at the end worst part of that

my dad uh i'm 19 year old i'm 19 years old male oh live in a small city called dot dot dot i was in my grandma's house when this happened to me My grandma and I were at the dinner table when suddenly

When suddenly my mom went down the stairs and told us to get out of the house right now My grandma was starting to get ankyos with the situation And Theo, my mom, started to run to the door When I started to follow her with my grandma i looked back to see a face on the stairs gosh i ran so much just a face in the stairs like on the dolly face on the stairs when we were out of the house my mom started to explain the situation apparently my das wasn't in the room

with her anymore oh my das box what and when age oh my fuck and when age really daddy it and when age reality day it a guy appeared in her back. He wasn't with a weapon. He just looked at her and then ran. And then she ran to the stairs. After a while, we saw my dad looking at us with a weapon. Well, yeah, he was just drunk. But I swear that the face I saw on the stairs wasn't my dad. What the fuck was that story?

Stairs are not my dad. The dad was drunk and showed up with a weapon and spooked everybody but then they're like oh it's fine you're waving a weapon around like there's a story of a domestic abuse so deep in that story yeah i can't pull it out for your language because somehow the focal point of this is that they saw someone else, they thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unrelated to any of the other stuff happening. Yeah, like, in that

case, like, he kind of puts it at the end. It was like, oh, it's my violent, abusive father. So that's fine. But I could have sworn there was something actually scary. Sure, yeah, sworn there was something actually scary. Sure, yeah. I saw a spooky stare dad. And then closing up this document, Achilles Healy is we have a list of titles.

Semantic Weed put together. Somebody wants me to download WhatsApp and I don't know why. His name is Mark Zuckerberg. I heard some strange noises coming from the woods. Should I go and see what it is? How far away from the woods are you? Some distance. It's going to be fucking clowns again.

Something whistled at me and my friend and I don't know what. Weird hand. I was almost being followed on my way to work. Almost? This one almost followed you. My house may be getting increasingly haunted over the years. Stop doing the murders. No.

Ever heard of... He's got a pointy, John. Ever heard of Murder Mountain? No. No, I'm not... I told you, I told you. I told you. I don't buy early access.

Coming to a next door near you, the SUV that slowed down near me. All right. Fine. And there were black people inside. The evil camp counselors bigfoot teleported in my neighbor's yard and abused me emotionally clowns at a campsite i was almost kidnapped and thrown in a van and dismembered.

All right, listen. I'm about to grab you, and when I do, I will put you in this van, and then you will be dismembered. They were gently placed in the van and scratched. My chubby, stalkerish thing person. I'm bad with titles. I disagree, actually. That's pretty person. I'm bad with titles. I disagree, actually. That's pretty good. I'm clicking on it.

It worked on me. My ex is a weird man with so many issues. I mean, okay. Creepy Serbian on a bus. On bus. Clearly just. Christ. Serbian on a bus on bus my story about the homeless man or it's next door again I saw a killer crown

at school sort of are people who use methamphetamine more susceptible to possession what are the lesser known signs of possession trigger warning? I wish I had evidence to back up my claims. That's it. What did we learn from any of this, Fplus?

Well, I learned that it's apparently just normal enough for kids growing up now to have surveillance cameras around their home that they don't bother setting up while they're there. So that's cool. Yeah. I like that. Is it that or is it that a couple of subreddits

that naturally accumulates really paranoid people happens to attract a lot of A, drug dealers and B, wealthy people? What percent of self-authored stories on the internet do you think are creepypasta at

this point is it like 80 oh i mean i don't know because like because like i mean this also has to be not always right and like there's a certain amount yeah okay okay but it's it's a big number. It is a big number! I mean, it's a way to write... It's a format with which you can write fiction. I don't think it's ever succeeded as being readable fiction, at least that I've ever seen in my life. Well, kids don't get around a campfire to tell scary stories anymore, so they gather around the glow of the internet. I'm 80.

Holy shit. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I'm actually, I already have, I'm writing a Medium piece about that as we speak. Oh, great. It's going to get published in the New York Times. Oh, that's, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That is 19-page Atlantic article, for sure. Okay, that's cool. I'll make sure to stagger it, because I'm doing mine on my sub stack. Have we lost the ghost story? Somehow it's a piece that you've been researching for two and a half years. Well, that's because no one's subscribing to my Patreon. Right. Yeah.

This will push it over. This will push it over. Yeah. I don't. I don't. I mean, because to your point, like, to your point, I just don't. There is so much creepypasta. And obviously, it takes no effort to write. But it is all crap. Like, I can't imagine. Like, I guess that's the thing is I'm trying to figure out, like, are there readers who see that thing and go like, holy shit, wow, really? Wow, oh my god, that was great. I think there are 12-year-olds that do that, yeah.

Yes, yes. Because kids like looking at, like, kids like looking at good things, but they also like looking at things that they can do themselves. Well, kids like the worst dog shit in the world, and then if they can do it themselves, that's even better. Yeah. So, like, it's really fun for a kid to read a creepypasta and be able to engage with it because they can just make that also.

Sometimes they'll do the same creepypasta. They'll just write the same shit. They're kids. They don't know not to do that. You can make Beth the killer. The killer guy who wears red shirts instead of a blue one. Mm-hmm. Like, we recently...

There was very recently, like, a household discussion, because my daughter is now at the point that, like, she wants to make a lot of her own, sort of, like, YouTube decisions. And... And there was, and she was like, we need to spin up my own account because

I'm tired of you judging me for my YouTube. And I'm like, yeah, no, that's fair. You don't need that in your life. You don't need that in your life. And the cat's in the cradle in the silver spoon. Because like up until that point, like it was

giving a mushed recommendation engine that was that was me and it was also her. Yeah, that's not good. It was like, hey, what would you like to watch today? Would you like to watch this Taylor Swift music video,

or would you like to watch Pondaflore? And then every once in a while, it finds a Taylor Swift Pondaflore mixed together. It's like, I fucking got it, yeah! Finally. Our website, as always, thefpl.us forum is ball pit.

Ahoylemon.xyz is a place with dumb websites. And as of this morning, I'm starting a new one. I'm not going to tell you anything about it now, but it's a good idea, and it's going to be fun. Ooh. I don't know.

We actually, as of this posting, I got to say, by the way, thank you so much, Puppy Time, for a bunch of your drawings, including the Mothman versus the bourgeoisie. That thing has been selling so well. People really love Mothman destroying the means of capital. And I want to do more merch in general. Folks that are artistically inclined, please reach out to me, because I'm not artistically inclined. We've talked about a hat for like a year now. We've talked about a hat for like a year, and I can do it.

I just need some help from artists. So reach out to me, and we will make more merch. Bye. Also buy some. Maybe check out the merch. Maybe there's merch right now. Or maybe not. But bye. Maybe there's merch right now, or maybe not, but bye! Hey, Fless.

Hey, Lemon. Yeah, yeah, Garfield for Todd. Right out of the way. All right. Wow. Hey, Lemon. Hi. Yeah, yeah, Garfield Faton. Wow. Right out of the way. All right. Wow. Fine. Wow.

Okay. All right. A little teeny, honestly. If this is where you're at now, where are you going to be in like 10 years with that one? It was perfectly smooth. I felt like it fit right in. Yeah. Yeah. How have your encounters been?